IELTS teacher: Nguyễn Dương _ Claire

FB: https://www.facebook.com/NekoSuiyou

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a 'gap year'; before they begin
work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an
expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is a new trend that many youngsters want to take a gap year to travel before going to work or
study. While some people say it is a waste of money, I believe that pursuing a gap year provides
worthwhile benefits to students.

On one hand, there are two reasons why young people should not travel in gap year. Firstly,
students may get in debt because of traveling. Transportation and accommodation expenses
require a huge amount of money which could be a burden to travelers and might drive them
deeper into debt. Secondly, the gappers might lose the motivation to maintain formal education
or daily job. In fact, after a long time of break, the gappers might find hard to readapt to the
normal routine, especially the impractical theories in classes or the repetitive tasks in office jobs.
Such challenges could let these people disoriented in their life.

On the other hand, I believe that it is more beneficial for students to take a break. To begin with,
the invaluable benefit of taking gap year is independence. Most of youngsters are lack of financial
self-control and decision-making skills because of living with parents. Therefore, a sufficient
break time could be a need for them to gain more confidence and grow up as mature adults.
Furthermore, travelers can gain more actual knowledge than they do in any classes. Spending
some time in a country while working is a great opportunity for the youth to increase naturally the
working experience and learn new languages. Such vital skills can be an important advantage in a
more international oriented economy. 

In conclusion, the matter of whether students should take taking a deferred year is subjected
to receive different views. from people, in In my opinion, young people should step out of
comfort zone and challenges themselves to find their true passions.

(291 words)

Original Problem Recommendation

Introduction
Many youngsters want to have a Câu này bị dài dòng Rút gọn các cụm:
space in time to travel before - to have a space in time
going to work or study in the - study in the higher
higher education institutes. education institutes
While some people say it is a - Nên viết lại một số cụm từ - it is a wasting money habit
wasting money habit, I believe that - gap year không phải là habit  it is a waste of money
pursuing a gap year provides
worthwhile benefits to students.
Body 1
On one hand, there are two
reasons why young people should
not travel in gap year.
IELTS teacher: Nguyễn Dương _ Claire
FB: https://www.facebook.com/NekoSuiyou
Firstly, students may get in debt
because of traveling.
Transportation and
accommodation expenses require
a huge amount of money which is a
burden to travelers and might
drive them deeper into debt.
Secondly, the gapers might lose
the motivation to maintain the
formal education or daily job.
In fact, the impractical theories in
classes or the repetitive tasks in
working could become an obstacle
for people to adapt after a long
time of break.
Such challenges will make these
gapers disorienting in living their
life.
Body 2
On the other hand, I believe that it
is more beneficial for students to
take a time break.
To begin with, the valuable benefit
of taking gap is independence.
Most of youngsters are lack
financial self-control and decision-
making skills because of living with
parents.
Therefore, a considerable break
could be a great time for them gain
more confidence and grow up as
mature men.
Furthermore, travelers can gain
true knowledge than any classes.
Spending some time in a country
while working is a great
opportunity for the youngers to
absorb naturally the working
experience and language skills.
Such vital skills can be an important
- Tránh sử dụng từ mang tính
khẳng định đối với những
câu nêu trường hợp giả định
(i.e. không phải trải nghiệm
cá nhân của người viết)
- Gaper sai chính tả
- mạo từ “the” thứ 3 dùng sai
- in working là cách dùng từ
không tự nhiên
- will make => Các từ mang
tính khẳng định
- valuable: giá trị
- invaluable: vô giá (nhấn
mạnh cực kỳ giá trị)
- Sai ngữ pháp
- Cách viết thiếu tự nhiên
- Thiếu giới từ
- Men là từ quá hẹp nghĩa.
Thế còn women?
- true knowledge chưa chính
xác. Kiến thức trong sách vở
cũng có thể là true (thật)
- The youngers dùng ko chính
xác do không có đối tượng
so sánh
- Dùng từ absorb không tự
nhiên
- skills và an advantage
- is  could be
 gappers
 formal education là danh
từ chung chung  ko có the
 of office jobs
 có thể viết lại câu và sửa
disorienting =>
disorientation. Bỏ từ living.
 take a break: thành ngữ
“tạm nghỉ”
i.e. take a break from
academic career to
experience life
 gap year: thành ngữ
- lack (N) + of
e.g..: many people are lack of
money
- lack (V)
e.g.: Many people lack
money
- sufficient break time + a
great time  a great
opportunity (nên dùng từ
khác thay cho great để tăng
hiệu quả của câu)
- Men + Women = citizen,
adult,…
 actual: thực tế
 the youth, the young
generation,…
 increase … and learn …
IELTS teacher: Nguyễn Dương _ Claire
FB: https://www.facebook.com/NekoSuiyou

advantage in a more international không phù hợp với nhau (số

oriented economy.
Conclusion
In conclusion, taking a defer year
have different views from people,
it seems to me that young people
should step out comfort zone and
challenges themselve to find their
true passions.
ít số nhiều)
- defer là động từ
- have là cách dùng từ quá
đơn giản
- “It seems to me” thể hiện
một ý mới so với câu trước.
Đây cũng không phải cách
viết phù hợp
 deferred
 receive, is objected to,…
 In my personal view, from
my point of view, in my
opinion,…