bitter

sweet
asEi
Alp
MR .
asEi
Alp
You were always unpredictable. It was always easy for you to say things that will make
people fall for you. For a month, you made every day special. You never missed a single
"good morning" nor a single "goodnight". You never hesitated to show me a glimpse of
your life. Showing me around, treating me as if I was there with you. It was really special,
and I would be lying if I said that I didn't fall for you.
You were not my ideal; you were different, very different. But, unconciously,
I was willing to give it a try. See where will it go or how long will it last, but
fate has a different plan.
I found out that your heart belonged to someone else. She was the
epitome of everything a man would love about a woman. You two were
perfect and made for each other.
I listened to your story, but my mind was racing, my conscience was
screaming, and my heart was aching. It was the first time in four
years that I felt this sensation again. It was something familiar, yet it
was also something very foreign.

I didn't know how to deal with it. I never

did. So, I run away.
You caught up quickly, and being the unpredictable person that you
are, you told me to stay with you . Confused, I asked why, all you said
was "because I want to...". I wanted to stop, but curiosity won over me,
so I asked again, "what am I to you?" , you said "I don't know".

Stupid as it may be, I stayed . You wished for everything to go back to the
way it was, like a genie, I made your wish come true. Even if it means,
enduring the ache and the screams to stop.

For awhile, the magic worked. Everything was the same as if it was the
very first day. But like all magic, it has its limits .

That day, we had a misunderstanding, the first of many.

A part of me wanted to stop right then and there, but then again, for the
second time, I didn't listen to myself and I chose to stay and fix it.
In the middle of our talk, you caught me off guard when
you asked, "...do you have feelings for me?". I lied and told
asEi
you, "I used to. But, now I don't. So don't worry about it."
Alp
Then I had the urge to ask you again, "Why do you keep on
telling me to stay? What am I to you exactly?". Once again,
you have proven yourself to be unpredictable, you said, "I
have feelings for you too. I'm comfortable talking to you...
I'm happy to share my stories with you. My feelings can't lie
if I like you. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry..."

I felt happy when you said that, but I also felt really guilty.
I know it was wrong, and I know it was unfair for her.
Regardless of how I felt, I had to stop there.

We were fine up to an extent, but we both knew

something already changed . It was nothing like before.

After that, your frequent messages were filled with "I miss you". Wishing for things to go
back to the way it was. Secretly, I also wished the same thing for us , but the magic
was running out, it was almost time.
On that last day, you told me again that you missed me.
I was frustrated the entire time, because I badly wanted to say "I miss you too", but I
couldn't.
I knew where our conversation was heading. I wanted for things to work out, so I asked
you "do you still want to fix this?", you said, "yes, I wan to". I asked you again, "where
should we start?" , you answered, "I don't know".

I felt beaten. My thoughts and my emotions were contradicting each

other. It really hurts, but when you told me that everything was
hurting you, it pained me even more. All I can do was apologize.

I mustered up the courage to be honest with you, drowning all the

screams and the guilt that I felt inside. I explained why things had
to change, and I told you that I didn't want to lose you as a friend.

But I know, I was about to lose you forever.

i
You were unpredictable, even at the very last moment,

asE
Alp
you said, "I had the feeling you would say that to me",
then you left.
I was dumbfounded, hurt, and confused as to what you meant. I tried to solicit an answer from
you but all I can say was, "is that it?", and you didn't respond. My next message was supposed to
be a plea, "please, let's fix this" , were my exact words, but I deleted it afterwards.
I didn't want to lose you, but I know my time was up.
I started reminiscing, reading and memorizing every bit that I could. I know that this is the end,
but I didn't want to forget all that was good.

I meant every single word on that last message. But, I am sorry if I couldn't be
honest about two things, that I fell for you and that I really wanted to stay.

My brief role in your life has come to an end. You were the main
character of this story and I was a side character that wasn't meant
to be with you until the last page.

You will always be my 'once upon a time prince'. A part of my what if's,
and the second muse that brought me back to writing.

You are my bittersweet ending .

Now, I understand what it

asEi
Alp
means to write about someone.
 ENCHANTED
asEi
TAYLOR SWIFT
Alp
 11
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