Paragraph Development Exercise

● After Bastian gives the Childlike Empress her new name, Moon Child, she disappears

and leaves him with the AURYN in Fantastica.

○ Transition sentence from the previous paragraph and introduces the new topic

● The AURYN is a powerful object in Bastian’s hands, since it fulfills any wishes that

Bastian has, while unknowingly, taking away memories of his original life.

○ Context of the topic

○ Revision: The AURYN is a powerful object in Bastian’s hands, since it fulfills

any wishes that Bastian has, while taking away memories of his original life.

■ Cut out unnecessary wording

● At first, Bastian uses the AURYN for reasons that he deems “good” but with time, the

power of AURYN causes him to go out of control and use it for more selfish reasons.

○ Claim of Bastian’s usage of the AURYN

● In the beginning, Bastian has good intentions and says, “​​Here's my wish: That you shall

fall asleep. That when you wake up, you shall crawl out of your skins and turn into

bright-colored butterflies. That you shall be lighthearted and happy" (Ende 291).

○ Evidence to support claim

○ Revision: Living in Fantastica are constantly-depressed worm-like creatures

named Acharis which Bastian encounters. In the beginning, Bastian has good

intentions and says, “​​Here's my wish: That you shall fall asleep. That when you

wake up, you shall crawl out of your skins and turn into bright-colored butterflies.

That you shall be lighthearted and happy" (Ende 291).

■ Added more context on Acharis

● However, near the end, Bastian begins to use his wishes for selfish reasons, such as for

when he is being crowned emperor, “Every single delegate, when his turn came, had to

bow down before the throne, touch the ground three times with his forehead, kiss

Bastian's right foot” (Ende 367).

○ Evidence to support claim and show change in character

● Ende creates a contrast in Bastian’s personality using these events to show how too much

power can end up being destructive. Originally Bastian would use his wishes on actions

that he deems helpful to others, such as turning the Acharis, the Everlasting Weepers into

the Shlamoofs, the Everlasting Laughers, since he saw how miserable they were in their

bodies. However as time went on, he starts to use his wishes for his own gain and

pleasure where he made citizens of Fantastica kiss his foot to prove their loyalty to him

being the new ruler.

○ Explanation on the contrast of character change and why it is significant

○ Revision: Ende creates a contrast in Bastian’s personality using these events to

show how too much power can end up being destructive. Originally Bastian

would use his wishes on actions that he deems helpful to others, such as turning

the Acharis, the Everlasting Weepers into the Shlamoofs, the Everlasting

Laughers, since he saw how miserable they were in their bodies. However as time

went on, he starts to use his wishes for his own gain and pleasure.

■ Cut out repetitiveness

● Furthermore, Bastian becomes paranoid and loses trust in Atreyu as the power gets to his

head when Atreyu was actually trying to save him. Bastian says, “I didn't ask for your
 opinion. You make me sick with your lecturing. And now you question my victory and

ridicule my magnanimity … Shut up and leave me be! … I'm sick of you!” (Ende 331).

○ Evidence for a different claim

● Up until this point, Atreyu was someone that Bastian considered his friend and someone

he could confide in, but with the excess of power Bastian has, he ends up disrespecting

and ignoring Atreyu.

○ Claim that the evidence above is proving

○ Revision: Up until this point, Atreyu was someone that Bastian considered his

friend and someone he could confide in, but with the excess of power Bastian has,

he ends up disrespecting and ignoring Atreyu. Xayide takes advantage of Bastian

in this situation as she has turned Bastian against one of his closest friends, which

furthers her agenda of turning him into an empty shell. Without a friendly advisor,

Xayide seizes the opportunity to convince Bastian to use his wishes for trivial

activities, which causes further memory loss for Bastian.

■ More in-depth reasoning

● Due to the excess of power, Bastian ends up losing parts of himself—his memories—to

get what he desires, transforming him into someone unrecognizable.With Bastian’s

character development, Ende teaches readers that too much power, such as having

unlimited wishes, can get to one’s head and change them into becoming selfish and

ignorant.

○ Wrap up paragraph

○ Revision: (Add to the end) With great power, Bastian also received great strength

through a sword which transformed him into an arrogant person.

■ This revision serves as a smoother transition into the next paragraph