The AXIOMS of Copywriting: The 5 Universal Elements That

Form the Foundation of Advertising Copy That Works. Copyright ©

2021 by Robert W. Bly. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be repro-
duced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical,
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 CONTENTS

Foreword..................................................................................... i
Introduction............................................................................... v
AXIOM1 : Offer > Brand....................................................... 1
Making Offers Work • The Six Characteristics of Winning Offers • Target
the Prospect’s Level of Awareness • Set Your Copy at the Right Levels of
Intensity, Persuasion, and Power • Create Response Mechanisms • “Free”
Versus Other Words • Is Your Offer Worth Testing? • Offers That Performed
Well • Three Steps to Formulating an Offer • How to Track Responses •
Various Offers You Can Use

AXIOM2 : Long Copy Works.............................................. 27

The Copy Length Grid • Other Copy Length Factors • What About B2B? •
Why the Myth? • Where Shorter Is Better

AXIOM3 : More Research = Better Copy....................... 39

Google Vs. Research • How to Do Great Research • Prove It! • Provide
Overwhelming Evidence That Proves Your Ad’s Claims • Start with the
Prospect, Not the Product • Discovery • General Knowledge • Understand the
Hierarchy of Features, Advantages, and Benefits • Make Your Copy Strong
and Solid • Conclusion

AXIOM4 : More Experiences = Better Copy................. 63

The Millennial Advantage • The Boomer Advantage • Age and Experience •
The Power of Stories • How to Get More Experiences

AXIOM5 : Effectiveness = 1/# People............................. 77

The Peer Review • How Should Copy Be Physically Reviewed? • Why All
the Revisions?

Conclusion............................................................................... 91
Resources................................................................................. 93
About the EXPERT................................................................. 95
 For Alex and Sophie Bly, Stephen Bly, and Jiajia Lee

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thanks to my publisher, Anthony Raymond Michalski, for having faith
in me and this book, his long patience waiting for it to get to his desk, and
his boundless enthusiasm, energy, and ideas. Thanks also to all the marketers
who contributed stories, ideas, case studies, and samples of their promotions.
For privacy, I use your initials and not your full name throughout the book.
Some sections of the book appeared, in slightly different form, in DM
News and Target Marketing.
 FOREWORD

Y ou have in your hands what’s called an “unfair advantage”

because it’s almost like cheating with what you’re about to
learn. What’s in this book will put more money in your pocket
and help you gain a skill that will pay you dividends way into the
future. I know this because I know quite a bit about marketing
and copywriting — and I also know the author, Bob Bly.
And Bob is the reason why you’re getting this unfair ad-
vantage. You see, aside from being one of the smartest people
I know and one of the savviest copywriters in the business, Bob
Bly is also one of the nicest person that I know! Let me tell you
how I met him twenty years ago so you can get the full picture.
First, who am I? I’m Fred Gleeck. I’ve been creating and
marketing what have become known as “information prod-
ucts” — books, courses, seminars, audio programs, videos, and
more — since 1985. I studied marketing and psychology as an
undergraduate in college because my parents weren’t willing to
help me finance a degree in theatre. (Good counsel!) I then got
my Masters in International Management because, having been
born in Osaka, Japan and raised in Manila in the Philippines
and with my Dad being a U.S. Diplomat, it seemed to be a good
fit as well as a good path forward. I moved to New York City
after grad school and was promptly fired by five Fortune 500
companies in a row. There seemed to be unanimous agreement:
Fred Gleeck should be self-employed!
That’s when I saw the opportunities available in the “infor-
mation” market. And that’s when, I often tell people, my real

i
Foreword

education began, because when I first got started marketing and

selling information products, we used to joke that the only peo-
ple who were making money were the owners of UPS! You see,
we were shipping boxes of audio and video cassettes all over the
country and since we were giving money-back guarantees on all
our sales, a percentage of shipments would come back to us. So,
UPS got paid both — coming and going.
That all changed drastically in 1994 with the advent of the
Internet. Yes, I was an early adopter and quickly moved my
business online, before all the “cool kids,” frankly. And there I
quickly found that the cost of “shipping” electrons reduced my
cost of goods to virtually nothing. Talk about a game-changer
and money-maker!
It was around this time in the mid- to late-nineties that Bob
and I met. He attended a workshop of mine at the Learning
Annex in New York City, where I lived for twenty years. Bob
listened and learned — and immediately took action, putting
into practice with amazing success what he learned at my event.
Up until that point, Bob was a “technological troglodyte”
(his words, not mine) who worked as a professional copywriter
by day while authoring books on various subjects, from science
to marketing, in his “free” time. His diligence and willingness
to learn soon had him generating revenue from his information
marketing side-business to rival his book publishing royalties,
which now, it should be noted, come from over one hundred
books!
The AXIOMS of Copywriting is his latest work, as well as one
of his best! And no one else could have written it. Why?

ii
 2
Well, first of all, publishing powerhouse McGraw-Hill has
called Bob Bly “one of America’s top 10 copywriters.” That’s a
recommendation you can take to the bank.
Likewise, the publisher of this book that is in your hands
chose Bob to be the first author in this new line of AXIOMS
books. What more can be said about that other than the fact that
in the field of copywriting, Bob is clearly the “experts-expert.”
Finally, consider this: Bob actually does what he teaches — a
rarity in this day and age! He’s not some ivory tower theore-
tician who pontificates in abstractions. Bob’s an experimental
practitioner who utilizes his skills every day producing adver-
tising copy for some of the biggest corporations in America as
a freelancer as well as for products and services he provides for
himself. In other words, his copywriting has to work because if it
doesn’t, then Bob’s family doesn’t eat.
Thus, what you have in your hands is a powerful, if unfair,
advantage.
Now, what about these AXIOMS? AXIOMS go beyond the
rules and laws, they are immutable and drill down to the intrin-
sic reality of the subject, in this case copywriting. They provide
a foundation of Truth with which you can fly to soaring heights
and upon which you can build systems and processes that work
— really work.
And that makes Bob Bly and the AXIOMS a very potent
mixture for you. Bob has been writing copy for over forty years,
please read every word at least three or four times. Have a high-
lighter handy! You’ll also want get a few copies as they will get
worn out from constantly being referenced.

iii
Foreword

Knowing and learning what’s in this priceless book will help

you, the reader, no matter what angle you approach this from.
Professional copywriter? This is for you! Entrepreneur hoping
to sell more of your products and services? This will be a great
help! Work primarily online? Bob’s got you covered! Mainly
brick and mortar? Equally as effective and important!
Bob has made all of the AXIOMS easy to understand and
implement. Nothing is left to chance! The stories he tells illumi-
nate the points and his “how to” suggestions are clear, concise,
and easy to follow.
Early on in my career I created and marketed my own
knowledge and expertise. My current model now revolves
around helping world-class experts (like Bob) market and sell
their knowledge. For each one of them, I need to write copy. Not
just good copy, but great copy. The AXIOMS of Copywriting will
help me do exactly that. Imagine what it will do for you.
To your and my success,

Fred Gleeck
October 2021
https://FredGleeck.com

PS — If you’re a world-class expert in your field, I’d love

to hear from you. Who knows? You may be my next success
story! Check out my site https://FredGleeck.com or email me at
fredgleeck@gmail.com.

iv
 INTRODUCTION

I t’s ironic.
There seems to be more people who consider themselves
copywriting experts today than at any time in history.
These include:
> Copywriters who claim stellar track records and income
— with no proof to back up these assertions.
> Online course instructors, many of whom you have nev-
er heard of, proclaiming they know the ultimate secrets
of writing great copy — and for a few thousand dollars,
can teach you those same secrets.
> Writers of articles, books, and blogs on copywriting —
also boasting they are the world’s greatest copywriters
and offering to train you and make you into an A-level
copywriter.
> Ad agency “creatives” put on a pedestal by the adver-
tising trade press as the new superstars of marketing
— creating supposedly brilliant, creative ad campaigns
— so many of which seem to produce no measurable
sales results.
What so many of these poseurs have in common is they
are mainly involved in brand advertising for big-name national
consumer brands.
Consumer brand advertising, especially for large compa-
nies, is somewhat more forgiving of and better able to tolerate
weak copy than is direct response and small business marketing
— for these reasons:

v
Introduction

> Inability to measure copy performance in the most

meaningful way: sales.
> Large budgets and financial cushions make the effects of
nonperforming marketing campaigns non-devastating.
> If the campaign is liked for its entertainment value, oth-
er flaws, such as failure to make the cash register ring,
are largely overlooked and even forgiven.
Because of Madison Avenue’s ill-informed worship of cre-
ative advertising, an increasing number of copywriters today
sacrifice solid persuasion for laughs, smiles, and warm, fuzzy
feelings. Unfortunately, the latter seldom fill the advertiser’s cof-
fers.
In fact, more and more copywriters today do not know the
proven rules and principles of persuasion – and even if they
have some vague idea, choose not to follow them. Why this re-
fusal to adhere to first principles?
> Many copywriters don’t understand the fundamentals
of sales writing.
> Some copywriters look down upon the time-tested rules
as old-fashioned, out-of-touch, or even antiquated.
> Others are more concerned with winning creative
awards and filling their portfolios with snazzy ads rather
than plain ads that send sales through the roof.
In this short book, we delve into the 5 most important fun-
damentals of persuasion in print, broadcast, and on-screen. We
call them “Axioms,” because they are universal and work virtu-
ally all the time.
Some may be new to you. Others you may not be currently

vi
 3
putting into practice — either by eschewing them deliberately
or just not being aware of them and their power.
But whatever you do, I suggest you gain proficiency in all 5
copywriting axioms. By doing so, you will write stronger copy
that generates more clicks, more conversions, more leads, more
orders, and more sales.
Conversely, when you ignore these five Axioms of copywrit-
ing, you lose all of these good results — outcomes that benefit
copywriters, their employers, and their clients alike.
So here’s to the better – more effective — and more power-
ful copy! I am convinced you can write it by studying these five
copywriting Axioms — and putting them into practice!

vii
 1
Of Copywriting

OFFER > BRAND

The More Your Copy Focuses on the

Offer and Not the Brand Message,
the Greater Your Response
Offer > Brand

I n marketing, an offer, simply put, is (a) what the prospect

gets when she responds to your ad combined with (b) what
she has to do to get it. For instance, an investment advisor in
the Pittsburgh area wrote and published a little book on how
to maximize your Social Security benefits if you are at or near
retirement age. In his quarter-page newspaper ads, he offered
readers a copy of the book absolutely free. To get it, they either
had to call his office, complete and mail the reply coupon in
the ad, or go to a special web page to download an electronic
version of the book.
Why give away the book instead of charge for it? Because he
is not in business to make money selling books. He is in business
to make money managing his clients’ portfolios. And by offering
the free book as an incentive to respond, his ad generated many
more inquiries from potential clients than if he had just offered a
sales brochure or other information on his company and services.
Free content offers such as books, DVDs, audio CDs, white
papers, and special reports used to be called bait pieces, be-
cause they were the bait marketers used to “fish” for new cus-
tomers. Today they are known as lead magnets, because they
pull leads to the marketer like a magnet.
So, two questions . . .
First, must your ad have an offer?
And second, does the nature of the offer make a different in
response rates?
As for the first question, your ad strictly speaking does not
have to make an offer. There is no FTC regulation requiring
that you do so. Having said that, running ads without offers is

2
 1
foolish. By doing so, you are begging consumers not to respond
and asking for minimal sales.
As to the second question, we will explore that right now.

MAKING OFFERS WORK

So yes, every ad should have an offer. And what the offer is can
make a huge difference in response. I have seen numerous tests
in which a simple change of offer has increased the response
rate by 25% to 900% — dramatically improving ROMD (Re-
turn On Marketing Dollars) for the advertiser.
Years ago, an ad agency tracked the results of many direct
mail promotions it did for offers with long lifetime customer
retention, especially long-distance phones, mobile phones, and
high-speed Internet access. They divided the mailers they stud-
ied based on whether the copy primarily featured the offer (e.g.,
“get an extra 3-GB of memory for $10 a month when you or-
der within the next 7 days”) vs. branding (e.g., “our network has
more Wi-Fi hot spots than any other in the nation”).
The results?
Direct mail packages that were primarily offer-driven gener-
ated new orders at a cost of approximately $100 per sale.
Direct mail packages that were primarily brand-driven gen-
erated new orders at a cost of around $1,000 per sale.
These results, shown in the following table, show that stress-
ing the offer in your marketing produces approximately ten
times better ROI than stressing the brand message.

3
Offer > Brand

Performance as Brand Content Increases and Offer Content Decreases

Copy | Platform Brand Offer Approx. Cost Per
Content Content Sale
Primarily Offer-Driven 10% 90% $50 - $100
Offer Leads - Brand Follows 25% 75% $200 - $250
Brand Leads - Offer Follows 75% 25% $400 - $600
Primarily Brand-Driven 90% 10% $800 - $1,000

So the first part of making offers work is

(a) to have them, and
(b) to make them prominent in your promotion.
The more you bury the offer behind branding, the fewer
leads and orders you get.
The second part of making offers work is to understand that
(a) changing the offer can have an enormous effect on re-
sponse rates, and, therefore,
(b) it is imperative to test many different offers to see which
is the most profitable.

THE SIX CHARACTERISTICS OF WINNING OFFERS

So how do you formulate winning offers? The best offers seem

to share six common characteristics —and to lift your response
rates, your offers should, too.
1. Winning offers are different or unique. The best
offers are fresh and new. When copywriter Bill Jayme wrote the
direct mail packaged that launched New York magazine, he
proposed a sweepstakes. Sweepstakes have long been used to
sell magazine subscriptions, but none has ever offered the prize

4
 1
Jayme dreamed up: dinner at Gracie Mansion with New York
City’s mayor. The promotion was a big winner.
Most investment newsletters offer free special reports as pre-
miums. The Sovereign Society, a newsletter on offshore investing,
offered something different: a free Swiss bank account, a gift not
given by any other investment newsletter.
Most business magazines offer either discounted subscrip-
tion rates or standard premiums like special reports, tote bags, or
calculators. Advertising Age had a successful control where the pre-
mium was a ceramic coffee mug. Coffee mugs are nothing spe-
cial. But this one was imprinted with a mock-up of an Ad Age
cover. If the subscriber was Jan Smith, the headline on the mock
issue of Ad Age was personalized to read: “Jan Smith Chosen as
Marketing Genius of the Year.”
2. Winning offers have a high degree of desirabil-
ity. An unusual offer only works if it’s something people real-
ly want. A publisher was selling a loose-leaf service on how to
manage Novell NetWare local area networks. Response rates
doubled when a new direct mail promotion offered a disk with
free software: a collection of utilities for Novell networks. The
100% increase in orders confirmed that these software pro-
grams were tools network administrators obviously wanted to
get their hands on. The outer envelope teaser read:

Yours FREE! — 5 Powerful Programs to Help You Manage Your

Novell NetWare Network More Efficiently and Easily — See In-
side for Details on This Special Time-Limited Offer.
3. Winning offers have a high perceived value, espe-
cially in relation to fulfillment cost. All else being equal, people

5
Offer > Brand

are more likely to want the premium if they think it is worth a lot of
money. Free software has traditionally worked well as a premi-
um. Software has a high perceived value in relation to the cost
of goods. You know that purchased in a store or online, software
packages can easily sell for $49 to $300 or more. Yet a CD with
code on it can be duplicated for about a dollar.
In a promotion tied in with their sponsorship of the Olym-
pics, IBM offered a special IBM Olympic pin as a premium. In
reality, the item probably only cost and was worth a buck or so.
But the mailer copy hinted that the item could become a col-
lectible, creating an impression of potentially high value. And in
fact, people do collect Olympic memorabilia of all kinds.
Let’s say you are giving away a free special report as a lead
magnet. The report is a PDF, so your cost is essentially zero.
How do you create high perceived value? In the upper right
corner of the front cover, put a price, say, $29. If you do that,
the recipient thinks he has gotten a gift worth $29. If there is no
price, he assumes the value is zero.
On the other hand, a low perceived offer value can depress
response. Example: a financial newsletter mailed a renewal pro-
motion that offered as a premium a pack of playing cards with
the editor’s picture on them. Not surprisingly, it flopped. Who
would want that? A deck of playing cards is a cheap commodity
item. It has a low perceived value. And these days, many people
don’t play cards any more.
4. Winning offers dramatize the brand or USP. The
Sovereign Society is a newsletter about offshore investing. The sym-
bol for offshore investing has long been Swiss bank accounts.

6
 1
Therefore, the offer of a free Swiss bank account with a sub-
scription to The Sovereign Society supports and dramatizes the
newsletter’s USP: making money and increasing privacy by in-
vesting offshore in things like Swiss bank accounts.
Even when the offer does not at first glance seem closely
related to the product, a clever copywriter can find a connec-
tion. Years ago, Sports Illustrated was successful with merchandise
premiums, one of which was a telephone. Gevalia Coffee, a
purveyor of gourmet flavored coffees by mail, gave away a free
coffee maker when you joined their coffee of the month conti-
nuity program. Newsweek had success offering a free radio as a
premium for new subscribers.
Now, it would seem that, on the surface, a radio is a poor
choice of premium for a new magazine, because in the news
area, radio and magazines compete with one another. But de-
cades ago, copywriter Milt Pierce used the differences between
magazines vs. radio news to make a logical connection between
the premium and the product:

Dear Reader:
What’s the fastest way to get the news?
It’s on the radio. That’s why Newsweek wants you to have – as an
introductory gift for new subscribers – this superb AM/FM radio.
But what’s the best way to get the news?
You won’t get just headlines and a rough outline of the news,
with Newsweek, you’ll get the news in depth ….

5. Winning offers are easy to take advantage of. You

should make it as easy and convenient as possible for the pros-
pect to accept your offer.

7
Offer > Brand

How? To begin with, offer multiple response mechanisms:

> toll-free phone number
> a reply form
> a hyperlink to a landing page (see www.thelandingpageguru.
com; the site requires the username user and password
page guru for free access, and you now have them)
> e-mail
> even (gasp!) a postal address.
Different prospects respond in different ways.

TARGET THE PROSPECT’S LEVEL OF AWARENESS

In his classic book Breakthrough Advertising, Eugene Schwartz iden-

tifies a fundamental copywriting principle. Namely, the copy you
write should ideally be tailored to the prospect’s awareness of
the solution to his problem.
At level 7, for instance, the prospect is not even aware that
he has a problem, which makes it difficult to sell your solution.

8
 1
Copy at this level should begin by making the prospect aware of
the problem and assessing whether he has it.
At level 2, the prospect knows he has a problem and is look-
ing at various ways to solve his problem. So you must show him
why your solution is the best—better than all the other products
that also promise to solve the problem.

SET YOUR COPY AT THE RIGHT LEVELS OF INTENSITY,

PERSUASION, AND POWER

Whether your copy should be high-intensity, hard-sell hype or

low-key, straight-forward prose depends on two primary factors.
The first factor, as shown on the vertical axis, is whether
the prospect needs what you are selling or simply wants it. Need
means you simply must have it and can’t do without it, for ex-
ample, a diabetic purchasing insulin. Want,on the other hand,
means it’s not a necessity; you simply desire it, for example: a
leather jacket.
The second factor determining copy intensity, shown on the
horizontal axis, is supply and demand. If availability is limited,
the old adage applies: “When the feed is scarce, the chickens will
scratch at anything.” When the consumer can choose from an
ample supply of brands to solve his problem, you must ratchet
up persuasiveness so he buys your brand instead of the compet-
itors.
The copy-intensity grid can guide you in tailoring your copy
to address need vs. want and plentiful vs. limited availability.

9
Offer > Brand

In the upper-left quadrant (#1), consumers need your

type of product, but they have plenty of other similar
products to choose from. So here, copy stresses the advan-
tages of your product vs. the competition.
In the upper-right quadrant (#2), consumers also need
your type of product and there is a limited range of
other options available. Given that our product is not a
common one, we must clearly describe what it is, what it is used
for, and the benefits it delivers.
In the bottom-left quadrant (#3), consumers want and
desire your type of product, but they do not need it
and they have a range of products to choose from. Here
we tap strongly into the core buying emotion. And we may de-
lay naming the product until a bit later in the copy to create
intrigue.
In the bottom-right quadrant (#4), consumers want and
desire your type of product and do not have many buy-

10
 1
ing options. Products that are a want typically require more
intense copy than those that are a need. So again, the copy is
emotional and stresses the benefits of the product.

CREATE RESPONSE MECHANISMS

In a direct mail package, enclose a business reply card (BRC)

with your letter. If you want customers to enclose payment with
their order, or privacy is a concern, also include a business
reply envelope (BRE). On a postcard, print a Quick Re-
sponse Code (QRC); by scanning the QRC with his smart-
phone, the recipient can immediately connect to a landing page
for the offer.
In a print ad, consider including a coupon or a bind-in
BRC opposite the advertisement. On the Web, landing pag-
es should ask for the minimum information from the prospect
when collecting leads. If you are building your opt-in e-list, ask
for name and e-mail address only. When you have multiple fields
for the user to complete, use an asterisk (*) to indicate which are
mandatory, and make as many fields as possible optional. Con-
version rates decline incrementally for each additional field you
force the prospect to fill out.
The ease and convenience of accepting the offer can even
be highlighted in the copy as a benefit. In a letter selling the
Board Report, a newsletter for graphic designers, copywriter Sig
Rosenblum makes a benefit out of the fact that the reply ele-
ment is a BRC:

Please complete the card enclosed and drop it in the mail today. It’s
already addressed. And the postage is paid.

11
Offer > Brand

6. Winning offers minimize the buyer’s risk and ob-

ligation. Do whatever you can to minimize sales pressure on
the prospect. If you follow up leads by phone instead of with the
field sales force, say in your copy “No salesperson will visit.” If
you do not follow up leads by phone, say “No salesperson will
call.”
When offering anything free — a white paper, a webinar,
even a brochure — say that it is free. Do not substitute the weak-
er “complimentary” when writing to a high-level business audi-
ence because you think “free” is not professional or will offend
them. It won’t. Everybody wants free stuff, and businesspeople
and professionals are no exception. A health care agency sent a
direct mail piece inviting doctors to attend a symposium. They
did an A/B split test of two versions; the only difference was that
B offered a free pocket diary as a gift for attendance. Version B
— offering the free gift — out-pulled version A — with no free
gift — six-fold. Busy doctors were persuaded to give up an after-
noon by a free pocket diary that cost about a dollar!
Does the buyer have to agree to sit through a presentation
or demonstration, or complete a survey? If he is not required to
take further action once he accepts the offer, note this in your
copy by saying:

There’s no obligation … nothing to buy … and no commitment

of any kind.

“FREE” VERSUS OTHER WORDS

A situation I run into from time to time is a client who doesn’t

12
 1
want me to use the word “free” because they feel it is some-
how low-class, sleazy, inappropriate, or dated. “We want to con-
vey a higher class image,” they will explain. They then ask me,
“Wouldn’t it be better to say ‘complimentary’ instead of ‘free’?”
After all, they implore me, “complimentary” says free but with-
out using the déclassé word “free.”
To put this issue to rest once and for all, listen carefully:
“Free” is one of the two most persuasive words in the English
language. (The other is “you.”) You should use free as much as
you can, as often as you can. And you should always say free and
never the snootier “complimentary.”
Everybody understands free and responds to it. On the other
hand, some people actually think “complimentary” means “giv-
ing a compliment.” The great, late 20th century copywriter Bill
Jayme believed you could never say free too much or too often.
“If something is free, say it seven ways till Sunday,” he famously
advised.
Some grammarians complain that we copywriters are re-
dundant when we write “free gift,” because all gifts are free. Yet
in a split test of “free gift” vs. “gift,” the free gift pulled a greater
response. In fact, some of the prospects receiving the “gift” ver-
sion called and asked, “Is the gift free?” Apparently, it helps to
remind and reassure people that your gift is free.
If your argument against using “free” is that you market to
a sophisticated audience and so using “free” would be talking
down to them, let me disabuse you of this notion.
Please note that in online marketing, take pains to not abuse
the meaning of “free” or use it inappropriately. For instance,

13
Offer > Brand

many marketers say you can get a “free 30-day trial” of their
product, but to do that, you pay with your credit card up front.
Therefore it’s only free if you return the product for refund. The
proper way to phrase this is a risk-free offer. Any time you
say “free offer” and then ask for the customer’s credit card, you
instantly lose credibility.

IS YOUR OFFER WORTH TESTING?

Master marketer Maryellen Tribby presents this 10-point check-

list for determining whether your offer is worth testing.
1. Is your offer specific? Will the prospect understand
exactly what they get and how to get it?
2. Is your offer exclusive? Are you making your offer
only to a select few (and making them feel that they are an exclu-
sive bunch), or are you making your offer to everyone?
3. Is your offer valuable? Will your prospects perceive
your offer to be of value to them? Your offer may be inexpensive
for you to make, but it must have a high-perceived value to your
potential customers.
4. Is your offer unique? Is the deal you’re offering only
available through your business?
5. Is your offer useful? Your offer can be exclusive or
unique — and useless. Make sure your offer helps your prospects
save money, save time, do their jobs better, or is something else
just as helpful.
6. Is your offer relevant? Do prospects want what you
are offering?
7. Is your offer plausible? Some offers are too good to

14
 1
be true, and others are just plain silly. Either way, your offer
needs to lend credibility.
8. Is your offer easy to acquire? The harder you make
it for your prospects to obtain your offer, the lower your response
rates will be. So make your order forms clear, simple, and short;
your toll-free telephone number obvious on the page; and your
terms and conditions of purchase concise.
9. Is your offer urgent? Are you clear about the deadline
of your offer? Is it an early-bird special or are you limiting it to
only the first 250 people who respond?
10. Does your offer have a guarantee? Did you
strengthen your offer with a money-back guarantee? Perhaps
you could even allow the subscriber to keep all bonuses and
product received and make sure the prospect knows that there is
no risk whatsoever.

OFFERS THAT PERFORMED WELL

Here are some examples of offers that performed well, some for
a limited time, others longer.
Gevalia Coffee. As mentioned earlier, the product was a
monthly subscription of packets of exotically flavored coffee.
When you joined the program, you got, along with your first
month, which was at a reduced price, a free coffee maker — and
it was a good one! How could they afford this? Obviously they
(a) sourced the product at a great wholesale price, and
(b) did the math and calculated that adding the free coffee mak-
er increased revenues far in excess of the cost of giving it away.
And you could cancel at any time without penalty and still

15
Offer > Brand

keep the coffee maker.

Easton Press. Their product was a subscription where
each month you got a new high-quality leather-bound book for
around $50 or so per volume. To get you into the program, they
offered the first book, which was Moby Dick, at a much reduced
price — free with just a $5.95 shipping and handling charge.*
Ken Roberts. Ken sold a monthly options trading educa-
tional service that included access to his charts online at $29 a
month. Then someone in their organization got the bright idea
to offer the first two weeks for a dollar. Sales increased signifi-
cantly. Free is very powerful, but there is something irresistible
about a dollar offer also. And the dollar offer captures the con-
sumer’s credit card so if they do not cancel after the two-week
trial, you just start the monthly billing.
Comfort Control. This was a NJ contractor specializ-
ing in aluminum and vinyl siding for residential customers. To
entice consumers to call them to come to the house and give
a free estimate, they offered a free paperback book on how to
avoid contractor rip-offs. Today this practice of giving away a
free book as a lead magnet is common, but then it was unusual,
especially for a small local business.
Mayflower® Movers. In the pre-Internet days, when you
moved, you had to write to all your service providers — the post
office, the milk man, the newspaper delivery boy, the gas and elec-
tric company, the water company — to notify them. Mayflower
in their ads offered a free “Mover’s Kit.” It was a collection of
prewritten postcard notifications to all of these companies; all you

* I still have my copy today!

16
 1
had to do was address the front of each card. A real time-saver
and it produced a lot more inquiries from their print advertising.
G.Neil. This company made those laminated labor law
posters and notices you see on the walls of businesses. Posting
this information is in many places required by law. G.Neil made
an unusual guarantee: If the customer was fined because the
information on the poster was not legally compliant in any way,
they would pay the fine (or at least a portion of it).
P&L Pro. This company made accounting software and
their gimmick was that you could buy the various modules —
accounts payable, accounts receivable, payroll, and so on — for
just one dollar each. The catch was you only got the dollar per
module pricing if you first bought the main module — general
ledger — at its full list price of around $245 or so.
Intellectual Digest. When this magazine launched in the
1960s, they offered the first issue free when you subscribed, and
you could subscribe without sending any money — they would
bill you later. If you didn’t want to continue, you ripped up the bill
and kept the first issue free. This is called a soft offer as opposed
to a hard offer where you pay up front. It is commonplace in
magazine subscriptions but was newer then, and Intellectual Digest
promoted it more heavily than most other magazines of the day.
Institute of Children’s Literature. This company sold
a correspondence course teaching how to write children’s books
and get them published. Their ads offered a free take-at-home
writing test to help you determine whether you had the aptitude
and talent to be a successful children’s author.†

† Was the test really evaluated or did they just accept everybody? I have no idea.

17
Offer > Brand

America Online. Years ago, when AOL was a leader in

Internet access, they got new customers by cold-mailing a free
CD the customer could use to sign up and gain access to the
service. It was a first in the industry and a home run success.‡

THREE STEPS TO FORMULATING AN OFFER

There are three steps for turning your ad or any other promo-
tion into a response-generating marketing tool.
First, decide what type of response you want. What
action do you want the reader to take? Do you want your pros-
pect to phone or write you, or clip a coupon and mail it back to
you? Do you want the reader to visit your store, request a copy
of your catalog or sales brochure, set up an appointment to see a
salesperson, test drive your product, order your product directly
from the ad, or visit a landing page to place a credit card order?
Decide what you want the reader to do.
Second, tell the reader to do it. The last few paragraphs
of your copy should spell out the action you want the reader to
take and give him reasons to take it. For instance:

Just visit www.XYZ.com/freeguide or call toll-free 800-111-

1111 now and we’ll send you this sample policy FREE with-
out obligation as a special introduction to  EMPLOYMENT
GUIDE WEEKLY.

So why not call 1-800-FINE4WD for a dealer convenient to you?

‡ I would guess their marketing director had to battle mightily with senior
management to get them to test an expensive CD mailing versus a traditional
self-mailer or letter package.

18
 1

Just send in the card (or the coupon) and have some fun with
your first issue. Then pay us after you’ve taken a look.

Send for DISPLAY MASTERS’ invaluable FREE guide

on Point-of Purchase Marketing. “33 Ways to Better Displays:
What Every Marketing Executive Should Know About Point-of-
Purchase Displays in Today’s Market.”

The third step is to give the reader a mechanism

for responding. Emphasize this mechanism in your layout to
simplify the process of making contact with you.
In print advertising, this is accomplished through the use of
a toll-free phone number (usually printed in large type to attract
attention to it) or bold-face URL.
Even if your ad is not primarily a response ad (and with
rare exception, I can’t understand why you wouldn’t want re-
sponse), you should still make it easy for your reader to get in
touch should he want to do business with you. This means al-
ways including an address and telephone number and a web site
URL leading to a landing page or response form.
Recently, I saw a television commercial for Lilco (Long Is-
land Lighting Company) offering a free booklet on electricity.
The ad informed viewers they could get the booklet by calling
their local Lilco office — but no phone number or web address
was mentioned in the commercial! This is a response-killing
mentality that many advertisers embrace that I will never un-
derstand. Why make it difficult for people to get in touch with
you or order your product? It doesn’t make sense.

19
Offer > Brand

HOW TO TRACK RESPONSES

The offer can have a tremendous effect on response rates. It is

one of the easiest areas in marketing to test and make improve-
ments and get immediate results. Yet, while so many market-
ers agonize over branding, copy, graphic design, and marketing
channel selection, a lot of these folks don’t spend much time
at all thinking about or testing offers. And this mistake is easily
corrected without a huge amount of effort.
To track response when you are driving traffic to a web form
or page, use a unique URL for each ad. For instance,
www.acmeproduct.com/report1
vs.
www.acmeproduct.com/report2
Both can point to the same landing page for downloading
the same report. But with a unique URL assigned to each pro-
motion, you know exactly how many clicks each ad, e-mail, or
article produced and where each inquiry came from.
Successful marketing usually has a free offer, a discount of-
fer, or offers something free along with your paid order. One of
the main reasons people respond is to save money. Another is to
get something free.
Also, people are afraid of being hooked by unethical Inter-
net scams or high-pressure salesmen, so your offer should indi-
cate that there are no strings attached. Stress that your offer is
> free,
> there is no obligation to buy,
> and you have a money-back guarantee.
Shoppers don’t want to commit themselves to a purchase.

20
 1
Buyers want to be assured that they won’t be ripped off. Your
offer should address these needs.
The action you want your prospect to take is part of the
offer. Use phrases like,
> Send no money now.
> Try it FREE for 15 days!
> Mail the no-obligation Trial Request Form today!
> Call us toll-free.
> Just click here now to get your Risk-Free program.
These phrases move the reader to action. Here are some
successful offers made in promotions.
American Family Publishers (magazine subscriptions)
We guarantee complete satisfaction on your subscriptions . . .
or your money back for all unserved issues! So be sure to take full
advantage of the enclosed Discount Stamp Sheet right now!

Boardroom Reports ($29.95 book sold by mail)

If this book does not give you all the help you think it will, just
return it anytime within 60 days and you will get your money back
in full.

Inc. (magazine subscription)

If you return the enclosed card to us, I will send you the next
issue of Inc. free. Without cost or obligation to you.

Encyclopedia Britannica
To get your free Preview Booklet, just complete and return the
postage-free reply card.

Calhoun’s Collectors Society

You need send no money now — and you may cancel at any
time. What’s more, you are invited to reserve judgment about con-

21
Offer > Brand

tinuing until after you have had a chance to examine the first Gold
Proof for 15 days.

Smith Barney (investments)

For your free copy of all 4 reports, simply detach and mail the
above request form in the enclosed postage-paid envelope.

Mutual of Omaha (insurance)

So don’t miss this opportunity to apply for EASY MIND. Sim-
ply complete the enclosed Application and return it along with your
check for the first month’s premium in the postage paid envelope
we’ve provided.

In your copy, you should sell the offer rather than the prod-
uct itself. If your product is a handbook that sells for $59, and
the customer can return it within fifteen days, then you’re not
really selling a $59 book; you are selling the opportunity to ex-
amine the book, for two weeks, without cost or obligation. Tell
the customer he can read the book and use it for fifteen days —
free. Then only if he likes the handbook and wants to keep it will
you send an invoice for payment.
See the difference? Asking someone to plunk down $59 for
an unfamiliar product sold by an unknown company through
the mail is scary. And you probably wouldn’t get many orders.
But offering to let people look at your book for fifteen days, and
then decide whether they want to buy, is a more attractive deal.
Even bookstores don’t let you do that!
The same principle works in industrial direct mail. No di-
rect mail letter, no matter how clever, will convince an engineer
to order your fifty-thousand-dollar pilot plant system sight un-
seen. But a good letter can get an engineer to ask for a free

22
 1
demonstration of the system which gets the salesperson in the
door and paves the way for that fifty-thousand-dollar sale.

VARIOUS OFFERS YOU CAN USE

Many different offers are possible. Should you offer a thirty-day

trial, a free pamphlet, a pocket calculator, a one-year guarantee,
or 20-percent off the price? Choose an offer you feel your pros-
pects would best respond to. Then test it. See which offer works
best.
Here is a checklist of common offers. Use it to stimulate
your own thinking.
>  free brochure
>  free booklet
>  free catalog
>  free newsletter
>  free information kit
>  invitation to attend a free seminar
>  free information
>  more information
>  free trial
>  free use of product
>  free product sample
>  free gift certificate
>  free coupon
>  use of toll-free hot-line
>  free advice
>  free consultation
>  free survey

23
Offer > Brand

>  free analysis

>  free estimate
>  free problem evaluation
>  free product demonstration
>  have a representative call
>  have a salesman call
>  add me to your list
>  not interested right now — try me again in the future
>  not interested — here’s why:
>  free audio CD
>  free DVD
>  free gift--for providing names of friends who might be
interested in the offer
>  free special report
>  money-back guarantee
>  double-your-money-back guarantee
>  free sample issue
>  send no money now — we will bill you
>  cash with order
>  order by credit card or PayPal
>  enter our contest and win prizes
>  enter our sweepstakes and win prizes
>  enter our drawing and win prizes
>  discount for new customers
>  discount or other special offer for past customers
>  your name removed from our mailing list — unless you
order now
>  introductory offer on small trial orders

24
 1
>  price-off coupon included when you request catalog
>  extra discounts for large volume purchases
>  free gift with volume orders
>  extra discount for payment with order
>  seasonal sale
>  warehouse inventory reduction sale
>  special clearance sale
>  remnant sale
>  buy at low prices now before prices go up
>  free gift item in return for your inquiry
>  free gift item with your order
>  free gift item with your paid in advance order
>  surprise bonus gift with your order
>  extra quantity with paid order
>  order now — we won’t bill you until (specify date)
>  order X amount of product/service now and get Y
amount free
>  order product X-get product Y free
>  discount
>  discount with paid order
>  discount if order placed by a certain date
>  discount if certificate or coupon code is used
>  free information
>  free information to qualified buyers — others pay X
dollars
>  call toll-free number
>  mail reply card
>  complete and mail order form

25
Offer > Brand

>  complete online order form

>  complete and mail specification sheet for a prompt
price quotation
>  send no money now-pay in easy monthly installments
>  reply today-while the reply form is still handy
>  order today-supplies are limited
>  offer good until [specify date]
>  this offer is for a limited time only
>  subscribe today
>  become a member
>  discount with trade-in of your old equipment

26
 RESOURCES
How to Write a Good Advertisement by Vic Schwab (Wilshire Book
Company, 1962). A common-sense course in how to write ad-
vertising copy that gets people to buy your product or service,
written by a plain-speaking veteran mail order copywriter in
1960.
My First 50 Years in Advertising by Max Sackheim (Prentice-Hall,
1970). Another plain-speaking, common-sense guide that stress-
es salesmanship over creativity, and results over awards. The au-
thor was one of the originators of the Book of the Month Club.
The Robert Collier Letter Book by Robert Collier. While Schwab and
Sackheim concentrate on space ads, Collier focuses on the art of
writing sales letters, of which he is a master. You learn how to
write persuasive sales letters in a friendly, natural, conversational
style.
Reality in Advertising by Rosser Reeves (Alfred A. Knopf, 1961).
The book in which Reeves introduced the now-famous concept
of USP (the Unique Selling Proposition).
Breakthrough Advertising by Eugene Schwartz (Boardroom). A
copywriting guide by one of the greatest direct-response copy-
writers of the 20th century.
Tested Advertising Methods, Fifth Edition by John Caples, revised by
Fred Hahn (Prentice-Hall, 1997). An updated version of John
Caples’ classic book on the principles of persuasion as proven
through A/B spit tests.

93
Confessions of an Advertising Man by David Ogilvy (Atheneum).
Charming autobiography of legendary ad man David Ogilvy,
packed with useful advice on how to create effective advertising.
Scientific Advertising by Claude Hopkins (Bell Publishing, 1920). A
book on the philosophy that advertising’s purpose is to sell, not
entertain or win creative awards – and how to apply this philos-
ophy to create winning ads.
Method Marketing by Denny Hatch (Bonus Books, 1999). A book
on how to write successful direct response copy by putting your-
self in the customer’s shoes. Packed with case histories of mod-
ern direct response success stories, including Bill Bonner of Ag-
ora Publishing, and Martin Edelston of Boardroom.
Advertising Secrets of the Written Word by Joseph Sugarman (DelStar,
1998). How to write successful advertising copy by a modern
master of the space ad.

94
 About

B ob Bly is a copywriter with over four decades of experience

in business-to-business and direct response marketing. Mc-
Graw-Hill calls Bob Bly “America’s top copywriter.”
A professional copywriter since 1982, Bob has written copy
for more than 100 clients including AT&T, IBM, Intuit, Agora
Publishing, The Motley Fool, Weiss Research, Brooklyn Union
Gas, PSE&G, BOC Chemicals, M&T Chemicals, and Prentice
Hall.
Bob is the author of more than one hundred books includ-
ing The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Direct Marketing (Alpha)
and The Copywriter’s Handbook (Henry Holt).
He has published over 100 articles in numerous periodicals
including New Jersey Monthly, Cosmopolitan, Successful Meetings, City
Paper, and Science Books and Films. His e-newsletter, The Direct Re-
sponse Letter, has 35,000 subscribers.
Bob has given presentations on copywriting and marketing
for dozens of organizations including the American Marketing
Association, Thoroughbred Software, Bull Information Systems,
IBM, American Artists and Writers Inc., Society for Technical
Communication, and the National Speakers Association.
Bob has been a member of the Business Marketing Associa-

95


tion, American Institute of Chemical Engineers, and Specialized

Information Publishers Association. He has won many writing
awards including an IMMY from the Information Industry As-
sociation, a Gold Echo from the Direct Marketing Association,
Copywriter of the Year from AWAI, Lifetime Achievement in
Marketing award from Early to Rise, an Honorable Mention
from the New York Book Festival, and a Standard of Excellence
award from the Web Marketing Association.
Bob has been featured in major media including the National
Enquirer, Nation’s Business, CNBC, CBS Hard Copy, the New York
Post, Investor’s Business Daily, and The Writer plus dozens of radio
shows nationwide. He holds a B.S. in chemical engineering from
the University of Rochester.
Prior to becoming a freelancer, Bob was a marketing writer
for Westinghouse Aerospace and Defense and the advertising
manager of Koch Engineering, a manufacturer of chemical
process equipment.
He can be reached at:
Bob Bly
Copywriter
31 Cheyenne Drive
Montville, NJ 07045
Phone: 973-263-0562
Fax: 973-263-0613
E-mail: rwbly@bly.com
Web: www.bly.com

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 8

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97