The Landlord by Louie C.K.

BILL

You know, I’m not entirely sure what your name is but you are a-a classic idiot.
You think spending time with her, kissing her, having fun with her you think that’s
what it was all about? That was love? This is love, missing her because she’s
gone. Wanting to die. You’re…so lucky. You’re like a walking poem. Would you
rather be some kind of a-a-a fantasy? Some kind of a-a-a Disney ride? Is that
what you want? Don’t you see, this is the good part. This is what you’ve been
digging for all this time. Now you finally have it in your hand, this sweet nugget of
love. Sweet, sad, love and you wanna throw it away. You’ve got it all wrong. The
bad part is when you forget her. When you don’t care about her. When you don’t
care about anything. The bad part is coming so enjoy the heartbreak while you
can, for God sakes. Lucky son of a bitch. I haven’t had my heart broken since
Marilyn walked out on me. What I would give to have that feeling again. You
know? I’m not really sure what your name is, but y-you may be the single most
boring person I have ever met. No offense.