CHAPTER 11 THE FAMILY AND FAMILY PLANNING

(The Basic Umít of a Society)

"Do not undermine the role of the family in the creation of

society that is in total harmony with beauty. ... Destroy the
family
and you will destroy all!”
F.

Definition of Courtship

Courtship is an interlude to marriage. Social scientists found out that there are
two factors that are preparatory to courtship and these are physical
attraction, sexual attraction and then love. This only means that a person
will not court a girl if he is not attracted to her first; at the same time, the girl will
not answer yes if she is not physically attracted to the boy and of course in love.

1. How about love at first sight? Social scientists proved that one cannot fall in love if
he doesn't know the person well and this is the purpose of courtship. The
courtship period varies from person to person. That of Imelda and Ferdinand Marcos
was one week, called whirl wind romance; others month or year or more Regardless of period, what
is important is the feeling of love or being in love. However it should be noted that courtship
is not yet the end stage to marriage. It is engagement
The Filipino Way of Courtship
compte

Filipinos are naturally romantic people; in fact they have their own songs for love,
which are known as Kundiman. Gentlemen suitor usually sings Kundimans to his
beloved as a dramatic piece, during serenade or Harana right at the very window of the
lady whom he courts. What adds to the drama is that, it is done when
n is full. Even at this contemporary time, harana is still done in rural areas of Quezon, Bicol or
even Manila but the style is a bit modified, karaoke way.
en

Another unique practice during early Filipino courtship is the Dowry

system or bigay kaya. Here, the supposed groom to be will deliver a gift to the family
of the bride (money, piece of land, carabao, jewelries) as a token of gratitude for taking
care of his bride by her own family.

Pamamanhikan shall follow -- a process by which the groom's parents will formally give their
consent to their son, in asking the hand of the bride in marriage. Ordinarily, the groom shall
wedding expenses, though Ambagan, sharing, is very much
foot the bill of the
alive in Central Luzon, Southern Tagalog Region and part of the Visayas
Region. Ambagan is a process where the relatives of both bride and groom shall contribute
what the relatives can afford. This could be in the form of fuel logs, pigs and chickens, palay
or rice grains. Others will help in the cooking and cleaning the house that could be viewed as
another trace of bayanihan.

Definition of Family

Family is a group of people who consider themselves related by blood;

marriage or adoption, usually live together or as in the case of grown children, at
least have lived together. Note that a family is commonly binded by marriage, a mating
arrangement usually marked out by a ritual of some sort to indicate the couple's new public
status. (Henslin, 1993)
n

Tomas Andres has these words about Filipino Family. He said:

“The basic units of the Philippine social organizations are the elementary family which
includes the father, mother, and children, and the bilateral extended family which embraces
all relatives of the father and the mother. Of special importance is the sibling group, the
unit formed by brothers and sisters. There are no clans or similar unilateral kinship groups
in the Philippines. The elementary family and the sibling group form the primary
bases of corporate action.

The Philippine society may be characterized as familial. This means that the
influence of kinship, which centers on the family, is far-reaching. The
persuasive influence of the family upon all segments of Philippine social
organization can be illustrated in many ways. Religious responsibility, for
example, is familial rather than church-centered. Each home has a family
shrine. The large images carried in the community processions during Holy
Week are owned and kept by individual families, usually the wealthier ones.
The Filipino type of family has had a considerable influence on the forms
of religious beliefs and activities introduced by organized religions.”

Theoretical Explanations of Marriage and Family

2
A. The Functionalist Perspective
1. The family is universal because it serves functions essential to the
well-being of society:
economic production, socialization of children, care of the sick and aged,
recreation, sexual
control, and reproduction. 2 . The incest taboo (rules specifying which people
are too closely related to have sex or marry) S h elps the family avoid
confusion and forces people to look outside the family for marriage
partners. .. 3. Industrialization has made the family more fragile by weakening
its functions and removing
reasons for a family to struggle together against hardship, leading to higher
rates of divorce/
annulment of marriage. . 4. The nuclear family has few people it can depend
on for material and emotional support; thus, the
members of a nuclear family are vulnerable to “emotional overload.” The relative isolation of
nuclear family makes it easier for the “dark side” of families (incest
the
and other types of abuse).to emerge.
.

B.
The Conflict Perspective 1.
Industrialization forced families to
change. Similarly, changes taking place in today's post
industrial society also will change families. Industrialization placed husbands and wives in
such different domains of life that it changed their character. Men focused on advancement
and competition as a result of being pushed into the marketplace and separated from the
home. Women became guardians of the family and home; their ideal qualities became
generosity, sensitivity to others' needs, and self sacrifice. Thus, the
"cult” of true womanhood
had the effect of controlling women, underlining the authority of
the male as head of the family. . 3. The large number of wives entering the labor
force today is having a profound impact on family
roles. Wives are expected to juggle career and family at the same time that the traditional
expectations of male and female roles to continue to dominate many aspects of the family.
f power has occurred as a result of more married women working for pay. If the husband is
the family's sole breadwinner, he makes most of the family's major decisions; if
the wife works for wages, she has increased power. This may result in an on-going
struggle between the two, especially in terms of housework. Arlie Hochschild
wives experience: after a full workday,
described a "second shift” many
they put in time doing housework, creating deep discontent among
wives.
-.
C.
The Symbolic Interactionist Perspective 1. Symbolic interactionists focus
on meanings people give their marital relationships. New couples
merge their worlds (the feminine and the masculine) by conversation in
which they share ideas and feelings and, over time, see things from
increasingly closer perspectives. Dialogue is also an essential part of
emotional labor, the building of intimacy by sharing deeply
personal thoughts
and feelings. Women typically do most of the couple's emotional
labor. 2. Even conversation that brings husbands and wives together
leaves a huge gulf, however, because
husbands and wives hold down different corners of the
marriage, they actually perceive the marriage differently.

Classification of Family

The family can be classified as to:

A. According to Internal Organizations

1. Nuclear – if a family is composed of husband wife and children.
Common examples are
modern families in the urban areas. Though this is commonly observed in
the urban area,
sociologists put it that this is universal, even in primitive and modern
sociological setting. 2. Extended – when in addition to the nuclear unit,
grandparents, uncles and cousins are
considered members of the family. In one of the ethnic groups of India,
extended family includes the bride's brother. In this setting, the brother is
expected to provide for the needs of his sister. Note that in the Philippine
setting, the numbers of the extended family could be either or both have the
line of the bride or groom.

B. According to Descent
1. Patrilineal – family members trace their relationships and affiliations with the
paternal
(father) side. 2. Matrilineal – family members trace their relationships
and affiliations with the maternal
(mother) side. 3. Bilateral – family members trace their relationships and
affiliations with both parents.

C. According to Power/Authority
| 1. Patriarchal – the authority is vested in the oldest male member of
the family. In the absences
of the patriarch (grandfather), the father is the head of the family, in the
absence of the
father, the eldest son enjoys the privilege of being the head of the family. 2.
Matriarchal – the mother or the grandmother has the authority and
dominates the
household 3.
Egalitarian – both the husband and wife exercise
equal amount of power / authority. Both - the mother and the
father enjoy same rights and privileges.

D. According to Residence Pattern

1. Neo-local – the couple resides in a new place, independent
from either the parents of the
husband or the parents of the wife. 2. Matrilocal – the married couple resides with
or near the parents of the wife. 3. Patrilocal – the married couple resides with
or near the parents of the husband. 4. Bilocal – the married couple resides
alternately (by some special arrangement) with either of
their parents. (Some factors like proximity to work, social status,
convenience, etc. are considered for deciding where to live.)
The Role of Marriage in a Family
Marriage that is supposed to be an interlude in the creation of a
family plays a vital role for the success story of family goals and aspirations.
tions.

Marriage defined the role of each member of the family. The father, who is
expected to provide the material needs of the family, the mother who should
teach the children good things and positive values, and the children who
should be the joy of their parents, must show respect and total obedience,
especially during children's formative years.

The common reasons why an individual marries differ from person to

person; the common rationales are love and procreation. A pre or post
marriage scenario follows certain patterns in a more macro sociologic
perspective. Common patterns are:

Patterns of Mate Selection

.

Choosing who to marry can take different patterns:

| 1. Endogamy – these are set of norms specifying that

people must marry within their own group;
group that belongs to same race, tribe, and social status.

[Illustrative Examples]
A prince marries a princess A slave to a slave (same status) American-African
marries an American-African (same race)

An inclusion to this pattern is the arranged marriage, where parents of the

supposed bride and groom arranged their nuptial encounter even prior to their birth.
This is common among conservative Chinese, and Indians. This system promised a lot of
reasons but predominant are for the preservation of wealth and titles. Open marriage on the
other hand is a process by which the supposed bride and groom meet, enter into the
process of courtship, engage and on their own free will bind themselves into marriage.

2. Exogamy – a marriage between two individuals who do not belong to the

same group.

[Illustrative Example)
A noble (Prince Charles marries Camilla Parker Bowles)
-

Pattern of Age at Marriage

Accepted as fact is, one marries upon the age of majority (18 years of age).
Psychologists have the opinion that it is more likely that marriage will be a successful one
if the parties are matured. At the age of 18 and above, a person is expected to exhibit
maturity. However, (Lévi-Strauss report of 1956) it was mentioned that those CHUKCHEE
young women of Siberia at about twenty or so, marry baby husbands. The bride nurses her little
husband who is three or two years old to the belief that the parental care initiated create a lasting
emotional bond between them as husband and wife.

Pattern of Inheritance

In a contemporary society, where material wealth spells a lot of difference,

inheritance is always a subject of discussion. The passing of inheritance;
property, titles and other rights to the next generation may give rise to
family dispute or misunderstanding. Problems such as these are resolved
in what ever form is customary in society or race of descent...

Number of Spouse/s Pattern

11

If a man marries more than one spouse at a time, the term is known as polygymy; this
is true among Muslim people. On the contrary, if a woman, marries two or more husbands
MOMUNU tribal women of the amazons, the practice is
at a time like what the
called polyandry. This system, which is applied to both husband and wife, is
called polygamy.
A common marriage practice among people of the modern times is monogamy
where man or a 2 woman is allowed to marry only once at a time.

Sexual Relationship

,
. Morally speaking, sex is an integral part of married life between couple.
Sex is an important process 'or pro-creation. Logically in the absence of sex, man will
cease to exist, simply because there will be no new generation that will follow after this
present generation sleeps and rests eternally. Sexual fidelity is an obligation of both
husband and wife during the entire duration of marriage. However, traditional
Eskimos fall under this exemption according to the report (Ruesch, 1959).

Among the Eskimos, a good host offers his wife with an overnight guest. Both husband and
wife will be likely offended if the guest refused. But still overnight guest and anthropologists
who did field works among this people experience another "uncommon practice”, prior to the
consummation of the supposed hospitality. The Eskimo woman perfumed themselves with urine,
for erotic purposes; however, a good student of Sociology should note that the Eskimo couple is
behaving according to establish local norms – the wife is not a sex maniac or the husband is not
a pervert or out of his mind, in short, as far as the Eskimo society is concerned, no wrong practice
was done.

The Filipino Family

What makes Filipinos unique? According to a thesis of a sociology
exchange student, it is the close family ties among its members (Cohen,
2003). This is apparent on many celebrations being held by Filipino
families, in which the presence of each member is a common norm.

Even in time of crisis each member is expected to provide either moral or

monetary support. The saying “mas malapot ang dugo kaysa tubig” is
perfectly dramatized by the Filipino family. This saying could be best
interpreted as: an attack to any member of one's family is an attack made
to the whole clan.
During Christmas season, no matter how far a Filipino overseas contract worker may
work, still he will come home at all cause just to be with his family. This phenomenon
puzzled a lot of sociologists. Andres has these beautiful words on the role of the father, mother
and child in a Filipino family:
Definition of Religion
One of the most often quoted definitions of religion was formulated in 1912
by Emile Durkheim. He defined religion as “a unified system of beliefs and
practices relative to sacred things, uniting into a single moral community all
those who adhere to those beliefs and practices.” (The Elementary Forms of
Religion, p.47) According to Emile Durkheim, religion is the beliefs/practices
separating the profane from the sacred, uniting adherents into a moral
community. Sacred refers to aspects of life having to do with the supernatural
that inspires awe, reverence, deep respect, or deep fear, while profane refers to
the ordinary aspects of life.

Durkheim found religion to be defined by three elements:

1. beliefs that some things are sacred; 2. practices (rituals) concerning things
considered sacred; and 3. a moral community (people united by their
religious practices) resulting from the beliefs and
practices.

Theoretical Perspectives on Religion

IS
S.

A. The Functionalist Perspective

1. Religion performs certain functions: answering questions about ultimate meaning
(the purpose of
life, why people suffer); emotional comfort; social solidarity, guidelines for life; social control;
adaptation; support for the government; and social change (on occasion,
as in the case of the
civil rights movement in the 1960's). 2. A functional equivalent of religion is a
substitute serving the same functions (e.g.,
psychotherapy); some are difficult to distinguish from a religion. Although the
substitute may
perform similar functions, its activities are not directed toward God, gods, or the
supernatural. 3. War and religious persecution are dysfunctions of religion.
ano
Se
are

B. The Symbolic Interactionist Perspective

. 1. Religions use symbols to provide identity and social solidarity for
members. For members, these
are not ordinary symbols, but sacred symbols evoking awe and reverence,
which become a
condensed way of communicating with others. 2. Rituals are ceremonies or
repetitive practices helping unite people into a moral community.
Some are designed to create a feeling of closeness with God and unity with one
another. 3. Symbols, including rituals, develop from beliefs. Religious beliefs not only include
values but also L a cosmology (unified picture of the world).
4. Religious experience is a sudden awareness of the supernatural or a feeling of
coming in contact
with God. Some protestants use the term “born again” to describe people who have
undergone a
religious experience. 5. Shared meanings that come through symbols, rituals,
and beliefs unite people into a moral
community, which is powerful, not only because it provides the basis for mutual
identity, but also because it establishes norms that govern the behavior of members.
7.

C.
The Conflict Perspective
1. Karl Marx called religion the "opium of the people” because he believed that
the workers
escape into religion. Conflict theorists are highly critical of religion because it
diverts the
energies of the oppressed from changing their circumstances. 2. Religious
teachings and practices reflect a society's inequalities. Gender inequalities
are an ·
example: when males completely dominated the society, women's roles in churches and
synagogues were limited to feminine activities, a condition that is beginning to change. 3.
Religion reflects the interests of those in power by teaching that the existing
social
arrangements of a society represent what God desires.

2S

Magic and Religion

Many writers agree that all religious systems have an element of magic, and
that it is difficult to distinguish where religious beliefs end and magical beliefs
begin. (Milton Yinger, Religion, Society and the Individual, p. 42) Both relate to
the mysterious and unknown, but at least one rather clear distinction can be
made between the two. Magic is generally defined as a technique for
controlling these unknown forces in such a way as to produce a desired result.
The magician, in effect, is a manipulator of these forces, and produces effects
automatically once he learns the correct secrets. Magic, thus has an empirical
goal, even though the means of attaining the goal are supernatural.

In contrast to magic, members of religious groups tend to regard

supernatural powers as voluntary in nature. Thus, religious practices are
designed to establish friendly relations with the supernatural powers by
showing devotion, allegiance, and obedience. Since many religious
goals can not be tested, the element of trust or faith is important.

Faith and Religion

The fact that religion and magic are founded on the belief in supernatural force
logically raises the question of faith. Men, in other words, must believe in
what they can not verify by their senses. (Although a - contemporary
Philosopher of religion, John Hick, in his book Faith and Knowledge,
 claimed that faith can be verified.) The difficulty.in believing in an unseen
power is evidenced by the fact that most individuals tend to personify this
force, through the use of idols, statuettes, or pictures. Yet, most men believe in these
forces, and give tangible evidence of their faith. Faith usually involves a
combination of goals, ideals, aspirations, and emotions, all of which have a
cultural base. This is why there are so many “faiths” and why religious
groups take so many forms and include such widely variant beliefs.

Science and Religion

Throughout history, religion and science have clashed, or said in a better way,
the adherents of certain religious beliefs have clashed with those able to
marshal empirical evidence in contradiction to these beliefs. The story of how
Galileo, in the middle of the seventeenth century, had to disclaim his defense of
the Copernican theory that the earth and other planets revolved around the sun,
is an example of such controversy. Modern times have seen a shift in view to a
position that science and religion can and must be reconciled. This new view
holds that science properly deals with what is known or potentially knowable and that
religion deals with those things that can not be proved nonexistent. In other
words, religion deals with a supernatural world that lies outside the range of
scientific observation and analysis.

Further, St. Thomas Aquinas, the Angelic Doctor, in his Magnus Opus-
Summa Theologica, stated that there is no real conflict between science
and theology because they deal with different objects. And each science
has its own object of investigation and even grating those two sciences have
the same object to investigate, these two sciences study the same object
from two different perspectives, and hence, there is no real clash between
sciences. Granting further, however, that science and religion are in
conflict, St. Thomas aptly puts it, it is the conclusion of theology that
prevails because it is governed and grounded on faith or supernatural.
Functions of Religious Systems
1. Facilitate the quest for moral identity.
Man is eternally seeking to find himself. In his quest for a “moral
identity,” he inevitably goes outside himself for some principle of the
universe which will explain his strivings and help him rationalize his
frustrations and sufferings. Religious systems, by providing explanations that
derive from divine (not necessarily supernatural) powers, put a consistent
meaning into life and prevent man from being psychologically alone in the
universe. His successes, his inner desires, his failures and his sufferings can all
be met with greater equanimity. In this sense, religion provides all types of
integration for the individual's personality. A man's worth as a person is
continuously reaffirmed through participation in religious communities.
.
.
2.
Provide interpretation for man's environment.
Despite the advances of science, indeed, perhaps because of the incredibility of
much scientific achievement, there is a strong element of incomprehensibility in
the world. The unknown troubles man and religious beliefs restore
comprehensibility, making his life more familiar and meaningful. In this
regard, religion serves to relieve much of the fear and anxiety which stems
from the precariousness of life. Religious explanations for the vicissitudes
of nature like floods, droughts, volcanic eruptions, among others, are more
readily acceptable, as a rule, than social or more human disasters like wars. However,
religion functions to provide explanations at both these levels of the unknown.
ars.

3.
Promote social cohesion and solidarity.
The core values in almost every society find their validation in religious
teachings and beliefs. It is no accident that “mores” are by and large
expressions of religious precepts. Since these values are so important in
social life, they provide the basis for social control and for social cohesion. In this
regard, religious groups function to train individuals to accept these values on faith
and to behave according to norms they imply without question. This may
be illustrated by citing such norms as these: married couple should remain faithful
to their spouses; men should not kill other men, students should not lie and
cheat; and women should observe decent standards of dress, all of these
have religious implication.

• Types of Religious Organizations

1. Cult – is a new religion with few followers; all religions began as

cult. Cults often begin with the
appearance of a charismatic leader, exerting extra-ordinary appeal to a
group of followers. Each cult's message is seen as a threat to the dominant culture. The
cult demands intense commitment, and its followers confront a hostile world.

2.
Sect -- is larger than a cult, but still feels substantial hostility from and toward society.
At the very least, members of the sects remain uncomfortable with many of
the emphases of the dominant culture; non-members feel uncomfortable with sect
members. Sects usually are loosely organized, emphasize personal salvations and emotional
expression of one's relationship with God, and recruitment of new members (evangelism). If
a sect grows, its members tend to become respectable in society, and the sect is
changed into a church. ;)
DecoDi

3.
Church - is a large, highly organized religious group with little emphasis on
personal conversion and formal, sedate services. The religious group is highly
bureaucratized (including national and international offices that give directions to local
congregations). Most new members come from within the church, from children
born to existing members, rather than outside recruitment.
J
cugiuNS UI W
WUIIU. Illen Deutis
GURE 13-1 A COMPARATIVE TABLE OF THE MAJOR
RELIGIONS OF THE WORLD
(Source: Harry M. Johnson, Sociology: A Systematic Introduction)

RELIGION
COSMIC BELIEFS

Karma and Samsara (transmigration)

HINDUISM The chief religion of India (includes cults and sects of Vishnu and
Shiva, as well as orthodox Brahmanism)
Gods are essentially different symbols of impersonal pantheism. Endless wheel of
incarnations, even for Gods.
BELIEFS ABOUT
SALVATION Fulfilling one's "dharma” will lead to a better incarnation, perhaps
as a God. The especially devout may hope to merge with the “ALL ONE,” thus,
losing personal identity forever. Asceticism and mysticism are common in
Hinduism.

BUDDHISM
Reincarnation. Evil is the result of unrealistic desires. The world is guided by
Buddhas (the enlightened ones).
Escape from the eternal wheel of Karma and Samsara by following the "noble
eightfold path."
About 600 BC, Siddharta Gautama founded Buddhism which emphasizes self
denial and compassion.

CONFUCIANISM The official religion of pre communist China. Largely, it comprises of

social ethics.
Shadowy Gods; virtual pantheism. Happiness through following Tao is the harmony that
pervadesethics of Confucius. Gods need all things unless it is disturbed by sacrifices in
order to keep the wrong conduct. The cosmos is world in harmony. essentially
unchanging. One supramundane God of power, Salvation of mankind at the end justice,
and mercy. The world of the world, after the coming of does not pass through
cycles but the messiah. Stress on ethics is passing through a history that and on ritual
acts, pervading life. will eventually come to an end.

One perfect God in trinity, and trinity in unity: the father, the son, and the holy spirit
Salvation achieved by the spirit and sacrifice of Christ, especially with the help of the seven
sacrament of the church.
JUDAISM The first religion based on monotheism. Its origin can be traced to Abraham,
who lived about 4,000 years ago in Mesopotamia.
CATHOLICISM (Largest Christian church. Proclaims itself to be the only true church as an
organized body) PROTESTANTISM (Great variation in belief, therefore, present
characterization mentions tendencies). ISLAM The followers are known as Muslims
(Mohammedanism. Partly grew out of Judaism and Christianity, partly had a common
source with them)
Most churches accept trinity, some
are Unitarian.
More emphasis on the love of God and on the saving power of faith, less emphasis
on sacraments.

One supramundane God, called Allah. Mohammed is his prophet. A day of judgment is
to come.
By following Mohammed and taking a pilgrimage to Mecca if possible, men attain paradise
after death. Hell for the wicked.
-

: Human Religion
• Religion made by man for the purpose of reconciliation
with
God can be characterized as: a. Taking the appearance of
"holiness". b. Attribute its existence in the realm of a
personal God, spir
itual forces, impersonal order, incredible power, etc. C.
Religious belief become a precursor of a society's belief
system, human doctrines, traditions, moral concepts, ritual
of diverse forms and cultic activities. d. A faith towards
object, person or system. "Revelation" is
claimed as its cause or origin, like visions, dreams or
events.
• Rituals and liturgy are believed to be necessary in any
reli
gious system. Members are generally bound to one
another by faith and or
ganized into a cohesive, social group. Religious Cults
The word cult is interpreted differently by people or group.
Lexicon Universal Encyclopedia refers to cult as having a
char acter of "faddish devotion" to a person., or
characterized by
practices significantly different form the cultural
mainstream.
• Mr. Webster defines it has a system of religious worship
or
devoted attachment to a person, or principles, etc."
• The true Christian looks upon religious cult as a system
of
religious beliefs which acknowledge devotional attachment
to other persons, principles, power, system, etc. aside
from the
Lord Jesus Christ.
Basic Feature of Cults ..Embraces mysticism as a
fundamental element
Embodiment of bizarre doctrines and practices anchored
on mysticism. - Assumption of an infallible human
leadership which almost
always usurps the authority of the true Living God.
• Heavy burde:is and bondage are inflicted upon members.