Drew Celli

COM 491
10/11/2021
Ch5. DP
Chapter five takes a deep dive into interpersonal communication. Interpersonal

communication is described as the communication between two people that in proximity, are

able to use their senses and provide feedback to the receiver. One of the main theories behind

interpersonal communication is the politeness theory. This theory describes how we as

communicators try our best to present a certain image or identity when communicating with

others in close proximity. The one theory in the chapter that interests me the most is the social

exchange theory. The theory describes how people like to examine the costs and benefits when

it comes too deciding whether or not to pursue certain relationships. I think that this is a very

important theory and topic to talk about especially between people that are in high school and

college. We see in our world today people exploring relationships for reasons other than actually

wanting to be with that specific person. Whether it is fame, money, benefits, there are reasons

why people will pursue a certain relationship. However the key to really analyzing the theory is

knowing that it implies that every relationship is going to have benefits and costs. So what the

theory is really arguing is that a person will only pursue the relationship if the benefits of the

relationship outweigh the costs.

The popular culture reference that I feel best applies to the chapter and social exchange

theory is the television program The Bachelor and its sister program The Bachelorette. The

premise of the show is that a group of women are trying to win the heart of a man (the bachelor)

and the concept is vise versa in the bachelorette, with the men pursuing a lone female. However,

there are times where the contestants on the show are appearing on the program for reasons other
than love. We see on almost every season that there a few men or women that are appearing on

the show for other reasons, such as fame and appearance fees. One of the main benefits of the

relationships that they develop on the show is that the longer they are in the competition, the

more time on television they will receive. While there are some contestants who are in fact

participating in spirit with the overall goal and mission of the show, it has been common to see

the social exchange theory being used by others in determining how far they want to go in

pursuing a relationship with the bachelor or bachelorette. It is something that the show is trying

to avoid in future seasons, but it is a confirmed problem that the show is having and it often takes

away from the people that are actually there for the right reasons.

When it comes to discussing the chapter the first question that I would pose is, when

communication with others, especially for the first time, do you find yourself trying to present

yourself as someone who you may not really be? This is an important question to pose because

being college students, we are often finding ourselves meeting new people, and when that

happens we do want to give off a good first impression, especially to the opposite sex. It would

be interesting to see how people approach trying to create an identity that someone would find

more appealing when you are first starting to communicate with someone. The second question

that I would pose to the group is do you find yourself looking at the pros and cons of romantic

relationships before you enter them? I think that the question can be taken in plenty of different

ways, there are some people who are pre determined thinkers and would use the SET before

entering a relationship. On the other hand there are people who sometimes are already in the

relationship before they start determining if the benefits of the relationship are outweighing the

costs of the relationship.