Luka Popovic Presents:

The Creek
Part 1
The creek is a mystical place. Once you enter the tree line you are in an entirely
different world. From the outside, civilized view you can see a wall of trees and nothing
past that. From the inside, natural view you can see the creek and all its surroundings
even past the trees. I would walk this creek, along the bank along with my crew
members. Joey, a barbarian of sorts, not very smart but will risk it all for the success of
the group. Charlie, a wise, bright, intelligent lieutenant with a record of knowledgeable
victories. Alek, a craftsman, able to think outside the box and never forgets anything
that he has witnessed his entire life. And Sam, a jokester but a true teammate and
friend. He keeps the mood light as well as being unbelievably strong. Me, I think I’m no
specialist at any one thing, but a carrier of all these traits, capable of doing anything
necessary for the team, a utility player.
We trek the lining of the dirt along the creek. Broken trees create walkways across
the creek. Our main goal? Make it to the park. There is a certain departure point that is
crucial we don’t miss. Otherwise we get trapped under a bridge with a road on top and at
that point, there is no coming back. The east end of the creek is where my house is, it
takes a slight curve north and goes through the park area. It is our time to shine, we
must transport a basketball through these parts as well.
We huddle near the tennis courts are west of my house. We strategize, Alek will
handle the ball first, joey will clear a path, Charlie will calculate risks, Sam will clear
trees and move stones, and I will be the first to run the route. Garbage and plastic flow
downstream on the river. We travel with the current. In order for a safe route, we must
cross the stream as soon as we enter the creek and every so often during our journey.
Funny enough, there is a bridge at the beginning as well, granted it is a much smaller
wooden bridge, but it isn’t a point of no return either. However, we are too tactical for
that route. Instead, we grab the bridge from the bottom and swing our way across. Alek
is the last to go, he tosses the ball to Sam before advancing. Joey is well ahead of the
group. He’s found a spot where the land under the creek is above the water level. It’s a
little muddy but our only shot across again for a while. Joey is already across, Me and
Charlie follow. Sam attempts to leap with the ball, nobody worried in the slightest
because it was a simple jump. As soon as he lifts off his back foot, the edge of the
“island” is crept up on by the water. The creeks motion begins to speed up and the water
level rises. He sees he’s in trouble and tosses me the ball and takes one for the team. His
feet are wet, and his hands are full of mud. But other than that, he was alright. Sam and
Alek make their way across. The creek calms down again. We are going to have to cross
again as we near the bend. Joey has spotted a trunk that has stretched eighty-eight
percent of the way across the creek. Charles is worried that we won’t be able to make it,
but Alek points out its our only way. Sam follows Joey across to work on moving a stone
to complete the path across the creek. Alex holds the trunk steady for the group. He is
the last to cross. Instead of crawling like the rest of us, he gets a running start. He
tiptoes fast across the bridge in trunk and cushioned his fall on the bank. He skipped the
stone entirely.
I have since given the ball to Joey as he was waiting and I crossed. I am now
leaving the group. Joey is thirsty and puts down the ball and drinks from the creek. It
rises and he falls unconscious. The ball is picked up by the current and so is Joey.
Charles reaches for his foot but misses. They are traveling fast Upstream now. Me, Alek,
Charles, and Sam book it to the street bridge. We pass the park but we can always
return. So long as we don’t pass the bridge. We form a monkey in a barrel concept. Same
is holding alek and I, Alek dangles me above the water. I splash joey with water. He
awakes, Charlie is calling for the ball. He throws a laser to Charles. Meanwhile, I catch
him before he gets dragged under. We all make it back to the safety of the bank. Charles
is visibly upset. We don’t see the ball in his hands. We are all sad now. Regardless of the
courts, we knew there was still a playground too. Se we settled for that. We head up the
bank, through the tree line into the park when we see a ball., our ball sitting at the tap of
the grass. It made it to the park. We are super excited now. We go mess up some ankles
in a five on five. But eventually we must head back home by route of the creek…

Look back at your diagnostic story. Then look at this mid-term story. How have you
improved? Support your answers with evidence from your work. (Or, to put it another
way, point to the differences.)
In my diagnostic story, my main focus was trying to involve an overall lesson like you
learn in kindergarten about the moral of the story. So it was childish in the beginning to
say the least. But now in this story, I have turned an almost true story into a story that
brings some fantasy to life. Giving things a mind of its own that don’t normally have
that. (I understand it’s not that interesting…)

Tell me about your writing process. How did you go about drafting and revising this
story? How many drafts did you do?
Essentially, I wrote this story once in my notebook with some lacking structure and
production. So when I rewrote this story I felt like I included whatever it was missing.
All I started with was a true story and added some conflict and fantasy to make it an
interesting story.

What's the best part? What are you proudest of?

I really love how each character in the story has their own characteristics. It was cool to
use said characteristics in the story and have them make sense as well. For example, the
strongest member was moving rocks to help the other crewmates move.
What would you do with this story if you had more time with it? What would you target
for improvement, and how would you go about making that improvement?
I thought about this already and wrote some notes in my notebook. Basically, it would
involve the crew travelling back the way they came. against the current of the creek,
when something would go wrong the parents would be on the outside of the tree line
yelling in, and the kids yelling outwards. (The tree line prevents sound from leaving but
allows sound to enter).

What questions do you have for me? How can I support you?
Is dialogue necessary in this case? I was trying to create a story that you could just watch
like a tom and jerry episode. I wasnt a fan of writing “blah blah blah” he said and she
said all the time.