Christine Ajayi

NUTR 4351- Baylor University

Writing Sample

This writing sample is a detailed book review summarizing the chapters of Your Child’s Weight:
Helping Without Harming (Birth Through Adolescence) by Ellyn Satter. In addition, a discussion
on the strengths and weaknesses of the book have been included.

Book Review

Your Child’s Weight: Helping Without Harming (Birth Through Adolescence) by Ellyn

Satter - MS, RD, LCSW, BCD. 2005, KelyPress, 472 pages.

Your Child’s Weight: Helping Without Harming is an educational guide and resource

focused on childhood and adolescent nutrition. The book provides detailed information, evidence

based research, as well as encouragement and strategies, in order to help parents in feeding and

raising healthy individuals.

The idea of feeding children may appear to be a simple act for parents, but there is great

complexity and responsibility behind this task. Parents are educated on the impact of their intent

and bias that may negatively influence the child. In addition, parents are informed of how to

create a positive feeding environment for their children throughout each life stage. Parents are

encouraged to support their children in creating healthy lifestyle habits of their own by

establishing a successful foundation early in childhood. In addition, within the work, Satter

focuses not on what is eaten, but on how feeding takes place within the home and even within

schools. The focus for parents is providing, rather than depriving the child. Parents are instructed

to allow the child to decide how much they desire to eat. In addition to overall diet, Your Child’s

Weight: Helping Without Harming discusses physical activity and exercise. Ellyn Satter guides

parents throughout each life stage, presenting practical information to transform and impact the

minds of parents who have a hefty task on their hands.

 Within the first chapter of the book, Satter discusses the importance of helping without

harming when it comes to feeding children. The author details that parents may unintentionally

impose their own intent and views on the child “all in the name of love”. She points out that this

may do great damage. As parents indirectly impose their views and ideals of health on the child,

the child is left feeling unloved and may suffer emotionally. This ideal is evident when food is

purposefully restricted. Satter writes, “to a child, not getting enough to eat feels very much like

not getting enough love” (Satter 176). From the child’s perspective it seems the love they need is

also being stripped away. In addition, it is detailed that when a child is restricted from specific

foods or given restricted portions, with the intention to control eating and drive the child’s weight

loss, this can result in an unhealthy preoccupation with food. The child is now deprived and

seeks food of all kinds to get the energy he/she needs. Furthermore, the child now overeats and is

susceptible to increased weight gain. Satter describes this phenomenon extensively and provides

evidence based research to properly defend the ideals presented. The first chapter is

eye-opening as it informs parents of the negative impacts of restricting a child’s overall intake.

Chapter 2 focuses on practical ways in which parents can utilize the information from the

opening chapter. Here, Satter defines the “Division of Responsibility in Feeding” that parents

should apply within the home. The author informs readers that parents are responsible for the

what, when, and where in feeding, while the child is responsible for how much and if the food

is eaten. This is an interesting principle and new to most readers. The principle is described in

great detail with additional tips for incidences where the practice poses a challenge or even fails.

Within this chapter, a significant discussion that Satter brings to the table is that the child needs

to be able to fully trust that food will always be available. This notion has deeper significance,

and demonstrates how the child needs to have an overwhelming trust and inner knowledge that
the parent will provide in every area. On the other hand, the parent must trust the child will eat

only what is necessary.

Within Chapter 3, additional tips and pointers are offered. The major factor within this

chapter is the concept and activity of engaging in family meals. It is detailed that family meals

must be made a priority as there are countless benefits. Family meals increase the unity of the

family and allow every family member to be seen and heard. This is a time to unite and even

decompress, divulging information and conversing on various topics, even if young children are

present at the table. In addition, Satter notes that family meals will provide structure in feeding

and aid the child socially, emotionally and academically. Through this pleasant environment and

structure provided, Satter emphasizes that the child will grow in the proper way, a way that is

right for that individual child.

Chapter 4 turns to the topic of food selection. Here, it is important to note that Satter does

not fixate on what is being eaten but on how the food is being provided. This is an interesting

aspect of the book, as one would assume that healthy options should be emphasized and

unhealthy options completely cut from the diet. The author completely challenges this notion,

causing readers to evaluate how food is fed rather than the particulars of what food it is. While

nutrition is emphasized, it is not the focal point. Satter states that “children gain too much weight

because of how they are fed, not what they are fed” (Satter VI). For example, if a child is

constantly fed in a fast paced environment and eats on the go, this can contribute to mindless

eating, grazing, and increased energy intake, thus leading to weight gain. Satter causes parents to

evaluate how feeding is done and details proper strategies to ensure the child eats the appropriate

amount.
 Chapter 5 discusses how to optimize feeding from birth through preschool. Here, several

stages within this overarching stage are highlighted. Satter provides parents with practical tools

to combat common pitfalls or problems that may arise. A key detail is the need for parents to

understand that there must be a distinction between feeding and the child’s feelings/ emotions as

well as ensuring to make a distinction between comfort and sleep from feeding, for the infant.

Satter desires for parents to understand that hunger cues should be at the forefront and will aid

the child in eating the proper amount for his/her physiological needs.

Chapter 6 details feeding the school-age child and how to optimize this experience. The

author suggests that eating looks a bit different now, as the child will be outside of the home for a

large portion of the day. Satter emphasizes that healthy eating patterns and habits should be

established early in order for the child to maintain these practices even when in the outside

world. This chapter discusses the changes that take place and how parents can give more

responsibility to the child and make his/her own decisions, when the appropriate time comes.

Giving the child more responsibility will aid the child in feeding as well as increase the trust

needed between child and parent.

Similar to Chapter 6, Chapter 7 describes how to optimize feeding for the adolescent. The

child’s growth and development are discussed, as these factors may influence one’s eating. Early

in adolescence the child is influenced by peers, while later on the adolescent forms ideals of who

they will be as adults. They are said to “find” themselves. Satter discusses common themes

within this stage as a marker for parents. With this type of knowledge, parents can better

understand their child and feed properly. Satter details that the parent should maintain the

structure of family meals, but also give the child responsibility in feeding themselves
appropriately. This ideal relates to helping the child with their own intuitive eating capabilities

and even beginning to have them help in food preparation.

In contrast to a discussion of feeding, Chapter 8 switches to a conversation involving

physical activity. It is noted that similar to a parent restricting food for the child’s weight loss,

that the parent must refrain from pushing their child into activities and exercise as a means to

reduce weight. The parent should provide opportunities for activity, but should never force the

child to engage in activities that he/she does not desire to do.

Chapter 9 is a key chapter, as it fixates on the parent and child relationship. The parent

has the role of teaching their child to “be all they can be” (Satter 291). It is noted that the parent

should work to support and build their child’s physical and emotional self esteem. This may be

easier with a smaller child, but with a larger child, this notion must be at the forefront. The parent

must accept the large child in order for the large child to maintain positive thoughts about

oneself. The parent must continue to feed properly and maintain a positive, honest, and accepting

attitude to counter the unrealistic body ideals established in society.

Lastly, Chapter 10 focuses on knowledge and understanding of growth charts. Satter

writes to “read this chapter when you have the need” or simply, when it comes time to interpret

your child’s growth (Satter 323). It is important for the parent to be familiar with growth charts

and with what the data is saying, especially if they see that their child may be “off the mark”.

The parent should also have somewhat of an understanding of how to interpret information from

health professionals. Furthermore, the author writes that it is important to distinguish between

normal growth and abnormal growth and provides information to properly do so. Satter details

BMI-Age charts, length measurements, and bell shaped curves, describing what to look for and
what these data may represent. The author provides valuable information and real life examples

for parents to review and learn from.

Within the work, each life stage is addressed in addition to a discussion on physical

activity and understanding of growth charts. These aspects strengthen the book. It is important

that each life stage is addressed as there are significant changes that may result for the child that

would alter feeding. In addition to thorough explanations throughout the life stages, Satters

provides stories and evidence based information to provide parents with solid ground. It is

comforting to know that other parents may face the same difficulties and even more reassuring

when facts and statements are backed by research. Addition of research and an explanation on

growth charts provides parents with confidence to move forward and make necessary changes

within the home if required.

Although each life stage is addressed, a weakness of the work would be its repetitive

nature. Similar topics are addressed within each chapter, providing great information but

continuing to circle and expound upon topics already addressed. Although parts of the work were

repetitive, throughout my reading of this book, my mind was transformed on the responsibility

and role that parents play in raising children in terms of nutrition and an evaluation of intent. I

would recommend this book to parents struggling with feeding their children and those simply

seeking to create a positive home that is successful when it comes to feeding.

Ellyn Satters successfully achieves the goals and purpose stated behind the intent of her

writing within this book. This book is a personable and easy read. It feels as if the author is

consulting with an individual one on one, providing realistic guidelines as well as encouragement

to parents in order for their children to live life to the fullest. I found the book to be very

intriguing as I am not yet a parent, but desired to read about struggles and successes when it
came to feeding children. Before reading this book, I thought feeding was a much simpler task

and was unaware of how parents could possibly do great harm without having ill intent.

Your Child’s Weight (Helping Without Harming) is a helpful read. As a future registered

dietitian, I would utilize information from this book as I consult with various parents. I would

highly recommend this book to parents struggling with feeding their children and to those simply

seeking to create an environment that is successful in feeding and in the proper growth of their

child.