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Manipulation Techniques

Learn POWERFUL Tricks to Control

People’s Mind and GET What You Want
in Life, Understanding Brainwashing,
Hypnosis, Persuasion and Deception
and How to Defend Yourself From

© Copyright 2019 - All rights reserved.
The content contained within this book may not be reproduced, duplicated or
transmitted without direct written permission from the author or the publisher.

Under no circumstances will any blame or legal responsibility be held against

the publisher, or author, for any damages, reparation, or monetary loss due to the
information contained within this book. Either directly or indirectly.

Legal Notice:

This book is copyright protected. This book is only for personal use. You cannot
amend, distribute, sell, use, quote or paraphrase any part, or the content within
this book, without the consent of the author or publisher.

Disclaimer Notice:

Please note the information contained within this document is for educational
and entertainment purposes only. All effort has been executed to present
accurate, up to date, and reliable, complete information. No warranties of any
kind are declared or implied. Readers acknowledge that the author is not
engaging in the rendering of legal, financial, medical or professional advice. The
content within this book has been derived from various sources. Please consult a
licensed professional before attempting any techniques outlined in this book.

By reading this document, the reader agrees that under no circumstances is the
author responsible for any losses, direct or indirect, which are incurred as a
result of the use of information contained within this document, including, but
not limited to, — errors, omissions, or inaccuracies.


Chapter 1: What is Manipulation?

Persuasion vs. Manipulation

Chapter 2: Simple Everyday Manipulation Tips and Tricks

Simple Ways You’re Getting Manipulated Every day and How to Turn Things Around
Flattery
Lying and Deception
Bribery

Chapter 3: Advanced Level Manipulation Methods

Love Bombing
How to successfully love bomb anyone before they love bomb you
Foot-in-the-door technique
How to be successful with the FITD and DITF techniques
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Mirroring Technique
Neuro-
Linguistic
Programming
The Illusion of Choice
Guilt-tripping and Punishment

Chapter 4: Becoming a Master Manipulator

Be a good listener
Turn your flirt on
Communicate well and effectively
Master your emotions
Timing and opportunity
Physical contact
Fear and Manipulation

Chapter 5: The Rules of Manipulation

Rule #1: You must define your target and read them well
Rule #2: Do not sever relationships immediately after fulfilling your need
Rule #3: Be as you wish to seem
Rule #4: Do not get attached
Rule #5: Trust no one
 Rule #6: Do not get cocky
Rule #7: Educate yourself
Rule #8: When caught, stop lying
Rule #9: Do not be predictable
Rule #10: Never underestimate the enemy
Rule #11: Make yourself indispensable
Rule #12: Do not be afraid to make enemies
Rule #13: Know when to cut your losses
Rule #14: Never be too transparent about your intentions
Rule #15: Don’t be a jerk

Chapter 6: Ten-Minute Tips for Manipulation

Tip #1: Change of environment
Tip #2: Make it about the other person
Tip #3: Speak quickly
Tip #4: Dress nicely
Tip #5: Scare tactics
Tip #6: Consistency is key
Tip #7: Silence is golden
Tip #8: Play nice
Tip #9: Carry your cross
Tip #10: Talk that talk
Tip #11: Put the data aside
Tip #12: Be unique but also predictable in a relatable way
Tip #13: Newbies are easy targets
Tip #14: I need your help…
Tip #15: It’s all in the name
Bonus Tip: Food is your friend

Chapter 7: Master Manipulators in World History

Hanns Scharff
Joseph Stalin
Charles Ponzi
Ted Bundy
Dee Dee Blanchard

Chapter 8: Mistakes Making You Vulnerable to Manipulation

You believe everything you hear or read
You overshare or give too much information about yourself
Your self-image and self-presentation
You rush into relationships
 You do not understand what manipulation is
You do not run things through your social circle
You are not selfish with your money
You are not clear on where you stand on certain matters
You think everyone is a nice person
You are not likable

Chapter 9: Manipulation and the Question of Morality

Why Manipulation is Important in Your Life

Conclusion
References

Chapter 1: What is Manipulation?
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear of the term
manipulation? For many people, manipulation is a faraway phenomenon that
happens to other people, and not to themselves. It is highly unlikely that you will
be going about your day thinking about manipulation or worrying that others are
manipulating you. Yet the truth of the matter is, manipulation is everywhere
around us. It is in sales adverts that try to entice you to buy something that you
do not need by convincing you that you do need it. It is in the puppy eyes of a
lover or child trying to get something out of you. Manipulation is also at play
when a passenger is trying to charm a flight attendant into getting a first-class
upgrade. In short, manipulation is everywhere in your daily life. The only reason
it goes unnoticed is because high chances are that you are not looking out for it.
In many cases, it is often so subtle that even if you were looking for it, you
would not notice it.
Manipulation, essentially, is a silent, subtle game happening behind the scenes,
and you can bet that you are not the main character. The key to becoming the
main actor (or at least avoiding the supporting roles a.k.a being the victim) is to
understand what manipulation entails. Once you understand this, you will be in a
position to recognize it, avoid it and even beat it. At the same time,
understanding manipulation will help you to get better at it, if that is your goal.
There is nothing wrong with being good at manipulation. In fact, knowing how
to manipulate your way through life situations is a surefire way of being
successful at a lot of things. The only thing you should be careful of is how you
use your newly gained skills. The reason why manipulation often gets such a bad
rap is because, in many instances, manipulators use their skills to the detriment
of others.
First things first, what is the textbook definition of manipulation? Merriam-
Webster dictionary has various definitions for manipulation, among them: to
manage or utilize skillfully; to control by unfair means in order to gain
advantage and; to change by unfair means in order to serve one’s purpose.
Keep in mind that manipulation, as defined above, may also refer to contexts
where non-human objects are involved. For instance, one might say a particular
data scientist has the ability to manipulate complex data sets. This statement and
the skill therein are something that will be applauded when said out loud. The
same cannot be said when the scenario is changed to show a data scientist who is
very manipulative of his colleagues. The point here is that when it comes to
manipulation, context really matters. While the above definitions of
manipulation are all correct and self-explanatory, psychological manipulation is
the main focus of this book. To borrow from our earlier definition, psychological
manipulation is the ability to manage and utilize people’s minds or psyche
skillfully. A more detailed way of defining psychological manipulation is as
follows: a form of social influence that seeks to control the behavior and
thinking of people through deceptive tactics.

This definition does not make psychological manipulation sound like a very nice
thing, so why do should you do it? Well, if you are reading this book, high
chances are that you’re likely tired of having lost control and want to get it back.
Or maybe you’re tired of hearing no and want to hear yes more regularly. This
book will not be a manual on how to use manipulation to hurt or lie to others. It
is more of a handbook on how to make the most out of your social interactions
for your own benefit and possibly for the benefit of the people around you. It is
not an encouragement to be deceiving to others, but rather a tell-all on the
manipulation signs you have been missing and how you can take back your own
power in your life.
The next chapters of this book will delve into the simple everyday manipulation
tactics that manipulators use that you might not even be aware of, and the more
complex tactics that require a little bit of time to master. You’ll get all the
information you need to become a master manipulator, complete with a chapter
on where to draw the morality line when it comes to manipulation.
Persuasion vs. Manipulation

The line between persuasion and manipulation is so thin that it often gets blurry.
Distinguishing these two concepts can often be difficult, especially depending on
the circumstances and your own perspective as an individual. Persuasion and
manipulation are alike in that in both cases there is someone trying to influence
the decisions and behaviors of another. The key distinction between the two is
that manipulation is seen to be highly driven by self-interest where one party is
willing to go through any length to benefit themselves, including putting others
in harm’s way. Persuasion on the other is the nicer cousin of manipulation--there
is a desire to influence for self-interest but there is often a line drawn to mark
boundaries. Persuasion is the more ethical way to go about it, many will argue.
At the end of the day, however, the two concepts seem to intertwine especially
depending on the techniques used to achieve either of them.

Chapter 2: Simple Everyday Manipulation Tips and
Tricks
Manipulators are all around us. Some of them do it unconsciously. Yes, they do
know that they are trying to get what they want, but if you asked them, they’d
probably not say they are being manipulative. A young child who throws a
tantrum to get what they want is being manipulative. They are trying to gain
control of the situation using their tears and ability to out-yell their parents. They
know that throwing themselves on the floor at a busy Target on a Tuesday
afternoon will ensure they get the toy they are demanding from their parent. Or
at least that’s what they hope. But what does a 3-year old kid know about
manipulation? From a psychological point of view, their understanding of this
concept is not very advanced. And yet, there they are: kicking and screaming on
the floor of a supermarket aisle while their flushed parent mumbles apologies to
no one in particular. This is probably one of their very first attempts at
manipulation, and whether they go on to become a good manipulator later in life
will depend on several factors. One of these is how the parent responds to the
tantrum. If the child gets what they want by throwing a tantrum, they will
determine that that is indeed a great way to always get told yes. If they do not,
they might have to try a different method.

The example of the tantrum-throwing child goes to show that manipulation is a

very instinctive behavior. Every human being has it in them to become
manipulative. Some tend to his innate ability while others do not. At birth, all
humans are manipulative. The ability to use other people for your own gain
comes inbuilt for your own survival because as an infant there is nothing else
you can do other than depend on others. At a certain age, you are expected to
have outgrown this need and become self-sufficient. For some people, however,
this does not happen. Or at least, they do not want this to happen. And why
should they? It is only part of their human nature to want other people to do
things for them.
Chronic manipulators have mastered the art of applying manipulation in their
everyday lives to the point where it is the default setting. It is important to note
however that chronic manipulation may also occur where there is an underlying
mental illness such as borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality
disorder. In instances where manipulation is motivated by mental illness, there is
a very high probability of the victim getting hurt. In such instances, the
manipulator’s agenda ceases to be about having an advantage and turns into
having the advantage at whatever costs. The dark desire to have power over
others can cause people who have personality disorders and other mental issues
to exercise excess manipulative power over others. This is best illustrated in a
1938 British play known as Gas Light which was later adapted into a film. In the
play, a man convinces his wife that she is going insane when she suggests that
the gas light in their house dims from time to time. Jack, the man, manages to
get his wife to think that she is the problem and that her mind is insane, when in
fact he is only abusing her psychologically while trying to get away with murder.
It is from this play (and film adaptations) that the term gaslighting comes from.
Gaslighting refers to the practice of manipulating someone to the point where
they begin to doubt their own sanity. Individuals who gaslight others are highly
manipulative and unbothered by the fact that they are placing the other person in
the way of emotional and psychological harm.
While this book delves deep into manipulation tactics and techniques, it does not
advocate for the harming of others. You can get what you want from other
people by manipulating them without necessarily harming them or abusing them
psychologically. You can manipulate your way to success without causing failure
to others. You can also manipulate someone into falling in love with you and
have a happy and successful relationship thereafter. In short, you can get what
you want and make people feel really good about themselves all at once.
The reason why manipulation gets such a bad rap is because people often
associate it with terrible outcomes and sad endings. Nobody needs to die at the
end of this story. You can manipulate your way to a happy ending. After all, you
are being manipulated every day yourself. Learning how to manipulate others is
just a simple way of gaining back the control that you have seemingly lost in
your life.
Simple Ways You’re Getting Manipulated Every day
and How to Turn Things Around

Flattery

Everybody loves getting compliments. Even when you know you’re looking
your best and do not really require any validation from anybody else, a strategic
compliment is always welcome. Hearing that your carefully selected outfit looks
just as amazing as you had envisioned it and that your shoes are worth the $100
you spent on them is often music to the ears. In short, a simple compliment can
perk up an otherwise dull day and put a spring in your step. While most people
pay compliments innocently with no hidden motives, there are tons of
manipulators out there who use flattery as a way of influencing your thoughts
and behavior.

Flattery is one of the simplest yet most effective tools of the manipulator.
Flattery is effective in getting the manipulator what they want from their victim
because it appeals to the victim’s idealized self-image. In the simplest terms, an
idealized self-image is the image of your own perfection that you have in your
mind. Many people create this image of perfection in their minds in order to
avoid facing the unhappiness that comes with confronting their shortcomings
and flaws. Take, for instance, let’s say you are a dancer. You are not a very good
dancer; you’re average at best. However, this is not what you believe in your
mind. You believe that you can rival the best of the best. Enter Manipulator X
who after watching your non-groundbreaking dance performance decides to
flatter you from here to Timbuktu. What happens next? Your ego and self-image
are inflated beyond reasonable proportions. You become softer to any demands
that the manipulator might have because they’re saying all the things that you
need to hear. You’re ripe and open for manipulation without even knowing it.

Human beings have been created in such a way that more often than not you’re
want to repay a nice deed with another nice deed. What this means is that when
someone flatters you (whether constantly or as a one-off event), you’ll feel
indebted to return a favor so that the human transaction can be square. This is the
reason why you’ll feel almost compelled to pay someone a compliment back
when they give you one.

Nice shoes, they say.

Oh, thanks, I love your shirt, you reply.

This is all part of being human. Manipulators know and understand this. They
use flattery to indebt you. Sooner than later, you find yourself heavily in debt,
and there’s only one way to extricate yourself: paying back behaviorally. If
someone is constantly telling you that your hair looks great and that you have a
lovely smile, you might find it harder to say no to their request to do something
that you would ordinarily not be open to doing.

This is not to mean that everyone that compliments you is looking to get
something from you. There are some few and far between kind people who will
pay you a compliment just because they like something about you and felt the
need to mention it, with absolutely no hidden agenda. Often, the simplest way to
recognize whether a compliment is sincere or an attempt at manipulation is to
check whether the compliment is accompanied by a behavioral request or favor.
If your co-worker tells you that your shoes are nice and walks away, they
probably meant it as an innocent compliment. If another co-worker compliments
the same shoes and asks you to help them organize some documents in the filing
room, you’re probably being manipulated.
Looking back, you can probably recognize the instances where you have been
manipulated through flattery. In some instances, this may have been harmless
while other instances might have cost you a great deal of time, money and even
emotion. The trick to turning tables around is by identifying the root cause of
your desire for validation and then working your way around this.
We began by saying that an idealized self-image has a lot to do with your hunger
for validation. The best way to undo this hunger is to build healthy self-
confidence in a way that is cognizant of your realistic abilities and accepting of
your flaws. When you have healthily high-self-esteem, you will not eat up
anything and everything that you are offered and then find yourself in a fix
because you now feel that you owe the other party something. You will be
comfortable enough to graciously accept the compliment without being cocky
and then send the (potentially) offending party on their way. And now that you
know their game, you can turn it around on its head and use it to your own
advantage.

Next time you need something from someone, try playing nice. Figure out
something they like about themselves, and they hype them up about it. You will
have a better chance of succeeding in your exploits with this person if you first
make them feel good about themselves. Be careful though--you never want to
come across as insincere. If someone is wearing the most god-awful pair of
shoes that you have ever seen, do not pay them an insincere compliment.
Insincerity stinks. It will show on your face and in the tone of your voice during
delivery. The person receiving the compliment might even think you are making
fun of them. This is the quickest way to lose your credibility as a trustworthy
person.

Lying and Deception

Most people have told a lie or two. Sometimes, one has to tell a harmless fib
here and there for the sake of peace. When the missus asks whether those jeans
make her look fat, the last thing you’ll do is answer in the affirmative--even
when this is the correct answer. White lies are excusable. When it comes to
manipulators, the lies are a bit more colorful. Manipulators often lie because
they can, and not always because they need to. They lie about everything and
anything. They lie so that they can throw you off and remain in control, and one
step ahead of you. They’ll tell big lies and small lies; simple lies, and complex
lies. Manipulators will keep a lie going for a week, a month or several years,
until they get caught. They often have no intention of coming clean, ever. Even
when they get caught, manipulators will continue to lie in a bid to get themselves
out of the difficult situation of getting caught. The lies of a manipulator simply
do not come to an end.

There are various ways through which a person may lie. One of these is an
omission. Lying by omission is a preferred tactic used by manipulators since it
allows one to place the blame on the victim. This is because the manipulator can
always claim that they did not tell a particular truth because nobody demanded
it. Leaving out bits of information amounts to lying. Being selective with the
truth is the same thing as lying because it creates an alternate story that is
contrary to reality. This alternate reality is precisely what a manipulator is
looking to achieve with their lies.
Another form of lying is through the use of vagueness. A manipulator may tell
you the truth regarding a certain matter but give you such vague details that
you’re left in the dark more than you are enlightened. The extreme contrast of
vagueness is intense specificity. Specificity works this way: ask your
manipulative friend a simple question that requires a yes or no answer, and they
launch into an hour-long explanation that does not seem to have a definitive start
or end. What your friend is trying to do is drown you in the details so that you
are none the wiser about your earlier concern. This form of lying can easily go
undetected because in the tirade of answers, you’ll catch a few or several truths
and you start to get convinced that your friend is telling the truth. If by the end of
your friend’s rant you still do not have the answer to your original question, you
are being manipulated.

While honesty is the best policy, you will not always have the best results when
you lay your soul bare to everyone. In situations such as the workplace, being
too forthcoming with personal information can work to your detriment. Instead,
you should aim to serve the truth in small portions and where possible stretch it a
little. If your boss asks you how you like your new role as office manager, do not
rush to pour your heart out and complain about every little thing. You might
come across as the kind of employee that the company would be better off
without. Instead, let your boss know how much you appreciate the role and how
exciting it has been to learn all the new things that you have learned about the
company (even though it has not been exciting). Adopting this approach will
make you a much more likable employee as far as your boss is concerned and
will make life easier for you in your new company.
When it comes to relationships, a well-placed lie can save your union from
crumbling. Relationships are particularly tricky when it comes to honesty and
lying because while you want to stay honest with your partner, too much honesty
can be counterproductive. For example, should you be forthcoming with a past
indiscretion when you know that your partner considers cheating of whatever
kind a deal breaker? When you have met your soulmate who believes one should
not have more than five sexual partners in their past, should you go ahead and let
them know that your number is higher than that? In such instances, it is
important to consider what would be the most ideal and favorable outcome for
you. You are not lying to your partner. You are simply looking out for yourself.

If you want to utilize lies to further your agenda successfully, you have to know
how to tell a good lie, whatever kind of lie that may be. Lying is an art form, and
you need to be committed to the art. Here are some quick truths on how to tell a
good lie that will not come back to bite you in your assumptions:

Plan your lie diligently

For anything to succeed, there must be some proper planning done beforehand.
The same applies to lying. In order to lie effectively, you need to get some work
done before you actually tell the lie. One of the things you’ll need to do in
preparation is to determine the reason for the lie. If you get into the habit of
lying for the sake of lying, you’ll get caught in your lies very easily. However, if
you are lying for a good reason, you’ll often find yourself getting away with it.
Pathological liars who lie left right and center often get caught in the web of
their lies. This is not something that you want happening to you because then
you’ll start to look like a crazy person whose entire life is a lie. Before lying, ask
yourself whether there is something for you to gain from the lie. If the benefit is
significant to you, proceed with the lie. If not, forego the lie.

Something else that you need to plan beforehand is the entire story you are going
to weave around your lie. Do not wait until you are getting interrogated to figure
out your story. Have a solid story from start to finish so that you can work with
this right from the beginning. Practice this story before you tell it for the first
time so that when you finally tell the lie, you will not be stumbling over your
words.
Bend the truth without going overboard
If you want to be successful with your lies, you have to draw the line between
the believable and the outrightly unrealistic. Crossing this line will mean the
difference between influencing people while getting them to do what you want
and looking like a clown. Telling an outrageous lie will only draw attention to
the fact that you cannot be trusted to tell the truth. This is the quickest way to
lose your power of manipulation. For instance, claiming that you had dinner with
your celebrity crush in a far-flung island will only earn you disbelieving looks
and some snickering behind your back. A more believable version of this story
would be saying that you ran into your celebrity crush while you were out to
dinner with family. The second story is something that would fly by any logical
standards. It is an event that is within the realm of reality.
Know your audience

A good liar knows that a proper lie must be tailored to suit the audience that
hears it. In public speaking, good orators are taught that you must customize
every message that you sell to the public so that it resonates with the target
audience. If your audience can relate to the message, they are likely to buy
whatever it is that you are selling. The same case applies to lying and deception.
Unless you understand your audience, you will not be in a position to know what
makes them tick. Once you understand what matters to your audience, you can
tailor a befitting lie that will grab their attention for as long as you need it. This
is something that many cons have mastered.
Cons are so good at deception because they take time to know their target
properly, to the extent of having a ‘customer profile’ of their audience. This
ensures that the cons are armed with the knowledge of which buttons to press,
and when. For instance, if a con person is targeting an individual who is
passionate about real estate, they will have to come up with an elaborate lie
about their various thriving investments in real estate. If they approach the same
individual with a story about investing in the beauty business, they will not have
that individual’s attention for a very long time. You must properly understand the
person you are lying to before you even get started on lying to them. Your liar
friend probably knows this, and it explains why they took time to get to know
you properly before trying to trap you into a pyramid scheme that they knew
would wipe your savings clean.

Do not involve anyone else in telling your lie

What this means is that you should not go around announcing your deceptive
exploits to all and sundry. After successfully telling your first lie, you might find
yourself reeling with excitement and feeling an urge to share your success with a
confidant. Telling on yourself is the easiest way to get caught. The best liars
know not to trust anyone and will cling onto their lies to the last of their breaths
without confessing anything to anyone. Not involving other people in your lies
also means that you should not include anyone who might blow your cover in
your story. Remember the story about having dinner and then running into your
celebrity crush? Do not make up a lie that involves having dinner with a friend
and then running into your celebrity crush because chances are high that this
friend will sell you out once the pressure of interrogation is on. Simply, do not
involve other people in your lies. You can only depend on yourself to tell your
lie successfully.

Write down the lie

Lying is a lot of hard work. There is a lot of remembering to do, some of which
might not be possible if you just rely on your own memory. The reason why a lot
of people get caught lying is because they cannot remember the first lie they
told, so they keep changing the story. At the end of it all, the people they have
lied to get together and compare notes and the liar is outed as exactly what they
are. If you are worried that you will not remember all your lies, keep a notebook
and jot down notes to jog your memory. Make sure that nobody else besides you
has access to this notebook because you really do not want anybody else getting
their hands on your treasure trove of lies.
Commit to the lie

Unwavering dedication to a lie will help you see your lie through to maturity.
The bad liars of this world do not like lying. They find lying unpleasant and will
more often than not quickly take up the chance to change the topic to something
else. If you know a bad liar in your life, you have probably noticed that they do
not like being interrogated about their lies. They will give short answers to your
questions and then quickly change the subject to something else before they are
caught. The good liars of the world are the exact opposite. They are proud of the
fact that they can lie, and lie well, and will go on and on about what they are
lying about with unwavering dedication. They are focused and committed to
deceiving you and do not find it one bit disgusting. Experienced liars enjoy the
act of deception and will stretch out the lie for as long as it is necessary. If you
are hoping to become experienced in the art of deception, you must be
committed to the lie.

Align your body language to the lie

Sometimes, the lips can be saying one thing while your body says another.
Everyone has the tells that give them away when they are lying. It could be that
you fidget or gesture a lot when speaking about something that is untrue. Or
maybe you touch your nose and lick your lips when lying. Whatever it is that
you do, you have to be conscious of this and then find a way of ensuring it does
not give you away. You must train yourself to avoid the nonverbal cues that
typically give away a liar. For instance, a person who is not used to lying will
often break eye contact when telling a lie. Such a person cannot stand to look the
other party in the eye while they lie to them. If you want to get away with your
deception, you must maintain a healthy amount of eye contact with the person
you are lying to. It does not mean that you must stare unblinkingly at the person
you are talking to as this would be awkward; what you must do is carry on with
your eye contact as you would when speaking the truth.
Bribery

Bribery is perhaps one of the most blatant forms of manipulation because there
is often no question that the briber is trying to influence the decision of the other
party. There is no subtlety involved, and the mystery of flattery and lying is
foregone for a much colder transaction. When you bribe someone, you are
essentially buying your way with them. A person who has accepted a bribe is
compromised and will often not say no to your demands. In many jurisdictions
and most organizations, bribery is a crime that is punishable by law. This,
however, does not stop people from engaging in the act.

Often, bribery involves the exchange of material items for favors. People will
use cold cash, gifts, tips, discounts, donations, kickbacks, and even sweetheart
deals to arrive at favorable agreements. Bribery as a form of manipulation can
begin on either side of the equation: it might be initiated by the person who
needs the favor or the person who has to give the favor. When initiated by the
person who needs the favor, it is often done in a sly manner where the other
party finds themselves compromised without even anticipating it.

For instance, a political candidate might receive a significant donation from a

particular individual and accept this donation as a well-meant contribution. Later
on, the donor might call on the political candidate to change certain laws to favor
their business practices, for example. The political candidate might not
necessarily agree with these laws that need to be changed, but they will be
compelled to honor the donation they received and agree to the donor’s
demands. After all, they need the donor’s money the next time they go to the
ballot.

The downside of bribery is that it is one of those forms of manipulation that

often leaves a paper trail. If you bribe your way through a particular situation,
the evidence of your wrongdoing might come back later to bite you. At the same
time, bribery is not something you can execute if you do not have the material
resourcefulness that the other party wants. Granted, you can bribe your kids into
doing something with only a few dollars, but if you want bigger favors, you will
need to dig deeper in your pocket. That being said, bribery is also risky in that
there really is no written contract that the other party will honor your bribe. You
are relying solely on a gentleman’s agreement. If the other party decides to up
and leave with your cash, there is really not much that you can do. Also, if you
hold a public office or any other office in an organization where bribery is
looked down upon, engaging in the act could very easily damage your
reputation.

That being said, it is sometimes necessary to bribe someone to get your way out
of a fix. Sometimes it is just easier and faster to pay someone to do something
for you. If you do decide to go down this route, you will have to know how to
execute it flawlessly without any awkward moments in between. The first thing
you need to do when planning to grease someone’s palm is to decide whether the
situation calls for this specific action. Will giving the bribe now result in a need
for an incentive every time you need the specific task performed? Can you do
without the bribe? Will offering the bribe to this person make you look bad?
After answering these questions, you then need to be specific and clear about
what you need in exchange. The last thing you need to be when giving a bribe is
vague. The vagueness makes it harder for the other person to say yes because
they are not sure what exactly needs to be done, and it also makes it harder for
you to get what you want because you weren’t clear about it.
In many cases, there is more than one person that you can bribe, but only one
person is good enough for the job. Once you identify a person or a couple of
individuals who can help you do what you want, start thinking of the various
offers that these persons might respond to. Some people will do anything for
cash while others will prefer different offers. In the case of a family member
who is swamped by parenthood, an offer to babysit for a night or two might
make more sense than an offer of money. The last option you settle on should be
the person who will help you get what you want at the least cost.

Do not ever call a bribe by its name, as most people do not like to think of
themselves as corruptible. Most people would rather think of themselves as
perfect angels, even when they are not. Do not walk into someone’s house or
office and tell them that you have a bribe for them. Find a better name for it even
though you know that it is a bribe. You may call it a negotiation or compromise.
Sometimes, you might not even have to call it. Bribing someone with gifts over a
period of time creates a sense of indebtedness that makes them feel obliged to do
something in return in order to balance the transaction.

Chapter 3: Advanced Level Manipulation Methods
In the previous chapter, we explored the simple everyday techniques that
manipulators use. These techniques are easy to learn, and you have probably
used some of them before. For example, you have likely lied your way out of a
tricky situation or two. Our current chapter explores the more advanced methods
which require a little bit more skill and experience. Good manipulators start with
the simple methods first and then learn to incorporate the more complex
techniques in their manipulation. The more advanced methods may be harder to
notice, and you might have someone under your spell for a long time before they
clue in on what is actually happening to them.
Love Bombing

If you have heard of the term stink bomb and know what it is, then you probably
have an idea of what love bombing might be. In the simplest terms, love
bombing is a form of manipulation that involves showing someone a lot of
affection and adoration with the intention of influencing their behavior. The
origin of the term love bombing can be traced to the 1970s when members of the
Unification Church of the United States purportedly coined it to refer to the
intense affection showered upon each other and visitors. Back then, love
bombing was used as a positive phrase. Over the years, critics of the group and
psychologists alike have painted a different picture of love bombing, even
labeling it as the secret weapon of many narcissists and abusive partners.

So, how does love bombing work?

Just like a bomb goes off unexpectedly and instantly, love bombing works in the
very same way. A person who is trying to manipulate you through love bombing
will shower you with lots and lots of affection and attention soon after you meet,
or as soon as they need something for you. Love bombers will often come across
as the perfect partners, especially when the relationship is young and new. A
manipulative person who is looking to love bomb you will call you and text you
all day and every day, or as much as they think you want them to. They will
compliment everything about you and will pay attention to all your needs.
Expect to receive gifts and surprise visits left, right and center. You might find
yourself wondering how you got so lucky. Or you might find yourself feeling
overwhelmed because you are not used to this much attention. Whatever the case
may be, you should not get used to this affection and attention because it will not
last very long. Your manipulator is only using it to hook you.
The next stage in love bombing is where your manipulator does the exact
opposite of what they were initially doing. Instead of showers of praise, you will
now be subjected to unending torrents of criticism. Where once you felt like the
most valuable person in the individual’s life, you begin to question your own
self-worth. Essentially, the person has pulled the rug from under your feet and
now you are left confused and wondering where to go. What’s likely to happen if
you are unaware of what is happening (manipulation through love bombing) is
that you will start to seek validation from your manipulator. You will constantly
be seeking their approval in the big and small decisions and events of your life.
Gradually, you hand power over to the manipulator and allow them to influence
your behavior and decisions. This is a process that happens unknowingly
because you have been tricked into this situation. Perhaps the most tragic part of
love bombing is that the final stage is where your manipulator discards you after
you have outlived your value in their life.
You’re probably wondering whether you are being love bombed by someone in
your life right now. Here are some signs that should tell you whether you are
being manipulated through the love bombing tactic:
Everything is happening too quickly

While there’s such a thing as love at first sight, it’s also true that more often than
not rational people require sufficient time to develop real and deep love. If you
are on a second meeting and your date is already talking about being hopelessly
in love with you, you might want to proceed with caution. Yes, you are an
amazing human, and you deserve the very best that life has to offer. However,
you should be careful of anyone who tries to paint you as the most perfect
human ever to exist, especially if they have not known you long enough to make
such a conclusion. Love bombers will want to inflate your ego and self-image to
the point where you are high on the belief that you are perfect. Once you are
addicted to this high, the manipulator knows that they are in control and can
make you do whatever they please.

They want to be the superheroes in your story

The people in our lives come in handy in different ways. At the most
fundamental level, they provide companionship. Human beings are social
animals, and a good friend or two will go a long way in alleviating your
loneliness and providing some much-needed warmth in your life. When you are
in trouble, it is natural to turn to the people in your life to provide solutions for
these troubles. Your genuine friends will provide solutions and go on their merry
way because they know you’d have done the same for them is the situations
were reversed. A manipulator who wants to control you through love bombing
will help you because they want to have some control in your life. They want to
be the person that loved you so much that they came to your help. You’re the
damsel in distress, and they are the knight in shining armor. What the damsel
does not know is that they are racking up a debt in the eye of the manipulator
and very soon the manipulator will come to collect.

Watch out for relationships--be they casual, intimate or formal--where one

individual seems to always be running to the rescue and bringing up the fact long
after the matter has been resolved. You should also be keen to identify the
individuals who seem to always be looking out for ways to assist by asking
about the things that make you sad. They are bringing up the bad parts of your
life so that they can get a chance to make you happy and be the hero of the story.
This is what love bombing is all about.
You are constantly receiving gifts
Most people love getting gifts. It is not for no reason that gift giving ranks as one
of the love languages of the world. Getting a thoughtful gift from a loved one
can brighten up anyone’s day. In many cases, gifts are just that: gifts. In the
world of love bombing manipulators, gifts are debts. Every time you receive a
gift, you owe them something in return. If the new guy you met at the bar two
weeks ago has started sending gifts your way every day of the week, you might
want to put an end to it before he comes to collect. You can be sure he will not
be nice about it, and he will likely guilt trip you by suggesting that you should
not have accepted the gifts if you were not willing to give in to his demands.

It is important to note that love bombing does not just apply to romantic
encounters. Any situation where someone you barely know is doing too much to
show you how valuable you are qualifies as love bombing. Granted, there are
some socially awkward people who do not understand that relationships require
sufficient time to fully unfold, but those are few and far between. The majority
of people who rush to show you unprecedented adoration are typically
manipulators who are very well aware of exactly what they are doing.

How to successfully love bomb anyone before they love bomb you

Now that you understand what love bombing is, you’re probably wondering how
to do it to someone before they do it on you. While it is always better to pursue
genuine relationships that are mutually beneficial, you’ll find that these are often
few and far between. Most people are friends with other people because they get
something out of it. When you finally meet that person who thinks they can love
bomb you into gaining control over your life, you need to be one step ahead of
them.
When dealing with someone who is manipulative, the key is to always mirror
their actions. When they compliment you, compliment them back. When they
buy you gifts, buy them something in return. Before long, you will be dancing
the love bomb tango, and you will be well on your way to getting what you
want. It is important that you determine whether what you want is worth the
effort you will be putting into love bombing this person. Manipulation requires
concerted time and effort. Manipulation does not occur overnight. You have to
make sure that the benefits outweigh the cost. Otherwise you are investing too
much for nothing in return. Once you figure out what you stand to gain by love
bombing a particular person, you are free to go all out in your bid to showcase
how important, perfect and loved that person is, at least from where you stand.
Foot-in-the-door technique

The foot-in-the-door technique is yet another tactic that seasoned manipulators

use to gain control over their victims. The premise of the foot-in-the-door
technique is that people are more likely to agree to a more demanding request if
they have first established rapport by responding to a smaller request. Most
rational people have boundaries on what they are willing to do for complete
strangers or otherwise as far as their generosity goes. If you walk up to a stranger
and ask them to give you a significant amount of money for free, the resounding
answer will often be no. This is because this is a significant, if not outrightly
unreasonable, request. However, if you walk up to a stranger and ask them for a
simple donation to a charity of your choice, this stranger will most likely agree
to your request. This is because there is a big difference between the two
requests and the nature of the relationship you have with the stranger determines
the miles they are willing to walk for you. If you have built a better bond with
this stranger, they might consider giving you a bigger check next time you ask.

The foot-in-the-door technique was demonstrated to be effective by a study

conducted in the 1960s by the Stanford University researchers named Jonathan
Freedman and Scott Fraser. In their study, Freedman and Fraser sampled a group
of 100 plus stay-at-home moms (then referred to as ‘housewives’) and divided
these into four groups. The first three groups were contacted with a simple
request to provide an inventory of their household products over the phone. The
fourth group did not receive this small request.
After the initial request, Freedman and Fraser proceeded to ask the groups of
women whether they would allow a group of men into their homes to take a
physical inventory of the said household products. It was noted that the groups
that had gotten the earlier smaller request were more likely to agree to the more
demanding request of allowing strange men into their homes for stock take. The
reason for this is that the research team had already established a bond with the
stay-at-home moms, and the latter group almost felt obliged to honor this bond
and keep saying yes to the request.

In terms of human psychology, the foot-in-the-door can be explained this way:

most people hate saying no to requests, especially when these requests come
from people that they are familiar with. Think back to the last time that someone
you know asked you for something. What was your response? If you said yes,
how did it make you feel? You likely felt charitable and useful in that you were
able to alleviate a need that the other person had. If you said no, and you should
if you have reasons to, you probably did not feel very good about it afterward. It
is human nature to want to help and avoid confrontation. If you help people, you
are more likely to perceive yourself as a good person who does good deeds for
the well-being of others. The theory of self-perception has been explained in
detail by a social psychologist named Daryl Bem, who in the simplest terms put
forward the argument that we are what we do, or at the very least, we think we
are what we do. As such, the foot-in-the-door technique rides on the fact that
most people want to think they are good people and will go to great lengths to do
what they consider good, so that they may appear as so.

The foot-in-the-door technique, abbreviated FITD, is a tactic that is often used

by salespersons all over the world. The work of a salesperson involves a whole
lot of persuasion and manipulation. Most people do not set out of their houses in
the morning with the intention of purchasing anything unless they had already
planned for it. This holds true for the majority of the population with the
exception of impulse buyers. As such, the work of a salesperson lies largely in
convincing a person that they need to buy a product, even though this may not
necessarily be the case. Enter FITD.

Suppose you were walking in a mall one Friday afternoon and this salesman
walked up to you with a product that they wanted to sell to you. If the product is
highly priced, you’ll most likely wave the salesman away because this is a
stranger asking for too much, and you are not obliged to buy. If the salesman is
smart and experienced though, they might guilt you into buying the product by
first offering a sample. Once you have partaken in the sample, you will feel a
sense of indebtedness to the salesman. You are more likely to consider making a
purchase after getting a taste of the sample.
It is not just salespersons that have perfected the art of using the FITD technique.
Charities and other non-profit organizations have realized that they are likely to
get more donations if they first start with a smaller ask. For instance, a charity
organization might request for donations of $5 for a particular cause, and then,
later on, ask the donors if they’d like to increase this amount. When approached
in this manner, many donors are likely to agree to this increment as opposed to
asking for an outright huge figure straight away.

The extreme opposite of the foot-in-the-door technique is referred to as the door-

in-the-face technique or DITF for short. The door-in-the-face method involves
asking for a huge favor and then downsizing this to a smaller request. This way,
the person you are asking will think that you are willing to compromise and will
also be likely to compromise and accept your request. The idea is to have an
initial request that is huge and unreasonable that the other party must turn it
down. They will metaphorically slam the door in your face and refuse your
request. You will thereafter proceed to (again metaphorically) knock on the door
with a lesser request which the other party will feel is a more reasonable ask that
they can accommodate.

How to be successful with the FITD and DITF techniques

There are various occasions where you can apply the foot-in-the-door and door-
in-the-face techniques. You might make use of these methods when negotiating
with your boss for a raise or when you need a colleague to do you a favor. You
could also use these techniques in your personal relationships with your friends
and family. There is always an opportunity to get what you want if you play your
cards right. In order for the FITD and DITF techniques to be successful, you
have to ensure that you get some facts right.

For starters, you have to determine what constitutes a small, reasonable request.
Small is relative, and what may be reasonable to one person might be completely
unreasonable to another. Unless you are working with a group of people who
have similar priorities, you might find yourself having to readjust your request to
fit a specific individual. For instance, a supervisor at work might be hoping to
get the employees to put in some additional hours for the benefit of the company.
For some employees, an appropriately reasonable request might be staying on
after working hours while others would prefer coming in earlier than usual. You
must understand what will fly as a reasonable request and then position this
appropriately.

The same logic applies to when you are determining what is a huge request that
is likely to be turned down. If you are using the door-in-the-face technique and
the person you are speaking to somehow miraculously agrees to the request, you
can consider yourself very lucky and abandon your techniques, until another
time. Or you might want to push the envelope and escalate to an even bigger ask
and see how much the other person is willing to offer you.

After making your initial request, you will then follow this up with a larger
request (in the case of FITD) or a smaller request (in the case of DITF). In
everyday conversation, this typically happens immediately after the first request
has been accepted or turned down.

Examples of foot-in-the-door technique in real life

Example #1

You run a YouTube channel where you talk about your passion for cooking and
all things pastry. At the end of every video, you ask your viewers to subscribe to
your channel. You realize that your subscriber numbers have grown, so now you
start asking for your subscribers to share your channel with their friends. Before
long, you have a project you are undertaking and start asking for donations.
(Your requests are becoming bigger and bigger. The community you have built
around you and the relationship you have with them ensures that your requests
are likely to be honored than turned down).
Example #2

You notice your colleague going to the printers. You had sent some documents to
the printing room that you need collected. You ask your colleague whether she
would do you the favor of collecting said document from the printing room.
Your colleague says yes. You follow this up with another request--could she also
please drop the printed document at the mailroom for delivery to the client? Your
colleague shrugs and says yes. Since she said yes to your first request, she might
as well say yes to the second. She’s a good person and is just helping out a
colleague, she thinks to herself as she walks away.
Example #3

A manipulative son who would rather spend the day drinking and doing drugs
instead of looking for a job decides to ask his mother for a loan. At first, it is
only $500. It is for groceries and other utility bills, he tells his mother. His
mother takes pity on her son and wires the $500 the next day. Two weeks later,
the son has another emergency. This time he needs $1000. The mother shrugs.
This is her dear son who has come by tough times, she argues. She already
helped with the $500. She might as well help with the $1000. After all, he did
promise that it was a loan that he would pay back. She sends him the $1000.
(Whether he repays the money or not is a story for another day).
Examples of door-in-the-face technique in real life

Example #1
You have been dating your boyfriend for five years and your anniversary is
coming up in a couple of weeks. Your boyfriend is not the kind of partner that
plans romantic surprises. Instead, he prefers to plan well in advance and with
your input. He asks you where you’d like to go to celebrate for your anniversary.
You know exactly where you’d like to go, but you also know that he will say that
particular place is expensive. So, you mention that you’d like a trip to Bali
because you’ve always wanted to go there. Unfortunately, Bali is not in the cards
for you because your finances are not aligned with the destination. You, being
the good girlfriend that you are, agree to go to place X which is where you
initially wanted. You’re happy, and your boyfriend is happy because he has said
yes to you after turning down your initial request. You just used the door-in-the-
face technique to get the anniversary gift of your dreams.

Example #2

You have been working at your company for two years now and feel that it is
about time you got a raise. You work up your confidence and head into your
boss’s office. You want a 5% raise, but that is not what you ask for when you
walk in. At first, you make a request that you know your boss will turn down:
you want your annual salary increased by 15%. Your boss says no, and you
negotiate down to 5%. You leave the boss’ office happy and wishing that you
had asked for the raise earlier.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Mirroring
Technique

In the world of psychology, there is a phenomenon referred to as neuro-linguistic

programming or NLP for short. The premise of NLP is that you can program
yourself and other people to create a connection between your mind and sense
(or the nervous system), language and behavior. In short, you can control your
subconscious mind and the subconscious minds of others through conscious
action. NLP techniques are designed to help you gain control over other people’s
minds without them noticing. In order to better understand neuro-linguistic
programming, it is important to look at the core areas touched by this model.

Neuro-

The neuro part of the NLP refers to the nervous system. The nervous system is
composed of the mind and our senses. Your nervous system is what helps you
make sense of the world when interacting with it. The way you interact with
your environment influences the way your nervous system functions. For
instance, if you listen more keenly, you are more likely to understand what is
being said. If you are more observant, you will see more things in your
immediate environment, including in the people around you.

Linguistic

This refers to language. Language does not just refer to whether you are
communicating in Spanish, Italian or English. Language is more complex than
that. Language also refers to the tone of voice, choice of words, and even speed
with which the speaker is communicating. Paying attention to all the aspects of
language will help you become a better communicator and understand people
more because you have more information at your disposal.

Programming

In the simplest terms, programming in NLP refers to the habits that we form. As
human beings, we condition ourselves in various ways. These ways become the
habits that we are used to. NLP teaches how to ensure that the habits you form
are useful and beneficial to you as a person in your life and in your everyday
interactions. Yes, you can consciously choose to have better habits as a person.
You only need to train your mind on how to pick up the good practices and keep
at it for a while. It has been said that it takes approximately 21 days to break a
habit and 66 days for a new one to be enmeshed in your psyche. With this in
mind, you can see that it is entirely possible to replace all your bad habits with
better ones.

The way you experience the world is different from the way the next person
experiences the same world, even though you are standing next to each other. By
applying neuro-linguistic programming, you can choose the reality you want for
yourself, and even influence other people’s realities without them ever noticing.
Neuro-linguistic programming relies on various techniques, including mirroring.

Mirroring is one of the simplest yet most effective NLP technique that you can
use to get what you want from people. As the name suggests, mirroring involves
mimicking the behaviors of the person you are communicating with in the most
subtle way, but with profound results. The person that you are mimicking must
not know what you are up to. If they do, you will not achieve any results, and
you might even earn a good slap on your face.
To effectively carry out the mirroring technique, you must first pay attention to
various aspects of the person that you intend to manipulate. The aspects in
question are their body language, vocabulary choice, speech patterns and even
the tone and tempo of their voice. These are what you will be mimicking with
the intention of getting what you want from this person. The objective of
mirroring is to create a rapport and a sense of sameness with the other person.
Often, fear manifests itself in us if we determine that something or someone is
different from who we are. In the absence of these differences, fear is also
absent. When someone does not feel fearful of you, they are open to you and
will most likely be open to doing what you require them to do. This might
perhaps be the reasoning behind the saying ‘when you go to Rome do as the
Romans do’. In manipulation terms, this would be: when in Rome, mirror the
Romans. There is an advantage to be gained when someone considers you to be
similar to them. If you travel to a foreign country, you are likely to be regarded
as less of a threat if you speak the local language. As often as you can, always
try to blend in with your target. Mirror them and make them less fearful of you.
Mirroring is an especially effective seduction technique that has earned many
people second dates and long-term relationships and everything in between.
Psychology says that when you like someone you tend to subconsciously mirror
their actions. When they touch their neck, you might find yourself touching
yours too. You probably will not notice this, and manipulation might be the last
thing on your mind at that point. However, you can use this well-known fact to
your advantage. Mirroring a potential sexual partner makes them feel that you
understand them. Once a person feels understood and not judged, they are open
with you and open to the possibility of being with you in a more intimate
manner. When it comes to seduction, it is important to note that mirroring does
not work on its own. You have to pepper it with some bits of flirtatious touching
otherwise you might find yourself firmly in the friend zone. The idea is to let the
other person know that you understand them while also making them aware of
the fact that you find them sexually attractive. You are sort of a therapist and a
lover all rolled into one.
The Illusion of Choice

The illusion of choice is a concept that states that human beings are happier if
they believe that they have control over their actions and decisions. Most people
do not like to be told or forced to do something in a way that leaves them with
no choice. For instance, an employee who is told to work overtime will likely be
resentful even though they were initially open to staying overtime on their own
will. If you force your kid to take swimming classes, they will attend the classes
sulkingly even if they actually like swimming. On the other hand, if you allow
the same kid to decide whether they want to go to swimming classes, they will
have a happier time at their classes. A great way of manipulating someone is by
presenting them with what seems like a choice, even though it is not really one.
This is the entire premise of the illusion of choice. You have to make people
think that they chose for themselves. Otherwise you will be faced with resentful
and rebellious individuals who are not eager to help you.


So, how does one successfully execute manipulation through the illusion of
choice?

The first thing you need to do is determine what you need this person to do for
you. Most manipulators have pre-determined targets and agenda even before
they do the actual groundwork of approaching their victims. Armed with this
information, approach your target and give them two or more options to choose
from, including what you actually need done. You should make sure the other
options are so unreasonable that they are likely to be rejected by whoever
receives them.

For example, if you are the boss, you might ask your staff whether they want to
work overtime on weekdays or come into work on Sundays. Most people will
prefer to work longer hours during the weekdays as opposed to coming to work
when they should be relaxing along, or with friends and family. At least, this is
what you are counting on. When you take on this approach, you are letting your
targets think that they have some control over the situation when in fact they do
not. You already knew what choice they would make and made it for them
beforehand--in making their “choice” they only agree to do what you already
knew that they had to do. This is how you get people to do what you need them
to do without seeming controlling. In their minds, you allowed them to choose;
in your mind, you know you did not.

If you have kids, the illusion of choice can be an especially effective tool at
getting them to do what you want. Kids--toddlers and teenagers alike--tend to
think that they are smarter than their parents and will want to argue out every
instruction that they are given. If you are struggling with this, consider
presenting your arguments as choices. Instead of telling your teenager to take
after-school swimming classes, ask them whether they would like to go to dance
class or swimming class. You will see them trying to figure out this decision
because in their minds they are in control and about to make a big decision. In
your mind, you already know that your teenager has two left feet and would
never step in a dance class, and the only sensible option would be the swimming
classes. There will be a lot less yelling in your house if you use this approach to
get your kids to do what you want. At the same time, you will be teaching them
a thing or two about decision-making and independence. It’s a win-win for
everyone.
Guilt-tripping and Punishment

Guilt is one of those emotions that has been labeled as useless, and yet it
continues to be an effective tool for the manipulator. Nobody is born with the
emotion of guilt. Instead, guilt is a reaction that is learned over time. In the case
of manipulators, guilt is effective in making targets do the bidding of the
manipulator. It is such a powerful tool because it is something that the target
carries with them even in the absence of the manipulator. The manipulator just
needs to plant the seed of guilt in the target and let the seed grow until the target
acquiesces to their demands. In many cases, the manipulator will set an
expectation that the target has to live up to. If this expectation is not met, the
guilt-tripping commences. Often, the manipulator will bring up instances where
he has been ‘well-meaning’ and ‘helpful’ to the target and then wonder out loud
why the target finds it so hard to do the same for him.

If you are looking to guilt-trip someone into getting what you want, you must
first understand the very important components of a guilt trip, which include:

you must first determine that the other person cares about you enough
to be bothered by the fact that you feel hurt or disappointed. Guilt-
tripping will never work with someone who does not hold you in high
regard.
play the victim role to perfection. Bring up other instances where this
person has let you down in the past. Be dramatic about it. Even if you
only felt some slight disappointment, make it seem as if you have
never been so disappointed before.

guilt-trip only when you have the upper hand. That is, you should not
be quick to take someone on a guilt trip if you have done something
they can use against you in the near past. For instance, if you catch
your partner cheating, you cannot guilt trip them if you were caught
cheating the previous month. (This is just an example; if you are both
constantly cheating you might want to count your losses and move
on).
remind the person of how good you have been to them, so that they
feel even more guilty, and as if they are in great debt and need to
repay your good deeds. Human beings are wired to want to repay the
good deeds done to them, and more so when they feel guilty.
do not allow yourself to be guilt-tripped in return. If the other person
brings up any wrongdoing on your part, deflect this attempt and deny
any accusations that they might have. You might even want to be a bit
more dramatic and say that you cannot believe they would accuse you
of such a thing. You’re the good guy here--so you need to play that
role to the end.
stir up negative emotions in the other person. Such emotions include
sadness, anger, and even pity. When faced with these emotions, the
 other party is likely to want to replace them with more positive
reactions. They will do this subconsciously as it is human nature.
More often than not, you will get what you want because the other
person is in pursuit of happier emotions such as joy, relief, and even
pride.
When guilt-tripping does not work, you can resort to punishing the other person
to get what you want. (In itself, guilt-tripping is a form of punishment). There
are various other forms of punishment including the silent treatment and even
withdrawal of favors and privileges. When a person that cares about your
opinion of them gets punished, they will want to cease the punishment
immediately by getting back in your good books. When you have such a person
pining for your grace, you can get them to do whatever they want.

It is important to note that punishment may also be physical or verbal. You can
punish someone by lashing out to them verbally or physically. However, this is
the absolute form of punishment and should never be meted out on others. Not
only is hurting other people in such an inhuman and immoral way, it could also
land you in very big trouble. People who resort to physical punishment are often
weaklings who do not have the mental ability to subtly influence others. Physical
violence is never the answer--whether you are interacting with loved ones or
acquaintances. The only time when violence is allowed is when you are
disarming a burglar who just broke into your house.

Chapter 4: Becoming a Master Manipulator
Besides understanding and implementing the simple and advanced manipulation
techniques discussed in the previous chapters, there are other things you must do
to become a master manipulator. The way you package yourself is crucial to
achieving success when it comes to manipulation. As far as manipulation goes,
first impressions matter a whole lot. You must come across as someone who is
worthy of getting whatever it is that they want to get out of their manipulative
exploits. There are people in this world who have packaged themselves for
success by the way they look, talk, dress, walk and such like. This is how you
must package yourself if you wish to become successful at manipulating the
people around you. In this chapter, we explore the simple ways that you can
differentiate yourself from the crowd and stand a better chance of getting what
you want out of life and people.

Be a good listener

You will never learn what you need to know about people if you never listen to
what they have to say. When you are a good listener, people trust you because
they know you take them and what they have to say seriously. Being a good
listener is quite easily one of the simplest ways to gain trust, which is a weapon
that every manipulator needs. Once someone has given you their trust, you are
halfway to winning them over with any requests that you might have. There are
several qualities that distinguish between a good and a poor listener.
Good listeners:

pay attention to the person that is speaking without paying any mind
to distractions such as cellphones
maintain eye contact
 allow the person to speak without interrupting
ask follow-up questions to encourage the other person to continue
sharing

listen to understand, and not to respond ...

...but when they respond, they do so appropriately and empathetically
Besides the qualities listed above, you can also work on other aspects of
conversation with the intent of becoming a good listener. For instance, not only
do you need to pay attention to what the other person is saying but you must also
be mindful of what they are not saying. That is, you must watch out for the
nonverbal cues in terms of their body language, tone of voice, gestures and facial
expressions. A person might say that they are fine, but their facial expression
says they are in pain and in need of reassurance. Being aware of this conflict in
what they are saying versus what they are actually feeling and stepping in to help
establishes a trusting relationship between the two of you.

To become a better listener (or at least come across as so), you must also practice
the mirroring technique in your conversations. For more details on this, see
chapter 3 where neuro-linguistic programming has been discussed in depth.

While you might not necessarily be very interested in what the other person has
to say and are only looking for them to stop talking so that you can advance your
agenda, this must never show on your face. Disinterest kills trust. If a person
realizes that you are ingenuine in your sympathy, they will not be willing to open
up to you again. You will have lost their trust and in essence, your power over
them. If you feel your eyes glazing over as the person continues to speak and
speak, consider interjecting politely with a reassuring, warm hug or kind words.
This will allow you a breather so that you can restart the conversation afresh.

As mentioned before, being a good listener enables you to gain the trust of the
other person. But that is not all. There are various other ways in which being a
good listener is beneficial to the manipulator, including allowing you to gather
important information about a person. Such information includes knowing what
they care about and what is important to them. Once you know what matters to
someone, you can manipulate them as long as you dangle their priorities like the
proverbial carrot.

Turn your flirt on

Flirting is an art form that will never go out of style. When two people flirt, they
are engaging in a sort of mating dance whose outcome is still unknown. When is
the last time you flirted? How did it make you feel? For some people, being
flirty comes naturally and effortlessly. For others, a lot more effort is required.
Regardless of the category that you fall in, you will need to pay attention to
flirting and how it can help you get access to the things you want in your life.
First things first, what is the big deal about flirting? Even before going into the
science of it, flirting is fun. Getting this kind of attention from an attractive
stranger or even a long term lover feels good and is something that you more
likely to appreciate than not. The science behind it is just as simple: flirting is the
best way to say you are attracted to someone without actually saying the words.
By creating an image in their head (that they are attractive), you create an
expectation that they have to live up to. Essentially, you are manipulating them
into being an attractive person and doing attractive things such as being
charming and agreeable. This is more so if the other person is attracted to you
and feels a need to be liked by you, or at least come across as fun and easy-
going. Flirting releases feel-good hormones which make the other person more
receptive to you and your ideas and demands. If you up the ante with some
physical contact, you will be well on your way to getting exactly what you want
from this other person. Later on, in this chapter, you will read why physical
contact is such a powerful tool that can be applied to various scenarios in your
daily life.
Unfortunately, flirting doesn't always come easily to everyone. When executed
incorrectly, flirting can be painfully awkward. Flirting is a delicate balance of
letting the other person know that you find them attractive without coming on
too strongly to the extent of making them uncomfortable. There is a proper way
and an improper way to flirt. Here’s how to flirt properly:

Make sufficient eye contact with the other person. Gazing into
another person’s eyes without being creepy gets half the work done. It
really is true that the eyes are the windows of the soul. Make sure you
make good use of these windows to gain access to the things you
want.
Smile. Give your best smile and it will more often than not be
reciprocated.

Talk about yourself without revealing too much because you do not
want to come across as the self-absorbed jerk that likes to listen to
himself talk about himself.
Compliment the other person--appeal to their idealized self-image
Use the power of physical contact by gently touching the other
person’s safe zone--their upper arm
Use your body language to communicate that you are interested in
what the other person has to say--this makes them feel important
Be sexual without being overbearing--do not use crude jokes and
inappropriate humor
If you must use cheesy pick-up lines, make sure that these are
delivered flawlessly and charmingly
Maintain a distance that allows you to be close enough to the other
person without excessively intruding on their personal space--your
noses do not need to be touching, but you should be close enough to
 make subtle physical contact

Communicate well and effectively

Whether you are flirting or making a presentation in front of a potential client,

communication is crucial. The way you communicate is part of the process of
getting people to trust you. While some people seem to have been born with
superior public-speaking and communication skills, you can still learn on the
job. One of the simpler ways to become a more effective communicator is by
learning your audience. Once you understand who you are speaking to, you can
tailor your communication style and message to suit your listeners.

If you want to influence others, you must present your message in a manner that
is easily understood, regardless of the extent of your vocabulary. Communicating
effectively does not mean that you have to oversimplify your messaging, but you
also do not have to bombard your audience with all the big words that you know.
Let the person you are speaking to know that you know what you are talking
about by breaking down big concepts into understandable bits. Watch out for
your gesticulation. Do not let your hands and arms get carried away as it might
take away from the objective of your message. Listen to how your audience is
responding to you both verbally and non-verbally. You can tell a lot just by
looking at someone’s face. If their eyes are opening and shutting you are
probably not doing a very good job at this manipulation thing. Also, remember
to remain human as you speak. A joke here and there lightens the mood and tells
your audience that you are a normal, human and relatable human being who is
not opposed to having a laugh from time to time.
If you find yourself fumbling with your words, consider first presenting the key
takeaway of your message and then break this down into smaller bits. This
approach is known as the Minto or McKinsey Pyramid Principle. In following
with the design of the pyramid, this principle has a heavy bottom and a lighter
top. This is because the idea is to have a main message and supporting details
underneath.

Master your emotions

Master manipulators are not at the mercy of their emotions. Instead, they have
learned how to master their emotions and be in control, thus allowing themselves
to think rationally while utilizing their mind instead of their feelings. If you are
not in control of your emotions, you’ll find yourself getting angry, sad and even
frustrated in the course of your relationships. Such loss of control will be
detrimental to your objective of having the upper hand. Learning how to control
your emotions is a process that requires time and practice. You will not wake up
one day and be a happy, confident person that never gets angry or sad. It is not
an overnight process.

To control your emotions, you will need a period of time to go through the
motions of recognizing your emotions and reigning in on them. Train yourself
not to react immediately and irrationally to every emotion that presents itself in
your life. Instead, step back and process this emotion by identifying what
triggered it and what solutions you can apply to alleviate this trigger. For
instance, if you get angry whenever someone makes a particular comment about
you, you might want to go back and understand why this comment upsets you so
much. Once you work on the root cause, you can thereafter start the process of
being unbothered by such a comment.
In certain other instances, you might want to think of your relationships as
business transactions where nothing should be taken personally. Detaching
yourself from people will mean having fewer emotions to deal with as you will
no longer be affected by their opinions about you. Instead, you will look at them
from a benefits point of view where you take what you need and then go on your
merry way. If you come across as the emotionally stable guy who can control
himself in any situation, people will begin to trust you a little bit better. This is a
handy advantage to have over others when you are trying to manipulate them
subtly.

Timing and opportunity

No matter how good of a manipulator you are, you will never be successful if
you do not get your timing right. There are instances where your tactics will not
work, and not because they are not good enough, but because your timing is off.
It is important to know when your target is more susceptible to manipulation,
and when they just do not have the time to deal with you. Identifying the right
opportunities will guarantee you far more success as opposed to going about the
process haphazardly. Why do you think retail stores have sales at particular times
of the month? They know that at this time their customers have the money and
are ready to be manipulated aka indulge in some shopping.

Choosing a time that is most convenient for your target will yield better results
for you. Consider this: you are trying to relax on the beach when this salesperson
comes to you trying to sell you something. What are you likely to say? If you are
a normal human being that likes their alone time and does not take well to
vacation intruders, you will send the salesperson on their merry way--complete
with a cuss word or two. What this salesperson does not know (besides proper
etiquette) is that they chose the very worst of times--a time that was not
convenient for you. As such, you will be looking to get rid of them and whatever
they have to sell as swiftly as possible.

There are times in the day when you are likely to hear “yes” more often than
“no”. It is important to identify these times and then work them to your
advantage. Sometimes, the issue of convenience is ignored, and it becomes a
matter of vulnerability. A person who is tired is less likely to put up a fight. A
boss who is rushing to catch a flight might be more inclined to say yes to your
question so that they can be done with you and head for the airport. When it
comes to timing and opportunity, you must balance the facts with your own
assessment of every individual situation.

Physical contact

Physical contact is one of the most powerful tools at the disposal of a human
being. A hug from a loved one, a pat on the back by a family member and even a
cuddle with someone you are close to can do wonders for the human spirit. Soft,
gentle, safe touch is healing to the human soul. It reassures the other party and
creates an emotional connection. The firm touch of a masseuse kneading away at
your tense muscles if rejuvenating. An innocent brush of the fingers with a
stranger or a date might be all you need to know whether they are the one or not.
When touched correctly, your body’s stress hormone (cortisol) levels reduce
while the happy hormones go up. You might not be aware of these fluctuating
hormones, but you will instantly feel happier and lighter when properly touched.
It is no wonder that merely hugging a loved one can take away all your worries
instantly. In this state of happiness--and less cortisol cruising around their body--
a person is not in flight or fight mode anymore and will likely comply with your
requests.
If you are trying to make someone feel safe and secure around you, to the point
where they can trust you, make use of the power of touch. There are different
types of touch. The type of touch you choose will depend on the type of
relationship you have with the other party. Seeing that touch is so powerful, it is
important to acknowledge the double-edged sword that it is. Your touch can
either make someone feel particularly comfortable around you or the exact
opposite. The last thing you want to do is creep someone out when all you are
trying to do is get them to agree to work your shift for you.

Here’s the proper way to use physical contact to your benefit:

Watch their body language for signs that your touch will be well-
received. Such signs include an upright posture coupled with a happy
or neutral facial expression. If the person has a negative facial
expression and seems to be hunched over, walk away. Such a person
will not take kindly to your touching.
There is a safe zone for touching someone that is not well-known to
you. This safe zone is the region between the elbow and shoulder.
Any touch within this area is likely to be well-received, especially if
you already determined that their body language is open to it.
Consider touching this safe zone while shaking the other person’s
hand, as it would be awkward to just walk up to someone and touch
their upper arm.
To properly touch someone, it must seem as if your action was
entirely unplanned and spontaneous. The last thing you need is
someone noticing that you planned to touch them because this would
come across as creepy and awkward. Make your technique so swift
and smooth that your touch comes and goes like a whisper in the
wind. Do not touch and linger; touch and let go, in the most seamless
execution that you can master. This is the difference between being a
charming and affectionate guy and being the creep that everyone
avoids.
Be confident when touching a person. People can tell if you are
insecure about what you are doing, and this not only puts them off,
but it also makes them incredibly uncomfortable. If you want to touch
someone in order to make them compliant with your request, go for it
without hesitation. Make it seem as if you have been touching people
all your life. Remember that lack of confidence can show itself in
your body language, so make sure you have taken care of this as well.
Stand tall and exude confidence--then touch your target.
Smile as you touch your target. By touching this person, you are
showing yourself to be open to them and willing them to be open to
you. The rest of your body must communicate this. Do not touch
someone while wearing a sour face, as this will come off as
aggressive. Smiling makes you look more warm, welcoming and
open, and your target will think that you are just a happy person who
likes to be affectionate.
Fear and Manipulation

Why is fear such an effective tool in manipulation? Why do companies like to

threaten you into compliance by asking you to buy something before stocks run
out when they know full well that they have an entire warehouse of products?
Why do manipulators like to instill fear in their victims? Fear is a negative
emotion whose presence in the body inhibits rational decision making. Here’s
why:

When you are scared, there are only two thoughts on your mind: fight or flight.
Nothing else. You really do not have the mind to start engaging in critical
thinking or anything of the sort. Being scared or anxious sends your body into
survival mode, and when you are in survival mode, you will choose one of two
options that make the most sense to you. The neuroscience behind this is critical
to understanding what makes fear such a favorite tool for manipulators. When
your entire bodily systems are in that flight-or-flight response mode, your critical
thinking circuitry is bypassed. In short, your brain does not have the intention to
start processing the tiny details at the moment. So, instead of utilizing the more
analytical neocortex to think, you rely on the primitive limbic system. Later on,
when you are in a more relaxed state, your critical thinking capability is
activated, and you start to wonder why you made that particular decision when
in fact there were other options to explore.

At all times, be careful of anyone who cries wolf. They might be trying to
distract you from the other options that are available to be explored in your
decision-making. At the same time, you must take advantage of the opportunity
presented by fear to influence other people. There are various ways of taking
advantage of fear in situations. For a start, you can exaggerate a situation and
make it seem far worse than it is. Let’s say you are a manager and you catch this
one employee skipping work without official leave. It’s a slow day anyway, and
there’s not much work to be done--but they know they should not be skipping
work, and you intend to take full advantage of this situation.
What to do? For a start, you need to make this seem like the biggest deal of the
century. How dare they hide from work and expect to receive a paycheck at the
end of the month? Do they know what would happen if this got to the other
bosses? You might even want to mention that they have put you in a really
awkward position by engaging in such a foolish act. Now that you have got your
employee shaking in their boots (assuming that they really need the job and the
paycheck) ask them whether they would be willing to work the weekend shift to
make up for this lost time, in exchange for a slap on the wrist. The employee will
most likely say yes. They have not had time to even come up with a good lie
because their minds are in flight or fight mode. You’ll then go on about your day
happily knowing full well that you do not have to work the weekend shift and
can instead spend the day doing what you truly enjoy.

Aside from exaggerating the truth, you can instill fear by spreading blatant lies.
This approach has worked since time immemorial and continues to be effective
to date. Using the same example of a manager, let’s assume you have noticed
that the employees are slacking in their duties, including coming in late for work
and generally being lazy. You have tried all means to motivate them, and nothing
seems to be working. What can you do? Consider this: find the one employee
with the loosest mouth and let it slip that there will be an impromptu
performance review by management sometime soon. This loose-lipped
employee will do the legwork for you and ensure that the entire rumor mill
knows what’s about to happen. You will begin to notice that your employees are
working harder and coming to work earlier because they are fearful of the
consequences of facing management.
Fear in manipulation works best where the party that is being manipulated stands
to lose or miss out on something. You must determine that whatever carrot you
are dangling in front of your victim is worth their attention. Otherwise there will
be no interest and consequently, no success in your manipulation efforts. If you
know what makes someone tick, you will always know what buttons to push to
make them fearful.

Chapter 5: The Rules of Manipulation
Every game has its own rules, and the case is no different when it comes to the
game of manipulation. For you to be successful at manipulation, you must
understand the techniques behind the game, and the rules that govern the game.
Manipulation takes years to perfect, and you can be certain that there are some
unspoken and unwritten rules that you have to follow if you want to get better at
it. These rules have been followed by some of the best manipulators to ever
exist, and with great results. In no particular order, here are the top rules of
manipulation that you need to be well-versed with:

Rule #1: You must define your target and read them well

Before you set out to influence someone with the intention of benefitting from
this persuasion, you must first understand whether that particular person fits the
bill correctly. Just as brands identify their target markets and create customer
profiles, you must equally identify your target and create a profile for them. This
way, you can easily find a person or persons that are well-placed to further the
agenda you have on your mind. Once you have found this particular person, you
must thereafter read them well to gauge whether they are catching any whiff of
your manipulation. If at all you notice that the other party is suspicious of your
intentions, count your losses and call it a day. Abandon ship immediately. The
last thing you want is someone who is distrusting of you from the get-go.

Rule #2: Do not sever relationships immediately after fulfilling your need

Nobody likes to feel used. If you are hoping to fly under the radar as far as your
manipulation goes, you must be willing to invest a little more of your time and
energy in relationships even after getting what you want. Consider the typical
example of a guy who woos a girl and makes her feel special and loved for all of
three months, only to sever all ties and cut communication after getting what he
was after. This guy manipulates the girl into giving up her cookie by letting her
think that he cares for her as a person and leaves immediately. The girl then
realizes that the guy manipulated and used her for his own benefit. She is hurt
and distrusting of the guy and will never allow him back in her life, that is if she
is smart enough. The downside of this approach is that the guy will never get a
chance to get what he wanted for a second time (should the need arise) and he
also damages his reputation among the girl’s circle of friends (meaning he loses
out on other opportunities). Guys who use this approach are often not very
experienced manipulators and think that they have an endless supply of potential
targets to fish from anyway. The truth is that anyone who is experienced in the
world of manipulation will tell you that you will go far if you operate
undetected.

It could be as simple as this--when you get whatever information that you

needed from someone, throw them off by asking a couple more inconsequential
questions. This hides your tracks, and they will be none the wiser once the
conversation has ended. In fact, they will not even remember the very important
details that they shared with you, because you hid this well in the middle of the
conversation.

Rule #3: Be as you wish to seem

People who carry themselves with an air of authority will often have authority
handed over to them. It is human nature to trust the alphas to lead the way. If you
present yourself as a person who can take a leadership role in their stride, this
leadership role will soon come to you. There are individuals who often seem to
get everything handed over to them. For some, this is pure luck. For many
others, they worked for it behind the scenes. Sometimes, you do not even have to
say anything to manipulate other people. Sometimes, your presence is enough. If
you package yourself correctly, your presence is enough to intimidate people
into giving you what you want.
If looking confident and ready to lead is not your forte, practice your confident
walk and confident pose in front of the mirror until you get it right. Leaders do
not walk while hunched over and seeming weighed by the burdens of the world.
Leaders have confident gaits and walk into rooms with their heads held high.
Considering that a lot of leaders have to be manipulative to get what they want
from everyone around them, you can learn a thing or two from the way they
carry themselves. Nobody said you have to be confident right away--you just
have to act as if you are. Act like you are in charge and very soon you will be in
charge. If you carry yourself as the manager-in-waiting in front of your boss,
very soon they will have no choice but to make you manager.

Rule #4: Do not get attached

The people who are highly skilled at manipulation know that getting attached
only complicates matters. It is more difficult to take advantage of a person that
you care about as opposed to someone you feel no emotional connection
towards. The reason why sociopaths have such an easy time manipulating their
victims is because they do not feel any sort of empathy or emotional connection
towards anybody. Once you start getting attached to a person, you will worry
about them and their well-being to the point where it becomes impossible to
manipulate them. Do yourself a favor and do not become attached to your target.

If you are not a sociopath, you might have a hard time staying detached.
Fortunately, there are tips you can use to ensure that you keep everyone who is a
potential victim at arm’s length until you get what you want, without them
knowing that they are actually being distanced. One of the things you will need
to do is ensure that you are not sharing the emotional aspects of yourself with the
other person. For instance, do not allow them to see you during your vulnerable
times unless you are putting on a show to advance your agenda. Do not open up
about who you really are to your target. Make them assume you are this other
person by sharing tidbits of yourself that are neither crucial nor even true. Stay
in control and never falter. This is the way you will stay detached thus allowing
yourself to gain the most from the relationship.

Rule #5: Trust no one

The whole point of manipulation is to win the other person’s trust to the extent
that they do what you want them to do for you. If you really want to be
successful in manipulation, you must ensure that you do not become the target of
manipulation unknowingly. This means that you must not trust anybody that you
come across, regardless of how legitimate they or their claims seem. Always
take everything you are told with a pinch of salt. Do not divulge your secrets to
anybody. If you feel overwhelmed carrying around secrets, go find a secluded
trail and shout the secrets out into the wind. Or write in a journal. Do not confide
in anybody about your manipulation exploits. This is how manipulators get
outed.

Rule #6: Do not get cocky

Just because you have manipulated two or more people into giving you what you
want does not mean that you can wiggle your way out of or into any situation as
you wish. True, a majority of people can be easily manipulated without knowing
it. However, thinking everyone is putty in your hands is only going to make you
less careful, and that’s how you get caught. Approach every situation as a
learning opportunity where you are gathering all information there is about a
particular person and environment before diving right into your manipulation.
People who think they are smarter than everyone else make dumb decisions
thinking they will not get caught. Do not copy-paste your tactics across multiple
people, especially when these are in close vicinity of each other. For instance, if
you are lying to get something out a person, do not duplicate the same lie to
someone in their social circle. If your car broke down last week and you did not
have the cash to repair it, it will begin to look suspicious if your car breaks again
and again for the next few weeks. In a situation where you are trying, for
instance, to get money from people, you will need to come up with something
original every time.

Rule #7: Educate yourself

This book has outlined various ways in which you can use the tools at your
disposal--such as physical touch and a charming smile--to get what you want.
These tools are effective and have served people since time immemorial.
However, you cannot rely solely on your looks or body to get what you want.
Yes, this works for some people, but it does not work for everyone. If you want
to be really good at manipulating people, invest in your education. Investing in
your education does not necessarily mean going back to college. Investing in
your education, in this case, refers to thirsting for knowledge. Many people who
have manipulated their way into history books (see Chapter 7 for further details)
had a good head on their shoulders. They made sure they learned the
environment and the people around them, and then went a step ahead and stayed
on top of important information and knowledge.
For instance, if you are trying to pass yourself off as a corporate guru, you must
learn how corporate works. You could do this by reading books, watching videos
or even making friends in the corporate world. People tend to trust smart people.
If you come across as slow or dumb, nobody is going to have the time to allow
themselves to be manipulated by you. Educate yourself so that you can know
your facts and know them well. Being smart is a confidence booster, and it also
confuses the people who are less smart than you. You can work these two angles
to get what you want from such people.

Rule #8: When caught, stop lying

Sometimes, people will catch on to your lies and start asking questions. Getting
caught in a lie can be very embarrassing, especially when your entire reputation
is at risk. For many liars, getting caught lying is an opportunity to lie some more.
This is however detrimental in many ways. For starters, you run the risk of
completely invalidating yourself and your legitimacy. Secondly, trying to defend
yourself from a lie come across as, well, defensive. Guilty people tend to be very
defensive. Do not fall into this trap. Also, coming up with additional lies on the
spot while being questioned can also ruin your entire story. This is why a lot of
liars tend to change their stories when questioned --they simply cannot
remember what cover-up lie they told in the first place.

Master manipulators know that when you are caught lying, you need to stop
lying and instead bend the truth just a little. Appeal to your interrogator by
mentioning things that make you seem more trustworthy to them. For example,
if you know that your interrogator is religious, you could claim that you are
religious and would never tell lies because it is against your belief system.
Whatever makes you look a less terrible and more trustworthy person should be
used to exonerate you from your lies. In fact, this is your chance to distance
yourself from liars and claim your innocence by bending the truth ever so
slightly so that it is still true but beneficial to you.

Rule #9: Do not be predictable

To be good at manipulation, you must act like just another regular guy who is
good at his job, and yet maintain an air of mystery about you. Do not make it
possible for other people to predict your every move. Once you become
predictable, you become boring and susceptible to deception. Every once in a
while, change up the way you do things so that you can throw off any observers.
Do not reveal too much information about yourself to others. Do not divulge
details of your plans, future or present, and learn to share other sensitive
information on a need-to-know basis. Be careful when determining who needs to
know what. You should first gauge the motivation behind a person’s questioning
before revealing yourself to them. And even then, offer information in a way that
makes it look like you are transparent even though you really aren’t. When
someone asks a question, hide the answer in the midst of several statements.
Cover the answer with various other useful sounding (but typically useless)
information and let the other person do the digging. It will throw them off your
back. You come across as a person who is forthcoming when in reality you are
the complete opposite.

Rule #10: Never underestimate the enemy

Yes, you are a smart guy or girl that is capable of manipulating people to get
what you want, but never make the mistake of assuming that you are the
smartest in the room. Making this assumption results in you being sloppy. When
you become sloppy, you get caught. For instance, if you are telling lies, you need
to make sure they are smart lies. Any lies that sound stupid as it comes out of
your mouth will get you caught. Never underestimate the enemy--people are
easy to manipulate, but they are also smart. One day someone will step back and
observe you, and if what you are saying and doing doesn’t make sense, your
game will be up. Do yourself a favor and think of the enemy as a smart chess
opponent, then make your best move.

Rule #11: Make yourself indispensable

To succeed in influencing people, it is important to make them need you to the

point where they cannot do away with you. At the workplace, the employee who
demonstrates superior skills has the upper hand when it comes to influencing the
people around them. After all, the people around them know not to upset this
employee as they are helpful and handy when there is a particular problem to be
solved. This kind of employee will have an easier time manipulating the boss to
give him or her a raise because the boss is afraid to lose them. Whether in a
professional or personal setting, you must ensure that you always remain an
asset. As long as you have something to offer, you will always be relevant, and
when you are relevant, you can influence the people around you into giving you
what you want.

Rule #12: Do not be afraid to make enemies

Yes, this book advocates for charm because you catch more flies with honey than
with vinegar. However, even the most charming people have their enemies. You
really cannot be everybody’s buddy. There is always going to be that one person
who is opposed to you, your ideas and everything that you stand for. This person
is sometimes disguised as a friend and in other cases is a blatant and
unapologetic enemy. The trick is to take all of it in your stride. Enemies are
useful in many ways. They teach you how to coexist with people you do not
particularly like, and if they are smart, you can learn a thing or two from them.
When influencing people, for example at the workplace, there is going to be that
one colleague who can sniff your game from a mile off. Or maybe they just do
not like the way you wear your hair or the way you park your car. It could be
anything, really. This colleague will try to tear down all the progress you have
made in influencing your boss and might even come between you and your
promotion. Do not be afraid to politely tell-off this colleague when need be. You
will make a sworn enemy, but it will teach them that you have boundaries that
you do not expect them to cross. You should not be afraid of making enemies.
All the great names in history had an enemy or two, and in some cases, millions.
Rule #13: Know when to cut your losses

Not every manipulation venture is going to be successful. Some people cannot

be swayed. Or maybe, they can be swayed but are not in the position to give you
what you need at that time. Sometimes, the need you had at the beginning
becomes outweighed by another need. It could even be that the initial target
becomes somewhat more complex than you had anticipated. Whether you did
not do your homework properly or things changed along the way, it is necessary
that you know when to cut your losses and move on. A lot of manipulators have
been caught because they got carried away and told one lie too many. Do not get
greedy in your methods. Get what you need and then move on to something else.
If you realize that this is not happening, sever this non-beneficial relationship
and run before you are caught. If you keep doing the same magic trick over and
over again, the audience gets bored and very soon you will not have an audience
anymore. Spare yourself and learn when to terminate your ‘projects.’

Rule #14: Never be too transparent about your intentions

A whole lot of people who are in influential positions do not win over people
and get them to do what they want. Why is this so? Well, if you set out with the
obvious intention of using other people, you will never really be able to use
them. Yes, at the heart of it, you are looking to use other people to further your
agenda. But most people are not dumb and will notice this straight away. The
best way to disguise your intentions is to show interest in the other person as a
human and friend first, before trying to use them. That colleague that you want
to manipulate will be more open to your advances if you buy them coffee first
and ask about their mother or their cat. This creates the rapport and familiarity
that forms the foundation for the manipulation. Most people are always eager to
make a dear friend. If you can use this to your advantage, you will be one step
ahead of everyone you meet. Once you have invested some time in forming a
friendship, you can thereafter start asking for the favors that you wanted in the
first place.

Rule #15: Don’t be a jerk

Manipulation and persuasion are not an excuse to be a terrible human being. You
can go about your life, influencing people and winning them over to your side
without being a jerk. This means you have to have some sort of decency about
you. You need to be courteous to people, decent and well-cultured in your
behavior and mannerisms and you must leave people feeling better, and not
worse, about themselves. Being a jerk only calls attention to yourself, and this is
the bad kind of attention. Anybody who is a jerk will have a very hard time
convincing people to buy their idea. But if you are a nice guy, or at least appear
to be, half of the battle is already won.

Chapter 6: Ten-Minute Tips for Manipulation
This chapter is for anyone who wants to get their manipulation game on before
reading the entire book. Remember, if you want to get the most out of this book,
it is important that you read all the chapters. However, if you just got this book
on a Sunday and you want to try out some tips and tricks by Monday, this is your
go-to chapter. In this chapter, we look at simple ways that you can get what you
want easily and faster from other people. Consider this your crash course on
manipulation 101.

Tip #1: Change of environment

Often times, the environment that you are in can determine how people respond
to your requests. In a business environment such as the workplace, it is likely
that your colleague perceives you as rivals or competitors. As such, they might
be unwilling to help you out when you ask them for one thing or the other. To
get more favorable answers to your requests, consider asking for favors when
you are out for drinks or at an office party. Jim from Finance will be more
willing to consider your requests to expedite the invoicing process if you ask
him after he’s had a few beers at a party as compared to when he is at the office
and buried in paperwork. This is because he perceives you as less of a rival when
he is having a good time. While at the office breaking his back, Jim considers
you as part of the reason why he cannot get home on time.

Tip #2: Make it about the other person

Here’s the thing--you are looking to learn how to manipulate people for your
own gain, but you do not have to make that your selling point. Nobody will be
looking to help you advance your agenda if you let it know that this is your
objective from the get-go. You are more likely to experience success with
manipulation if you instead set out to help the other person, while also looking to
help yourself. When a person feels that you have helped them get what they
want, they will be more likely to also help you get what you want, be it
knowingly or otherwise. Instead of always asking your colleagues or friends for
favors, offer your help from time to time. This way, the next time you need
something from them, they will likely be willing to help.

Tip #3: Speak quickly

When people do not understand what you are saying because you are speaking
quickly, they will give in to your demands. There are two reasons for this: they
might be unable to process what you are saying and do not want to look stupid
by asking for clarification, or they do not want to process what you are saying
because your energy is overwhelming and they do not want to deal with it. Next
time you need someone to do something for you, walk up to them and give them
swift instructions on what you need done, and then walk away. Do not give them
too much time to process what you just said. This especially works when you are
in an authority position and are giving instructions to your juniors. You are an
important person and do not have the time to slowly elaborate every detail. You
need them to be quick on their feet to respond to your demands. This is a tactic
that salesmen, especially car salesmen, seem to love. By speaking quickly to
your customer and rattling off all the details of this and that car, the customer
easily becomes overwhelmed and settles on the next choice that is offered. It
might not be in the best interest of the customer, but it is definitely in the best
interest of the salesman.

Tip #4: Dress nicely

If you want to make a good impression and gain something from making this
impression, you must dress well. Whatever stage you are at in your life, you
must make an effort to dress well. Nobody pays attention to raggedly dressed
people. The only attention you might get is having people clutch their purses
tighter when you approach them. In many stories told about con artists, you’ll
hear their victims say how the con artist seemed like a trustworthy person based
on how they presented themselves.
He looked like a nice guy, they say.

You look like a nice guy based on how you present yourself--and clothes have a
huge role to play in that. If you want to hear yes more often, invest in some nice
clothes and shoes. Keep your hair well-groomed. Buy some nice cologne and
maybe a nice watch. The way people treat you when you are well put together is
different from how they treat you when you look like you have put zero effort in
your overall look. A well-groomed gentleman who smells nice and looks great
will have an easier time getting what he wants from a woman as opposed to a
man who looks like he crawled out of a hole. And remember, you do not have to
buy designer labels or the most expensive outfits on the planet to make a great
impression--you just have to make it seem like you did.
If you do not believe that dressing nicely works, consider this--studies have
shown that males who show up in court well-dressed and clean-shaven tend to
get more lenient sentences. If dressing nicely works to your advantage in a court
of law, there is no reason why it will not work in your everyday life.

Tip #5: Scare tactics

Nobody likes to be caught flat-footed. Human beings have a survival instinct

that includes wanting to be prepared against everything and anything that might
be harmful to them. In the world of marketing and advertising, the fear of the
unknown is used on a daily basis to convince consumers to spend their money on
certain products and services. All you need to do is convince the said consumer
that there is a very high likelihood that a particular thing will go wrong and that
they need to be prepared for this likelihood by buying your product or service. If
human beings did not have a fear of the unknown (and the desire to survive the
unknown), the insurance business would not exist. If the insurance business has
made it so far, you can also ride on scare tactics and convince people that they
need you for an elaborate number of reasons. This tactic works really well if you
are hoping to manipulate people into accepting a solution that you are offering. It
could also work in personal and workplace relationships depending on the
context and the angle you work it.

Tip #6: Consistency is key

There is a saying that goes like this: a person who is nice to you but rude to the
waiter is not a nice person. This is something that you must always remember
when you are trying to step up your manipulation game. You must remain
consistent in your behavior when interacting with everyone around you,
regardless of whether that person is your target or not. Consistency is important
because you need everyone to think that you are a nice person. If people have
conflicting impressions of you based on behavioral mistakes that you have made,
the red flags will start to go up. Red flags are the stop signs that will prevent
your potential assets and victims from assisting you in furthering your agenda.
Stay consistent. Speak the same way to everyone. Let everybody think of you as
the charmer who always has a nice thing to say about everyone. You’ll win more
people over this way, and once you do, you will have an even larger pool of
people to manipulate.

Tip #7: Silence is golden

Silences make most people uncomfortable. Sometimes, the most effective thing
you can do to get information from someone is to remain silent. This way, the
other person will be compelled to fill this silence with some talk, thus giving you
an opportunity to gather as much information as you want. The trick is to ensure
that you say enough so that you encourage them to keep talking. For example,
you can repeat the last bit of every statement they make so that they keep on
adding more information. An example:
I ran into Robert yesterday.

Robert?
Yes, at the new Chinese restaurant.

Chinese restaurant?
Yes, the one that opened down the street last month. I was having lunch with a
friend.
Notice how you have been able to gather additional information without giving
anything for in return. You can keep this going for a while, but you do not want
to overdo because then it becomes awkward.

Tip #8: Play nice

This tip is somewhat related to tip number 6, but also somewhat different. Here’s
why: in order to get what you want out of people, you must have the patience to
play nice even when you are screaming internally. Even the nicest people have
their breaking points, and some people seem to have the talent to push you over
the edge. You must be careful to always stay positive and begin your
conversations on a positive note even when you are nearing your boiling point.
For example, if you want a colleague to do something for you (for example,
correct a report that they have messed up on), you’ll want to phrase your
statement in a way that absolves them of the majority of the guilt. For instance,
instead of telling them that they are a dummy and have mixed up all the
numbers, ask them whether they sent the right report and if they would like to
take a second look and send another version. This gets you what you want
without making the other person feel foolish, and this is exactly what you want
as you need to be able to keep getting what you want from this individual.

Replace the I don’t think this is right with have you considered…?

Tip #9: Carry your cross

There are certain things that you can do that will make people automatically
assume that you are a good and trustworthy person, even when really you are
not. For instance, wearing a cross necklace or rosary will make others assume
that you are a well-meaning Christian with good morals. Once people make this
assumption about you, they will lower their defenses when around you and you
can manipulate them to do as you wish.
A lot of men have figured out that the accessories that you carry along with you
can influence the kind of interactions they have with other people (read women).
It is for this reason that you will find some men walking their cute dogs (even
when they are not really interested in the dog) or taking their pretty nieces along
to social events because these two accessories (while not really store-bought
accessories) give a great boost to their appeal. A man with either of these two
accessories automatically comes across to most women like a decent, nurturing
and well-grounded guy who can make a good father to a baby, be it a real one or
a fur baby. This might not necessarily be the case, but it is a ploy that has worked
for the longest time and continues to be effective to date.

This tip does not require you to borrow your nieces or nephews. The point here
is that you can create an illusion of who you are by incorporating a few things in
your being.

Tip #10: Talk that talk

If you sound smart, everybody assumes that you are smart. If you are not
articulate with your words and like to use filler words like a teenage girl would,
nobody is going to take you seriously. Widen your vocabulary by listening to
great speakers and reading books. Watch documentaries about important topics
so that you can have serious dinner conversations without seeming like you are
out of your depth. People tend to trust intelligent-sounding people, and you need
to ensure that your smarts earn you this trust. Sounding intelligent has nothing to
do with using big words. In fact, the more you use ridiculous sounding words,
the lower your credibility dips. Learn to be measured in your intellect. You do
not want to use up all your big words in one night. Come the next night, you will
have nothing left to use.

Tip #11: Put the data aside

Some people will never be convinced unless you have a set of data to back up
your claims. Your CEO, for instance, wants numbers and not stories about how
you embarked on a marketing campaign that won over customers. Top level
management wants to be convinced that you are doing your job by looking at the
numbers that you have to show them. However, the vast majority of people don’t
care for numbers and prefer stories. If you are speaking in front of an audience,
you stand to influence them more if you rely on anecdotes to push your message.
Anecdotes lend a personal touch to claims and make you seem more relatable.
They humanize your message and win you the trust of the audience. Don’t worry
if you have not had enough experiences to have interesting anecdotes--you can
always borrow other people’s stories or make up some of your own. It is not a
sin to have an imaginative mind.

Tip #12: Be unique but also predictable in a relatable way

As a manipulator, you want to stand out so that you can be remembered, but you
also want to blend in so that you do not arouse suspicion. To achieve this
balance, you must ensure that you do what everyday people do. Use clichés, talk
about predictable topics like the weather and be generally easy-going. This way,
you’ll be just another guy, and there will be nothing unusual about you. You will
have plenty of time to advance your agenda, but in the ,meantime, you must
perfect your ordinary, decent guy or girl act. Learning to blend in also has the
advantage of giving you the protection of a crowd around you, so to speak.
When you are just another guy (but who is also smart and charming), you will
likely have a social group of individuals who are like you surrounding you in
your life. Getting to you will be harder as opposed to when you are that guy that
sticks out like a sore thumb.

Tip #13: Newbies are easy targets

Newbies, be it at the workplace or any situation, are always eager to come help
and fit in because nobody really is a fan of sticking out like a sore thumb. If you
have a new intern or colleague at your workplace, this is your lowest hanging
fruit as far as getting what you want. You can have this new employee do
whatever it is that you want without much resistance. You will, however, have to
be careful to not come across as overbearing as you want to be able to use this
newbie for as long as you can while having them think that you are looking out
for them. In the case of the intern, you can have them perform any tasks that you
find unpleasant by disguising it as a learning opportunity. Take them out for
pizza once a week, and you will have a faithful servant for as long as their
internship lasts.

Tip #14: I need your help…

The way you phrase a request can mean all the difference between someone
doing it grumpily or happily, or not doing it at all. If you are a boss, your
employees already know that they need to abide by your rules, and do as you
say. However, phrasing your orders and instructions as requests for help will get
you better results and make you come across as a likable person. This is exactly
the kind of reputation that will be beneficial to you in the future when you need
more things done for you.
Never feel the need to flex your authority muscle all the time. Everybody knows
that you are the boss. They do not need to be reminded all the time. In fact, if
you come across as that guy who is in charge but is not drunk with power, you
will seem more trustworthy. Political leaders have especially mastered the art of
making their constituents think that they are just another buddy, but with a better
office. They’ll attend local events and sit with communities to chat and catch up
on a cup of tea. This is just a trick to seem more relatable. At the end of the day,
the constituents go to their homes convinced that the politician is just another
well-meaning husband and father who wants to transform their community. Only
after some years will the constituents realize that they have been duped.

Tip #15: It’s all in the name

People like the sound of their names, especially when it comes from someone
they find attractive or superior to them in one way or another. When meeting
someone for the first time, repeat their name as many times as you can without
making things awkward. Not only will this make you seem like a nice and
likable person, but it will also help you remember their name which comes in
handy when you need something from them. At work and in other social
situations, address people by their names. Walk up to colleagues and call them
by name before asking for favors. Get to know your neighbors’ names and call
them as such. You will have created a bond of familiarity just by this simple
gesture, and you can count on this bond to come in handy down the road. At the
same time, ensure that these people know your name so that they know you as
[insert your name] as opposed to knowing you as just a neighbor or colleague.
When people feel some form of familiarity towards you, they are less likely to
say no to you.

Saying no to Liz sounds a whole lot worse than saying no to that girl from
accounting. In the first instance, there’s a whole feeling person behind the name.
In the latter case, there is this nondescript colleague that you couldn't care less
for. So, make sure you know people’s names and ensure they know yours as
well.

Bonus Tip: Food is your friend

People are often in a better and more agreeable mood after they have eaten. It is
no wonder that it has been said that the best way to a man’s heart is through his
stomach. In the same way, the best way to win over your target is by ensuring
they are well-fed and ready to agree with you on your demands. Whether you are
making a presentation in the boardroom or addressing a larger audience, having
some snacks will go a long way in getting your job done. A lot of deals have
been closed over dinner and drinks, and this should convince you that food is
definitely your friend when it comes to winning over the right people.

A study was conducted in Israel to determine the times when judges gave more
favorable convictions. The outcome of the study--based on 1,000 convictions--
was that judges tended to give more lenient sentences early in the morning, or
immediately after a scheduled break. The scheduled breaks constituted of lunch
and snack breaks. There is an old saying that goes like this: justice depends on
what the judge ate for breakfast. In the case of the Israeli study, this saying came
to life quite literally.

If you do not believe that bringing food works to your advantage, try wooing a
woman on an empty stomach. There is a big reason why many first dates are
conducted in restaurants--it is easier to convince someone that you are worth a
second date and a relationship after they have had the juiciest steak in the entire
city.

Chapter 7: Master Manipulators in World History
Often, the best way to get better at something is to learn from the people who
have excelled at it. Throughout history, there have been characters that have
been able to manipulate their way to getting whatever they wanted, be it from
one person or from groups of people.

Hanns Scharff

During the Second World War, a German interrogator named Hanns Scharff was
busy at work. His job as an interrogator involved obtaining information from
captured American pilots. While other interrogators had no problem using
physical force and abuse to obtain this information from the prisoners of war,
Scharff was opposed to the same and utilized other tactics. His tactics were so
effective that he would later be called upon to give lectures on his methods. So,
what exactly did Scharff do that made him deserve a mention on the list of
master manipulators of the world?
For a start, Scharff exploited the prisoners’ fear of the Gestapo to get what he
wanted. Back then, the Gestapo was immensely feared. Nobody wanted to be on
the wrong side of the Gestapo. Scharff knew this and used this fear to his
advantage. He made sure that the prisoners he was interrogating remained fearful
of the Gestapo throughout the questioning while making it seem that he was
their best advocate against the Gestapo. He told the prisoners that he wanted to
help them, but he could only do so if they provided the information he needed.
Otherwise, he would be forced to hand over the prisoner to the Gestapo. In using
this approach, Scharff got the prisoners thinking that he was their ally and once
they felt like they could trust him, they would spill all their secrets to him.

Scharff even went to the point of becoming “friends” with the prisoners--which
included having conversations regarding other matters outside of the information
he needed, bringing them home-made items and even alcohol. He made himself
seem relatable by sharing information about himself that made him seem like
just another nice, friendly guy who was just doing his job. For example, Scharff
liked to mention that he was married to an Englishwoman and was the son-in-
law to a WWII British fighter.
Scharff took his prisoners of war on nature walks outside of captivity. He did not
shackle them to prevent them from escaping. Instead, he made the prisoners
promise that they would not try to escape during the nature walk. During these
walks, Scharff preyed on the prisoners’ desire for a listening ear and allowed
them to talk about anything and everything without directly interrogating them.
In the end, the prisoners would end up volunteering the very information that
Scharff was interested in.

Highly organized, Scharff kept files on the prisoners of war. In each file, he
would write down everything he knew about the prisoner--for reference and
interrogation purposes. During interrogation, he would make the prisoner think
that the files contained comprehensive information about them, when in fact
some of the files did not have anything substantial to go by. Convinced that the
files had all details anyway, the prisoners would often divulge information that
Scharff and the Luftwaffe needed-- but did not already have.
For his role in effectively obtaining information humanely without torturing
prisoners, Scharff has aptly been given the title of “Master Interrogator,” and his
methods continue to be relied upon in many interrogation rooms across the
world. He is an example of a human being who used his superior intellect and
manipulation expertise in a decent manner, even though he did not have the most
enviable job or circumstances.

Joseph Stalin

Joseph Stalin was a leader of the Soviet Union who ruled between the years of
1922 and 1953. Born into a poor family, Stalin utilized his ability to manipulate
every situation to his benefit to rise to the ranks of one of the most well-known
political figures of all time. While Stalin is unlikely to receive any posthumous
awards for popularity, there are several things to learn from his manipulative
personality. Stalin was a fierce and feared character who was not opposed to
using any means possible to advance his agenda, propaganda and manipulation
included. During his reign, he relied on several methods to intimidate his
enemies while instilling fear and admiration in equal parts in his supporters.

For starters, Stalin was able to present different sides of him in varying situations
depending on the audience. He was deceptive and would never allow himself to
reveal his true motives or his next move. This way, he kept his detractors
guessing and was always one step ahead of everyone. He was a good reader of
people and could easily judge how clever and mentally strong a person was, and
then determine what to do with the said person depending on how they
measured.
At the same time, Stalin was also very charming. It has been said that this charm
contributed greatly to his ascent to power in the Soviet Union. During his more
relaxed period, Stalin was the social butterfly who liked to crack jokes and have
a good time with other people. Stalin was both cruel and kind, depending on the
circumstances. On the one hand, he did not have much patience with his
associates, especially when they were on his wrong side and on the other, he was
a man capable of extending a kind hand to a total stranger. These two strikingly
different sides of him made him unpredictable and somewhat of an enigma.
While the murders committed during his reign will forever be the big blot in
Stalin’s legacy, it is evident that this was a man who was fully in control and
capable of manipulating anything and anyone to suit his own agenda. It is no
wonder that he managed to hold onto power until the day of his death.

Charles Ponzi

You know you’ve made your mark in the world when there is something named
after you. Unfortunately, sometimes the mark is not all that nice--as in the case
of Charles Ponzi and Ponzi schemes.
Charles Ponzi was an Italian swindler who managed to scam his victims out of
$20 million. In today’s terms, that would be equivalent to over $200 million.
Ponzi, a man who had faced his fair share of financial misfortune, decided that
he could make money and become a millionaire by robbing Peter to pay Paul.
He sold his investors a grand story about how he could get them returns of 50
percent of their investments within 45 days. What his investors did not know
was that all of it was a mirage and Ponzi was not, in fact, investing their money
anywhere. Instead, he was using the money brought in by subsequent investors
to pay the earlier investors.
While his business model was not in any way feasible, Ponzi managed to fool
his victims and the authorities for over a year before he got caught. Based purely
on deceit and manipulation, Ponzi’s scheme did not discriminate as far as his
victims were concerned. Ponzi wanted money, for his own benefit, and he was
willing to get it from anyone who could give it to him. He took the money of the
rich people of back then and the poorer ones who were struggling with finances.
Whenever someone had a question to ask about the feasibility of the scheme,
Ponzi was at hand to offer, answer, and sometimes play the victim.

In fact, a particular point in time, Ponzi even sued a journalist who had written a
story disparaging him and his schemes. From this libel lawsuit, Ponzi was paid
$500,000 in damages. This move allowed Ponzi to go about his business without
worrying about other people looking into his business. Back then, the law of
libel stated that the burden of proof was the responsibility of the writer and his
publisher, and so Ponzi diligently exploited this loophole to his advantage.

At another instance, Ponzi’s investors showed up at his office, demanding an

explanation for the stories that were flying around, and their money back. Ponzi
managed to allay the victims’ fears by turning on the charm--he spoke with them
and cheerfully handed out doughnuts and coffee and told them that they had
nothing to worry about. The truth of the matter is that they indeed had a whole
lot to worry about. By the time the scheme came to an end, families had lost
entire savings and sank into poverty. Ponzi was not in the least bit remorseful
about this. At an interview conducted shortly before his death, Ponzi suggested
that even though his investors had lost the money they had, it was worth the
show he had put on for them. In his mind, Ponzi was not guilty of fraud--he was
only guilty of ‘putting on the best show since the landing of the Pilgrims.’
While Ponzi did not originate the idea of robbing Peter to pay Paul, he certainly
made it famous and remains as one of the most well-known con artists of all
time. Long after he died, millions of people have fallen victims to other Ponzi
schemes, and with dire consequences. Ponzi schemes continue to thrive because
of human nature. Human beings are naturally inclined to be selfish and look out
for themselves, and sometimes being greedy is a part of looking out for
themselves. When sold a Ponzi scheme disguised as an investment scheme, most
people will consider all the returns they stand to gain, and how their financial
status can improve as a result.

On the surface, many Ponzi schemes are sold as an easy way to make money,
while the operations side is shown to be this complex web involving serious
decisions and investment and reinvestment. Even those investors who are
skeptical at first get sold when they hear of how much work the investment
owners undertake in the shadows that they cease their suspicion. Remember that
people will agree with something quickly if they do not understand it. A whole
lot of investors who have gotten burned did so because they put their money into
something they did not understand, simply because a slick “financial guru” went
on and on about the investment idea.

Ted Bundy

The name Ted Bundy is known all over the world and not for good reasons. Born
Theodore Robert Cowell, Bundy (named so after his stepfather adopted him) has
gone down in the history books as America’s most notorious serial killer. At the
time of his execution in 1989, Bundy had an official victim count of 30, even
though some quarters believe that this number could be as high as one hundred
or more. Ted Bundy carried out his murderous activities in the 1970s and went
undetected for a number of years, even as victims continued disappearing and
turning up dead. While all this was happening, Bundy kept up with his normal
life, acting like any typical guy in his mid-twenties would. He met and dated
women, and even convinced them that he was worthy of the investment of a
long-term investment. In the end, these women suffered great betrayal because
everything had been a lie--Bundy was only manipulating them for his own gain.
Even after he was caught, Bundy still tried to manipulate his way out of justice
by dangling the information he had about his victims as the proverbial carrot.
Bundy mastered the art of playing the victim by putting himself in situations
where his victims would empathize with him and come to his aid. This is how he
made contact with many of his victims--by pretending to have a broken arm or
leg or needing some other type of help. Bundy was also very charming--which
would explain his luck with women. Throughout his life, this serial killer
managed to charm several women into dating him, many times concurrently.
Being charming is a trait that many manipulators have mastered. It is important
for manipulators to come across as charming and likable because this is how
they lure their prey.

Bundy also knew how to blend it. At a certain point in his life, he worked a
suicide prevention hotline, and his colleagues described him as an empathetic
man who loved helping others. Obviously, there was nothing empathetic about
his man who had no problem taking away the lives of multiple innocent women.
If he came across as empathetic, it is because he sold this image for his own
benefit. He had to appear as a calm, normal human for him to blend in and easily
prey on his victims.

While it is obvious that Ted Bundy had multiple other problems including
possibly having personality disorders, it is also an agreed-on fact that he was
highly manipulative and lived his life while looking out for himself only. Up
until the afternoon of his execution, Bundy was still manipulating his way
through life by playing the victim. In an interview conducted hours before his
execution, Bundy attributed his evil acts to his exposure to violence and
pornography as a kid. Later on, it would emerge that he might have been
working this angle because his interviewer was a man who was vehemently
opposed to pornography. Bundy was obviously was a smart guy who could have
used his brain and ability to manipulate to achieve greatness for himself, but
instead, he chose to go down the dark road of murder, necrophilia, and various
other unmentionable acts.

Dee Dee Blanchard

Dee Dee Blanchard is a name that has fascinated Americans and the world alike,
especially since 2015 when she was murdered by her daughter’s boyfriend in a
murder plot orchestrated by her own daughter. Dee Dee, born Clauddine Pitre, is
a woman that managed to fool her community and the entire United States that
she had a terribly sick daughter who needed a wheelchair and 24/7 care. The
ruse went on for years and years and would never have been discovered had she
not met her untimely end thanks to her daughter’s frustration and desire for
independence.
A little backstory: Dee Dee was a divorced single mom and the sole caregiver of
her daughter, Gypsy Rose Blanchard. From an early age, Dee Dee started
assigning various ailments to her daughter with the intention of benefitting from
the sympathy of friends, family and strangers alike. Confining her capable-of-
walking daughter to a wheelchair since the age of 5, Dee Dee made Gypsy visit
over 100 doctors for medical attention. During this period of over twenty years,
she gave Gypsy hundreds of medications, some of which were actually
detrimental to Gypsy’s well-being and mimicked the ailments that she claimed
Gypsy had.
Dee Dee was a master manipulator, and nothing was too horrible for her to
execute. She ensured she was in full control of her daughter’s life, with no
allowance for Gypsy to be a normal girl with her own friends or social life. Even
though Gypsy’s father was paying child support to her and visiting Gypsy, Dee
Dee ensured that the community’s sympathy was focused on her by telling lies
about her ex-husband. This included saying that he was an unsupportive ex-
husband who was not interested in being in Gypsy’s life. This was a ploy to play
victim, thus laying the further groundwork for pity and handouts.
When Hurricane Katrina hit the US in 2005, Dee Dee and Gypsy Rose lost their
home in the aftermath. However, they weren’t homeless for long as Habitat for
Humanity thereafter built them a new house. Dee Dee used the Hurricane’s
devastation as an excuse for Gypsy’s missing medical records whenever she
visited a hospital to get Gypsy checked. She was also able to charm her way out
of difficult situations with doctors, many of whom could tell that Gypsy was not
suffering from any of the chronic ailments that Dee Dee claimed she had.
In the end, the fact that Dee Dee had managed to manipulate an entire country
for over twenty years was the greatest shock of all. People who were initially
sympathetic over her situation quickly started to feel betrayed at this decades-
long deceit. Her ability to cover her tracks for so long earns Dee Dee a spot in
the manipulator’s hall of fame. What’s even more unbelievable is that Dee Dee
had managed to convince a perfectly healthy child that she was sick. The power
and control that she held over her daughter is evident. A normal child with a
parent who is not manipulative would have easily opened up to someone about
what was happening early on. However, the manipulative hold that Dee Dee had
on Gypsy Rose would not allow her to open up to anyone, and when Gypsy
finally did open up, it was to an online boyfriend who would later kill her
mother.

It is clear that Dee Dee had the mind of a highly manipulative individual. It is
not every day that one is able to fool millions of people over a period of two
decades. Such a ploy requires careful planning and the ability to diligently cover
your tracks. The lies that had to be told for this one big lie to continue for so
long are obviously massive--and Dee Dee kept track of all of them, or at least
had ways to deflect the attention to something else. Of course, there are other
factors that might have been at play. At one instance, a doctor suspected that Dee
Dee and Gypsy’s problem was Munchausen syndrome by proxy or MSBP for
short. Munchausen syndrome by proxy is a form of mental illness where a
person fakes the illness of the person under their care, with the objective of
benefitting from this deception. The benefit could be in any form including
monetary or just attention and sympathy.

Chapter 8: Mistakes Making You Vulnerable to
Manipulation
If you are reading this book, the chances are high that you are not the best
manipulator out there--you are looking to become one or get better. That means
that there is a very high likelihood that you are getting manipulated by other
people in your daily life. Our interactions with the people around us are often
spontaneous. Nobody leaves their house every day with pre-planned
conversations, decisions, and answers for every scenario that will arise during
the day. Most decisions are made on the fly. In such circumstances, it is very
easy to get manipulated by your co-workers, friends, strangers, brands, your boss
and just about anyone who makes contact with you. Sometimes, it is the habits
that you have formed and the decisions that you make that make it easy for you
to be manipulated. It is no wonder that certain people--especially those poor at
decision making--are so vulnerable to being manipulated.

What mistakes are you making today that are placing you at the risk of
manipulation? Read on.

You believe everything you hear or read

Lies and propaganda have existed since the beginning of time, and they are not
going anywhere anytime soon. A long time ago, before the invention of the
Internet, propagandists relied on word of mouth to disseminate false information,
hate speech, and other propaganda. They also relied on traditional media outlets
such as newspapers and radio. Fast forward to today, and the double-edged
sword that is the Internet has made it possible for the information to be
transmitted across continents in a manner of seconds. Unfortunately, nobody is
checking this information. There are no Internet editors seated somewhere ready
to crack down on any false information that may be getting peddled. That leaves
the onus of due diligence firmly on the reader or consumer of this information.
Today’s world is an advanced and highly modern environment that is equal parts
good and bad, and equal parts true and false. There are numerous modern tools
at our disposal including social media pages, online news outlets, online brands,
and even social media influencers. Each one of these outlets is created with a
particular objective in mind. More often than not, your well-being and right to
information is just a peripheral consideration. The spread of false information
online is massive. For every factual article that you read, there might be ten more
with fabricated information.

The fabricated information is intended to influence you into thinking a

particular way and performing a certain action that is beneficial to another party.
If you are the type of person that believes everything because it is on the
Internet, you are in a whole lot of trouble. The Internet is a great place, but it is
also a cesspool of wicked individuals and manipulators, and everything in
between. There are people who do not have day jobs and spend their time trying
to manipulate you into handing over your savings and all your possessions.
There are people seated behind computers trying to make you hate someone you
have never met because of the color of your skin. There are people so desperate
to distort your reality that they are just waiting for you to click on an article so
that they can lead you down a rabbit hole.

It is not just the Internet that is corrupted. Even in the physical world, predators
lurk everywhere. Unfortunately, the world has become a place where everyone
looks out for themselves, and nobody else. In this day and age, you cannot afford
to believe everything that you hear or read. Have a questioning mind and the
confidence to doubt anything that does not sound sensible or reasonable. If a
brand is selling a product that is advertised as the magic solution to all your
problems, ask yourself how practical that is. How come nobody else before this
brand discovered this so-called elixir? What is the science behind the
production?

When a friend tells you about a particular investment that is supposed to yield 50
percent returns every week, take a step back and examine the business model of
the said investment. Or, just don’t. Even the wealthiest businessmen rarely, if at
all, make returns of 50 percent on their investments. The old saying that if the
deal is too good think twice still holds to date. In short, take everything you hear
with a pinch of salt. You would be surprised how much you can uncover if you
err on the side of skepticism.

You overshare or give too much information about yourself

Human beings are social animals. We like to interact with people and talk to
them and get a feel of how they are doing. We also like to talk about ourselves--
sometimes too much! In fact, it is a well-known fact that people like to talk
about themselves and that asking a person a question about themselves is the
surest way to get the conversation going, even on awkward first dates. However,
there is a thin line between having a conversation or being social and placing
yourself smack on the bull’s eye. If people do not know how you think or what
you are up to, you are less vulnerable to manipulation. You cannot manipulate
someone that you have not yet figured. To be manipulated, your weakness must
be identified and then used to your disadvantage. Enter social media.

Think back to the last post you made on any of your social media pages. What
was it about? Did it have any information that you would normally not blurt out
to a stranger? Was it a necessary post or did you do it for the sake of getting
attention? Many people are engaged in social media without considering the
repercussions. There are numerous people who at this moment are being
swindled out of their time and savings because they just cannot shut up on social
media.
If everyone on your social media pages knows your every move, your every
location and your every decision, then you can be sure that you are a sitting
duck. Do yourself a favor and exercise discretion when sharing on social media.
Your close circle of friends already knows that you are at a particular restaurant
having dinner. They know this because they are seated with you in that exact
restaurant. As such, you do not need to be checking into every location every
second of the evening. That is how you get manipulated...and kidnapped.

Your self-image and self-presentation

If you weren’t you, and you met you, what is the first thing you’d think about
you? In other words, what do you think is the first thing that comes to mind
when other people meet you? The way you present yourself can mean the
difference between being manipulated and manipulating others. We are all born
whole. Along the way, some people lose their sense of wholeness and
wholesomeness and start to doubt themselves. Confidence is something that is
built over time--through the caring affection and reinforcement of a child’s main
caregiver, and the environment surrounding this child. Unfortunately, not
everybody is lucky to get this sort of reinforcement. Regardless of your
circumstances, you can still walk around as if you are somewhat of a big deal.
There is nothing wrong with being comfortable with yourself and showing that
to the world. In fact, there is something absolutely wrong with doing the
opposite. If you look timid and lacking in self-confidence, the manipulators sniff
you from a mile off. If you have been walking around hunched and unsure,
straighten your back and walk with your eyes straight ahead. Dress well and put
on some nice-smelling cologne. Smile more. Doing these simple things will
change the way you feel about yourself and in return, the way people perceive
you. You will likely get treated better, and the manipulators will have a harder
time getting to you because they can tell that it will be a lot of work breaking
you down.
You rush into relationships

In pre-school, you can become someone’s best friend in a matter of minutes; you
just need to be present and have pink shoes that they like. Childhood
relationships are easy because there is not much expectation from either party.
Adult relationships, on the other hand, require a little bit more time. Many adults
do not just become friends for the sake of friendship. A whole lot of them are
motivated by the opportunities presented by the friendship. While it is important
to be open to forming new friendships and relationships, you need to be careful
and ensure that you are not just a means to fulfill another person’s needs.

Be wary of anyone who rushes into your life and starts professing love and
commitment from the get-go. Most of such professions are not sincere. You are
only getting love-bombed by this person so that they have an easier time
manipulating you later on. For more about love-bombing, refer to Chapter 3:
Advanced Level Manipulation Methods.

The desire to be loved and to have a companion is present in human nature, but
it should not push you into rushed relationships where your well-being is not a
priority. Always take time to get to know someone before you open your home
and yourself to them. Many manipulators are silent predators that stalk their prey
stealthily, but most of them are also not very patient. If a manipulator realizes
that you are not willing to give up what they want within a short period of time,
they will most likely run off to the next victim. Time is your friend when it
comes to avoiding being blatantly manipulated by would-be partners and friends.

You do not understand what manipulation is

Sometimes, a person will be manipulated for years on end before they finally
realize that they are being manipulated. Some never arrive at this realization. If
you do not know what manipulation looks like, it could walk right past you, and
you would be none the wiser. Some people even confuse manipulation with love.
Fortunately, reading this will make you more aware of what signs to look out for
to avoid being manipulated. The tactics described in this book to help you learn
how to influence people are the very same ones being used by skilled
manipulators out there. So, if you come across someone who seems to have read
and practiced all the techniques described therein, run for the hills.

You do not run things through your social circle

If you are one of the fortunate humans that have people who love them, then you
have a social circle of friends and family around you. Friends and family come
in handy in many ways. They love and care for you when you need them. They
offer recommendations to the best dentists and plumbers. They keep you
company and send Christmas gifts. The list is endless. Friends and family can
also function as a sounding board, allowing you to make sense of the things that
you hear. This is not to suggest that you need to check with your friends every
time you have to make a decision. Rather, your friends are an important source
of information when you need to carry out some due diligence on particular
matters. You do not even need to tell your friends or family that you need a
particular piece of information regarding someone. Often, just mentioning a
name is enough to make a loved one volunteer information about them.
Consider this short conversation between yourself and a friend who is well-
known to you:

Oh, I ran into Jake today.

Jake from high school?
Yes, Jake from high school. He says he’s making millions on Wall Street.

Oh, don’t listen to him--he’s been running that scam for the longest time.
See, you do not even need to tell your friend that you were considering investing
with Jake, and yet you got the information you needed. Your social circle knows
things that you do not know, so make use of your friends and family properly.
You do not want to be the last to know or the blinking fool of the group. That’s
how you get manipulated.

You are not selfish with your money

You could be the richest person in this world, and this advice would still hold--
be selfish with your money. Selfish in this case does not mean being extremely
stingy and unwilling to help anyone in need. Selfish in this particular case refers
to acknowledging that you work hard for your money and anybody who wants
some of it has to work hard for it. If you are the kind of person who is willing to
hand over money anytime a person weaves a fake sob story, you will be donating
a whole lot of cash to non-existent crises. Money, or financial gain, is a huge
motivator for most manipulators. If you are willing to hand over your money to
every cause without doing some proper investigation, you are vulnerable to
manipulation. Sharks are everywhere in this world; do not let them see that you
are dripping blood.

You are not clear on where you stand on certain matters

If a friend of yours came to you with a request for a loan, what is the maximum
amount that you’d be willing to give? If a colleague asked you to work their
shift, would it matter if that shift was on a Monday or Saturday? If you won one
million dollars in the lottery today, what would you invest in? Let’s say you had
a forty-year-old son who was out of a job, would you allow them to move back
in with you and give them an allowance until they found another job and got
back on their feet? Granted, these are not questions that you walk around asking
yourself just in case that hypothetical situation becomes a reality. However, it is
important that you know what your principles, priorities, and preferences are in
life so that you can always be looking out for these when interacting with
people. Being led by solid truths such as these three Ps will allow you to say no
to anything that is outside of this set, however attractive the other person might
make it sound. If you have never had any interest in investing in real estate, and
do not consider it one of your preferred choices, you will likely not fall for the
scam artist selling you non-existent beach property. You will send them on your
merry way so that they can manipulate someone else. If you have a rule that says
you cannot lend your friends anything above $1000 at a time, then you will
protect yourself from that manipulative friend who is always asking for loans
with one excuse or the other. Draw your lines and boundaries and the people in
your life will have to toe the line, albeit unknowingly.

You think everyone is a nice person

A majority of people are nowhere near nice. Human beings are wired for
survival and being nice is not one way of surviving. In the wild jungle, being
nice gets you killed. In the concrete jungle, being nice gets you scammed and
manipulated. Whenever you meet a new person, do not automatically think they
are nice because they are smiling a lot and touching your ‘safe zone.’ Maybe
they just read this book and are using the tactics described to bait you. See
Chapter 4: Becoming a Master Manipulator for tips on how to correctly touch a
person platonically for best results.
While it is okay to want to think the best of everyone, the truth is always more
different than what you see on the surface. Just because you are Mr. Nice or Miss
Nice does not mean that everyone is Mr. Nice or Miss Nice. Allow yourself
adequate time to read people’s intentions. Assume the worst, and you’ll be
pleasantly surprised when the other person turns out to be a decent human being.

You are not likable

What happens when you are not a likable person? People will often not care
about you and will not mind exploiting you for their own gain. People who are
not likable and who seem unapproachable have the advantage of keeping the
amateur manipulators away just by their aura. However, master manipulators are
always up for a challenge and will attempt to get to you and feel no mercy at all.
Smile a little more and be open to receiving the gift of friendship and social
interaction. You might even learn a thing or two about the manipulators from the
friends you make. Plus, when you come across as a likable and easy-going
person, you will have thrown off your manipulator, especially if you are none of
those things in reality. Likable people also tend to have a whole protective social
circle around them. This social circle often works as a buffer against
manipulators.

Chapter 9: Manipulation and the Question of
Morality
If you are reading this book, it means that you might be on the fence about, or
totally on the side of manipulation. Most people will clutch their pearls when
they notice someone reading a guide on manipulation. Expect this same reaction
from the people around you. The question of whether manipulation is moral or
immoral is one that is not likely to be answered anytime soon. There are a lot of
grey areas to be considered. For instance, what is the manipulation intended to
achieve and who is the target? If you manipulate someone into donating to your
favorite charity, does this still count as immoral? At the workplace, where do
you draw the line between ethical and unethical manipulation, and who sets the
rules for either?

There are some instances where manipulation has been used to harm other
people. In such an instance, it is easy to say that a line has been crossed. But then
again, while the moral compass is supposed to always point north, not everyone
has this compass. Morality and immorality are subjective depending on various
factors. That being said, there are instances where it is almost unanimously
agreed that manipulation is a good thing. In such instances, nobody will bat an
eyelid when persistent persuasion is being used to achieve a particular objective.

Since their inception, non-profit organizations and non-governmental

organizations have relied upon the goodwill of donors to further their agenda.
Getting people to give you their money is not an easy task. If you thought asking
investors for capital is hard, try asking for money that will not have any
monetary returns. It can definitely be an uphill task. Instead, what nonprofits
have mastered is the art of persuading donors to give their money for the greater
good of the world.
These nonprofits are very deliberate in approaching their donors. They know that
people will give to causes that they are passionate about. As such, they have
profiles of people they would like to approach which they crossmatch with the
kind of work they do. It would be foolish and a waste of time for a nonprofit to
approach a donor who has no interest in the particular field of operation of the
nonprofit. Once the befitting donor has been identified, the next step is to
persuade them to make a donation, and potentially a long-standing contribution.
Remember the concept of the idealized self-image? If you don’t, refer to Chapter
1. The subsection of Flattery delves into what an idealized self-image is. Now,
the trick is to appeal to the image the person has of themselves: that they are a
giving person and are always engaged in altruistic acts for the greater good of
the world and the less fortunate. Some people like to refer to this as the
massaging of an ego.
The donor now has an expectation to live up to. He has this non-profit
organization that is engaged in something that he cares about, and the non-profit
thinks the world of him. Sooner than later, there will be a check addressed to the
said organization. The donor will feel so good about himself and will continue
making donations for as long as he can; after all, he is a kind and giving person.
In the meantime, the donations are used to help important causes, and the world
is a better place as a result.

Manipulation against the backdrop of capitalism is yet another area that is quite
grey. For instance, if you make a product and manipulate people into thinking
that is worth more than it actually is, and they pay for it, does that make you a
bad person? Think of all the overpriced items in this world and the people
spending their hard-earned money to pay for them. Who is at fault here? Is
anybody really at fault? While a shopper spends $1000 on a handbag that ideally
should cost less, a struggling sales assistant gets a reprieve in the form of sales
commission. Does the manipulation equation balance out in this case?

Employees in the workplace have different levels of motivation. Some

employees come to work because they are passionate about what they do. Some
only show up because they have bills to pay. There are yet others who have yet
to figure out why they keep showing up even though they mentally checked out
months ago. As a manager, how effective is it to use direct and upfront means to
motivate each and every employee that works under you? Sometimes you have
to resort to manipulation. It gets the job done faster.
The decision of where morality meets manipulation is indeed a very personal
one. If you want to benefit fully from this book, you must make that decision
very early on. Considering that you have read this book so far (and most of the
techniques described herein are humane), you are likely to be interested in going
through with it. However, choosing to adopt manipulation in your daily life is
not the same as knowing how to deal with the consequences. If telling a single
lie keeps you awake at night, you’ll probably not have a very easy time
manipulating people. Keep this in mind but remember too that what might seem
impossible at first might become easier as you get used to it. You might get
better at telling bigger lies if you practice with some little fibs.
At the same time, you need to be able to draw the line as far as deciding who is a
target for your manipulation and who is not. If you have a dear and loving
relationship with your parents, you might want to let it remain as so and keep the
manipulation out of the family home. Being outed as a manipulator or liar could
very easily cost you the opportunity to enjoy a loving relationship with our
family members. Again, this is all subjective. If family is not important to you,
you are at liberty to manipulate them into giving you what you want.

The morality of manipulation really is a personal question that requires a

personal answer.

Why Manipulation is Important in Your Life

Manipulation matters in your life, whether you believe in it or not, and whether
you are conflicted by the morality of it or not. This is why manipulation is
essential if you are hoping to survive your current circumstances:

It gives you back the power in your life. Having been a pawn in the
manipulation games of individuals, corporates and even governments,
you can take back ownership of your life by becoming manipulative.
Consider it your subtle and small-scale rebellion against the system.
It makes you more productive. Instead of sitting and waiting for
things to happen, you can go out and make them happen. Life does
not give you everything you want on a silver platter. Life can indeed
be very unfair is you are constantly playing nice and warming the
bench. Be one of the key players by getting people to meet your
demands.
It makes you feel better about yourself. Imagine being able to get
anything that you wanted. How would that make you feel? Confident?
Most likely. After years of hearing no, it would feel pretty great to
hear yes on a more regular basis.
It helps you create a network of ‘friends’ that you can rely on to solve
your problems. Social and professional networks always come in
handy. After all, man cannot exist in isolation. When manipulating
people, you will often present yourself as a trustworthy friend who
can be called upon in business and personal matters. This is important
for your own advancement.
Manipulation allows you to do less legwork. Imagine being able to
achieve your dreams without getting exhausted? Dreamy, right?
Right. If you manipulate the right people into being your helpers, you
can accomplish all your goals without getting worn out.
Being manipulative protects you from manipulation. You already
know what tactics to look out for, and nobody will be able to outwit
you unless you let them win on purpose.

The world is a cruel place that is not intended for softies and
pushovers. Nobody said that playing fair was going to get you the
things that you want. Understanding and applying manipulation
techniques in your life allows you to be properly prepared to survive
in the harsh environment of a majorly capitalistic world.
Manipulative people are often charming and leave smiles on the faces
of the people they interact with. Essentially, being manipulative might
help you to make other people happier. Yes, their joy might be short-
lived, but it will be joy all the same. And remember, if you play your
cards right, you will never have to worry about their joy is short-lived
mainly because they will never catch onto you.
 By learning how to be manipulative, you will be joining in the ranks
of great men and women who learned how to be manipulative years
ago and used it to their advantage. There is no pushover that has ever
made it to the history books. The people who capture the hearts and
minds of historians have one thing in common: they know what they
want, and they use all means at their disposal, manipulation included,
to achieve this.
Manipulation forces you to use your brain all the time. All your
interactions have to be well processed by your mind, and every move
that you make must be strategic. It is like being in an exciting and
never-ending game of chess. This sharpens your brain, and you can
use this brain power to better other areas in your life.

Conclusion
You will agree with the assessment that manipulation is everywhere in our daily
lives. Even while you sleep, there is a brand somewhere that is looking to
unleash their manipulative marketing campaign with the goal of making you
spend your money. While you slave away at work at the mercy of your boss,
there is often no guarantee that you will get a promotion. In your personal
relationships, there is probably someone who is pretending to be your friend but
is only looking out for themselves. It almost seems like whichever way you turn,
there is someone waiting to influence your next move. This can be quite
overwhelming.

Being manipulated does not feel good. Knowing that everything you thought
was true was an altered reality created by a manipulative person makes you feel
betrayed and, often times, stupid. You wonder why you did not see the red flags
and what you could have done differently. The truth of the matter is that however
smart you think you are, there is always someone who believes they can
outsmart you. Enter your new manipulation methods.

You do not have to sit back and watch other people take control and get what
you want when you can do it yourself. Influencing other people into fulfilling
your desires is well within your reach if you internalize and incorporate the
teachings and methods of this book. It might seem like an uphill climb,
especially if you are used to giving other people what they want and getting
nothing in return, but it really is not. Learning how to manipulate people is not
something that should overwhelm you. It only feels overwhelming now because
you are learning all these new things all at once. With time and practice, the
things you have learned will become second nature. You will find yourself
smiling and flirting without even thinking about it.

Start the work from within--working on your body language, presentation,

communication techniques--and then apply the outcome to the external
environment. You will be surprised how much more you can gain from people
and the world around you if you subtly manipulate them. Becoming a master
manipulator will take you longer than a few days, but it will be worth the work
and the wait. Remember, as long as you are not hurting anyone who does not
deserve to be hurt, you are well within your rights to manipulate your way to the
success that you have always envisioned for yourself!

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