I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

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HIS ADVENTURE IS GENERIC AND CAN BE ADAPTED TO ANY RULE SYSTEM!

Dedicated to
an outstanding botanist
by the name of Brett,

My inspiration,
a great gardening guru,
and loving husband,

May your journey through


life's forest be free of thorns
and entanglements.
CONTENTS
Cover Page 1

Forward 2

Contents 3

Adventure Details 4

Plot Summary 5

Scene Breakdown 6

Moral Situations 7

Challenges 8

Scenes 9 – 19

Creatures 20 – 27

Bibliography 28
ADVENTURE DETAILS

Character Recommendations
Class: Any
Experience Level: Moderate
Race: Humanoid
Size: Party of 5

Creatures
All creatures in this adventure are original and plant-
based; see the “Creatures” section of the module for
additional detail.

Estimated Runtime
2 hours and 40 minutes

Scene Structure
Each scene contains a guideline of how long that scene
should take, a detailed description of the environment,
an opportunity for free form player interaction and the
party's goal in that particular scene.
PLOT SUMMARY
After months of being on the road, the party finds
themselves in the sleepy little hamlet of Borderglade,
nestled up against Barberry Creek Forest. While sitting in
the only tavern, they hear that the Duke is desperate for a
direct trade route to the nearest town, Kaffir Trading
Outpost. There is a path through the woods, but none who
have attempted it have ever been heard from again. The
Duke is offering 1,000 gold pieces to the first party who
takes the path and survives.

The forest has been guarded for millennia by a druid-


turned-into-massive-thorned-redwood-bipedal-creature. No
one knows about him because he kills any humanoid who
violates his domain. He has left a path through the woods
as a tempting trap for the brave and the foolhardy.

The creature is ancient and patient and will wait for days
after the party enters the woods before animating huge
trees to generate subsonic sounds to keep the party awake,
exhausting them. He will wait days longer before animating
plants to engage the party in combat. Eventually, he will
take matters into his own hands and attack the party
directly.

The party doesn't have enough time to leave the forest


before the sounds drive them mad; they will need to locate
the source of the sounds and put a stop to it/them.

When the party defeats the creature and continues their


travels, they will meet a group of adventurers, coming from
the other direction, heading toward Borderglade and the
reward money. What will the party do?
SCENE BREAKDOWN
Scn Place Min Scene Detail

1 Hamlet 10 Prepare for journey, train, rest, procure

2 Tunnel 10 Begin journey, discuss reward money

3 Tunnel 20 Chasm blocks path, discuss cheating

4 Tunnel 20 Disturbing noises, discuss noises

5 Tunnel 10 No sleep, rain, mud river blocks path

6 Tunnel 10 No sleep, swamp, discuss swamp

7 Tunnel 10 No sleep, exit swamp, find ruins

8 Ruins 20 No sleep, thorny attack

9 Ruins 20 No sleep, thorny and fungi attack

10 Ruins 20 No sleep, final combat

11 Tunnel 10 Encounter other party


Moral Situations
During the course of this adventure, the characters will
encounter several scenarios that will force them to explore
their own conscience, principles and scruples.

#1: In Scene 1, the party needs to outfit themselves to the


best of their ability for their journey in this tiny remote
hamlet. Do they have enough money? They may have to
steal. What will the party do?

#2: In Scene 3, the party debates whether they should


actually make the entire trek through the woods, or else
camp out in the woods for a few weeks, go back to
Borderglade and lie to the Duke. What will the party do?

#3: In Scene 11, the party encounters another group of


adventurers, heading toward Borderglade. If they get there
before the party does, they will win the reward money.
What will the party do?

#4: After the game, the storyteller informs the players that
they were the antagonists, not the creature. They just
killed the protector of the world's largest forest. Now
humanoids will start traveling through the woods, cutting
down trees, starting fires and leaving waste behind. What
has the party done?
Challenges
During the course of this adventure, the characters will be
confronted with various types of challenges that will test a
wide range of skills and abilities.

Combat

Defend against attacks.

Competition

Be the first to complete the journey and get your reward.

Environmental

Survive unassisted in hostile woodlands for ten days.

Investigation

Figure out why no one who enters the forest ever returns.

Stamina

Function despite exhaustion penalties due to lack of sleep.

Team Building

Work together in order to overcome challenges.


SCENE ONE
Expected Runtime

10 minutes

Environment Description

Nestled up against Barberry Creek Forest, Borderglade


is a timeless farming hamlet straight out of a
storybook. Barely qualifying as a community, it
consists of a dozen farms surrounding a tavern and a
general store. The scent of the nearby cedar and pine
trees mingle with the aroma of the tavern's special,
Shepherd's Pie with peppercorns. During the day, the
farm fields are full of the laughter of playing children.
At night, when fog rolls across the fields and all the
buildings' windows are candle-lit, the place looks
positively magical.

Free Form Play Opportunity

The players have 10 minutes to generate 1) a list of all


the supplies they need and 2) an explanation of how
they plan to procure each item. Remember,
Borderglade is remote and will have only farm supplies
for sale. The party needs to decide if they want to beg,
borrow, charm, con or steal. How moral is this party?

Immediate Goal(s)

Prepare for a 10-day-long journey through dense,


thorny woods with the meager resources you can
scrounge up in this tiny, remote hamlet.
SCENE TWO
Expected Runtime

10 minutes

Environment Description

The party is walking through a 20'-diameter tunnel in


the woods. The scents of pine and cedar are powerful
in your nostrils. The edges of the tunnel are covered
with the densest vines and thorns you have ever seen;
any character who attempts to leave the trail will take
piercing damage and be stuck. The tunnel walls are
dense enough to block out the sun and anything big
enough to eat, so you anticipate a cold, hungry night.
Wait...is it already night?

Free Form Play Opportunity

When the party stops to make camp and rest, the


players will take 10 minutes to discuss what each
character plans to do with their share of the reward
monies.

Immediate Goal(s)

Travel as far as you possibly can through the woods.


SCENE THREE
Expected Runtime

20 minutes

Environment Description

The darkness of the tunnel is starting to get to the


party and it has gotten noticeably colder. There is
almost no variation between day and night here, so
both are quickly blending together. About midday, the
party sees light up ahead! There is a chasm 20' across
that the party must work together in order to cross.
Once they manage to get across, they reluctantly say
goodbye to the sun and continue their journey through
the darkness. Few words pass among the characters;
with plenty of time to think, each one starts to wonder
to themselves what has kept this tunnel open for so
many years.

Free Form Play Opportunity

Midday, the party encounters a chasm 20 feet across


blocking their path; the players take 10 minutes to
figure out how to get across.

When the party stops to make camp and rest, one of


them suggests to the others that they could simply
stay here for 20 days and then return and claim
they had made the trip. The players spend 10 minutes
discussing how their characters feels about such a
suggestion.

Immediate Goal(s)

Travel as far as you possibly can through the woods.


SCENE FOUR
Expected Runtime

10 minutes

Environment Description

The party starts to hear strange noises in the distance.


They are barely audible, but sound unnatural. What
the party doesn't realize is that it will not be possible
to get any productive REM sleep while those noises are
being generated.

Free Form Play Opportunity

When the party stops to make camp and rest, the


players should spend 10 minutes speculating what
might be making those strange noises.

Immediate Goal(s)

Travel as far as you possibly can through the woods.


SCENE FIVE

Expected Runtime

10 minutes

Environment Description

Those bizarre noises kept you awake all night and you
are exhausted; all rolls are penalized today. As soon
as you break camp, a great clap of thunder
reverberates through the forest for a full minute. A
drop of rain hits the ground at your feet. Then, five
seconds later, it starts to rain really hard and it
doesn't let up for the entire day. Hours later, still
pouring, you see daylight up ahead! The torrential
deluge has carved a temporary rapid river across the
path, 30 feet wide, allowing you to see the sky. The
party will have to find a way across. When they set up
camp for the night, they will be facing another
sleepless night, as the noises have persisted all day.

Free Form Play Opportunity

The party encounters a new muddy river 30 feet


across, blocking the path. The players should take
about 10 minutes to figure out a way across. Keep in
mind that at this point, it is still pouring and the
ground is very deep with mud.

Immediate Goal(s)

Travel as far as you possibly can through the woods.


SCENE SIX
Expected Runtime

10 minutes

Environment Description

Those bizarre noises kept you awake all night again


and you are exhausted; all rolls are penalized again
today. You are still walking through this tunnel
through the thorns. It never seems to stop. No
animals, no sunlight...you're starting to question
whether or not your reward is worth this level of effort.
Of course, if you decide to just leave the woods without
investigating the noises and stopping them, you will be
bombarded with them for days and your sanity might
not survive that long. You're kind of committed at this
point.

Free Form Play Opportunity

When the party stops to make camp and rest, the


players spend 10 minutes acting sleep deprived and
griping at each other for imagined slights.

Immediate Goal(s)

Travel as far as you possibly can through the woods.


SCENE SEVEN
Expected Runtime

10 minutes

Environment Description

Those bizarre noises kept you awake all night again


and you are exhausted; all rolls are penalized again
today. You are starting to develop physical tics and
twitches from extreme exhaustion.

About midday (although you can't be sure), you see


light up ahead! There is a small clearing containing
some stone ruins.

Free Form Play Opportunity

Before the party settles in for another sleepless night,


the players should spend 10 minutes trying to figure
out what happened to the people who used to live
here. Where did they go? How long have they been
gone?

Immediate Goal(s)

Travel as far as you possibly can through the woods.


SCENE EIGHT
Expected Runtime

10 minutes

Environment Description

Between sleeping against a rock wall and those ***


noises, you are extremely exhausted; all rolls are
heavily penalized today.

Free Form Play Opportunity

Combat: When the party approaches the edge of the


clearing, rose vines will wrap around an appendage of
one of the party and drag him/her 100 feet into a ring
of 12 awakened shrubs, who attempt to pierce and
rake the party member to death.

Immediate Goal(s)

Defend yourself against attack.


SCENE NINE
Expected Runtime

10 minutes

Environment Description

Between sleeping against a rock wall and those ***


noises, you are extremely exhausted; all rolls are
heavily penalized today.

Free Form Play Opportunity

Combat: When the party approaches the edge of the


clearing, 6 honey locust trees will uproot and walk
toward the party, herding them toward an area full of
holes. These holes lead to an underground cavern 20
feet tall. The cavern is lined with mushrooms, fungus
and algae that cause the party to hallucinate, lose
their memories and even temporarily exchange their
highest and lowest attributes.

Immediate Goal(s)

Defend yourself against attack.


SCENE TEN
Expected Runtime

10 minutes

Environment Description

Between sleeping against a rock wall and those ***


noises, you are extremely exhausted; all rolls are
heavily penalized today.

Free Form Play Opportunity

Combat: When the party approaches the edge of the


clearing, Reddthornne will appear, raise his arms and
awaken a honey locust tree. If/when the party defeats
that tree, Reddthornne will awaken 2 more trees, then
4, then 8 and so on. The party will need to attack
Reddthornne directly or else he will keep awakening
plants and eventually the party will be overwhelmed.

Immediate Goal(s)

Defend yourself against attack.


SCENE ELEVEN
Expected Runtime

10 minutes

Environment Description

After a good night's sleep without the maddening


noises harassing you, the thorn-lined tunnel no longer
seems so cold, dark and foreboding. Your spirits are
high as you continue your trek.

Free Form Play Opportunity

As they continue on their way to Kaffir, the party


encounters another party of adventurers, heading the
other way, towards Borderglade. The other party will
reach Borderglade and receive the gold reward. The
players should spend 10 minutes discussing how they
want to deal with this situation.

Immediate Goal(s)

Prevent the other adventurers from getting the reward


for which you worked so hard.
Captivating Climbing Rose

Attributes

Physically very high, non-physically nonexistent

Vulnerabilities

Cold, fire, ice

Mobility

This plant is rooted in the ground but has a long reach.

Self-Awareness

Neither aware nor intelligent, but will move at


Reddthornne's direction when he “Awakens” it.

Physical Description

Two-inch diameter vines, 10,000 pounds, 1,000 feet


long. When “Awakened”, it can stretch its vines along
the ground for up to 100 feet in order to entangle its
prey.

Action(s)

Grapple. Wrap a vine around the target's appendage,


sinking 3-inch-long thorns into it, causing piercing
damage when grabbing and causing piercing damage
again upon release.
Awakened Silverthorn
Attributes

Moderate strength and constitution, low dexterity

Vulnerabilities

Cold, fire, ice

Mobility

This shrub is rooted in the ground but has a 10-foot


reach.

Self-Awareness

This shrub is not typically self-aware. However, when


“Awakened”, it develops a rudimentary intelligence,
allowing it to speak if directed to do so.

Physical Description

This plant is a silverthorn 15 feet high, 15 feet wide


and 500 pounds. Its branches are covered with 2-
inch-long thorns.

Action(s)

Rake. Swing branches at the target, doing slashing


damage.
Pierce. Raked targets are likely to also take piercing
damage.
Hostile Honey Locust
Attributes

High strength and constitution, low dexterity

Self-Awareness

This tree is not typically self-aware. However, when


“Awakened”, it develops a rudimentary intelligence,
allowing it to speak if directed to do so.

Physical Description

This tree is 50 feet tall, 50 feet wide and weighs


100,000 pounds. Its trunk and all of its branches are
densely covered in thorns, which reach up to 8 inches
in length and 2 inches in diameter at the base.

Action(s)

Slam. Swing boughs at the target, causing


bludgeoning damage.
Pierce. Slammed targets are very likely pierced.
Skewer. Slammed targets are likely skewered and
stuck to the tree.

Vulnerabilities

Cold, fire, ice

Mobility

When “Awakened”, this tree can uproot itself and walk.


Bittersweet Blight
Attributes

All attributes are minimal.

Self-Awareness

This fungus is neither intelligent nor self-aware.

Physical Description

This fungus looks like shiny Mandarin-orange-colored


caviar. It can grow and spread to a limitless size, as
long as it has the correct environmental conditions in
which to thrive. It is fatal if ingested.

Action(s)

Burst. Spray spores at any mammal within 3 feet.


Any target that gets spores on it will hallucinate
heavily until it is removed. Prolonged exposure will
decrease the target's intelligence temporarily and
extended visions will lower it permanently. Target
constitution plays a factor in resisting this effect.

Vulnerabilities

Cold, fire, ice

Mobility

This fungus can grow, spread and release spores but


otherwise does not move.
Jade Juxtaposition
Attributes

All attributes are minimal.

Self-Awareness

This mushroom is neither intelligent nor self-aware.

Physical Description

This mushroom is 12 inches tall, 6 inches wide, it has


a white stem and a cap that is white on the bottom
and Kelly green on the top with white spots in a
splatter pattern. It can grow and spread to a limitless
size, as long as it has the correct environmental
conditions in which to thrive. It is edible and tastes
like a shiitake mushroom with hints of allspice.

Action(s)

Ability Switch. Any target that comes within 1 inch


exchanges their highest and lowest attributes for 1
hour. Target constitution plays a factor in resisting
this effect.

Vulnerabilities

Cold, fire, ice

Mobility

This mushroom can grow and spread but otherwise


does not move.
Whatsitsname
Attributes

All attributes are minimal.

Self-Awareness

This fungus is neither intelligent nor self-aware.

Physical Description

This fungus looks like a beet-red honeycomb. It can


grow and spread to a limitless size, as long as it has
the correct environmental conditions in which to
thrive. It is unknown whether or not it is edible.

Action(s)

Burst. Spray spores at any mammal within 3 feet.


Any target that gets spores on it will lose their most
recent 5 minutes of memory. Target constitution plays
a factor in resisting this effect.

Vulnerabilities

Cold, fire, ice

Mobility

This fungus can grow and spread but otherwise does


not move.
Reddthornne
Attributes

All attributes are high.

Self-Awareness

Highly intelligent, sentient and self-aware

Physical Description

Bipedal redwood tree wrapped in blackberries,


barberrys, roses and massive thorns. He is 100 feet
tall, 30 feet wide and weighs 250,000 pounds. An
intense eldritch indigo light emanates from his deep
eye holes. The roses make him look funny and
beautiful but he is terrifying to behold.

Action(s)

Slam. Swing his arms at the target, causing


bludgeoning damage.
Pierce. Slammed targets are very likely pierced.
Skewer. Pierced targets are likely skewered and stuck
to his arm.
Recruit. “Awaken” plants within the forest to do his
bidding.

Vulnerabilities

Cold, fire, ice

Mobility

He moves slowly so as not to damage any plants in the forest.


BIBLIOGRAPHY
Cover page art from https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-
up-of-green-leaves-1546027/ .

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