Understanding the Self and Others

“What’s your type?”

“You mean, tall, dark and handsome?”

“No, not that. I meant your type.”

“Oh, INFP.”

You might have heard of conversations like this or you even might have been a part of it.
Those cryptic letters talk about the different personality types from Myers-Briggs test. It was widely
used even before the pandemic; however, it became even more popular now that everything
switched to online. Each letter represents an end of a spectrum (I-Introvert or E-Extravert,
N-Intuition or S-Sensing, T-Thinking or F-Feeling, J-Judging or P-Perceiving), a combination of these
4 is equal to a personality by Myers-Briggs. Another personality test less popular than Myers-Briggs
but is still widely used is the True Color Test. The True Color test gives us the combination of colors
we have based on our answers. It is believed that among these colors, one of them truly stands out
per person. These kinds of tests only determine a general grasp the personality of a person. After all,
no person is the same even if we’re both INFP or has the true color of Green.

Admittedly, when I took these tests, I have also searched for the personality of the people
close to me too. This is because although these tests do not describe exactly the person’s
personality, it still does not change the fact that it provides a general idea on how I can
communicate or approach them. I may not have fully understood the person, but it gives me an idea
of who they are. This kind of test also gives people a sense of being understood. I have read
comments under these tests where it was stated that they used to feel confused and wrong about
what their interests are, how farfetched they thought it was, but knowing the diversity through the
tests and that they weren’t alone made them accept who they are.

It is also interesting to note that these tests also present some core strengths and
weaknesses of each personality. This is important in understanding yourself. whether we admit it or
not, our default setting is the belief that we are the center of the universe. Everything we experience
is viewed using our own lens and as stated in the podcast from Tatak UPD NSTP, we have our own
biases. The tests’ presentation of strengths and weaknesses for each personality made me
re-evaluate myself even if I agree or disagree on some things. I also did not feel personally attacked
because the strengths and weaknesses stated are general and neutral. Since our default setting is
that we are the center of everything, there must be a conscious effort to evaluate things from other
people’s perspectives.

In service of the people, understanding yourself is imperative because in doing so, you will
know exactly when to step up when the situation calls for it. One thing I’m sure of about me is that
there are times I want to serve but I find it really hard to lead, so I have given up a lot of
opportunities even if I know deep within that I can do it. Now that I have recognized this, I started
taking conscious effort albeit difficult, but I am taking steps to overcome this. More importantly,
something I forget most of the time, I also know now when to step down and let others take charge
of the situation. I am used to doing things all by myself, so I rarely ask for help even if I know I need
it to produce better service. I need to consciously tell myself that I am not the center of the universe
and that this is not about me. Service is all about the betterment of everyone, of those who need it,
and by those who can effectively provide it to them.

On the other hand, understanding others is equally as important because more than anyone,
they are the one who knows what they need and what you can do for them. It is important to put
yourself in the position of the people you wish to serve and ask yourself, “If it were me, how would I
react? What would I want?” Understanding others will lead you to your own journey of
understanding yourself too. Understanding the self and others does not happen overnight nor in a
couple of years, as long as you’re breathing, you are under this process of learning and unlearning,
of growth and change.

The mentioned personality tests are an example of tools that allows us to understand and
evaluate ourselves and others. Understanding the self and others always goes hand in hand,
especially in service. This is a cycle and as cliché as it may sound, no man really is an island.