Chapter 14.

Release the Handbrake in Your Mind.

Get rid of the stop-go, stop-go battle in your mind. You

need to conquer your mind first. I say again… YOU NEED
TO CONQUER YOUR MIND FIRST. You must win the
battle in your mind. The battle of being able to generate
positive or negative thoughts. And yes, it is a battle
because feeling bad and speaking negatively comes so
naturally. That is why we have to actively guard against
it. Guard your emotions and feelings. Remember that in
order for any kind of bad feeling, be it…anger or
frustration to come out…we must first think about it. We
must let it formulate it in our mind and then it passes
out through our mouths.

That is why we have to consciously remind ourselves to

think the right way. Thoughts are powerful. And
thoughts come from the mind. So the result of winning
the battle is positive thinking. Therefore, you will have
positive thoughts the majority of the time. When you
focus on the positive thoughts, e.g. wealth, health, joy
etc. it will be attracted to you and it will manifest. It
must.

A MAN IS BUT A PRODUCT OF HIS OWN THOUGHTS

WHAT HE THINKS HE BECOMES.
…Mahatma Gandhi

What you think about yourself is the way others

perceive you. So you actually get a double dose of the
negative pill when you think you are not good enough
because firstly, you think you not enough, just not
enough of anything…then your lack of confidence
translates over to others so they end up thinking that
way too. With the result being that you confronted with
inner turmoil by your self-imposed limitations and the
lack of trust in your ability others exhibit towards you.
All brought about by your negative thought patterns
about your own abilities. So, creating a more
disillusioned you about yourself and your potential.

Nobody knows this better than I do. Well, maybe

someone does. As mentioned earlier I never grew up
with my Dad. He left when I was around ten years old;
he came to fetch me every other weekend…in the
beginning. I don’t have much recollection about us doing
things together, having heart to heart talks and me just
having the freedom to go to him to discuss whatever
issues I had. I’m not saying we never done things
together…I’m sure we did. I suppose it just never made
such a profound impact in my life that I can recall it
without some serious hypnosis. Unfortunately for my
Dad, and ultimately me, he never grew up with his
parents. He lived with relatives who treated him poorly.
As a consequence he could not show a variety of
emotions and patience. My Dad was Old School, I equate
it to the stiff upper lip British type.

HAVING EXPERIENCED NEGLECT, PARENTS SHOULD

AVOID DOING THE SAME TO THEIR CHILDREN AT ALL
COSTS.
…Ronald Goliath

Possessing the unbridled confidence to approach my

Dad to ask for something I wanted was something I
lacked. I found myself shaking at the prospect of asking
him for anything. I was a little boy who was scared to
speak to his father. Later on I figured out I was not afraid
of asking my Dad for anything, rather my fear was of him
dismissing me when I stuttered while talking to him.
Dismissing me when I took too long to get the words out
of my mouth. The method of dismissal could be as
simple as the smacking his lips together. I could sense
the frustration in him when I was trying to ask for
something.
 The look in his eyes never conveyed unabashed love. It
felt like shame. Was my father ashamed of me…of my
speech impediment? Was I not the complete son he
wanted me to be? The patience that I somehow knew
was supposed to be there …was not. A couple of times
he would walk away while I was still talking.
The image of my Dad’s silhouette backlit by the sun,
walking out the back door while I stood in the darker
kitchen with my little hands balled into fists at my sides,
still trying to talk stayed with me for a long time. My tear
rimmed hazel-eyes gazing after my father as he walked
away.

How much confidence do you think I now possessed as a

ten year old boy. If my Dad, the one who is supposed to
install confidence in me, never had the patience to listen
and walked out on me while I was talking…what made
me think other people would have the patience to listen
to me. One of the few recollections I have of myself and
my Dad is of this one day when my Dad was playing his
records at home. We were chatting about this and that
and then he said to me I sounded like a radio that is put
on and off in quick repetitions. He said he couldn’t hear
everything I said so he had to piece together little bits of
what he heard to make sense of what I was saying. I was
ten years old for goodness sake. Know I knew that my
Dad loved me and malice was not his intention I’m
sure…however that statement stayed with me for many
years. Turning me even more of a recluse when it came
to him.

Because of that I never really spoke out in certain

situations. And I’m filled with regret for not answering
so many questions in school that only I knew the
answers to. I remember when I was in standard two, (i.e.
grade four), my teacher asked if an airplane takes off in
the direction of the wind or against the wind. In unison
everybody said it takes off with the wind because the
wind would help it lift off. However I knew better, I knew
the right answer but I was too afraid to lift up my paw to
answer. I can still picture my teacher’s face, her eyes
sparkling and her face flushed because she was on the
verge of educating. On the verge of imparting
knowledge to this group of children, something which
they did not know. Something that they will remember
forever and she would have had a part in it. A part in
shaping the lives. She clearly was not impressed by my
lack of enthusiasm at her BIG REVEAL.
I accepted being thought of as stupid or not-too-bright
in class through the years because I never lifted up my
hand to answer most questions my teachers posed. I
regret not raising my hand at times and saying I have a
solution to a problem that was raised. I regret going
along with other peoples silly ideas because I did not
want to enter into debate to prove why my idea is
better.

I never thought I would get over that. For me getting up

and speaking to an audience or a group of people was
definitely a no-no. I avoided it every opportunity it
presented itself. I had to overcome that fear of speaking
out and that battle took place in my mind. Whenever I
had to speak to an audience or group of people I
remember my Dad walking out on me and I was cold
with fear and it paralyzed me.

It took time but I learned to manage it. In my business I

need to approach people or businesses to get clients…
and when that voice comes up saying, “You going to
make yourself a fool…don’t go there”, that’s when I hold
my head up high and step purposely into that situation. I
challenge and overcome my fear. Everytime. I refuse to
live my life based on a memory. I will not let my past
dictate my future. I will not be held hostage by
emotions. And you know what …I have never made
myself a fool. I wish I could say the thought of public
speaking doesn’t kick the ol’ ticker up a notch because it
still does. However to quote Nicholas Cage as Johnny
Blaze in Ghost Rider… “YOU CANT LIVE IN FEAR.”

YOUR MIND IS THE GATEWAY

THROUGH IT COMES SUCCESS OR FAILURE
….Ronald Goliath