12.

Relationship Building
 Topics :

•What we mean by ‘close’ relationships.

• The variation in the way in which parent–child

relationships can be classified.

•The influence of the internet on relationships.

 Classification of relationships

•Personal vs. social dimension

Relationships high on closeness can be referred to as
personal, and at the low end of this dimension would be
regarded as social.

•Voluntary vs. non-voluntary dimension

“ you can chose your friends but you can’t choose your
family”
Classification of relationships
 The dimension of “closeness”

Degree of interdependence

•Interdependence In a relationship, the degree to

which each partner’s thoughts, emotions and
behaviour influences the other’s.

•The more frequent, diverse and strong the impact

of each person’s thoughts, feelings and behaviour on
the other and the longer the relationship
has lasted, the closer it is.
 The dimension of “closeness”

Intimacy and support

•The extent to which two people understand,
support and care for one another.
Security and welfare
•to provide both members with a sense of security that
their welfare is protected and enhanced by their partner
and will continue to be;
• to provide both members with a sense that they are
responsive to one another’s welfare and will continue to
be.
 Parent-child relationships

System Theory

• places emphasis on the family as a social system

and recognises that, in order to understand
the nature of parent–child relationship, it is
necessary to recognise the interdependence
of all family members.
 Parent-child relationships

Authoritarian child-rearing style - Children are

expected to obey strict rules, given little autonomy,
harshly punished.

Authoritative child-rearing style - Children are given

guidelines and rules which they expected to follow but
are open to discussion. They are given a degree of
autonomy.

Permissive child-rearing style - Children are given

few guidelines or rules and are indulged; there are low
expectations of self-control or self-discipline.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYzlVDlE7
2w
 Parent-child relationships

The attachment approach

Attachment styles influence both people’s trust in
their partner’s support and responsiveness and their
own willingness to offer support.

Parent-child interactional approach

Emphasises the importance of day-to-day parent–child
interactions in influencing a child’s social skills and
relationships.
DISCUSS AND DEBATE

As a child, how did your relationship with your mother

differ from your relationship with your father?

Did they use different parenting styles? Is it possible to say

that one had more influence on you than the other or
were they simply different influences? How did their
influences combine to affect your development?
Sibling relationships
 Sibling relationships

• it is the longest lasting relationship in their lives.

• Brothers and sisters act as confidants, role-models,

socialisation agents and caretakers.

• They also provide financial, emotional and moral

support for each other.
•https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUVUQ5o6c_U
Friendship
 Friendship

•‘A voluntary interdependence between two persons

over time, that is intended to facilitate social-
emotional goals of the participants, and may involve
varying types and degrees of companionship, intimacy,
affection and mutual assistance’.

•This definition emphasises the fact that the primary

motivation for forming a friendship is social-emotional,
to provide companionship and emotional support
rather than instrumental (the achievement of specific
goals)
 Friendship

Changes in friendship with age

• From about the age of 8, children begin to see friends as

people who can be trusted to be loyal, kind, cooperative
and sensitive to the other’s
needs (Pataki et al. 1994).

• In adolescence there is an emphasis on

friends being people who truly understand each other’s
strengths and weaknesses and are willing to confide their
innermost feelings.
 Friendship

• Adults tend to draw their friends from

the immediate neighbourhood and from work; these
relationships are usually less intimate than those
based on early attachments (Argyle & Henderson
1985).
 Friendship

Instrumental friendships

Friendships based on common activities.

Expressive friendships

Friendships based on sharing of emotions.

 Gender differences in
friendship

Sex segregation in friendship starts early. At around

age 3 or 4, children show a preference for same-sex
peers with whom to play and by age 9 or 10, as many
of us will recall from our own childhood, it is an insult
to suggest that a boy likes a girl.
 Gender differences in
friendship

Boys tend to play competitive team games that involve

skills of cooperation, competition and leadership,
whereas the activities enjoyed by girls tend to
emphasize intimacy and exclusiveness (Lever,
1978).

Dunn (2004) refers to boys’ friendships as extensive in

its networks of playmates whilst girls’ friendships are
intensive, consisting of smaller-scale groups or ‘cliques’.
 Gender differences in
friendship

• For women, getting together with friends often takes the

form of asking them over for coffee to discuss personal
matters.

• Men tend to choose friends from people with whom they

share a mutual interest, so that they can enjoy joint
activities such as fishing, watching football or playing a
game of badminton (Sherrod 1989).

• Women in general have higher expectation of friends

than do men and place greater emphasis on intimacy
(Felmlee & Muraco 2009).
DISCUSS AND DEBATE

In a mixed group of men and women/ boys and

girls, discuss whether, in your experience, samesex
friendships between men and women differ
in the ways described above.
Internet relationships
 Internet relationships

• Email, Facebook, MySpace, YouTube, Twitter,

texting are all now an indispensable part of our
everyday lives.

Networked individualism
• The tendency for people to interact on an
individual-to-individual basis of people
networked together rather than interacting on a
group-to-group basis within a tightly knit community.
 Internet relationships

People are becoming alienated from close, rich,

authentic relationships while they forge superficial
(sometimes dishonest) relationships with strangers –
that staring at a computer screen whilst ‘chatting’
has replaced looking at someone’s face in a real-
world situation.

https://www.hongkongfp.com/2018/09/06/hong-kong-woman-cheated-record-
hk180-million-overseas-engineer-met-online/

https://hd.stheadline.com/news/daily/hk/700972/