Lauren Perez

Professor Nelson

ENGL 1302

12/1/2021

Peer-Review Feedback

My questions for Essay three for Peer review:

1. do you think the topic sentence was a good hook? 

2. what should I add more into the introduction?

3. is there any unnecessary information?

4. how does the introduction sound? 

5. does it sound argumentative?

A student’s feedback:

1. Yes I think the topic sentence does a good job of supporting the rest of the introduction.

2. Maybe some kind of evidence / supported information about the claims you're making. That
and double spacing the document (idk if it's double spaced or not i'm on a phone i'm not sure if it
comes out correct lol)

3. I don't believe there isn't any necessary information, but i'm sure the information you do have
presented could be better explained / pitched.

4. The intro is strong, it's a topic you start reading and people get curious to see what the results /
discussion will be about!

5. The intro does make the passage sound like it'd be argumentative

Another student’s feedback:

1. the topic sentnece did have a good it creates curiosity to keep reading more 
2. maybe examples of the hardships that come with the topic of your essay that you can base
paragraphs off of incase you struggle with finding reasons for the body of your essay 
3. all the information in the essay is good allows the reader to visualize what your saying 
4. the introduction sounds good i dont think any changes should be made 
5. yes the essay is argumentative because you state that it creates a toxic enviroment and
different points can be made from that