CAIRO, DOROTHY MHEA C.

ZGE_1108
20211134611 DEC. 08 2021
I was excited and inquisitive when I first realized that I would be taking this course. I had the
feeling that I had a good grasp of myself. I assumed this since I'm a forthright person in general
– I've never been afraid to express how I felt, wanted, or thought. I discovered, though, that there
was still a lot I didn't know about myself, and in order to do so, I needed to describe some of my
experiences.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and panic attacks condition in the summer of 2018. This was a
really trying period in my life, and looking back, it's understandable that I would harm myself
mentally. I was brought up to think about the future all the time as a kid. Every action and decision
were planned to give me a smooth future. Despite my best intentions, this way of thinking turned
me into a perfectionist and over-thinker. I would worry about everything. When one ruminates, it
may lead to depression; when one worries, they may develop anxiety (Williams et al., 2007). In
the past, this had never led to me crying or breaking down, but I would become extremely
stressed. Instead of showing emotional negative effects, they would present themselves
physically: I would have bald spots from hair loss, I would lose weight, and I would look tired and
pale for days.
When I claimed that my overthinking had never resulted in emotional breakdowns, I meant that
I would continuously shut off my feelings before I could even feel them properly. I’d put them in
a box and stow them away in the recesses of my mind. I did this with feelings I thought were
“bad”- negative emotions that I believed would harm me. This was my prior self’s attempt at
emotion management, and I was completely unaware of it. This is essentially how we regulate
emotions, and I did so with the goal of achieving my objectives. Emotions that would prevent me
from achieving my goals were detected as child; they arose from my upbringing in which I was
expected to constantly be number one in all of my schools. To battle this, I’d use situation
selection, in which I took steps to guarantee that I got the result I wanted, or cognitive shift, in
which I deliberately changed my thoughts to “block” thye feeling from impacting me. The feelings
that I classified as having the potential to bring me pain, on the other hand were more recent.
I eventually reach a point where I can no longer endure all of my difficulties. I was aware that I
was troublesome, and I believed that no one could comprehend me. As a result, I repressed all
of my life’s issues. And I discovered in this course that burying all of your worries isn’t good at
all. Your mindful self must take command, and I've realized that repression isn’t my only option
for dealing with my concerns. I can shift my focus to something more beneficial this is referred
known as displacement. And there are other defense mechanisms I can employ to alleviate the
pain and anxiety I’m experiencing.
The module on habitus, gender, and sexuality is another lesson that is relevant to me right now.
This made me more accepting of people's differences. I was mistaken when I assumed I already
knew about these. I suppose no one can really comprehend these. Habitus is similar to your
comfort zone, and once you leave it, everything will appear to be incorrect. You will notice the
inequity. What makes this different from the other. Discrimination is also present here. This
paragraph makes me unhappy since I believe that everyone should have the same rights, yet
the various pillars of injustice indicate otherwise. And I believe I have already accepted these,
because in this world, unfairness is the only thing that is equal.
CAIRO, DOROTHY MHEA C. ZGE_1108
20211134611 DEC. 08 2021
To summarize, I assume we may not be able to effectively grasp ourselves. Our own selves are
always changing. It's alive with movement. I may be feeling this way right now, but I may already
be feeling that way once I finish this assignment. "Who am I?" I thought. " As the heading of this
blog because I believe this question will occupy my emotions till the day I die. No one really, not
even my own self, knows who I really am. But, as far as I'm aware, you are the only person who
can truly understand yourself. In my instance, I am unsure what is wrong with me, but I am
confident that something is wrong.