Lauren Perez

Professor Nelson

ENGL 1302

12/1/2021

Instructor Feedback

Feedback from Rubric

Controlling Idea 
B | Text presents a revelatory controlling idea that guides the text, supported with the use
of relevant sub-claims that further the author’s purpose/ intended meaning of the text.

Evidence 
B | Text presents evidence in a logical manner and has been chosen based on relevance to
the controlling idea and ability to further the controlling idea/author’s purpose.

Description 
A- | Text presents a clear understanding of the concept of research. Text also presents
evidence that demonstrates this understanding.

Genre Competence (Researched Position) 

B | Text presents a clear understanding of the position paper genre used and the intended
audience. Text clearly understands his/her purpose and uses the genre as such.

Style, Grammar and the Writing Process 

B+ | Style and grammar are mostly appropriate for the assigned genre and audience. Text
appears to have benefitted from proofreading and editing.

Instructor Comments:

I have turned on Track Changes in your document and formatted it correctly (but not entirely—
check your citations) so that you can see what it should look like. You can “Accept Changes” to
keep this formatting.

Margin comments:

In Introduction:
 Use sources to help support the points being made in introduction
In Roles in Society and Culture:
 Needed sources to back up my statements
 Grammar mistakes
 Better transitioning

In Religion:
 Needed sources to cite my sentences to support
 Unclear statements
 Needed to specify what religion I am making a connection to

In Fixed Mindset and Growth Mindset:

 Clear topic sentences
 Better transitions
 Sources to support my ideas

In Grief:
 Create a connection from the previous paragraph to grief
 Stronger topic sentence

In Work Cited:
 Not entirely in MLA format