Democrats & Republicans: History of Political Parties in the US

The Constitution doesn’t mention Political Parties, because back when it was created, they didn’t exist..
This democracy thing was new, guys.

Although believe me, The Founders had their disagreements, they were afraid of the country falling into
factions. Plus, they loved GEORGE WASHINGTON, like he won every single electoral college vote.

Even though The Founders didn’t set a limit, WASHINGTON decided to retire after two terms. By this
time, the country had split into two camps.

On one side, JOHN ADAMS and ALEXANDER HAMILTON who called for a strong government with a big
bank, and close ties to England. They form The Federalists.

On the other side, JAMES MADISON and THOMAS JEFFERSON who were really just against everything
Alexander Hamilton, so for small government and siding with revolutionary France.. They form the
Democratic Republicans.

By 1815, after The War of 1812 (when the British returned and BURNED DOWN THE WHITE HOUSE),
people wanted unity and the two party system dissolves in The Era of Good Feelings.. but things quickly
fall apart with the bitter feud between John Quincy Adams and Andrew Jackson during the elections of
1824 and 1828.

The pro-JACKSON side rebrands the small-government loving DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS into THE
DEMOCRATS.

THE WHIGS rise up as a party against JACKSON, believing him a tyrant and a jerk (which you’d agree with
if you were a Native American, or one of the guys he beat senseless with his cane).

THE WHIG PARTY campaign WILLIAM HENRY HARRISON against JACKSON’S VP VAN BUREN (or the guy
with the crazy hair). Although they lose in 1836, THE WHIGS run HARRISON again but step it up with
parades featuring free hard-cider, The Log Cabin HARRISON didn’t actually grow up in, and a giant rolling
ball. Which literally coined the phrase “Keep The Ball Rolling.”

HARRISON would be elected in 1840, BUT died in 1841, only 32 days into office after going outside
without a coat on... Bundle up, kids!

THE WHIGS would successfully elect another president in 1849, ZACHARY TAYLOR, but he would die only
16 months into his presidency from getting sick after drinking some milk.

So unsurprisingly, THE WHIGS fall apart, and in 1852, ex-Whigs join-up with northern anti-slavery
activists to form THE REPUBLICANS. Being from the north, they believed in liberty for everyone, from
slaves to big business.
THE REPUBLICANS firmly rise with the Election of their ABRAHAM LINCOLN in 1860, after THE
DEMOCRATS fall into disarray and split into north/south over the issue of slavery. The big guy’s election
in turn starts a little something called The Civil War!

During Reconstruction, DEMOCRATS firmly grab The South and REPUBLICANS, The North.

These post-Civil War DEMOCRATS were pretty abusive of elections, which leads to laws like registering
voters and making sure dead people don’t vote, which was a big problem.

Unsurprisingly, THE DEMOCRATS were pretty unpopular and didn’t win a single presidential election
between 1896 and 1932 aside from WOODROW WILSON, who only made it in because the Republican
vote was split between current PRESIDENT TAFT and former PRESIDENT TEDDY ROOSEVELT who had
formed THE BULL MOOSE PARTY.

However, The Great Depression would prove the Republican economic views of letting Big Business do
whatever it wanted, and traditional views like prohibition, no longer worked for the country.

Democratic PRESIDENT FDR believed that the government could help the poor, and regulate business -
which was something the growing Socialist Party stood for. The great success of his New Deal would
shift the lower class, blacks, immigrants, and catholic voters to the DEMOCRATICS.

By the 1960’s with Democratic PRESIDENT JOHNSON siding with the Civil Rights movement, and
Republican RICHARD NIXON being more regressive towards race, THE DEMOCRATS lose all the southern
“dixiecrats” that were left over from the Good Old Gays and THE REPUBLICANS fully take over the South
and fly over states. Meanwhile, THE DEMOCRATS cement the coasts.