Harvard

Business
Review

Business Management

The Toxic Effects of Branding

Your Workplace a "Family"
by Joshua A. Luna

October 27, 2021

HBR Staff/Peoplelmages/kvkirillovlGetty Images

Summary. When it comes to conversations about our workplace, it's no surprise

that a deeply personal element comes into play. You spend most of your waking
hours at work and share moments in that time that few outside of your coworkers
have context and... more

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If you've seen an open job posting or have been through a new job
orientation over the last decade, you've probably seen the word
"family" thrown around when describing a company's culture.

"We're a family."

"Welcome to the [company name] family."

"We're a family that breathes and lives the mission of the company."

It's no surprise since we spend most of our waking hours

(approximately one-third of our life) at work. Our relationships with
our coworkers serve many functions — they can help us
grow in our career and provide us emotional support and
friendship. So it only makes sense that the relationships you build at
work can mirror those you find within a family context.

But how these play out depend on the culture of your

organization.
As a leadership development trainer, this is one of the biggest
organizational mistakes I see among managers and high-
performing teams. While some aspects of a "family" culture, like
respect, empathy, caring, a sense of belonging can add value,
ultimately trying to sell your organization's culture as family-like
can be more harmful than psychologically satisfying.

How a Family Culture Can Harm Employees

Employers want productive, high-performing employees, which are

often the results of individuals who work well with one
another and produce results. Adding a "family" culture and sense of
belonging might not sound malicious at first, but when used to foster
relationships with the expectations of top-level
performance, employees will rarely be set up for success.

Personal and professional lines begin to blur.

We must understand that "family" means different things to

different people. Not everyone wants to connect with their
coworkers on a deeper level, let alone create a dependency to the
organization. In a professional context, an employee will want to
reserve private details of their personal lives outside of work. But
when your workplace is a "family," these types of conversations can
be fair game, as the goal of the organization is to encourage
socialization for the benefit of the whole. According to research,
when an organization uses the family metaphor in businesses, it
creates a positive, motivating and morale-boosting culture, where
colleagues are not seen as colleagues any more, but as brothers or
sisters. This leads employees to emotionally attach themselves to the
organization. While it can reduce conflicts and disagreements within
the organization, a fear of causing a strain in the
relationship with their superiors (who are now seen as fathers or
mothers) could leave employees feeling like they must share any
information that is being asked of them.

This can be even more challenging in a virtual or hybrid

environment, particularly at a company where much of the
workforce had never worked remotely before. Research shows
when managers cannot "see" their direct reports, they sometimes
struggle to trust that their employees are actually working. This
might prompt managers to seek out employees' start and stop
times as well as information about what they are doing all day long
(read: micromanagement) when on company time. Marry this with
cultures that prioritize output of work over outcomes, and employers
will feel entitled to knowledge that is only relevant to the employee.

An exaggerated sense of loyalty becomes harmful.

When a family member is in need or requires significant

commitment on your end, you rarely have to think twice. At least,
that's the perception among intra-family relationships. Placed
into a work setting, loyalty can get misconstrued as expectations
form to go above and beyond to do anything to get the job done.
According to Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones' book, The Character of a
Corporation, in family cultures, employees are willing to step in to
assist others when the need arises, or even volunteer to "help before
they're asked" in the most selfless manner.
But here is the flip side. Numerous examples and research show that
overly loyal people are more likely to participate in unethical acts to
keep their jobs and are also more likely to be exploited by their
employer. These could manifest as being asked to work
unreasonable hours or on projects or assignments unrelated to your
role, or keeping things under wraps because it is in the
company's (read: family) best interest. We're all in this together, so
you have to play your part, right?

When employees work under this mentality, it's only a matter of

time until performance and productivity drop due to burnout,
leading to conversations with managers or HR about what they did
wrong. This creates a perception for employees to believe they're not
doing their part. Left unaddressed, employers could foster an
environment where burnout is the norm and ultimately impacts the
bottom line through employee attrition and lost
productivity.

A power dynamic is created where employees get taken

advantage of.

If you're promoting a family culture, does that make the employer

the parents and the employees the children? Not everyone has a
good relationship with their parents or siblings and emotions
from family dynamics can easily bleed into professional
relationships, if allowed.

These dynamics can also leave employees feeling unempowered

(the parents usually decide, and the children follow orders) to stand
up for themselves and take on work that falls outside of their
comfort zone. This allows personalities and pre-determined
dynamics to take precedent over what is expected to do their job
well.

Another problem arises when it comes down to letting someone go

or sharing constructive feedback. In a "family" culture, it
almost always will feel personal. You don't fire a family member,
nor do you put them through performance improvement plans.
Relationships between employees and employers are temporary in
nature, and at some point, have to come to an end. So to liken the
relationship to a family creates an allusion that the bond will last
indefinitely.

You'll also risk masking illicit behavior among close-knit

coworkers, because how often do you tattle on your family?
Studies show that employees who operate within a "familial
culture" often fail to report any wrongdoing when they feel closer
ties to the perpetrator. Feelings of fear the damage might cause to
the perpetrator keep fellow employees quiet and complicit.

What Companies Need to Do Instead

When fostering a healthy, supportive culture, avoid promoting a

"family" mentality and focus on putting in place actions and
structures that bring value to and support your employees. For
example, think of your organization as a sports team or a tribe
instead. In doing so, you retain a culture of empathy,
collectiveness, belonging, and shared values and goals, while
outlining a performance-driven culture that respects the
transactional nature of this relationship. To promote a more
balanced culture:

Define high performance and focus on purpose. When

building teams and onboarding new employees, make sure to
disassociate the concepts of "family" from conversations around
high performance and purpose. Let your employees know what is
expected of them to succeed at work and that there is a clear line
between work and their personal lives. Define these work
expectations during an employees' onboarding period and follow-
up through check-ins and 1:1's. During 1:1's, managers should use this
time to gauge levels of employee performance and address any
work-life balance concerns. If that line begins to blur, make it
straightforward for employees to reach out to have conversations
about what can be improved.

Managers should also shift from focusing on a family-culture

centered "We're all in this together" to "We share the same
purpose." Research suggests defining purpose can lead to a
heightened sense of loyalty and stronger employee engagement,
especially when the company's overlaps with the employee's
purpose. Clearly define and communicate the purpose: What are you
trying to achieve? What is your employee's role in helping you get
there? A shared purpose can get everyone rowing in the same
direction.

Set clear boundaries. The grayer the policy, the more

opportunities for misunderstanding. Make sure employees
understand what's expected when it comes to work hours and
what lies beyond standard work hours. Support your employee's
endeavors and let them know that vacation time/PTO is not only
encouraged but expected. Share team calendars where everyone
lists out there PTO and ideas for new vacations. Employees will also
feel more comfortable advocating for themselves when they see this
promoted during their tenure at your company. For
managers, make sure to start the trend by taking your own time
away from work to recharge and spend time on hobbies or
interests. Employees will see you starting this trend and will feel
comfortable to do so for themselves.

If employees start to feel overwhelmed and can no longer manage

performance expectations, make it clear what options are
available to find support and get back on track. Can they take time
off? Can team members pitch in to make their workload more
manageable? Can priorities be reshuffled?

Mutually accept the temporary and professional nature of

this relationship. We have to be realistic about the relationships
employees build with their employers and remember that it is
transactional. Most won't stay at the same company for their
entire career and that's completely okay. As organizations grow, so do
the roles and every organization can be outgrown by its
employees if there aren't enough opportunities for the employee to
grow or if the organization doesn't need the employees' skills or
experiences anymore. Be candid about setting this expectation as
early as the onboarding. If an employee has decided to leave,
don't take offense about them not wanting to work at your
company any longer. Acknowledge their contribution and help
them exit respectfully. If you don't need their skill's anymore, ask
how you can help them find a more suitable position within the
company or elsewhere.

Family ties can be binding and anything that's binding isn't ideal
for growth. Promote these practices and you'll never have to use the
word "family" about your workplace ever again.

Joshua A. Luna is a leadership development

trainer working with managers to build the
next generation of leaders. Every week, he
publishes insights from current business events
and organizational trends. Connect with him on
Linkedln, and subscribe to his Teachable
Moments newsletter to learn from his latest
insights.

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