Chapter 1: Lesson 3

The Self from the Psychological Perspective

“The curious paradox is when I accept

myself just as I am, then I can change.”
- Carl Rogers

SCHEDULE: Week 6, Week 7 & Week 8

LEARNING OBJECTIVES of the Course:

a. Understand the different representations and conceptualizations of the self from
various philosophical perspectives.
b. The students should be able to compare and contrast these perspectives and see how it
has affected their life principle.

After this Lesson, STUDENTS MUST BE ABLE TO:

1. Identify the different ideas in psychology about the “self”;
2. Create your own definition of the “self” based on the definitions from psychology; and
3. Analyze the effects of various factors identified in psychology in the formation of the
“self.”

The development of the “self” as discussed in the previous lessons is very complex. But
to add up to our understanding on this concept, various Psychologists gave their own point of
view and theories about the self’s development.
Psychological theories generally see the self and identity as mental constructs, created
and recreated in memory. These theories focus on explaining how children change and grow over
the course of childhood, and trying to predict their behavior later in life. Such theories focus on
various aspects of development such as social, emotional, sexual and cognitive growth.
If you have ever wondered about what motivates human thought and behavior,
understanding these Psychological theories can provide a useful insight into individuals and
society.

REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS:

1. Why do you behave in a certain way?

2. Has your behavior at present been affected by your past experiences?
 DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES ACCORDING TO VARIOUS PSYCHOLOGISTS

Psychosexual Theory of Development by Sigmund Freud

To Freud, the first 4 or 5 years of life, or the infantile stage, are the most crucial for
personality formation. This stage is followed by a 6- or 7-year period of latency during which time
little or no sexual growth takes place. Then at puberty, a renaissance of sexual life occurs, and
the genital stage is ushered in. Psychosexual development eventually culminates in maturity
(Malana, n.d).

Infantile Period

• One of Freud’s most important assumptions is that infants possess a sexual life
and go through a period of pregenital sexual development during the first 4 or 5
years after birth.
• Freud divided the infantile stage into three phases according to which of the three
primary erogenous zones is undergoing the most salient development. The oral
phase begins first and is followed in order by the anal phase and the phallic phase.

Oral Phase

Because the mouth is the first organ to provide an infant with pleasure, Freud’s first
infantile stage of development is the oral phase.

• Infants obtain life-sustaining nourishment through the oral cavity, but beyond
that, they also gain pleasure through the act of sucking.
• During this oral-receptive phase, infants feel no ambivalence toward the
pleasurable object and their needs are usually satisfied with a minimum of
frustration and anxiety.
• As they grow older, however, they are more likely to experience feelings of
frustration and anxiety as a result of scheduled feedings, increased time lapses
between feedings, and eventual weaning.
• Infants’ defense against the environment is greatly aided by the emergence of
teeth. At this point, they pass into a second oral phase, which Freud called the
oral-sadistic period.
• During this phase, infants respond to others through biting, cooing, closing their
mouth, smiling, and crying.
• Their first autoerotic experience is thumb sucking, a defense against anxiety that
satisfies their sexual but not their nutritional needs.
Anal Phase

• The aggressive drive, which during the first year of life takes the form of oral
sadism, reaches fuller development during the second year when the anus
emerges as a sexually pleasurable zone. Because this period is characterized by
satisfaction gained through aggressive behavior and through the excretory
function, Freud called it the sadistic-anal phase or, more briefly, the anal phase of
development.
• This phase is divided into two subphases, the early anal and the late anal. During
the early anal period, children receive satisfaction by destroying or losing objects.
At this time, the destructive nature of the sadistic drive is stronger than the erotic
one, and children often behave aggressively toward their parents for frustrating
them with toilet training.
• Then, when children enter the late anal period, they sometimes take a friendly
interest toward their feces, an interest that stems from the erotic pleasure of
defecating. Frequently, children will present their feces to the parents as a valued
prize. If their behavior is accepted and praised by their parents, then children are
likely to grow into generous and magnanimous adults.
• However, if their “gift” is rejected in a punitive fashion, children may adopt
another method of obtaining anal pleasure—withholding the feces until the
pressure becomes both painful and erotically stimulating. This mode of narcissistic
and masochistic pleasure lays the foundation for the anal character—people who
continue to receive erotic satisfaction by keeping and possessing objects and by
arranging them in an excessively neat and orderly fashion.
• Freud hypothesized that people who grow into anal characters were, as children,
overly resistant to toilet training, often holding back their feces and prolonging
the time of training beyond that usually required. This anal eroticism becomes
transformed into the anal triad of orderliness, stinginess, and obstinacy that
typifies the adult anal character.
• During the oral and anal stages, no basic distinction exists between male and
female psychosexual growth. Children of either gender can develop an active or a
passive orientation. The active attitude often is characterized by what Freud
considered the masculine qualities of dominance and sadism, whereas the passive
orientation is usually marked by the feminine qualities of voyeurism and
masochism. However, either orientation, or any combination of the two, can
develop in both girls and boys.
Phallic Phase
At approximately 3 or 4 years of age, children begin a third stage of infantile
development— the phallic phase, a time when the genital area becomes the leading erogenous
zone.

• This stage is marked for the first time by a dichotomy between male and female
development, a distinction that Freud believed to be due to the anatomical
differences between the sexes.
• Masturbation, which originated during the oral stage, now enters a second, more
crucial phase. During the phallic stage, masturbation is nearly universal, but
because parents generally suppress these activities, children usually repress their
conscious desire to masturbate by the time their phallic period comes to an end.

In summary, the female and male phallic stages take quite different routes. First, the
castration complex for girls takes the form of penis envy—not castration anxiety. Second, penis
envy precedes the female Oedipus complex, whereas for boys the opposite is true; that is, the
castration anxiety follows the male Oedipus complex. Third, because penis envy takes place prior
to the female Oedipus complex, little girls do not experience a traumatic event comparable to
boys’ castration anxiety. Fourth, because girls do not experience this traumatic event the female
Oedipus complex is more slowly and less completely dissolved than the male Oedipus complex.

Latency Period

• Freud believed that, from the 4th or 5th year until puberty, both boys and girls
usually, but not always, go through a period of dormant psychosexual
development. This latency stage is brought about partly by parents’ attempts to
punish or discourage sexual activity in their young children.
• If parental suppression is successful, children will repress their sexual drive and
direct their psychic energy toward school, friendships, hobbies, and other
nonsexual activities. However, the latency stage may also have roots in our
phylogenetic endowment. Thus, the prohibition of sexual activity is part of our
phylogenetic endowment and needs no personal experiences of punishment for
sexual activities to repress the sexual drive.
• Continued latency is reinforced through constant suppression by parents and
teachers and by internal feelings of shame, guilt, and morality. The sexual drive,
of course, still exists during latency, but its aim has been inhibited. The sublimated
libido now shows itself in social and cultural accomplishments.
Genital Period

Puberty signals a reawakening of the sexual aim and the beginning of the genital period.
During puberty, the diphasic sexual life of a person enters a second stage, which has basic
differences from the infantile period:

• First, adolescents give up autoeroticism and direct their sexual energy toward another
person instead of toward themselves.
• Second, reproduction is now possible.
• Third, although penis envy may continue to linger in girls, the vagina finally obtains the
same status for them that the penis had for them during infancy. Parallel to this, boys
now see the female organ as a sought-after object rather than a source of trauma.

The mouth, anus, and other pleasure-producing areas take an auxiliary position to the
genitals, which now attain supremacy as an erogenous zone.

Psychosexual Theory of Development

Ego Defense Mechanisms by Sigmund Freud

Although defense mechanisms are normal and universally used, when carried to an
extreme they lead to compulsive, repetitive, and neurotic behavior.

1. Repression

The most basic defense mechanism, because it is involved in each of the others, is
repression. Whenever the ego is threatened by undesirable id impulses, it protects itself by
repressing those impulses; that is, it forces threatening feelings into the unconscious.

What happens to these impulses after they have become unconscious? Freud believed
that several possibilities exist.
 • First, the impulses may remain unchanged in the unconscious.
• Second, they could force their way into consciousness in an unaltered form, in
which case they would create more anxiety than the person could handle, and the
person would be overwhelmed with anxiety.
• A third and much more common fate of repressed drives is that they are expressed
in displaced or disguised forms.

Repressed drives may be disguised as physical symptoms, for example, sexual impotency
in a man troubled by sexual guilt. Repressed drives may also find an outlet in dreams, slips of the
tongue, or one of the other defense mechanisms.

2. Reaction Formation

One of the ways in which a repressed impulse may become conscious is through adopting
a disguise that is directly opposite its original form.

An example of a reaction formation can be seen in a young woman who deeply resents
and hates her mother. Because she knows that society demands affection toward parents, such
conscious hatred for her mother would produce too much anxiety. To avoid painful anxiety, the
young woman concentrates on the opposite impulse—love. Her “love” for her mother, however,
is not genuine.

Freud believed that reaction formations are limited to a single object; for example, people
with reactive love shower affection only on the person toward whom they feel unconscious
hatred.

3. Displacement

In displacement, people can redirect their unacceptable urges onto a variety of people or
objects so that the original impulse is disguised or concealed.

4. Fixation

The process of psychologically growing up, however, is not without stressful and anxious
moments. When the prospect of taking the next step becomes too anxiety provoking, the ego
may resort to the strategy of remaining at the present, more comfortable psychological stage.
Technically, fixation is the permanent attachment of the libido onto an earlier, more primitive
stage of development.

People who continually derive pleasure from eating, smoking, or talking may have an oral
fixation, whereas those who are obsessed with neatness and orderliness may possess an anal
fixation.
 5. Regression

Once the libido has passed a developmental stage, it may, during times of stress and
anxiety, revert back to that earlier stage. A common way for adults to react to anxiety-producing
situations is to revert to earlier, safer, more secure patterns of behavior and to invest their libido
onto more primitive and familiar objects. Under extreme stress one adult may adopt the fetal
position, another may return home to mother, and still another may react by remaining all day
in bed, well covered from the cold and threatening world.

Regressive behavior is similar to fixated behavior in that it is rigid and infantile.

Regressions, however, are usually temporary, whereas fixations demand a more or less
permanent expenditure of psychic energy.

6. Projection

When an internal impulse provokes too much anxiety, the ego may reduce that anxiety
by attributing the unwanted impulse to an external object, usually another person. This is the
defense mechanism of projection, which can be defined as seeing in others unacceptable feelings
or tendencies that actually reside in one’s own unconscious.

For example, a man may consistently interpret the actions of older women as attempted
seductions. Consciously, the thought of sexual intercourse with older women may be intensely
repugnant to him, but buried in his unconscious is a strong erotic attraction to these women. In
this example, the young man deludes himself into believing that he has no sexual feelings for
older women. Although this projection erases most of his anxiety and guilt, it permits him to
maintain a sexual interest in women who remind him of his mother.

An extreme type of projection is paranoia, a mental disorder characterized by powerful

delusions of jealousy and persecution. Paranoia is not an inevitable outcome of projection but
simply a severe variety of it.

7. Introjection

Whereas projection involves placing an unwanted impulse onto an external object,

introjection is a defense mechanism whereby people incorporate positive qualities of another
person into their own ego. People introject characteristics that they see as valuable and that will
permit them to feel better about themselves. Freud saw the resolution of the Oedipus complex
as the prototype of introjection. During the Oedipal period, the young child introjects the
authority and values of one or both parents—an introjection that sets into motion the beginning
of the superego. Nevertheless, people of any age can reduce the anxiety associated with feelings
of inadequacy by adopting or introjecting the values, beliefs, and mannerisms of other people.
 8. Sublimation

According to Freud, one mechanism—sublimation—helps both the individual and the

social group. Sublimation is the repression of the genital aim of Eros by substituting a cultural or
social aim. The sublimated aim is expressed most obviously in creative cultural accomplishments
such as art, music, and literature, but more subtly, it is part of all human relationships and all
social pursuits.

9. Rationalization

According to Freud, this defense mechanism can be manifested through expression of

reasons to protect the ego from any form of embarrassment or anxiety.

a. Sour Grape – pretending to dislike what you really like.

b. Sweet Lemon – pretending to like what you really dislike.

Psychosocial Theory of Development by Erik Erikson

Erik Erikson believed that the ego develops throughout the various stages of life according
to an epigenetic principle, a term borrowed from embryology. Growth takes place according to
the epigenetic principle. That is, one component part arises out of another and has its own time
of ascendancy, but it does not entirely replace earlier components.

In every stage of life there is an interaction of opposites—that is, a conflict between a

syntonic (harmonious) element and a dystonic (disruptive) element. During each of the other
seven stages, people must have both harmonious (syntonic) and disruptive (dystonic)
experiences (Malana n.d). At each stage, the conflict between the dystonic and syntonic elements
produces an ego quality or ego strength, which Erikson referred to as a basic strength. For
instance, from the antithesis between trust and mistrust emerges hope, an ego quality that
allows an infant to move into the next stage. Too little basic strength at any one stage results in
a core pathology for that stage.

For example, a child who does not acquire sufficient hope during infancy will develop the
antithesis or opposite of hope, namely, withdrawal. Again, each stage has a potential core
pathology.
Stage 1: Trust vs. Mistrust

The first stage of Erikson's theory of psychosocial development occurs between birth and
1 year of age and is the most fundamental stage in life. Because an infant is utterly dependent,
developing trust is based on the dependability and quality of the child's caregivers.

At this point in development, the child is utterly dependent upon adult caregivers for
everything they need to survive including food, love, warmth, safety, and nurturing. If a caregiver
fails to provide adequate care and love, the child will come to feel that they cannot trust or
depend upon the adults in their life.

Outcomes

If a child successfully develops trust, the child will feel safe

and secure in the world. Caregivers who are inconsistent,
emotionally unavailable, or rejecting contribute to feelings of
mistrust in the children under their care. Failure to develop trust
will result in fear and a belief that the world is inconsistent and
unpredictable.

During the first stage of psychosocial development, children develop a sense of trust
when caregivers provide reliability, care, and affection. A lack of this will lead to mistrust.
 No child is going to develop a sense of 100% trust or 100% doubt. Erikson believed that
successful development was all about striking a balance between the two opposing sides. When
this happens, children acquire hope, which Erikson described as an openness to experience
tempered by some wariness that danger may be present.

Subsequent work by researchers including John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth

demonstrated the importance of trust in forming healthy attachments during childhood and
adulthood.

Stage 2: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt

The second stage of Erikson's theory of psychosocial development takes place during
early childhood and is focused on children developing a greater sense of personal control.

The Role of Independence

At this point in development, children are just starting to gain a little independence. They
are starting to perform basic actions on their own and making simple decisions about what they
prefer. By allowing kids to make choices and gain control, parents and caregivers can help
children develop a sense of autonomy.

Potty Training

The essential theme of this stage is that children need to develop a sense of personal
control over physical skills and a sense of independence. Potty training plays an important role
in helping children develop this sense of autonomy.

Like Freud, Erikson believed that toilet training was a vital part of this process. However,
Erikson's reasoning was quite different than that of Freud's. Erikson believed that learning to
control one's bodily functions leads to a feeling of control and a sense of independence. Other
important events include gaining more control over food choices, toy preferences, and clothing
selection.

Outcomes

Children who struggle and who are shamed for their

accidents may be left without a sense of personal control. Success
during this stage of psychosocial development leads to feelings of
autonomy; failure results in feelings of shame and doubt.
Finding Balance

Children who successfully complete this stage feel secure and confident, while those who
do not are left with a sense of inadequacy and self-doubt. Erikson believed that achieving a
balance between autonomy and shame and doubt would lead to will, which is the belief that
children can act with intention, within reason and limits.

Stage 3: Initiative vs. Guilt

The third stage of psychosocial development takes place during the preschool years. At
this point in psychosocial development, children begin to assert their power and control over the
world through directing play and other social interactions.

Children who are successful at this stage feel capable and able to lead others. Those who
fail to acquire these skills are left with a sense of guilt, self-doubt, and lack of initiative.

Outcomes

The major theme of the third stage of psychosocial development is

that children need to begin asserting control and power over the
environment. Success in this stage leads to a sense of purpose.
Children who try to exert too much power experience disapproval,
resulting in a sense of guilt.

When an ideal balance of individual initiative and a willingness to work with others is
achieved, the ego quality known as purpose emerges.

Stage 4: Industry vs. Inferiority

The fourth psychosocial stage takes place during the early school years from
approximately ages 5 to 11. Through social interactions, children begin to develop a sense of
pride in their accomplishments and abilities.

Children need to cope with new social and academic demands. Success leads to a sense
of competence, while failure results in feelings of inferiority.

Outcomes

Children who are encouraged and commended by parents and

teachers develop a feeling of competence and belief in their skills.
Those who receive little or no encouragement from parents,
teachers, or peers will doubt their abilities to be successful.
 Successfully finding a balance at this stage of psychosocial development leads to the
strength known as competence, in which children develop a belief in their abilities to handle the
tasks set before them.

Stage 5: Identity vs. Confusion

The fifth psychosocial stage takes place during the often turbulent teenage years. This
stage plays an essential role in developing a sense of personal identity which will continue to
influence behavior and development for the rest of a person's life. Teens need to develop a sense
of self and personal identity. Success leads to an ability to stay true to yourself, while failure leads
to role confusion and a weak sense of self.

During adolescence, children explore their independence and develop a sense of

self. Those who receive proper encouragement and reinforcement through personal exploration
will emerge from this stage with a strong sense of self and feelings of independence and control.
Those who remain unsure of their beliefs and desires will feel insecure and confused about
themselves and the future.

What Is Identity?

When psychologists talk about identity, they are referring to all of the beliefs, ideals, and
values that help shape and guide a person's behavior. Completing this stage successfully leads to
fidelity, which Erikson described as an ability to live by society's standards and expectations.

While Erikson believed that each stage of psychosocial development was important, he
placed a particular emphasis on the development of ego identity. Ego identity is the conscious
sense of self that we develop through social interaction and becomes a central focus during the
identity versus confusion stage of psychosocial development.

According to Erikson, our ego identity constantly changes due to new experiences and
information we acquire in our daily interactions with others. As we have new experiences, we
also take on challenges that can help or hinder the development of identity.

Why Identity Is Important

Our personal identity gives each of us an integrated and cohesive sense of self that
endures through our lives. Our sense of personal identity is shaped by our experiences and
interactions with others, and it is this identity that helps guide our actions, beliefs, and behaviors
as we age.
Stage 6: Intimacy vs. Isolation

Young adults need to form intimate, loving relationships with other people. Success leads
to strong relationships, while failure results in loneliness and isolation. This stage covers the
period of early adulthood when people are exploring personal relationships.

Erikson believed it was vital that people develop close, committed relationships with
other people. Those who are successful at this step will form relationships that are enduring and
secure.

Building on Earlier Stages

Remember that each step builds on skills learned in previous steps. Erikson believed that
a strong sense of personal identity was important for developing intimate relationships. Studies
have demonstrated that those with a poor sense of self tend to have less committed relationships
and are more likely to struggler with emotional isolation, loneliness, and depression.

Successful resolution of this stage results in the virtue known as love. It is marked by the
ability to form lasting, meaningful relationships with other people.

Stage 7: Generativity vs. Stagnation

Adults need to create or nurture things that will outlast them, often by having children or
creating a positive change that benefits other people. Success leads to feelings of usefulness and
accomplishment, while failure results in shallow involvement in the world.

During adulthood, we continue to build our lives, focusing on our career and family. Those
who are successful during this phase will feel that they are contributing to the world by being
active in their home and community. Those who fail to attain this skill will feel unproductive and
uninvolved in the world.

Care is the virtue achieved when this stage is handled successfully. Being proud of your
accomplishments, watching your children grow into adults, and developing a sense of unity with
your life partner are important accomplishments of this stage.

Stage 8: Integrity vs. Despair

The final psychosocial stage occurs during old age and is focused on reflecting back on
life. At this point in development, people look back on the events of their lives and determine if
they are happy with the life that they lived or if they regret the things they did or didn't do.
 Erikson's theory differed from many others because it addressed development
throughout the entire lifespan, including old age. Older adults need to look back on life and feel
a sense of fulfillment. Success at this stage leads to feelings of wisdom, while failure results in
regret, bitterness, and despair.

At this stage, people reflect back on the events of their lives and take stock. Those who
look back on a life they feel was well-lived will feel satisfied and ready to face the end of their
lives with a sense of peace. Those who look back and only feel regret will instead feel fearful that
their lives will end without accomplishing the things they feel they should have.

Outcomes

Those who are unsuccessful during this stage will feel that
their life has been wasted and may experience many regrets. The
person will be left with feelings of bitterness and despair.

Those who feel proud of their accomplishments will feel a

sense of integrity. Successfully completing this phase means
looking back with few regrets and a general feeling of satisfaction.
These individuals will attain wisdom, even when confronting death.

It is important to remember that both the psychosexual and psychosocial stages are just
theories of how personality develops. Some research may support certain aspects of these
theoretical framework, but that does not mean that every aspect of the theories is supported by
evidence.

The theories can, however, be a helpful way to think about some of the different conflicts
and challenges that people may face as they go through life.

REFLECTION:

1. Recall your social experiences in each stage of Psychosocial Theory and analyze how
did it affect your behavior and/or personality today.
SELF-CONCEPT BY CARL ROGERS

Rogers rejected the deterministic nature of both psychoanalysis and behaviorism and
maintained that we behave as we do because of the way we perceive our situation.

"As no one else can know how we perceive, we are

the best experts on ourselves"

-Carl Rogers

Central to Rogers' personality theory is the notion of self or self-concept. This is defined
as "the organized, consistent set of perceptions and beliefs about oneself."

The self is the humanistic term for who we really are as a person. The self is our inner
personality, and can be likened to the soul, or Freud's psyche. The self is influenced by the
experiences a person has in their life, and out interpretations of those experiences.

Two primary sources that influence our self-concept are:

➢ childhood experiences, and

➢ evaluation by others.

The perceptions and beliefs that comprise our self-concept are called self-schemas
(Palean et. al, 2018). Self-schemas are formed by numerous factors that we may be aware or
unaware of, some of which are:

➢ past experiences,
➢ personality traits,
➢ abilities,
➢ physical features,
➢ values,
➢ goals,
➢ social roles,
➢ own observations, and
➢ feedback from others (Weiten et. al., 2014 as cited by Palean et.al, 2018).

Each factor of our self-schema is dynamic, it changes as we grow. It either improves or

regresses as we go through life every day and may be affected as we expose ourselves to various
social media content.

Our self-schemas “influence not only current behavior but also future behavior” (Weiten
et.al, 2014, p.116).
 According to Rogers (1959), we want to feel, experience and behave in ways which are
consistent with our self-image and which reflect what we would like to be like, our ideal-self. The
closer our self-image and ideal-self are to each other, the more consistent or congruent we are
and the higher our sense of self-worth.
A person is said to be in a state of incongruence if some of the totality of their experience
is unacceptable to them and is denied or distorted in the self-image.
The humanistic approach states that the self is composed of concepts unique to
ourselves. The self-concept includes three components:

➢ Self-worth

Self-worth (or self-esteem) comprises what we think about ourselves. Rogers believed
feelings of self-worth developed in early childhood and were formed from the interaction of the
child with the mother and father.

➢ Self-image

How we see ourselves, which is important to good psychological health. Self-image

includes the influence of our body image on inner personality. At a simple level, we might
perceive ourselves as a good or bad person, beautiful or ugly. Self-image affects how a person
thinks, feels and behaves in the world.

➢ Ideal-self

This is the person who we would like to be. It consists of our goals and ambitions in life,
and is dynamic – i.e., forever changing. The ideal self in childhood is not the ideal self in our teens
or late twenties etc.

Rogers also asserted that we have two selves: the Ideal Self and the Real Self.

Ideal Self Real Self

person we who we
want to be actually are

idealized
how I see
version of
myself
ourself

how we also called

should be "actual self"
 Our notion of both the ideal and real selves are results of our self-schemas. Our ideal self
is essential in guiding and motivating us to behave in a way that would lead us to the best version
of who we want to be. It can motivate the real self to strive and continue involving in personal
growth.

Incongruent and Congruent Self (Weiten et al, 2014)

When there is a only a small gap between the real and the ideal self and we feel good
about our real selves, it is said that there is congruence. Having this alignment gives the self:
satisfaction and sense of self-actualization or fulfilment leading to a high self-esteem.

However, when we are disappointed or frustrated about ourselves, it is said that there is
incongruence or misalignment or disparity or a huge gap between our real and ideal self (Palean
et. al., 2018). This results to us being distressed, anxious, leading to a low self-esteem or self-
worth and be defensive in our actions. In cases where in the gap between the real and the ideal
self is immense, this may cause instability to one’s psychological well-being (Palean et.al, 2018).

Having this incongruence of the real and the ideal self may be likened into the concept of
Idealized Self-image by Karen Horney. As people build an idealized image of their self, their real
self lag farther and farther behind. This gap creates a growing alienation between the real self
and the idealized self and leads neurotics to hate and despise their actual self because it falls so
short in matching the glorified self-image. On the otherhand, Horney believed that human beings,
if given an environment of discipline and warmth, will develop feelings of security and self-
confidence and a tendency to move toward self-realization (Malana, n.d).

Neurotics glorify and worship themselves in different ways. Compliant people see
themselves as good and saintly; Aggressive people build an idealized image of themselves as
strong, heroic, and omnipotent; Detached neurotics paint their self-portraits as wise, self-
sufficient, and independent.
 As the idealized self-image becomes solidified, neurotics begin to believe in the reality of
that image. They lose touch with their real self and use the idealized self as the standard for self-
evaluation. Rather than growing toward self-realization, they move toward actualizing their
idealized self. Horney recognized three aspects of the idealized image:

(1) the neurotic search for glory,

(2) neurotic claims, and

(3) neurotic pride.

The Neurotic Search for Glory

As neurotics come to believe in the reality of their idealized self, they begin to incorporate
it into all aspects of their lives—their goals, their self-concept, and their relations with others.
Horney referred to this comprehensive drive toward actualizing the ideal self as the neurotic
search for glory.

In addition to self-idealization, the neurotic search for glory includes three other
elements: the need for perfection, neurotic ambition, and the drive toward a vindictive triumph.

1. Need for Perfection. The need for perfection refers to the drive to mold the whole
personality into the idealized self. Neurotics are not content to merely make a few alterations;
nothing short of complete perfection is acceptable. They try to achieve perfection by erecting a
complex set of “shoulds” and “should nots”. Horney referred to this drive as the tyranny of the
should. Striving toward an imaginary picture of perfection, neurotics unconsciously tell
themselves: “Forget about the disgraceful creature you actually are; this is how you should be.”

2. Neurotic Ambition. A second key element in the neurotic search for glory is neurotic
ambition, that is, the compulsive drive toward superiority. Although neurotics have an
exaggerated need to excel in everything, they ordinarily channel their energies into those
activities that are most likely to bring success. This drive, therefore, may take several different
forms during a person’s lifetime.

3. Vindictive Triumph. The third aspect of the neurotic search for glory is the drive toward
a vindictive triumph, the most destructive element of all. The need for a vindictive triumph may
be disguised as a drive for achievement or success, but “its chief aim is to put others to shame or
defeat them through one’s very success; or to attain the power . . . to inflict suffering on them—
mostly of a humiliating kind.”
The Neurotic Claims

A second aspect of the idealized image is neurotic claims. In their search for glory,
neurotics build a fantasy world—a world that is out of sync with the real world. Believing that
something is wrong with the outside world, they proclaim that they are special and therefore
entitled to be treated in accordance with their idealized view of themselves.

When normal wishes are not fulfilled, people become understandably frustrated; but
when neurotic claims are not met, neurotics become indignant, bewildered, and unable to
comprehend why others have not granted their claims. The difference between normal desires
and neurotic claims is illustrated by a situation in which many people are waiting in line for tickets
for a popular movie. Neurotic people truly believe that they are entitled to be near the front of
the line, and they feel no guilt or remorse in moving ahead of others.

The Neurotic Pride

The third aspect of an idealized image is neurotic pride, a false pride based not on a
realistic view of the true self but on a spurious image of the idealized self. Neurotics imagine
themselves to be glorious, wonderful, and perfect, so when others fail to treat them with special
consideration, their neurotic pride is hurt. To prevent the hurt, they avoid people who refuse to
yield to their neurotic claims, and instead, they try to become associated with socially prominent
and prestigious institutions and acquisitions.

Self-Hatred

People with a neurotic search for glory can never be happy with themselves because
when they realize that their real self does not match the insatiable demands of their idealized
self, they will begin to hate and despise themselves.

Horney recognized six major ways in which people express self-hatred:

1. Relentless demands on the self. First, self-hatred may result in relentless demands on
the self, which are exemplified by the tyranny of the should. For example, some people make
demands on themselves that don’t stop even when they achieve a measure of success. These
people continue to push themselves toward perfection because they believe they should be
perfect.

2. Merciless self-accusation. The second mode of expressing self-hatred is merciless self-

accusation. Neurotics constantly berate themselves. “If people only knew me, they would realize
that I’m pretending to be knowledgeable, competent, and sincere. I’m really a fraud, but no one
knows it but me”. Self-accusation may take a variety of forms—from obviously grandiose
expressions, such as taking responsibility for natural disasters, to scrupulously questioning the
virtue of their own motivations.

3. Self-contempt. Third, self-hatred may take the form of self-contempt, which might be
expressed as belittling, disparaging, doubting, discrediting, and ridiculing oneself. Self-contempt
prevents people from striving for improvement or achievement. A young man may say to himself,
“You conceited idiot! What makes you think you can get a date with the best-looking woman in
town?” A woman may attribute her successful career to “luck”. Although these people may be
aware of their behavior, they have no perception of the self-hatred that motivates it.

4. Self-frustration. A fourth expression of self-hatred is self-frustration. Horney

distinguished between healthy self-discipline and neurotic self-frustration. The former involves
postponing or forgoing pleasurable activities in order to achieve reasonable goals. Self-
frustration stems from self-hatred and is designed to actualize an inflated self-image. Neurotics
are frequently shackled by taboos against enjoyment. “I don’t deserve a new car”. “I must not
wear nice clothes because many people around the world are in rags.” “I must not strive for a
better job because I’m not good enough for it”.

5. Self-torment. Fifth, self-hatred may be manifested as self-torment, or self-torture.

Although self-torment can exist in each of the other forms of self-hatred, it becomes a separate
category when people’s main intention is to inflict harm or suffering on themselves. Some people
attain masochistic satisfaction by anguishing over a decision, exaggerating the pain of a
headache, cutting themselves with a knife, starting a fight that they are sure to lose, or inviting
physical abuse.

6. Self-destructive actions and impulses. The sixth and final form of self-hatred is self-
destructive actions and impulses, which may be either physical or psychological, conscious or
unconscious, acute or chronic, carried out in action or enacted only in the imagination.
Overeating, abusing alcohol and other drugs, working too hard, driving recklessly, and suicide are
common expressions of physical self-destruction. Neurotics may also attack themselves
psychologically, for example, quitting a job just when it begins to be fulfilling, breaking off a
healthy relationship in favor of a neurotic one, or engaging in promiscuous sexual activities.

SELF-EFFICACY THEORY

Self-efficacy is not self-image, self-worth, or any other similar construct. It is often

assigned the same meaning as variables such as these, along with confidence, self-esteem, or
optimism; however, it has a slightly different definition than any of these related concepts.

Self-efficacy is the belief we have in our own abilities, specifically our ability to meet the
challenges ahead of us and complete a task successfully (Akhtar, 2008). General self-efficacy
refers to our overall belief in our ability to succeed, but there are many more specific forms of
self-efficacy as well (e.g., academic, parenting, sports).

So what does high self-efficacy look like?

High self-efficacy can manifest as one or more of the following traits and behaviors,
among others:

1. A student who is not particularly gifted in a certain subject but believes in her own ability
to learn it well;
2. A man who has had bad luck with relationships so far, but retains a positive outlook on
his ability to connect with his upcoming date;
3. An expectant mother who is nervous about caring for a new baby, but believes that she
has what it takes to succeed, no matter how difficult or scary it is;
4. A new graduate who takes a high-profile, high-status job that she has never done before,
but that she feels she can succeed in;
5. An entrepreneur who pours his heart and soul into establishing his business, but quickly
moves on to his next great idea when his business is hit with an insurmountable and
unexpected challenge.

Albert Bandura and His Model

The psychological theory of self-efficacy grew out of the research of Albert Bandura. He
noticed that there was a mechanism that played a huge role in people’s lives that, up to that
point, hadn’t really been defined or systematically observed. This mechanism was the belief that
people have in their ability to influence the events of their own lives.

Bandura proposed that perceived self-efficacy influences what coping behavior is

initiated when an individual is met with stress and challenges, along with determining how much
effort will be expended to reach one’s goals and for how long those goals will be pursued
(1999).He posited that self-efficacy is a self-sustaining trait; when a person is driven to work
through their problems on their own terms, they gain positive experiences that in turn boost
their self-efficacy even more.

Locus of Control

The locus of control refers to where you believe the power to alter your life events
resides: within you (internal locus of control) or outside of you (external locus of control).

If you immediately have thoughts like, “I only failed because the teacher graded unfairly—
I couldn’t do anything to improve my score” or “She left me because she’s cold-hearted and
difficult to live with, and I’m not,” you likely have an external locus of control. That means that
you do not have a solid sense of belief in your own abilities.

In juxtaposition to the external locus of control is the internal locus of control, in which
an individual is quick to admit her own mistakes and failures, and is willing to take the credit and
blame whenever it is due to her.

Self-efficacy and an internal locus of control often go hand-in-hand, but too far in either
direction can be problematic; those who blame themselves for everything are not likely to be
healthy and happy in their lives, while those who don’t blame themselves for anything are likely
not completely in touch with reality and may have trouble relating to and connecting with others.

Social Cognitive Theory and Self-Efficacy

The Social Cognitive Theory is also based on the work of Albert Bandura and incorporates
the idea of self-efficacy.

This theory posits that effective learning happens when an individual is in a social context
and able to engage in both dynamic and reciprocal interactions between the person, the
environment, and the behavior (LaMorte, 2016). It is the only theory of its kind with this emphasis
on the relevance of the social context and the importance of maintenance behavior in addition
to initiating behavior.

Social Cognitive Theory (SCT)

SCT is based on six constructs:

➢ Reciprocal Determinism: the dynamic interaction of person and behavior;

➢ Behavioral Capability: the individual’s actual ability to perform the appropriate
behavior;
➢ Observational Learning: learning a new skill or piece of knowledge by observing
others (and potentially modeling them as well);
➢ Reinforcements: the external responses to the individual’s behavior that either
encourage or discourage the behavior;
➢ Expectations: the anticipated consequences of behavior;
➢ Self-efficacy: the person’s confidence in his or her ability to perform a behavior
(LaMorte, 2016).
MULTIPLE versus UNIFIED SELF & TRUE versus FALSE SELF

No adolescent can fully understand the self instantly. He/she needs to understand that
the concept of having the self as multiple or unified and true or false self. Coping with different
selves may be difficult task for adolescents.

According to Winncott, this false self is used to hide and protect the true self. True self is
basically the real or the truth about yourself while false self is altering the true self just to please
the society. Based on specialists, the perception of an individual about themselves depend on
the situation. Like for example, your behavior when you are inside of your home versus when
you are at outside. Because most of the time we all know that when we are inside of our own
house we can do all thing what we want even if the actions are not proper but when we are
outside for example attending on an event you will behave prim and proper or according to the
rule – and there the false self enters.

One more example is when you’re with your crush or special someone. You always tend
to be nice, right? You always want to be good looking – you fix yourself. But the truth is if you are
alone or there is no special event you do not care about yourself especially on your looks. You do
not comb your hair, you do not put make-ups, or even wear nice clothes right?

In conclusion, adolescent display false self to impress others.

REFLECTION

1. Recall some moments when you had to alter your true self.

William James’ “I” and “Me” Self

According to William James the self is divide into two categories. The first one is the I-Self
also called as a thinking self. The I-self is cognitive, how we interpret the world falls under the
thinking self. When we notice that we are struggling in our thoughts, we can deduce that we are
fused with the cognitive creations of the thinking Self. The I-Self mirrors the souls and mind or
what kind of person he/she is and it is also called pure ego. The Thinking Self is quite capable of
taking it all for granted. After all, it truly thinks it has done this stuff before, so no further attention
to the present moment is required. Rather than help us connect with our reality in the present
moment, the Thinking Self often captures our focus and takes us mentally to seemingly more
interesting thoughts in a different time and place.
 The other one is the Me-Self that is empirical. It is based on personal experiences of a
person. It does not matter if the experience is new, exciting, familiar, or unpleasant– it’s all simply
acceptable, it is all ok. And, a fascinating thing is that when we have an attitude of openness and
curiosity in the present, moments which the thinking Self had anticipated with dread often either
disappear or they turn out to be much less unpleasant than we had expected.

The Me-Self is subdivided into three categories:

➢ the material self,

➢ social self, and
➢ spiritual self.

The material self includes those material basic needs of the in order for us to live such
that clothes, house, foods, and such.

The social self refers to the social relationship of the self within the society. How she/he
reacts or communicate with her/his surroundings. According to James’s people have different
social selves depending on the context of social situation. Which is true because me as a person
I have different personality or attitude when I’m with my real and close friends than with my
classmates only. My level of childishness and energy is really different when I’m with them.

Then the last one is the spiritual self it refers to the unseen part of the physical self. It is
the soul of the body. Our five senses and our emotions may be access points or portals into
experiencing the spiritual self. And in order to fully understand the spiritual self we need
introspection. We need to reflect everyday so that we can fully know ourselves and may attain
the completeness and feel the satisfaction in our lives.