CRK

ceritakudulu.blogspot.com

Presented

Life
Since I was born
Collection of poems from Ceritakudulu’s blog

April 2011

Written By

Nik Ahmad Fariq B Nik Ibrahim

 For my mom and my father,

my greatest treasure

For my friends,

my finest teachers,

my companion of joy and pain

and

For you,

a friend that I wish to know

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THIS COPY IS NOT FOR SALE

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Content

Title Page
1. The Sky 5
2. The Road 6
3. Love Story 7
4. The Light 8
5. Just Relax 9
6. Through the smiling eyes! 10
7. Moment to Remember; Happy Mother’s Day 11
8. Why am I angry? 12
9. Human: The Best Creation 13
10. Part II Love Story: The Shining Star 14
11. Part III Love Story: The Sunny in Cloudy 15
12. Final Part Love Story: A Silent Morning 16
13. The Lost Give 17
14. Scratching Dignity 18
15. A Regret 19
16. When I’m Getting Older 20
17. Please Come Home 21
18. The Destiny 22
19. Friend Forever 23
20. We are our own 24
21. Secret no more 25
22. I know the tears 26
23. The Past 27
24. Judge me with reality 28
25. Never keep crying 29
26. Untitled 30
27. The Stronger Loser 31
28. It’s My story 32
29. The Candle 33
30. Imperfect sign 34
31. Imperfect sign part 2 35
32. Worthy in Serenity 36
33. Karma 37
34. You and Us 38
35. The scene of love 39
36. I believed in angle 40
37. If you know 41

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The Sky

Under the sky I was born,

I grew up to be a boy,

Then a man with strong bones,

Two decades have passed by,

Since the first day I saw the sky,

And today, here I stand,

Strongly with my own on this land,

Looking up, as far as I can,

It’s still there, the blue sky,

Still watching me, and smile,

That what was in my mind.

But I wonder what is behind those skies,

Because it’s always there no matter what the times,

Make me calm, watch me cry and even make me smile,

That’s why I wonder, “Who is behind that sky?”

29 January 2010.

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The Road

It’s now already two decades,

Since the first time I learn how to walk,

Roughly, slowly but smoothly,

That how I remembered my mom thought me.

Day by day, followed by months and years,

I just keep walking, followed the path,

Which have been pass from my mom,

Descend long ago from her descendents,

Now me; as sources for the next generations.

As time passed by,

I heard people keep talking about this path of mine,

“This road was guided by the Owner of the right,

Flowers, birdsongs, calm wind and beautiful white light,

It was parts of the road that can be described”.

30 January 2010

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Love Story

It’s true?
They keep talking and chatting,
Discussing many things,
Love is so wonderful, that what they are saying,
The heart beat and the nervous feeling,
Can be evidences to prove it,
The eyes can show how beautiful world could be,
And the ears, only pleasant words can pass through,
Every words is too perfect,
Neither the lies nor the truth, it’s all reality,
That how powerful mouth could be,
But, I keep wonder how and why those happen,
Because it’s not wrong when jealousy I expressed,
If what they said is only the truth.

March 8, 2010

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The Light

Day after day, confuse have become part of me,

The way I see the world, make nothing real to me,

Despair, betrayal and lied were things that decorated my world,

World of frustrated and loneliness

Yet I know, I’m now in the wrong ways,

Far from the path of truth,

Deep in the huge dark hole,

Too deep until not a single light can reach me,

And now I realize I’m on my own.

I tried really hard to push myself together,

Stop! Stop! I don’t want to walk anymore!

But it’s nothing I can do, really!

The legs just don’t want to stop yet and it’s keep moving,

Drive me straight to darkness of insanity,

That time only one thing crossing my mind,

Not gold, not luxury and not even companions,

But I just want you to give me your hand,

And pull me, so then I can know what the feel to be out there!

March 6, 2010

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Just Relax

What a nice days I have today,

Everything just too perfect,

The sun shines bright,

The comfortable warmly golden light,

The sounds of bird’s song, so melodious,

The flowers so beautiful with its variety of colors,

The smell of earth really freshen my mind,

Slowly I closed my eyes,

Relaxing; and tried to fell that feeling,

The feeling of calm and wisdom, instead of boredom,

That could make me smile even lots of problem around,

Because I do believe I’m now in heaven!

Monday, April 26, 2010

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Through the smiling eyes!

Lovely and shiny,

That the days occur around me,

Once, when I was a teen,

Yet as a person that so happy-go-lucky,

Weekend was always in my list of waiting,

Because its possess the most important things,

The excitement, the joy and the amused memories,

Everything just too lively,

The citizens and the environment around me,

It’s all really pleasant, even now it just a memories,

And I’m so glad that I do have that, once in me.

Friday, May 07, 2010

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Moment to remember; Happy Mother’s Day!

We have gone through many things recently,

Things that keep changing and pressure our life,

Until then we remain strong to confront its,

Either as a beautiful fantasy or a horrible nightmare,

Because we know that in between it does lies a story,

Which’s need to be passed on until next generations,

The story of obstacles that lead to many pains,

But sometimes directing us to the most important lessons,

And to bring us back to the very beginning as a human,

The day that we received the first kiss,

After a long 9 months journey in a womb of a women,

The day we do have an opportunities to live,

Because of a life-death moments she confronts bravely,

Yet she ask for nothing as reply except then smile happily,

The sacrifice she makes is worth than everything,

So then we proudly announced that,

“We love you mom more than anything,

And you’re always being my beloved, forever and ever!”

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

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Why am I angry?

I don’t know why I’m so angry,

Because of something that so crazy,

Because of sentences with no meaning,

Because of the fight that not necessary,

Because I know there are solutions in different perspective,

Yet it’s still coming even I know I shouldn’t be angry,

Even I know forgiveness is all I need,

Even I know he/she doesn’t mean it,

Even I know he/she just in curiosity,

Even I know, in the first place patient is everything!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

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Human; The Best Creation

Do we ever realize?

There are miracles in our life,

Starting since we are a child,

Until now we can fly under the sky.

We travel far in no time,

Even the place worth then 100 thousand miles,

We just sat, wondering around,

Without notice, we already are there.

It isn’t end to list all the miracles,

And it’s not my intention at all,

I just want you to think some problems,

And sure you can take your time in solving that matters.

First, what did you understand by the word ‘miracle’?

Second, how’s this miracles possibly happen?

Third, is there any possibility that ‘we do create those miracles’?

Fourth, what do you think we continued in part 2: ‘Human; The best Creation’?

Monday, May 17, 2010

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Part II Love Story: The Shining Star

We have been in great time recently,

Smiling, laughing, giggling and even joking,

One by one we create the memory,

And the world is only between you and me.

As far as we concern, time is infinity,

Even for others it was define differently,

We do talk about so many things,

Until I’m not really sure what it’s all about actually,

But I don’t care as long as it was your feeling,

Even it was nonsense, funny, and nothing,

I do hope these will never ending,

Because for me, you are everything!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010.

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Part III Love Story: The Sunny in Cloudy

It’s so sad if this is the end,

After a long times of beautiful moments,

It just because of a problem,

That we need to separate for this long,

It’s hurting me more in every second,

For what belong to me have been gone,

The joy, the smile and the consciousness of my own,

It’s fading and I’m no longer strong,

I might be cried when I’m all alone,

For just remembering what we done all along,

I couldn’t bear to see our distance increasing more,

When our memories getting closer and stronger,

But still I don’t know how to fix this problem,

And I will wait for you much longer,

If one day we were destined to be together!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

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Final Part Love Story: A Silent Morning

I don’t know where the beginning is,

To tell you about a fantasy love story,

That I wrote to comfort my heart,

After that sadden day of broken up,

And this is the most difficult part,

That I should live without you by my side,

Which will leave my heart hurt,

For many years or even decades,

But no matter how hard I cried,

You will never come back to cheer me up.

People around keep telling me to just let it go,

For many others are depending on you more than you know,

Just leave it, because life should be carry on,

For the bright future, for your friends, siblings, and parents!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

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The Lost Gift

Youth is such a beautiful age,

Lot of adventures and risks to take,
In each steps to move ahead,
Life is just a wonderful voyage.

But I wonder what happen in next stage,

When there are wrinkles covering face,
When the spine no longer straight,
When the energy left is just a fake,

I saw them crying in this age,

And I asked why they show this face,
After all luxury they poses,
And friends surrounded in proud.

“How can I possibly smile and laugh?

When my life is lack of love,
From the one that really precious,
My child is the only glorious”.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

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Scratching Dignity

I’m dying,

And I’m crying,

My life fading,

And my heart hurting,

I lost everything,

Even my own feeling,

Because losing to my own enemy,

That always lives within me,

To keep incite with smiley.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

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A Regret

I once fell for 'it',

And so lucky that i also can have 'it',

But I don't really know how to handle 'it',

So I let everything move according to fate (I thought),

Many things happen since I’m with 'it',

I’m laughing and crying, all because of 'it',

Unfortunately, time is too short to be with 'it',

Because of my fault, I lose 'it',

Not because I hate 'it',

But because I don't really appreciate 'it',

That why now really miss 'it',

*MY MONEY! Who steal IT?!!

P/s: original version for the last row is “My heart and love to my dear beloved".

September 06, 2009.

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When I’m Getting Older

When I’m getting older,

I want to be a man of noble,

Always surrounded by people,

That respect me like a teacher,

When I’m getting older,

I want to live proudly in this world,

Telling stories to the younger,

Even it’s hilarious but it’ll be as guidance.

When I’m getting older,

I want to be a man of lovable,

Have no shamed to say thanks to others,

Because like a baby; I’ll depend to them more.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

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Please Come Home!

A story of an old man,

Lie down weakly on his bed,

With his wife on his right side,

Sitting patiently, hearing his talked,

About life, family and love,

That decorates his life,

For each moments of beautiful feeling,

For each moments of tears falling,

For love that keep growing,

In seven’s members of his family.

He know time is almost end,

But he struggle hard to keep each strengths,

Waiting for his child’s homecoming,

That is his most precious belonging.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Happy Father’s Day

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The Destiny!

I wonder how truly life could be,

Because the answers will be variety,

It was a secret of human being,

That lies within philosophies,

But there’re so many theories,

Trying to crack everything,

Sometimes leaving a rigid thinking,

On what one’s life should be,

Even one’s hold a key of thousand possibilities,

Which will open thousands doors of the philosophies.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

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Friend Forever

Friendship is full of surprises,

Sometimes it can make us smile,

Feel happy all the times,

Make us comfort, make us laugh,

Sharing all burdens together,

Helping each other without hesitation.

But for sure you know,

Life isn’t only for wonderful feeling,

Life is like a beauty and ugly,

Life is a Master of maturity.

So, smile when you counter problem,

Be patient, when friends now not around,

Because maybe they’re in difficulties,

Or maybe they just confuse,

Just believe in yourself,

Appreciated each moments of being together,

Give them times to understand,

For how much you’re in LOVE with them.

Friday, July 02, 2010

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We are our own

A destiny is so hard to understand,

It can’t be predicted, nor is known,

It’s a secret that belong to no one,

Except to Him; the Almighty One.

I saw one’s always being success,

Neither in academic nor activities,

He’s a perfect human, that what people said,

But he ends his life in jail, for drug addicted.

In different region, there’s a man,

Nothing he knows except failure all time,

People said he’s too dumb to be knowledgeable,

But no give up, he becomes a well-known businessman.

Life is strange for us as human,

Knows no body, weak or strong,

For we were born in abilities as different,

Identify it, so it’ll become an ultimate strength.

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

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Secret no more

I want to tell about something,

But I'm not sure the start and the end,

And it's sure leave me crying,

If in my mind, its' grin and dance.

If I share this story of mine,

I'm worried on how you'll react,

For some people it's just a waste of time,

To listen and express some act.

A wrong decision I make once,

The story spill into an ears of open mouth,

The pain gone, the grudge come,

Now I'm an artist; smell like a mouse.

Open the mind, touch the heart,

All I can do is smile upon my foolish,

Now I know trustworthy is too hard,

No safety when a secrete was released.

Monday, July 12, 2010

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I know the tears

Nothing much to say,

Only few things necessary,

I'm not an expert or a psychologist,

but I'm a human,

I know the pain,

I learn how to live,

Even it's not so wonderful,

Even it's not so brighten as you,

But still I strongly survive,

Even it’s mean alone,

And if I keep living in silent,

I want you to know,

I will choose the joy,

Even its risk me thousand of obstacles,

For a slightest change of smile,

I will work hard to have it,

Because for me,

A minute of smile is worth for years of tears.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

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The Past

Did we learn from the past?

About how it's been organized,

The values that been passed,

For each though that we fought,

For the hands that we hold tight,

The spoken words of a wise man,

The lovely hug from a dear woman,

Every kisses for the heart,

Each single punch we fought,

Does its mean anything, folks?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

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Judge me with reality!

What did you see within me?

Or you just simply look at my beauty?

Judge me on what you being biasing?

Or you’re actually blind in reality?

Come on, wake up already!

It’s enough with those fantasies!

You’ll never grow with only pities!

Give me answer and action on everything!

I’m not asking you to be angry,

But to realize how important a philosophies,

Going berserk is not a smart acting,

Nor get into fight, that the same thing.

Stand firm like a big tree,

Strong, hard, and didn’t fall easily,

Have trust, like a tree-trunk and the roots doing,

Grow high to the sky, yearly.

Saturday, July 30, 2010

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Never keep Crying

I really want to know something,

‘Bout regret appeared in humanity,

Which defined in two different meaning,

Depending on Love and ’Forgive me’.

We were born together with softie,

Even refused, its part of personality,

We often cry for something that missing,

That could be a proved for what I’m talking.

Regret is not a shameful story,

But it’s a teacher of an appreciative,

Each tear will not be misery,

But as a big smile, in future you live.

Became disillusioned for things you’ve done,

Shouldn’t be a barrier to keep moving,

Stand up when you fall down,

For a bright future that keep waiting.

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

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Untitled

Am I lost?

I really feel useless,

Unable to control myself,

I've been cold-hearted; emotionless,

Talk no more, smile getting less,

How should I tolerate with this life?

Should I ‘google’ for a secret pass?

Or take a bed story classes?

Talking to an Alien from Mars?

Or make a plan to move to graveyard?

p/s: Perhaps not the last choice, right? ^_^

Saturday, August 07, 2010

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The Stronger Loser

Even I'm a loser,

I'm happy living in my own world,

Everything smoothly crawl,

Shed tears, work hard every hours,

But I never feel tired,

Nor think of being frustrated,

Because I know my own desired,

Because I know the path I walked,

Because I enjoyed the exhausted,

Because it what I wanted.

Gain knowledge as a loser,

So it’s never end forever.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

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It’s My Story

I found something in there,

A family picture; with nine figures,

No sounds and no words,

But still it speaks loud.

I saw pasts, presents and futures,

Pouring and mixing in those figures,

A short moment of ten seconds,

Mean a lot in my whole life time.

We often fought in the past,

But it was not long till the temper passes,

Then we hold hand again, played and ran,

And now it had became a beautiful moments.

Today, we do have so much fun,

Even we sometimes let the anger surpass,

But I’ll always love you guys,

And I prayed we keep unite till time passes.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

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The Candle

I’m willing to be the supporter,

That will shine like a candle,

Although I will hurt to see you cheers,

But it’s worth then seeing you suffer.

I want to be strong like a candle,

Stand still till the final seconds,

Accompany you with patient,

Just to see your smile the next moment.

I don’t want to be like a candle’s life,

Watch your back most till last,

Faded when you are farthest,

Give nothing when you left.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

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Imperfect Sign

Yes it’s a lie,

That I create in my life,

Till now I don’t know why,

I’m regretting those time.

Tears that I tried to hide,

Leave me pain with fake smile,

I know it’s harden my heart,

I lost upon times.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

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Imperfect Sign Part 2

It’s so hard to explain,

How I feel at this moment,

It’s mixed of feelings,

That the unique of human being.

Angry, sorrow and empty,

All I can describe sound like a dream,

With fuzzy starting and ending,

I know it’ll sound confusing.

One thing I can guarantee,

I’m tired to keep singing,

A song of beautiful melodies,

Lyrics to pleasant others listening.

I cry in each song I sing,

But I’m relief everyone like it,

Your happiness is my comforting,

Event for a while but I enjoyed it.

Monday, October 25, 2010

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Worthy in Serenity

Often ill-feeling accompany,

Drag the spirit down lowly,

No words pop up happily,

It happens wistfully,

It’s because of guilty?

Dissatisfied with belonging,

No answers in questioning,

The heart doesn’t rest peacefully.

Sunday, December 05, 2010

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Karma

Life of repetitions,

It’ll merge through generation,

Nothing excuses from the count,

Not even position or possession.

Ability to control conditions,

Will be great as assistance,

Stay conscious above the changes,

Observing the weakness as human.

It isn’t easy to understand,

Why it can’t be stop from happen,

Because it’s not part of plan,

Much as redeem of each mistaken.

Dear God which never slept,

Forgive me and my family,

May this end only by me,

In hope my child never suffers like me.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

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You and Us

Standing in crowded,

Feel dizzy all of sudden,

Stand still alone,

Realizing something lost,

You, you and us,

The unbreakable bond,

We experience together,

All good and bad omens,

We're fighting, holding hand,

When you fall, I stay at front,

When I'm hurt, you'll be the nurse,

Never separate because it's us,

The world of mine and yours.

Friday, January 14, 2011

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The Scene of Love

About you, love and me,

The best thing ever happen,

With no sounds of ending,

It’s me, you and our feeling,

It’s real, my heart, yours and our love,

The blossom of flowers,

The coming and goes of seasons,

It wills not growing old,

The love of me and yours,

The only things in life,

LOVE.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Inspired from: Sepi, directed by Kabir Bhatia

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I Believe in Angel

People said they have wings,

Always with us, no time limit,

They smile upon our kindness,

And wrote it for our future,

There’re lots of them,

Praying for us all the time,

But only if we’re a good son,

And only if we follow the guidance,

They are always with us,

They’re also servant of our Master,

And I believe bout them, Angel.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

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If You Know

If I have a chance,

I want to fly high,

Cross the sea,

Above the mountains,

Pass through continents,

*****

But, if I don’t,

I want to be alone,

Remembering our moments,

When you’re once, make me strong,

When myself not a burden.

Monday, February 28, 2011

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 A Note on the Author

Nik Ahmad Fariq B Nik Ibrahim was born in Kota Bharu, Kelantan on 07 November 1989.

In 2009 he start involve in writing poem by participant in poem’s community in StoriesVille.com.

In this year also, he start his first blog by name it as Ceritakudulu.

He is also known as fzikuz.

Contact: fzikuz@gmail.com

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