Lauren Perez

Professor Nelson
ENGL 1302
12/1/2021
Instructor Feedback

Minimum Requirement Evaluation

To earn the minimum grade of a C, your essay must…

1. Be in MLA format—Almost
2. Be on time—Yes
3. Have been peer reviewed in workshops—Yes
4. Meet the page requirements (1,200-1,500 words)—Yes
5. Have a controlling idea (claim) with evidence from all the sources —see Feedback from
Rubric
6. Be cohesive and organized around your controlling idea —see Feedback from Rubric
7. Be specific and give details and examples —see Feedback from Rubric

Feedback from Rubric

Controlling Idea

C | Text presents a controlling idea, though it may not be revelatory or clear and is
somewhat supported with sub-claims, though some may seem tangential. Text presents
ideas, but the ideas do not further the author’s purpose.

Evidence

C | Text presents evidence for the controlling idea, though not all the selected evidence
furthers the author’s purpose or it is unclear how the evidence works to do so. Some
tangents present.

Description

C | Text presents an understanding of the concept of the research analysis, although it is

clear that that the author stumbles to fully comprehend. Text presents some evidence to
demonstrate the understanding.

Genre Competence (Research Paper)

 C | Text seems confused about the purpose of the research analysis paper genre, though
the purpose is somewhat accomplished. Evidence of a misunderstanding of audience and
how the genre works for the author’s purpose.

Style, Grammar and the Writing Process

C | Style and grammar are somewhat appropriate for the assigned genre and audience.
Text appears to have not benefitted from proofreading and editing

Instructor Comments

This paper has a lot of potential, especially given the sources you have located. Please see my
marginal comments on your final draft and let me know if you have any questions.

Margin Comments:

Title:
 A strong title but weak information

Introduction:

 Mixed construction
 Sentence structure problems
 Grammarly incorrect
 Unclear controlling idea

Gender Fluidity:

 Lacks topic sentence

 Does not support the main controlling idea of the paragraph
 Unnecessary information
 Confusing

Gender Fluidity in Child Adolescence:

 Lacks topic sentence

 Needs other sources

Mental Health and Gender Fluidity:

 Lacks Topic sentence

 Conversations aren’t clear
  Edit author names

Conclusions:

 Fix wording

Work Cited:

 Correct citations to MLA format