101 " Sex and the City " called.

Man2 : Tim, it's EliZabeth. That's an awfully long rain check.

Narration : Once upon a time an English journalist came to New Narration : He said he was up to his ears and that he'd call the

York. next day.

EliZabeth was attractive and bright, and right away Women3:: He never did call... Bastard.

she hooked up with one of the city's eligible bachelors. Narration : She told me one day over coffee.

People : rie : The question remains, is this a company we want to Women3: I don't understand.

own? In England, looking at houses together would have meant

Narration : Tim was 42 . something.

A well-liked and respected banker, who made about two million a Narration : I realiZed no one had told her about the end of love in

year. Manhattan.

They met one evening, in typical New York fashion, at a gallery Welcome to the "age of un-innocence".

opening. No one has "breakfast at Tiffany's", and no one has "affairs to

Man1:: Like it? remember".

Women1 : Yes, actually I think it's quite interesting. What? Instead, we have breakfast at : 7 am

Man1: I feel like I know you. and affairs we try to forget as quickly as possible.

Women1 : Oh, doubtful. Self-protection and closing the deal are paramount.

I just moved here from London. Cupid has flown the co-op.

Man1: - Really? Carrie : How did we get into this mess?

That's my favorite city. Narration : There are thousands of women like this in the city.

Women1 : It is? Carrie : know them and we all agree they're great.

Man1: Absolutely. They travel, they pay taxes, they'll spend $400 on a pair of Manolo

Narration : It was love at first sight. Blahnik strappy sandals, and they're alone.

Women1 :: You know, I think perhaps I have met you somewhere Carrie : It's like the riddle of the Sphinx. Why are there so many

before. great unmarried women and no great unmarried men?

Narration : For two weeks they snuggled... went to romantic Narration : I explore these issues in my column and I have terrific

restaurants... sources: my friends.

had wonderful sex... and shared the most intimate secrets. Man4 : When you're in your 20: s, women control the relationships.

One day, he took her to a house he saw in the New York Times. By the time you're in your 30 s, you're being devoured by women.

Women2: How about if we start at the top? There are four Suddenly the guys are holding all the chips.

bedrooms upstairs. - Do you have any children? I call it "the mid-thirties power flip".

Man2 - Not yet. Man 5: It's all about age and biology.

Narration : That day Tim popped the question. If you want to get married, it's to have kids, right?

Man2: Would you like to meet my folks Tuesday night? If you do it with someone older than , you have to have kids right

Women3: I'd love to. away.

Narration : On Tuesday he called with some bad news. And that's about it.

Man2- My mother's not feeling very well. These women should forget about marriage... and have a good

Women3: Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. time.

Man2: Can we take a rain check? Miranda : I have a friend who'd always gone out with extremely

Women3: - Of course. sexy guys

Women3: Tell your mum I hope she feels better. and just had a good time.

Narration : When she hadn't heard from him for two weeks, she One day she woke up and she was 41 . She couldn't get any more
dates. Samantha : Afterwards, I felt nothing. It was like, "Gotta go, catch

She had a breakdown, couldn't hold on to her job, and moved you later."

back to Wisconsin to live with her mother. Trust me, this is not a And I completely forgot about him after that.

story that makes men feel bad. Charlotte : That's because he didn't call you.

Charlotte : Most men are threatened by successful women. If you Samantha : Sweetheart, it's the first time in the history of

wanna get these guys, you have to keep your mouth shut and play Manhattan

by the rules. that women have had as much power as men,

Miranda friend : I totally believe that love conquers all. Sometimes plus the equal luxury of treating men like sex objects.

you just have to give it a little space. That's what's missing in Miranda : Yeah, except men in this city don't want to be in a

Manhattan - the space for romance. relationship with you,

Man 6 : : The problem is expectations - older women won't accept but if you only want them for sex they don't like it. - Suddenly

what's available. they can't perform.

Miranda : By your mid thirties, you think why should I settle? You Samantha : That's when you dump them.

know? Carrie : Come on, ladies, are we really that cynical? - What about

Charlotte : The older we get, the more we keep self-selecting down romance?

to a smaller group. Charlotte : Who needs it?

Man :What women really want is Alec Baldwin. Miranda : It's like that guy, Jeremiah, the poet.

Man : :There's not one woman in New York The sex was incredible, but then he wanted to read me his poetry

who hasn't turned down ten wonderful guys and go out to dinner and chat, and I'm like, "Let's not even go

because they were too short, or too fat, or too poor. there."

Miranda : I've been out with short, fat and poor guys. It makes no Charlotte : What are you saying? Are you saying you're just gonna

difference. give up on love?

They are just as self-centered as the good-looking ones. - That's sick!

Man : :Why don't these women marry a fat guy? Carrie : Look, if the right guy comes along,

Why don't they just marry a big fat tub of lard? this whole thing's right out the window.

people :Happy birthday Dear Miranda Happy birthday to you Charlotte : That's right! –

Narration : Another thirty-something birthday with a group of Samantha : The right guy is an illusion.

unmarried female friends. Start living your life!

We would all have preferred a celebratory conference call. Carrie : So you think it's possible

Miranda : You were saying? to pull off this whole women having sex like men thing.

Samantha : If you're a successful woman in this city you can Samantha : You're forgetting The Last Seduction.

either struggle to find a relationship. or just go out and have sex Carrie : You're obsessed with that movie.

like a man. Miranda : OK! Linda Fiorentino fucking that guy up against the

Charlotte : You mean with dildos? chain-link fence.

Samantha : No. I mean without feeling. Samantha : And never having one of those "God, what have I

Narration : Samantha was a New York inspiration, a public relations done?" epiphanies.

executive. Charlotte : I hated that movie.

She routinely slept with good-looking guys in their 20s. Narration : Was it true? Were women in New York giving up on

Samantha : You know that guy that I was dating? What was his love and throttling up on power?

name? Carrie : What a tempting thought.

Miranda : Drew. Standford : I think the only place where one can still find love and

Carrie : The sex god. romance in New York is the gay community. Straight love has
become closeted. Carrie : Alright. See you there.

Narration : Stanford Blatch was a close friend. Standford : Are you out of your mind? What do you think you're

He owned a talent agency who was down to a single client. doing?

Carrie : Are you telling me that you're in love? Carrie : Come down, it's research.

Standford : How could I possibly sustain a relationship? Carrie : Oh, God! Oh, Kurt!

Derek takes up like 1000% of my time. Narration : Kurt was just like I remembered. Better.

Carrie : Don't you think that's a bit obsessive? Because there would be none of that messy emotional attachment.

Standford : carrie, I'm a passionate person. His career is all I care Carrie friend : Alrighty. My turn.

about. When that's under control, then I can concentrate on my Carrie : Oh, sorry. I have to go back to work.

personal life. Carrie friend : What are you kidding? You serious?

Carrie : Stanford, he's an underwear model Carrie : - Oh, yeah completely.

Standford : With a billboard in Times Square! But I'll give you a call. Maybe we can do it again some time?

Narration : oh, my God, don't turn around. The loathe of your life is Narration : As I began to get dressed, I realiZed that I'd done it.

at the bar. I'd just had sex like a man.

Narration : It was Kurt Harrington. A mistake I made when I was 26 I left feeling powerful, potent, and incredibly alive.

... and 29... and 31 I felt like I owned the city - nothing and no one could get in my

Standford : carrie, don't even go there. way.

Carrie : What do you think, I'm a masochist? The man is scum. Number one - he's very handsome.

Standford : Good. I don't have the patience to comfort you a Number two - he's not wearing a wedding ring.

fourth time. Number three - he knows I carry a personal supply

Carrie : Relax. I don't have any feelings left. - Thank God. of ultra textured Trojans with the reservoir tip.

Carrie : Excuse me, I have to visit the ladies' room. Carrie : Thanks a lot.

Carrie : It was true, I no longer felt a thing for Kurt. Mr big : Any time.

After all these years, I finally saw him for what he was - a self- Narration: Later that night, Skipper Johnston met me for coffee

centered withholding creep, and confessed a shocking intimate secret.

who was still the best sex I ever had in my life. However, I did have Carrie : Thank you.

a little experiment in mind. Skipper : Do you know that it has been a year?

Carrie : Wow, what are you doing here? Carrie : Really? I don't understand that, you're such a nice guy.

Carrie friend : Hey, babe. - God, you look gorgeous. – Skipper : That's the problem. I'm too nice, you know?

Carrie : Thanks. So, how's life? I'm a romantic. I just have so much feeling.

Carrie friend : Not bad, can't complain. You? Carrie : Are you sure you're not gay

Carrie : You know just writing the column, the usual. Skipper :No! I'm sensitive and I don't objectify women.

So, you seeing anyone special? You know, most guys when they meet a girl, the first thing that

Carrie friend : Not really. You? they see is... - You know.

Carrie : Oh, just a couple of guys. Carrie : Pussy?

- But you look good though Skipper : Oh, God! I hate that word.

Carrie friend : So do you. Don't you have any friends that you can hook me up with?

Carrie : So... What are you doing later? Carrie : No, they're too old for you.

Carrie friend : I thought you weren't talking to me for the rest of Skipper : I like older women.

your life? Carrie : Maybe.

Carrie : Who said anything about talking? - Maybe my friend Miranda.

Carrie friend : What do you say, my place, three o'clock? Skipper : When?
Carrie : Tomorrow night. We're all going downtown to this club, you can still be a very interesting person.

Chaos. Miranda : Are you saying that I'm not pretty?

Skipper : Great. Don't tell her I'm nice. Skipper : No, of course you are.

Narration: Miranda was gonna hate Skipper. Miranda : So ipso facto, I can't be interesting? Women fall into one

he'd think he was mocking her with his sweet nature and decide he of two categories,

was an asshole. beautiful and boring, or homely and interesting? Is that it, Skippy?

The way she had decided all men were assholes. Skipper : No, that's not what I meant.

Carrie : Hello? Miranda : Excuse me, is this your hand on my knee?

Charlotte : Hey, carrie, it's Charlotte. Skipper : No.

Carrie : Hey, sweetie. Miranda : Let's keep them where I can see them.

Charlotte : I can't meet you for dinner tomorrow, because I have I guess you must find me beautiful. Or interesting.

an amaZing date. Narration : I was about to rescue Skipper from a hopeless situation,

Carrie : With who when suddenly...

Charlotte : Capote Duncan, a big shot in the publishing world. Do Carrie friend: Lucky me, twice in one week.

you know him? Carrie : You may not be getting that lucky.

Carrie : He was one of the city's most un-gettable bachelors. Carrie : I was pissed off the way you left.

Charlotte : Wait, wait. Don't answer that question, because I don't Carrie friend : You were?

carry. Carrie friend : Yeah. Then I thought how great!

And I'm not buying into any of that women having sex like men You finally understand that we can have sex without commitment.

crap. Carrie : Yeah, right. Sure, I guess. So whenever I feel like it, I'll give

Carrie : I didn't tell her about my afternoon of cheap sex and how you a call.

good it felt. Carrie friend : Yeah, whenever you feel like it. I mean, if I'm alone,

Alright. Listen, have a good time, and promise to tell me everything. I'm all yours.

Charlotte : If you're lucky. Bye. Carrie : Alright.

Carrie : Alright, bye. Carrie friend : I like this new you. - Call me.

Narration : Friday night at Chaos. Carrie : Yup.

It was just like that bar in Cheers where "everybody knows your Narration : I didn't understand,

name". did men secretly want promiscuous and emotionally detached

Except here they were likely to forget it five minutes later. women?

Still, it was the creme de la creme of New York, whipped into a And if I was really having sex like a man, why didn't I feel more in

frenZy. control?

Sometimes you got a souffle, sometimes cottage cheese. Samantha : You see that guy? He's the next Donald Trump,

Miranda : It is like a model bomb exploded in this room tonight. except he's younger and much better looking.

Is there a woman here aside from me that weighs more than a 100 Carrie : Hi.

pounds? Samantha : Do you know him?

Skipper : I know, it's like under-eaters anonymous. Carrie : No, I've never seen him in my life.

Miranda : That's funny, Skippy. Samantha : He usually dates models, but, hey, I'm as good looking

Skipper : Skipper. as a model,

Miranda : I have this theory that men secretly hate pretty girls plus I own my own business.

because they feel that they're the ones who rejected them in high Narration : Samantha had the kind of deluded self-confidence

school. that caused men like Ross Perot to run for President.

Skipper :But if you're not in the beauty Olympics, And it usually got her what she wanted.
Samantha : Well, if you're not gonna hit on him, I will. Samantha : You can't find them anywhere.

Narration : And there she went, off to take her best shot with Mr. Mr big : Cohibas - that's all I smoke.

Big. Samantha : Look, I do the PR for this club and I have a key to the

Meanwhile, Charlotte York was passing the most splendid evening private room downstairs.

with Capote Duncan. Mr big : Really?

Charlotte friend :Want to go back to my place and see the Ross Samantha : You want a private tour?

Bleckner? Mr big : No thanks, but maybe another time.

Charlotte : I'd love to, but it's really getting late Narration : Meanwhile, Skipper was hopelessly smitten with

Charlotte friend : No problem. Miranda Hobbes.

Charlotte : What year was it painted again? Skipper :Where are we going now?

Narration : Charlotte was playing hard to get, but she didn't want Miranda : Listen, Skippy, you know, you really are a nice sweet guy,

to end it too abruptly. but...

Charlotte : Well... Maybe just for a minute. Skipper :Oh, I understand.

This could easily go for a hundred grand. Ross is so hot right now. Miranda : Goodnight.

It's beautiful. Narration : Miranda said she thought he was too nice, but she was

Charlotte friend :No, you're beautiful. willing to overlook one flaw.

Charlotte : Thank you... for tonight. And Capote Duncan found his fix for the night.

Charlotte : I had a wonderful time. Samantha : Where is it? I wanna see the Ross Bleckner.

Charlotte friend : Well, it was my pleasure. Samanda : Later. Later.

Charlotte : I have to get up really early tomorrow. Samantha friend: Oh, listen.

Charlotte friend : I'll get you a cab. I gotta get up really early, so you can't stay over. - Cool?

Narration : Charlotte thought she'd played the entire evening Samantha : Sure, I have to get up early, too.

flawlessly. Carrie : Taxi! Taxi!

Charlotte friend : So, what are you doing next Saturday? Narration : And so another Friday night in Manhattan crept

Charlotte : I'm having dinner with you. towards dawn.

Charlotte friend : Hey, hey, you're going to the West Side, right? Carrie : Taxi!

Charlotte : Right, West Fourth and Bank please. Narration : And just when I thought I would have to do the

Charlotte friend : Scoot over, will you? Two stops, unspeakable -walk home...

Fourth and Bank and west Broadway and Broome. Mr big : Well, get in for chrissakes. - Where can I drop you?

Charlotte : You're going to Chaos? Carrie : 72nd Street, Third Avenue.

Charlotte friend : Oh, yeah. Mr big : You got that, Al?

Charlotte : Why? Yes, sir.

Charlotte friend :I understand where you're coming from and I Mr big : So what have you been doing lately?

totally respect it. Carrie : You mean besides going out every night?

But I really need to have sex tonight. Mr big : Yeah, I mean what do you do for work?

Narration : Back at Chaos, things were swinging into high gear Carrie : Well, this is my work. I'm sort of a sexual anthropologist.

and Samantha was putting the moves on Mr. Big. Mr big : You mean like a hooker?

Mr big : I've been smoking cigars for years, when they were Carrie : No. I write a column called Sex And The City.

terminally uncool. I'm researching an article about women who have sex like men.

Samantha : I've got a source that sends me Hondurans. Do you They have sex and afterwards they feel nothing.

want to try one? Mr big : But you're not like that.

Mr big : No, thank you. Carrie : Well, aren't you?

Mr big : Not a drop. Not even half a drop.

Carrie : Wow. What's wrong with you?

Mr big : I get it. You've never been in love.

Carrie : Oh, yeah?

Mr big : Yeah.

Narration : Suddenly I felt the wind knocked out of me.

I wanted to crawl under the covers and go right to sleep.

Carrie : Thanks for the ride.

Mr big : Any time.

Carrie : Wait.

Have you ever been in love?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

-THE END-