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I Will Disappear Grand Duke
I Will Disappear Grand Duke
***
The Duchess has escaped. It happened while the Grand Duke was on an expedition.
“Your Highness, the servants say that the only thing that disappeared from her residence
was her clothes.”
At the aide’s words, The large man’s brow wrinkled, one side of his mouth lifted.
His wife ran away, leaving everything he had given her. He knew intuitively what this
meant.
She was trying to erase the time she lived here as his wife. She dared to hope that he would
forget her forever.
“We received a message that they are continuing to track Her Highness’ carriage. It looks
like they will be able to successfully siege it soon.”
“If she resists, tell them to bring her in, even if it’s by force.”
The Grand Duke’s stern gaze reached the wedding ring on his ring finger.
His wife had been on the run for five days, completely outrunning the castle servants, but
the Grand Duke had managed to locate her within half a day of his return to the castle.
She would soon be back in her original position. There was no reason to be nervous.
But the impatience coming up from his chest kept bothering him.
She should never have run away like this. Now that she was his wife, she had to feel the
pain beside him even if she was sick. Even if it was painful, she had to suffer in his eyes.
Julia Caesar, if ever died, had to die in his territory.
He closed his bloodshot eyes loosely. The Grand Duke did his best to suppress his raging
emotions.
“Your Highness!”
At that moment, one of the knights stomped in the office. The knight, who was out of
breath, continued sluggishly.
“… We clearly confirmed that she was in the carriage many times, but after we surrounded
the carriage, the Duchess was not there.
We have no idea what was going on…Ah!”
In the blink of an eye, the Grand Duke approached and drew his sword from his waist. A
sharp gaze fell on the knight, as if he was about to cut off his head.
“Ah, we’ve been searching the neighborhood with the garrison, but there’s no witness, no
trace….”
“You b*st*rds.”
Throwing the sword on the floor, the Grand Duke roughly swept his black hair.
“Yes, sir!”
The Grand Duke gritted his teeth. He shouldn’t have left the job to those incompetent
people. He didn’t think it would be easy for them to get Julia back immediately, if he didn’t
act directly.
“Your Highness, I believe that Her Highness has a helper. How could she have disappeared
by herself with that many knights chasing her?”
The aide who was following the Grand Duke opened his mouth cautiously. Then, at that
moment, it suddenly came to the Grand Duke’s mind.
There was a priest who had come a few months ago to bless the Grand Duke’s castle. His
wife seemed to be quite close to him.
“Lloyd, you go to the temple of Ilion and find the priest who blessed the castle. She may be
hiding there. Search every corner.”
“Yes, sir!”
If that priest was helping Julia escape, he must have used his holy power.
If he was using his holy power, it would not be difficult for him to hide her presence or
distract the Grand Duke’s attention for a while.
The blue veins appeared on the back of the Grand Duke’s hand as he held the reins. The
mere thought that Julia might be with another man filled him with unspeakable rage.
But underneath it all, he felt disgusted with himself for being so heartless towards her all
these years.
He knew. He knew that Julia’s departure was ultimately his own fault.
Some knights were deployed to search even the small private houses.
The Grand Duke escaped the city walls with the other knights. As they entered the vicinity
of the carriage station, there was a rush of people heading for other areas.
When the road was blocked, the Grand Duke’s procession came to a halt.
“Wait.”
His gaze stopped near the crowded ticket booth, or more precisely on one of the women in
the crowd.
For a brief moment, he could see Julia’s face. Sure enough, it was her.
“Your Highness.”
The Grand Duke, dismounting from his horse, rushed into the crowd. He hurried to his feet,
glaring at the back of the woman in a hooded robe.
“Julia!”
Perhaps unaware of his shout, the woman did not turn around and continued walking. He
caught up with her at once, grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around.
As he flipped her hood back, the woman revealed a panicked face, widened her eyes. It was
not Julia.
“Damn it!”
The hesitant woman slowly backed away as he said the abusive language with an angry
face.
Then, just as the woman was about to turn away completely, the pendant that was on her
neck caught his eye unexpectedly.
Before he had time to remember what it was, his body moved first. The Grand Duke
grabbed the woman’s arm and cut off the string of the pendant that was on her neck at
once.
“…!”
The string of the metallic pendant broke into pieces. The woman shook off the Grand
Duke’s hand with startled eyes.
Soon the unfamiliar face gradually changed into the face of the woman he knew so well.
This woman looking at him with a stiff face was his wife Julia.
“Ha.”
He smiled faintly with a complicated expression. The panicked look on his wife’s face made
him feel miserable instead of angry.
With what kind of eyes should he face his wife who even dared to disguise to escape from
him?
“Oh, how did you know?”
Julia muttered with a disappointed look on her face. She didn’t have the slightest idea that
she would be caught so vainly either.
He gripped the pendant in his hand tightly as if he was crushing it, and said,
“Oh ….…”
Julia bit her lower lip in dismay. The Grand Duke pulled her by the hand.
Before Julia knew it, the approaching knights had surrounded the two of them tightly.
There was nowhere to run.
With her eyes squeezed shut, Julia was gently dragged away by him. There was nothing
more she could do when the pendant was taken away.
Moving to where he had tied the horse, he picked her up in one fluid motion over the
saddle. Naturally, he climbed in behind her and pulled her close into his arms.
“Julia.”
“…”
The Grand Duke watched her for a moment without getting a reply, then quickly tugged on
the reins.
Her light brown hair fluttered and tickled his neck. They ran for a while without a word of
conversation.
Julia was already in his arms. There was no need to be anxious anymore. But his anxiety
was not going to disappear any time soon.
Having escaped safely from the city, they entered the forest path. A procession of knights
moved forward, protecting the Grand Duke and his wife.
The Grand Duke stared at Julia’s small back. He wanted to know what expression she had
on her face. Whatever it was, he wanted to hear her voice confirm her presence.
“Your Highness.”
At that moment she called him in a quiet voice. The end of her voice was cracked.
The Grand Duke slowed his hurried pace and listened to her. Julia turned and looked at
him.
He could see a hint of tiredness on her face. He was troubled for a while, but soon stopped
running. The knights who were riding nearby also stopped.
They had to run more for a few more hours in order to reach the castle. It would definitely
be too much for her physical strength.
The Grand Duke said something to the approaching knight. With a silent bow, the knight
disappeared immediately to the other side.
“Yes.”
Julia dismounted from the horse and passed him numbly, then sat down on the grass far
away from him.
The Grand Duke shooed away the knights who were following him and approached her.
Julia crouched down and patted the hem of her robe meaninglessly. He looked at her
delicate hands with prominent joints and murmured.
“…”
Julia made no reply, but lowered her head deeper. The Grand Duke did not give in and
continued to throw questions.
Julia’s hand flinched at the muttering words. The Grand Duke, who did not miss the sight,
continued in a cool tone.
“If you don’t want to answer, then do so. I can just catch him and ask.”
“Please don’t hurt an innocent person. That man has nothing to do with me.”
When Julia, who had been silent, unexpectedly replied, the Grand Duke wrinkled his brow.
She faced her husband squarely with a downward glance.
She had this look on her face that said she couldn’t understand the situation. She even
looked a little angry. The Grand Duke spoke in a cold tone with a sultry feeling in his heart.
“Are there any men who could sit still while their wives are gone?”
Julia lifted her lips weakly. The Grand Duke’s lips moved in a complicated expression, but
he quickly gulped it down. His heart throbbed as if it was stabbed with something.
Julia, who was staring at him, raised herself up. Then she walked along the woodland path.
He understood that Julia meant that she wanted to be alone. But he couldn’t let her be. The
Grand Duke followed her at some distance.
Julia, who had been walking for a long time without saying a word, stopped. The Grand
Duke stopped with her, and his brow furrowed at the open sight.
Beneath a sheer cliff, a strong river was flowing. She didn’t know there was such a place in
this forest.
Just as the Grand Duke called out to her with an ominous premonition, she turned around
and pulled something out of her pocket.
“You….”
The Grand Duke stared at her with a slightly perplexed look in his eyes. Julia pointed a knife
at him.
Her hands trembled finely as she grasped the hilt of the knife. The Grand Duke, who paused
for a moment as if in shock, immediately killed his expression and approached her. Julia
stepped back.
“Don’t come any closer. If you get any closer, I’m really going to stab you…”
She would never stab him. Good-natured Julia Caesar could never do anything to hurt
others.
The Grand Duke took a few large steps forward, and Julia moved back with a jittery
movement.
If he got stabbed by that knife here, she would be sorry and come back to his side. Then she
could hit him as many times as she wanted, with a sword or a gun.
“Wait, Julia.”
His nonchalant face cracked at the moment the blade turned in an aborted direction.
The knife that had been aimed at him was now pointed at herself.
Julia plunged the knife further into her neck when her husband approached closer.
Red fresh blood flowed down from her white neck. In that state, she slowly backed away.
The Grand Duke was shaking frantically as he came to a stop. He knew that if he came any
closer, Julia was really going to cut her throat.
The more she retreated, the more the Grand Duke looked as if he was dying and prayed
fervently.
The longer he lingered, unable to approach, the closer Julia got to the edge of the cliff.
The Grand Duke shuddered, unable to hide his reddened eyes. It was hard to believe that he
was such a cold and heartless husband.
Julia smiled bitterly. That look in his eyes, his words….at one time he was all she had. Days
when she was deflected dozens of times and crumbled in a single glance.
These are the times she loved him while she was in loneliness.
Standing on the edge of the cliff, Julia slowly carving the face of the husband who had once
been her world into her eyes.
If not now, she would never be able to leave him forever. She would come to love him again.
“Julia!”
Staring at her desperate husband, Julia threw herself down the cliff.
Chapter 1
***
Julia sat on the opposite side of the table and glanced at the man tilting his glass.
Fernan Caesar, the man who at the age of twenty-six had led the imperial wars to victory
and inherited the Grand Dukedom.
He was a man of splendid beauty and solid outward appearance befitting his dignity, and
even his light shirt shone.
He was a man that one could not help but had to steal a glance. The fact that this man, who
looked so perfect, was her husband, was something unbelievable to Julia.
The sudden sound of his low voice startled Julia and she dropped her fork.
“Yes, yes…”
Julia blushed and picked up a small piece of bread on her plate. She couldn’t look up,
embarrassed that she had been caught stealing a glance.
While she was squirreling away the bread and stirring the stale soup around, the servant
brought our new dishes.
Julia, who was quietly cutting the steak, glanced up to check on him. He was only emptying
his champagne glass, as if this time was boring him.
‘Should we continue our conversation? What kind of conversations do normal couples have at
mealtime?’
With a few words he left the dining room. He did not look at her for even a moment.
Julia gazed blankly at his empty seat and put down the tableware. She didn’t want to eat
more.
Julia stood up, unable to eat half of her food, and walked briskly to her room.
In spite of the fact that they had been married for several months, she had never been able
to carry on any kind of dialogue with Fernan.
In fact, with the exception of the occasional mealtime, she rarely even saw him.
He had always been away for as short as three days and as long as a month.
Somehow, she felt like they were worse off than others.
“Your Highness, are you here? Did you enjoy your meal?”
As Julia entered the bedroom, the maidservant who was tidying the bedding welcomed her
with a smile. It was Melissa, who had been assigned as her full-time servant.
“Yes….”
Julia entered the dressing room and Melissa, who had followed her, helped her get dressed.
After putting on a thin slip dress and a gown, Julia came out of the bedroom again.
“Oh, I received a letter at noon, but I forgot to tell you about it.”
Melissa pulled the letter out of her pocket. Julia’s expression darkened slightly. She felt as if
she didn’t need to see the letter to know who it came from.
After Melissa had left, Julia opened the envelope and checked the contents. Naturally, the
sender was her father.
[Julia, to my daughter.
You haven’t answered the letter I sent you last time. I’m worried, so I wrote a new letter
and sent it to you. I hope you are settled in your new home. I am looking forward to hearing
good news from you every day. I will try to visit you at the castle soon.]
The letter was brief, containing only its purpose. Julia sighed heavily after plunging the
letter into the letter storage box.
Her father, Marquis Elody, had gained the most through this marriage.
He had used Fernan’s fame as a war hero to expand his business and maintain close ties
with the imperial family, thus increasing the prestige of the family line.
Still, he couldn’t get enough, and now he was forcing Julia to have a child with the Grand
Duke by sending her letters periodically and putting pressure on her to do so.
The reasoning was that with an heir, this marriage would flow in a more stable direction.
Julia had a subtle expression on her face as she pondered. She hadn’t even had her wedding
night with Fernan yet.
Children and heirs or something like that still seemed a long way away, but there was a
need to develop a relationship with him.
Now that they were husband and wife, they had many days together. Julia lay down on the
bed and slowly drew a picture of her husband.
From a long time ago until now, he has always been a beautiful and wonderful man.
It had been nine years since Julia first saw him. Julia, who was reminiscing about the past,
fell asleep at some point.
***
Nine years ago, it was the summer when she was 13. It was also the day Julia visited the
Imperial Palace for the first time in her life.
But before she could set foot in the banquet hall, Julia was thrown by a rough hand into a
small room deep inside the Imperial Palace.
It was the habitual abuse of the Marquis, who did not recognize Julia as his daughter.
“You stay here and be quiet. I’ll call you when the banquet is over.”
“Oh, father!”
Boom! Julia quickly withdrew her outstretched hand as she looked at the door, which
closed with a loud bang. Looking around with trembling eyes, she saw nothing but a dimly
lit interior hanging in the air. As she stood there frightened, she heard a loud playing sound
announcing the banquet.
Gasp.
The distant noise of the banquet hall made the young Julia even sadder.
‘Was it wrong for me to be excited for the first time in a pretty dress and riding in a fancy
carriage?’
Her vision was blurred by tears that trickled from her eyes.
She looked up and saw a tall man looking down at her with a blank expression on his face.
The man slowly bent his knees as he stared at Julia, who shook in surprise.
When their eyes were all at the same level, she could finally see the man’s face clearly.
Black hair covered by the darkness. Golden eyes that shine alone even in a pitch-black
room.
For a man, his face was so beautiful that it caught Julia’s gaze.
To the frightened Julia, the man gently held out his hand.
“…”
Fidgeting and gently grasping his fingertips, he eventually led her to a small door on one
wall.
Unlike the pitch-black room, the light of the sunset was just emerging over the terrace.
Strangely enough, her sad and sorrowful heart gradually disappeared while she was with
the man.
As such, he didn’t leave his seat until the sunset had completely faded and the moonlight
began to leak out.
Holding his large, linked hands tightly, Julia realized for the first time how warm someone’s
hands were.
It was the first time. It was the first time someone had held her hand like this without
hesitation.
When she finally heard the sound of the music announcing the end of the banquet, Julia
hesitated and asked him for the first time.
At the small question, he silently lowered his eyelids and then slowly lifted them up again.
The golden eyes that appeared at that moment were brighter and more beautiful to the
young Julia’s eyes than the moon in the sky.
“Fernan.”
“…”
That was the last conversation she had with the man.
After that day, Julia saw him again at the ceremony two days later.
The man was at the very front of the imperial army leaving for the war of conquest.
That would be Fernan Seyrev Formene. The emperor’s only nephew and the commander of
the imperial army in this war.
The man, whom she met in an old small room, was such an incredible man. Julia learned
belatedly that the day of the banquet where she met him was actually a ceremony for the
safe return of the Imperial troops going to war.
Without even having a chance to meet again, the mysterious man left for the battlefield.
But even after that, Julia could not easily forget that day.
And for a long time after he returned, Julia would watch him from afar.
The man who was no longer the boy in her memories, had become the most famous person
in the empire.
Surprisingly, it was at the meeting where the matchmaking took place that Julia met him
face to face. On that day, her father said to her,
After the war, that man, Fernan, was given the Northern Caesar’s territory and inherited
the Grand Dukedom.
That gentleman in her memory, who seemed too noble and distant, was the very man she
was to marry.
****
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Chapter 2
The next day, Julia woke up earlier than usual and hurriedly prepared to go out.
Dressed in a frilly white dress, she stared at her reflection in the mirror.
She still wasn’t used to the sight of three maids helping her dress up.
Before this marriage happened, she didn’t have any maids helping her. Julia was not a
Young Lady, but a daughter of the Marquis’s mistress.
Since her mother was a commoner, she could not officially become the second wife of the
Marquis. So according to the procedure, Julia wasn’t the Marquis’s daughter either.
However, after giving birth to her first son, the Marquise’s wife was diagnosed as infertile
and could not have any more children.
That was why the Marquis had Julia formally admitted to his family while concealing the
fact that she was his illegitimate daughter.
As can be seen from the word ‘commodity’, it means a political marriage, ‘something of
value’, which the Marquis was always in the habit of saying.
A father who wanted to make a profit by putting his daughter on the line.
To him, Julia was just a tool to sell to a good place and increase his position.
Julia was well aware that for aristocrats, marriage was mostly a political tool, but she still
wanted to have a marriage that combined love.
Having grown up in an environment where there was no family love, she wanted a home
filled with love.
So when this marriage was arranged, Julia began to believe in the existence of God for the
first time.
That man who she had never forgotten…. He was now her husband.
“Yes. I don’t get to see him very often, so I just wanted to say hello.”
Julia smiled awkwardly and stood up from her seat. I was a little embarrassed that her
attempt at a light greeting seemed to be interpreted as a big deal.
‘But if I make a little effort like this, I can get closer to him, right?’
Unlike Julia, who had never forgotten him, Fernan did not seem to remember her.
But she kept the promise she made to him that day, to meet him again like this, to let him
know her name.
Julia came out of her bedroom and immediately went downstairs to the lobby. She saw the
servants lined up in front of the entrance.
When the servants spotted Julia, they all bowed to her at once. She nodded lightly. Shortly
after, Fernan entered the central staircase through a long corridor.
“…”
He entered the hall with a leisurely gait, dressed in a black uniform decorated with gold
thread. Julia gazed at the figure in a daze.
The splendid conquest, masterfully woven over his broad shoulders and a strong body,
suited him very well. He was a beautiful man that Julia had always admired since she first
saw him a long time ago.
“Grand Duke.”
Fernan walked casually past the servants, spotted Julia, and suddenly stopped. His cold
gaze sank still on her.
Julia flinched as he asked in a tone that was colder than his gaze.
It was because the eyes looking down at her at the tall height felt somehow intimidating.
Julia looked up at him, who seemed to be cold, and replied with a puzzled look on her face.
“Morning greetings?”
Did he think that she was expecting something? Julia hurriedly opened her mouth to clear
up the misunderstanding.
“Um, there is no other meaning. I just wanted to see His Highness off…”
At the obviously sarcastic remark, Julia fell silent, her ears turning red.
Her heart began to tremble madly in confusion, which was also in her head.
She could feel the servants watching her. Julia bowed deeply.
Fernan, who was looking down at her, continued to speak in a slightly calmer, but
emotionless tone.
“If there’s anything you want, you can have it. Whether it’s remodeling the castle, buying
jewels, or throwing a party, I don’t care which.”
“…”
“But I do not want to see you in the morning, so please refrain from doing this.”
His expressionless face told all. ‘Don’t expect anything from me. There will be no affection
or warmth between us.’
The number of times she had seen and interacted with Fernan after their marriage was too
few to count. He was always busy and not always very talkative.
In the meantime, she couldn’t think of what mistake she had made.
Fernan left the castle on their wedding night, leaving the bride behind, saying he had
business to attend to. But Julia was content with all that, even that.
That was, until he looked down at her with cold eyes earlier.
“…”
She stood there for a moment in a daze, her expression deliberately set. But she just
couldn’t hide her sinking heart.
While she forced herself to walk, Fernan’s cold voice echoed in her ear. It seemed to chill
her to the core.
***
Marquis Elody slowly looked around the parlor and savored the tea.
It was a desolate and dreary interior. Like Fernan, the lord of the castle.
Julia replied distantly and grabbed her teacup. Her father, whom she had not seen in a long
time, remained only difficult and inconvenient.
The Marquis looked disgruntled and berated Fernan, then quickly changed the subject.
“Why are you so thin? There is nothing more ugly than a skinny girl.”
“What?”
Julia’s body shook out of habit at the Marquis’s light rebuke. She didn’t want to talk about
the subject anymore, but he didn’t seem to plan on stopping.
It wasn’t the best conversation to have with her father, but Julia nodded, not showing any
displeasure.
She couldn’t tell him the truth. Her father would probably go ballistic if he knew that she
didn’t even have her wedding night.
She didn’t even have a chance to get close to Fernan. He was as busy as ever, and the only
dinners they had together often ended without a word.
“I said it many times. It is only when you have children that this marriage will be perfect.”
“…”
“…When you have children, your place is secured. He’s an arrogant man. I don’t know what
he’s thinking.”
Julia kept her gaze down and grabbed her hand. Every time the Marquis spoke in a critical
tone about Fernan, she did not know how to react.
“Fortunately you have a face. What would you do if you only looked like wood…tsk.”
“”…”
Julia nodded hesitantly and hoped that this tough time would end soon.
The Marquis looked at her with a very unreliable look and took something out of his
pocket. It was a small medicine bottle filled with liquid.
“Take it. Men use it often to improve their drive. Just one sip will do the trick, so you have
to use a small amount.”
Julia blinked curiously. She didn’t know why her father gave her a medicine that was good
for men.
The Marquis furrowed his brow in frustration, and then quickly said in a meaningful tone,
“The Grand Duke has a lot of work with no time to rest. Then he’s likely to lose his stamina.”
“…”
“Before you and him become intimate, give it to him secretly. He won’t notice it if you put it
in water or wine.”
Julia inadvertently accepted the medicine bottle. The Marquis realized that she still didn’t
understand the meaning of this potion, but he didn’t open his mouth anymore.
Julia felt somewhat abhorrent, but since she was in front of the Marquis, she had no choice
but to put the medicine away. However, she was still concerned about ‘giving it to him
secretly’, so she planned to call the pharmacist later to make sure that the medicine was
safe.
After a while, the Marquis left the castle, saying that he would go see Fernan in person.
Sigh….
Returning to her bedroom, Julia put the medicine bottle in her drawer and closed it tightly
with a sigh.
After dealing with her difficult and dour father, all her energy left her body.
***
Fernan was conducting his political affairs in his other mansion in the northern part of
Caesar. The mansion was relatively small in size and was private, with only a few servants
and lieutenants having access to it.
With the main castle comparable to the Imperial Palace, the reason for having a separate
residence was simple. He needed a private space that no one could invade.
And now, Fernan was facing an uninvited guest who had invaded his space without
permission.
“Hahahaha, no matter how long I waited at the castle, you didn’t show up, so I came here
directly. I hope it wasn’t too rude.”
Marquis Elody entered the office with a nice smile. Then he saw Fernan staring at him
coldly and he was flabbergasted.
After Fernan put down the document he was reading, he gestured with his chin. It meant to
sit down. The Marquis’ smile was distorted by his attitude as if Fernan was treating his
subordinates.
Fernan stared at the Marquis, his legs arrogantly crossed. The Marquis put on his good-
natured face again and pulled out a letter from his pocket.
“I understand that you have work to handle, but you should not treat the person who came
with a message from His Majesty like this.”
The Marquis put the letter on the table and smiled triumphantly. Fernan twisted up one
side of his lips.
“His Majesty is so casual about it. How could he send the decrepit from far away to deliver a
mere letter? That’s right. Now that I look at you, the job suits you well.”
The Marquis’s face instantly turned red and blue. Perhaps his self-esteem got hurt, the
Marquis, who was silent for a while, forced his lips to bend.
“Hahaha…what shall I do? His Majesty’s only nephew is not loyal to the imperial family, so
he wants to correct the discipline even if he has to use this old man.”
“Loyalty…”
Fernan chuckled as he lowered his eyes halfway. The more powerful Fernan became, the
more the Emperor tried to oppress him in this way.
Tilting his head slowly in disgust, Fernan stared at the Marquis’s face.
Dark brown hair and blue eyes. He naturally reminded him of his wife, Julia.
“Just marrying the Marquis’s daughter was too much loyalty for me.”
Because of that loyalty, according to the emperor, Fernan became a commander at the age
of seventeen and fought in the imperial war.
After several years of fighting for the empire relentlessly, the result was an unwanted
marriage.
“Yes, I do. If you have a child with my daughter as soon as possible and produce an heir, His
Majesty may recognize the Grand Duke’s loyalty.”
That meant that he had to produce an heir and put down his title as soon as possible.
Once he retired himself, he would take the opportunity to dismantle the Grand Duke’s
private army and try to make his successor do as he wished.
The Marquis took the opportunity of Fernan’s bad mood to begin to wrap things up nicely.
“After giving birth to the heir, the Grand Duke can take a distant rest with my daughter.
Wouldn’t it be nice to no longer be tormented by His Majesty?”
“…”
“Think about it. I’m not asking you to make a stranger your successor. Is it so unfair to hand
down the title to the Grand Duke’s biological child?”
Fernan raised his deep somber eyes and glared at the Marquis. The Marquis’ face, full of
greed and ambition, was more sickening than filth.
Fernan, who had been silent for a while with his brows furrowed, spoke slowly.
“If His Majesty’s intentions are true, I can’t disobey him, can I?”
It was when the Marquis was about to say something more, Fernan spoke in an arsenic-
laced tone.
“I’m sure he won’t mind any child as long as it came from my blood.”
The Marquis was startled out of his wits by these words. He raised his trembling hand and
pointed at Fernan.
“What do you mean by that? Are you saying you’re gonna have an illegitimate child?”
It was very entertaining to see the Marquis shouting angrily and sluggishly. Fernan leaned
back against the sofa and smiled.
“No matter how I try, I don’t think I can have children with the Marquis’s daughter. Every
time I look at her, I see the image of her father, and my body won’t cooperate. So, what can I
do?”
“You…!”
The Marquis’s anger soared and he felt like he was about to collapse.
The Marquis grabbed the back of his neck and clung to it as if he was about to fall. Fernan
watched the scene satisfactorily for a moment, then got up from his seat.
“It seems that you have finished everything you wanted to say, so I’ll go now.”
Leaving the shivering Marquis behind, Fernan stepped out of the office.
After being left alone, he slammed on the table roughly. He knew Fernan was difficult, but
he didn’t expect he would go this far.
He was right, the emperor would be satisfied with anything as long as Fernan dropped his
title as soon as possible. It didn’t matter if the heir was his wife’s child or not.
If Fernan had indeed an illegitimate child, it would be a disaster for him (the Marquis). All
the hopes he had for this marriage would be in vain.
The Marquis gritted his teeth, unable to control his anger for a moment.
It seemed that he would have to find some other ways that would ensure that Fernan
would be tamed.
***
“Grand Duchess.”
The chamberlain bowed deeply and opened the door. Julia entered the dining room with a
feeling of nervousness in her heart.
An uncharacteristically quiet atmosphere greeted her. Fernan did not look at her as she
entered, but fixed his gaze on the document in his hand.
“Good evening, Your Highness.”
Julia greeted him in a low voice, but as usual, Fernan didn’t reply.
Maybe her voice was too low to be heard. Comforting herself like that, Julia sat quietly in
her seat.
Soon hot soup, fresh salad and well-done lamb steaks were placed on the table in turn.
“I’m fine.”
Shaking her head with a small smile, Julia immediately began to eat. Only the occasional
clatter of dishes filled the dining room.
Julia, who was about to eat her salad, looked at Fernan with her fork in the void. He
continued to talk without taking his eyes off the document.
“Yes.”
Her heart pounded. It was the first time Fernan had suggested doing something first.
Fernan didn’t continue the conversation as if that was his only purpose. Julia couldn’t
believe she was going to the capital with him and have an audience with the Emperor. Julia
was so excited that she didn’t notice Fernan’s mood was more subdued than usual.
Now she felt like she was really married to him, and her heart began to flutter.
The carriage carrying the Grand Duke and his wife left early in the morning, just as the sun
began to rise.
Julia, who was so nervous last night that she didn’t sleep at all, intended to get some sleep
in the carriage.
However, when she saw Fernan sitting in front of her, a certain sleepiness seemed to
vanish.
“…”
He was still examining the document as they traveled in the carriage. It was a little
disappointing to see his eyes covered by his downcast eyelids.
Fernan has beautiful golden eyes that seem to melt in the sunlight. It was a warm color that
eased the sharpness of his eyes.
In contrast, his dark ebony-black hair gave off a somewhat cold feeling.
Today, his hair was neatly swept to reveal a clean forehead, but thanks to it, his sculpted
face was clearly visible.
It seemed that she could look at just his face all day and never get tired of it.
“Why don’t you stop looking and go to sleep if you have nothing better to do?”
Fernan murmured in a low voice, not taking his eyes off the document. Julia was startled
and replied quickly.
Fernan stared at her reddened cheeks, holding her gaze, and wrinkled his brow.
Whenever they were face to face, Julia showed such an innocent expression again.
He had no idea if she was shy or pretending to be. She was unpleasant in a different way
from the Marquis.
If it hadn’t been for the emperor’s message, he wouldn’t have gone to the capital with her in
the first place.
[I will be gathering the members of the imperial family for a dinner banquet in the
near future, and you must attend. Please be sure to come with Julia.]
Normally, he would not attend, but it was clear that if he refused the emperor’s order any
longer, he would try to pressure him again, expressing his deep sorrow.
The whole thing was annoying and troublesome. Even that woman who was still flirting
with him.
Fernan, who had once again glued his gaze on the document, completely blocked her vision
with it.
While the attendants carried their luggage inside, the two were led to their assigned places.
As soon as Julia stepped out of the carriage, she felt a sudden surge of fatigue.
As much as she wanted to jump into bed, her first priority was to meet and greet His
Majesty the Emperor.
“I’m here to see you, Your Majesty. How have you been?”
“All right, come on in. I’m sure you’ve had a lot of trouble coming a long way.”
The Emperor’s warm reception continued. After exchanging a few formal reassurances
with Fernan, the emperor quickly cast a glance at Julia.
“I haven’t seen you since the wedding. I’m glad to see you looking healthy.”
Julia replied politely, hiding the tension that was surging through her.
“I’m glad to hear that. Grand Duke is such a blunt man that I had an uncommon fear that the
Grand Duchess would be neglected.”
The emperor was joking, and Julia took the place of an answer by softly facing him.
The emperor was quite a friendly and impressionable person, but he was someone with
whom she somehow felt uncomfortable.
It was somehow similar to how she felt when she saw her father.
The dining table prepared inside the banquet hall was spacious enough for fifteen people to
sit comfortably.
Seated at the table were the Empress, the Crown Prince and his wife, and several princes
and princesses.
Julia listened to the emperor’s words as she tried to adjust to the unfamiliar atmosphere.
“My heart feels so full to see you all here after such a long time.”
“Yes, Your Majesty. It’s thanks to the newcomer to the imperial family.”
The Empress looked at Julia with a compassionate smile. With her red hair elegantly
cropped, the Empress was a gentle woman.
Yes, the Empress is right…It’s very fortunate that the Grand Duke has such a virtuous wife.”
“Marquis Elody raised her well. She grew up with a loyal father, and she must also be loyal
to the imperial family. I believe that the Grand Duchess will bring great blessings to the
imperial family.”
The emperor’s words drew everyone’s attention to Julia. She felt the pressure for a
moment, but then calmed down and spoke.
“Thank you.”
Julia thought that the emperor seemed to overly flatter her. She should be grateful for the
compliment, but somehow she felt more awkward.
She gulped a sigh, then glanced at Fernan, who sat across from her. His expression was
oddly twisted.
Just as she was about to question his appearance, he opened his mouth.
“Why did you give me the woman you liked so much? Your Majesty could have her.”
The tone was light as he passed by, but a thin ice silence flowed inside the banquet hall.
Everyone was looking at Fernan with bewilderment.
“If Your Majesty wishes, I will step down from this marriage.”
Julia looked at him with a pale face. Her mind froze blank.
Her hands, which had quickly lost their warmth, began to tremble. She couldn’t make sense
of this situation.
It was the Empress who broke the stifling silence. She kept a calm expression among the
hardened ones.
The emperor, who had a dumbfounded look on his face, finally spoke.
Yeah, that kind of joke doesn’t fit the situation. You didn’t mean to humiliate me, did you?”
The emperor’s lips quivered. He didn’t know whether to be angry or just laugh it off.
Fernan smiled, keeping a single, coquettish look on his face. He didn’t look like the man
who had thrown the bomb into the middle of a friendly dinner party.
“There’s no way I have such impure intentions toward His Majesty. You are mistaken.”
Julia stared at him blankly. Her heart was beating as if it was about to jump out of her chest,
but her mind was still and quiet.
“Your Majesty. In a moment. I would like to speak with you about an international
matter…”
Thanks to the Crown Prince’s hasty change of subject, the dinner continued in a strange
atmosphere.
Occasionally, the Empress managed to talk to Julia, who was stunned throughout, and Julia
gave suitable answers.
However, when the dinner was over and she left the banquet hall, she could not remember
what she had said at all.
While moving to return to her designated place, Julia touched her cold hands.
Fernan, who was walking ahead, was talking to the Crown Prince about something.
Her legs faltered and she paused for a moment, her lips clenched and she had a tight grip
on the hem of her dress.
All the while, he moved further and further away, never once looking back.
Julia held onto the wall and lowered her head. The air was so cold that it stung her lungs.
She looked for a moment at the end of the corridor where Fernan had disappeared. She was
the only one left in the empty hallway.
***
Occasionally, a maid came to wake her up and offered her food, but she never felt like
eating anything.
However, she had to force herself to wake up because the Empress had a tea party in the
afternoon.
“Duchess, you’re looking very pale. Are you sure you don’t want me to call the doctor?”
To the maid’s concerned question, Julia nodded, meaning that she was fine.
Her face, bloodless and pale, looked exactly like the patient. It was no wonder that her maid
was constantly worried about her.
During the three days stay in the capital, Julia’s official itinerary was only the tea parties
and dinners hosted by the Empress.
After dressing up, she dragged her tired body to the Central Palace.
“Julia! Why didn’t you call me when you came to the capital!”
Marchioness Elody Was happy and embraced Julia as soon as she got close. Julia’s face
gradually hardened.
There was no way that the Marchioness would miss the tea party where the capital’s noble
ladies gathered, but she was too preoccupied to overlook it.
“That mansion got lonely without you. I don’t know how much your father misses you too.”
“Yes…”
The Marchioness took Julia’s hand in hers and caressed her affectionately. She seemed to
be a kind mother who was concerned about her daughter’s well-being.
The sight of the Marchioness, whom Julia hadn’t seen in a long time, made her feel
horrified. Julia finally answered with a smile that did not come out.
She felt the same way about herself as she replied to the Marchioness’s performance. Julia
sat down in front of the tea table, mocking herself helplessly.
The gazes of the noble ladies poured in like a burden. She was the wife of Grand Duke
Caesar, the most powerful man in the empire today. She was enough to be the focus of
many people’s attention.
“Um, how long is the Grand Duchess planning to stay in the capital?”
“I will be here for about three days, including today.”
“It’s a pity, I was expecting her to stay all the way until National Day. The Grand Duke has
always been a very busy man, so I suppose it can’t be helped.”
She felt a bit bitter even though she felt Fernan’s presence was great.
Julia listened and half-listened to the formal conversation. When the tea party was over,
Julia stood up to hurry back. But the Marchioness’s gentle voice caught her feet.
“Julia, how would you like to stop by the house before you leave the capital?”
As Julia faltered and did not answer easily, a meaningful smile appeared on the
Marchioness’s face.
“I heard from the Empress that you are free for the entire four days, with the exception of
the evening party the day after tomorrow?”
“…… Yes.”
Julia could not help but agree, and the Marchioness smiled and raised herself up. She took
Julia gently by the arm and said.
“Julia.”
The marchioness held Julia’s wrists with great effort. There was a familiar rejection in her
tight touch.
“Be sure to take the Duke with you. You can do that much, can’t you?”
Julia remained silent and avoided replying, and soon gave a weary sigh.
She was no match for the marchioness anyway. The Marchioness was a great woman who
would not give in until Julia gave her the answer she wanted.
The Marchioness smiled brightly as if nothing had happened and patted the back of Julia’s
hand.
Julia walked out of the parlor, stroking her forehead. A deep sigh escaped from her
naturally.
“His Highness will be out for a while. Why don’t you come inside and wait for him?”
As she was loitering in front of Fernan’s bedroom door for a while, one of the servants
approached and spoke to Julia.
“I don’t know that much. But he went out early this morning, so he will probably be back
soon.”
Julia nodded. It seemed to be a good thing that she had come to visit him in the late
afternoon on purpose.
Still, it seemed impolite to enter a room where the master was not present, so she stood
still, and the servant, who understood what she meant, opened the door with a polite
gesture.
She was worried that Fernan would be angry that she had come in without permission.
Julia thought sadly, but the servant who had just opened the door came into the room with
tea and refreshments.
“It’s chamomile tea. It has the effect of stabilizing the mind and body. I know it’s rude, but…
Your Highness looks a little tired.”
The servant put the teacup down on the table. With her little consideration, the feeling of
being stuck in the mud seemed to be getting a little better.
The servant blushed when Julia showed her a small smile, and after a quick greeting, she
disappeared.
Julia drank the offered tea and looked at the display cabinet on the wall. Fernan did not
appear even after the teacup was empty.
Julia looked out the window. It was early evening and quite dark outside.
She thought she was used to sitting still, but today she felt more tired than usual.
In the meantime, Fernan was having a meeting in the Crown Prince’s audience room.
He wanted Fernand to take charge of the defense of the entire capital for this National Day
festival.
In other words, he wanted him to guard that area while the Emperor made his way around
the square for the parade.
“I don’t know why you would ask me to do this for the Imperial Guard.”
Fernan stared at the Crown Prince with an expressionless face. The deception that was in
full view in front of him was not a simple matter.
Their intention was for the war hero, Grand Duke Caesar, to take the initiative to protect
the Emperor.
In this way, they could build a solid image of the imperial family.
Chapter 5
****
Sponsored chapter by h. Thank you 💖
***
“Isn’t the Grand Duke also a member of the Imperial Family? We can’t leave the protection
of His Majesty’s safety to a single knightly order.”
Fernan looked pityingly at the Crown Prince who was insistently persuading him. It was
the same for both the emperor and his son to try to put pressure on him in this way. Being
annoying seemed to be hereditary, too.
Fernan left the reception room, ignoring the Crown Prince’s last words. He felt bad because
the meeting had gone longer than expected.
Returning home, he immediately took off his uniform and strode to the dressing room.
Then he suddenly felt a strange presence and stopped and turned his head. A small person
lying on the couch came straight into his field of vision.
Fernan squinted and approached the sofa. Through her disheveled light brown hair, he
could see the face of a woman who was asleep.
“Ha.”
Fernan, who confirmed that the woman was Julia, let out a small laugh.
What on earth was she up to in a room without the master? He stared down at Julia, his
brow furrowed.
Seeing her sleeping peacefully, he felt annoyed for a moment, but also distracted.
Clicking his tongue lightly, Fernan took a quick look around the room. He didn’t see
anything particularly disruptive.
As he was prowling around, his gaze fell on the teacup on the table. He was getting even
more speechless seeing that she even drank tea in that situation.
Fernan crossed his arms and stared at Julia’s pale face for a while.
Then, suddenly, he tilted his head lightly with a questionable look.
He didn’t notice at first because of her shallow breathing, but her breathing was rather
irregular. A cold sweat on her white forehead caught his eyes.
Fernan, who was pondering with an expressionless face, quickly slipped out of the
bedroom.
****
Julia woke up slowly with a throbbing headache. Her blue eyes, half open, were dazed and
wet.
She rolled over and crawled under the covers, her dazed eyes fluttering.
Then suddenly her eyes opened wide and she sat up quickly. It was because she realized
that this was not her place.
A low voice sounded in her ears. Julia looked in the direction of the sound and opened her
mouth slightly.
“… Your Highness?”
She caught sight of Fernan sitting in the recliner in front of the fireplace, looking at her.
She tried to remember what happened with a puzzled look on her face. Obviously, she was
sitting on the couch, waiting for him to return. Then, she got a little sleepy and….
‘Did I just crawl into his bed in my sleep?’ Julia’s lips quivered in panic.
Intercepting her words, Fernan placed the papers in his hand on the table. His silent eyes,
not a speck of light, slowly swept through her.
“Physician…?”
It was then that Julia was taken aback when she discovered the medicine on the small table.
She had been feeling sluggish for a long time, but she didn’t think she was sick. Julia parted
her lips cautiously.
“Um, thank you… His Highness called for the physician, didn’t he?”
Fernan didn’t reply, just thumped the handle on the side of his chair. Unsure of the meaning
of the silence, Julia fidgeted awkwardly with the bed sheets.
Soon Fernan got up and walked to the bed. Standing with his back to the moonlight, he
stared at Julia’s face.
“Now tell me. What was your reason for sneaking into my room?”
“……what?”
“I’m sure you didn’t come here to demonstrate that you’re sick.”
His shadow hung heavily over the bed. He frowned as if he was trying to see through Julia’s
intentions.
Slurring her words, Julia immediately held her gaze which was being shaken.
She didn’t know why Fernan was being so cold to her, but she didn’t want to shrink and
become afraid of him.
Fernan lifted one eyebrow at the quiet voice. Julia clasped her hands tightly and continued
speaking.
“I’m sorry I came in here without permission. But… Your Highness and I are married.”
“…”
Her voice trembled slightly. Julia looked up at Fernan with a nervous face.
His face seemed to be slowly distorting, and soon a light sneer ran across his lips.
He lightly pushed Julia’s shoulders and laid her down on the bed. Leaning over the bed,
Fernan whispered as he stared at her frozen body beneath him.
“Come to think of it, we haven’t had our wedding night yet, have we?”
His long fingers grazed her hair and soon touched the front of her messy dress.
He slowly untied the silk ribbon at Julia’s chest. His gaze remained fixed on her.
But she could not see any heat or desire in his face.
He wasn’t showing any momentary lust now, nor was he trying to do his duty as a husband.
It was just the obvious attitude of trying to find out her reaction.
Fernan, who was staring at the stiffened Julia, twisted one side of his mouth.
“I don’t understand why you have that look. Isn’t this what you wanted when you talked to
me about being married?”
His coldness chilled her all the way to the inside of her head.
“I just wanted to say something, that’s all. I didn’t come here hoping for something like
this…..”
Julia, who was murmuring embarrassingly, breathed out. Suddenly, a stabbing pain came in
her head.
“If you have time….. I want to ask if His Highness would like to visit my parents’ house with
me. From my mother, please….”
Her vision was blurry for a moment. The Fernan in her gaze was greatly perturbed.
Julia, who was looking up at him with blurry eyes, immediately pushed his solid chest out
weakly.
Contrary to her expectation that he would not move slightly, he simply stood up. Soon the
huge shadow that had surrounded her disappeared.
“I’ll be on my way…”
After lifting herself up and getting out of bed, Julia stumbled and fell on the carpet. It was
difficult to keep her balance because of the headache.
She sighed heavily as she held her head up, and then she pushed with her hands on th floor
to stand up.
Fernan, who had been staring at her up and down several times, frustratedly swept his
hair.
In a somber voice, Fernan put Julia down on the bed, then stepped toward the door.
Perhaps it was because her mind was wandering. Fernan’s face seemed somehow more
subtle.
Julia gazed blankly at his back as he moved away, and soon closed her eyes.
***
Entering the city center, the carriage traveled along the square and soon entered the Mare
district where the mansions were clustered. Julia looked out the window, basking in the
warmth of the sun, and then turned her gaze to the other side.
In the seat in front of her, Fernan was sitting with his arms crossed and his eyes closed.
In the morning, when she woke up in his bed, Julia remembered the previous day’s troubles
and was in a mixed mood.
When she came out of his bedroom in such a depressed mood, she heard Fernan’s words
through his servant.
“Grand Duchess, His Highness said he would accompany you to see the Marquis after he
finished his morning work.”
Julia couldn’t help but be surprised. She didn’t expect him to do what she asked. She was
forced to ask under pressure from the Marchioness, but unlike herself, Fernan had a tightly
packed schedule. She was told that he had no time to rest during his stay in the capital due
to the many meetings for the approaching Founding Day celebration Festival… but most
importantly, he was so cold towards her yesterday.
She was even a little confused why such a man made his time for her. Julia looked at him as
if she were observing him, unable to hide her wonder.
At that moment, his eyes, which had been closed, slowly opened.
Thinking that she had snooped, she apologized reflexively, but Fernan didn’t say anything.
After already making eye contact with her, he opened his mouth in a low voice.
Fernan’s gaze immediately dropped at her reply. The figure beside him, turning his head to
look out the window, was as insensitive as usual.
Julia lowered her head with a subtle expression and bit her lips slightly. She felt a little
strange.
Chapter 6
***
Sponsored chapter by h. Thank you 💖
***
“Your Highness, I’m so touched to see you here when you’re so busy.”
Marquis Elody greeted the Grand Duke and his wife with a bright smile. The servants also
formed a long line and bowed to them.
Fernan replied in a superior but polite manner and then entered the mansion.
The Marchioness came out into the main hall late and greeted Fernan.
“Welcome, Grand Duke. I’m afraid I’ve bothered the busy man.”
When Fernan replied without sincerity, the Marchioness’s face distorted slightly. However,
she immediately regained her unconcerned smile, and continued to speak smoothly.
“It’s a shame that we can’t provide you with a meal when you’re here. How would you like
to enjoy a tea party under our patronage instead?”
Due to the itinerary, they had to be back at the Imperial Palace before the evening was over.
“My knights are in the middle of field training, it would be an honor for them if the Grand
Duke could attend.”
After he finished speaking, he turned his gaze to Julia, who stood beside Fernan.
“Julia, show the Grand Duke around the mansion. We’ll call for you when the tea party is
ready.”
At her father’s suggestion, Julia glanced at Fernan. He was standing there uninterested, but
nodded as if to tell her to take the lead.
As she walked up the stairs with him, Julia felt a little strange.
This mansion was the place of her childhood, riddled with pain and scars.
It was a place she never wanted to return to again, but being with Fernan made her feel
secure somehow.
Perhaps it was because she was a little excited that he gave up his time for her.
Julia led him into the gallery and looked around at the paintings on the walls in turn.
This was where the portraits of the Marquis and his family hang. It was the most
elaborately decorated gallery in the mansion by the Marquis.
It was also a place where Julia had never been allowed to set foot in as a child.
She turned her head away, as it seemed to bring back bad memories, and found Fernan
stopped in front of one of the paintings.
“Ah, that’s…”
The painting he was looking at was a portrait of the young Julia. She was sitting
expressionlessly.
Despite the Marchioness’s objection, Julia’s portrait had been hanging here for a long time.
It was for the purpose of staging it to show to the guests visiting the mansion. Fernan
stared at Julia’s portrait for a long time, not even looking at the other paintings.
Julia looked at his profile suspiciously, and before she knew it, she was in a delicate mood.
The Julia depicted in the portrait was around thirteen years old. It was around that time
that she had first met Fernan.
A faint feeling of anticipation swelled in Julia’s heart. But Fernan didn’t say anything, he just
stared at the picture. Julia kept her mouth tightly shut and remained silent.
“I heard that there are some works by famous artists in the other rooms. Would you like to
see them?”
At her words, Fernan finally took off his gaze from the painting and stared at Julia.
He immediately exited the gallery, as if he had no more business there. Hastily following
him, Julia touched her cheek, which for some reason had become hot.
When they returned to the main hall, the servant told them that the tea party was ready. On
their way to the patronage together, Julia opened her mouth cautiously.
“Your Highness, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to come with me
today.”
Fernan nodded without replying. There was an unusual soft glow in his eyes as they caught
the sunlight.
Julia gave a small lift to both ends of her mouth and moved her floating feet lightly.
When they arrived at the patronage, the Marquis, who had arrived earlier, led them to their
seats.
After talking about the training methods of the knights for a while, the Marquis quickly
changed the subject by talking about his own business.
“So, I’ve expanded my business for a while now. If the Grand Duke is interested…”
The Marquis was always an overbearing and scary father to Julia, but this was the only
moment he seemed insignificant.
It was frustrating for the Marquis to not be able to talk to Fernan when there was hardly
any response coming back.
“Oh, Julia. Will you follow me for a moment? I bought some accessories and dresses for you.
I don’t know if you’ll like them.”
The Marquis made a gentle smile and glanced at Fernan’s direction.
Fernan didn’t show any reaction and just watched the knights training.
With his approval, the Marquis stepped out of his patronage and led Julia in a small,
secluded room.
“How has the Grand Duke been lately? Have you noticed any signs of suspicious behavior?”
“… Suspicious?”
When Julia did not understand the meaning of the question, the Marquis added, frowning in
frustration.
“In particular, does he seem to be wandering around outside or meeting with women from
the outside?”
Julia’s eyes gradually widened. She had never thought about it that way before. But when
she heard the Marquis’s words, she thought it wasn’t impossible.
Even though they had been married for many moons, he still seemed unwilling to spend
their wedding night.
Julia fell silent with a complicated look on her face and continued to speak as the Marquis
urged her on.
“I don’t know much about that. I only know that he’s busy. ….”
“Ha, what the hell are you doing at the mansion? You should know where your husband is
and what he’s doing.”
The Marquis frowned and shouted. Julia flinched and fell silent.
The Marquis, who clicked his tongue as if he didn’t even like the sight of her, continued to
speak.
“…”
Julia thought of the medicine the Marquis had given her the day he visited the Grand Duke’s
castle. It was somehow suspicious, so she put it on the shelf and forgot all about it since
then.
“Not yet…”
“Why in the world are you waiting so long? Do I have to shove it directly into the Grand
Duke’s mouth? You don’t know what you can do by yourself, do you?”
The Marquis’s loud voice continued for a while. Julia endured her father’s words silently.
The Marquis, who had finally managed to calm down, sighed for a long time and then
opened his mouth.
He was at a loss as to where to begin teaching and telling this innocent and dim-witted girl.
The Marquis decided it would work better to threaten her as he always did.
“You have not forgotten what I had told you many times, have you? If your marriage to the
Grand Duke does not work out, you will no longer be my daughter.”
“If you don’t want to rot for the rest of your life, abandoned like your own mother, you will
have a child by any means necessary!”
Julia’s hands flinched. Not because she was frightened by the Marquis’ threatening words,
but because of the discomfort that filled her heart.
Every time she was told to have children somehow, she felt like she was a livestock, and she
was distressed. She wanted to cover her ears right away, but there was nothing she could
do but lower her head.
“I know very well that the Grand Duke is not a kind man to you. Even in front of His
Majesty.”
The Marquis clicked his tongue in annoyance. He had already experienced a few times what
a terrible man Fernan was.
Long before the wedding with Julia was decided, by order of the Emperor, a woman was
secretly sent to Fernan’s bed.
The woman was a countess. She was a well-known woman who remained a widow after
losing her husband.
If it was revealed that he had slept with such a woman, no matter how tough he might have
been, his impeccable reputation was bound to be damaged.
Chapter 7
***
Of course, rumors were just rumors. The Marquis was well aware of how messy the
beautiful Countess was living.
Moreover, Fernan had just returned from the war, and the Marquis was sure that he would
not be able to control his desire.
That night was the day of the victory party, and Fernan had drunk a lot of alcohol to match
the mood of the party.
At midnight, he returned to his bedroom and saw the Countess lying naked on the bed and
immediately grabbed the servants in charge of his room.
They were all fired for letting an outsider into the residence of the Grand Duke, and when it
became known, the Countess put an end to her social life altogether.
Well, in the end, it was a good thing for the Marquis, because the job was never done and he
was able to get Julia married to the Grand Duke.
However, the Marquis was terribly worried because that disproportionately solid man
seemed to be putting up walls even to his wife Julia.
“I don’t think I’ll ever have a baby with the Marquis’sdaughter. Every time I look at her,
I see her father’s image and I can’t function. So what can I do?”
The Marquis frowned darkly as he thought of the words Fernan had said to him that day.
The Marquis gritted his teeth and recited, as if he was dizzy just thinking about it.
“If he can’t move his body, I can use drugs to force him to perform his duty like a man.”
At such a murmur from the Marquis, Julia quietly raised her downward gaze. Her face grew
paler and paler.
“No matter how stone-like a man he is, if he drinks that potion, he’ll turn into a beast.”
“What….?”
Only then did Julia’s mouth slowly open as she realized what the medicine was.
She couldn’t believe that her father had given such a horrible thing to her without a second
thought.
Julia’s hands began to tremble faintly. It made her extremely anxious to think that such a
drug was in her room.
“Don’t think about it and follow my words. That’s how you, me, and our family will live.”
“I’ll get you all the medicine you need. All you have to do is use it to coax the Grand Duke.
Do you understand?”
The Marquis put his hands to Julia’s shoulders and squeezed her as if to force her to
respond.
Facing her father’s vicious face straight on, she closed her eyes tightly and bowed her head.
The Marquis satisfied with her inaudible answer and took his hand away sufficiently.
After lightly tapping Julia’s shoulder, the Marquis turned around and added.
“You should return to the patronage. If you’re away for too long, he might think it’s
strange.”
After the Marquis disappeared, Julia stood still, holding her trembling hands. The shock just
wouldn’t go away.
She couldn’t believe she had to give her husband drugs to make him a beast….
When she appeared, Fernan, who had been sitting at the tea table watching the knights
train, averted his gaze. Her nervousness only grew as her eyes met his. Julia let out a long
sigh inwardly.
She was raised to be a dutiful daughter. The person who had the most direct influence on
her life was the Marquis; he was the one who controlled her life with a single word.
But this time, for once, she couldn’t follow her father’s words. She didn’t want to hurt
Fernan.
She wanted to have a relationship with him where they cared for each other, not one where
she had to force to have it.
Fernan asked in a low voice. Her heart ached greatly at the sight of his insensitive
appearance as always.
***
It took them half a day to reach the Grand Ducal Palace in the evening, when the sun was
beginning to set.
Julia refused the steward who offered her dinner and immediately went to her room.
The maid, Melissa, who was waiting near the room, welcomed her with a bright smile.
“Please.”
After changing into her indoor dress with Melissa’s help, Julia came out to the bedroom and
checked the shelf. She looked for a storage box that she put at the bottom of the shelf. The
box contained the medicine bottle and the letters from the Marquis.
“What?”
Julia’s face turned pale for a moment as she hurriedly took out the storage box. It was
because the storage box, which was locked tightly with a key, was open.
She urgently checked inside, but it was empty. There was nothing inside.
“Um, Melissa… Did you sort out the stuff in here?”
Julia asked in a shaky voice, and Melissa, who was making her bed, tilted her head.
“No, I didn’t touch that locker. What’s going on? Did something go missing?”
If Melissa didn’t touch it, one of the other maids might have.
After calmly closing her locker, Julia turned to Melissa and asked.
“Melissa, could you please go get the maids who cleaned this room?”
When Melissa left, Julia paced back and forth in the same place anxiously.
The Marquis’s letters were mostly just about her well-being, so there was no particular
problem if anyone read it. The medicine, however, was.
Soon after, Melisa came back into the room with some maids.
“Your Highness, I have brought the maids who have been cleaning your bedchamber for the
past few days.”
The maids looked at Julia and bowed their heads. They looked puzzled as if they didn’t
know why they were called.
“Have any of you organized the locker under the shelf while cleaning my room?”
Julia said in a calm tone. She didn’t want to be unnecessarily suspicious in a situation where
she wasn’t sure.
The servants shook their heads and quickly answered one by one.
“I’ve seen the locker when I cleaned the shelf, but I didn’t organize the contents.”
The faces of the servants looked uniformly innocent. After pondering for a while, Julia
nodded and dismissed them.
There were jewels and gold that they could steal, so there was no way they would steal an
unidentified medicine bottle, or just some letters.
So who would have done it?
“Your Highness.”
The maids who had just slipped out of Julia’s room bowed in surprise. Turning her head,
Julia’s eyes widened when she saw Fernan standing at the door.
“Your Highness…”
Fernan walked past the maids and entered the room. The servants closed the door with
some concern and then disappeared elsewhere.
A hint of bewilderment flashed across Julia’s face. She had no idea why he suddenly came to
visit her.
Fernan looked around the room slowly, then turned his gaze to Julia again.
“……what?”
Julia’s mouth slowly opened. What was in Fernan’s hand was that medicine bottle she had
been looking for all along.
“Why…”
Julia’s eyes wavered aimlessly as she stared at the medicine bottle. Fernan stared at her
and frowned coldly.
But the words didn’t come out. They just lingered in her mouth.
She couldn’t say anything easily because everything she said now would sound like an
excuse.
“I didn’t realize that you had access to an aphrodisiac for your husband.”
It was only for a brief moment, but his mood was terribly tainted by being swept away by
this woman.
Chapter 8
On the day of his visit to the Imperial Palace, Fernan felt some strange emotion when he
saw Julia sleeping in his bedroom without permission.
So he called the doctor and had her treated. He didn’t care one bit if she lay there sick or
died that way, no, it would have been better if she had died.
So, in the end, his feelings at that moment must have been closer to momentary pity.
“It’s cold.”
She didn’t wake up after hours, and rambled on, buoyed by the medicinal feeling. Then,
after a while, she woke up and called him with dazed and wet eyes.
“…Your Highness?”
A woman with unpleasantly beautiful eyes. She was a woman who looked like the Marquis,
but not like him.
Unlike the Marquis, who was easy to understand, she was a woman whose heart was
difficult to grasp. So, when he tried to interrogate her in a bit of a vulgar way, she dismissed
him with a tearful look on her face.
“I just…I just wanted to say something. I didn’t come here hoping for this….”
He didn’t know why her small body looked so weak for a moment as she shivered and
curled up. He didn’t know why he felt so guilty as she tried to sit up.
Guilt. Fernan was appalled. He was shaken by this woman for a while by her appearance.
Even if he had plenty of time, he scattered the time in the air that he would not have given
to Marquis Elody’s daughter.
Yes, it was obvious that something was written on it. (On the medicine bottle)
“Ha…”
How many people had she fooled with this innocent face so far? He was sure it was not a
small number. He was almost possessed for a moment.
The thought that he drank the potion and turned into a beast made him chuckle.
It was just that the last time the Marquis was here visiting Julia, Sezak* overheard the
conversation between the Marquis and Julia. (*I’m not sure if the servant or who that is.)
“Your Highness, Marquis Elody has secretly made contact with the Grand Duchess.
Here, I wrote down part of the conversation.”
Just before the Marquis left Fernan’s office, Sezak quietly handed the note to Fernan.
Speaking of the contents, the Marquis told Julia to use the medicine on Fernan and Julia
replied that she would use the medicine in the near future.
After reading the letter, Fernan immediately sent people to the castle and ordered them to
search every nook and cranny in Julia’s room.
And as soon as they came back from the Grand Duke’s castle, they found a bottle and letters
in Julia’s room.
This medicine was normally used by those who lacked so-called sexual functions, but it was
mixed with ingredients like hallucinogens and was secretly distributed even among some
nobles.
It was not just a drug that simply ended at the level of raising one’s desire.
“I, I never meant to use the drug. I was going to throw it away right away..”
He slowly tilted his hand and poured the contents down her feet, wetting Julia’s dress. The
bottom of her white dress was now completely wet.
“The important thing is that I have no reason to respect you any more.”
Julia’s eyes gradually turned red as she looked down at her dress.
Looking at her coldly, Fernan threw away the empty medicine bottle on the floor.
Flinching at the sharp sound, Julia’s lips quivered as she looked up at Fernan.
“Your Highness…”
Fernan ignored her words and walked away. With a violent crash of the door, his figure
disappeared completely.
***
“Why does she keep coming when she’s going to be ignored anyway?”
Julia ignored the whispering servants and entered the main hall.
For days now, she had been waiting for Fernan to make his appearance.
Fernan had thoroughly ignored her and refused to listen, yet Julia had made a great effort
to attempt to talk.
“Your Highness.”
Entering the lobby, Fernan walked mindlessly past the servants as he always did. He then
walked past Julia, who was standing at the far end.
Suddenly Julia grabbed his hand, Fernan finally stopped and looked at her with a cold stare.
Holding one of his hands firmly in both of hers, Julia looked up at him with a limp face.
“Didn’t I tell you? You should refrain from visiting me like this in the morning.”
“…”
“I don’t have any respect for you, so don’t play tricks and just stay in your bedroom.”
Julia looked at him nonchalantly, but she couldn’t hide her trembling hands.
All the servants were watching the scene with great interest.
It was already well known among the servants that Fernan was not very fond of his wife.
But, they didn’t think he disliked her to this extent. The look in Fernand’s eyes towards my
wife was not just cold but brutal.
“If you wanted to make me feel bad in the morning, you succeeded.”
Julia watched him as he walked out the doorway, her hand still remained flinching. The
small murmur of the servants stuck in her ears.They glanced at Julia, then quickly scattered
in all directions.
Standing alone in the instantly silent lobby, Julia turned away with an indifferent look on
her face.
There was no time to be hurt and shrivel up. She looked back at the vow she had made so
many times in her mind. The vow that she would fulfill her duty and try to be as useful to
Fernan as possible. She didn’t know when Fernan would forgive her, but she was willing to
try anything.
‘First, I can read the ledgers, then I can look around the castle to see if there’s anything that
needs to be repaired, and if there is still too much time, I’ll go to ….’
After Melissa wiped her eyes, Julia blinked slowly. The situation seemed unreal as if the
world had somehow floated away.
Melissa was soothing her, but Julia’s tears kept streaming down.
“Thank you, Melissa. I’m fine. You can go and do your thing.”
This much was worth enduring. She didn’t even know why she was suddenly crying.
“I’ll have a proper dialogue with him and everything will be better after some time.”
She believed in the goodwill he had shown her, even if it was only for a short time. She
believed that he still had the heart that cared about her and made time for her.
She might have finally gotten her senses back, but she couldn’t move her feet easily.
Julia persisted in climbing the remaining steps. At that moment, the cruel words that the
Marchioness had been telling her habitually flashed past her ears.
“I want you to have no illusions that your life will change just because you became a
Grand Duchess. No matter how much you hide the fact that you’re an illegitimate child,
you can’t hide your lowly roots.”
‘You can’t dream of happiness when you’re a lowly person, can you?’
Julia shook her head, trying to muffle the tears that constantly covered her eyes and the evil
mixture of voices that entered her ears.
She repeated as if brainwashing herself and bit her lip so hard that blood oozed from it.
Chapter 9
***
Fernan did not return to the castle much any more.
He was away often but always came back. However, this time, he stayed out longer. The
servants began to whisper that Julia was the reason he had not returned.
Julia’s heart fell endlessly amidst all the negativity surrounding her.
But she had no idea how to untangle the intricate knot between Fernan and her.
Melissa looked around at the clothes in the dressing room while all Julia could do was sigh.
“Then it’d be better to wear a dress that is a little shorter in length. There’s always the
possibility of getting dirt on your dress!”
Julia looked at Melissa and struggled to lift her lips. Melissa was the only person in this
castle who was kind to her.
Whenever she was feeling down, Melissa would act lively and relieve her mood.
If it hadn’t been for Melissa, there would have been no one to force her to laugh or interact
with in this big castle.
Julia nodded and headed for the backyard of the main castle. Lately she had been trying to
work up to a busy routine of her own.
Sitting still was causing her to feel endlessly depressed, so she was desperately trying to
find something to do.
Winter was approaching soon, so it was somewhat impossible to plant new plants and
trees. Preoccupied, Julia returned to the castle and called her butler, Bennett.
“What do you think about repairing the land and building a greenhouse?”
Until now, Bennett had been in charge of all the internal and external affairs of the Grand
Duke’s castle. This was because they didn’t have a Grand Duchess then.
Fernan was not very interested in the management of the castle, so he left all the authority
to Bennett.
But now that he had a wife, that authority naturally had to revert to Julia.
But for some reason, Bennett hadn’t given her the power of internal affairs.
However, Julia was going to fulfill her duty as a hostess. She wanted to do her part in
whatever way she could.
“Well, the cost of the repair that’s going to go in right now, and it’ll cost a lot of money to
hire people.”
He, who had been managing the castle with his own iron rules, seemed unhappy with Julia’s
words.
“I checked the books just in case. The cost of maintaining the castle is very high every year.”
“The garden is sometimes used as a training ground for knights. You can’t just repair it,
Your Highness.”
Julia couldn’t hide her panicked eyes as he cut her off at once.
However, she quickly gave a sharp look and nodded her head.
“I didn’t know that.Then the ground is too barren to look at, we can work on flattening and
organizing it to make it easier for training…..”
“Huh…did you get permission from His Highness the Grand Duke?”
Bennett interrupted her, lifting his glasses without hesitation. It was somewhat
disrespectful for a superior.
Even if she was not in favor, Julia was still the master of this castle.
Just because Fernan had been cold to her, it didn’t mean that her position would disappear.
“I’ve heard that you’ve been in charge of the entire integrity of the castle. That’s why I
thought I’d discuss it with you, but do I need to mention it separately to Your Highness as
well?”
If she was another noblewoman, she would punch him in the face right now, but Julia tried
to placate Bennett in a calm tone.
He was the one who had managed this castle for a long time. So it was right to respect him.
“As you said, the management of the castle is under my jurisdiction, but His Highness said
you’re stubborn so you’ll need his permission.”
Julia couldn’t even blink her eyes at his harsh reply and mumbled in a daze.
“I’m sorry, Your Grace. I’m afraid I’ll have to discuss this separately with His Highness at a
later date. I’ll leave you to it then, as I’m behind on other tasks.”
Bennett greeted her politely and then disappeared elsewhere. Julia watched Bennett’s back
with a puzzled expression.
She wasn’t hurt by Bennett’s attitude, but she was certain he was rude. In fact, it wasn’t just
Bennett.
The attitudes of the other servants also began to change significantly from one moment to
the next.
“She’s been pretty busy lately. I hope His Highness will notice.”
“What’s the use? It’s already been half a month since His Highness’ return. I don’t know if
it’s her fault but she walks around so shamelessly ….”
The whispering continued endlessly, as if they thought Julia couldn’t hear them.
The word ‘mistress’ penetrated her ears. The giggling and every word spewed out
maliciously continued to stab at her heart.
At this moment, the chaotic atmosphere surrounding her reminded her of her past. It was a
lonely place where not a single person was on her side. It was a place full of people who
condemned her no matter what she did.
Julia kept her mouth shut and walked in silence. She was used to being treated like this. But
still, she couldn’t help but feel choked up.
***
“Your Highness, it’s been a while. Why don’t you go back to the castle now?”
Lloyd carefully opened his mouth, reading Fernan’s countenance. Due to Fernan, who has
been working too hard recently, the eyes of his subordinates who suffered from overwork
were also dark.
Along with the preparations for the National festival, the demon invasion at the border had
taken up much time.
Recently, even the security in the territory had become hideous, so there were many things
to pay attention to.
Turning away with an embarrassed look on his face, Lloyd returned to his seat. Another
long night was waiting.
“Oh, yes. We are still investigating. It’s going to take some time, but we should be able to
work out a list and breakdown of the transactions soon.”
“Marquis Elody and the others involved will be traced, and we will find everything behind
them.”
“Yes.”
The drug found in Julia’s room recently was distributed through illegal trade.
An organization that traffic in strong aphrodisiacs that circulate in the Red Lantern District,
along with hallucinogenic drugs.
Many aristocrats secretly used the organization, including, of course, Marquis Elody.
Fernan intended to root out the traffickers altogether. So the Marquis wouldn’t be able to
get away with it.
“The Marquis seemed to be in quite a hurry. How in the world could he be so confident that
he won’t be caught?”
“He knows very well for himself that he’s a card that can be discarded at any time.”
Fernand gave an insignificant answer. As he said, the Marquis was just one of the many
cards the Emperor had.
It was a card that the emperor had attached to Fernan in order to pressure him. However, if
the Marquis was not careful, the Emperor would discard him and bring in another one. So
the Marquis will have no choice but to do such crazy things without any hesitation. If this
marriage goes wrong, it would be a great dismay to his family.
“It seems that His Majesty is also cooperating with the Marquis, so it would be better to
keep a close eye on her.”
When Lloyd mentioned Julia, Fernan’s numb face turned cold in a flash.
So far she had tried desperately to engage Fernan in a conversation to soothe the situation.
His nerves only grew worse every time he saw her constantly hovering near him, whether
she was there or not.
Distracted from his thoughts, Fernan lowered his eyes to the documents again. But the
woman’s face, once it flooded his mind, did not disappear as quickly as he would have liked.
As Julia’s watery blue eyes came to mind, Fernan eventually put down the document aloud.
He did not deny that he was momentarily shaken by the woman. He was clearly swept
away by the pity, sympathy, and maybe even more trivial emotions he felt when he looked
at her.
This made him even angrier. He felt such ridiculous emotions for a woman who had
nothing to fear since she had the Marquis and Emperor on her back.
And the funny thing was that those subtle feelings were still stuck in a corner of his nerves.
The delicate hand that held him wistfully as he left the castle the other day. The look in her
eyes as she looked at him as if to say, “Please understand me.”
Fernan ruffled his neatly trimmed hair. Then his expression hardened even more coldly, as
if he had been forced to block out all thoughts.
Chapter 10
“Melissa, tell me… when will he be back?”
Julia asked Melissa nonchalantly as she was working on her hair. Melissa was silent with a
troubled look on her face.
“I guess he has a lot of work to do. He always returns late when he’s busy.”
Julia let out a small sigh. It’s been almost two months since he left. No matter how much she
thought about it, Julia couldn’t get rid of the idea that the reason he hadn’t come back for
such a long time was because of her.
Julia replied grimly. After Bennett’s quick rejection of the garden repair, she was unable to
find anything more to do.
And there was no one to invite to tea parties and social gatherings.
This was because Julia never went to social gatherings before her marriage, and none of
them were close to her.
Most of all, she felt that Fernan might not like it if she spent money to organize a social
party without permission.
So all she could do was to read a book in the study or take a walk around the castle.
“Instead of doing that, why don’t you go out with me to the city? You’ve never been around
the territory before.”
True to Melissa’s word, Julia had never properly walked around the estate since they were
married.
“I like it, but… Melissa, don’t you have a lot of work to do?”
“Eh, serving the Grand Duchess is more important than anything else.”
Melissa finished grooming Julia’s hair with a bright smile. Her hair, loosely braided on both
sides and gathered into a single bun, looked good on Julia.
Julia gave a small smile as she watched Melissa leave the room. She was grateful to Melissa
for trying to make her feel better.
It was the first time Julia had ever left the castle. The carriage was headed for the biggest
shopping district in the territory.
Eventually, the carriage came to a stop. As she slowly stepped outside, the first thing she
saw was the clock tower in the center.
A large fountain was placed around it, and the city was crowded with people sitting on
benches and waves of moving people.
Julia took a deep breath. Just going out like this made her feel lighter.
Julia pondered for a while, then pointed to a street lined with markets.
“Okay!”
Melissa grabbed her hand. Julia’s eyes filled with warmth as she stared at her linked hands.
She had never gone out with a friend before, but this way she felt like she was hanging out
with a friend. After walking around for a while, Julia saw a small flower shop. She paused
for a moment. Then she stared at the neatly arranged flowers in front of the store.
She smiled a little as she kept looking at the lilies on one side.
Her biological mother was the daughter of a merchant who owned a flower shop. Perhaps
that was why she was particularly fond of flowers from an early age.
She lived with her mother until she was about seven years old, but she could hardly
remember anything from that time anymore. The one thing she did remember clearly was
this lily flower.
“Someday, when you get married, I will make you a bouquet of lilies.”
All the other memories were dim, but the words whispered to her in a gentle voice
remained clear even after a long time.
Melissa, who had been watching the pensive Julia, asked her carefully.
Melissa’s momentum pushed Julia into the flower shop, and Julia eventually came out with
an armful of flowers.
Not stopping there, Melissa quickly led Julia to the other places. When she saw Melissa
enjoying herself like a child, she naturally burst into laughter.
Every time she walked past a street vendor, the words of the merchants touting their goods
were difficult to pass. After purchasing this and that under the influence of words, there
were no hands left. Melissa, with her hands full of bags, sighed and complained.
While she was struggling with Melissa, a wagon approached from the front.
They hastily ducked inside, but the merchant standing next to the wagon blatantly bumped
Melissa, who was standing outside.
“Ah!”
Dropping all of her bags, Melissa hugged her shoulder. She frowned as if she got hit hard.
Melissa whimpered as she saw the items on the floor. Julia carefully raised Melissa’s arm.
The merchant laughed as he patted the back of his neck. A terrible smell of alcohol wafted
from him.
While Julia, sensing resistance, retreated to the side, the merchant popped the wall that
was placed behind her.
The merchant, who had forcibly blocked the way, continued deftly.
“I’ll make it up to you, will you follow me? Just walk through this alley and you’ll find our
store.”
Just as Julia was about to run the other way, the merchant grabbed her wrist firmly with
force.
Julia’s face turned pale from the smell of alcohol, and she shook off the merchant’s arm with
all her strength, but to no avail.
Melissa, who had been scared even from a short distance away, gritted her teeth and
grabbed the merchant’s arm.
A loud noise caused the people who finally noticed the coercive atmosphere and turned
their attention to them with a buzz. The merchant, conscious of their gaze, carelessly threw
out Julia’s hand. As a result, Julia fell to the floor.
“Is it wrong to ignore people when they are trying to show their sincerity with a good
heart?”
The merchant clicked his tongue and staggered away, approaching the wagon.
And at that moment, a person of the security forces, who rushed to the scene after finding
the commotion, stood in front of the merchant.
After confirming it was a knight, Julia’s nerves were released and she gasped for breath,
holding her shaking hands.
As she did so, someone kicked the merchant and made him kneel down. The merchant’s
head hit the floor as he moaned.
“Kuh-hah!”
Julia’s eyes gradually grew bigger as she saw an intimidating man with a sword pointed at
the merchant’s neck.
“Your Highness…?”
His second-in-command, Lloyd, hurried closer while Fernan looked down at Julia with
narrowed eyes.
Lloyd, who was about to report something, opened his eyes wide when he saw the fallen
Julia.
Fernan didn’t respond to Lloyd’s words, but kept his eyes on Julia.
Julia answered honestly as she tried to sit up. Her ankle was sprained and she couldn’t
stand up.
She was still hurt from the fall, but seeing his face she felt relieved.
Fernan’s eyes narrowed at her words. Julia slumped her shoulders, but continued her
words to the end.
Fernan, who looked down at her without answering, eventually gave out a small laugh.
Not only she said she was worried, she also had a painful look in her eyes in this whirlwind.
Fernan, his forehead crumbled clearly, tried to say something more, but he closed his
mouth softly.
Then he looked at Julia for a moment, and then coldly turned away.
Returning to the knights’ place, Lloyd, who was quietly watching at his side, held out his
hand to Julia.
What is it that makes him leave a fallen person behind like this? Lloyd clicked his tongue at
the cruelty of his master.
“I see…”
Seeing her sullen, Lloyd somehow felt guilty. He gave an awkward nod, scratching his
cheek.
Once the commotion died down, the town became quiet again.
Melissa, who had been looking at Julia from afar, finally approached her in a hurry. She
hurriedly rolled up Julia’s sleeves, revealing her red, swollen wrist.
“Oh, what should I do? You will surely get bruised… Is your ankle okay? Can you walk?”
All of the items she bought in her excitement a while ago were lying on the floor.
Melissa hurriedly picked up the fallen items. Julia limped over to pick up a bouquet of
flowers, but at that moment, people walked past her, stepping on the flowers in vain.
Then she averted her gaze, unable to hide her sad face.
***
Julia sighed as she looked at the bandages wrapped around her ankle. Not only her ankle,
but her wrist was bruised with blue color.
It had been a few days since they went downtown, and these wounds had gotten deeper
and deeper.
There was no decent place for both hands and feet, so it was impossible to move.
Julia sat in her chair and looked out the window in a daze. Her mind felt empty.
How long did she sit like that?
Suddenly someone opened the door and hurried inside. It was Melissa.
With her eyes wide opened, Julia rose from her seat.
Slightly relieved that Fernan had returned, she stepped out into the hallway, assisted by
Melissa.
As she stood on the railing and looked down at the hall, she saw Fernan entering the
entrance.
He walked quickly past the hall and climbed the stairs in a single bound. Julia stood at the
end of the stairs and greeted him.
“Your Highness.”
He walked past Julia without a second thought. It was as if she was invisible.
However, her injured leg could hardly keep up with his stride.
After a while, Julia finally arrived at his room and hesitantly knocked on the door.
She knocked several times, but after a while, she did not hear any response from inside.
Eventually, Julia let out a small sigh as she slowly backed away.
“Ha…”
The pain came rushing in all at once, probably because she had forced herself to use her
ankle.
She leaned against the wall and crouched down, gently patting her ankle.
She didn’t have the strength to stand up. Julia sat like that for a while, with her head resting
against the wall.
After some time like that, she finally heard the sound of the door opening.
Julia leaned her head back and her eyes met Fernan’s, who was staring at her.
Julia hurriedly stood up. She grabbed Fernan’s hand, afraid that he would leave again.
The momentum was a little frightening, but Julia couldn’t let go of his hand.
At that moment, the pain that penetrated her wrist made Julia scream involuntarily.
“Ah!”
Frowning, Fernan reflexively averted his gaze. Then he stared at the bright blue bruise on
her wrist.
His eyes flinched subtly for a moment, but they didn’t last long.
Immediately he relentlessly turned away again and walked down the hallway.
Julia tried to keep up with him as he moved away, but soon fell down.
A sobbing sound escaped her as she forced herself to walk and her ankle seemed to break.
“Hic…hic….”
She couldn’t move any further because of the pain. She was so sad that she had to follow
him but things weren’t going the way she wanted them to.
Her tears were about to burst out, but Julia put pressure on her brow and tried to hold back
her tears.
She heard a muffled whisper. Lifting her head, Fernan was back before she knew it,
standing there biting his lip.
He bent toward her, who was slumped over. He stiffly picked her up.
The position of his embrace brought his face closer to hers. Julia looked at him, her eyes
moistening.
She thought he left her mercilessly, so she couldn’t help but wonder why he came back
again.
But his touch was warmer than she expected, and the hands that held her were careful. The
close gap between them was unfamiliar but pleasing without speed.
Julia opened her mouth again as her heart raced and she caught her breath.
“…I have never once thought of harming Your Highness. I’m sure I never will.”
“…”
“That aphrodisiac back then…It’s my mistake. Your Highness was right to misunderstand…”
“…”
“If you want to know the reason for my attitude, I’ll tell you.”
Fernand looked at her with emotionless eyes.
“…I did not want to have you as my wife from the beginning. That’s my reason.”
Fernan’s words pierced her heart. Julia, who was staring at him endlessly, eventually
dropped her eyes.
The pain was worse than when she was beaten and cursed.
“…”
Julia raised her eyes again and made eye contact with him. Her tearful voice continued.
“I love you and I don’t want to be far away. I don’t want to get hurt.”
Julia raised a trembling hand and brought it to his face. However, the hand that failed to
reach him hovered vaguely in the air.
She always wanted to touch him. She wanted to look him in the eye at such a close distance
and talk softly to him.
He was the kind man who held out his hand to her like a light in a dark room long ago. The
gentle voice that told her not to cry because he would be with her.
From the moment she met him again, she fell in love with him all over again, vainly.
She loved this strong man who seemed to fear nothing. She liked that he seemed to be from
a world so different from hers.
And even though he hurt her so much, Julia couldn’t hate him very much. Even if it was
stupid and pathetic, she couldn’t help but fell for him.
Fernan looked down at her for a moment with an unknown expression. Then he quickly
shifted his gaze and trudged on.
Fernan walked past the hallway and into her room, where he set her down on the bed and
quickly turned away.
Her heart ached again at the sight of his back, which she had seen enough of.
Chapter 12
Julia sat alone in the large carriage and looked out the window.
The celebration of the Nation Establishment would be held in three days, and Julia was on
her way to the capital early at the call of the Empress.
Lately, the Grand Duchy has been cumbersome due to the demons that have invaded its
borders.
Fernan’s journey to the capital was somewhat delayed, and Julia could not go with him.
Julia’s eyes gleamed sadly as she stared at the empty seat in front of her.
After such a long time, Julia arrived at the Imperial Palace and was led inside by a servant.
When she entered the reception room of the Central Palace, the Empress, who was sitting
there beforehand, greeted her with a bright smile.
Julia sat down at the tea table and faced the Empress. Unlike the emperor, who seemed
somewhat uncomfortable, the Empress was a person who made others feel at ease.
The Crown Princess, who was also present, was a honest and compassionate person, so
Julia quickly adapted to the occasion.
“By the way, I am concerned that the Grand Duchess seems to be thinner than the last time
I saw her.”
Veronica, the Crown Princess, opened her mouth cautiously. Julia tried her best to smile.
“My health hasn’t been good lately. But It’s nothing to worry about.”
Veronica smiled softly. She was wearing a loose maternity dress with her dazzling blonde
hair hanging to one side.
She was in her fifth month of pregnancy, and her face was bright and full of happy spirit.
“How about you and Veronica join me for evening mass? At present, there are priests
staying at the Imperial Palace to pray for pregnant women.”
The Empress spoke softly, and Veronica nodded, clapping her hands.
“Do so! I will ask the priest to bless the Grand Duchess’ health.”
“No, I can’t bother the priests who came for the Crown Princess.”
“Don’t even think about it. You are also a member of our imperial family.”
The Empress smiled benevolently and recommended it again. Eventually, Julia nodded and
thanked her. The small tea party continued in a peaceful and harmonious atmosphere.
This was the only time that Julia, who had fallen into a serious depression at the Duke’s
mansion, was able to put her mind at ease.
In the evening, Julia went with Veronica to the temple for mass. Once they were inside, the
priests were seen kneeling on the podium.
They were glowing from the sunlight permeated through the stained glass windows .
“Priest Matheus.”
Veronica quietly called the priest. The man sitting in the middle of the priests slowly turned
his head. He had silver hair, almost white.
He looked at Veronica for a moment, then quickly turned his gaze toward Julia.
“This is Grand Duchess Caesar. I brought her here to attend Mass with me.”
“I see.”
He looked at Julia with a deep gaze and quickly changed his words lightly.
Sitting in a long row of seats, Julia watched the priests draw the cross sign. Soon the priests
stood in front of the altar and proceeded with the beginning ritual.
Julia stared quietly at Matheus as he delivered the lecture. His voice was gentle and serious,
soothing.
When Matheus recited a prayer for the rite, a priest brought a silverware containing holy
water.
“May peace and stability be with the mother and unborn child.”
Matheus raised his hand over Veronica’s head and sprinkled the holy water.
He recited the congratulatory text in a quiet tone, and slowly opened his eyes. He then
nodded to Julia to tell her to come forward.
The holy water flowed down along Julia’s hair. Apparently, his voice seemed to seep slowly
into her heart.
Somehow Matheus seemed to know her. But no matter how much Julia thought about it,
her encounter with him did not exist in her memory.
***
Fernan arrived in the capital in time for the day of the festival.
The Emperor’s parade in the morning was eventually escorted by the Imperial Knights.
After the parade was safely over, the attendants hurriedly prepared for the banquet in the
Central Palace. Hearing the news that Fernan had arrived, Julia hurried down to the main
hall on the first floor.
She was dressed in a dark green dress, and the people kept glancing at her.
The elegant dress with dark gold lace decorating the neckline
made her look even more stunning than usual.
While Julia was loitering in the hall for a while, someone called out to her. She met him
downtown the other day.
“I’ve come to deliver His Highness’ message. He said you can go to the banquet hall first as
he’s running late.”
“Oh… I see.”
It was customary for a couple to enter the banquet hall together. Julia, who had naturally
expected to enter with Fernan, felt a little lost.
She thought about waiting, but he certainly would not want her to wait.
Julia hesitated for a moment . This was because she did not know the name of the aide.
Noticing this, Lloyd belatedly made a formal greeting and politely introduced himself.
Smiling softly, Julia quickly made her way to the palace where the banquet hall was located.
Following an attendant’s directions, Julia entered the banquet hall alone and stood in front
of an empty table.
Some of the ladies who found her approached with a friendly smile.
“Grand Duchess, how are you? I haven’t seen you since the last tea party.”
Veronica gently held her swollen belly as she was escorted by the Crown Prince.
“I heard the Crown Prince is very sweet. They were like that since the beginning of thier
marriage.”
“Oh, what are you talking about? You husband is as sweet as honey.”
As the ladies began to joke about their husbands, Julia had nothing to say. She wondered
how they could be so close to each other when they had all met in political marriages. Far
from being intimate with Fernan, they had never had a friendly conversation.
“Eh?”
“Both of you don’t come the capital often, so I’m really curious to know how you’re doing.”
The noblewomen looked at her with curiosity. Smiling awkwardly, Julia spoke carefully.
“His Highness is very busy. And I’m a little lonely because there aren’t any ladies in the
estate to hang out with. But I’m doing well in my own way.”
She replied in a roundabout way, and fortunately the noblewomen nodded and chimed in.
“That’s right. It must be hard to invite all the people you know in the capital.”
“But you’ll invite us at least once, right? I’d be very happy if the Grand Dcuhess would call
me.”
“Yes, I will.”
The conversation quickly returned to a different direction. Only then did Julia, who was
taking part in the conversation at ease, turned her head at the buzzing voices.
From a distance, she could see Fernan entering the banquet hall. All the people’s gazes
focused on him at once.
Apparently, his appearance attracted more attention than the Crown Prince.
Julia, who was wondering what to do, approached him cautiously after greeting the ladies.
“Your Highness.”
Fernan turned at the sound of a small voice. Julia looked up at him, gently tugging at the
hem of her dress.
When she finally called out to him, Julia felt very frightened. She was afraid that he would
ignore her and go elsewhere.
But perhaps because all the people were looking at him, he did not show his usual cruelty.
Fernan opened his mouth dryly and reached out his arm to her. Staring at him with
surprised eyes for a moment, Julia folded her arm around him.
Looking at his reluctant face, she felt that he had no choice but to act.
It was a bit bitter, but she didn’t feel so bad about being escorted by him. As she headed to
the empty table with him, the Crown Prince, who found them, approached with a bright
smile.
Chapter 13
“I’m sure you’re very busy, but fortunately you had time to attend the banquet.”
Fernan, who looked at the Crown Prince quietly, soon gave a blatant smile.
It was funny to see the Crown Prince so uncomfortable now because he had refused to
escort the emperor in the parade.
The Crown Prince, noticing Fernan’s smile, raised his eyebrows and immediately turned his
attention to Julia.
The Crown Prince once again displayed his good natured smile.
“I was told by Veronica that the Grand Duchess was not in good health. I heard you were
blessed by a priest, are you okay now?”
While Julia was having a more formal conversation with the Crown Prince, Fernan’s
secretly gazed at her ankle.
Then he looked at her slender wrist, and soon looked away as if nothing had happened.
The orchestra, which had been playing fancy tunes, soon began to play a light waltz.
The Crown Prince asked for said goodbye and disappeared to the side of the Crown
Princess.
Soon the banquet hall was divided into two groups: those who went out on stage to dance
and those who sat quietly at tables to listen to the music.
Julia glanced at Fernan. He was not interested in dancing, and was accepting a glass of wine
from his attendant.
While Julia was struggling to think of something to say to him, several socialites
approached Fernan.
“…”
Julia gently touched the glass on the table, keeping her mouth tightly closed as she watched
Fernan respond to the people with a casual explain.
After dealing with the constant stream of nobles, Fernan entered the terrace. There was
less barking and his head finally felt a little more comfortable. After a few moments of
being exposed to the cold breeze while holding onto the railing, he suddenly turned his
head at the sound of the door opening.
A woman in a dark green dress appeared. It was Julia, who came to see him.
Julia approached him with a worried look on her face. Fernan did not reply but looked
forward.
There were many eyes watching him in the banquet hall, but now, out here, things were
different. He didn’t want to pretend to be close to her.
Julia held out the cup in her hand. She watched him continue to drink the wine and
wondered if he had a hangover.
When Fernan didn’t pick up the glass, Julia bowed her head a little sullen.
“You don’t have to drink it… but I’ll leave it here just in case.”
Setting the teacup down on the parapet, Julia hesitated for a moment, not turning away
immediately.
The faint expression of her desire to be with him showed itself. Fernan blinked his eyes
slowly, as if suppressing something, and quickly turned his gaze toward her.
His somber voice dropped to the terrace. Julia’s eyes fluttered with a panicked look.
At the sight of her, Fernan found it hard to bear this emotion that was somehow welling up
in him. But he ignored it.
It would be better if he didn’t have to deal with it, but at this moment, this woman was
bothering him badly.
He felt dizzy again when Julia appeared in his mind that he had been trying to empty.
“…”
Julia raised her clear eyes and looked at him pitifully. He unknowingly gritted his teeth. Her
eyes were always the problem.
The more he acted badly, the more she would get hurt, but those eyes, always shining,
scratched his nerves.
She had just that look in her eyes when she haunted him again with the words ‘I love you’.
Julia’s face went blank at his sharp words.
“Why don’t you worry more about your future than mine? Do you think this marriage will
last forever?”
Her lips trembled as she dropped her gaze with a hurt look on her face, as she was greatly
shocked by his words. Her eyes reddened slightly as she laid them down. For some reason,
Fernan felt his heart tingle at the sight of her.
He knew his words were harsh. There was no need for him to go to such lengths. But
Fernan looked even colder, as if he was trying to hide his upset heart tightly. Meanwhile, a
quiet voice came from Julia, who had her mouth clenched shut.
Julia turned around without even looking at him. The way she was walking with her eyes
down was unstable as if she would collapse at any moment.
Fernan, who flinched unknowingly, tapped his forehead as Julia completely disappeared.
“… d*mn it.”
The commotion that he thought would end when she disappeared was still racking his
brain.
He couldn’t get her out of his mind as she looked down with teary eyes.
He didn’t even think about the throbbing heart that continued to pound.
He gripped the railing tightly and sighed heavily. It was not good to act so emotionally.
After so many years of war, and so many deaths, he was getting better at hiding his true
feelings.
It was not difficult for him to hide his true intentions and smiled in front of the Emperor
and Crown Prince, or the nobles who were vigilantly trying to attack him.
Fernan was in distress when someone suddenly showed signs of being there.
The woman who had been hiding behind a pillar emerged with an embarrassed smile on
her face.
Fernan looked at the woman for a moment, and then averted his gaze again, uninterested.
He knew someone was in there since he first came out the terrace. It wasn’t worth paying
attention to, so he just ignored it.
The woman smiled brightly and approached him. Fernan’s brows furrowed.
Fernan took a quick look at the woman’s appearance. He had never met her before, and
even if he did, he wouldn’t want to remember her.
“Oh, you may not remember because you were young. Well, we haven’t met very often.”
“So what is it you want to tell me?”
Fernan asked back without sincerity, and the slightly faltering woman soon smiled brightly.
“I’m Cornelia of the House of Blair. Do you not remember? Before His Highness went off to
war, there was talk of an engagement.”
It was only when he heard the name of the family that Fernan remembered. The Blair was
one of the families that had once made a match with him.
Originally, the engagement ceremony would have been held after his coming-of-age
ceremony, but since he had to leave for war suddenly by order of the emperor, the
marriage was naturally canceled. It was just that. The woman, however, had a sentimental
look in her eyes, as if it was some kind of fate.
“I’m really glad to see you after all these years. In fact, I’ve been thinking about Your
Highness from time to time lately.”
“By the way, you must hate your wife very much.”
He didn’t know why he had to engage in this conversation. It was all a waste of time.
“From what I heard, it sounds like you and the Grand Duchess will be divorced someday.”
Cornelia brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, her serpentine eyes glinting. A greedy
look. It was a gaze he was very familiar with.
“What do you think? After your divorce, you should make a connection with my family.”
It was only then that Fernan finally frowned indifferently and gave a small sneer, as if he
had heard a dog barking.
Fernan stared at her for a moment, as if he was looking at something worthless, then he left
the terrace.
It must be a big deal for the woman to sell out even her father for saying something like
that.
There had been many women who had approached him like that. All of them did not care
whether he was married or not.
They seemed to take it for granted, since it was a common occurrence among the nobility of
the capital.
However, Fernan was the one who despised such people terribly.
It was not because he was moral or faithful. It was just that such people instinctively made
him want to vomit.
As he stepped out into the banquet hall again, the sound of boisterous music playing
scratched his nerves. At the same time, he could see Julia leaving the banquet hall in the far
distance.
“Ha….”
Fernan was dumbfounded for a while by the fact that she was the first person he saw out of
all these people.
Chapter 14
Julia came out of the banquet hall and walked along the long hallway.
Her body and mind were all exhausted. Walking weakly, she paused at the sudden pain.
Perhaps because of the high shoes, her ankle, which she thought was fully recovered,
suddenly throbbed.
She was standing still sighing, then she heard footsteps in the hallway that followed,
“Uh….”
Julia raised her head and opened her eyes wide. A priest was walking slowly across the
corridor.
He was a priest named Matheus whom she met when she went to Mass with Veronica not
long ago.
“Your Highness.”
Matheus, who stopped and talked to Julia, soon stared at her swollen ankle.
“Oh, yes….”
Julia stared at him with curious eyes. Seeing him in a priest’s uniform at the central palace,
where the banquet was in full swing, somehow felt a little strange.
“I got lost while I was walking. The palace is so spacious and complicated.”
“Oh, I see.”
The priest gets lost too…As she blinked her eyes curiously, Matheus gently knelt down on
one knee.
Julia was perplexed when he suddenly knelt down. Matheus spoke calmly to reassure her.
“I can use my power to heal your injured ankle. I’m confident I can heal you, so you don’t
have to worry.”
“Then… please.”
Matheus held her ankle lightly in one hand. Soon a blue light leaked out and hovered
around his hand.
It felt as if she had dipped her foot in cold water. She could vividly feel the power stinging
her ankle.
Julia moved her ankle a little, and to her surprise, she felt no pain. Julia let out an
exclamation with her eyes wide open.
How could it heal all at once when he just gently squeezed it? After all this time, Matheus in
front of her looked like an amazing man.
Matheus, who was slowly raising his body, gave a small smile and then bowed his head.
Julia suddenly caught him as he was about to turn around as if he had finished his work.
“Yes, go ahead.”
Stopping, Matheus leisurely waited for her to speak. Hesitantly, Julia opened her mouth
cautiously.
“Ah…”
It had been bothering her that he asked her if she knew him during the mass last time. If
she had met such an amazing person in the past, there was no way she wouldn’t remember
him. Matheus paused for a moment and then nodded.
“Yes, but it’s no surprise that you don’t know me.”
“…Why is that?”
He smiled meaningfully as he looked at Julia’s curious eyes. When Julia remained silent and
waited for a reply, Matheus continued in a soft tone.
“…Huh?”
Julia froze in place. Her eyes hovered vaguely around his face.
By all appearances, he looked to be of a similar age to herself, or even younger. How could
he remember her baby self?
Looking at her stiffly, Matheus let out a small laugh. His gentle voice soon followed.
“Some priests, when their divine powers are overloaded, may cease to age in appearance.”
“…..”
“I was fifteen when I first saw you. I hope that was the answer.”
Julia nodded with a puzzled face. He wasn’t as old as she thought, but he didn’t look his age.
Julia, who was watching his face absentmindedly, soon came to her senses.
“Where did you see me, by the way? And how on earth did you notice me….?”
Matheus smiled lazily. And at that moment, there was a commotion from the end of the
corridor.
“I’m sure you’re wondering what’s going on, but I have to go.”
“Ah, yes…”
Julia nodded with lingering eyes. Looking at her gently, Matheus whispered quietly.
“I will tell you one thing. You are a very special person to me. I will always wish you the
best of luck.”
His voice was so warm that it made her chest heave. The sincerity oozed from his words
that he wished her happiness.
Her heart felt empty, as if a bright light had briefly wrapped around her and disappeared.
***
The chaotic festival was over, and there was only silence on the road back to the estate.
Julia looked out the window in a pensive mood. She couldn’t get the encounter with
Matheus out of her mind.
She couldn’t believe he met her when she was just a baby.
Julia hadn’t seen her mother since she left her when she was seven. She had no idea where
her mother lived or even what she did for a living.
The Marquis would occasionally mention her mother and threaten her to “listen very
carefully,” but he didn’t seem to know exactly where she was living either.
Matheus said he would see her again soon, but she had no idea when that would be…
Julia took her gaze off the window and stared at her ankle in a daze. As she lifted her head,
moving her foot for no apparent reason, her eyes met Fernan’s.
Julia got out of the carriage in the dim darkness and immediately went to her bedroom.
There she found a vase of flowers on the table that she had never seen before.
The clear glass vase was filled with white lily flowers.
While wondering, Julia approached the table and put her face close to the vase.
She turned her head to the side and Melissa, who had just come out of cleaning the dressing
room, approached her.
“You seem to like the flowers, but you couldn’t bring them home that day. It bothers me so
much…”
Julia’s eyes widened as she looked at Melissa. She couldn’t believe that she bought flowers
again because she cared about that.
The feeling was gratifying and her heart filled with joy at the moment, but on the other
hand, she felt a little complicated.
It bothered her that she could only say thank you at best. Melissa patted her on the
shoulder.
Melissa didn’t say anything, but she seemed to be comforting her with her warm hand. The
hand seemed to make Julia feel a little better, even though she was exhausted.
***
Time passed quickly after the period of the National Day celebration was over.
The territory, where summer had ended, was chillier than before.
On a morning that was no different from any other, a gilded letter brought by a servant was
placed on the table in front of Julia. The origin of the letter was, of course, Marquis Elody.
“Hmm.”
Julia, who sighed heavily, opened the envelope with an unwilling face.
The content was obvious even without reading it. It contained words asking if there was
any news of her pregnancy, and words pressuring her to have a child as soon as possible.
The aphrodisiac he gave her the other day had completely disrupted her relationship with
Fernan. How could she have a child in this situation?
And aside from all that, Julia didn’t feel like having a baby yet.
‘His Highness doesn’t even want to share a room with me let alone have a baby…’
Julia, who was stroking the stiff paper absentmindedly, immediately rose from her seat.
Trying to call Melissa out of habit, Julia quickly remembered that Melissa had left for
vacation today. She felt very lonely without Melissa, who was the only person she could talk
to by her side.
As it was, Julia came out of the bedroom and walked slowly to the end of the hallway.
There were a total of five study rooms here in the Grand Ducal Palace of Caesar. Julia’s
favorite study was located on the fourth floor.
It was a quiet place where no one came and went except when the servants were cleaning.
The two servants who had just come out from cleaning the study bowed to her.
As Julia nodded and turned to go inside, she heard the servants talking quietly behind her.
She already knew that the servants have been mocking her and laughing at her behind her
back.
Being treated poorly by the master and even ignored by the servants was something she
had experienced many times during her time at the Marquis’ mansion.
They were well aware of the fact that their master would not take any action even though
they bullied her.
Julia also didn’t want to cause any unnecessary noise, so she put up with their whispers as
usual.
With a deep sigh, she chose any book from the bookshelf and sat down at the table.
Immersing herself in the book allowed her to forget all about the reality surrounding her.
Today, Julia was desperately absorbed in the book to calm her emotions.
Time passed quickly. It was around morning when she came to the study, and before she
knew it, the study was dimly lit. Julia got up from her seat, left her books in their original
positions, and approached the door.
Click.
Julia, who turned the doorknob, froze for a moment. It was because the door didn’t open. …
Could it be that the door was locked from the outside? For some reason, Julia had a bad
premonition, and she quickly turned the handle and shouted.
She shouted loudly as she pounded the door harder and harder, but it was quiet outside.
“No one?”
After screaming for a long time, she soon sank into place. Her heart began to beat like crazy.
In the morning, the servants had clearly seen her enter the study.
Moreover, it was still far from lights out, so there was no need to lock the door at this hour.
So the maid deliberately locked the door knowing she was inside.
Julia bit down on her trembling lip and looked out the window, which was completely dark
before she knew it.
If no one came after all the screaming and pounding, they either didn’t really hear her or
they heard her but pretended not knowing.
Melissa wasn’t here, so there was no one to look for her, knowing that she was gone.
“Ha…”
Julia, who curled up with her knees up, held her trembling hands together. The inside of the
study without a fireplace quickly became chilly as the sun set.
After looking at the floor in a daze for a while, a faint expectation suddenly arose from her.
Julia quickly mumbled to herself. Fernan couldn’t care less about her.
He wouldn’t care if she disappeared or escaped, and even if he knew… he was a man who
wouldn’t do anything about it.
Julia nuzzled her face into her lap and let out shaky breaths. Her mind was spinning with
countless thoughts.
After crouching for a long time, Julia raised herself up again. Then she approached the door
and pounded on it until her hand crushed.
It was hard to accept the fact that out of all the people in the castle, no one would listen to
her cries.
Her eyes started to get wet. She didn’t want to cry, but she couldn’t help it.
After a long time she was locked in and scared, Julia suddenly felt comfortable and cozy.
When she finally opened her heavy eyelids, the first thing Julia saw was a tall man.
Even in her blurred vision she could recognize him immediately. The man was Fernan.
“She needs to get plenty of rest. Her body has been injured a lot, but I think it’s the mental
stress that’s the underlying cause.”
There was a mixture of a doctor speaking in a serious tone and Fernan’s voice answering in
between.
Julia closed her eyes again. She did not want to get up.
It was casual, but that voice, which she had always thought was good to hear, did not sound
so pleasant now. Julia closed her eyes and let sleep take over. Her body felt heavy as if it
was being sucked into the bed. Sleep came quickly.
Fernan was still by her side. He was sitting on the chair next to her bed, staring at her.
His voice sounded heavy. After watching him for a while, Julia turned away to the other side
without answering.
Despite her clear intention to turn her back on him, he continued to speak without
faltering.
“…”
Julia lifted her lips helplessly. She didn’t have the strength to resent the blatant lie of a
mistake. She had less and less energy to pursue and question him.
“…”
“What?”
Fernand lifted one eyebrow. Julia turned away, but murmured blithely,
“‘That I may disappear…You want it more than anyone else, don’t you? Then you must be
grateful to those servants.”
Was it because of the medicine? The words began to flow by themselves.
Julia wasn’t trying to say this, but it sounded as if she was questioning him.
If it was a normal day, she would have said thank you for your concern first, but she
couldn’t quite get those words out.
Fernan just kept staring at her in silence. Julia couldn’t tell if he was silent because he
understood her words or because he couldn’t.
After a long silence, Fernan lifted the bowl on the small table.
He presented a soup made of oatmeal. It was freshly made and warm to the touch.
Julia opened her eyes slowly as she accepted the bowl. Suddenly, the situation seemed
unfamiliar to her.
He was expressionless, as usual, but there was no sign of the coldness that he always had.
Call a doctor, treated her, and stayed by her side until she woke up. She didn’t know why he
did all this.
“You said that this marriage will not last forever, and that my heart would not be of the
slightest use to you.”
“…”
“You don’t like me, but what are you doing now? Why are you so generous?”
Fernan was heartless and cruel every moment, but the next moment he was strangely not
cold to her. He kept changing.
Like when she was in his room, or when she chased him down the hall, and now…
“I’m still thinking about the end of this marriage. Still, your heart is of no use to me.”
“And I don’t know why, either. I don’t know why I’m becoming more vulnerable to you
every moment.”
His face saying so was unfamiliar. He looked confused as if he didn’t understand his own
feelings.
Julia felt mixed feelings too, but she didn’t speak to him any further. Without saying a word,
she drank the soup and even took the medicine. Afterwards, Julia finally fell asleep again.
Fernan watched her face for a while as she slept soundly.
The emotions and discomfort that had flared up like a flame whenever he saw her were
gone.
A while later, he came out of the room and called Lloyd, who was standing at the door.
“Lloyd.”
“Yes.”
Julia had told him that no action would be taken against the servants, but he had no
intention of listening to her from the start.
A furry who mocked his master had to pay for it.
Locked in her study all night, Julia was found the next morning. It was Melissa, her
exclusive maid who returned from her vacation that found Julia.
Fernan pursued Melissa and arrested all of the servants, not only the maids who had
caused the incident, but also some of the servants who usually bullied and belittled Julia.
Julia’s small voice rang in his ears. Then, as if something was holding him down, his chest
became heavy.
Julia’s eyes fluttered when she saw the servants bowing politely to her. They were all new
faces.
Melissa whispered quietly beside her. Julia looked at Melissa with a slightly puzzled look on
her face.
Fernan was probably just trying to wrap up the hectic atmosphere. It wasn’t for her.
“But aren’t you cold, Your Grace? I’m not sure if you’re wearing too thin.”
Melissa didn’t want to leave Julia’s side for a long time, blaming herself for what happened
because of her absence.
While walking in the backyard, Julia glanced at the workers gathered in the garden.
Bennett, the butler, who was standing near them, spotted her and bowed his head.
It was strange. The butler told her that she had to get Fernan’s permission to repair the
garden, but now he was working on it.
Julia looked at him for a moment and then averted her gaze, unimpressed.
“I can’t wait to see the garden filled with flowers when spring comes.”
“When spring comes, we can garden together! You can plant lots of lily flowers, your
favorite.”
She wasn’t sure. She wondered if she could stay here until next spring.
Thinking of his indifferent eyes when Fernan said that, Julia was once again immersed in
depression.
She had long known that he hated her, but she didn’t know he was setting an end. Julia
quietly lowered her gaze. This marriage, which may end at any time, felt like a life with a
time limit.
Suddenly, the words that her father used to say came to mind.
“If your marriage with the Grand Duke is broken, you will no longer be my daughter.”
The Marquis thought that Yulia would be frightened by those words, but it was Julia who
rather didn’t want to live as his daughter.
However, she had nothing at all if she lived on her own without the support of the Marquis
family.
Of course, there was no way the Marquis would send her off nicely before that.
As Julia raised her head at Melissa’s words, she heard the sound of bells announcing the
return of the Lord.
She felt a twinge of reluctance, for he had never returned so early in the day.
Fernan would not be pleased, but she could not be ignorant of his return, so Julia turned
around and went back to the castle.
Entering the lobby at a slow pace, Julia stood still and waited for Fernan.
Fernan, who was staring at the front when he walked in, suddenly felt a presence and
turned his gaze to Julia, who was standing to one side.
“Your Highness, you’re here early.”
Fernan looked at Julia with an odd expression. He was about to ask her what on earth she
was sorry for, when he stopped for a moment.
“I told you to stay in the bedroom. Seeing as how you’re walking around happily, it
seems that my words didn’t matter.”
He was silent for a moment, and then quickly walked past Julia.
Fernan, who was climbing the main staircase, stopped at the stairs and frowned.
It was because he didn’t understand why he avoided her as if he was running away a while
ago.
Julia, who had been standing still, walked out the doorway again with her servant.
Fernan couldn’t help but catch the last of her back in his eyes.
Fernan turned around with a confused mind and climbed the remaining stairs.
***
The strange atmosphere continued.
Not only the servants, but also the attitude of Bennett, the butler, had completely changed.
It was around afternoon when Julia, who was heading for the dining room, stopped.
Lately, Bennett had been talking to her and asking her permission, even though it wasn’t a
big deal.
“The garden renovation you mentioned the other day. I think it’ll be done in a month.”
“I see.”
Her response was vague, so Bennett did not hide his impatience.
“The greenhouse will be built soon. You have to choose what to plant, and I think it would
be better for you to choose..”
Julia replied expressionlessly, and took another step forward. She wasn’t interested in
managing the castle anymore.
Perhaps it was the fact that she was locked in the study, the castle itself seemed to have
caused an instinctive repulsion.
Julia stopped again and looked back at Bennett with a curious face.
“I will accept any punishment for my past rudeness. Please forgive me.”
Bennett lowered his head deeply as if he was about to hit the floor. Julia blinked in panic.
She felt like he would just fall over if she left him alone, so Julia answered simply.
Bennett finally raised his head. His face was tinged with relief and fear.
Actually, on the day Julia was locked in the study, Bennett was out for a while.
Bennett had ignored his Master’s wife without a second thought in the past, but he didn’t
expect the other servants to do the same.
Of course, that didn’t mean his fault would go away, so there was no excuse.
He was a master who was not interested in domestic affairs, especially about his wife.
However, with an expressionless face as usual, Fernan ordered a punishment that Bennett
thought was a bit excessive.
All the servants involved in the incident were purged, and even the other servants who had
so blatantly bullied Julia so far disappeared without any words.
Bennett then bowed his head again with a puzzled look on his face.
“The incident that happened to you a few days ago was entirely my fault for failing to
properly educate my servants. The attitude I’ve displayed, I’m sure I encouraged them…”
“…”
“I’m sorry, Your Grace. If you wish to punish me, you can do it.”
Julia looked at Bennett with surprised eyes at his unexpectedly frank answer.
Of course, his tone was sometimes rude, but basically he never deliberately tried to bully
her.
Besides, Bennett was the first person who confessed his mistakes and asked for
forgiveness, so she didn’t want to punish him now.
Leaving Bennett with his head bowed behind, Julia retraced her steps.
As she entered the dining room slowly, Julia unexpectedly saw Fernan was already sitting
there.
Holding the document in his hand, he raised his head and looked at Julia.
Julia, who greeted him like a habit, sat down across from him. It had been quite a while
since she had dined with Fernan.
Immediately the servant placed an appetizer on the table. Holding the tableware, Julia
glanced at Fernan on the other side.
He was always working, whether he was eating or moving. Come to think of it, she had
never seen him rest.
Turning away from the document at her quiet question, Fernan asked back.
Actually, she asked out of concern, but she knew the man would not like it if she answered
that way.
Fernan didn’t reply, so Julia gave up and silently absorbed herself in her meal. The silence
lasted a long time.
Fernan, who was reading a part of the document, clicked his tongue. It was hard to
concentrate when there were so many things to consider.
It wasn’t until Julia appeared in the dining room that he wasn’t able to concentrate.
“I’m sorry to keep bothering you, but I really want to ask you something.”
Julia hesitated for a moment. It was something she had to ask at some point, but it didn’t
just feel good to let it out.
Fernan’s expression hardened for a moment at her words, but slowly returned to normal.
“Well, I don’t trust you, after all, you’re your father’s obedient daughter.”
She had always been soft and reluctant, but when the Marquis was mentioned, she would
freeze.
Fernan couldn’t understand why. Because the Marquis he had seen was a father who truly
cared only for his daughter.
From the very beginning, when the marriage was first arranged, the Marquis used to praise
Julia to the point where he was repulsed.
Not only the Marquis, but also the Emperor and Empress were extremely fond of Julia.
She would have grown up to be quite arrogant, but she didn’t seem to have that side.
Then again, who knows if she’ll get some drugs and try to make him drink.
Fernan gave a small mocking smile. The reminder that she was the daughter of Marquis
Elody seemed to soften his increasingly confused feelings.
Weak or timid, she was the daughter of the Marquis after all. That fact alone has not
changed.
“…”
Julia bowed her head in silence. She didn’t look as hurt as she usually did. It was just a face
that showed signs of being tired of everything.
She didn’t get the answer she wanted from Fernan, but she could tell that he hadn’t
changed his mind about divorcing her with his usual cold words.
Her heart swelled for a moment. Not wanting to continue eating anymore, Julia slowly got
up from her seat.
With her head low, Julia crossed the spacious dining room.
When the servant opened the door, Julia left without hesitation. She didn’t look back to see
the last of Fernan’s expression.
*******
When Julia was sitting on the sofa in front of the fireplace, reading a book, she raised her
head at the sound of a knock on the door.
Melissa, who was arranging her bedding, hurriedly opened the door and found Bennett
standing in front of it.
“A visitor?”
Julia tilted her head. She followed Bennett curiously to the reception room, where the
attendant standing inside greeted her politely.
“Grand Duchess. I am the immediate attendant to Her Imperial Highness the Crown
Princess.”
The servant held out something. It was an envelope with an imperial pattern on it.
Bennett held out the letter opener he had prepared in advance. Julia opened the envelope,
took out the contents, and immediately read the letter.
The sender was Veronica, the Crown Princess. The letter contained a question about her
safety.
And the words that an important guest would be arriving at the Grand Duke’s castle shortly
were added. It did not say who the precious guest was, perhaps as a deliberate attempt to
arouse curiosity. Julia thought of Veronica’s kind face for a while.
Veronica was in the last trimester of her pregnancy and was concentrating on her prenatal
care. She looked very happy as she held her swollen belly by the Crown Prince’s side.
Julia gave a small smile, but the end of it transformed into a somewhat sad one. It was
because her current circumstances were completely opposite from Veronica’s.
Julia tried her best to shake off her thoughts. Then she concentrated on worrying about
who was the guest Veronica was referring to.
But her worries faded, and the guest came to visit the very next day.
***
It was a little late afternoon and Julia was staring blankly at the man in the main hall.
A tall man in a white priest’s uniform greeted her with a friendly smile.
It was Matheus, the priest she had met at the National Celebration Day.
“The guest the Crown Princess mentioned in the letter is you, priest?”
Matheus smiled as she looked at him with a mixture of surprise and happiness.
“After the prayer for Princess Veronica, I stopped by on my way back to the temple.”
Matheus took a leisurely look around. Some of the servants who were standing in the lobby
glanced at him, for his holy appearance seemed somewhat alien to the dark and heavy
airiness of the temple.
Fernan’s return times were different lately, so Julia couldn’t be sure when he would arrive.
The servant who opened the door disappeared to go prepare some refreshments, and then
Julia opened her mouth.
“There were many words I wanted to hear from you, priest. I did not expect to see you like
this.”
“The Crown Princess is very worried about you. She was concerned about your pale
complexion the other day. So she asked me to stop by the castle and pray for Lady Julia.”
“…I see.”
Veronica’s warmth was fully felt, and Julia had a faint smile appear on her lips.
“You said you had many questions for me. I will answer everything sincerely.”
Matheus’ relaxed voice descended. Julia asked one question at a time, feeling his relaxed
demeanor calm her down as well.
“‘The Temple of Ilion. It’s not too far from Caesar’s territory.”
Matheus traveled throughout the empire and was asked by the imperial family to stay at
the imperial palace for a while. He was a capable and trusted priest.
Julia calmly organized her thoughts. She wasn’t sure what to ask first.
Matheus reached out his hand to her. Julia looked at his hand absentmindedly and held it as
if possessed.
She could instinctively feel his divine power flowing through her hand.
Julia took a deep breath as she felt the power flowing along her entire body. My wild heart
slowly began to return to its normal speed.
“You were the first life I saved with this holy power.”
Once upon a time, Matheus, a novice priest in a small temple, saw a young woman who
came alone to pray every night.
She was always crying, and sometimes she would laugh with her hand wrapped around her
stomach.
Young Matheus watched her every day, and from a certain moment he would wait for her
to come.
“One day, a midwife and a doctor rushed to visit the temple. They said the pregnant woman
had fainted and there was nothing they could do to help her.”
They visited the priest as a last resort, but of all people, only a young novice priest was in
the monastery that day. Matheus rushed to her house, but was unable to give any help.
“All I could do was pray, so I prayed with all my heart. Please help the woman in labor and
the child.”
After Matheus took a moment to catch his breath, he continued his story.
“And that day, God made me realize the holy power that was latent in me.”
Matheus transferred some of the enlightened power into the woman’s belly, and she woke
up safely and gave birth to a child.
The heart of the newborn child was filled with the holy power of Matheus.
“The first blessing I gave as a priest was that the child would grow up happier than anyone
else.”
She raised her hand and brought it to her chest, feeling her heart pounding as she
answered,
“I…”
He averted his gaze and looked at the window. Then he slowly opened his mouth again.
“…”
His story was so so amazing that it was hard to believe, but unlike the complexity of her
mind, her heart was calm.
She could instinctively know. That thanks to the holy power that resides in her heart, she
could regain stability if he was by her side.
“I…”
Just as Julia was about to open her mouth, someone opened the door without knocking.
When she turned to look, she saw Fernan was standing there, having just returned to the
castle.
Chapter 18
Fernan looked at Julia with an expressionless face and then quickly turned his attention to
Matheus. Matheus rose from his seat and greeted him.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, My Lord. I am Matheus, priest of the Temple of Ilion.”
“I was told that the Crown Princess sent you. What is it for?”
Approaching them without hesitation, Fernan took a seat and tilted his head. Matheus
smiled lightly and replied.
“The Crown Princess, concerned for the safety of Lady Julia, asked me to visit the Duke’s
castle.”
Fernan’s gaze turned to Julia. She was staring into space like someone lost in thought.
Fernan, who had been staring at Julia, opened his mouth without hesitation.
“Do so.”
As Fernan’s reply fell, Julia suddenly looked at him. Their eyes met, but she did not react
much and spoke to Matheus.
“I will show you the room where you will stay after dinner.”
“Thank you.”
Matheus smiled softly. Julia also looked at him, her lips raised faintly.
***
After Matheus had left the castle, Julia was often absent-minded.
The pendant, engraved with a blue gemstone, was given to her by Matheus before he left.
The pendant contained part of Matheus’ power. Julia put the pendant in a drawer.
She checked her pocket watch and quickly left the bedroom. Then she stood in front of the
railing and looked down at the main hall on the first floor.
She had long ago stopped standing by the servants to see him off in person. She didn’t want
to get a scornful look from him again.
So she was content to look at him, even if it was just for a moment.
‘I’m a fool.’
For a time she thought they would have many days together and she tried to change his
mind, but it was useless now.
‘I love him, but I know that I can’t keep this heart for long.’
However, Julia was not ready to give up on even seeing him from afar.
Walking down the corridor with a weak gait, Julia turned around at the sound of a voice
calling her.
Melissa, who had brought one of the letters with her, stopped in front of her.
Julia stared at the letter Melissa held out to her, and immediately accepted it.
Returning to her bedroom, she sat down in front of the table and left the letter unopened.
Even if she didn’t open it and read it, the contents were already known. For the Marquis
sent her letters with the same content every day.
Julia sighed deeply as she clutched her eyes with her slender hands.
Fernan said he didn’t want her heart. He never wanted her as a wife. He thought about
ending this marriage and kept pushing her away.
However, her father told her to keep Fernan around somehow. He urged her to make
babies and make this marriage more solid….
Julia bit her soft lip and bowed her head. She felt like her head was going to crack.
***
In the end, Julia didn’t answer the Marquis’s letter as she always did.
Since then, all the letters that arrived every day piled up on one side, and she pretended not
to see them. If no reply from her, the Marquis might come to the castle and get mad at her.
But Julia didn’t want to bother with these letters any longer.
She turned off her thoughts and tried to read a book, then she suddenly looked out the
window. Autumn was almost over already.
As time went on, she had no idea when she would be driven out of this castle. Fernan didn’t
say anything. He was just busy as usual, and it was hard to even see him. So Julia decided to
make the best of the situation and take it easy.
It was just after noon when she took a walk around the castle.
After looking up at the sky for a while in the faint sunlight, she suddenly heard a loud noise.
As she turned, Julia saw Bennett fumbling around near the stable.
Julia was just passing by the road, so without thinking she spoke to Bennett.
“I received a letter addressed to His Highness the Grand Duke, and it seems to be urgent.”
Julia’s eyes grew wide as she stared at the letter in Bennett’s hands.
It was because the front of the envelope was sealed with the pattern of the Marquis of
Elody.
“I don’t know, but the servant who brought the letter said it was urgent and said to give it
to His Highness immediately.”
Julia had a bad feeling. She looked serious and averted her gaze, then quickly held out her
hand.
Bennett seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then gave her the letter.
Soon the horseman, whom Bennett had called, was pulling the carriage over.
Since she was already dressed in her outdoor clothes, Julia made no special preparations
and got into the carriage immediately.
Bennett saw her off, and the carriage began to drive away.
Julia stared at the window with anxious eyes. She couldn’t sit still seeing the letter was sent
to Fernan from her father.
Julia hadn’t replied to any of the Marquis’ letters, and now he sent it to Fernan instead…
Julia clasped her hands together. She didn’t know what exactly, but she had a feeling that it
definitely wasn’t a good thing.
She worried that her father might try to give Fernan the drug like he gave her last time.
She thought she would feel better if she went directly to Fernan and asked him about the
letter. She didn’t want to create any more misunderstandings with him.
Before she knew it, she reached the destination and the horseman opened the door.
Julia got out of the carriage and briefly scanned the exterior of the large mansion.
It was only today that she learned that Fernan had a separate mansion. She was dubious
about it, but she needed to speak to him first.
The moment she reached the gate, Julia bumped into someone who was walking out of the
mansion.
“Ah!”
Julia was about to apologize, but paused. The person who came out of Fernan’s private
mansion was someone she knew.
A woman with her red hair down gracefully. It was Cornelia, Duke Blair’s daughter.
Julia remembered her from the day of the banquet, when she talked to the noble ladies and
they greeted each other briefly.
Julia froze in place and stared at the gate of the mansion Cornelia just walked out. Why
would Lady Blair come out of Fernan’s mansion? When Julia herself only found out today
that Fernan had a separate residence…
Julia asked back in a hard tone, and Cornelia leaned her back against the large gate.
She stared at Julia, her gaze filled with interest and mockery.
“On the day of the Founding Festival banquet, I heard the conversation between His
Highness and the Grand Duchess.”
At the leisurely reply, Julia’s face darkened as she remembered that day.
“Poor thing.”
Cornelia smiled with satisfaction as she watched Julia’s expression change from time to
time.
“…”
Was this what the sudden ominous premonition was about? Cornelia didn’t speak any of it
directly, but Julia could see the meaning of her words at once. It was about the possibility
that Fernan might have another woman in his life.
And at the same time, rumors around her suddenly danced in her head.
Julia stared with shaky eyes at the mansion where Cornelia was blocking the entrance.
She wanted to ask Fernan the truth, but she was immediately afraid. Because Fernan had
already told her about the end of this marriage, and most of all, he hated her.
What difference would it make if he told her the truth when he didn’t even think of her as
his wife from the beginning?
Julia pictured him in her mind, looking down at her with his usual cold eyes and hurting her
with even colder words.
Chapter 19
The Duke of Blair visited Fernan’s private mansion about an hour before Julia arrived.
Despite the numbness in his voice, Fernan’s eyes showed signs of annoyance.
Duke Blair has been requesting a face-to-face meeting since the founding festival.
Since he expressed his willingness to visit the Grand Duchy in person, Fernan had no
reason to refuse and accepted the request without hesitation, but he didn’t know Duke
Blair would come with his daughter.
“I have come to see Your Highness once more. It seems that you misunderstood me on the
day of the banquet.”
Cornelia smiled lightly. After seeing that serpentine smile, the memory of running into that
woman on the terrace on the day of the banquet came vaguely to Fernan’s mind.
This made him feel uncomfortable, but at the same time, he understood why the father and
daughter visited him.
Fernan, who had been staring at them, nodded and led them to their seats.
As soon as they were seated, the Duke of Blair opened his mouth with a respectful smile.
“Marquis Elody must be on fire by now. I don’t know how he knew I was coming here, but
he went on a mad rampage.”
Marquis Elody was a savvy man, pacing from place to place and gathering information. So
he was well informed about the Duke of Blair’s business.
Fernan narrowed his brows dourly. He pictured the Marquis rushing to the Emperor to
report the situation.
It was supposed to offend the Emperor if the Grand Duke was in contact with another
family with an evil heart.
“Well, by the way. I heard from my daughter the other day that Your Highness is already
thinking about divorce.”
Duke Blair’s condescending words brought back another memory of the day of the banquet
to Fernan’s mind, when he was annoyed by Julia’s constant approach.
Remembering that moment, Fernan, who was somehow in a depressed mood, looked at
Duke Blair and answered in a cold voice.
“Your daughter seems to have a light mouth. I didn’t expect she would pass on the dialogue
she overheard.”
Cornelia visibly flinched at the cold words. Without even looking at her, Fernan went on
without feeling guilty.
“So, the reason you came this far was not because you were curious about whether I was
getting divorced or not, was it?”
Duke Blair, perplexed for a moment by the tense atmosphere, quickly cleared his throat
and began to get to the point.
The reason Duke Blair approached Fernan was to ensure that he would be drawn into the
aristocracy. Currently, Fernan was in a neutral position, but his shell belonged to the
imperialist faction. Along with the fact that he was the emperor’s nephew, the main reason
was that he married Marquis Elody’s daughter.
“Although you’re currently in a relationship with the Grand Duchess… Well, divorce is
something you can do any time.”
“…”
“Of course, moving rashly will arouse His Majesty’s suspicion. But that is when there is no
reason to do so.”
“It would be a different story if the Grand Duchess had a major flaw that made divorce
unavoidable.”
The Duke’s words followed, and Fernan clenched his fists unknowingly. Blood ran down
the back of his hand. Fernan, who had been staring at the Duke with a seething gaze,
quickly returned to his expressionless face again.
“I’m flattered that you even made your own plans for my divorce.”
Even though Fernan was being sarcastic to the fullest, Duke Blair skillfully passed on his
words.
“The Grand Duke’s divorce is an essential element of the plan I’m proposing.”
The Duke’s lips lifted straight up as Fernan tilted his head as if to say, “Tell me your great
plan once.”
“…”
“…Do you not know. If you carry my family on your back, His Majesty will not be angry with
you for very long.”
Fernan, who was silently listening to the Duke’s words, let out a small sneer.
He wanted to force his daughter on Fernan. Duke Blair wasn’t any different from the
Marquis Elody.
“This is your chance to get out from under the shadows of the royal family. Wasn’t this a
marriage that the Grand Duke never wanted from the beginning, and was unreasonable in
many ways?”
The Duke’s words were not wrong. Fernan never wanted this marriage and could have
ended it whenever he had the chance.
But, why does the question Julia asked come to his mind at this moment?
He thought of her face as he listened to her quiet voice, and for a moment his feelings fell
completely to the bottom.
For some reason, he felt his heart sink heavily.
In fact, whenever he thought of her lately, he was always surrounded by this feeling.
‘Why on earth….’
Fernan’s brows narrowed as he pondered in front of the Duke. The rootless afterimage of
Julia completely eroded his mind.
She was a woman who was constantly bothering him even when he tried to ignore her.
A strange woman who wouldn’t care about his rude words and cold treatment. She didn’t
even show anger when she was being bullied by the servants.
He had been desperately pushing her away because he was bothered by the way she looked
at him with clear eyes, but she was always the same.
She got on his mind like that. He didn’t know when or why.
He could never quite acknowledge that fact and ignored it, but her face always came up
suddenly and stirred his mind endlessly.
“Your Highness?”
Fernan finally raised his head at the voice calling him. He stared at the Duke and Cornelia,
who were looking at him.
He knew that joining forces with the Duke of Blair would be convenient in many ways. But
he didn’t have the slightest desire to do so.
Fernan, who flinched with confusion, raised his eyes and opened his mouth.
“Duke Blair.”
His expression tightening as he left his tangled mind behind him, Fernan continued to
speak with a stern voice.
“I don’t intend to divorce. So, don’t look for me for this anymore.”
The Duke, who sent Cornelia out, tried to persuade Fernan for a long time.
However, when Fernan refused to the end, the Duke returned to the capital and promised
to come back in the near future.
Fernan knew that the Duke wouldn’t give up easily, but that didn’t matter. Because he
(Fernan) was not going to change what he decided.
He still didn’t know what this anxious feeling was every time he thought of Julia.
If he could see her face and hear her voice, would he be able to understand what this
unsettling feeling was? Fernan, who returned to his castle earlier than usual, headed for
Julia’s room, passing all the servants who greeted him.
Stopping in front of the door of the large room, he knocked on it without hesitation.
Julia looked up at him without saying a word. Her pale face was expressionless, and he did
not hear the usual greeting asking if he was back.
Julia, who had dropped her gaze, made a small movement of her lips.
Her voice was subtle and faint. Fernan examined her secretly, wondering if she was
hurting, but at that moment, she pulled out something.
“This letter was sent to Your Highness. I was going to deliver it to you in person, but
something came up…..”
Receiving the letter, Fernan glanced at the sender and shoved it roughly into his pocket. He
didn’t even need to read it, seeing that it was a letter from the Marquis.
“No.”
When she saw that he was still dressed in his morning clothes, Julia spoke calmly.
“I think it’d better if you change your clothes first. I’ll go down first and wait.”
With those words, Julia walked past him. For some reason, the back of her as she carried
her feet felt different from her normal appearance.
Fernan watched the distant Julia for a while before turning away.
Chapter 20
When Fernan, dressed in casual clothes, arrived in the dining room, Julia did not look at
him as she usually did.
This was because Julia’s mind was now filled with the voice of Cornelia, whom she came
across in front of Fernan’s private mansion.
Until he sat down and the attendants served him food, Julia only looked at the table in a
daze.
The sudden sound of Fernan’s voice brought her out of her reverie.
Turning her gaze to him, Julia shook her head as she looked at him sitting across from her.
At this moment, Julia bit her lips with Fernan’s unusually soft voice.
She wanted to remove her heart, which pounded like a habit even in this situation.
She already knew very well that he would divorce her one day. But she was trying to accept
it in her own way.
Still, she felt lonely and sad at the same time that he was already planning to leave me. Even
though she knew that she didn’t deserve that.
After making an effort to change her expression, Julia started eating like it was nothing.
***
Before she knew it, early winter was approaching. In the meantime, the garden was
repaired and a greenhouse was built in the vacant lot.
Julia walked into the greenhouse and stared at the snowflakes dancing through the
transparent glass.
Bennett, standing next to her, checked the order list and asked with a questionable face.
Julia nodded silently.
She was going to fill this greenhouse with nothing but lilies.
There was no deep meaning to it. She just wanted to leave at least one trace of her in this
castle.
As Julia turned at Bennett’s words, she saw Fernan entering the greenhouse.
He took a quick step forward and sat down casually on the other side of Julia.
Julia watched him in silence, but then quietly opened her mouth.
“No.”
“Then…”
Fernan looked through the window pane without replying. Julia carved such a profile into
her eyes.
He would casually visit her and sit in silence, or even suggest that they have dinner
together once in a while.
Julia attributed the reason for his attitude to one last act of kindness on his part.
He was not a man who fit the word kind….but it felt good to think that way.
She didn’t want to waste her last moment with him, crying, hurting, and resenting.
“….”
Fernan wouldn’t be interested in this nonsense, but there was nothing Julia could do
because it was her last time.
Julia continued to talk in an unfittingly cheerful tone.
“It’s nice to have a lot of snow here. When I lived in the capital, I had to wear thin dresses in
the winter because of the high temperatures.”
Fernan stared at her. She blinked her long eyelashes slowly, a small smile on her face.
“I don’t think it’s been long since I’ve been here, but time has already passed so quickly.”
So much had happened in that time. So many things had changed, but the only thing that
remained the same was her heart.
There had been times she resented him, but she had always loved him. It was still as true
now as ever.
Julia smiled quietly, making eye contact with him. The corners of the eyes curved gently,
and the sea-blue eyes shone softly.
Fernan’s eyes widened for a moment as he gazed at her. He quickly averted his gaze.
“….like a child.”
They looked at different places. Each with a smile that meant something different.
Loneliness oozed from Julia’s lips. She felt as if they were an ordinary couple, sitting
together like this, having a conversation.
Julia knew it was a meaningless time for Fernan, but this time was so precious to her, even
just for a moment.
****
“Your Highness, why did you do that? It could have been a good opportunity.”
When Lloyd learned that Fernan had turned down Duke Blair’s proposal, he couldn’t
understand his decision.
Unable to hide the questionable expression on his face, Lloyd continued to speak.
“Even if you don’t want to do it now, you should take your time to decide.”
Duke Blair was also the head of the aristocratic faction. But he came in with his pride bent,
so did Fernan have to refuse so bluntly?
“It wouldn’t be a bad idea to have an insurance policy beforehand, just in case things go
wrong.”
Fernan answered as if he was annoyed. Lloyd kept his mouth shut, but still couldn’t
understand his Lord.
Fernan had said long ago that he would end this marriage with the Grand Duchess when
the time was right.
It was only natural. The marriage was forced without a single word of Fernan’s will.
But, what kind of a change of heart would cause him to suddenly decide not to divorce her?
Lloyd gave a small mumble. He was going to ask Fernan if he should consider it again, but
Fernan turned over one document and intercepted the words.
“…”
For what it’s worth, Fernan was very strange right now. How could he not divorce the
daughter of the Marquis he despised so much when the chance was handed to him?
His lord was not a man who changed his mind so quickly.
He was a man who always made accurate judgments, who planned with certainty, and who
never changed his mind, no matter what.
Lloyd, who opened his mouth carefully, soon stared at Fernan with a puzzled face.
It was because Fernan was looking out the window and smiling.
Just a slight one, but not a sneer or a cynical smile, but one that came from the heart ….
Lloyd blinked in dismay as he followed his gaze and looked out the window.
“…Why are you smiling so much while watching the snow fall?”
“…Huh?”
Lloyd’s complexion changed terribly. His lord was now like a man half obsessed with
something. Be very firm about that too.
Fernan continued to stare out the window until Lloyd shook his head with a shocked look
on his face, and eventually dropped his gaze at the documents on the table.
A report on the demon invasion that occurred at the border was intensified.
He didn’t know for sure, but it seemed strange. It seemed like someone was releasing a
large amount of demons.
Fernan signed the document saying that he would be visiting the border in the near future,
and handed it to Lloyd.
At the same time, Julia was welcoming the Marquis, who made a sudden visit to the Grand
Duke’s castle.
She was flustered when she saw her father, who came to visit her without saying a word,
but hurriedly showed him to the reception room.
The Marquis, who acted no differently than usual, suddenly slapped Julia when the
surroundings became quiet.
Julia, who stumbled greatly, grabbed her hot cheek and looked up at the Marquis in a daze.
The frowning Marquis, who had lost his good looks, shouted in an angry voice. Julia’s lips
trembled.
“What on earth have you been doing? What did you do that made the Grand Duke do such a
crazy thing!”
Unable to finish her words, she stopped speaking. She hadn’t seen the Marquis this angry in
a long time. Her hands began to tremble.
After struggling for a long time, the Marquis soon cleared his breath and spat out word by
word.
“The Grand Duke met with another family. Do you know what that means?”
“…”
“It means that he is looking for a new marriage partner to break up this marriage.”
When Julia didn’t seem surprised, the Marquis shouted again with his eyes wide open.
“You knew about this? Yes, there’s no way you didn’t know. This is all because of your
misbehavior!”
The loud voice hurt her ears. She could taste the fishy taste of blood as if her mouth was
ripped open, but Julia kept her gaze down and remained silent.
The Marquis glared at her as if he was about to devour her and continued to speak.
“…”
“…It’s up to you.”
Julia muttered quietly. The Marquis couldn’t believe his ears and asked back.
“What?”
“You can throw me out, or you can kill me. Do as you please.”
It was the first time Julia had tried to defy him in such a way. The Marquis’s eyes angrily
distorted. The more he thought about it, the more he was disgusted.
“You dare to make such threats against me without knowing the benefits I have given you.”
It all didn’t matter anymore. Whether her father was going to beat her to death or kick her
out of the family.
The Marquis, who managed to contain the anger that was building up to the top of his head,
calmly opened his mouth.
“It’s not like you don’t have a chance to make up for it. You can have an heir before the
Grand Duke declares a divorce. Then you can keep him in your grasp. ….”
Unable to contain his rising anger, the Marquis lifted his sturdy hand once more, but
someone knocked on the door at that moment.
“Excuse me.”
Bennett, who came in with refreshments, sensed an unusual atmosphere and paused for a
moment.
Meanwhile, the Marquis, who had finally managed to hold back his anger, sat down as if
nothing had happened and said to Bennett.
“Leave the tea.”
“Oh, yes…”
Bennett placed the tea on the table and carefully observed Julia, who was standing still.
When the Marquis noticed Bennett’s look, he opened his mouth in a caring tone.
“Julia, father is wrong. Don’t just stand there, sit down. There are people under you, so you
have to set an example.”
Seeing the Marquis’s attitude, which seemed to be simply placating his sulking daughter,
Bennett tilted his head and walked out of the parlor.
As soon as Bennett left, his expression tightened again, and he looked at Julia’s swollen, red
cheek and said,
“You have to take care of the matter no matter what. Stop being rebellious.”
“…”
“Tsk, how can you face the Duke with a face like that?”
“‘No matter how much the Grand Duke says he’s like a wooden stone, in the end he’s just a
man. If you make up your mind and jump at him, he won’t be able to refuse.”
“…”
“So, do whatever you have to do, you must have a child with him.”
Julia looked at the Marquis with a subdued gaze. His father’s eyes, filled with greed as
always, were the same color as her own.
“This is your last chance. It won’t happen again. Don’t think that I can’t do anything about a
girl like you.”
***
After some time, her face, with its broken capillaries, became so red and hot that it hurt just
to look at it.
Julia just passed by Melissa without any reaction and sat on the bed.
Julia nodded lightly. Melissa, who was watching her with concern, went outside to bring her
a cold cloth.
After sitting for a while without moving slightly, she suddenly stood up and approached the
drawer. There was a pendant in it and Julia quickly took it out.
It was the pendant that Matheus had given her. Light shone on the blue jewel, which was
filled with his holy power. When she put it to her heart, she could feel the power of the
pendant resonating with the power of her heart. It calmed her mind gently.
Julia went back in her memory. Has there ever been a time when she was happy, even just
once? She was pensive and dropped her gaze helplessly. She had never been happy in the
past, and she wasn’t happy now.
Closing her heavy eyelids, Julia put the pendant back in. She walked to the bed without
strength and laid her tired body down, and her eyes closed by themselves.
At that moment, Melissa, who had gone to get the cloth, knocked on the door and went
inside.
Even if she couldn’t be happy, she already knew how to avoid this misery.
****
During his visit to the border, Fernan deployed more private troops to strengthen the
defenses.
As a result of his investigation, it became clear that the numerous demons that had invaded
the border were the work of the Kingdom of Renev, one of the defeated nations in the last
Imperial War.
There were no major problems in defeating the demons themselves, but the evacuation of
the permanent residents living near the border was complicated.
They set up temporary shelters for the people, and then spent several days just raiding the
areas.
It was early in the morning when Fernan returned to the castle after four days.
Fernan, who had stopped his horse and was heading for the rear gate of the castle, paused
for a moment.
He saw someone walking slowly around the garden, which was covered with a thin layer of
snow.
Gazing at the figure with squinted eyes, Fernan approached without hesitation.
The figure was hidden from a dark view, but he could recognize her at a glance.
She was wearing a thin slip dress and a shawl, even though the dawn breeze was cold.
Fernan called her gently.
“Julia.”
It was the first time he had called her name aloud. While she was still feeling unfamiliar
with this fact, Julia slowly turned around.
“Why are you out here….?”
Fernan’s face hardened for a moment as he spoke. It was because he saw the white gauze
covering one of Julia’s cheeks.
His brows contracted, and Fernan reached out to her face without hesitation.
Julia looked sullenly at his serious face, then changed the subject.
“You’re late.”
Fernan wasn’t usually one to pass on the lore of being late for any reason separately.
Therefore, Julia did not know why he had not come back to the castle for four days, and she
just waited endlessly for him to return.
Fernan asked in a somber tone. He wanted to remove this gauze now and check the wound,
but he had to listen to her first.
Fernan stopped speaking. Because Julia gently took his large hand in hers.
Julia removed his hand from her cheek and let go without hesitation. Fernan stared down
at his hand.
“Your Highness.”
“Is it a servant? Or…”
Fernan’s face crumbled slowly. He didn’t know why Julia suddenly brought it up in this
situation. Her calm voice followed as he carefully examined Julia’s expression.
“What?”
Fernan’s eyes wavered slightly. Julia said, looking into his eyes.
For the four days that Fernan was out, she agonized countless times.
A husband who hated her. A father who forced her to have children with such a husband.
Her love for him was still the same. However, she couldn’t endure this hell with her heart
alone.
Love alone can overcome all trials and tribulations, and that is the story of a fairy tale hero.
Such a beautiful fairy tale where the story proceeds on the premise that the two
protagonists love each other deeply.
But Julia was in a situation where she couldn’t even qualify as a protagonist.
Her love was always one-sided. She was even more unhappy because she loved Fernan.
Surprisingly, that fact hardened her heart.
Chapter 22
Fernan’s clear face slowly became distorted. A hunch that something was very wrong
flashed through him.
Julia now had a look on her face that he had never seen before, and she was spewing out
unexpected words.
Fernan was immediately perturbed, as he was trying to figure out what was going on.
“…”
In a response different from what was expected, Julia’s calm face gradually cracked.
She didn’t have the slightest idea why he was suddenly doing this. Her mind was
completely covered with questions.
“You’re going to divorce me someday. Then it doesn’t matter when, does it?”
Facing Fernan’s eyes, Julia tried her best to grasp what was going through his mind.
Fernan quickly took off his own jacket and slowly wrapped around Julia’s shoulders.
Touching the large jacket on her shoulders without familiarity, Julia tried her best to keep
her voice as calm as possible.
She no longer had the strength to handle his cold gaze. Being hurt has been enough so far.
“So I will do as Your Highness wishes. I will divorce you and leave this castle…”
Julia, who swallowed the rest of her words as his hand lightly peeled off the gauze on her
cheek, hurriedly covered her face.
“…Ah!”
The distance between them narrowed in an instant, Fernan’s eyes shook slightly as he
stared at her face.
The red wound on her cheek showed the marks of someone’s hand.
Sweeping her face still with a sad glare, Fernan muttered low.
“If you don’t want to tell me, I’ll look into it myself.”
He was going to find out what kind of bloody b*st*rd had done this, even if he had to
interrogate every single person in the castle.
Julia stared blankly at him for a moment as he moved away, and then followed.
Fernan had no expression on his face, but a vein popped up on his powerful chib.
Julia didn’t notice it, and just asked him back with a complicated look in her eyes.
Julia couldn’t possibly understand this situation. She couldn’t understand why Fernan
avoided talking about the divorce, or why he was acting so sensitive.
He hated her.
He said he would give her what she wanted, but now she was ready to break up with him
completely.
Julia was a little angry at the situation, not being able to do what she wanted even in a
moment like this.
“You…”
Fernan stopped speaking for a moment, as if holding something back, and opened his
mouth again.
“Why?”
Julia’s eyes were as clear as ever as she asked this question. The dawn sun began to rise
behind her.
Fernan’s eyes were filled with the faint light she was bathed in.
At this moment, he was angry with her, but at the same time he wanted to hold her.
Fernan lowered his gaze, narrowing his brows as he couldn’t control the emotions that
were building up.
She stood still for a moment, stroking his jacket that was left on her shoulders.
***
Melissa sighed in relief. The scar on Julia’s cheek now remained faint.
Julia tried to pass it off as a scratch from bumping into somewhere, but Melissa didn’t seem
to believe her.
She was going to visit the temple of Ilion where Matheus stayed today.
She was worried that she would bother him, but Matheus was the only person she could
ask for help at the moment.
She trusted that Matheus would be able to help her through this confusing and complicated
situation. It was an instinctive trust.
Julia visited Fernan several more times after that day. But she only received a firm answer
from him.
He was the one who wanted to divorce her from the beginning, but why did he change his
mind now?
He already has another woman. He even met with her to talk about their marriage.
Julia came out of the room with a somber expression, and for some reason she glanced at
the knight who was guarding the door.
“The order was that if anyone tried to harm the Grand Duchess, they were to be dealt with
immediately.”
Julia stood there with a suspicious look on her face and quickly walked past the knight
silently. As she stepped outside, the carriage was already there waiting for her.
Julia, who was about to get into the carriage, turned around with a sigh. It was because of
the inconvenience and discomfort of the knight behind her.
Julia’s expression tightened at the decisive reply, and she climbed into the carriage without
a word.
When the carriage departed in such a manner and some time had passed, Julia gently
opened the window. She could immediately see the knight running near the carriage with
his horse.
It was hard to breathe, feeling like she was being watched, but she couldn’t ask him,
because he was just following orders.
She had never had an escort before. So she had no idea how exhausting it felt to have
someone following her around.
***
In the office of the mansion, Fernan stood still behind his desk, his papers in disarray.
“Marquis Elody was the only visitor to the Grand Ducal Castle that day.”
Under the circumstances, the wound on Julia’s face was likely caused by the Marquis.
It didn’t take much to find out, but it didn’t solve the question of why the Marquis had done
that to his daughter.
Surely the Marquis was a father who truly cared for Julia. At least that was how he always
acted in front of Fernan’s eyes.
As Fernan covered his forehead and sank into his thoughts, Julia’s voice naturally came to
mind.
At the same time, Julia’s red, swollen cheek came to his vision vividly, and he felt an
uncontrollable anger rising in him.
Filled with anger, Fernan raised his head at the sound of the door opening.
“Your Highness, as you ordered, I have found several employers who used to work at the
Marquis’ residence…”
“I met the daughter of the attending physician who worked at the Marquis’s residence long
ago, and according to her… Apparently, the Grand Duchess is the Marquis’s illegitimate
daughter.”
Chapter 23
Fernan asked, narrowing his eyes.
“Illegitimate?”
“Apparently so. The physician’s daughter said the Marchioness never had a second child.”
Lloyd also added that the physician had died a long time ago, and it appeared that he was
murdered.
Fernan, who had been silent for a while, suddenly clenched his fists. Lloyd glanced at him
with a pale face.
“Your Highness, if you will allow me, I will secure witnesses and written testimony.”
“…”
It wasn’t very uncommon for nobles to have illegitimate children. There were even times
when the mistress and the child would be given separate places to stay.
But it was in other cases that the illegitimate child was taken directly into the family.
Among the aristocracy of the empire, where bloodline was important, it was a deception
and fraud against the other party to proceed with the marriage with the illegitimate child.
Lloyd spoke with force. Fernan was a member of the royal family, a Grand Duke of the
empire at the center of the political world.
The Marquis dared him to deceive him into this marriage with his illegitimate daughter;
with this fact, the Emperor would not be able to say a word about this if Fernan wanted a
divorce.
However, despite Lloyd’s ensuing words, Fernan remained silent for a long time.
His face remained so quiet that it was hard to tell what on earth he was thinking.
In his mind all the words and behaviors that Julia had shown him, one after another passed
by.
The aphrodisiac was found in her room earlier and the words that had insisted on her
innocence.
Even the look of contemplation and the soft, reluctant attitude when the Marquis was
mentioned.
Of course, due to the nature of “he” the Marquis, there was no way he would care for an
illegitimate child.
Fernan now could guess how the Marquis usually treated Julia, just by seeing how he
blatantly slapped Julia in the Grand Duke’s castle.
That must be why Julia reacted the way she did whenever the Marquis was mentioned.
Fernan was as quiet as ever, and for a moment there was an indescribable anger in the
depths of his eyes.
“Your Highness, of course, this was done by the Marquis, but it is a self-evident fact that the
Grand Duchess also remained silent and watched from the sidelines.”
The words caused Fernan’s brows to twitch, and then slowly return to normal.
Lloyd was right. Regardless of the situation before and after, the fact that Fernan had been
deceived by her was self-evident.
But it wasn’t because of the fact that Julia was an illegitimate child, nor the fact that he was
deceived by her.
Fernan, who had been silent for so long, finally opened his mouth.
“Lloyd.”
Fernan stood up from his seat, leaving Lloyd with a surprised look on his face.
***
Getting down from the carriage, Julia looked around the area for a while.
Surrounded by a large wall, the Temple of Ilion had an open entrance for anyone to enter
and exit freely.
When she hinted, the knight looked at her with an expression of difficulty.
The knight was troubled for a while, and then he quickly bowed.
When she finally climbed the high stairs and passed through the doorway, she found the
garden straight ahead.
In the garden, the temple visitors were spending their time. In the peaceful and relaxed
atmosphere, her frustrated heart gradually began to fade away.
Shortly after, Julia entered the main building and walked along the corridor.
It must have been a long walk. From the other side, a child was seen running.
The child stopped in front of Julia and greeted her in a crisp voice.
“Hello.”
“Eh…Hello.”
Julia replied and smiled faintly. The child, who wore a priest uniform that was larger than
his body, looked like a young priest.
The child suddenly grabbed her hand without saying a word, and walked confidently
forward.
Julia asked with a panicked look on her face, and the child in front of her smiled as he
turned his head around.
“Master Matheus asked me to take you. I heard a very precious guest has come.”
Julia’s eyes grew wide and round. How did Matheus know that she was going to visit him
when she had never told him?
She followed the child cautiously and saw a large arched door at the end of the corridor.
The child opened the door with a bang and jumped inside.
“Master Matheus!”
Matheus, who was standing on the platform, turned around. He spotted Julia and smiled
softly, just like in the past.
“Welcome.”
Julia, who was staring at Matheus as he approached, hesitantly opened her mouth.
“Yes, I knew.”
“Thanks to the fact that the pendant has my power, I can feel your presence even from a far
distance.”
“Ah…”
Julia gently stroked the pendant. Matheus, who was staring at her, asked.
Julia nodded without reply. Matheus seemed to have the ability to see into her mind.
Although she hadn’t known him very long, Julia felt an unexplainable trust in him.
She had a feeling that he would be able to teach her how to be happy.
Nodding, Julia followed Matheus’ lead into the next room. The small room, which appeared
to be a prayer room, was peaceful and serene.
After taking a seat, Julia opened her mouth after a few moments of pondering.
“I…”
Julia was overwhelmed. After catching her breath, she continued slowly.
Matheus listened to her silently. In his warm and careful gaze, Julia’s thoughts and feelings
naturally came out.
“…”
“I don’t want to…love my husband. It seems like I can really do that, but it has to be now…
but that person keeps me from moving forward.”
As she confided this, the faint resentment towards Fernan began to build up again. Julia
gathered her gaze with a deep sigh.
Her voice began to tremble. Matheus was lost in thoughts with his head down.
After a while, Matheus slowly raised his head and opened his mouth in a cautious voice.
“With my lack of power, I will never be able to fully resolve the situation you are facing.”
Julia gave a small smile. She felt a little lighter when she confided her heart to Matheus.
That was when Julia realized that this last resort wasn’t a good thing for her.
She felt like nothing was matter. As long as she could get away from this misery.
And so it was early evening when she returned to the castle after her long meeting with
Matheus.
Fernan was standing in the middle of the room waiting for her.
It was the first time he came to Julia’s room like this since the aphrodisiac was found in her
room a while ago.
However, Fernan, who had entered her room at will, only asked with a blank face.
There was no explanation as Julia’s eyes gradually grew wide. Her face turned pale.
Julia, who couldn’t answer immediately and only trembled with her gaze, murmured in
bewilderment.
“I…”
“I guess it’s true.”
Fernan swept his hair roughly. His face was slightly distorted.
Until now, the Marquis had thoroughly concealed the fact that Julia was his illegitimate
daughter.
However, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, it was impossible for the Marchioness,
who had never been pregnant with her second child, to completely deceive everyone
pretending to have given birth.
The Marchioness’ physician, the young errand boy….. Many people were sacrificed in the
hands of the Marquis only to cover up the secret.
The reason being that Julia’s value as a commodity would be diminished if it was revealed
that she was an illegitimate child.
Chapter 24
“Now you have one more reason to divorce me.”
The past which she wanted to forget came back to her at Fernan’s question, and Julia said
with a tired voice.
Fernan’s forehead wrinkled gently as he stared at Julia, who was mumbling in resignation.
“My origin will be a legitimate reason for divorce. Your Highness deserves huge
compensation from my family.”
She didn’t want him to find out that she was illegitimate. Because she was afraid that he
would reject her even more.
A woman who secured the position of the Grand Princess while hiding her status. That
noble man would never accept that.
It was natural that he had never wanted her as his wife from the beginning.
Fernan’s face was stained with twisted emotions as he watched Julia continue talking about
divorce.
Seeing no response from Fernan, Julia looked up and met his gaze. Her shoulders shook
slightly.
The way he looked at her was a little different than usual. His eyes were always calm and
cold, but now there was something boiling in them.
“…”
Because she hadn’t yet planned where she would go, how she would live, or anything like
that.
“That…”
“Your identity is discovered and if you return to your family, is there any guarantee that
you will be better than you are now?”
Meanwhile, his passing hand gently touched a strand of her disheveled silver hair.
The touch was light. But the voice that flowed out was increasingly hot and obsessive.
“Even if it’s the same hell, you might start to wish you were by my side.”
Hell… while she chewed on his words, the hand that had been circling her hair came down
to her frail jawline.
Gazing at her trembling lips, Fernan put more pressure on the hand that was holding her
chin.
“So stay here and pay the price for daring to deceive me.”
With her chin slightly lifted, Julia stared at him. Veins on her neck started pulsating.
His eyes, flickering like fire, held a strange emotion that Julia couldn’t quite measure.
She was finally ready to move on, but this man blocked her way so easily like this.
Even with her clear voice, there was no reply from Fernan.
Eventually, Fernan stroked her cheek once more with his hand.
The words sank her heart, which was barely holding on.
His low voice kept entering her ears as the distance grew closer and closer.
“If it’s love you want, there’s nothing I can’t give you.”
His long fingers slowly stroked her lower lip. Julia held her breath involuntarily as the hot
touch made her body jittery.
Lifting her disordered gaze, she saw a faint heat in his eyes that she had never seen before.
It was the kind of heat that didn’t quite fit this situation.
Eventually, he lowered his head deeply and stared at her, their distance was now too close.
regained consciousness, faltered and tried to turn her face, but the hand grasping her cheek
forced her to fix her face on his.
“Let me go…”
Julia tried to push him away with a faint voice, but he just lowered his lips. Her body froze
as it was.
The rest of her words were swallowed completely by the colliding lips.
Julia felt the unfamiliar touch of his lips, unable to grasp the situation.
‘What is this…’
The feeling of his hard tongue parting her lips without time to push it out continued.
Julia flinched and tried to turn her head away, but was quickly stopped by a firm hand
grabbing her chin.
Julia froze, unable to even close her eyes, as the hot sensation raked through her mouth.
The sound of saliva sloshing in her mouth was accompanied by the sound of her breathing
getting heavier and heavier.
Julia’s neck began to tremble. Fernan’s lips peeled back slightly, as if he was giving her time
to breathe. It was only then that she finally gasped for air.
But the lips that eventually collided with hers made her choke again. She pushed his chest
away with all her might, but his hard body did not budge.
Her legs lost their strength. The arms around her waist supported her wobbling body
firmly.
Through her increasingly fuzzy and wet vision, she could see Fernan’s face, which was a
different temperature than usual. Julia flinched and grabbed his neck tightly.
As she did so, she felt her body flutter upwards. Their lips didn’t even part at that moment.
Before she knew it, her back was touching a soft spot. She didn’t need to check to know that
she was on a bed. The kissing, which had been going on for a while, finally stopped.
They were closer than ever, and she could feel their hot breaths. Suddenly, the ribbons tied
behind her back were untied at once by his hands. The cold air touched her exposed
shoulders.
Julia gasped for breath and pushed on his shoulders when her dress was halfway down.
“…That’s enough.”
This man, who had refused to do so even on their wedding night, was now revealing a
fervor she could not understand. She didn’t know what to make of this sudden act.
The love that he said he would give her… Is it just an act of mixing their bodies like this?
Julia covered her mouth with one hand, and pushed his chest away with the other.
Her feelings and opinions were of no value to him. He was never going to respect her.
Biting her lips tightly, Julia held back the tears that were threatening to drop. Even so, the
water that gradually came out began to moisten her eyes.
Fernan stared down at Julia. Like a person who came to his senses late. Having said nothing
for a long time, he soon lowered his hand and touched her eyelids.
It couldn’t be, but his touch was gentle as if he was touching something precious. The hand
that was wiping away all of her endless tears eventually fell away.
At the same time, the shadow surrounding her gradually lifted. A bulky blanket was placed
on her body.
“…”
Fernan got up from the bed silently, turned away and crossed the room.
Julia closed her eyes with the sound of the door closing.
Only the vibration of her heart beating violently echoed through the room. Her heart
seemed to collapse.
***
After that day, Fernan increased the number of knights he had stationed around Julia.
It was obvious that it was not only for the apparent reason of guarding her, but also for the
purpose of surveillance.
Julia, who was sitting on the bed, did not respond to the voice calling her outside.
She just buried her head more deeply into her knees.
She stared only at her feet through the far distance of her vision.
Her disheveled hair blocked her view, but she didn’t feel like she needed to fix it.
Fernan no longer visited her. He just seemed to be getting reports on how she was doing.
She used to lock herself in the bedroom all day and sat still like this.
As she buried her head in her knees, Fernan’s voice suddenly appeared in her vacant mind.
“Even if it’s the same hell, you might start to wish that you’re better by my side.”
The voice that had led to the dryness of just laying out certain facts cut into Julia’s heart
with ease.
He was right. If she divorced him when her identity was discovered, she would never be
safe.
Perhaps she would really prefer to stay here as the apparent Grand Duchess.
The damp air seemed to choke her again, as it had that day.
She still had no idea what Fernan’s reason was for not divorcing her.
For the sake of something to be gained by maintaining this marriage, he kissed her, whom
he hated with all his heart.
There was no need to get hurt now. The man had always been cruel to her, and had never
shown her any respect.
But no matter how hard she tried to be calm, there was no way to soothe this miserable
heart that had hit rock bottom.
Chapter 25
As the surveillance in the vicinity increased, Julia remained quietly in her place for a while.
The more time she spent alone, the more her mind sank endlessly.
At dawn, after what might have been days, Julia paced by the door, unable to sleep.
After a short hesitation, she opened the door and saw a dark and desolate hallway.
Fortunately, the hallway appeared to be empty.
While she was stepping out in such a cautious manner, someone suddenly stood in front of
her.
“Your Grace.”
She tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. Fortunately, the knight stepped out of her
way.
Feeling relieved by the unexpected obedient answer, Julia immediately walked past the
knight.
She left the castle and headed for the garden. She walked down the long garden path and
soon stopped in front of a large fountain.
As she held the pendant close to her heart, Julia remembered Matheus’ quiet voice.
“The reason I gave you this pendant is because I hoped it would give you peace.”
On a recent visit to the temple, Matheus said, infusing the pendant with a stronger and
denser holy power.
“But now, you have a situation, I will help you to use my power contained in this.”
That day, Matheus said something incredible. Julia could use the power herself.
He said it was because of the holy power that was in her heart since birth.
“If you put the pendant close to her heart and make it resonate, you will be able to
exert your power for a short time.”
This meant that the power of the heart could be used for a short time using the pendant as
a medium.
He added that the act of using the power in such a way always comes with a price.
He said that her body was not in a stable state to use power and if she were to use it
randomly, her body would not be able to handle it.
Julia finished her recollection of Matheus’ words and put the pendant back in its place.
Then she took a long look around. It was dawn and no one was passing around. She
tightened her robe and hurried away.
The gate of the castle would certainly be guarded by knights, so Julia deliberately headed
towards the direction where no knight patrolled.
“If you use your power to hide your presence, you might be able to escape safely.”
Just as she was about to take the pendant out of her pocket, someone grabbed her wrist.
“…!”
She raised her head, and to her surprise, Fernan was standing there.
Below his messy black hair, glistening golden eyes turned to her. While Julia froze for a
moment, Fernan spoke with a frighteningly cold voice.
“…”
Julia’s expression tightened and she tried to shake him off, but the firm hand that grabbed
her wrist was too strong. She was afraid of his gaze that seemed to swallow her all up. Julia
lowered her shaky eyes.
Obviously, the knight earlier let her go. But did he secretly follow her?
While Julia was silent with a gloomy face, her body was suddenly lifted up.
“…Ah!”
Julia could not hide her confusion when she looked closely at his face.
When she lowered her gaze, she saw the collar of his shirt was loose. It looked as if he had
jumped out of bed as soon as he heard
Julia went out.
His hands held below her knees and around her waist with persistent force.
Julia was submissively held by him without rebellion. However, her mind was tangled with
many thoughts and they stirred wildly.
As he did so, he reached the castle in the blink of an eye. There was a commotion while Julia
left the castle to escape, and servants were gathering in the lobby left and right.
Once inside, the servants who spotted him huffed and bowed.
“…please let me down.”
Julia mumbled quietly, not wanting people to see her being held like this.
But Fernan didn’t even pretend to hear her, he just walked up the stairs.
He wasn’t headed for the hallway where Julia’s bedroom was located. It was the other side,
the hallway where his bedroom was.
He opened the door a little urgently and placed Julia immediately on the bed.
As Julia tried to get up, Fernan’s feeble efforts quickly put her back on the bed.
She thought he was going to kiss her again like last time.
Then he sat down on the sofa a little further away and just stared at her.
Julia, who was staring at him blankly, slowly straightened up. Holding the blanket tightly,
she asked in a small voice.
“…”
She thought after he discovered her fake identity he would divorce her in a heartbeat, but…
Fernan’s brows furrowed. His lips moved as if he were about to say something, and then
closed them again.
In the end, there was no answer that came back. Thus, only silence lingered between them
for a long time. Julia felt a distant feeling and clenched her hands.
Her head felt dizzy. Julia, who had been sitting firmly, eventually buried her head in her
knees. Fernan was still watching her.
He never took his eyes off her, not even for a moment. Time passed without delay as she sat
like that with a complicated mind.
It was around morning when the sun rose that Julia opened her eyes. When she raised her
body, a thick blanket fell down.
She remembered she was sitting up, but before she knew it, she was lying in bed asleep.
Julia hurriedly checked the surroundings and did not see Fernan. With a small sigh of relief,
Julia got out of bed.
While doing so, she crossed the room and suddenly the door to the dressing room on one
wall flashed open.
A voice with no highs or lows addressed Julia. Hesitantly, but not averting his gaze, Julia
replied,
“What for?”
Julia bit her lip at the cold voice that immediately struck back.
She thought that in the morning he would change his mind about her staying only in his
bedroom.
But it didn’t seem to be the case. Julia tightened her grip on the skirt of her dress.
Hearing the reply without hesitation, Julia remained speechless for a while and looked up
at him as he approached.
As usual, his face was expressionless. He was a man who just gave orders without any
explanation.
Julia relaxed her grip on her dress and bowed her head. Her pale eyes grew redder.
All that flowed out was an indifferent voice that swallowed all emotions.
“Tell me you will stay with me and don’t bring up the divorce or anything else.”
“…”
Julia gave a small faint laugh, looking like she was about to cry.
It was obvious what he wanted from her. He wanted her to live as the obedient Grand
Duchess like she had been.
me to live on the apparent great public expense as before. Even if she was hated and
treated coldly, even if this was hell, just be quiet and stay by his side.
“Until when…”
“…”
This man, who had said with all his might that he hated her, was now suddenly telling her
to stay by his side. He didn’t even tell her a convincing reason.
Julia became more and more frustrated. The bank of emotions that she had barely been
able to contain completely collapsed.
There was more surveillance around the castle, and Fernan guarded her every move on a
daily basis.
It didn’t take long for Julia’s will to be broken by this. There was no way she could find a
way out of this situation.
A while later, she heard the sound of someone opening the door. Julia closed her eyes from
the start and put her head down.
Because there was only one person who could come in this room.
“Julia.”
With a muffled voice, steps approached. While Julia was silent with her head buried in her
knees, one side of the bed caved in.
Fernan, sitting beside her, reached out and touched her shoulder. Still Julia did not look up.
Fernan kept her still and looked around the bedroom. The meal he had brought her a few
hours ago was left untouched.
Some books and neatly folded clothes on the table were also untouched.
“…”
It was only then that Julia’s pale face finally turned to him, but she did not meet his gaze.
Fernan stared at her long lashes, then reached out to her and forcibly lifted her up. He
stepped over to the table and sat Julia down.
He then took the tray, which was completely cold, and ordered the attendant to bring him a
new one.
While Fernan was at the door, Julia immediately got up and went back to bed.
“Julia.”
When Fernan grabbed her hand, Julia shook him off with a feeble effort. The eyes looking
back at him were empty. While Fernan looked far away for a moment at the sight, the
attendant brought a new meal in.
“Eat.”
Fernan, who had finally regained his senses, once again led Julia to sit in front of the table.
Julia quickly turned her head to the side, and he gently grabbed her frail chin and turned
her to him.
He picked up a spoonful of food and held it out to her mouth. When Julia didn’t open her
mouth, Fernan recited in a quiet voice.
“…”
It was only then that Julia, who had finally turned her gaze to look at him, moved her lips
for the first time.
He gave Julia the silverware and held hand directly over the dishes before finally sitting
down on the other side of her.
Julia stared down at the warm, freshly prepared food and then glanced at Fernan on the
other side.
She was sure that Fernan would sit there until she was finished with it.
In the end, Julia slowly moved the fork around and scooped up some of the food.
However, with no appetite and no feelings, Julia put down the fork before she could even
eat half of it.
As she got up and walked back to bed, Fernan gently cleaned up the meal tray without
saying anything else. Julia slowly lay down on the bed. The fact that this was Fernan’s
bedroom didn’t give her any more cause for concern.
But soon she had to force her eyes open by a hand supporting her body.
Julia tried to lie down again without reply, but was prevented again.
Gently grabbing her shoulders, Fernan made eye contact with her . But Julia turned her
gaze without looking at him.
“…”
Julia’s quiet gaze finally turned to Fernan. But time passed, and nothing came out of her
mouth.
Her lips were still closed, and her stare at him was filled with the will not to say what he
wanted.
Staring at her closed lips, he reached out and raised her soft chin. He lowered his head as if
he was going to kiss her, but stopped just before their lips touched. Julia didn’t comply,
didn’t rebel, just averted her gaze.
“…”
Fernan watched her for a moment, then slowly raised his head and let go of her face. Julia
stared at him as he turned away and let go of the hem of the dress she was holding. She lied
down and closed her eyes again, but Fernan didn’t say anything this time.
Julia erased all kinds of thoughts that shook her mind.
***
Her doctor visited again and again, but she showed no sign of improvement, even after
taking her medicine. Julia gasped for air as she lay buried in bed. She heard someone
talking in the background.
“…”
“She needs to move her body, even if it’s just a light walk. She must also increase her food
intake. Most of all…no more mental pressure.”
When Julia opened her eyes gently, she saw Fernan silently listening to the doctor’s firm
words. Then, Julia closed her eyes again and immediately fell asleep.
While Julia slept, the sky quickly darkened. After a while, a faint moonlight leaked into the
room, which had turned into a dense night. Fernan stood still beside Julia, who was deeply
asleep. His large hand touched her forehead.
The cool, comfortable touch gently relaxed Julia’s eyes. The hand that had stayed for a
while as if measuring her temperature quickly fell from her forehead to her cheek. The cold
touch gradually cooled her heated cheeks. A quiet voice descended.
“Julia.”
Fernan continued to mumble, even though there was no way she could hear him.
“…”
“…”
Fernan gently grabbed her hand. He knew it was his fault that she was this sick.
He kept her locked up and prevented her from going anywhere, so her weak body must
have been under a lot of pressure.
But he didn’t know what else he could do to keep her here.
The surge of emotion he always felt whenever he looked at Julia crumbled while she was
constantly trying to get away from him.
He didn’t want to hurt her, but he wanted to keep her by his side, even if it hurt.
He could give her anything she wanted if she would just stay by his side.
Why doesn’t she look at him the way she used to?
Julia, who always expressed her love for him with her eyes, was no longer there. That fact
twisted and stimulated his mind. The more she tried to escape, the more he couldn’t let go.
An uneasy look that even he couldn’t help himself gave way to her sleeping eyes.
Then suddenly, as she was moving her hands in her sleep, she gently grasped his hand.
The faint touch of her skin shook his heart. He swept Julia’s forehead, which broke out in a
cold sweat.
He hoped that she would never let go of his hand for the rest of her life. He sincerely hoped
that she would remain only within his realm forever.
***
Julia came out of her long fever on a day when the snow began to fall slowly after a long
absence.
The dawn was as dark as ever. Julia sat up, feeling light-headed.
When she blinked her eyes in a daze, she saw Fernan sitting on the sofa with the moonlight
shining at him through the window.
Julia stared at him with a quiet gaze. Perhaps fell asleep while sitting, because he did not
move a muscle.
Come to think of it, she had never seen Fernan sleep before.
It was only natural since they barely even saw each other, let alone seeing him sleep.
Julia quietly moved away from the bed, feeling incomprehensible.
Fernan did not open his eyes, even as she stepped and moved on the floor. She approached
him with the utmost breathlessness.
His closed eyelids did not move at all slightly. Watching his face carefully, Julia glanced at
the door.
Suddenly, the thought occurred to her that she might be able to get out of here now.
Chapter 27
Of course, there would be knights around the castle, but she had a feeling she could make it
somehow as long as she avoided Fernan’s eyes.
Julia, who was about to take off her steps, reached out to him just in case. She waved her
hand cautiously towards his eyes, but Fernan didn’t open his eyes.
But even before she could straighten her body, a firm hand grabbed her and pulled her
back.
“…Ah!”
In a flash, Julia was held in his arms. Before she knew it, his half-open golden eyes were
staring at her.
His hand wrapped around her waist pulled her closer to him. She had to look at him
helplessly as she sat on the hard thighs.
A somewhat faint voice sounded in her ear. Julia tried to sit up, but his firm hands did not
budge.
With those words, he gently held Julia’s and leaned her against his chest. Julia could feel his
heartbeat through their colliding bodies.
Fernan just slumped down and gently put his forehead on Julia’s shoulder.
Julia tried to push him out, but the big hands wrapped around her waist did not easily fall
off.
Giving up and letting out a small sigh, Julia relaxed her rigid body.
After gazing over his shoulder for a while with a dazed expression, Julia lowered her
eyelids lightly.
Perhaps it was because of warmth coming from him. Her eyes grew heavier.
At some point, Julia, who was leaning on his chest, closed her eyes completely.
***
The next day, Julia was able to go outside the castle for the first time in a very long time.
It was thanks to the many times her doctor had told her to move her body as much as
possible.
As if it were natural, Fernan held her hand, but Julia was unusually obedient.
As soon as she took a step outside, Julia felt dizzy for a while in the subtle sunlight.
After all this time, Julia realized how long she had been trapped. With a buzzing sound, she
turned her gaze and arrived in front of the glass greenhouse.
As she entered, the first thing she saw was a flower bed full of lilies.
For a while, Julia was transfixed by the white expanse of the flower bed.
“As you said, this whole place is filled with white flowers.”
Only then did she remember saying that she would fill this greenhouse with only lilies.
It had been a long time since she visited the greenhouse, so today was the first time she saw
so many flowers planted like this.
“If there’s anything else you want to do, feel free to do it.”
Fernan looked at her. He was calm as usual, but there was a hint of nervousness in his
voice.
Perhap Fernan thought that she would be satisfied if he give her material things.
She wished for a life of loving and being loved in peace, without hurting and without
worrying.
But now she was too tired to wish for such love from Fernan.
“If it’s love you want from me, then there’s nothing I can’t give you.”
He had said that but Julia knew better. The love he said he could give and the love she
wanted were completely different concepts.
There was a time when she selfishly thought that Fernan was her only hope.
She thought that this man was the only one who could protect her in this hellish life.
Because he was her first love, and at the same time, he was the first family she had ever had
after escaping the shadows of the Marquis family.
Julia took a step forward, then she bent down and looked at the beautifully planted white
flowers around the small fountain.
With a snap, she tore off a petal. It was something she would never have done in her normal
life.
As she looked at the petals in her hand, Julia opened her mouth for the first time.
She stood up and turned around. When she raised her head, her eyes met Fernan’s
immediately.
He seemed inwardly surprised and his eyes wavered slightly. But the look in his eyes,
which soon narrowed again, seemed to indicate that he was trying to figure out if she was
sincere.
It still didn’t look like she meant it. So she was going to make him believe it from now on.
All Fernan wanted was for her to remain here. Then she would do as he wished and he
would loosen his security.
She would not upset him with any more useless pride. After he believed her words and
removed all surveillance, when he wouldn’t give her his full attention anymore. She could
escape then.
….
Julia no longer spent her time just buried in bed. She ate at appropriate times, exercised,
and regained her health.
From then on, Fernan no longer locked her in his bedroom. She escaped the confinement
with a single phrase: I won’t think of divorce anymore.
As such, Julia was once again free to roam the castle, but that didn’t mean the watchful eyes
disappeared.
There were still knights staying around her, and she had to be followed wherever she went,
even inside the castle.
Julia did nothing. She didn’t even try to get out of the castle.
When evening came, Julia slowly made her way to the dining room.
When she was confined, she always ate by force in the bedroom,
but now she naturally ate in the dining room, facing Fernan.
Julia greeted, sounding as friendly as she once had. Fernan stared at her.
“Good evening.”
The man, who had always failed to respond to her greetings, now gave a short reply.
Fernan stared at Julia until she sat down and only after he saw her take the fork and put the
food in her mouth did he begin to eat.
Fernan still didn’t seem to believe her sincerity. However, he didn’t particularly question or
confirm it.
Feeling her gaze on him, Fernan suddenly looked at her. Julia opened her mouth slightly
avoiding the gaze.
“Your Highness.”
“…”
A cautious color appeared on her face. It was because she was nervous that it might have
sounded contrived.
But instead, it peeled back Fernan’s caution, and she heard a more soothing voice than
usual from him.
After finishing the meal, they left the dining room side by side and headed straight toward
the back gate.
The snow-covered path was clean and tidy, having been diligently cleared by the servants
for several days.
When Julia first arrived here, the landscaping of the Grand Duke’s castle garden wasn’t
pleasing to the eye.
However, ever since Julia showed her will to repair the garden one day, finally the ground
was changed and a greenhouse was built, and now the landscape was especially beautiful.
No words were exchanged between them, except for the sound of footsteps.
She glanced at Fernan, but his face was obscured by the dimness of the sky.
‘How long would it take to fool that man perfectly and escape?’
She wanted to leave here before this winter was over, at least.
After being lost in her thoughts for a while, Julia impulsively grabbed his fingers.
The feel of his hand wrapped around hers made Fernan stop.
Chapter 28
“…Ah..”
She took a step back and tried to pull her hand away, but Fernan grabbed her hand again.
He clasped her hand and looked down at Julia. Then, silently, they started walking again.
Julia looked at him as he walked a little ahead of her, and dropped her gaze with their
linked hands. Even in the cold air, his hand was warm all by itself.
As she felt the warmth from him, Julia suddenly remembered what he said to her.
She had always been a blind and passive wife to him. She was a foolish woman who loved
him desperately, no matter how much it hurts.
Maybe this marriage didn’t become necessary for him, but he was stubborn after she told
him she wanted to divorce.
That was probably why he tried to lock her up in an obsessive way that she had never seen
before.
Julia’s face became determined. If that was the case, she could pretend to love him blindly
like she used to.
It wouldn’t be difficult to act like that, since the thought of him still shone faintly in a corner
of her mind.
Julia’s lips tightened in self-mockery, and she approached him with her expression tightly
held.
Fernan’s eyes shimmered faintly in the moonlight. Julia looked up at him like that and lifted
her lips faintly.
***
Since then, Julia remained faithful and never left Fernan’s side.
As before, she spoke to him meaninglessly and made an effort to spend time with him.
Still, Fernan still seemed unwilling to remove the knights around her.
The knights were ostensibly there to protect her, and she had no reason to ask him to
remove them.
After a few vague days of this, Julia suddenly received an invitation from the Imperial
Palace. The event was to gather the noblewomen together as the due date of the Crown
Princess was approaching. Since Julia was also a member of the imperial family, it became
inevitable that she would have to go to the capital.
Julia let out a small sigh as she was tended by the maids.
If she goes to the capital, she’ll have to meet someone she doesn’t want to see.
Marchioness Elody. Because she had never fallen into such a position.
However, since she had told Fernan that she would not divorce him, she had to fulfill her
duty as the Grand Duchess first. And so, as she finished her preparations and descended the
central staircase, the knights who were assigned to escort her bowed their heads.
The number of knights increased by two. She was going to the capital, so Fernan increased
the surveillance.
As she got into the carriage, the knights followed, escorting her around the carriage as it
was natural.
Sitting alone in such a huge carriage, Julia suddenly remembered the past.
The memory of going to the capital with Fernan. He was that heartless man who only paid
attention to his papers without ever looking at her.
Julia closed her eyes as she leaned her head against the window to get rid of her thoughts.
It took half a day to arrive at the Imperial Palace, which, as usual, boasted a gorgeous and
magnificent landscape.
“Welcome Grand Duchess. Let me show you where you will be staying.”
The schedule was quite long this time and she had to stay alone in the capital for four days.
She made her way to her assigned bedroom and after putting on her banquet dress, she
headed to the reception room just in time.
The Marchioness rushed over with her arms wide open and hugged her daughter.
In the eyes of others, Julia was the lovely daughter of the Marchioness, who was a gentle
mother as always.
It was because the fear of the Marchioness that she had accumulated since she was a child
still lingered in her mind like a scar.
The Marchioness, holding Julia’s hand gently, headed for their reserved seats.
The Crown Princess, the main character of this place, had not yet come.
Julia’s reserved seat was the one closest to the upper seat. As she say down, the noble
ladies who were already seated glanced at her.
Some of them were familiar faces, but unlike before, the way they looked at Julia was
somewhat subtle.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, Grand Duchess. How have you been?”
Even as they exchanged passing greetings, they were silently exchanging glances with each
other.
Julia noticed a mixture of curiosity and mockery in the way they stared at her. Just as she
felt her heart sink looking at them, an attendant informed her that the Crown Princess had
arrived.
All the ladies rose from their seats to greet her. Veronica nodded benevolently and took her
seat at the top.
Veronica was distinctly fuller than she had been when they met at the Founding Festival.
When the atmosphere was ripe with ritualistic conversation, Julia had a short conversation
with Veronica.
“I’m sorry you had to travel so far to be here. But I’m so glad that you’re here.”
“I’m grateful.”
Veronica, who was somewhat hesitant, quietly opened her mouth when Julia showed her a
small smile.
“Did you know that there’s a rumor in the capital, by any chance?”
“A rumor?”
Julia tilted her head with her eyes wide open. Realizing that she knew nothing about it,
Veronica quickly shook her head.
“I shouldn’t have brought it up. It’s a small rumor, so don’t worry about it. Now, the priests
of the Temple of Ilion will be arriving at the Imperial Palace soon. Priest Matheus will come
too.”
Julia was still concerned about the rumor, but she answered as Veronica changed the
subject.
Meanwhile, the eyes of the ladies seated at the other tables were fixed on Julia.
It was in the afternoon when the small party ended. It was only after dinner that Julia could
get out of the banquet hall.
Just as she was about to head back to her designated room with a servant, someone gently
grabbed her wrist. It was the Marchioness.
“It’s a pity we have to part ways like this. Let’s talk some more. Come on, show the way.”
Julia sighed silently as she looked at the Marchioness standing by her side as if it was
natural.
So as they walked together to Julia’s place, the stares around them disappeared. It was then
that the Marchioness finally took off her compassionate mask.
“Do you know what rumors have been circulating in the capital?”
As soon as they arrived at the assigned residence, the Marchioness asked in a harsh voice.
Julia tried to guess what kind of rumor it might be, but nothing came to mind.
She was not a frequent visitor to the capital, nor did she have a close relationship with the
ladies.
“You don’t know?”
“…”
“I knew that the Grand Duke was not very pleased with you, but I did not know that he got
a private mansion. From what I’ve heard, he’s even thinking about divorcing you.”
It was only then that Julia realized what the rumor was and how it started.
It was probably because of Cornelia, the Duke of Blair’s daughter Julia had run into at
Fernan’s private residence a few months ago.
Chapter 29
Cornelia said that she heard the conversation between Julia and Fernan on the day of the
national banquet.
“Why don’t you find someone in advance? Whether it’s someone to soothe loneliness or
someone to go to after divorce.”
Julia remembered the elegant voice that said this while staring at her in front of Fernan’s
private residence.
If Fernan was close to Cornelia, and if the matchmaking was exchanged, it would not be
surprising if she deliberately spread such rumors.
“It’s already been a year and there’s been no news from you, so I had a rough idea… but you
are, and always have been a fool.”
The Marchioness murmured with an expression that made it hard to tell whether she was
angry or mocking.
It was a dual emotion. She was angry at Julia for bringing disgrace to the Elody family, but
at the same time she felt slight satisfaction at seeing her treated as befitting her lowly birth.
Julia didn’t panic, she just closed her eyes slowly as if she was numb.
Even if such rumors were circulating, it didn’t matter now. There was no more reason to be
hurt.
Anyway, she intended to somehow get out of the position of the Grand Duchess before
winter ended. When Julia didn’t show any reaction, the Marchioness frowned heavily.
“How I have lost face in front of the noble ladies because of you…”
“Mother.”
The Marchioness’ eyes narrowed for a moment as her gaze was devoid of any emotion.
Shedding her gentle mask, the Marchioness could not contain her anger. Julia just avoided
looking at her as she raised her hand in the same way the Marquis did the other day.
But the difference between the Marquis and his wife was that the Marchioness’ sense was a
little more sensitive.
Seeing the expression that everything was annoying and exhausting of Julia, the
Marchioness lowered her hand and glared at Julia.
The Marchioness had never seen Julia look like this before.
She had only seen her shrugging, shaking, and just meekly doing as she was told.
At the Marchioness’ words, Julia squeezed her soft palms, but her expression was as calm
as she could be. The Marchioness stared at her for a long time and spoke in a relaxed tone.
“When you step out of the shadow of our family, a woman like you is just a lowborn on the
street.”
Julia will never be free from her oppressive life, that was what the Marchioness meant.
“So don’t dare to climb up blindly, and just do what you’re told to do for the rest of your
usefulness.””
Julia gradually unfolded her hand, which had been tightened. She felt the pain of hitting her
heart violently, but her expression hardened.
“What?”
Julia walked to the door, opened it, and looked back at the Marchioness. As the Marchioness
paused with a look of dismay on her face, Julia quickly called out to a chambermaid who
was passing by over the corridor.
“The Marchioness Elody is leaving, can you show her the way?”
Julia looked at the Marchioness again. When the gaze of the servant reached her, the
Marchioness had no choice but to move her feet.
However, even as she walked out of the room in a bad mood, the Marchioness didn’t forget
to glare at Julia. And so the Marchioness disappeared across the corridor, and Julia closed
the door without hesitation.
***
The first thing on the agenda for the next day was a meeting of the women of the imperial
family.
It was a meeting regarding the banquet and charity events that would be held after the
Crown Princess’s birth. The Empress asked Julia to travel to the capital often in the future.
She was of the opinion that since the Grand Duke was not deeply involved in the affairs of
the capital, it would be preferable for her to maintain a close relationship with the Imperial
Palace even with the Grand Duke.
To her words, Julia answered honestly that she would do that. But it was a promise she
wouldn’t be able to keep.
After that, with some time to spare before the next schedule, Julia went alone to the side
garden of the Palace. In the center of the vast garden was a maze garden of ash trees. Julia
emptied her head as she slowly walked through the maze.
“…ha…”
Julia sighed deeply. Even though it had only been one day, she already felt exhausted.
Returning to the Grand Duchy wouldn’t change that, but it was better than this unfamiliar
Imperial Palace.
When she turned at the corner with a gloomy face, Julia unexpectedly met someone
walking from the opposite side of the path. It was a boy of about ten years old, wearing a
white priest’s uniform.
The boy who spotted Julia smiled at her. The boy had a familiar face. Julia then
remembered she had met him in the temple of Ilion.
It was the young priest who took her to see Matheus that day.
The child greeted her in the same cute voice as then. It seemed that this young priest was
included among the priests who were supposed to come from the temple of Ilion.
Seeing that the child was here, Matheus must have arrived at the Imperial Palace as well.
Before Julia could ask anything, the child spoke as if he could read her mind.
“Master Matheus has gone to the Central Palace. He has some things to prepare for the
Mass that will be held in the afternoon.”
Julia asked gently, meeting the child’s gaze, and gave him a little tap on the head.
The child replied with a soft look in his eyes. Julia smiled gently at how cute he looked and
suddenly held out her hand.
“This garden is complicated and you might get lost. Would you like to walk with me?”
Looking at the offered hand, the boy’s eyes widened for a moment. Then, he smiled and
took Julia’s hand.
“Yes.”
With the little hand in hers, they walked through the maze garden together.
The boy talked about many things. The reason Julia was here was for the Crown Princess’
birth mass, and she would only stay for a week, but Matheus had to stay for over a month.
He then said that he was Matheus’ only disciple and said something cute about being older
than he looked.
Julia asked curiously, and the child seemed hesitant and shook his head.
“It’s not a good time to ask, but I’ll definitely tell you later.”
The child who spoke like an adult was cute, and Julia stroked his hair without realizing it.
The wavy brown hair curled in her hand. The boy with his eyes widened blushed a little in
embarrassment.
Then, when they reached the fountain, the entrance of the maze garden, the boy suddenly
raised his head and looked at Julia.
She spoke politely, worried that the child might ask the other nobles their names, then bent
her knees again and made eye contact.
“…Julia.”
The child mumbled her name as if imprinting it in his head. Then, immediately, he smiled
brightly.
“Of course.”
Since she had to stay in the imperial palace for the next three days anyway, she had a lot of
time to meet the boy and take a walk with the free time in between schedules.
“Priest, then I will see you here again tomorrow at this time.”
“Yes.”
The tight, stuffy feeling seemed to have eased a bit while Julia was with the boy. Julia
grabbed his hand again and left the maze garden.
Knowing in advance the fact that all the women of the imperial family had gathered,
Matheus was not surprised to see Julia.
Facing her for the first time since her visit to the temple, Matheus had a uniformly
compassionate look on his face. There were many implications to his question.
Do you still have the same desire to escape, or is there any problem with your future plans?
“That….”
There were many eyes around to explain everything. Julia eventually gave a normal
answer.
“Yes, thanks to you. And you, Matheus, have you been well?”
“Of course.”
But Matheus, who had already noticed Julia’s dark expression, seemed to have grasped the
situation to some extent.
The fact that she was here at the Imperial Palace was proof that her plans were not going
well.
“Oh…the boy?”
While Julia was nodding her head, a tall man came near them. He was a young priest with
auburn hair and light green eyes.
He sat down as he looked at Julia. For some reason, the smile on the man’s face was familiar
for some reason.
The man asked Matheus for permission. Matheus nodded without hesitation.
Julia looked puzzled, alternating between the man and Matheus, while the man smiled, just
as he had earlier.
“Your Grace, it is now the appointed time, shall we go together to the garden?”
Indeed Julia had an appointment with priest Cedric in the afternoon after mass. Perhaps
that was what the man meant.
Julia nodded gently, thinking that the boy had told the man about his meeting with her.
“…”
Matheus, who was listening to their conversation, had a strange look on his face, but said
nothing.
After the mass, it was time to perform the blessing ceremony for Veronica, so Matheus
greeted Julia first.
“Well then, Julia, I will see you again at the next Mass.”
Nodding, Julia walked out of the mass room with the man.
It was because the man looked an awful lot like that boy yesterday.
The man looked very young, but the question contained a reasonable guess that he, like
Matheus, could change their age and appearance.
Immediately the man began to laugh aloud, covering his mouth. She could see the round
curve of his eyes.
While Julia looked at him with a slightly puzzled face, they soon reached yesterday’s maze
garden.
As they rounded a corner in the middle of the maze, a man suddenly stopped.
Julia stopped and stared at him. He smiled and gently touched the ring on his finger.
“…..what?”
Julia blinked at the unexpected words. At that moment, a green light began to glimmer
momentarily from his ring.
While Julia opened her eyes wide and stared at the figure, the bright light blocked her
vision.
When she closed her eyes reflexively and raised her eyelids slowly, the man standing in
front of her disappeared without a trace.
Instead, standing in front of her was the boy she had met yesterday, Cedric.
“…Huh?”
Julia’s mouth opened as she finally began to grasp the situation a little more.
The child’s delicate features were a perfect match the man’s from earlier. Their eyes and
the color of their hair were the same.
Even the smile was the same.
As Julia stammered and opened her mouth, Cedric, who had a smile, nodded his head.
“Yes, I can change my appearance. What I looked like a while ago is my true form.”
Julia’s eyes went wide as she covered her mouth with her hand.
So, it meant that this child was the same person as the man from earlier.
That was why the child said he was older than he looked. That was also why he had a
mature manner…
While Julia could not hide her surprise, Cedric walked up to her.
“Did I startle you? I wasn’t trying to deceive you, so take it with a grain of salt.”
Julia nodded with a possessed look on her face. It was a moment when she realized once
again the mystery of divine power.
How is this possible? It was difficult to calm down the pounding heart.
Julia finally came to her senses and opened her mouth. Matheus was sure that this child
would help her.
“Master Matheus is the leader of the temple, so it’s difficult for him to leave his seat except
for official business. So…”
Stopping speaking, Cedric suddenly held out his hand. The child flicked his hand lightly as if
spreading something, and a bright light spread over his small hand.
The green divine power spread in his hand, mixing with the wind.
A small bead appeared on the palm of the hand where the light had completely dissipated.
The child held it out to Julia, who was standing there in a daze.
“This is my property. Please place the bead with the pendant.”
“I’ve placed the detailed message inside the bead. Because there are a lot of ears in here.”
Cedric’s voice trailed off and he flicked his hand lightly again. This time, a white daffodil
formed from the light. It was a magical sight. While Julia watched the gesture with an
possessed look on her face, Cedric held out the flower to her.
“Do you know what it is? Holy power is not a power that can be given to just anyone.”
“…”
“Those who have holy power are also those who are loved by God.”
She wondered if Cedric could see the weariness in her eyes. Julia realized that this boy was
comforting her. As she held the daffodil still, Cedric continued to speak slowly.
Julia nodded, remaining silent. The words somehow soothed her tired heart. Cedric’s warm
gaze made her feel like everything was going to be alright at this moment.
***
On the carriage ride back to the estate, Julia took out the bead that Cedric had given her.
As soon as she returned home, she would try to find out what message he had for her right
away.
The other day, Matheus had told her how to use the holy power, but Julia wasn’t sure if she
could handle it properly.
But if Cedric, a skilled priest, could help her, things shall be better now.
Julia closed her eyes as she recalled Cedric’s words as they quietly descended.
As she leaned back against the rattling carriage and emptied her mind, she gradually began
to feel sleepy.
After a long time in this way, it was midnight when they arrived at the castle.
The horseman hurriedly opened the door and waited for Julia to come out. However, after a
long time, there was no movement inside.
The horseman straightened his bent back and glanced inside. Then he saw Julia who was
sleeping deeply leaning against the window.
Fernan, who had an expressionless face, sent the horseman away with his chin gesture.
After the horseman disappeared, Fernan bent down and stepped into the carriage. He then
looked for a moment at Julia, who was sleeping soundly.
Even when Fernan picked her up and stepped out of the carriage, Julia didn’t even open her
eyes.
His arms were completely covered with her warmth. Fernan quietly strode into the castle
with a brighter face.
The anxiety that filled his mind gradually disappeared when he saw Julia safely back home.
Chapter 31
When Fernan returned to his office, the knight who was waiting at the door gave a silent
bow.
While he was inside and seated, the knight immediately reported on the surveillance so far.
“Your Highness, the Grand Duchess did not make any special movements, except for the
four-day banquet schedule.”
Even in the palace, the knights secretly followed Julia’s every movement.
Fernan, who unfolded the documents he was viewing again, nodded as if to say continue.
“It doesn’t seem to be something to worry about again, but she accompanied a priest twice
on her walks.”
“A priest?”
Fernan covered the document and stared at the knight. Nodding, the knight continued.
“Yes, they were the priests who came for the Crown Princess’s birth mass. One was a young
priest and the other was an older priest. The terrain was difficult to get close to, so I
couldn’t eavesdrop on their conversation.”
Fernan nodded casually and made a chin gesture to tell the knight to leave. So far, there
was nothing special about the report.
The knight, with a modest silent bow, quickly left the office.
After the knight disappeared, Fernan’s gaze once again cast his eyes on his papers,
reviewing the delayed report for some time.
After a while, he raised his head just after he had examined all the documents. His eyes
closed slowly. Fernan leaned back and pondered for a moment.
As he remembered what Julia had said to him the other day, a subtle expression appeared
on his face.
Her words shook him for a moment, but he didn’t think that was what she really meant.
Because she might be determined to escape the situation and try to deceive him. Fernan
lightly brushed his face with his large hand.
Not yet. He still wasn’t sure that she was completely by his side. So he had no choice but to
keep an eye on her from an invisible place until he was sure. Fernan closed his heavy
eyelids slowly.
He hadn’t slept well for days, and his eyes were blurry.
****
She heard that Fernan had carried her in from the carriage last night, but she did not show
any reaction.
After letting Melissa out for a while and being left alone, Julia brought out a pendant that
she had kept in a drawer.
She then placed the pendant on top of the bead she had hidden in her chest. It was to
confirm Cedric’s message.
Just as Cedric had said, as the two holy objects met each other, the light gradually began to
spread from the bead.
There was a cracking sound and the bead cracked into pieces. At the same time, small
pieces of glass scattered in the air.
[Monastery in the Ladel district, near the western part of the Grand Duchy’s central
square.]
The letter said that after his stay at the Imperial Palace, Cedric would be staying at that
monastery for a long time.
It was added that if she succeeded getting out of the Duke’s castle, then Cedric would
accompany her directly from then on.
[I will gladly wait for you no matter how long it takes, so please don’t be in a hurry.]
Julia revealed her warm eyes. It was as if she was at the Imperial Palace, and she could hear
the gentle, young voice.
After folding the letter neatly for safekeeping, Julia organized her future plans for a while.
Far from running away, even if she leaves the castle in the name of going out, they will
surely follow her.
She had been trying her best so far, but Fernan still didn’t seem to trust her.
Julia stared into the air with a stiff face. All she could do now was to give Fernan trust.
She had to create a situation where he wouldn’t suspect her even without the knights.
But if that didn’t work, she was willing to risk her reason this time.
It was early in the evening when the snow began to fall heavily on the estate.
Julia, who had finished her meal and was walking up the stairs, was distracted for a while
by the snow falling outside the window.
Julia turned her head and saw a white-haired man. It was the Grand Duke’s long-time
doctor, Lockman.
‘Is he sick?’
When she was no longer talking, Lockman said goodbye politely and then disappeared.
Julia walked up the stairs and was about to enter the hallway where her bedroom was
located, then she stopped.
Somewhat hesitantly, she unexpectedly changed direction to where Fernan’s bedroom was.
Julia stood still in front of his bedroom, which she had arrived at with an incomprehensible
feeling.
She mumbled and turned her body again, shaking her head. It was none of her business
whether he was sick or not.
Just as she calmly walked away like that, I heard a sound like something breaking from
inside.
“Your Highness?”
She hurried to the door and called for Fernan, but there was no answer from inside.
Hesitantly, Julia slowly opened the door. Cautiously stepping inside, she was greeted by a
dimly lit room.
Because of her suddenly darkened vision, she couldn’t distinguish things well.
Julia groped her way closer to the bed. Then she touched something under the small table
next to the bed.
Upon closer inspection, it seemed to be a broken water cup. This was probably the source
of the noise she had heard earlier.
Turning her gaze again, Julia looked at Fernan, who was lying on the bed. He was lying on
his side with his eyes closed.
But looking at his closed eyes, there was a hint of fatigue on his face.
Just as she was wondering if she should call his doctor again, just in case, Fernan tossed and
turned in his sleep.
Julia lowered her head slightly to check his breathing. Hearing the sound of breathing
evenly, he was probably sleeping deeply.
seemed he
Julia nodded and checked his breathing. Looking at his easily flowing sleep, it seemed that
he had slept soundly.
Then Julia looked at the shards of glass scattered on the floor and thought it needed to be
cleaned up.
Julia, who was about to call a maid, stopped abruptly. Then she turned again and looked at
Fernan.
He was lying wearing only a gown and looked a little disheveled, unlike usual. At the same
time, he looked somewhat helpless.
After looking at him for a while, Julia touched his eyebrows. The hand that had been gently
pressing his brows naturally descended to his cheek and quickly fell off.
“Ah!”
Julia froze for a moment as she was held against his chest.
She looked up carefully at his face, wondering if perhaps he had woken up, but he still had
his eyes closed. Julia made a small struggle to get up. But the firm arm that wrapped around
her waist did not falter.
“Your Highness?”
She called him carefully, but there was no slightest movement in his closed eyelids.
Something similar happened last time. Could this be this man’s sleeping habit? Julia tried to
move her body again with a troubled face. As expected, she couldn’t get up easily.
“Ha….”
When she naturally leaned her head against his chest, she could feel his heartbeat through
their attached bodies. For some reason, it seemed to be shaking erratically.
Looking up at him intently, she quickly opened her mouth in a quiet voice.
“Your Highness.”
He still did not reply. Julia caught her breath and opened her mouth again.
“Fernan….”
The first time she said the name out loud, it sounded very unfamiliar.
It suddenly brought back many memories. From the first day she met him as a child to the
day of their wedding.
He would never know what that first meeting meant to Julia, which would not fade with
age.
Or how happy she was to see that warm man in her memory again. The moment she
walked down the marriage road with him, she was happy.
So, although this man’s cruelty was more painful than anything else, she could not easily
forget, even if it was stupid.
Her feelings for him were a treasure that she cherished since childhood.
She wanted to completely get rid of these feelings that were nailing her down, and just live
comfortably, even if it was just for a day. It was a futile hope, but dreaming of such a life
made the present bearable.
Closing her eyes, Julia said over and over again that everything would be fine.
Chapter 32
Fernan, who fell asleep after taking some sleeping pills, woke up when Julia touched his
eyebrows.
All the while, he couldn’t open his eyes for some reason, even when Julia’s soft hand
roamed his face. The sun was rising at dawn, and Julia was asleep, leaning against his chest.
He had thought about it before, but Julia seemed to fall asleep as soon as she leaned her
head against him. Fernan suddenly patted the back of her head. Her soft hair frayed in his
large hand.
Looking down at her, who was completely leaning against him, gave him a sense of
satisfaction as if something was being filled at this moment.
“Fernan…”
The gentle voice that called his name kept ringing in his ears.
With only that soft voice, he felt like all the boundaries were breaking down.
The fact was funny, Fernan thought to himself, and then he stared at the ceiling. The time
Julia had spent trying so hard to escape again became a little empty.
Fernan closed his eyes slowly, his lips lifting slightly without him even knowing it. At least
for that night, they both slept peacefully.
***
It was during this time that Fernan removed all the knights around Julia. They were
following her around everywhere she went, and it annoyed her.
Of course, the knights weren’t removed from the start. They were secretly watching Julia in
plain sight.
This short-lived peace was broken by the arrival of his aide at the Grand Duke’s castle.
“Your Highness!”
Lloyd, who had rushed into the office, reported breathlessly.
Fernan, who was reviewing the documents, immediately left his seat upon hearing Lloyd’s
words.
The demons that had caused the border guards so much trouble over the past few months
had reappeared.
To add to the headache, even the enemy soldiers have joined in.
“It is difficult to ascertain the size of the force. It seems that the knights are not moving
easily because they cannot accurately grasp the base.”
Fernan clicked his tongue lightly. It was troublesome for the demons to appear as a swarm,
but if even the enemy army joined in, the situation would become much more complicated.
Apparently, the remnants of the enemy army, the Renev Kingdom, had moved on a larger
scale than expected.
“Perhaps there was someone in the enemy army who could control demons.”
Fernan mounted his horse without delay. He pulled on the reins and the horse started to
run at a fast speed.
Eventually, after a while, Fernan stopped speaking and changed direction again.
This caused Lloyd, who had stopped, to look up at him curiously, and after Fernan nodded
as if to tell him to go ahead, he headed back to the castle.
After dismounting from his horse, Fernan quickly entered the lobby.
Julia, who was just descending the stairs, spotted him and tilted her head.
“Your Highness?”
Stopping in front of Julia, Fernan hesitated, which was unlike him. Eventually, he spoke
with nervous voice.
Since Fernan had never once given an explanation for his absence, Julia looked at him with
a little surprise.
Julia blinked without saying anything, but soon answered with a worried look on her face.
He had a busy day ahead of him, but when he saw her, it was hard to keep his feet moving.
He would try his best to handle it as soon as possible, but the date and time could change
depending on the size of the enemy army.
He couldn’t be sure that Julia would stay put in the castle while he was gone.
Of course, several knights would be secretly guarding her, he couldn’t relax easily. Then
Julia smiled softly and spoke at his silence.
“I’ll be waiting.”
In the clear eyes that looked at him, his appearance was captured.
Was it true? Fernan wish it was true. There was no way that the transparent eyes that
looked at him were not sincere.
He suddenly remembered her from last night. The way she called his name in her quiet,
gentle voice. Fernan, who was standing still in a dazed mood, stared at her face.
“…Okay.”
There was so much he wanted to say, but he didn’t have time or room to get it all out.
Fernan then turned away with a heavy step. And he gradually let go of the anxiety that had
been weighing on him the whole time.
He decided to believe her. Julia’s clear eyes and quiet voice were all sincere.
***
Kingdom Renev, one of the defeated countries in the last Imperial War. Their remnants
collaborated with other nations and invaded their borders.
As Fernan left with his knights to the border, the castle became somewhat deserted.
After he left, Julia, who had not come out of her bedroom for half a day, emerged in the
afternoon. Passing through the hallway, she headed for a large door with delicately crafted
patterns. This was a bedroom designed for the use of the Grand Duke and his wife together.
Opening the door and stepping inside, Julia stared around the bedroom.
It was a gorgeous and dignified bedroom. However, the interior, which had never been
used, had a quiet and cold atmosphere.
As she crossed the bedroom, she stopped in front of the door that led to the next room. It
was where the wedding gifts and other bridal items were kept.
Fernan and Julia were the only ones who had keys to this door, so no one could enter
without permission.
Julia approached one of the display cabinets and opened a dusty jewelry box.
Inside, there were two rings. They were their wedding rings.
Julia took out her ring and put it on her ring finger.
The ring didn’t fit her hand perfectly, but it wasn’t so loose that it would fall out.
She gave Melissa a few days off, as she had told the head maid the other day.
It was because she was worried about the trouble Melisa would be in if she ran away.
“This is the first time I’ve taken such a long vacation. It’s nice to have this kind of privilege
to work for the Grand Duchess.”
Thinking that today was the last day with Melissa, even though she tried to endure it, her
heart hurt.
Julia squeezed Melissa’s hand and didn’t let go for a while, feeling complicated.
Melissa tilted her head and patted the back of her hand gently.
“I’ll be back. Your Grace needs to eat properly and go for walks. Don’t stay in your room too
much.”
“Yes, I will.”
With that, she walked Melissa out of the castle and watched the carriage move away until
the end.
The warmth that remained in her hands made her feel empty.
With her numb chest finally in order, Julia returned to her bedroom and began to pack.
She decided to leave all the other items behind. Everything else in the castle belonged to
Fernan.
It wasn’t because of her unrequited love for Fernan. Rather, Julia wanted to get rid of
everything, even the very small ones, before she left.
That was why she was going to sell the ring that symbolized her marriage with Fernan.
After all, this ring was a kind of consolation prize for her.
She didn’t know why, but Fernan had removed all the knights around her for the past few
days.
So the only chance to escape was now, when Fernan was not around.
Julia approached the window and stared at the sky as it slowly began to darken. She was
going to leave tomorrow morning.
Chapter 33
Julia chose the morning when everyone was awake so that it would look like a normal day
out.
So she left the castle and headed for the square, the center of the city.
There she changed to her private carriage. It was her intention not to leave any clues.
Once inside the small monastery, a tall man greeted her as if he had been waiting for her.
Julia nodded and stepped towards him. The green eyes looked at her gently.
“Julia, the people who were with you are not your companions, are they?”
“What?”
Julia’s eyes widened at the sudden question. Cedric then nodded as if he understood the
situation.
“There are people who have followed you here. I think they’re armed knights.”
Still widened eyes, Julia looked back at Cedric. Could it be that the knights whom she
thought disappeared was still there?
How could she not have realized that there was a possibility of surveillance behind her
back? Julia touched her lips in annoyance, and Cedric gave her a small smile, as if it was
okay.
“Don’t worry too much. Master Matheus sent me here just in case something like this
happens.”
Eventually, Cedric gestured for her to follow him. Julia nervously followed. It was late in the
evening when the knights noticed strange signs.
After some time, Julia did not come out of the monastery. As the evening deepened, the
knights eventually entered the monastery.
A priest, who was tidying one side of the chapel, approached a knight who was looking
around with a serious face.
“I understand the Grand Duchess of Caesar visited here, where is she now?”
“I am the knight who’s in charge of guarding the Grand Duchess. The time is very late and
she has to go back. Where is she?”
The priest stared at the knight with suspicious eyes, then spoke.
“The Grand Duchess left the monastery before the evening came, sir.”
“What?”
The knight, who was blinking dumbly for a moment, gradually turned pale.
Eventually, the knights asked for the priest’s approval, and then looked around the
monastery for Julia. They even checked the every single priest’s face just to be sure, but
Julia was nowhere to be seen. In the end, the knights left the monastery without any
success, and they scattered and began to search the area.
***
The servants at the Grand Duke’s castle were in a panic due to the hostess not returning.
Bennett hurriedly contacted the border regions, but as they were in a battle, no information
could reach Fernan.
Two more days passed without any progress. It was around that time that communication
reached Fernan. After several all-out wars, the soldiers under Fernan succeeded in
invading the enemy’s base.
As they returned to their base and were finishing up border maintenance, Lloyd rushed
into Fernan’s barracks.
“Your Highness!”
Fernan, who was wiping his bloody sword, casually turned around. Lloyd, who was
catching his breath, struggled to open his mouth.
Before Lloyd could continue, Fernan snatched the letter in his hand. His eyes gradually
hardened as he read the contents. The letter stated that Julia had gone out two days ago
and had not been seen since.
“…the letter arrived two days ago, so the Grand Duchess has been missing for four days.”
Fernan fixed his gaze only on the letter, as if he couldn’t figure out the situation. He couldn’t
believe Julia disappeared.
After standing motionless for a while, Fernan handed the letter Lloyd. His dim eyes
revealed, Fernan strode out, speechless.
“Your Highness?”
Lloyd, who was urgently trying to catch Fernan, paused. It was because he realized that his
lord was unusual.
With those last words, Fernan left the barracks and headed for the place where his horse
was kept. With a lean gesture, he mounted the horse and took off.
Fernan had a calm face, as if he didn’t realize the situation. Suddenly, the last time he saw
Julia’s face came to his mind.
“I’ll be waiting.”
The blue eyes that smiled and looked at him clearly contained no lies.
Fernan had no choice but to think like that and tighten his grip on the reins. The road from
the border to the estate took at least half a day.
The anxiety that came at once filled his heart. His heart began to beat like crazy.
***
Fernan finally arrived at the estate in the morning. As soon as he returned, he began to
search the estate.
He summoned the knights who had lost Julia at the monastery and interrogated them.
“Tell me the details of the situation, where and how you lost her.”
“I’m sorry, Your Highness, but we didn’t take our eyes off the Grand Duchess for a moment.
So i don’t know when Her Grace disappeared…”
“I asked you how and where you lost her! You dare to make excuses!”
Fernan shouted with a look as if he was about to pull out his sword. The knights, who
shrank, urgently answered.
“Ladel district?”
“Yes, I saw definitely Her Grace enter the monastery, but strangely enough, she didn’t come
out when the evening passed. I went in directly to check, but the priest said she left the
monastery long ago….”
Fernan replied slowly, glaring at the mumbling knights with murderous eyes.
“The priests of the monastery may be involved, so find traces even if you have to arrest
them.”
“Yes, yes!”
The knights left for the monastery again and Fernan headed to Julia’s room.
The undisturbed and tidy room had a slight chill in it, probably because it had been empty
for several days.
Fernan went through everything, from the bedroom to the dressing room to the bathroom.
However, there was no way to know what disappeared.
Biting his lip in complication, Fernan suddenly remembered Julia’s personal maid.
He immediately went outside and called Bennett to inquire about the whereabouts of the
maid, to which Bennett replied with a somewhat troubled look.
“That’s the thing… the maid is currently on vacation at her parents’ house.”
Fernan’s brow furrowed. She took a leave of absence at this point, of all times.
Fernan, who was hold the railing with the momentum of breaking it, tried to calmly order.
“Yes, yes.”
Bennett, who hurriedly bowed, disappeared downstairs, and Fernan began to quietly sort
out the situation.
Everything was dubious. The servant who went on vacation as if to accommodate Julia’s
disappearance. The knights who foolishly lost Julia, who was in front of their eyes.
However, it was Julia herself who disappeared during his absence that was the most
difficult to explain. As such, Melissa’s return came not more than a few hours later.
Melissa’s face went pale, as if in shock. She returned to the castle as soon as she got the
news from Bennett, throwing away what she was doing.
“Tell me all you know. Did you notice any strange signs in Julia?”
“That, that…”
Melissa forced her white, annihilated head to remember. She was afraid of Fernan in front
of her, and she was very worried about Julia, who disappeared.
Melissa’s lips quivered in thought, but she soon answered with a stammer.
“And.”
“And…”
Melissa, who closed her eyes, suddenly remembered something and slowly continued.
“The day I left… I saw her come out of the bedroom on the second floor. I have never seen
her go in there before….”
Fernan’s eyes narrowed. The bedroom on the second floor was built for them to share.
It was also a place he had never used before. After passing Melissa, Fernan headed straight
for the second floor. Then he saw that the door was locked and swore wildly.
He quickly entered the next room, searching madly for storage boxes and shelves. Inside a
gorgeously decorated jewelry box, one of the grooves was empty.
Fernan took out a ring that was inlaid in the remaining groove. It was his wedding ring,
with a gem in the middle.
Chapter 34
It was only half a day after Fernan’s return that Julia’s trail was found.
It was near the border to another land. It was there that the knights, who were confirming
the identities of the territory people, recognized her face.
Due to the crowds of people, Julia escaped, but some knights soon caught up with her and
succeeded in tracking down the carriage in which she was riding.
‘You said you’ll stay by my side, smiling and talking, said you’ll be waiting for me, but you ran
away.’
With her eyes clear and transparent as always, and her face innocent as if she knew
nothing.
Fernan stared into space with an unfocused gaze and soon clenched his fists. He felt a
burning sensation in his chest.
He stood silently for a long time, then turned at the sound of the door opening.
Lloyd, who entered, opened his mouth with a slightly complicated look on his face.
“Your Highness, according to the servant’s words…. the only thing that disappeared in the
Grand Duchess’s room was a few pieces of clothing.”
He ordered the servants to check Julia’s room, but he had no idea that she only took a few
clothes with her when she fled…
Julia left him in his castle, leaving behind all that he had offered her.
She was trying to erase the time she had lived here as his wife. She dared to hope that she
would be forgotten by him forever.
With a turbulent gaze, Fernan stared out the window. Before he knew it, it was snowing
outside. He looked out the window for a while and thought. Julia would be back to her place
soon.
The knights would continue to track her, and as long as she could not leave the territory,
she had no choice but to be caught.
But the impatience that kept rising continued to scratch his nerves.
Even though he tried her best to stay calm, he just couldn’t calm this feeling down.
As his wife, she had to be by his side and feel his pain even when she was sick. Even if it was
painful, she had to suffer in front of his eyes.
“Your Highness!”
Fernan asked back in a sharp tone, and the knight, who had been panting for a long time,
continued to speak gibberish.
“We have confirmed that Her Highness was indeed in the carriage, but after we surrounded
the carriage, we checked again and she wasn’t there. We had no idea what was going
on…ah!”
In the blink of an eye, Fernan pulled out his sword as he approached the knight. A sharp
look fell on his face, as if he was about to cut off his head.
“Don’t say nonsense and say it right. Where did she disappear?”
“We are continuing to search nearby, but there are no witnesses and no whereabouts…”
“You b*st*rds.”
“Yes, sir!”
He clenched his teeth. He should never have entrusted the job to those incompetents in the
first place.
“Your Highness, I’m sure Her Highness has helpers. It doesn’t make sense how she was able
to escape in the presence of that many knights.”
Lloyd, who was following Fernan, spoke cautiously. At that moment, a scene unexpectedly
flashed through Fernan’s mind.
A few months ago, the priest of Ilion, who came to bless the castle, seemed quite close with
Julia.
He didn’t know why the priest suddenly came to mind at this moment, but before Fernan
could think deeply about anything else, he immediately gave an order.
“Lloyd, go to the Temple of Ilion and find the priest, who blessed the castle. She might be
hiding there, so search carefully.”
“Yes, sir!”
If the priest had helped Julia escape, he surely would have used his holy power.
If he used his power, Julia would be able to her presence and distract his (Fernan) eyes for
a while.
A blue vein appeared on the back of his hand as he held the reins. The mere thought that
Julia might be with someone filled him with an indescribable anger.
But underneath was a hatred for himself, because he had been so cruel to her all this time.
“Why are you doing all this…? Are you just being cruel to me to the end?”
Julia’s tearful voice grazed his ears. Fernan bit his lip.
He knew. He knew that Julia’s leaving was ultimately something he brought on himself.
***
She managed to get rid of the knights, but it was still too early to be relieved.
“Ha…”
Entering a deserted alley, Julia grabbed her chest and breathed heavily.
Her appearance, inside the hood, had now changed into a completely different person. With
Cedric’s help, he temporarily changed her appearance, but she probably wouldn’t be able to
maintain this state for long.
“You’ve already used your power quite a bit, so if you use more strength, your body
won’t be able to handle it.”
“Perhaps we should cooperate with them honestly and then try again for a later date.”
“I can do anything. I’ve been prepared from the start that things could get dangerous.”
Seeing the earnest look on her face, Cedric was silent for a while. After a long silence, he
eventually nodded.
“Julia, if you cross the southern border here, you will find a place there called Helios
Monastery.”
Cedric held Julia’s hand tightly and infused her with his power, transforming her
appearance.
“If you can escape them, go there. I’ll be waiting for you.”
After catching her breath, Julia began move her feet again. The pendant on her neck made a
small rustling sound.
Perhaps it was because she had used so much energy, her heart has been throbbing and
hurting since earlier.
Using holy power comes with its own price, so her body may have already begun to go
wrong.
She could guess her condition by her face, which was rapidly becoming paler than before.
Jukia went out into the street again, looked around, and froze in place.
He had been riding fast on his horse and stopped for a moment at the surging crowd. Julia
hurriedly walked with her head down.
Her heart began to beat faster. How could he be back so soon after he went on the
expedition?
Julia walked along the crowd, her hood pulled up tightly over her head. He wouldn’t be able
to notice her, but still her anxious steps accelerated as if being chased.
The first thing she had to do was get on the carriage and leave the area.
“Julia!”
There was no way he could recognize her. She looked like a completely different person…
How on earth… Julia was unconcerned and at the same time quickly headed for the carriage
station. But soon after, he grabbed her by the shoulders.
Fernan, who turned her around, pulled back her hood.
“…!”
She had to face him still, unable to avoid his gaze. Goosebumps broke out all over her body.
Fernan, who was staring at her as if he was devouring her, quietly recited.
“What the…”
He frowned as he realized he was mistaken, and let go of her shoulders. Taking advantage
of the gap, Julia faltered and stepped back. She felt like her mind had gone blank.
It was the moment when she was about to turn away completely, the shocked expression
was still on her face, Fernan suddenly grabbeb her arm.
Staring at the pendant necklace on her neck with a fluttering gaze, he cut the string without
mercy.
Chapter 35
“Ah….”
The pendant string fell into pieces, leaving only the jewel in his hand.
Soon, a light filled with holy power spread around Julia. At the same time, her appearance
gradually returned to its original state.
“Ha..”
Julia murmured with a puzzled look on her face. How in the world he was able to recognize
her?
Now she was even more frightened of this man. She felt like no matter what she did, she
could not escape him.
Fernan gripped the pendant in his hand tightly as if to break it, and opened his mouth
gently.
The pendant had lost its light. Matheus didn’t tell her about this when the pendant was cut
off, but she knew instinctively.
That the remaining power in the pendant was absorbed into her heart.
Maybe that was why her heart felt hot and tingling as if it was burning. The over-absorbed
power began to rampage as if it wanted to escape from this narrow space.
Fernan pulled Julia’s hand roughly. She bit her lip as she stared at the knights surrounding
her.
There was nothing more she could do. Without saying anything, she was led by Fernan’s
hand.
He picked her up in one fluid motion on the saddle, then naturally climbed in behind her.
“Julia.”
His low voice sank. The hand pulled her waist closer was somewhat persistent.
Julia stared at his large hands for a moment, then quickly averted her gaze.
They left the city center and entered the forest leading to the city walls.
Julia looked around, clearing her complicated mind. The trees were thick around the snow
covered path.
“Your Highness.”
Quickly opening her mouth in a quiet voice, Julia turned her face sideways and looked at
him.
The words were meant to catch him off guard, but her face was pale at first glance.
It was because the pain in her heart had suddenly become much worse after the pendant
was cut off.
Fernan watched her without saying a word, but gradually slowed down. Then, having
stopped completely, he said something to the approaching knight.
Julia gave a small nod. As she turned to get off the horse, Fernan, who had gotten off first,
gave her a light hug.
She moved her eyes and looked around. It was to find a way to escape.
Her hands flinched. How on earth could he know that much? Julia dropped her gaze and hid
her puzzled face.
“…”
“If you don’t want to answer, do so. Because I can arrest all of them and ask.”
This time, it was Cedric, not Matheus, who had helped her, but if Fernan dug deeper,
Matheus would be harmed.
She couldn’t do harm to those who helped her out of pure goodwill.
Fernan looked down at her with narrowed brows. Julia faced him straight on and began to
speak.
Until now, she still did not understand why he would go to such lengths to get her back.
Fernan was silent for a while, and then spoke coldly.
“Are there men who would sit still when their wives disappeared?”
Julia lost her words. It was because the word “wife” he uttered felt stranger than any other
word at this moment.
Julia struggled to get up. Then she walked along the road, ignoring Fernan who followed
behind her.
There was a fierce river flowing beneath it. Her eyes became determined as she looked
over the cliff. Perhaps this was the most certain way out.
As she continued walking, Fernan called out to her in a faint voice. Julia didn’t answer and
searched her pocket. A small blade appeared in her hand.
She had hidden it in her robe all this time just in case, but she didn’t expect to use it like
this. Julia turned around and pulled out a knife with a firm face.
She wouldn’t scare him with a mere thing like this, but she could stall him for a while.
“You…”
Fernan couldn’t help but stare at her with slightly puzzled expression..
“Don’t come any closer. If you get any closer, I’m really going to stab you…”
As if he was sure that she wouldn’t stab him, Fernan took a few large steps forward, and
Julia flinched and stepped back.
Biting her lip, Julia glared at him as he approached and changed the direction of her blade.
The knife that had been aimed at him was now aimed at herself.
Fernan paused, glaring at her with a cold face. Julia stepped backwards nonchalantly.
Red blood flowed down from her neck because she didn’t adjust her strength. But strangely
enough, she didn’t feel any pain at all.
While he was unable to approach hastily, Julia’s steps gradually approached the end of the
cliff.
Fernan slowly stepped back, as if he was not going to get any closer.
Fernan stared at her with a pale face and immediately opened his mouth in a cracked voice.
He was trembling. It was hard to believe that he was such a cold and heartless husband.
The blade on her neck, the footsteps on the edge of the cliff, and Fernan’s pleading cries
were all unfamiliar.
At that moment, the scattered snow began to intensify. Julia heard footsteps. Behind
Fernan, knights were seen running.
Julia, who were watching them absentmindedly, slowly engraved his face in her eyes for
the last time. She knew that if it was not now, she would never be able to escape from him
forever. Maybe she would start to love him again.
Julia stepped back a little. Her body, which was already halfway to the edge of the cliff, lost
its balance and slowly collapsed.
“Julia!”
Looking at Fernan rushing in desperately, Julia jumped off the cliff. At the last minute, she
could see the knights holding on to Fernan as he jumped after her.
Julia slowly closed her eyes. Her body, which was falling at a fast speed, sank deep into the
cold river.
At the same time, the divine power that flowed out of her heart began to envelop her body
slowly.
Chapter 36
“Your Highness! What are you doing! Hurry up and grab him!”
About four knights grabbed Fernan, who had lost his reason, and pulled him over from the
edge of the cliff.
Even then, he was unruly, so it was only when several more people pulled him that they
were finally able to bring him to a safe zone.
As Fernan, who had thrown the knights violently, tried to jump off the cliff again, the
knights shouted as they blocked him with their whole bodies.
Fernan, who was caught by the knights, stared down the cliff with a mad gaze.
Water current, roughened by the winter wind, in a dark river with no visible bottom.
It was difficult for anyone to survive a crash from such a height. Even if they had barely
survived, they would not be able to swim in this strong current, and there was a high
probability that they would die of hypothermia after a while.
Unable to control his soaring emotions, he hurried past the knights and mounted his horse.
The knights rushed after him, who was riding without hesitation.
“…Julia, please.”
From the moment Julia pointed the knife at her neck, Fernan could not keep his composure.
He didn’t think for a minute that she would throw herself off the cliff.
No, he was scared. He saw the blood flowing from her neck, and he was afraid that if he got
too close, she would pierce that thin neck…
So he stopped. He thought it’d be okay if he didn’t get closer. She would stop then…
But Julia defied his expectations and threw herself down without hesitation.
The figure was painted before his eyes one after the other like afterimages.
Fernan stared ahead like someone who had lost half of his mind. His lips began to tremble.
He lost all sense of reality. He couldn’t turn his head as if it was frozen in place.
It all seemed like a dream. The sight of Julia falling in front of him, and the faint smile on her
face at the end.
They searched all over the forests and towns leading downstream from the river, and even
in the nearby areas. However, Julia was nowhere to be found.
The severe cold weather continued, and even a blizzard began to blow over the territory.
Julia would freeze painfully even if she was in it for only a short while in that river.
***
Fernan looked down at the damp robe for a long time. There was no light in his eyes.
“Your Highness, we will search the remaining areas. So please take a break even if it’s just a
little bit….”
He had a look on his face that made it impossible to tell what he was thinking.
The hem of Julia’s robe as he looked at it was torn in places and was in a bad condition.
Perhaps Julia’s condition was even more terrible, but no one could bring it up.
“Your highness, if you’re going to continue your search, you have to take care of yourself
first. Don’t you know?”
Eventually, Lloyd, Fernan’s aide, approached and spoke as calmly as he could.
Everyone was tired from the day and night of continuous searching, but Fernan’s condition
was the most serious of all.
He had been searching for Julia for half a month without taking any rest.
Fernan took off his steps without answering. Lloyd sighed as he watched him return to
where the horse was tied.
Because it was Lloyd who had realized the most that his lord’s feelings for Julia had
changed.
Fernan who had never once been shaken by anything, so the small changes were much
more visible.
The fact that he had taken his wife into his heart one step later was clear to Lloyd. Despite
the fact that she was the daughter of the Marquis of Elody, whom he despised so much.
He had lost her before he was even aware of those confused emotions, so it wasn’t as if he
couldn’t understand how his lord felt. But…
The look of Fernan’s back was firm and unshakable. However, in Lloyd’s eyes, it only
looked dangerous.
***
They searched the entire territory. It was time to find at least a body.
However, Julia disappeared without leaving any trace, as if she had evaporated on the spot.
Fernan, who had been searching like a madman for almost a month without a pause, was in
a critical condition just by looking at him.
As if he had completely blocked out the assumption that Julia was dead, Fernan roamed the
whole area like a madman. A knight approached Lloyd and asked. Lloyd, who was agonizing
over it, shook his head.
“Let’s wait and see first. His Highness is also a human being, so he will not be able to
overcome the fatigue of his body at this point.”
But even as he said this, days passed and Fernan’s persistence was as firm as ever. Lloyd let
out a heavy sigh that made the ground cave in as he watched Fernan ride his horse in a
dangerous manner. Lloyd eventually called out to Fernan, who had gotten off his horse and
was checking the search area.
“Your Highness.”
Lloyd spoke stoutly to Fernan, who did not even turn around.
“It’s been a month since we searched for Her Highness. We have searched all the forests
around the city walls and even the nearby villages.”
“…”
“We must now prepare to accept. The Grand Duchess’ chances of survival are.. ….”
Then, Fernan, who had finally turned his head, pulled out his sword.
Lloyd squeezed his eyes shut when he saw the sword pointed at his neck, but he didn’t stop
speaking.
“The knights are exhausted. If we are going to continue the search, please give them enough
rest first.”
In any case, the knights were taking turns in the search, so it wasn’t actually too much for
them.
So to make him rest, Lloyd had to mention the knights because it was useless to convince
him at this moment.
Fernan was silent with dark eyes and soon opened his mouth.
“Take everyone back with you. I’ll do the search alone.”
Fernan, having put away his sword, stepped forward again. Lloyd, looking dazed, put his
hand to his forehead and quickly followed.
Fernan looked fine at first glance, but Lloyd’s eyes could clearly see that he was walking
dangerously differently than before.
It was at that moment that Lloyd, who was following him, stopped in an instant.
“Your Highness!”
While the startled Lloyd was running quickly, Fernan’s body collapsed.
It was less than half a day later when Fernan woke up.
His blurry gaze stared at the ceiling and then quickly went to the small fragrant incense
that was placed beside him. It was an incense used to induce sleep.
As he raised his body at once, he realized that this was his bedroom.
The attending physician, Lockman, approached and examined Fernan’s complexion. Even
in the midst of being drowsy on sleeping incense and dazed, Fernan muttered calmly.
“Why am I here?”
“…Your Highness was exhausted during the search. You haven’t been eating properly for a
long time, and lack sleep, so you’re not feeling well.”
“Julia….”
Fernan recited Julia’s name in a half-crazed manner. Lockman, who was looking at him in a
complicated way, opened his mouth calmly.
“Your Highness, you must first get some rest. Leave the rest of the search to the knights,
even if it’s only for a few days……”
Ignoring Lockman’s words, Fernan got out of the bed and staggered across the room.
It was amazing that he could walk so normally when he was drowsy on medicinal sleeping
incense. Perhaps it was only his obsession to find his wife that made him endure.
Bennett, the butler, and the servants bowed their heads as he descended the stairs without
wavering and entered the lobby.
He did not look at anyone, and opened the door without hesitation.
Chapter 37
“Your Highness, where are you going?”
Lloyd, who was waiting outside the castle, stood in front of Fernan.
“Didn’t you hear what the doctor said? Rest first. Knights are continuing to search the land,
so don’t be too anxious….”
Fernan suddenly opened his mouth. He had forgotten about it for a while, as he had been so
absorbed in his search that he became distracted.
There was a good chance that that priest in the temple was involved in Julia’s escape.
“Yes, but priest Matheus stayed in the imperial palace at the time of the Grand Duchess’s
disappearance. Perhaps he was not directly involved in her escape.”
“I’m sure she had helpers. It’s possible that they have Julia with them.”
“Yes, I’ll look into that matter again. So Your Highness, go back in and….”
Fernan moved quickly to his feet. If he pursued the priest, he might be able to get a clue to
Julia’s whereabouts. At once Fernan jumped on his horse. His vision blurred for a while due
to the residual effects of the sleeping potion, but he just pulled the reins. He couldn’t waste
a second. He had to go find Julia right now to make up for the time he lied down in a daze.
He had to look for her.
***
Julia had left everything behind and fled, and Matheus had no idea where she was now or
what she was doing. Cedric, who directly assisted Julia in her escape, reported that he sent
her alone because the situation was not favorable on the way.
What happened to her after that, Cedric said, he did not know.
She may have returned to the castle, or she may have succeeded in escaping safely.
He could only hope that she was safe wherever she was.
At that moment, he heard a quiet voice along with a pounding on the door.
By the time Matheus, half awake, turned around, someone opened the door and revealed
himself.
“Your Highness.”
In contrast to his unstoppable steps, Fernan’s face looked like he was about to collapse.
Seeing his appearance, Matheus could guess that Julia had succeeded in escaping.
Because there was no reason for him to come this far.
Matheus looked at him strangely as Fernan spat out his purpose of coming here without
further explanation.
“I came here knowing that you were the one who gave Julia the pendant, it would be best if
you didn’t make any excuses.”
Fernan frowned.
“…”
“It is true that I gave Lady Julia the pendant filled with holy power, but I do not know where
she is either.”
But Matheus was really innocent, so he just faced Fernan with serenity. Soon Fernan
continued in a fierce tone.
“…”
“There must have been some part of her that believed. A belief that she could somehow
survive.”
“…”
She must have been sure that she would survive, whether it was holy power or not.
Matheus, who had been thinking about something while looking at the sky for a while,
opened his mouth with a serious expression.
Fernan’s brow wrinkled. He took the pendant from Julia at the time he first found her.
Matheus’s face grew darker as he read the reply from Fernan’s expression.
“If she had kept it close to her heart, she might have somehow survived by using the
power…”
“…”
Julia was able to use holy power thanks to the holy power of Matheus, which resided in her
heart from birth.
The pendant was a medium of sorts, and it was only when it was placed near her heart and
resonated with the power of her voice that she was able to use it.
Since Matheus could not be with her every moment, he gave her a medium to help her use
her own holy power.
Still, he couldn’t relax, so he sent Cedric to help her, and after leaving Cedric, she must have
acted on her own judgment about the situation.
“…”
“Whatever it was, Julia only wanted one thing.”
“…”
If Julia had really lost her life, the holy power that resided in her heart would have returned
to its original owner, Matheus himself.
He hadn’t seen any sign of that until now, so Julia was probably still alive.
Looking at Fernan, who was standing there without a single movement, Matheus quietly
examined him.
He had no intention of letting him know this fact. It would be more useful for Julia, who was
still alive somewhere.
Immediately after Fernan left the temple, Matheus was lost in thought with a dark
expression. He tried to think of a place where Julia might be, but he couldn’t come up with a
clear answer.
Looking at the sunset through a small window gap, he soon opened his eyes wide.
A white messenger bird flew in from the distance and landed at the window.
Matheus, who looked brighter, slowly untied the cloth from the bird’s leg.
When he unfolded the cloth, he saw the short sentence “I have found Julia” written in an
urgent handwriting.
***
It felt like she had a long dream after being submerged in the river.
It was a hopeless dream, drowning in a sea of darkness all around, struggling helplessly.
She felt like she couldn’t get out of it, sinking deep into the endless deep sea.
At that moment, a ray of light fell on her. At the same time, a strange sensation enveloped
her body, and her choked breath quickly subsided.
This was how the dream ended. Julia’s eyelids began to slowly open.
“Priest Cedric.”
When she murmured quietly, Cedric finally breathed a sigh of relief and nodded.
Julia slowly blinked and looked around. It was an unfamiliar place, an unfamiliar bed.
She was in a daze for a while, but soon asked in a faint voice.
“Where am I?”
Chapter 38
Cedric’s face darkened for a moment as he watched Julia mumble.
“…”
‘I came all the way here…’ Julia, tracing her memories vaguely, slowly raised herself up.
At the same time, a shattering pain came over her entire body.
“Ah….!”
Starting from her heart and spreading throughout her body, the pain made it hard for her
to even breathe.
Julia barely breathed as she grabbed her chest, which was shaking violently as if it was
boiling. Cedric took her hand and hurriedly using his healing power.
Cedric’s gaze touched her body. So far, there were no visible injuries. If there were internal
injuries, his healing power should be able to treat them, but even that was useless….
After he told her how to get to Helios Monastery, they parted and Cedric spent the day
trying to distract the knights.
After that, he arrived safely at the monastery and waited for Julia, but she did not show up
even after a long time.
So a long time passed, a month. Cedric guessed that she might have been caught by them
and returned to her original position.
However, contrary to his speculation, Julia was found collapsed in the front yard of the
monastery the very next day.
“Ha…”
Cedric, who had erased his recollections, bit his lip as he stared at Julia moaning.
There was nothing he could do, so he just held her trembling hands.
“Ah….ah….”
The pain began to lessen little by little, and her eyes, which had been dim, gradually lit up.
Cedric waited until Julia’s breathing calmed down, and then he asked with concern.
The last thing she remembered was a deep immersion in the cold river after throwing
herself down the cliff.
The cold water current hit her body, and she fainted right after.
“I tried to escape and jumped off the cliff. I don’t even know how I got here…”
Julia, who was explaining in a faltering voice, put her hand on her forehead.
That was a territory that bordered the Grand Duke’s domain. However, it was a long way
from the cliff to the river, near the castle walls.
Cedric listened intently to her interminable speech and dropped his gaze as if he had an
idea of what she was talking about.
“…Yes.”
Technically, she didn’t lose it, Fernan had taken it from her, but Julia didn’t add that.
Only after hearing her answer did Cedric open his mouth with a hint of hesitation.
“My opinion is that… I think that Julia instinctively used your power-saving ability when
you fell off the cliff.”
“…”
That was, if she used her healing power to protect herself and then used her movement
ability to move from place to place at once.
The question was how she was able to use her holy power without a medium, but now was
not the time to think about that.
She had used enough holy power to save her life, so her body must be severely damaged
now.
“Yulia, did you do this because you thought you could live?”
“…”
Julia’s pale lips quivered as Cedric, who had asked with a worried look, was unable to
continue.
“That….”
In fact, she thought she might die. She thought it didn’t matter if she died like this.
It would be a hell of a lot worse for her to be taken back to Fernan and live as an abandoned
Grand Duchess.
She didn’t want to go back to being the daughter of the Marquis, which she hated more than
death.
Reading the reply out of the silence, Cedric hastily opened his mouth.
“Get some more rest first, Julia. When you have recovered sufficiently, you must leave the
Empire.”
According to Matheus’ messenger bird that arrived yesterday, the Grand Duke was
currently searching for Julia in all directions.
This place was not too far from the Grand Duke’s territory, so for now, the first priority was
to leave the Empire as soon as possible.
***
Even after visiting the temple, Fernan didn’t stop searching for Julia.
Matheus said that he could not be sure if she was alive or dead. His words included the
assumption that Julia might be dead.
Fernan, however, blocked out all negative thoughts and immersed himself only in the
search for traces of Julia.
It was then that the news of Julia’s disappearance was brought to the capital.
The first person who heard the news was her father, the Marquis of Elody.
After coming to the grand duke’s castle, the Marquis shouted loudly with a startled look on
his face.
“I know you’re surprised, but please calm down first. Currently, the Grand Duchy’s knights
are searching all the territories for Her Highness.”
“Grand Duke! Did the Grand Duke deliberately hide my daughter? Otherwise, that quiet girl
wouldn’t just disappear.”
The Marquis was shouting so loudly that his neck turned bright red. Then he immediately
caught Lloyd by the chest and shouted threateningly.
The Marquis gasped, unable to hold back his anger. His red face, which seemed to burst,
soon returned to its original state.
After nervously shoving Lloyd away, he began to search the castle like a madman.
In the Marquis’ head now, there was an assumption that Fernan had hidden Julia on
purpose.
No, she wasn’t hidden, but she might have been removed without anyone knowing.
Fernan himself was the one who had complained so much about this marriage from the
start!
“No!”
After a few moments of searching, he angrily began to throw at random the artifacts that
decorated one side of the lobby.
The startled servants fled in terror, and Lloyd hastily stopped the Marquis.
Finally, he led the Marquis to the parlor and locked the door.
The servants hurriedly cleaning up the lobby, which was in disarray after a rough storm. It
was the next day when Fernan returned from receiving a communication.
Lloyd, who seemed to have aged in a day, reported without energy. Fernan opened the
parlor door immediately without reply.
The Marquis, who jumped up and tried to shout, paused for a moment.
It was because Fernan’s condition seemed unusual to the extent that he forgot his anger at
the moment.
Fernan, who had taken a seat, looked at the Marquis with an empty gaze. The Marquis
narrowed his eyes and slowly sat down.
“So, did you find Julia? She’s been missing for 2 months now. Don’t you think you should at
least pretend to be looking for her?”
Fernan only stared at the Marquis as if he couldn’t hear anything. At the empty gaze, the
Marquis frowned and shouted loudly.
“Answer me! Did you deliberately drive my daughter away? Are you trying to destroy this
marriage and confront His Majesty?”
“…”
“I will inform His Majesty of the details! You seem to be under the impression that His
Majesty might abandon me if this marriage is broken…!”
The Marquis didn’t show the slightest bit of concern for Julia. He was just angry at the
situation and afraid that his position would be narrowed.
When he found out that Julia was an illegitimate child of the Marquis… No, when he found
out that the Marquis dared to hit Julia, he should have killed him immediately.
Even though he had fully guessed how much Julia had suffered from her father, he was
distracted by the divorce and forgot the order.
Fernan grabbed the Marquis by the collar and threw him to the stone floor.
“Ah!”
He couldn’t even get up, and only painful grunts spread through the parlor.
Fernan looked down at the Marquis with eyes full of murderous intent.
He had to kill this man and make sure he would never talk with that dirty mouth again.
“Your Highness!”
Lloyd, who came inside after hearing a scream, shouted in shock. He hurriedly grabbed
Fernan to stop him, but it was useless.
Lloyd blocked Fernan with his whole body, but Fernan pulled out his sword after removing
Lloyd roughly.
As such, it was the moment when he was about to cut the Marquis’ head with a single
strike.
The image of her standing on the edge of the cliff, holding the knife to her thin neck, filled
his eyes for a moment.
Blood flowed from her white neck, but her face was so nonchalant, as if she didn’t feel the
pain.
The image of her smiling faintly and throwing herself down the cliff without hesitation was
so vivid that it was painful to watch.
Fernan’s lips began to tremble faintly. At this moment, he had no choice but to realize.
He realized that he too was no different from the Marquis.
He had hurt Julia, he drove her to the edge of a cliff when she tried to escape. Even though
he was like that, he was disgusted to the point of losing his mind at this moment, himself
trying to kill the Marquis for her.
Taking advantage of the opportunity when Fernan’s movements stopped, Lloyd managed
to push his body away.
The Marquis, who was writhing in pain, was finally able to get out of his grasp, but his face
on the floor was horribly bloody.
After crouching down trembling, he crawled on the floor and left the parlor bloodily.
He held onto the railing with his trembling hands. The waiting servants were surprised to
see the Marquis, whose face had turned pale and bloody, and their mouths dropped open.
The Marquis walked down the stairs in a dazed manner, as if he didn’t even have the
energy to feel shame.
“Your Highness…”
Lloyd called Fernan in a distracted voice. Then he checked his expression and fell silent.
Lloyd turned his head like a man who had never seen anything, in the weak appearance of
the lord he had never seen.
Clink.
As such, the Marquis left as if to flee, and for a while there was a gloomy silence in the
Grand Ducal Castle. It was not until some time after the Marquis had left that Fernan came
out of the parlor.
Heading off somewhere with precarious steps, Fernan stopped at the end of the corridor.
The place where he stopped was in front of Julia’s bedroom. Creak, Fernan opened the door
and stared into the cold, empty room.
Even though the room had been empty for quite a while, it was not much different from
before Julia disappeared. On the table there were some books that Julia had read and an
empty vase.
Fernan just stood there, not touching anything, not taking any action. For such a long time,
he stared dimly at one wall. Only the memories wrapped around his empty head.
“Your Highness…..”
The trembling voice, the watery blue eyes that looked up at him.
It was the day that he thought Julia tried to give him an aphrodisiac.
He stared at Julia, who was frightened and saying she was innocent, while he poured the
potion on her dress in a threatening manner.
He did not listen to her that day, even though he could see the reddening of her eyes as she
cried.
There was no expression on his face, and a moment of vexation appeared on his face.
Whenever he tried to remember Julia in this way, he only remembered her hurt face.
He only gave her raw impression that he wanted to get rid of her and how to get away from
her.
He could already see why she was trying to get away from him, Fernan was already losing
his mind.
She must have asked knowing that he couldn’t answer. Because he had never once treated
Julia as his wife.
Every time her beautiful shining blue eyes turned to him, he pushed her away and said
harsh words.
He desperately rejected her, for she kept trying to get close to him.
Despite pushing him so hard, Julia calmly entered his heart without his knowledge.
At some point he began to chase her, whom he treated so coldly.
The realization came too late. When he thought that he wanted to keep Julia by his side, it
was because she did not want him any more.
He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to get her to stay with him, so he chose to
keep her under surveillance and force her to stay in the castle.
‘Actually, I should have said I was sorry and asked for her forgiveness. I should have been
gentle and kind to her for the pain she was in.
Fernan buried his face in his trembling hands. He realized everything, but there was no
Julia now.
****
After a long time, Julia finally stepped on the soil of another country.
Normally, the process of crossing the border was tough, but thanks to the relatively loose
inspection, she was able to escape the Empire without difficulty.
It was also thanks to the fact that Cedric had secured her new identity in advance.
Their final destination was the Holy Land, located in the southern part of the continent. It
was also the home country of Matheus and Cedric.
It was a rather closed country with little interaction with other countries.
Julia was going to prepare to ride alone and stay at a monastery there.
Cedric approached Julia, who was sitting in the lobby, absentmindedly looking out the
window.
It was going to take them a long time to get to the Holy Land and they were currently
staying at an inn.
“There has been too much going on. I understand.” Cedric said.
“…I can’t really feel it. I don’t know if I’m really free, if I’m really done with all this…”
She was more confused than thrilled or happy. She was also a little anxious.
She didn’t think there were any unresolved feelings left, but the painful memories probably
wouldn’t disappear with time.
The faces of the people she didn’t want to remember anymore wouldn’t disappear for a
while either.
Suddenly, she remembered the last time she saw Fernan. The desperate figure that tried
desperately to catch her was unexpected.
Instead of feeling relieved when she thought of that figure, her heart sank.
Shaking her head to erase her thoughts, Julia stared at the window again.
“Why don’t you think about what you are going to do in the future?”
Julia averted her gaze and looked at Cedric. He continued with a light shrug.
“Isn’t there something you’ve always wanted to do? Even a small thing would be fine.”
Julia’s eyes lit up as she remembered something that had been bothering her for a while.
“I want to grow a garden. I want to make this and that with flowers….”
“I’d like to make some friends, if I can. I would like to go to private festivals. I’ve never
enjoyed a festival before.”
She thought about it and new things came to her mind incessantly. There were many things
she wanted to do, even if it wasn’t something grand.
“No, I’m just grateful that you came with me this far.”
“No…”
She could no longer cause trouble to Cedric, who helped her only with Matheus’ request.
She felt sorry for taking up too much of his time, because he must have his own life to live.
Chapter 40
“Are you uncomfortable with me?”
“Not at all. I just feel like Cedric is having a hard time because of me…”
“If it’s just for that reason, I’d be happy to stay with you forever.”
“But…”
Julia looked at him a little puzzled. She had no idea why he would go this far for her.
“Let me watch over Julia until you adjust to your new life.”
“…”
He has helped Julia so far not only because of Matheus’ request. Julia, who tried to escape
the past and live somehow, kept overlapping with himself in the past.
Cedric was a slave from a small country. A slave, born with a rare and mysterious holy
power, exploited from an early age by his master.
It was Matheus, his current master, who helped him escape from the pitch-black agony of
seeing no way forward.
He felt a deep solidarity with Julia from the very beginning, though he could not see her
situation and his as completely the same.
Just as he had been saved by Matheus and found a life as a priest, so he hoped that Julia
would be happy with his meager help.
“You said you wanted to make friends. Will you make me your first friend?”
“…”
Julia stared at him with wide open eyes, then smiled softly.
“…Yes.”
From the beginning, Julia also felt an unfamiliar familiarity with Cedric.
Perhaps it was because she first met him in his child form. He was as fresh as a blade of
grass. She had always thought that talking with him made her feel at peace.
Cedric smiled gently as he gazed at Julia . And finally, she too lifted her lips comfortably.
***
The Holy Land they arrived at after a long time was an archaic yet contributed country. The
history of the country serving God was felt in the styles of buildings everywhere.
Gazing blankly at the monotonous streets, Julia felt her heart tingle for a moment. In fact,
her body hadn’t been feeling very well throughout the entire trip.
She had rested for quite a long time at the monastery, but it didn’t seem to be getting much
better.
As she exhaled slowly and pulled her mind together, the carriage passed through the forest
and entered the castle grounds.
Its arrival point was a village that had a rural feel to it.
Here and there, they could see farms raising flocks of sheep and shallow flowing streams.
Most of all, what caught Julia’s gaze at once was the endless grasslands far away.
Julia’s eyes, which had been gazing blankly at the window, forgetting her pain, began to
shine before she knew it.
She had never seen such a peaceful and beautiful landscape in her life.
The carriage drove for a while along the grassy field, and soon stopped in front of a large
stone building.
It was the Helios Monastery, their destination. The first thing she saw was a group of
children playing in the small front yard.
As soon as they were out of the carriage, a middle-aged woman standing in the yard
greeted them warmly.
Cedric shook her hand with a look of happiness on his face. Gabrielle was an administrator
who had worked at the monastery for a long time.
Basically, a monastery was a place for priests to gather and spend time together, but this
place also served as an orphanage.
Gabrielle was the one who brought in the children who had nowhere else to go and took
care of them, acting as their guardian.
From what she heard when she came, she was like a parent to Cedric as well.
“Um, hello.”
Hesitantly, Julia greeted her cautiously, and Gabrielle said, “Oh dear!” as she belatedly
grabbed Julia’s hand.
“What are you talking about? It’s your home, you should feel at ease. You’ve worked hard.”
Warm eyes, warm voice. Julia couldn’t help but bow her head at Gabrielle’s gentle gaze. It
was because she felt like she was about to cry.
Gabrielle, who had taken care of such children, could clearly see someone’s scars.
Julia was another child who was too young and scarred in her eyes.
“There will only be good days now. Huh? Just think about being happy.”
Julia nodded with her red eyes. Gabrielle’s words spread through her mind like magic.
There would be only good days from now on. She thought she would be able to be happy. It
was the first time she could be sure of something in her heart that had been unstable for so
long.
“Who is it?”
At that time, a child pulled Gabrielle’s sleeve and asked. A curious but wary expression
came to Julia’s face.
“This is the sister who will be staying with Theo. Come on, let’s say hello to your sister.”
“…”
Gabrielle whispered. Julia bent her knees as she looked at Theo, who was peeking.
“….”
When Julia smiled, Theo, who was blinking his big eyes, clapped his small lips and
completely hid behind Gabrielle.
Julia slowly got up. She knew that she and the children needed time to get used to each
other. Moving to a different location, Julia asked Gabrielle for more information about life
in the monastery. The monastery was divided into two buildings, one with a chapel and the
other for for accommodation and lodging.
Julia was shown to an empty room, unpacked, and sat down on the bed.
It was a cozy room, small but large enough for one person to use.
From the window, she could see a small rear garden behind the building. A flower bed
placed in the corner was beautifully blooming with spring flowers.
Julia approached the window and looked at the flower bed with a slightly excited
expression on her face. The center of the flower bed was full of white lilies, her favorite
flower. The flowers swayed in the breeze, as if welcoming her to a new beginning.
The village where Julia stayed was one of the most secluded and quiet territories in the
Holy Land.
It was a small territory covered with wide grasslands to the south and surrounded by
mountains bordering other countries to the north.
It was a place where there was very little interaction with the rest of the world, and a
peaceful and relaxed atmosphere prevailed.
It was an unfamiliar peace that she had never felt while living in the Empire, but it came
every day.
It didn’t take long for Julia to fall in love with the village.
She decided to help Gabrielle and take care of the children of the monastery. At first, the
children were unfamiliar with her, but they gradually began to open up to her kind attitude.
“Wow!”
Julia let out a small laugh as she watched the children running around among the swaying
grass.
It was the greenest, most peaceful day of the year, the end of spring.
“Julia!”
At that moment, a child with her hair tied up in a pretty bun ran over to Julia. It was a little
girl named Rosemary.
Rosemary was a lively girl who was particularly easygoing with Julia since their first
meeting.
She put a flower ring on Julia’s finger, which she had woven with her little hands. The ring
was a mess in her tiny hands, but Julia patted Rosemary’s head happily.
“Thank you, Rose. It’s beautiful.”
“Hehe!”
Rosemary’s eyes lit up as she looked at Julia, who was pleasantly looking at the pretty
flower ring.
“You know, Rose is going to marry a prince later, right? I want a big palace, a pretty dress,
an entrance, and a sparkly jewelry ring!”
Julia responded by sweeping over the disorganized child’s hair. Rosemary stared at Julia
and asked.
Julia’s eyes opened wide at the sudden question, and she couldn’t reply for a while.
Julia just gave a small laugh when she saw Rosemary smiling brightly. Rosemary stayed
next to her, chatting for a while, and then quickly ran off to join the other children.
Julia stared at her and lowered her gaze with a subtle expression. Sometimes she didn’t
know how she should feel when a moment like this came to remind her of the past.
Even though only one season had passed, it somehow felt like too old a memory. Was it
because she was satisfied with her life here?
However, after inevitably recalling the memories of that time, it opened the door and
brought out other memories.
She loved him with all her heart and she wouldn’t be able to forget him for a long time.
After spacing out for a while, Julia averted her gaze and looked over the meadow. This was
her home now, this was her life.
One day, she hoped, she would not have to worry about remembering the past like this.
Chapter 41
He felt like the back of his neck was going to be torn off. Fernan, who opened his eyes,
picked up a glass of water on the side table.
But his dangerously shaking hand quickly dropped the glass.
The sound of a sharp crack filled the room. Fernan, fully awake, clapped his forehead with a
hand full of raised blood vessels.
Looking around, I saw for the first time the unfamiliar bedroom. He couldn’t remember
when he had been in this place.
Perhaps the knights brought his fallen self here again. Fernan had no idea how many days
he hadn’t slept.
It had been months since he had been looking for Julia, just like an insane person. He could
only faintly feel that spring was already over.
It had been half a year since Julia disappeared. Summer has now arrived on the continent.
But Fernan’s time was still stuck in that winter when Julia disappeared. He stood up, biting
his pale lips.
It was just dark, and as if he didn’t feel pain, he stepped on the shards of broken glass at
random.
Opening the door, he could see a small lobby through the railing across the corridor. It
appeared to be the village inn where they were conducting their search.
The knight standing in front of the door suddenly approached him. Then his eyes widened
in surprise when he saw the blood marks where Fernan stepped.
Fernan asked, interrupting the knight. The hesitant knight quickly answered with his head
down.
“Three days. But, Your Highness, even that is not enough. You need to get some more rest.”
Fernan closed his eyes softly and put his hands on the wall. He felt hurt, as if someone had
thrown a stone at his head. With a deep sigh, he issued an order in a rough voice.
“Bring me my clothes. We’ll be leaving soon.”
“But sir…”
The knight tried to speak but Fernan turned around and closed the door. Eventually, with a
soundless sigh, the knight disappeared across the corridor.
It was less than two hours later that Fernan left the inn. He swept past the knights who
tried to stop him and headed for the stable.
He went straight out, galloping his horse as fast as he could. Despite his skinny jawline and
darkened eyes, his still intimidating body could barely support his spirit.
He left first, and the knights were quick to catch up with him. Soon the procession turned
onto a mountain road. It was a ridge leading to another country.
Fernan drove on for a while, keeping his eyes only on the front. There was nothing
contained in his empty vision.
“Your Highness…”
Then suddenly, someone’s voice appeared in his empty brain. As if to hasten him to a
standstill, a faint voice continued to whisper in his ear.
For the first time, Fernan’s dark gaze came back into focus.
Julia asked me as they were leaving after lunch, and Fernan just stared at her, as if looking
at something worthless, and quietly brushed her off.
He didn’t remember. It had been a long time since he erased all trivial memories before the
war.
It had been eight years of standing on a hill strewn with dead, dying, bloody graves.
Because during those years, he had abandoned all humanity.
And at that moment, Julia, who had dropped her gaze bitterly, lifted her lips slightly as if to
say, “Still, it’s okay.” He thought that little smile was annoying.
He knew that it would bother him to see that smile as he lived with that woman for the rest
of his life. Fernan tightened his grip on the reins again.
He hurt Julia so much. He didn’t want to see her smile. He wanted to get away from her. As
if to declare that she was nothing to him and that she shouldn’t want anything from him as
a husband.
“…Ha.”
Fernan was silent at once . All the mistakes of the past that filled his head made it
impossible for him to move forward.
His lips began to quiver. Finally, he looked up and grasped the reins, but something white
suddenly came into his gaze.
Wildflowers bloomed under the shade of a tree in a corner. It was white and faint and
fragile. It was lily flowers that Julia said she liked.
“D*mn it.”
Fernan swore. There was no time for this. He had to move quickly.
But as Julia’s voice and face filled his mind, he couldn’t move his body very fast. Every
moment that passed, every single one of them held him in a vexing grip.
***
For what could be described as a long time and a short time, Julia adapted perfectly to her
new life.
Unlike in the past when she had to hold on to each day, now she had peace and quiet every
day. At the monastery, Julia’s daily routine was monotonous.
In the mornings, she would spend time with the children. Then she would help Cedric give
afternoon mass and after mass she would help Gabrielle prepare the meal.
Gabrielle said as she looked at Julia, who was diligently chopping onions. Julia replied with
a narrowed frown in her spicy eyes.
It was largely with Gabrielle’s help that Julia was able to adjust so easily to monastic life.
Gabrielle treated Julia like her daughter and showed her generous affection.
Julia melted into that warmth surprisingly quickly. When she was with her, she felt
comfortable for no particular reason.
Gabrielle asked as she boiled down the stew, suddenly remembering. Julia nodded without
stopping the knife.
“Yes, I made it once before, and Cedric said it would be a good decoration for the chapel.”
Recently, Julia developed a hobby. It was to make ornaments out of flowers from the
garden.
Originally, she only helped the gardener with the flower beds, but the flowers were left
behind and it was a waste. The branches were broken, but the flowers were in good shape,
so she thought she could make use of them.
So, with their permission, she brought the discarded flowers and tried to make this and
that. They were things like wreaths, corsages, and bouquets.
She made various things as her hands wandered, but the finished products were better
than she expected.
“The dark chapel became very bright. I didn’t know you had that talent.”
Julia spoke in embarrassment, but she felt proud nonetheless. It was fun to find out what
she wanted to do little by little.
Sometimes her hand got injured, but it was all good. After helping Gabrielle with dinner,
she always went for a walk around the monastery.
This was because the meadow at sunset was very beautiful. Knowing that she enjoyed
walking as a habit, Cedric would always follow her at the same time.
In the middle of their trivial conversation, Cedric suddenly changed the subject. Julia asked,
“Why?”
“The High Priest is visiting the Temple of Ilion soon. It’s an important event that all the
priests of the Temple must attend, so it’s unavoidable.”
Cedric, who said he would stay with Julia until she adapted to this place, had been staying
at the monastery for months as if to keep his word.
However, he was still a priest of the Temple of Ilion, and thus could not be absent for such a
long time.
“Yes, I see. Have a good trip. Will you give my regards to Master Matheus?”
Julia asked, staring at him. The Temple of Ilion was located in close proximity to the
Empire, so it had been quite some time since she had seen Matheus.
He didn’t want anyone to recognize his face if he went to visit Julia unnecessarily.
“Yes, I will.”
Cedric nodded meekly. So they walked in silence for a while. The front yard, bright with the
setting sun, was dark and sleepy before they knew it.
So, after their short walk, they returned to their rooms. They had just entered the front
door when Cedric unexpectedly opened his mouth again.
Turning around, he saw Julia standing a few steps behind him, her brow creased and her
chest heaving.
“Julia?”
At the same time as Cedric called, Julia sat down as if she was collapsing.
“What, what is it? Are you hurting somewhere?”
Startled, Cedric approached and helped Julia to her feet. But Julia, frowning, could not
answer and was shaking uncontrollably. Suddenly, her heart began to ache as if it were
being torn apart.
“Ah…”
Julia crouched down as if she could not breathe. The holy power was beating her heart
violently.
Her mind went blank for a moment and Cedric caught her by the shoulders. He tried to heal
her with his power but it was no good.
It didn’t seep into Julia’s body, and the light that bounced straight out disappeared into the
air. In the meantime, Julia’s pain grew worse.
She involuntarily grabbed Cedric’s collar tightly. She couldn’t bear the feeling of something
hot welling up in her chest.
“Ah….”
Julia hung her head, covering her mouth from the feeling of something suddenly surging
from her throat.
Several months had passed since staying here, but Julia had never collapsed like this.
She sometimes said that she felt a throbbing pain in her heart, but this was the first time
she coughed up blood with such intense pain.
Julia turned to Cedric, who sat next to her with a worried look in his eyes. Cedric, who had
been watching her all night, had a look of guilt on his face. Julia closed her eyes and gently
nodded her head in reply.
“I’m sorry. I should have paid more attention. I didn’t realize how serious your condition
was getting…”
Cedric dropped his gaze with an embarrassed expression. Julia struggled to open her
mouth at his remorseful words.
Julia bit her lip as trying to catch her breath, her hands trembling.
Suddenly, the words that Matheus had said a long time ago came to Julia’s mind as she
endured the pain.
He said if she used the holy power randomly, her body would not be able to hold on.
Of course she knew it well, but she didn’t have any serious problems during that time, so
she thought it was okay.
As soon as she was relieved, her body started to break down little by little.
“…”
“If we go to the temple and search through all the old documents, I’m sure we can find out
more about Julia’s condition.”
Cedric opened his mouth decisively, as if to reassure her. But he couldn’t be sure, and his
expression was gloomy.
Julia nodded lightly, lacking the energy to reply. Cedric looked at her worriedly as she
struggled.
Julia slowly closed her eyes at the quiet voice. Her whole body was heavy as if she was
drowning in the water.
***
In the meantime, Julia’s body had made some improvement, but she was still not ready to
return to her daily routine.
So her routine at the monastery became lighter than before. She moved at a comfortable
pace for her body and then had longer rest periods.
One fine morning, Julia opened the window and sat down in front of the woodworking
table.
On the table were branches of colorful flowers and a half-finished flower crown.
She was making a crown and a bouquet for the bride, as there was going to be a wedding at
the monastery in a few days.
Gabrielle, who visited her in her room, said as she placed the tray on the table.
Julia looked up after letting her flower crown down for a while.
With her hair tied loosely, Julia smiled brightly. She looked the most comfortable she had
lately, but she was a little thinner than before.
Gabrielle pushed the plate with the madeleines towards Julia with a worried look on her
face.
“If it’s too much work, you don’t have to do it. I’m always worried that you’ll collapse
again.”
After answering bravely, Julia stopped working and began to eat madeleines.
But Julia was calm, and the others seemed rather anxious about her condition.
Despite Gabrielle’s concern, Julia’s appetite had returned after a long time, and she ate
more than half of the madeleines.
The sweet and soft texture spread in her mouth, making her feel even better.
“Julia.”
Julia turned her head with her eyes wide open. Through the gap in the door, she could see a
small child standing there.
Rosemary, her hair tied up in pigtails, was standing there, her big eyes fluttering.
Julia hurried over and opened the door. She could also see Theo hiding behind Rosemary.
Rosemary spoke loudly, and Theo, who was standing behind her, shook his head wildly.
Julia smiled at the cute sight and bent her knees to meet the children’s eye level.
She had purposely not seen the children for the past few days.
She was worried that she might suddenly collapse again and shock the children.
Julia couldn’t hide the smile that naturally appeared on her face when she saw the children
running around like this, saying that they hadn’t been able to play with her for a few days.
While Julia held the children’s hands and sat them down in front of the wooden table,
Gabrielle said she would bring more snacks and left the room.
In a way, it was because of the children that she was able to love this small town so quickly.
They were the ones who sought affection and gave her so much love.
It was here, exchanging unconditional love, that Julia was able to heal the wounds she had
suffered.
A few moments later, Gabrielle came in with a tray piled high with snacks.
The worries that filled a corner of Julia’s mind gradually faded away while she spent time
with the people she cared about.
***
Fernan was still madly frantic searching for Julia.
He searched the entire continent without a break, but there was still no trace of Julia. He
looked like a corpse, acting as if all his feelings and thoughts were gone. In his blank stare,
only the recurring despair was submerged.
Time was flying by when, to his surprise, he was able to find a clue about Julia.
The message was sent by a knight who was searching in other regions. Elemion was a small
territory in the south bordering the Grand Duke’s domain.
Strangely enough, he only searched around other countries even with clues right near him.
[About six months ago, a young woman they had never seen before was lying on the
outskirts of the village. She was unconscious.
A villager took care of the woman for about a month at a nearby clinic.]
And it was reported that as soon as the woman woke up, she asked the villager to take her
to a certain monastery.
He pursued all the priests there and found out that they had a woman, presumed to be Julia,
with them for some time.
The description, the clothes, and the time of the disappearance were exactly the same as
when Julia disappeared.
The priests would not open their mouths further, but it was not difficult to force them to
speak out. As a result, Fernan learned that someone had taken her with him to another
country.
Matheus, who had given Julia the pendant, did not fall under this category.
This was because of the circumstances that Matheus had remained in the imperial palace at
the time she disappeared.
It was the report of the knight who had returned from watching Julia at the Imperial Palace
a while ago.
“It doesn’t seem to be any to pay much attention to, but Her Highness was accompanied
by 2 priests on her walks. One was a young priest and the other was an older priest.”
All of the priests who visited the Imperial Palace that day belonged to the Temple of Ilion.
Fernan quickly checked the entire list of priests from the temple.
There were not one or two young priests. However, there were no priests who could be
considered very young.
After questioning and digging deeper, it was found that there was a priest who could take
the shape of a “young child.”
It was not a private list that could be confirmed externally, but information obtained from
military documents.
The military documents contained the numerical value and utilization of holy power of
priests that could be deployed in times of war.
From the documents, he found a priest who could change his “appearance” with holy
power.
And there was only one priest in the Temple of Ilion with such ability.
It was said that he had been away from the temple since last winter.
“Your Highness, in a week’s time, on the day of the High Priest’s tour, that young priest will
surely appear.”
Chapter 43
Lloyd, who had been following Fernan, spoke quietly.
They were now lurking near the temple, as the temple was the only clue to finding Julia’s
whereabouts.
However, they were not putting any direct pressure on the temple.
It was to make them not notice that they were under Fernan’s surveillance.
If the missing priest was truly related to Julia, the more reliable way was to find out who
was behind it secretly.
Lloyd continued to talk, looking at the back of Fernan’s hand with blood vessels popping
up.
Fernan was now struggling to suppress the urge to turn the temple upside down.
It was the first time in six months that he had a clue about Julia. It was natural that he
wanted to find her right away.
But there was no way the priests would be honest enough to tell him about her if he tried to
visit the temple recklessly.
“…Yes, I know.”
Fernand’s empty eyes lit up with a faint glow as he recited in a low voice.
He had been out of his mind all this time, and now he was showing his human face.
***
This was the first time he had been away from his position for such a long period of time
during his time at the Temple.
“It’s also been a very long time since I’ve seen myself like this.”
Before stepping out of the carriage, Cedric used his power and changed his appearance. As
the green light faintly spread, he quickly transformed into a ten years old boy.
Prior to his stay in the Holy Land, Cedric had always lived in his child form unless there was
something special. This was because it was only by reducing his outward age and
minimizing his bodily functions that he would be able to maintain his power in the most
stable manner.
As he dismounted from the carriage and walked up the stairs, Cedric remembered what
Julia had asked him sometime ago. It seemed that the memory of the first time they had met
was very strong in her mind. Julia was alone in her conviction before he could make any
reply.
Look again at the children attached to her, and look at him again.
“Hmmm, sure… it would be a bit troubling if you turned into a child here.”
A gentle smile spread across his face as he thought of Julia’s face as she laughed while
muttering. It wasn’t actually because he was embarrassed or troubled as she thought.
He just didn’t want to spend the rest of his time in front of her as a child. Smiling subtly,
Cedric crossed the yard and entered the hall. It was two days later when the High Priest
decided to come.
Before that, Cedric intended to visit the study on the top floor of the temple first. In the
library were numerous history books from ancient times to the present.
Starting from the origins of the holy power, many information and examples of the existing
holy power were recorded. If he searched through them one by one, he might be able to
find a way to alleviate Julia’s condition. Cedric walked along the corridor that led to the
central staircase.
Along the way, he briefly exchanged greetings with a few priests who noticed him and
greeted him.
After weaving his way through the crowds and up the stairs, Cedric eventually made his
way to the study.
And a man who had been blending in with the crowd was watching Cedric carefully.
It was Fernan’s second-in-command, who had infiltrated the interior of the temple in place
of the known face of Fernan. Pretending to be a visitor, the knight followed Cedric and
observed him for a while. He was a young priest from outside. The way he talked with the
existing priests without hesitation. Above all, his name was Cedric.
Surely, this priest was the one his lord was looking for.
***
Julia, who was inserting flowers into the wooden arch, lowered her head to Rosemary, who
stood next to her.
The priests here were older and all very stern. It was just a little difficult for the children.
Cedric was the only one among them who would help her and play well with the children.
Rosemary seemed to miss him very much, because he was not there to play with her.
It had been exactly three weeks since he left the monastery. She knew that the day of the
High Priest’s visit had already passed.
But it took a long time to come and go and she did not know exactly when he would return.
Rosemary lagged behind, clinging to her arm and rubbing her cheek. Smiling brightly, Julia
gently tugged at the child’s cheek.
The wedding was scheduled to take place at the monastery in the afternoon.
So Julia worked with the children to decorate the wedding arch with flowers.
The wedding arch, after finishing with care, was finely decorated with white flowers,
making the garden glow.
When the noon sun went down in the afternoon, a wedding ceremony was held in the
monastery.
Julia handed the bride the light pink rose bouquet that she had made with all her sincerity.
Seeing the bride smiling brightly with happiness filled Julia’s heart with a little happiness
as well.
It was a simply decorated wedding, but the sight of the young couple smiling at each other
was as beautiful as any gorgeous wedding.
Julia’s lips lifted faintly as she watched the bride and groom exchange rings.
The ceremony, held at the Imperial Palace, was as glamorous as any royal family. The
memories of exchanging vows and rings in front of the priest came to mind one after
another.
Blinking her eyes with an expressionless face, Julia suddenly looked down at her hand.
Then she remembered her own wedding ring, which she had long forgotten. It was the only
thing she had selfishly brought with her as a consolation prize.
“I’ve never seen a ring crafted with such precious gems before. Where did you get this?”
When she just arrived at the monastery, Julia went to a jeweler to sell the ring.
The merchant said the ring was worth a lot of money, but she returned without selling it.
She didn’t need the money right away, but somehow she still didn’t have the courage to sell
it.
She didn’t know if maybe it was because it was the only thing that reminded her of her past.
It was a past she wanted to forget, but perhaps she wasn’t ready to let it go completely.
Deliberately brushing her thoughts away, Julia turned her gaze again.
As she smiled again, gazing at the bride and groom as they kissed each other, someone
placed a light hand on her shoulder.
“Julia.”
Julia looked back at the familiar voice. Cedric was standing behind her with a small smile on
his face.
She talked about him with Rosemary this morning, but she didn’t expect him to be back so
soon.
“I just arrived.”
She hadn’t coughed up any more blood since that time. The pain that had been
intermittently hitting her heart had also subsided.
The end of that smile, however, was somewhat complicated and soaring.
So far, Cedric had searched all the ancient books that were outdated in the temple. But still
he found nothing.
What upset him more than anything were the words Matheus had told him.
“You mean….”
Once the holy power that resided within her was gone, it was supposed to return to its
original owner, Matheus.
It was presumed that Julia’s throwing up blood was also because her power was
disappearing. However, even Matheus said he could not guess why such symptoms
happened.
Chapter 44
“Cedric, what’s wrong?”
Julia stared in wonder at the silent Cedric for a moment. Then, finally, Cedric looked up and
answered.
Cedric smiled faintly again. It would be better not to inform Julia about this yet.
“Thank you for trying so hard. And I’m really okay now.”
Looking at Julia as if she was trying to comfort him, Cedric bit his lip.
Nodding with a complicated and apologetic expression, Cedric was silent for a moment.
After his expression changed again, he turned his gaze to the bride standing in the wedding
archway.
The wedding arch was placed in the direction she pointed, its white flowers and greenery
glowing beautifully in the sun.
“You must have had a hard time. Please don’t overwork yourself.”
Looking at her peaceful face, Cedric finally relaxed his lips. At this moment, he could only
hope earnestly. He hoped that this would be uneventful. May she be as peaceful as she was
now, without further pain.
Julia’s blue eyes were shining as she asked. Even though it was a simple wedding, she
seemed to be very happy to see it.
Cedric was sure her wedding was much more glamorous and extravagant than this.
When he had first brought Julia here, Cedric was inwardly worried that she would not be
able to adapt to the simplicity of life.
However, contrary to his fears, Julia blended into the life here in her own way.
However, he couldn’t be sure that she was really satisfied with her current life.
Julia unexpectedly opened her mouth again. She had just heard the news from Gabrielle
earlier this morning.
“Yes. The birthday of Hecate, the god who rules the continent, is this summer.”
This was also the reason why the High Priest traveled all over the continent. Every year
around this time, there were long-lasting celebrations in the Holy Land.
Among Julia’s modest dreams was to go out into the city and enjoy the festivals.
For even the mundane things of blending in the crowd and watching the festivals in the
streets were not allowed in her old days.
“It’s going to be fun. During the festival, foreigners are also allowed to enter freely.”
“I see.”
“There will be street plays and night markets. There will also be a lot of merchants.”
Hearing this, a sense of anticipation welled up in Julia’s heart even more. Gazing into her
sparkling eyes, Cedric made a suggestion.
***
The streets of the downtown area were gorgeously decorated with colorful lanterns and
decorations.
The scene, which created a deep and mysterious atmosphere, attracted Julia.
“Wow!”
The children held her hands and swam through the crowds. As Cedric said, there were
numerous shops on the street.
The children took her on an enthusiastic tour of the streets, and before she knew it, they
were in the middle of a square.
They sat on the stairs in one corner of the square to watch the play. After seating the
children in the empty seats, Julia sat down next to Cedric. The noisy children quickly
became quiet as the play proceeded with great interest.
And Julia, who had finally sighed, immediately began to immerse herself in the play.
After some time, Cedric unexpectedly spoke to her. Julia nodded without taking her eyes off
the play.
Cedric, who was silent for a moment at her reply, asked again.
She blinked slowly and looked at him, and Julia soon smiled gorgeously.
“Of course.”
The clear smile, without a trace of selfishness, spoke volumes. She was already happy.
Cedric looked at Julia as if he was obsessed and grabbed her hand for no apparent reason.
Julia’s eyes were tinged with peace as she turned her attention to the play again.
And at the same time, Fernan had just entered the festival street.
The Holy Land strictly controlled the comings and goings of people from other countries.
Coincidentally, however, from the day after his arrival, the Holy Land entered the festival
period.
“Your Highness, we’ve already lost the priest. What should we do?”
If Julia was in this country, it wouldn’t be hard to find her no matter where she was.
“Divide the area and conduct a secret search. I need to look at this street.”
Fernan led only two or three knights into the downtown area. The lights that lined
throughout the square brightened their dark vision.
The white banners connecting the pillars were painted with the patterns of the gods in
gorgeous colors.
Fernan, however, did not look at any of them. He just glanced at the crowd with his crazy
eyes.
He thought a lot the whole time he was here. At the same time, he was surrounded by
endless emotions.
The emotion that filled his heart the most was hope.
It was the thought that Julia might be dead that suddenly rose up and drove him crazy.
He couldn’t quite contain the emotions that were welling up in him at the current situation
that proved that idea to be wrong.
His gaze, which had been wandering the streets like a madman, soon landed on a corner of
the square.
People were gathered in a circle, looking at the central open space, perhaps it was a
sightseeing spot.
Fernan, who was watching the crowd carefully, quickly averted his gaze.
Then, he suddenly threw his gaze to pierce the middle of the crowd.
In the midst of all the people, only one person came into his eyes.
“Julia.”
She was a petite woman sitting on the step. Her light silver hair in a bun, her face delicate
and hollow.
Even her lake-like eyes, which still shine as brightly as ever even after such a long time.
The image of Julia, which he had drawn thousands of times in his mind, was clearly in front
of his eyes.
“Your Highness?”
His second-in-command spoke to Fernan, who stood still. It was because Fernand was the
only one who recognized Julia among the people.
Immediately, all the knights who followed him scattered to other places.
A light gradually began to shine in his eyes, which had been quiet, as if he didn’t know this
situation was reality or a dream.
Julia, the woman he had been searching endlessly for, was now in his field of vision.
With his lips quivering slightly, Fernan stepped forward. His golden gaze remained fixed on
Julia, staring at her relentlessly.
Instantly, the sound of all the strings of reason being cut at once could be heard.
‘Julia would be surprised. Wouldn’t she be angry and wonder why I had come? Then how could
I soothe and calm her?’
He stopped when he began to see Julia again, who had been hidden by the crowd.
Fernan froze, looking down at his feet in a daze, slowly raising his gaze.
Then he looked again. He looked at Julia’s face, which was smiling like sunlight.
Then Julia was laughing. He had never seen a face like that before.
“…Why?”
The first thought that popped into his head was such a silly question.
Chapter 45
Julia’s smile appeared one after another in his vision as he began to sway slightly. For some
reason, at this moment, he couldn’t move, as if his feet were tied to the ground.
Fernan didn’t even think of approaching her, he just kept staring at her. Eventually, Julia
got up from her seat and started taking care of the children next to her.
Then a man was seen helping her and holding the children. It was the priest whom Fernan
lost while following.
She wandered around the crowded streets, looking happy and content.
Fernan, like a somewhat insane person, just followed her like that.
Every now and then she bent her knees and looked at the children, whispering something
to them with her gentle gaze. A few times she looked up at the priest next to her and
laughed at the words that came and went.
The whole scene made Fernan feel as if someone was squeezing his heart again and again.
He had never seen her like this before. It was the kind of face Julia had never shown him
before.
Even if he drew Julia thousands of times, all he could picture was a face that was always
hurt and tearful, immersed in misery, but now Julia was not the woman he remembered.
“Lady Julia wanted one thing: to get out of her misery and be happy.”
Just then, someone’s voice tapped him on the ear. Fernan’s steps came to a halt. Following
the voice, the last image of Julia in his memory appeared in front of him.
Standing on the edge of the cliff, muttering those quiet words. He had thought of it
thousands of times before, and it began to hold him down again at this moment.
Fernan, who bowed his head as if breaking down, held his trembling hand tightly. Blood
oozed from the palm of his hand as a strong force entered it.
Fernan, who slowly raised his head in that state, caught sight of Julia again.
Now he finally knew that fact. An invisible wall was erected in front of Julia, perfectly
assimilated into the peaceful scene.
It was a solid wall that he could not possibly break down or destroy. “It was a solid wall
that he would never be able to break down or break down, and a sense of reality gradually
came over Fernan, who was half out of his mind.
That’s right. I was going to ask Julia for forgiveness first thing when I saw her.
I would never hurt her again. I will try to promise. And I am going to put into her hands every
precious and good thing I had ever failed to give.
I want to untie the intricate knot and rekindle my relationship with her.
Fernan lowered the hand that had been covering his mouth. His lips quivered.
The funny thing was that while he was having such apparent thoughts, only one thing that
came to mind.
That Julia would live happily ever after, after she forgot everything.
That all the elements of unhappiness, including him, might be buried and she might be with
new people.
Before he knew it, the night of the festival was drawing to a close.
Fernan just stood there quietly even until people started to leave.
When Julia was out of sight in the crowd, a small, almost vanishing voice fell into the street.
‘How do I grab hold of you? How can I bring her to my side again?’
For Julia, he was the end of her misery. He was the one who drove her to the edge of the
cliff until the very end.
He didn’t give her anything. He had never made her laugh. He couldn’t even make her feel
at least a little comfortable at home.
Fernan closed his eyes, which had grown dim with the loss of light. Soon the knights
approached him.
The knights could not easily open their mouths as they looked at their lord, who bowed his
head with a dangerous look on his face. Fernand slowly opened his mouth in a voice with
unknown emotions.
“Stop searching….”
This short order was the end of a long time of madly searching for Julia so far.
***
It was his first return in half a year, but the Grand Duke went to his office without looking
at anyone.
He did not speak to anyone. Not even the butler who recommended meals to him, or the
adjutant who gave him papers, or the servant who came to deliver the letters that had been
piling up….
He forced himself to cram only the political matters into his head and handed over the
documents like a machine with only a pen.
Fernan was in the same position Lloyd had seen him in yesterday, examining the
documents.
“As ordered, the knight you sent out found some information about Her Highness.”
Fernan’s hand holding the pen stopped for a moment. His face, which had been
expressionless, gradually began to show emotion.
There she took care of the children and became a fully established member of the
monastery.
“It’s not a big one. It’s a monastery in a very small village, so there aren’t many people.”
Fernan lowered his gaze. His golden eyes were quiet, as if he was thinking about
something. It was not long before he opened his mouth again.
“…”
But maybe, just maybe, something will happen in her life that she would need him for, even
if it’s just a small part.
Such a sneaky desire to be a part of her life, even a small part, filled a corner of his mind.
“‘I will do so, Your Highness. Oh, yes, Your Highness. ….”
Lloyd, who was about to say, “Please, rest,” as was his custom, immediately fell silent.
He knew very well that his lord was not a person who listened even when he spoke a few
thousand times.
It might be better to cling to political affairs all the time, like this, to somehow kill the
emotions.
The door slammed shut, and silence fell over the office once more.
***
Along with the seasons that have passed so quickly, several changes have occurred in the
monastery.
Last fall, an unidentified anonymous sponsor donated a huge sum of money to the
monastery. This caused the monastery to go through many busy days for three months.
The interior facilities have been renovated and the old exterior has been beautified.
The monastery’s finances, which were not rich, now have an untenable margin, which
made it possible to live a more convenient life.
“The donor didn’t reveal his identity. It’s so frustrating that I can’t even say thank you.”
Julia crouched in front of the fireplace and remembered what Gabrielle had said.
The place where millionaires and nobles donated their money was the Great Temple with a
high reputation.
Also, they normally wouldn’t hide their identities when they donated.
She knew this because when she was a child she saw Marquis Elody donate to the Great
Temple with all kinds of fuss.
How did the donor come to know this little monastery and donate? Julia’s faint curiosity
was aroused.
During internal repairs, a study had been installed at the end of the first floor.
So these days, she would sit in front of the fireplace and read books before going to sleep.
The gentle warmth of the fire melted her body. Julia flipped through her book with a slight
tilt of her head.
Chapter 46
Such a peaceful day continued for a while.
It was a winter when everything was in perfect order. Likewise, Julia thought that her body
was gradually getting better.
However, one morning, which was no different from usual, Julia woke up coughing up
blood.
Her lips quivered as she looked at the blood that had moistened her palms.
Julia couldn’t hide her confusion at the sudden hemoptysis that hadn’t come for a while.
After hurriedly bringing a cloth and wiping off her mouth and hands, Julia touched her
chest.
Thump, thump, a faintly running beat, she could faintly feel the power inside her shaking.
At the same time, she could feel that her power was fading more than before.
No one told her, but Julia could predict it to some extent. The more her power faded, the
more and more the life inside her was disappearing, Julia immediately sat up with a pale
face.
If he found out that her condition had gotten worse, he might feel overwhelmed.
Then she went straight to the closet and changed her clothes. She tucked the bloodstained
bedding to one side first.
Julia walked up to the door and opened it, and Gabrielle looked at her in surprise.
“Hey, you look really pale, are you okay?”
Her cheeks had turned white, and by all accounts she definitely looked like a patient.
Julia just shook her head, not wanting to cause any unnecessary worry.
Gabrielle, who reached out her wrinkled hand and touched Julia’s forehead, yelled in
surprise.
Gabrielle grabbed her hand and hurriedly sat Julia down on the bed.
The door closed and Julia, who had been blinking her eyes loosely, but her lip.
Even if she met with the doctor, it wouldn’t change much, because her condition was not
something that could be made better by the normal medical techniques.
After sitting like that for a while in a daze, Gabrielle entered the room with a town doctor.
He was the only doctor in this village. He had met Julia a few times.
The doctor examined her condition and diagnosed her as sickly with fever. They gave her a
fever reducer and a restorative.
Knowing that it was useless, Julia took the medicine without fail for several weeks. It was
Gabrielle’s way of being stubborn.
However, taking the pills did not make Julia feel any better.
After all that time without success, suddenly a certain doctor, who said he was from
another land, visited the monastery.
He was a well known and prominent doctor. In short, it meant that he was an expensive
doctor in the noble family.
Julia couldn’t help but be suspicious, even as she received the medical treatment.
“Um…”
The doctor, who had been carefully monitoring Julia’s pulse, slowly withdrew his hand.
“There seems to be a problem with your heart. The flow of the acupuncture points touching
your heart is not smooth, so your body is cold, but your head is hot and you may feel chest
pains occasionally.”
Julia couldn’t help but open her eyes wide at the surprisingly accurate diagnosis.
The doctor in town who visited a few weeks ago had dismissed her condition as a simple
fever.
“I’ll prescribe you some medicine for your heart condition. I will give you a stabilizer that
will temporarily help your circulation. If you take it when you feel chest pain, you will feel
better.”
In addition, the doctor provided her with a basket of herbs that were good for restoring her
energy.
The tea made from the roots was said to be good for improving physical strength and
stabilizing nerves.
“I’ll come back when you finish all the medicines I prescribed. If your body gets sick again
before then, you can always contact me.”
With those last words, the doctor stepped out of the bedroom, bowing in a polite gesture.
Such a famous doctor rarely visited private homes, no matter how much money was paid.
“One of the followers introduced us to him. He said he’s a very famous and capable doctor.”
“…Did the doctor just agree easily and come here like that?”
“Well, yes. Actually, I was going to take you to visit him there, but he told me that he would
visit in person. In any case, we are fortunate. Now, let’s start eating quickly so you can take
your medicine.”
The doctor had pinpointed her symptoms specifically. That alone was enough to convince
her that he was an excellent doctor.
However, it was not known whether the prescription drug would work.
So after finishing her meal, Julia took the medicine the doctor gave her. After that, she even
drank the tea which was brought by Gabrielle.
Julia hadn’t been able to get enough sleep in the past few days. Because her body was
constantly feeling uncomfortable and tingling.
Today, however, she felt much better. She thought it might be because of the medicine she
took.
Julia gradually closed her eyes, feeling more at ease than she had in a very long time.
That night, for the first time in a long time, Julia was able to sleep soundly.
After taking the medicine for a few days, she found that the prescribed medicine had a
definite effect on the symptoms that appeared on the surface.
Most of the physical discomforts such as increased fever and fast beating heart have
disappeared. The quality of her sleep has also become better than before.
Looking at it that way, her condition seemed to be getting better little by little. That’s what
the doctor who came to visit her periodically said.
“Cedric.”
As the evening wore on, Julia looked over at Cedric, who was walking alongside her, and
called his name.
They were on their evening walk, as usual.
“Yes?”
At the quiet statement, Cedric paused, his face frozen for a moment.
He looked bewildered. It was because Julia had never asked specifically about her condition
before.
But she already seemed to know that the power in her was slowly disappearing.
“Actually, I’ve been feeling it for a while. The power in my heart fading little by little.”
Julia explained calmly as she looked up at him. Finally, the bewildered Cedric nodded.
“…… Yes, that’s right. It’s Julia’s body, so there was no way you couldn’t feel it yourself…”
“I can’t feel Julia’s power. But I’m sure Matheus knows. He’s the original owner of the holy
power.”
Since his visit to the temple of Ilion a few months ago, Matheus hadn’t had much
communication.
So, Cedric still didn’t know exactly what Julia’s current situation was.
“For now, Julia’s best treatment is to not use your holy power.”
Even so, the power would faintly fade, but as long as she didn’t use an enormous amount of
power all at once, there would be no sudden abnormalities in her body.
She was finally able to find some happiness now. One day at a time was very important to
her.
‘When will I faint again? What if I don’t wake up?’ She didn’t want to waste precious
moments with such meaningless thoughts.
There would be no change in the pain if she did. So she just had to go about her daily life as
usual and be at peace.
“Yes…..”
Julia took a deep breath. She then turned to Cedric and gave him a small smile as if to say
that she was really okay now.
Chapter 47
“Your Highness, I apologize for the early hour. The Kingdom of Caria has sent a proposal for
a trade merger. It seems that you need to consider it as soon as possible.”
Inside the Grand Duke’s castle. Lloyd, who had hurried into the office, approached the desk
and held out a letter.
“Your Highness, on a different note, what are your plans for the Empress’ birthday banquet
this time?”
So far, Fernan had not participated in any of the major events held in the capital.
However, since this banquet was only for the royal family’s birthday celebration, it was
necessary for him to attend.
As Lloyd swallowed his spit, Fernan replied by writing his signature on the letter.
“Yes, yes!”
After finding out about Julia’s whereabouts, Fernan began to dabble in political affairs
outside the estate.
Six months had passed since he had found Julia and left her there.
However, Fernan was still spending his time as if he was missing something.
So far, the castle has been piled high with marriage proposals from all over the world.
If he didn’t bring Julia back with him, he would have rather considered a new marriage
partner.
But Fernan simply ordered all the marriage proposals to be burned without touching a
single one.
He even went so far as to officially declare that he would not accept any more marriage
proposals.
Lloyd looked at Fernan, whose eyes were fixed on the papers, and posed a question to him.
“Your Highness, are you really not planning to see Her Highness?”
Fernan, who had been madly searching for Julia, did not even try to go to her now.
If he had abandoned his feelings for her, he would not have said anything.
For half a year, he had been distributing donations to the small monastery where Julia
lived.
The other day, he just received the news that she was sick, and he sent a doctor directly to
her there.
“….. Your Highness, we can’t leave the position of Grand Duchess vacant forever. Wouldn’t it
be better to bring back Her Highness now?”
To be honest, there were enough good reasons for him to bring Julia back.
The Grand Duchess ran away and abandoned her duties, that fact alone was enough to
force her back to where she belonged.
It was certainly the right thing to do to meet and talk to her first before doing so.
However, it was just frustrating for the aide as he was just watching out of sight. As Lloyd
sighed faintly, Fernan handed him one of the documents with an unknown expression.
“Leave.”
Lloyd stood hesitatingly even when Fernan ordered him to leave coldly.
But as soon as the cold gaze touched him, he had no choice but to bow silently and leave.
And so, when Lloyd was gone, Fernan just looked at the papers for a long time.
It wasn’t until dawn, when the moon was shining, that he suddenly looked up. The snow
that had not fallen for a while was scattering.
He stared at the snow, which only made him feel depressed. Then he got up from his seat
and slowly approached the window.
“I’m continuing my visit to the monastery as you said. She’s been better since taking the
prescription medicine, so don’t worry too much.”
Not long ago, he communicated with the doctor whom he sent to Julia at the Holy Land.
He was glad Julia was getting better, but he was still concerned. The doctor said her heart
was not good.
He wondered how long it had been that way. Maybe…maybe it started when she was living
in this castle?
Fernan lowered his gaze and let out a heavy breath. Then he threw his gaze to the window
again.
Julia’s voice sank like a phantom. Winter, snow, and Julia disappeared.
But he couldn’t help but feel the urge to go see her sometimes. Just not executing it was a
task he couldn’t handle.
The only thing he could do was just pretend not to see her and hold his breath.
The tremors in his hands that had formed after the loss of Julia still hadn’t gone away.
His life was still like thin ice. Without Julia, there was only a chill in the air every day here.
Now he deeply realized the true nature of his feelings for Julia.
And that heart grew helplessly even in this time when he couldn’t see her.
***
Not long ago, Julia had just gotten a small job at the Lord’s residence in the village.
It was because the wife of the lord, who visited the monastery to see the people of the
estate, saw the flowers that decorated the chapel and asked Julia to decorate the reception
room of the mansion.
Although she was not an expert, her unique and quaint decorations seemed to be very
much to the liking of the lord’s wife.
Gabrielle looked worried that Julia was overworked, but eventually nodded.
“Yes, the Lord’s wife is a nice person, so spending time with her will be good.”
The distance between the lord and the people of the land here was not far.
It was a small land, and the lord was not too concerned about high and low status.
“I’m looking forward to it. I’ve heard the mansion is very nice.”
Julia smiled. She had been making an effort to keep things the same lately.
So she didn’t avoid taking on new jobs and meeting new people.
The children had been spending time with her every day, and she hadn’t missed her
evening walks with Cedric.
Not long ago, Cedric had been away. So in the evening, Julia walked by herself. As the
chillier weather permeated her skin, she realized that winter had come again.
As she walked along, lost in thought, Julia suddenly looked up and stopped.
“It’s snowing…..”
Julia stared at the snow falling like petals on her head. It was the first snowfall that greeted
her here. She reached out and the snowflakes fell coldly into her palm.
She stood there for a long time, like a child looking at the snow. Suddenly, someone’s voice
went faintly to her ear.
“There is a legend that if you see the first snowfall with someone you love, your love
will come true. Have you ever heard of it?”
It was someone’s voice, familiar and gentle. Then, just like the reply, a young voice also
came to her mind.
“Hmmm.”
The little girl’s words were long and troubled, her gentle gaze looking at her mother…. The
warm chest that hugged the child whose ear tips were red from the cold.
“I want to protect you, I want to be with you, that’s what love is.”
It was a memory of a childhood day under the falling snow, being held in her mother’s
arms.
Without warning, Julia’s mouth lifted faintly as she remembered that day.
Why did she forget about it all this time? Those precious days she spent with her mother,
that loving voice she used to tell her she loved her.
Julia stayed with her mother until she was seven years old. Until the age of seven, when her
biological father suddenly appeared and took her away.
Perhaps it was because she thought her mother had abandoned her at a very young age.
Maybe that was why she forgot all the good memories that she had.
After recalling her mother after a long time, even the faces she didn’t want to remember
came to her as an extension of her memory.
The Marquis and his wife, steeped in greed and evil. She wondered how they were doing
now.
It was certain that they had suffered no small amount of damage since she disappeared.
***
“This is different. This is not what it looks like. Your Majesty, you can’t do this to me. ….”
Marquis Elody threw the bottle of liquor in his hand on the floor. At the sound, the servants
who were standing by the door, looking at each other, bowed their heads, shaking.
A year has passed since Julia’s disappearance. The Emperor had withdrawn the Marquis
from his hand and foot position and had never called him in.
Up until six months ago, he was called in several times to investigate Fernan’s current
situation, but since he couldn’t get any useful information, the Emperor considered the
Marquis useless.
The Marquis, who had enjoyed the wealth and honor of having Julia as the Grand Duchess,
could not fully enjoy everything without her.
In the meantime, the power that the Marquis had built up was quickly crumbling.
“Julia, that ungrateful girl must have run away. Yes, definitely….”
Grayson Elody, the eldest son of Marquis Elodie, who had recently moved to the capital.
“No, she’s not dead. She ran away and made me suffer. How dare she repay me for the grace
and nurturing I had shown her so far with this….!”
Chapter 48
Instantly, the angry Marquis swept all the decorations off the table.
This caused a commotion once, but Grayson just stared at his father like he was deaf.
“What should I do? Well…Grayson, you can beg His Majesty. No, no. The Emperor is setting
distance, so you’d better hold on to the Crown Prince!”
Watching the Marquis babbling nonsense, Grayson got up from his seat as if he was sick of
it. It had been a full two days since he had to deal with her father like this. Grayson took a
step, leaving behind the Marquis, who was muttering like a maniac.
As soon as the Marquis saw his son leave, he got drunk on his misfortune and grabbed the
wine bottle again. Grayson walked out of the parlor without looking back.
“Young Master, the Marquis is in a very bad mood. Why don’t you stay a little longer with
him before going home?”
As he walked away, the butler hurried to follow. It was a plea for help. The anger of the
Marquis at the loss of his honor was directed at the servants of the mansion.
Every day the Marquis got drunk and rampaged through the mansion, destroying it. Many
of the servants were unexpectedly badly hurt by him.
The Marchioness also released all her sensitive nerves to those under her command.
The other day, after all the invitations to tea parties were refused, she threw a vase of
flowers at them, causing serious injuries to the maid who was near her.
As these days were repeated day after day, the number of servants resigning increased.
In this desperate situation, the only person who could reestablish the family was the eldest
son, Grayson.
However, Grayson just kept walking without ever looking at the butler.
“Young Master!”
Grayson’s eyes didn’t even change when he called out in an urgent tone.
From the beginning, he had no love or respect for his parents, much less for the butler and
servants of this rotten house.
One day, he should succeed his father and take over the title of Marquis, but he didn’t have
the slightest sense of mission to start a family.
“Let’s go”
Soon, the carriage carrying Grayson began to rattle off. He glanced at the mansion over the
window.
Then, naturally, he remembered his half-sister, Julia, who disappeared a year ago.
He wasn’t close to his sister, and he thought she was living well since she became Grand
Duchess.
He guessed it was not easy for her to live a prosperous life because his parents were like
trash.
Leaning his back against the seat, Grayson smiled. He didn’t have to guess how much
fortune they got from Julia, who became Grand Duchess
Even for Grayson, his parents were not decent people. His father pretended to be a soldier,
but in reality he was a bellicose and violent man, and his mother unleashed her resentment
of such a father on her young son.
That was what Grayson thought about Julia. She escaped on her own.
It was also amazing how the young girl had endured so far.
Unlike him, who left home to live and ran away in the name of studying abroad around the
age of twelve.
That was why he and Julia weren’t close as they spent only a couple of years together when
they were young.
Grayson kept his eyes closed and swept his hair in a plaintive manner.
At best, the daughter they had built to be the Grand Duchess was gone, and their heir son
had grown up to be a ruffian with not a shred of heart to make the house prosperous.
So in the end, the Marquis and his wife were doing as well as they had sown.
***
Julia had been spending time at the lord’s mansion twice a week these days.
This was because the lady of the mansion, who was satisfied with the reception room Julia
decorated last time, continued to entrust Julia with other chores.
She dozed off during the ride, and before she knew it, the carriage was at the entrance of
the mansion.
While Julia opened her eyes and checked the window, the coachman opened the door of the
carriage.
The wife of the lord, Marianne, who was just out in the front yard, rushed over to greet
Julia.
“Oh my god, your face is frozen red! Come in quickly. I’ll tell the servant to make some hot
tea.”
Marianne was three years older than Julia, but her two children were boys who were
already five years old.
Marianne, who had married at a very young age and had been lonely while living in an
unconnected estate, had been very fond of Julia from the beginning.
Thanks to Marianne, who did not care about status, Julia soon became comfortable with
her.
As soon as they entered the reception room and sat down in front of the tea table, a servant
brought them refreshments.
“Yes. There is one forest. Sometimes small animals come down there. Rabbits, foxes, and
deer. I don’t understand why he brings the children to hunt when it’s so cold.”
Marianne complained in a grumbling voice. Her tone was closer to that of a simple country
woman than a noblewoman. Because of that, the present time was more comfortable and
enjoyable for Julia.
While actively engaged in all kinds of conversation, Marianne suddenly looked at her
servant.
“Julia, don’t get married. No, if you do, let’s have all the fun you can before you do it. I wish I
had married him a little later. When I was a little girl, I thought I couldn’t live without that
man, and now I want to squeak and punch him, just him breathing next to me!”
Julia couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at the lively voice.
Oh, that said, the lord and his wife were a close couple.
“Hmm, but when I think about it, it’s kind of strange. Why Julia isn’t married yet?”
Marianne abruptly changed the subject to her, Julia opened her eyes wide and soon smiled
awkwardly.
Sometimes, like Marianne, people would ask why she wasn’t married, and Julia would give
them a straightforward answer.
She didn’t feel the need to hide it too much, since no one here knew her background
anyway.
“Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! Is it true? Why did you break up? Oh, it’s not polite to
ask these things, is it?”
Marianne, who had been listening excitedly, suddenly stopped talking. Julia kept her eyes
downcast and replied quietly.
Thinking that spitting out the words would make the atmosphere somewhat heavy, Julia
smiled, meaning that it was nothing to worry about anymore.
Marianne, who had been listening with a serious face, nodded and replied.
“I’m sorry to hear that. It must have been hard for you. I don’t know who it was, but I’d like
to see his face to see what kind of an idiot he is.”
She had been trying so hard to be fine, and now it didn’t hurt that much when she thought
of Fernan. At first, whenever her feelings for him grew, she had to frantically remind myself
of the bad moments with him. For example, his cold words and stares, or the painful things
she experienced at the castle.
“Yes, Julia. I’m planning to have a garden party in the greenhouse soon, will you come
then?”
Marianne, who had been fiddling with the cookies, changed the subject again.
“You know. I don’t have anyone close to me, and I don’t have many people to invite. So Julia
must come. Yes?”
Marianne looked at Julia with sparkling eyes, and Julia nodded pleasantly.
“Thank you! I was just getting angry because my husband was scolding me to throw a party
that no one was coming to anymore.”
As she listened to Marianne’s continuous chatter, the evening was quickly approaching.
Marianne kept asking her to stay for dinner, and Julia ended up sitting at the table with her.
Meanwhile, the lord and his children, who had left on a hunting trip, returned. The lord,
who put the children down from his arms, spoke to Marianne in a serious tone and left the
mansion again.
When Marianne returned to the dining room after seeing her husband off, she looked a
little pale.
“It seems that some of the knights who went out on border patrol have gone missing. We
couldn’t reach them at all. I guess my husband needs to go investigate it himself.”
The mountains surrounding the territory also bordered the border, and the thought that
something terrible might have happened suddenly worried her.
Marianne suggested that Julia should stay overnight since it was late.
The sky was all dark due to the shortening of the day.
Chapter 49
A week later, the garden party that Marianne had invited her to was just around the corner.
Julia had spent the evening arranging the flowers to make a bouquet to take to the party
tomorrow.
While she was working with cloth and ribbon, she heard someone’s voice through the door.
“That’s strange. I’m sure he said he’d be back by this morning. Or maybe there was
something wrong.”
It was Gabrielle’s voice. Julia listened to the voice without stopping her hands.
“Don’t worry. It just takes a little longer to patrol than usual. Jeremy, who catches wild
boars with his bare hands, what could happen?”
The voice that followed was that of Paul, the gardener. The conversation between the two
continued in Julia’s ear.
“If it really bothers you, I’ll go to the entrance of the mountain early tomorrow morning.”
The converter, which was going on for some time, disappeared from the corridor while
they were on their way.
Julia tied the ribbon tightly and thought of a man named Jeremy in their conversation.
Jeremy was one of the knights who guarded the monastery. He had just left a few days ago
when he was put in charge of guarding the entrance to the mountain on the border.
‘’… Come to think of it, I heard that some knights went missing in the mountains.”
Julia suddenly remembered what Marianne had said at the lord’s mansion.
She wondered if Jeremy’s not coming back had anything to do with that, which made her
worry even more. Holy Land was a country that had almost no conflicts with other
countries. In the name of being a country blessed by God, she heard that even common
looting was almost nonexistent.
However, Gabrielle said long ago that there were demons that often came up the mountain.
Many people were injured by them, and ever since then, they have been devoting more and
more to guarding the border.
It was hard to believe that such a thing had happened in such a peaceful and tranquil place.
Julia managed to suppress the faint worry that was rising in her heart, and finally finished
the bouquet.
She remembered that Marianne loved cookies, and she was going to bake a few.
As she slowly walked into the kitchen, Julia spotted Gabrielle at the stove.
Gabrielle placed freshly baked madeleines and various cookies on the table. The fragrant
and sweet smell filled the kitchen.
“I baked them for you to take to the party. It’s the first party you’ve been invited to so you
have to bring something in return.”
Julia looked down at the freshly baked cookies with her eyes wide open.
“I was going to make it, but you must have had a hard time because of me since dawn.”
“Go ahead and ask this old woman to do this sort of thing for you. It’s not like I don’t know
that you’re not talented in cooking.”
Gabrielle smiled mischievously, folding the edges of her wrinkled eyes. Julia followed her
and replied with a smile.
“Go and have a good time. Don’t worry about this place, you can stay there for as long as
you want.”
Julia nodded. She was grateful to Gabrielle for always taking care of her like a daughter.
Gabrielle wrapped the cookies and bread in a clean, dry white cloth and placed them in the
basket.
After the basket was handed to her, Julia went back to her room and put on a bright colored
winter dress that would look good for the party.
Finally, after putting on a long coat, she left the monastery with her hands full of luggage.
“I’ll be back.”
Soon the carriage slipped out of the gate and rattled on.
There was a quieter than usual atmosphere in the monastery after Julia left.
The priests had just left for the central temple for their annual event, and all that was left in
the monastery were a few workers, Gabrielle, and the children.
After lunch, Gabrielle headed to her room to put the children to bed. Naps were essential
for growing children.
Gabrielle, who had been watching over the children for a while, sat up immediately.
She checked her pocket watch and before she knew it, it was past two o’clock.
Wanting to do some embroidery, Gabrielle went back to her room and rummaged through
the basket that was placed in the corner.
“Oh my God!”
She hurried over to the door and grabbed the railing, but someone else slammed the door
open before her.
Standing at the gate was Paul, who had left the monastery earlier in the morning at
Gabrielle’s request.
“We have to run away! The demons, the demons are attacking us!”
Paul shouted with a pale face.
Riding his horse to the foot of the mountain early in the morning, Paul found that the
knights that stayed at the entrance of the mountain had been completely wiped out.
There were huge demons that were brutally tearing the soldiers to pieces and killing them.
Paul saw the scene and immediately returned to the monastery, but only after the demons
that had already crossed the mountain swept out the entire village.
Behind Paul, who had already collapsed, a man dressed in black was laughing with his
mouth wide open. Red and black blood splattered Paul’s body as he fell.
***
The snow, which had been fluttering thinly like snowflakes, intensified in the middle of the
ride.
From a small space in front of her, she could hear the mumbling voice of the horseman.
Julia looked out the window with the same worried look on her face.
They still had quite a while of driving to do to get to the mansion. The carriage was driving
slowly along the slippery road, and soon enough it entered the entrance of a certain street.
The carriage, which was running in full swing, stopped at some point, shaking dangerously.
Julia, who hit her head on the window, raised her head, groaning faintly.
Julia looked forward and was about to ask about the situation, when she suddenly covered
her mouth with her hand.
“Oh, ah…..”
It was because a strange beast appeared out of nowhere and immediately rushed towards
the horseman.
Boom!
The windowpanes of the carriage that had been vibrating so loudly from the rushing beast
broke at once.
Julia looked at the broken pieces of glass for a moment, then turned her gaze back to the
horseman.
The sight that met Julia’s eyes was that of a monstrous beast that grabbed the old man by
the neck and drove its teeth into him.
No, it was not a beast, but a demon. It was a huge monster that she had never seen before in
her life, and it was roaring with blood-red eyes.
“Oh, oh…”
Julia checked outside with her trembling body down. She could see another demon running
around in a similar shape, roaming the streets.
And in the meantime, a white-haired man in pitch-black robes was carrying on his steps
with ease.
Julia bent down more deeply, unable to make a sound of breath. The fear that took over her
entire body seemed to have completely stopped her thought process.
Then, in a flash, she heard a man’s voice coming from very close by.
And then, with a clatter and a turn of the handle, the carriage door was instantly torn open.
She trembled like a tree leaf as she slowly stepped back, a shard of broken glass clutched in
Julia’s hand.
“Kiyaaaaah!”
Julia jumped out of the carriage, desperately, still holding the piece of glass that had cut the
man’s face.
A shard of glass that was swung haphazardly seemed to cut deep into the man’s eyes.
“Ah!”
The demon that had brutally killed the horseman earlier surrounded her.
The demon, which bared its huge fangs, looked as if it was about to spring at her.
A shard of glass dug completely into her palm. Blood was oozing out, but Julia had no time
to feel pain.
It was a somewhat hesitant gesture, unlike the one that had just attacked the horseman all
at once.
Julia didn’t move a finger and faced the red eyes that were glaring at her.
The demon, which had been slowly circling around her, immediately opened its mouth and
leaped quickly at her.
“Ah!”
Julia screamed with her face buried in her arms as the fear reached its limit. With that, she
instinctively drew her holy power up to my fingertips. Gah! Along with the sound of
vibration, something loud and revolting could be heard. Julia slowly lowered her arm,
panting for a moment.
“How…?”
In her shaking vision, the demon engulfed in flames came into view.
Chapter 50
Although Julia was trembling, she captured the scene clearly in her eyes. The demonic
creatures engulfed in blue flames were burning.
The fire that spread in an instant to the ground and spread to the beasts that were
rampaging on both sides. Julia looked at the scene with her dazed eyes for a moment, then
suddenly came to her senses.
Julia, who had fallen down several times with her shaky legs, struggling to get up.
She forcibly pulled her hardened footsteps, and, not knowing where she was going, she just
ran recklessly.
But she couldn’t run away for long as someone grabbed her by the hair.
“Ah!”
The white-haired man, whose eyes were stained with bright red blood, was staring at her
with her angry expression.
“… Let go of me!”
Despite her trembling, Julia revived her previous feelings and raised her power once more.
“Ah!”
As Julia yelled painfully, the man laughed and continued to talk like a crazy person.
“You dared to rip my eyes apart, so I would have to tear your limbs apart.”
“Ahh…”
“But you have quite a strange power, so I’ll take you without killing you in particular. Well,
whether you die now or die later, the sacrifice is the same.”
Julia couldn’t even listen to the man properly, and she struggled desperately.
Julia, who was trying to raise her power again several times, felt something gushing out of
her body at that moment.
After being dragged for a while in that state, she was thrown hard into a carriage.
Bang, Julia groaned softly as she bumped into the window. She endured the pain and tried
to open her eyes, but her eyelids kept getting heavy.
She bowed her head and exhaled. At the same time, the carriage shook slightly.
Perhaps he was trying to drag the carriage, the man in the seat in front of her threw the
limp coachman at random.
Hearing the sound of the spell, hordes of creatures from all directions ran and surrounded
the carriage.
At this moment, the first thought that came to Julia’s mind was her concern for the people
of the monastery. Will Gabrielle and the children be safe?
Now, of all the times, the priests were absent and there was no one to protect the children.
Julia, who began to grasp the situation at that moment in her blinking mind, exhaled
heavily.
The strength of her whole body drained out in a hurry. With her droopy body leaning
against the seat, Julia struggled to lift her eyes and looked out the open space in the
carriage.
A while ago, the man completely ripped off the door, leaving a large hole in one side of the
carriage.
She could see monsters with hideous appearances running frantically following the
carriage.
What would happen if she was dragged by them like this? Earlier, she seemed to have
heard the word ‘sacrifice’ from the man.
“no……”
Julia muttered in a dying voice. As her mind wandered, the thought arose that she didn’t
want to die helplessly like this.
She was once very tired of living, but now she was not.
She wanted to live longer, happier, and safer than anyone else.
That was the moment. Along with the hilt of a sword that flew from somewhere, the
monsters that were close to the carriage turned around.
“What is that!”
“Aaaah! Ahhhhh!”
Looking at the monsters that fell easily, the man began to scream.
With that recoil, Julia’s body fell helplessly out of the carriage.
But what touched her body was not the hard frozen ground, but someone’s arms.
His large arms gently embraced her. In that state, her body slowly began to rise.
Julia looked at her own two legs floating helplessly in the air, and then she raised her head
to the person holding her.
Her gaze, which had been collapsing without focus, shook greatly for a moment.
The man she had been trying to forget for a year was right in front of her.
“… Julia.”
In her ears, the sound around her was humming heavily, and her vision was getting darker.
Looking at Fernan’s moving lips for the last time, Julia slowly lowered her eyelids. Her body
immediately shriveled up.
As if all senses were cut off for a moment, she fell into a deep sleep.
***
Deep in the dawn, Fernan couldn’t stand sane and swallowed his medicine. It was because
he hadn’t slept for a week.
The doctor said he would fall asleep quickly if he took the medicine because it had a strong
effect, but there was no effect on Fernan.
Far from being able to sleep, the drugs only stimulated the urge that was hard to suppress.
Despite the time he had endured for half a year, Fernan led the castle with a hazy mind. He
wanted to meet Julia. He wanted to capture Julia in his eyes once more.
Even if he couldn’t bring her back, he wanted to meet her. He wanted to hear her voice. He
wanted her eyes to reach him.
However, after taking a long time to arrive, the land was suddenly in a state of chaos.
“Your Majesty, we annihilated all the demons that attacked the monastery. However, the
Grand Duchess……”
His lieutenant, who had been planted in the Holy Kingdom under the pretext of checking
Julia’s current situation, was belatedly escorting the monastery.
However, many had already died, and Julia was not even there.
After that, Fernan couldn’t even remember what kind of spirit he went to find Julia with.
Frantically slashing the demons that had taken over the entire village, Fernan searched for
Julia’s whereabouts like a person who lost his reason.
It didn’t take long to find Julia. She had not gone very far from the monastery.
After holding Julia, who had fallen from her carriage without strength, Fernan’s head
flickered for an instant. Julia, whose lips were all wet with blood, was exhaling as if she
would break at any moment.
Her blue eyes, which were always clear, lost their light and quickly closed.
Holding her tightly in his arms, Fernan regretted his decision that day.
Had he known it was going to be like this, he wouldn’t have put her in a place like this.
Fernan, who looked down at her, who had lost her consciousness, vainly stared at the man
who had made her to this point.
He cut the man who was using magic to summon the demons in two with a single strike of
his sword.
It was so cruel that even the screams of the man could not be uttered.
Fernan, who gave the command in a hoarse voice, drove his horse while holding Julia
deeply in his arms.
A horde of monsters that appeared again from somewhere collapsed one after another by
the hands of only three knights.
***
They said the injuries were not serious. However, the problem was the traces of bleeding
and the consciousness that did not return.
The doctor, who had been holding Julia’s wrist for a long time to find out the cause of the
bleeding, could not easily speak.
After a while, the doctor, who shook his head, looked at Fernan.
All the doctors said the same thing. Because her pulse wasn’t working, it was impossible to
pinpoint her condition.
Chapter 52
“I’ll call someone first. When Your Grace wakes up, I should call the doctor right away…”
“Wait, wait.”
Then, after arranging her thoughts for a while, she opened her mouth in confusion.
“Yes? Ah, this is the Grand Duke’s villa in the southern part of the Grand Duchy.”
As soon as she heard her answer, Julia, whose complexion became white, squeezed
Melissa’s sleeve tightly and let out a trembling voice.
Julia, who stuttered and muttered, covered her mouth with her hand.
How did she encounter Fernan and how did she get to this place?
As Julia began to tremble anxiously, Melissa, surprised, grabbed her hand tightly.
“Your Grace, are you okay? I need to call the doctor first….”
After hearing Melissa’s flustered words, Julia lowered her gaze to her body.
Her outfit wasn’t the dress she had in her last memory. And for some reason, her palms
were bandaged.
Stuttering and hugging her arm, Julia opened her mouth again.
To the desperate question, Melissa could not easily come up with an answer.
It was because Melissa did not know the details of the situation either.
Then one of the knights came and took her somewhere saying it was His Highness’ orders.
It was at this villa that she followed the knight with her bewildered heart.
And unbelievably, Julia was here. Julia, whom Melissa had missed so much, was lying on her
deathbed.
“I only heard orders from the Grand Duke to take care of the Grand Duchess. How did you
come to this place, I don’t know…”
“… ”
“Your Grace, your complexion is too pale. Once again, lie down and I’ll get the doctor….”
At this moment, all she had in her mind was to get out of this place immediately.
Julia stepped on the floor, leaving Melissa behind, who was trying to stop her.
Not even conscious of her bare feet, there was no hesitation in her steps through the
hallway.
As Melissa, who had followed her helplessly, tried to grab her by force, someone appeared
from beyond her hallway.
It was Fernan who came back after talking with the doctor for a while.
“… Julia?”
At the soft voice calling her, Julia raised her head in an instant.
Julia, as if she couldn’t believe what she saw, slowly backed away from him.
“How …..”
While Julia was muttering in the distance, Fernan, who approached, looked carefully at her
complexion.
“… ”
He said so and grabbed her trembling hand. Julia, who flinched, reflexively shook off his
hand.
Fernan, who looked at his fallen hand for a moment, turned to look at Julia again.
It was only after seeing the frightened appearance that he noticed that Julia’s condition was
unusual.
“Now, why… .”
Julia murmured continuously with a cracked voice. Her legs were shaking and she couldn’t
even stand properly. She felt nauseous and her head was about to break. Her nerves were
breaking off one by one.
Fernan stared at her with a calm face. But Julia stepped back again when his words
sounded like he was trying to lock her up.
Julia has been living peacefully so far, thinking she was completely freed from the past.
She never thought for any reason that she would ever see Fernan again.
But soon after, she had to turn around after being held by a firm hand.
Fernan, who held her wrist lightly, asked calmly, and Julia looked up at him with an
exasperated face.
“… ”
Julia twisted her shaky hands, but Fernan’s big hand didn’t budge. And at this moment,
Fernan was feeling that there was something oddly wrong with her words.
“Julia.”
Looking at Julia, who could hardly regain her reason, Fernan spoke with a clear voice.
“… ”
At his question, Julia stopped her struggling movements and lifted her gaze. Fernan, who
read her reply from her silence, gradually released the strength from his hand that had held
her.
After a while, Fernan looked at her with a slightly more subtle face and lightly touched her
forehead.
“Yes. Yes!”
Melissa, who had stood at a distance and fidgeted, gave a quick reply, and then
disappeared.
Julia looked up at Fernan with her unwavering gaze, and then she took her steps again.
Fernan, who had let her walk staggeringly for some time, sighed heavily and caught up with
her at once.
Then he gently grabbed her slender waist and picked her up.
“Let me down!”
Ignoring Julia, who was hanging like a load of luggage, Fernan hurriedly walked back to the
bedroom.
Bang! Unlike the tightly closed door, the hand that put Julia down on her bed was careful.
Julia didn’t even have the strength to make any sound, she just looked at him as she
squirmed.
Her eyes filled with tears. The hem of her dress was pushed up from the struggle. Below
that, the ankles with only bones left.
Fernan, who was staring at her ankles, soon bent one knee slowly to meet her eye level.
He calmly waited for Julia, who could not answer right away.
After a while, Julia opened her mouth with a slightly awakened face.
“… I was in a carriage.”
“… ”
Julia sporadically continued her words and tried to bring back her memories, but still
couldn’t think of anything after that.
Did she fall asleep in the carriage? But she didn’t even remember falling asleep.
Julia nervously grabbed the blanket and she couldn’t continue her words anymore.
Fernan, who understood the situation to some extent, lowered his gaze and narrowed his
brow.
Perhaps Julia only remembered the situation before she encountered the monsters.
Fernan contemplated for a long time in silence.
Even if he told the truth, he was not sure if Julia would be able to handle it.
Perhaps Julia didn’t know she had lost her memory for a moment because of the horror she
had experienced for the first time in her life.
The doctor, Lockman, who hurriedly opened the door and came in, looked surprised as he
saw Julia awake.
Lockman was also very familiar to Julia. She was treated by him a few times at the Grand
Duke’s mansion.
But now she couldn’t afford to face him. Her head felt like it was going to explode.
“Ah….”
She tried to bring back her memories somehow, but the more she did it, the more her
breathing became urgent.
Even though she had no memory of it, her body had not forgotten the horror of that time.
Julia looked down at her hands, which did not stop trembling.
She had to know what happened, but she had a strange feeling that she shouldn’t know.
Julia closed her eyes tightly and covered her ears. She crouched down and started sobbing
involuntarily.
“Ah …”
As she was closing her eyes for a while, someone gently wrapped her shoulders. Julia, who
felt the touch, raised her eyes at that moment.
In her tearful eyes, Fernan had an expression that seemed to be somewhat bewildered and
helpless.
As he wiped her tears with his bewildered face, he then pulled her into his arms tightly.
Julia felt his hand stroking her back with a dazed face.
Her head, which had been engulfed by her fear, was gradually turned white by the sudden
great warmth. It was strange.
She had to push this man away, but somewhere a clumsy hand seemed to loosen her
tension.
“… ”
Looking at her cold sweaty forehead and trembling lips, 50,000 thoughts went through his
mind that night.
At first, he had a strong desire to revive the monsters that had already been brutally killed
and chopped them off painfully again.
Next, he agonized over how to explain the current situation to Julia, who was so
traumatized.
He thought that some of her memories have been lost due to the severe shock. In this case,
if he forcefully injected memories, she might go crazy.
‘It would be better to wait until the memory is automatically recalled. Until then, it’s best not
to touch her memory as much as possible.’
Fernan, who remembered the doctor’s words, tapped the table anxiously.
It must have been a great shock because she had never seen such a monster in her life, and
she almost got kidnapped.
“….D*mn it.”
He murmured lowly.
According to the knight who went out to the Monastery, the place had already become a
wasteland.
The Paladins of the temple rushed out, but the wartime situation with the monsters would
continue for a very long time. Naturally, Julia couldn’t go back there anymore.
No, after all that happened, Fernan could no longer let her go.
Most of those who remained in the monastery died. His lieutenant rescued only a woman
and a dozen children.
So it might be better to just let her misunderstand the situation like this. That the man, who
had been looking for her like crazy, caught her and forced her to this place.
That way, it would be better than recalling the painful memories that came upon her.
Fernan lowered his subdued gaze.
Meanwhile, the sky, which had been dark, gradually began to shine with the dawn of the
morning. Julia, who opened her eyes only late in the morning, had a more organized face.
Sitting alone in her empty bedroom, she gathered her thoughts for a while.
So, she was now at Fernan’s villa in the Grand Duchy. She didn’t remember how she got
here.
Raising her body, she approached the window with the curtains and opened the door. The
cold winter wind blew hard on her face.
An unfamiliar landscape could be seen through the window. A wide open plain and a lake.
Her mind was all confused, but one thing was clear.
Julia bit the inside of her tender mouth. She couldn’t even fathom how Fernan had found
her. But if she stayed like this, she would be dragged back to his castle.
When she had finished her thoughts, Julia turned and walked towards the door.
Thinking that she had no chance but now, Julia rushed to her steps.
She went down the stairs and when she reached her landing, she encountered Fernan, who
was going up the stairs. As she looked at him with her eyes wide open, Julia immediately
revealed her hardened face.
With a voice that was clearer than yesterday, Julia opened her mouth.
Fernan, who heard her voice and realized that her condition had calmed down to some
extent, answered.
Fernan blocked her front and briefly glanced at her, who was not even wearing a shawl.
“I’m going.”
Julia, who passed him silently, quickly went down the stairs.
After she entered the lobby on the first floor, Julia looked around for a moment and then
opened the door.
As the winter wind blew hard through the door and squinted her eyes for a moment,
something heavy rested on her shoulders.
Looking back, Fernan was putting his coat over her shoulders.
Julia took off the coat with a firm expression on her face. She then staggered out of the door
as she threw it at him.
As she was about to go down the stairs in front of the entrance, Fernan suddenly grabbed
her wrist.
Fernan turned her around and firmly put the coat on her again.
He gave her a tight grip to keep his big clothes that didn’t fit her from falling.
Julia narrowed her brow. And then she brought up her questions that filled her head.
A year has passed since Julia left him. Julia didn’t just run away, she even threw herself off a
cliff. But how he found her, she could not understand at all. Fernan, who looked down at
her calmly, gave her answer meekly.
“… ”
Julia’s eyes began to flutter. The priest he was talking about was definitely Cedric.
How the hell does this man know of Cedric’s existence? Did he know Cedric helped her to
escape….?
Julia’s lips twitched slightly in confusion. After painstakingly capturing her expression, she
opened her mouth again.
“… Even if that were the case, there would be no reason for you to bring me back.”
“… ”
There was no way he could find me if she was useless, Julia had a face that was very sure.
Fernan, who slightly wiggled her eyes at her question, answered in a calm tone.
Julia let out a small laugh. To anyone who heard it, they would have thought that she and
this man were a normal couple.
Suddenly, the cold wind gave her a chill, her body crumpled slightly as she looked up at
him.
Fernan was a man who never had any respect for her.
Does he remember what he said? And does he even know how much scars those words left
her?
Fernan looked at Julia with his darkened eyes. And he continued to speak in a voice
somewhere unrefined.
“… ”
“Because I regretted all the many mistakes I’ve made to you and I’ve regretted it again and
again.”
After bowing her head for a moment and then lifting it up again, Julia showed her firm face.
For her, the man named Fernan was always hardened like a propositional word.
A man who hated her. A cold-hearted husband who couldn’t be nice to her for no reason.
Julia raised her lips coldly for an instant and stared straight at him.
“Now that you say that, nothing will change.”
Julia opened her intertwined lips and let out a quiet voice.
“… .”
Yes, she once loved this man. Her heart trembled at the sight of his gaze on her, and her
heart melted helplessly at the generous attitude he showed her from time to time.
But not now. The heart that loved him left behind when she left the castle a year ago.
After she abandoned the love that had always tormented her, she became happier than
ever before.
“… ”
“I hope you don’t even remember that there was a person like me. I will also forget Your
Highness and live.”
Julia lifted her calmer face. She could see his eyes shaking aimlessly.
She avoided his gaze and looked down at her feet, then turned around.
As she was about to move away, Fernan grabbed her and pulled her closer to him.
“… !”
In the narrow distance, Julia opened her eyes wide and looked at him. His eyes, which had
shimmered slightly until a moment ago, had lost their light.
With an empty face that had completely killed his expression, he muttered as if he was
engraving word by word.
Fernan desperately pressed her hand, which had been grabbed unilaterally. Like never to
let go again. He could no longer see Julia moving away again.
Wishing her happiness, he respected her new life, which he himself could not possibly
intervene.
Even if Julia became unhappy again by his side…he couldn’t help it.
Her misfortune, pain, and resentment were all his. Every emotion and every thought of her
had to be his own.
“Why…”
Julia, who blinked her eyes at his unusual momentum, suddenly pushed his chest away
with her other hand.
“Don’t leave”
“… ”
At this moment, in her vision, Fernan looked like a broken person. Julia looked up at him,
not thinking that she would shake her hand any longer.
As she stared into his deep, distant eyes, as if he was about to swallow her.
“I….”
Before she could finish her words, Fernan leaned down. For a moment, surprised by his
approaching face, her body suddenly lifted upwards.
He hated it and had to struggle to let it go, but strangely, his body did not have any strength.
As they went up the stairs and passed the hallway, Melissa, who was just standing in front
of the bedroom, was startled and bowed her head.
At that moment, Yulia, who suddenly came to her senses, struggled in his arms.
Despite the hand that pushed him forcefully, Fernan steadfastly crossed the room and
approached the bed.
As she was placed on the bed, Julia opened her mouth unsteadily again.
“Are you going to lock me up like this again? Again, take me to this hell….”
For Julia, he was hell. It was just a prison where she couldn’t live comfortably.
He took a step back and turned around slowly. Julia looked at his overbearing back as he
walked away and touched her forehead.
Thump-thump, feeling her precariously beating heart, she lowered her gaze. Her vision was
gradually blurring.
***
In the morning after not being able to sleep all night, the attending physician, Lockman,
came to visit Julia.
It was only then that Julia learned that she had been unconscious for 10 days since she was
taken to Fernan.
It was the first time she had been unconscious for so long, since she fell off a cliff a year ago.
Lockman grabbed her wrist and felt her pulse for a while. He was gauging something with
his gaze down, and soon raised his head.
“Fortunately, I can feel your blood vessels beating a little now. But….”
“…that, the blood flow is still not smooth. The blood flow to her heart is blocked.”
Lockman glanced at Julia, who was sitting there with her expressionless face.
Julia had a pale complexion and a quiet face as if she had no pain.
However, she was mentally concentrated and only trying to forget her pain.
Julia was noticing that at this moment, her power had faded a lot more than before.
Previously, it had felt like a mist in my heart, but now it was barely felt.
Looking at Julia, who had an empty expression, Fernan wrapped his chin with nervousness.
He heard reports from the doctor whom he had sent to Holy Land the other day that she
was gradually getting better.
But contrary to reports, she recently lost her consciousness for a long time.
In the end, it was self-evident that her current condition must have been worse than it had
been.
“First of all, it is better to take pain reliever along with the drug that helps blood
circulation.”
Her condition was somewhat subtle for a common heart disease, but for now it was for the
best.
“After taking the prescribed medicine, we will monitor the progress. Then, I’ll get going
now.”
As Fernan nodded his head, Lockman bowed deeply, then turned around.
Click, the door closed and only the two of them were left in the bedroom. Fernan opened
his mouth in an unsuitably cautious voice.
“…”
As he reached out and touched her forehead, Julia quickly turned her head to avoid his
touch.
Fernan stared at her, who never looked at him for a moment, then turned away.
Perhaps he thought that putting Melissa by her side would make her more stable.
However, Julia has not yet finished her understanding of this situation. It was the same
with Melissa.
Julia looked at him for the first time with her sullen face.
Fernan caught her in his eyes. An expression that didn’t want to stay with him for a
moment. She looked like she was embarrassed to even face him.
Julia, who looked at him like that, approached her like a dagger, but Fernan was just silently
muttering.
His eyes dimmed like darkness. He knew that no word could change her mind.
Julia looked straight at the man standing in front of her with her eyes narrowed.
All kinds of desperate emotions were on his face, which was always handsome.
Just as she was suddenly puzzled by the sight, she heard a still voice from him that killed all
his emotions.
“… ”
While Julia looked at him with an expression that was difficult to understand, the low voice
continued.
Begging or coercion, in the end this man was going to lock her up again.
He means that he will lock her in his cage and let him enjoy everything only in it. As before.
There was hatred towards him in her scornful voice. Julia lowered her gaze.
Even if she had no choice but to be imprisoned like this, she would never behave the way
he wanted.
Fernan was willing to see her even that way. He wanted to accept all her hate, resentment,
and anger.
***
Meanwhile, Julia didn’t even have the energy to run away, so she had to stay in her
bedroom all day.
She wasn’t feeling well. As the days passed, she lost her strength.
What’s more, she found out later that this place was lying on the side of a mountain.
It meant that trying to run away from the frozen mountains in winter was tantamount to
suicide.
She was lost in thought for a while, and after a while she heard a knock on the door.
Julia neither looked back nor approached and opened the door. It was because she knew
who it was without checking.
“Julia.”
A familiar voice could be heard, but Julia did not turn her head.
She then heard the sound of him laying down the tray on the table.
“Julia.”
Then she slowly turned her head. Fernan, standing close to her, was quietly looking down
at her.
“Eat.”
It was a firm, but not coercive voice. Julia looked at him while biting her lower lip.
Fernando look over her skinny body silently. A thinner body than a week ago. He could only
see Julia standing in his eyes.
“Hold your anger only on me. Don’t abuse yourself in this way…”
However, she couldn’t break her weak pride. If she did even the smallest thing as he
wanted, it would make her feel like she complied to this situation.
Looking at her clenching her hand tightly, Fernan whispered to her softly.
“… ”
Then he stared at her as if he was carving her in his eyes for a moment, then turned around.
Julia turned back without even looking at him as he was moving away.
Through the window, she could see the sky with the sun rising. But her heart was dim
without a single ray of light.
Chapter 55
That night, an old memory appeared in a dream.
It was a memory of the day when she confessed her heart to Fernan.
That day, Fernan had said so in a voice without a single hint of warmth.
His cold expression, which made her heart ache, was vividly portrayed as if it had
happened yesterday.
After waking up from her sleep, Julia slowly opened her eyes and slowly got up.
However, her long-standing memories, which were brought out unconsciously, made her
mind shattered and she could not fall asleep again.
After she put on a thick shawl that was hung to one side, she walked towards the door.
She opened the door and saw an empty hallway. Julia, who had been walking along the
hallway like that, finally stood in front of the stairs.
At dawn like this, whether she thought there was no way she could escape, or whether she
was being watched from behind, no one was seen in the hall.
She went down the stairs slowly, and soon passed through the door.
As if it was snowing, she could feel her feet sinking with every step she took.
When she lifted her head, at first glance, the tall trees were visible under the moonlight.
After walking for a while through the trees, Julia soon stopped on a long bridge across the
lake.
The winter lake she had been looking through the window the whole time. But it was the
first time she came out and saw it in person like this.
The lake shimmering in the moonlight was covered with thin ice.
Julia leaned against the railing, keeping the shining lake in her sight for a long time.
Then, someone grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back.
“…Ah.”
At that moment, focus returned to Julia’s eyes, which had been empty the whole time.
When she raised her head to check behind her, Fernan, with a surprised look on his face as
if he had been running in a hurry, immediately came into view.
Was she trying to run away from him? Or was she unconsciously wanting to get some
wind?
Julia couldn’t answer her own questions and tried to take his hand off. However, Fernan
wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hugged her with a more tenacious strength.
It was only then that Julia realized that his breathing was trembling.
He thought she was going to throw herself into such deep water. He took her completely
into his arms with a desperate touch.
Julia could feel his stiff body rising and falling slowly behind her back.
She gently lowered her hand which was pushing him away. He was shaking so badly that
she couldn’t shake it any longer.
・・・ What is it that makes him tremble like this? His appearance was strange and
unfamiliar.
With her mouth shut, Julia tried not to be conscious of the warmth she felt behind her back.
After a while, Fernan’s breathing gradually calmed down. His hands that were holding her
in his grip loosened.
Taking advantage of the gap, Julia escaped from his arms and slowly turned around.
As he raised his gaze from a distance, he was met with twinkling golden eyes.
His eyes now were not the cold ones she saw in her dreams. His temperature was
completely different from that time.
“… Julia.”
His large hands wrapped around her cheeks and began to gently caress her. As if he still
couldn’t trust his vision of her standing in front of him like this.
Despite the cold winter wind, his hands were very warm.
Julia, who looked into his eyes under the moonlight, quickly regained consciousness and
turned her head.
His hand, which had stayed in the air for a moment, was then removed.
“You must have been frustrated because you’ve been in the bedroom all this time.”
Julia then lifted her head up and looked up at him, who looked friendly.
“I had no intention of doing that from the beginning. As long as you stay in my sight, you
can go anywhere.”
Julia looked back slowly at his words. At first glance it sounds like he was going to set her
free, but in the end it meant that she had to be accompanied by him wherever she went.
She didn’t even have the energy to sigh, Julia just lowered her gaze. And she soon let out a
quiet voice that contained her questions.
“I don’t know what benefit you are getting for me to be here.”
She had lost consciousness for a long time and from the moment she opened her eyes, she
had not been able to accept this situation.
“I don’t need any kind of benefits. As long as you stay by my side, that’s enough.”
“… ”
Julia lowered her eyelids halfway and then she lifted them up again. She still couldn’t
understand his words.
But the way he looked at her was so unfamiliar that she had no choice but to keep her lips
shut. The warmth this man was showing now was temporary.
It would never last long. Maybe Fernan was mistaken for a moment for wanting her now.
The wife who ran away from his watch and hid for a year.
He was a man who has never lost anything in his life, so it may have hurt his pride.
Julia repeated this to herself for a long time. She would never be fooled by this man.
And she slowly tightened her shawl as if to protect herself. Only then did she turn away
from him.
Fernan followed her quietly from a distance of one step away as she moved hurriedly.
***
Cedric arrived at the monastery when access to the outside of the temple was granted.
It had been a month since the Holy Kingdom was invaded by monsters without notice.
Monster. To be more precise, the day the demon magicians appeared was the time of the
annual event at the Great Temple.
They didn’t even know that the monsters were aiming for that day. As a result, many
unprotected people suffered meaningless sacrifices.
And still, they were pouring out demons all over the place without end.
In the end, in the Great Temple, it was declared that the war with the demons would
continue for a long time.
The village where Cedric stayed was also difficult to access due to ongoing battles, and he
could not visit the monastery for a long time.
About a month later, he was told that the situation in the village had calmed down to some
extent.
After that, Cedric was able to go straight to the village with the paladins.
He already knew that there was a sea of blood everywhere. But until he saw it with his own
eyes, he could hardly believe it.
After personally checking the ruined monastery, Cedric lowered his head as if he was
breaking apart.
“A total of eight bodies were found here, and we had no choice but to burn them all for fear
of an infectious disease.”
A knight approached and spoke quietly. The bodies found inside the monastery were
quickly retrieved by knights who had arrived in advance.
“Ah..l..”
Cedric trembled as he buried his face in his hands. Those who would have been killed in
vain were all people who lived with him.
For this moment, he couldn’t help but resent the God who was his life. Cedric longed for all
this to be his dream.
“It appears that there are no survivors. Or, is it true that the number of those who remain in
this monastery is eight?”
The knight spoke in a subdued voice. Cedric took a deep breath and then slowly lifted his
head.
“…no.”
The knight, who nodded his head, gave an answer quickly. The bodies were so decomposed
that it was difficult to identify the faces, but it was possible to determine the genders and
age.
The knight took out a note stating the identity of the bodies and handed it to Cedric.
His eyes began to tremble like crazy when he hurriedly checked the contents of the note.
In fact, it was all just adult male records. There were no children or women.
This meant that Gabrielle, Julia and the children were not found here.
The reason the Holy Kingdom was invaded by demons this time was because the enemy
had a clear purpose.
The purpose of offering eternal life to their king by sacrificing those with divine powers.
As a result, the priests who stayed in the Great Temple were also in danger.
In other words, there was a possibility that Gabrielle and the children did not know, but
Julia was taken away by them.
“Priest, the demons haven’t been completely wiped out yet. You never know when they will
appear again in this town, so you must forget your sorrow for a moment.”
The knight said to Cedric, who was standing frozen, with a sad and determined face at the
same time.
War was cruel. Because it didn’t even give people time to mourn someone’s death.
Cedric didn’t know that before. And he couldn’t get his mind out of this horrendous
situation.
At that time, another paladin who came to check the vicinity of the monastery quickly
approached them.
The knight pounded something heavy on the floor. It was the corpse of a monster with
several fragments.
“I looked around and found these corpses all over the outside of the monastery.”
“This….”
“Yes, this is not the swordsmanship of the Paladins. Maybe someone else fought a battle
here.”
The demons that were completely burned like that were supposed to disappear like
blowing ashes.
This meant that someone other than the paladins fought a battle here.
It was the work of those who were accustomed to confrontation with demons, and who
knew how to kill monsters without divine power.
Cedric, who was speechless, approached the corpse that the knight had laid down.
Soon, his eyes slowly returned to focus. He didn’t know why, but a man suddenly came to
his mind.
Chapter 56
Grand Duke Caesar. The man who was Julia’s husband.
It was a really random and unlikely idea. But at this moment, Cedric thought that that man
might have been here… He was caught up in such a vain intuition.
Either way, if this lie-like premonition was correct, the missing people might be safe.
Cedric pushed the despair that filled his heart to a corner for a moment.
For now, he had to focus on that possibility. At the slightest possibility that the Grand Duke
might have taken Julia safely.
Even if it was an absurd assumption, he had to hold onto the string of hope.
***
And at the same time, Julia was sitting in front of her window, looking into space.
She tried her best to recall her own absent memories so far, but she still hadn’t figured out
anything.
On the contrary, her head felt like it was going to break. As if in her subconscious, she
herself denied her memory.
The point where her memory was cut off was probably just before she met Fernan.
However, Fernan didn’t say anything about that time.
Julia suddenly spread her palms. A slight scar remained in the center.
It seemed like it was caused by a sharp edge, but she couldn’t remember when this also
happened.
While looking down at her hand for a while, she felt her head throbbing again.
“…. Ah.”
She lowered her head as she was, and took a small breath.
She kept getting headaches like this over and over again, and she couldn’t keep up with her
thoughts for a long time.
She stumbled her way to the bed and laid her exhausted body down.
‘It’s hurt… ‘
She had headaches like this before. But after coming here, the same pain seemed to come
more painfully.
Her forehead was covered in cold sweat. The sound of shallow breathing echoed through
the bedroom. After moaning like that for a while, she suddenly lost her mind.
Then again, faintly, someone touched her forehead. The hand, which was neither hot nor
cold, with moderate warmth, stayed on her for a long time.
Her head was still confused, but Julia left the hand to stay as it was. Then the back of the
firm hand gently pressed against her cheek.
It was a delicate touch that seemed to measure heat. As she gently lifted her hazy eyelids, a
figure of someone entered her vision.
“… Cedric?”
The hand that had been roaming her cheek stopped for a moment.
“I am fine….”
There was warmth in her faint muttering words. What was now in her mind was a memory
of one day.
She remembered Cedric, who was by her side and nursed her all night the day she
collapsed after the first bleeding.
When no answer came back, Julia’s eyes closed again. As she quickly fell asleep again, the
stiff hand slowly retreated.
‘… Cedric.’
Even though her voice was not clear, Fernan clearly understood her words.
Suddenly, in the corner of his memory, a gloomy man’s face was drawn.
A young priest with green eyes. The man who helped Julia escape and took her to the Holy
Land to stay with him. Fernan’s face grew an unprecedented sullenness.
There was warmth in Julia’s voice, who called the person’s name in her sleep.
It was a voice that he had never heard of since she came here.
Fernan briefly recalled the day he headed to the Holy Land. That day, the priest named
Cedric was not in the monastery.
Fernan’s gaze with a faint murderous intent stared out the window for a moment.
And in the eyes that looked down again and looked at Julia, there was a strong focus
instead. He reached out and touched her disheveled, light hair again, stroking her cheeks
with his fingers.
Anyway, Julia was by his side. He would never let her go again.
Fernan’s gaze faded like darkness. Contrary to the gentle touch that caressed her, cruel
thoughts ran through his mind.
Will she shine her warm eyes on him just once like before?
‘…no. No way.’
He already knew that no matter what he did, Julia’s heart would not come to him. Rather, if
he killed Cedric, Julia would hate and resent him even more than she does now.
He wiped his face with his big hand. It felt like something hot was welling up in his chest.
Killing the many emotions that came to mind, he stayed by the sleeping Julia’s side for a
long time. By the time he got out of her bedroom, it was dawn without a single light.
***
It took a long time to cross from the Holy Land to the Empire. Before heading to the
Formene Empire, Cedric went through the Temple of Ilion.
It was because of the thought that if Julia had really come here, she would have sent
communication to the temple.
So when he entered the temple, Matheus, who was just out of the garden, greeted him.
Having sent a telegram ahead of time on his way, Matheus took Cedric to the priest’s office
without any other regards.
Cedric clasped his hands tightly as he looked at Matheus who was talking straight away.
“But as you guessed, it seems that Julia is in the realm of the Grand Duke.”
“Really?”
Matheus held out a letter from inside his pocket. Cedric checked the source of the letter and
covered his mouth with a trembling hand.
“…Gabrielle.”
Surprisingly, it was a letter from Gabrielle. Cedric, who hurriedly took out the content,
carefully scanned the letter.
To summarize, it was said that Gabrielle was currently staying with the children in the
southern part of the Empire, the Richel estate. She said the man who protected them from
the Holy Land and brought them there, so that they could stay there for the time being.
“Richel is a territory located in the southern part of the Empire. Its owner is Grand Duke
Caesar.”
“… ”
Cedric gently crumpled the letter. The battle in the monastery. It was now clear that it was
the Grand Duke’s work.
Cedric slowly removed his gaze from the letter and answered.
Breaking into the realm of the Grand Duke and coming to rescue Julia was close to
impossible right now.
Seeing Cedric with his face distorted anxiously, Matheus reassured him in a calm tone.
“Don’t worry. Given that Gabrielle and the children were protected separately, the Grand
Duke will not harm Julia.”
Just being by his side would be a great deal of trouble for her.
Evening of the festival, Cedric never forgot her face that smiled brightly at him.
“Cedric.”
Matheus called for Cedric as if urging him. He felt that Cedric’s feelings for Julia were
unusual.
A priest who worshipped and served the gods should never be caught up in personal
emotions.
As he knew, Cedric had been patient. For a priest, the feeling of love was like a shackle.
All the ordinary moments with her were always new to him.
Julia was a person whom he could not help but be drawn to her.
Matheus sighed faintly as he looked at Cedric, who lowered his head without answering.
If emotions were something people could control themselves, no one would make a
mistake.
That much was known for sure. Julia was kind to everyone and she shared the same heart
with everyone.
It was always Cedric alone who followed her with such a young gaze.
Chapter 57
“Don’t worry. This mind will be cleared up soon.”
He wasn’t expecting anything from her in the first place. It was good enough that he could
just be by her side.
Matheus’s heavy voice descended. Cedric just kept his lips shut.
“For now, just think that Julia is safe. If she needs our help, she will definitely contact here.”
As if Matheus evoked, he changed the direction of the conversation. There was a depth that
could not be hidden in the words that followed.
He could feel it. Because the holy power in her heart was originally his.
It seemed like she used her power for some reason. Or it was just time for the lights to go
out.
Since she survived under that cliff, her vitality was like a burning embers. It was weak
enough to be easily extinguished by even the slightest rain and wind… Now he wasn’t quite
sure when and how the rain and wind would blow her out completely.
“Matheus, I will go to the estate where Gabrielle and the children are.”
While Matteus was worried, Cedric calmly asked for permission. He was planning to go
there and check their safety in person.
“Yes, be careful.”
At that moment, Cedric, who slightly curved his lips, nodded helplessly.
***
Julia, who had not been outside her for a while, went for her first daytime walk after
coming here.
She walked for a while along the promenade in front of the villa. With each step she took,
the pleasant sound of the rustling grass was pleasantly heard.
As the day dawned, the wide fields that had been buried in the snow were also filled with
green.
It was the warmth of spring that melted Julia’s frozen heart, even for a brief moment. Julia
briefly looked back on her past two months.
During those long days, Fernan didn’t ask her for anything.
He didn’t even try to take her to his castle, and he didn’t force anything, not even the
slightest. Indeed, as if to prove his words that being by her side was all he wanted. He was
also reluctant to see her, and he never came to visit her as meaningless as before.
Instead, at night, he would disappear after watching her sleep for a long time.
When Julia woke up from time to time with a hand caressing her cheek, she would hear him
murmured in a quiet voice.
It was a series of unfamiliar behavior that she couldn’t understand and didn’t want to
understand.
Julia shook her head slightly, clearing the thoughts from her head.
At that time, Melissa, who had been following her, suddenly spoke to her.
Then Julia looked back at Melissa and shook her head lightly.
“Melissa.”
“Yes?”
Melissa came closer. Melissa has been by her side for the past two months.
Although they parted one year, her thoughts were still there.
So she thought that maybe Melissa could help her send a letter to the monastery.
“Has your Highness ever commanded the servants not to leave the villa?”
“No, he didn’t give me such an order. But we will probably need permission to go out.”
Melissa gave a quick reply. After contemplating for a while, Julia spoke again.
“Actually, I want to send a letter to the place where I used to live… If you leave the villa, can
you send it?”
She couldn’t get out of here. Of course, the other day Fernan said she could go anywhere,
but that didn’t mean she could interact with the Holy Land.
If she sent the letter herself, it was clear that it would fall into his hands before the letter
even left.
It was only then that Julia slowly opened her mouth as if she was relieved.
Even if she was safe, she wanted to tell the monastery. Everyone must be very worried
about her by now.
She had no intention of asking them for help. Because it might hurt them too.
“By the way, do you plan on going back there again someday?”
Melissa looked into her eyes and asked cautiously.
Julia, who was seen through Melissa’s eyes, was still coldly closing her heart to Fernan.
She didn’t even look at him when he came, and when he spoke to her, she barely
responded. Watching her hardened expression as if it was uncomfortable for Julia even
being with him.
Having only seen her like that for two months, Melissa had no choice but to worry about
whether Julia was okay to be here.
She had a place she had to go back to. Now, although she was being obedient because she
didn’t have a chance, her thoughts had not changed.
Julia looked at Melissa, who looked at her worriedly, and remembered other faces.
Gabrielle and the children, Cedric, and everyone who lived with her in the monastery.
Strangely, when she thought about whether they were doing well, her heart would pound
and beat dangerously. As if somewhere in her heart was uneasy.
‘…why?’
Julia, who had been walking with a confused face, turned around.
Because Fernan, standing near the doorway, was watching her from afar.
She tried to walk past him, but Fernan followed her straight inside.
A calm voice came from behind her. Julia climbed the stairs without stopping her steps.
“You are still not feeling well. The heat is the same.”
“… ”
“I called another doctor, I think it would be better to check again and get a new
medication.”
Julia, who was walking quickly down the hallway, stopped for a moment.
“I don’t want to receive treatment anymore. Just keep giving me the medicine I’m taking
now.”
She continued to take the medicine because it prevented the apparent symptoms to some
extent. But seeing doctors was no longer meaningful.
After reciting as if to notify, Julia moved her feet again. Normally if she cut him off like this,
he wouldn’t follow her anymore.
But today, for some reason, his footsteps did not stop.
His big hand grabbed the doorknob before Julia. His arms touched slightly behind her back.
“Julia.”
Fernan, who narrowed their distance as if imprisoning her in his arms, opened his mouth
slightly.
It was a voice that descended nervously. Julia stiffened her body for a moment.
His low voice continued to flow over her head while she couldn’t even look behind her
because of the close distance.
Julia avoided him every day and pushed him away. She never gave him a long glance.
She did not know that it crushed Fernan’s heart every day. Julia, who was silently looking at
the back of his hand, did not look back, but slowly moved her lips.
“Let me go.”
At the same time, she gently touched the back of his hand as she grabbed the doorknob. She
felt the back of his firm hand twitch.
At Julia’s touch, Fernan gently removed his hand. At that moment, Julia, who grabbed the
doorknob and turned it, slowly entered the bedroom.
Without looking back at him even once, she closed the door behind her.
Chapter 58
Standing in front of the tightly closed door, Fernan dropped his gaze.
If she could just look at him with her gentle glowing eyes, that would be enough, but her
warmth didn’t turn toward him no matter what.
After staring at the door where Julia had disappeared for a long time, Fernan turned
around.
His heavy footsteps headed for his office on the first floor.
Lloyd, who was standing in front of him, bowed in silence and then suddenly approached.
Then he held out the letter and reported.
“This is a letter from the Imperial Palace. It is said that the emperor’s servants visited the
castle twice.”
Currently, Fernan has been away from the castle for a long time without revealing where he
was. As a result, the imperial servant often went back in vain.
Fernan, who received the letter with an expressionless face, ripped open the envelope.
“It seems that the emperor was even more angry because you did not attend the Empress’s
birthday celebration.”
Lloyd sighed and continued. That day, Fernan found Julia and brought her back from the
Holy Land, so there was no time for banquets or anything like that.
Even so, the Emperor has been suffering from severe anxiety since the disappearance of
Julia. Probably because he was afraid of not being able to keep Fernan on his side any
longer.
In the meantime, Fernan didn’t even attend the big ceremony of the imperial family, so an
uncomfortable feeling must have risen to the top of his head by now.
“… ”
He twisted one of his lips with a smirk. This kind of crude threat doesn’t seem to change
over the years.
From a very young age, Fernan rolled like a chess piece on the Emperor’s political board.
Even then, the Emperor’s pattern was always the same.
The Emperor told his young nephew, who had not come of age, to show evidence of
allegiance every day.
“Even if it is cumbersome, I think it would be good to visit this time. After you leave, finish
the mining industry and take a look around the local estates.”
Lloyd suggested implicitly. It was true that he hadn’t been to the capital for a long time, so
he needed to visit at least once.
The Emperor was an old man who was good at scheming. As his dissatisfaction grew more
than this, he didn’t know what other schemes the Emperor would use to frame Fernan.
Lloyd asked cautiously, looking at Fernan, who was lost in thought for a moment.
She was the only subject that had been occupied with his nerves recently.
It’s been almost two months since he left the castle and moved to this villa to stay with
Julia.
“Don’t worry too much. Adrian isn’t left. We’ve placed enough knights around.”
Despite Lloyd’s words, Fernan didn’t answer, he just tapped and tapped the desk.
Fernan knew that the quiet Julia, who was full of thoughts of leaving him at any time.
Fernan, who had been silent for a while, opened his mouth with his eyes organized.
While Fernan was away from the villa for the first time, Julia spent time alone.
She told Melissa, who went to mail the letter, to take a few days off.
When she returned to the villa after her walk, she saw someone standing in front of the
entrance. It was Adrian, Fernan’s lieutenant.
“Grand Duchess.”
Adrian bowed his head towards her. At that moment, Julia’s eyes began to widen as she
glanced at his face.
Adrian opened his mouth, straightening his posture. However, Julia just stared at him in
silence.
It was only when Adrian showed an embarrassed expression on his face that Julia took a
step back.
She was sure she had seen him before, but she couldn’t remember exactly.
How many times did she see him by Fernan’s side at the Grand Duke’s castle?
Julia, who was tilting her head as she felt something, took her steps. Adrian let out a sigh of
relief as he saw Julia passing him.
Adrian was a knight Fernan had planted in the Holy Kingdom a while back.
She might remember him passing by, although they never really met each other.
Now Julia only knew that Fernan had brought her here by force.
As Julia lost her memory, she had no choice but to misunderstand it like that, but Fernan
just left her misunderstanding intact.
Contrary to her misunderstanding, Fernan would have brought her if the Holy Kingdom
had not been invaded by demons.
As it was the case for half a year, he would want her to continue to live peacefully by
protecting her from afar and helping her to live without any lack.
Even now, he has been hiding her survival without letting anyone know.
“… Phew.”
Adrian sighed briefly. As Fernan’s long-time subordinate, this situation was only hopeless.
***
Central palace.
As he walked down the long hallway, the attendants bowed their heads in unison towards
Fernan.
Eventually, when he arrived in front of the Emperor’s reception room, the servant opened
the door politely. Fernan, who entered the room slowly, bowed to the emperor with an
expressionless face.
As always, he seemed polite, yet somehow arrogant. The emperor opened his mouth
without hiding his displeasure.
“Have you finally come? Seeing that you made me wait so long, the Grand Duke must have
been very busy.”
Despite the sarcastic remarks, Fernan responded without changing his expression.
“… ”
The Emperor frowned and shook his head in disapproval.
Taking a deep breath, the emperor returned to his normal expression. The voice that came
out was as kind as possible.
“Yes, I won’t call you anymore. I am well aware of the many territories ruled by the Grand
Duke, but I can’t help but feel disappointed about this.”
The emperor, who was slowly stroking his beard as if examining Fernan’s expression,
looked away only after someone knocked on the door.
The emperor, who immediately gave permission, looked at Fernan and smiled generously.
As soon as the emperor finished speaking, the servant opened the door and went inside.
Behind the servant, a woman cautiously appeared.
When the emperor nodded happily, the woman quietly walked up to him and gracefully
greeted the emperor.
The woman with a gentle expression smiled at the emperor and then turned to Fernan.
Fernan wrinkled his eyebrows softly as he looked at the woman who blinked her eyes shyly
towards him. Because he knew at once what this sudden situation meant.
The emperor smiled softly at Fernan and opened his mouth again.
“She is the famous daughter of Viscount Cerevis. Not long ago she went studying abroad,
she recently moved to the Capital.”
The emperor looked at Fernan and the woman with a happy face and spoke.
“I heard you declared that you would not accept courtship, but you can’t leave the position
of the Grand Duchess vacant forever. The age when the Grand Duke was just too
prosperous has passed.”
This must be the Emperor’s real purpose for sending people and annoying him so many
times.
“ I thought hard and agonized as it is my only nephew’s new marriage. Viscount Cerevis is
one of my long-time vassals, and he will be a good partner with the Grand Duke.”
Seeing the emperor talking about his marriage as if it was natural, Fernan’s face changed
cold.
It was as if he (emperor) was convinced that he (Fernan) could not disobey his order.
The emperor feared and restrained his powers, but at the same time treated him as nothing
but his young nephew.
He (emperor) still couldn’t admit it. His nephew, who was thrown into the battlefield with
no one by his side (Fernan), returned with power that threatened him.(emperor)
Chapter 59
Fernan tilted his head and stared at the emperor. And he glanced at the daughter of
Viscount Cerevis.
Cerevis. A family that had been pushed out of the capital for a long time due to
misconnection two generations ago.
However, they did not stand out only externally, and they were a family that was more
active underground than anyone else.
And a brothel operating illegally on the night streets outside the capital.
This was a fact that Fernan learned during the process of identifying the source of the
potion that Marquis Elody once tried to give him through Julia.
Fernan, who finished his thoughts in a brief moment, quickly made up a bright smile.
“I do not know what to do, Your Majesty, because you have spared no heart for this
nephew.”
The emperor, whose eyes widened for a moment in response to the gentle reaction, nodded
with satisfaction.
“You are like my son, so it’s only natural for me to use my heart.”
At those words, a smirk passed from Fernan’s sullen smile. Soon he let out a meaningful
voice.
“However, I didn’t know that the Viscount Cerevis was a family to Your Majesty.”
Saying so, he glanced at the woman sitting quietly for a moment, and she replied shyly with
a smile of hope.
Fernan, who had a slight frown at the sight, turned his gaze to the emperor again.
It was in an instant that the happy face of the emperor was broken.
“Is it safe to assume that Your Majesty is behind the black market managed by Viscount
Cerevis?”
As expected, the emperor began to falter with his mouth slightly open. He immediately
tried to hide his shaking face.
Fernan, who had been watching the funny thing for a while, continued to speak slowly.
“I’m very curious. How can Viscount Cerevis, who was pushed out of the court, manage
such a large-scale organization? Now that question is resolved.”
Unless there was someone behind him, the Viscount, who had no power, could not so
secretly spread his powers underground.
As long as the emperor supported and tolerated it, anything could happen.
“…I have absolutely no idea what the Grand Duke is talking about.”
“Is that so? If not, I will make this matter public right now and reveal the real culprit behind
it.”
The emperor’s face hardened at that moment. Viscount Cerevis’s daughter was also
trembling anxiously with a frozen face.
“If Your Majesty is still not convinced, I will send someone to the territory immediately and
hand over the list of illegal transactions I found out to the Inspection Department directly.”
The emperor grabbed the armrest of the throne anxiously and nodded his head toward the
servant.
At the unspoken command to take the woman out, the attendant approached the woman
who was sitting like a stone statue.
The woman, who forcibly got up from her seat, looked back and walked out of the audience
room as if being dragged away.
Snap, as the door closed, the emperor cried out with a face that couldn’t contain his anger.
“Grand Duke, how can you be so arrogant? How dare you try to stigmatize me with such
groundless words!”
“stigma…”
“Your Majesty, I am one of those who wish for peace in the Empire.”
The Emperor glared at Fernan with blazing eyes. As if he had found the seeds of rebellion.
Fernan did not avoid that blatant gaze and continued to speak.
“Do you think that the stigma of Your Majesty that I have been silent about will end with
this?”
Until now, the emperor’s misconduct had been unilaterally met without any
countermeasures.
Even if he acted like a solid saint, the emperor was an old man with a very bad background.
Fernan had so many of the emperor’s flaws in his hand.
“So it would be beneficial to each other if you no longer get involved in my marriage.”
“You, you… !”
“Please, I ask for your cooperation so that I can remain loyal to the Empire until the end.”
As the words continued as if he was engraving each word, the emperor began to tremble.
Although Fernan had not been compliant with the imperial family until now, at least he did
not do anything against the emperor’s will.
For this reason, the emperor doubted his true intentions, but he knew implicitly that in the
end everything would go his way.
But now it was different. Fernan looked like he had nowhere to turn. After all, he was a
madman with eyes that looked like he was willing to die for treason. The emperor’s lips
quivered, unable to maintain his expression.
When Fernan began to act like a madman, there was nothing good for the Emperor.
Fernan, who escaped from the Emperor’s reception room, stepped forward without
stopping.
Even after the storm had passed, he was as expressionless as he did at first.
The Imperial Palace was the place where his childhood was contained. He stayed here until
about fifteen.
But he had no reason to get drunk on nostalgia because he had no good memories here.
Ever since his father passed away by accident, Fernan has been a thorn in the eyes of
everyone in this imperial palace.
His uncle (the emperor is Fernan’s uncle), who suddenly ascended the throne after the
death of his eldest brother (Fernan’s father), has been anxious since then to somehow take
down his nephew.
The emperor, who was terrified that his young nephew, who could not even make sense of
it, might lose his place.
Every time there was a big event in the imperial family, Fernan’s position became more and
more ambiguous. Much less the emperor was extremely reluctant to have his nephew in his
entourage.
He (emperor) sometimes put the young man (Fernan) in the middle of a banquet hall,
venting his pressure in a clever way. His mother (Fernan’s mother), who could not see it,
always took her son to a small closet before a banquet.
Was that why? From some point on, it became a natural habit to enter the closet on the day
of the banquet. Around the age of ten, even after his mother died.
That shabby closet, where no one came, was the most comfortable place for him as a child.
Even the day before he was going to war, he went in the closet, predicting the future.
In the distant banquet hall, a banquet was held to pray for the safe return of the Imperial
Army was in full swing. Even though the war that sent them to death was clear, there was
no lack of pretentiousness.
Recalling that day, Fernan’s steps paused for a moment. It was because something, a small
memory stuck in a corner of his mind suddenly hit his brain and popped out.
In that closet that day, he met someone.
It was a child….. His golden eyes gradually narrowed as if measuring his memory. A shabby
closet where no one enters except for him.
The door closed with a sharp broken voice, and the quiet cries filled the room, and the
memories became clearer.
At the sound of crying sadly, Fernan’s agony, which was estimated the day of his death,
shattered in an instant.
So he went to the little girl. She looked only about thirteen years old.
Perhaps her appearance of crying alone overlapped with his childhood. So he reached out
his hand unbecomingly and stayed with her until she stopped crying. In the end, he gave
her his name.
Fernan, who had completely stopped his steps, his eyes began to tremble.
The old memory that he had never recalled in his life, the child to be exact, gradually took
shape in his head.
Two big eyes filled with tears. Wavy light hair. She glanced at him, holding his hand tightly.
“Fernan.”
“… ”
The girl he met again after so many years… definitely kept that promise.
On the day of the wedding, Julia asked if he remembered her, and she was talking about
that day.
Fernan touched his forehead as if he was far away, like someone who didn’t know what
expression to make. Julia had remembered him from the beginning.
Even though it was only a small memory that he had buried somewhere in his head and
never brought it out.
With his forehead distorted, Fernan looked down with an empty gaze. Was the memory so
precious to her, that she couldn’t say anything to the man who only hurt her so much?
From the moment he found out that she was the illegitimate child, he could understand to
some extent the reason for Julia’s fragile nature.
But more than he alone could have guessed, Julia had more wounds.
He also didn’t know that she had to hold her breath and cried because she was born as an
illegitimate child and had to be trapped in the small room without even attending the
banquet.
His distant and deep emotions boiled in his stomach. His heart beat violently.
Fernan narrowed his forehead painfully and grabbed his collar tightly.
Chapter 60
It was a very sunny day. The surface of the lake, which she saw everyday, was more shiny
today.
Her hair fluttered lightly in the cool breeze from the forest.
Crossing the bridge, stopping in a grassy field, she bent her knees slightly.
She reached out and lightly touched the purple lavender flowers, and a fragrance drifted
from the tip of her nose.
Just as she was distracted by the flowers for a while, the sound of footsteps approached
from afar.
The moment Julia felt a presence and turned around, someone hugged her tightly.
“… !”
A body large enough to cover all of her. They were solid arms. Fernan.
Julia couldn’t open her mouth for a while due to the sudden situation. The man holding her
tightly didn’t say anything either.
Julia, who had been in his arms for a while, suddenly came to her senses.
As she raised her hand and gently pushed his chest away, his familiar voice landed in her
ear.
Fernan left for the capital three days ago, so she thought maybe he would be away for a
week. So she couldn’t help but be embarrassed by this man who came back so quickly and
hugged her so suddenly.
As Julia tried to raise her head, Fernan’s firm hand wrapped the back of her head slightly,
and she stopped her movement.
Julia, who had her face still in his arms, closed her eyes as she let it be.
A soft body with the heartbeat transmitted from the body to which they were facing each
other. A shallow but clear breath.
Her light hair shimmered in the sunlight. He lowered his head and buried his face in her
hair. She had the scent of spring.
“Your Highness.”
Julia pushed his body again. Fernan, who had not yet moved, relaxed his arms.
However, the hands wrapped around her back, preventing her from moving further away,
loosen.
Thanks to the gap, Julia raised her head, and there was a look of wonder in her eyes.
As she was wondering, Fernan reached out to her face. Her pale cheeks were completely
wrapped in his large hands.
His eyes contained many words. Awkward words lingered in his mouth, but only a single
word came out.
“… Sorry.”
At the apology that he quietly spat out, Julia had a confused look on her face.
At the same time, a warm and beautiful season, warmer than ever, hung behind her.
He was suddenly blinded. He couldn’t see her properly, and he lowered his gaze again.
He had so many things he wanted to say, but he couldn’t utter a single word. Even though
he couldn’t express all these feelings with just a single word ‘sorry’.
In the end, Fernan swallowed all the words that filled his heart and bowed his head.
Even though she couldn’t make eye contact with him, she didn’t pull her hand away from
his weak embrace.
***
In the afternoon, Melissa, who was making the bed, stared intently at Julia, who was sitting
at her table.
Her book, which she opened, stayed on the same page for an hour.
Melissa bit her lip with her nervous look. Just today, at Julia’s request, Melissa was on her
way to deliver her letter.
“You can’t send letters to the Holy Kingdom. Don’t you know? There’s been a war there
for months.”
That was, the Holy Land that Julia had been living in was at war.
But Julia didn’t seem to know this. Perhaps that was why she wanted to send her letter
there.
While Melissa was busy cleaning the bedding, she agonized over and over whether she
should let Julia know.
No one had informed her of this; perhaps there was a good reason.
While Melissa was anxious, Julia was looking dazed as if she was far away.
In her head, the face of Fernan which she saw during the day continued to be drawn. She
didn’t want to think about it, but she remembered.
It was unfamiliar. It was strange to see him with a face she had never seen before. Julia,
who muttered quietly, turned to the next page.
“And…”
Julia glanced at Melissa, whose words were blurred as if she wanted to say something.
“What’s wrong?”
These days, Julia’s heart was not at ease. But if she found out that there was a war in the
place where she used to live, she might be hurting even more from worrying.
“Your Grace, then have a good night. Call me anytime if you need anything.”
The door closed, and then Julia looked down to focus on her book again. But again, the
words did not catch her eye.
Eventually, she closed her book, got up, and approached the window. The door swung open
and the night breeze blew in.
Julia knew well that this feeling she felt was never right for this situation.
She thought about Fernan’s behavior and somehow her heart seemed to shake.
Then she needed to remind herself again. She knew she didn’t come here because she
wanted to.
That Fernan was preventing her from going back to where she was.
Other than that, of course, he didn’t force her. He was also showing an unusual attitude
unlike before.
She had already crossed a long way to accept him, who said sorry and regret.
“Yes.”
After organizing her confusion, Julia closed the window. Her expression instantly became
determined.
***
While buttoning his cuff, Fernan approached the door and opened it, thinking it was one of
his lieutenants who came to deliver a report.
It was the first time she had come to see him since she came here.
Fernan, whose eye widened for a moment in surprise, looked at Julia in front of him.
“Your Highness.”
Julia, who faced him with an expressionless face, quietly opened her mouth.
“I want to go out.”
It sounded like she was asking for his permission. When he lowered his gaze a little further,
Julia was already dressed in her outdoor clothes.
“Okay.”
It was also the first time that Julia said she wanted to do something, so at this moment, he
felt an indescribable joy.
Fernan looked away from her for a moment, and then he made eye contact with her again.
He wanted to give her everything she wanted, but it was still difficult for him to let her go
alone.
“It is dangerous to be alone. Your identity is not yet known to the Empire.”
“… ”
When Julia lowered her head without answering, Fernan hurriedly added.
With those words, Julia looked up at him with her puzzled face. Thinking of him as an
escort seems a bit strange.
Julia took a step back from the door and turned around.
Seeing her slowly disappearing beyond the hallway, Fernan’s eyes began to shake again.
Chapter 61
The carriage, which had left the villa, rattled down the mountain road.
They were heading to a small town near the border. It was a city where squares and
downtown areas were properly arranged and there were not many people.
Julia carefully looked out of her window through the slightly tilted curtains.
It was to find out exactly where this villa was and what road to take to get out of the
mountain.
While Julia was staring outside like that for a while, Fernan suddenly spoke to her.
At that moment, Julia, who turned her gaze to the other side, nodded his head without
answering.
Then, suddenly, she realized that it was the first time she and Fernan went out like this.
They left a few times together to go to the Imperial Palace, but that was only for official
events.
She had never been alone in her marriage, and it was strange that it had come to this point.
If she was the Julia of the past, she would be beyond happy that she could accompany
Fernan on an outing.
But she just doesn’t like being with him right now.
Julia lowered her gaze and silently waited to arrive in the downtown area.
The first thing that caught her eyes was the river that ran across the street.
A small boat floated on the surface of the water, and people were sitting huddled together.
After watching the boatman rowing for a moment, the carriage stopped nearby.
Fernan got out first and held out his hand to her. Julia hesitated for a moment, but soon
held his hand.
As she stepped on her feet, the bright sunlight poured over her head. Looking around, she
saw a plaza with a relaxed atmosphere.
The reason she wanted to go out was just to find an escape route and to figure out the exact
location of the villa.
She glanced at Fernan, and as soon as their eyes met, she averted her gaze.
At first, she thought it would be better to walk as far as her feet could reach.
So, as she entered the street, various shops were lined up. From clothing stores to jewelers
to stalls selling miscellaneous goods.
As she tried not to be conscious of Fernan who was following her from behind.
After wandering the streets for a long time, her gaze was suddenly fixed somewhere. It was
a jewelry shop.
Among them, what caught Julia’s attention was the blue diamond earrings.
Without realizing it, she stopped and looked at the display case.
She wasn’t very interested in jewelry, but the bright colors automatically caught her eyes.
The gaze did not linger for long. Julia quickly turned and made her way back into the street.
From one moment on, she became unconscious of Fernan who was following her.
He didn’t say anything as if he was really an escort, and he was following Julia at a
reasonable distance.
So she walked the streets with a relaxed mind without much thinking.
After that, time flew by, and as she reached the end of the street, a nearby flower shop
caught her eyes.
When she saw the flowers, she naturally thought of the monastery.
She wondered if they were doing okay. Gabrielle, the kids, and Cedric…
Julia looked at the flowers for a moment and thought of them, but then she turned around.
In the first place, the purpose of going out had already been accomplished, so it was
meaningless to spend more time here.
“Let’s go back.”
Julia, who looked back at Fernan for the first time, spoke to him.
After she saw Fernan nod and was about to turn around again, a man suddenly ran out of
the street next door.
Before the man ran into Julia, Fernan pulled her towards him.
“Hey, be careful… ”
The man, who jumped out suddenly lost his temper, found Fernan standing behind her and
withdrew in surprise.
Looking at Fernan with a ferocious expression like he was about to pull out his sword, the
man apologized incessantly.
Julia, who had been staring blankly at the running man, looked up at Fernan, who wrapped
his arms around her.
As if when her life had come to an end, he looked at her with refined eyes.
“…thank you.”
To return to the square, the two walked slowly across the bridge over the river. A slight
breeze blew through her hair.
Fernan stood still at that moment, without even looking elsewhere, he engraved each figure
of her into his eyes.
As he wandered around this downtown area, of course, Julia was the only place he focused
his attention on.
After a while, Julia looked quietly somewhere over the bridge. Her gaze turned to the
stable.
Unwittingly stopped, she stared intently at the white horse tied to the end of the stable.
Fernan asked quietly. Then, looking back at him, Julia shook her head.
Rather than liking it, its appearance looked mysterious, so it caught her attention right
away. It was the first time she had ever seen such a white and shiny horse.
Julia didn’t know how to ride horses. One of the qualities of a noblewoman, however, was
because she was not given an opportunity to learn.
She went straight to her bedroom, and Julia’s eyes went wide as soon as she stepped inside.
Above and below the table, there were a few boxes that she hadn’t seen before.
Melissa rushed to the news that Julia had returned and bowed her head.
At those words, Julia felt puzzled as she opened one of jewelry boxes.
Julia’s eyes gradually widened. Obviously, it was the earrings she saw in the glass case at
the market.
… To be precise, she didn’t know because she never looked back at Fernan, who was
following her the whole time.
While Julia, who had an unknown expression on her face, closed the jewelry box, someone
knocked on the door. Melissa opened it, and there was a servant in front of the door.
“… ”
Julia took the bouquet from the servant with both hands, and unexpectedly accepted it.
The fragrance of flowers approached the tip of her nose. Julia looked down at the bouquet
blankly.
They were all the things she had her eye on while wandering around downtown.
Fernan followed her silently, keeping his promise not to disturb her.
However, it seemed that he was watching everything that Julia looked at.
At this moment, for the first time, Julia wondered about Fernan’s true intentions.
Of course, he said he didn’t need any profit, but Julia didn’t believe it.
Julia muttered quietly as if she was talking to herself, and Melissa, who looked at her with a
strange expression, answered.
“… ”
She thought it was presumptuous for a maid like her to talk about the owner’s heart.
But, at least in Melissa’s eyes, it was clear that Fernan had come to love Julia.
Fernan has been anxious about Julia, who was colder, and she was the only one who filled
his gaze and nerves.
Julia muttered. Even so, she had never wanted anything like this.
Julia felt confused and she looked at the flower bouquet again. The fresh scent of the
beautiful flowers gently shook her heart.
After confirming that both the children and Gabrielle were unharmed, he was able to relax.
They were living comfortably. The mansion was spacious, and there were helpers.
He thought they would have simply found a place to live, but the Grand Duke seemed to be
more attentive to their convenience than expected.
“Cedric. Is it true that the person who helped us was Julia’s husband… ?”
Gabrielle whispered in a low voice. She was very quick-witted as she got older.
“Yes.”
“Since he’s treating us so generously, you must believe that he’s also taking good care of
Julia.”
“… “
If her mind was uncomfortable, her body would also be uncomfortable. So, he hoped she
was at ease there.
‘… It might be difficult.’
There was nothing Cedric could do for now. He just has to wait for Julia to contact him first.
At this time, Cedric was so miserable because he felt incompetent.
At the same time, He felt a sense of shame that filled a part of his heart.
Feelings that should have been enough just to worry about Julia were mixed with
something that was not at all pleasant.
He was jealous lest she be shaken by the Grand Duke. He was afraid and anxious that she
would never come back.
Of course, Julia could not have wanted to stay with the Grand Duke now.
It must be so, but he couldn’t figure out why he had such a vague feeling.
Cedric, who came out of the mansion, briefly captured the world in spring.
He missed the days walking with Julia. The times when they laughed and talked about little
things in the evening breeze at the monastery.
His heart throbbed greatly. Cedric took a deep breath and lowered his gaze.
***
She made up her mind to leave this place somehow, but her firmness kept crumbling down
for some reason.
Julia, who was walking on the plain, looked at the distant forest.
If running for a long time along that forest, she would see a steep mountain foot. If she went
down there, she would find a road leading to the village.
The way to escape has already been memorized. If she went down the mountain entrance
with the excuse of going out, maybe she could run away.
However….
When Julia lowered her gaze with a somewhat complicated face, she suddenly felt a strange
presence.
“… ?”
Julia, who flinched at the rustling sound, looked back.
Her eyes gradually grew bigger. Because a white horse was walking slowly towards her.
“… Ah.”
At this moment, there was a scene that passed Julia’s head. A few days ago, she was a white
horse downtown.
He spoke calmly.
Julia turned her gaze to the white horse again with a bewildered expression.
“Is that the horse I saw in the downtown area that day?”
As she murmured in the distance, Fernan, who came a little closer to her, swept the horse.
“At that time, the white horse was not of good breed, so I got it from another place.”
Then, when she looked closely at the horse, the color of its eyes was indeed different.
Contrary to that horse back then, this white horse had pale green eyes.
The horse with its soft, white hair made a pleasant rustling sound.
Julia, who was briefly distracted by the mysterious figure, soon came to her senses and
looked at Fernan.
Then she quietly turned her gaze away from the horse.
Julia has already received a lot from him. Excessive luxury that she didn’t even want.
It wouldn’t be hers if she left anyway. Moreover, she didn’t want to receive anything from
him anymore.
Just as she was about to turn around like that, a low voice came from Fernan again.
“… ”
Julia, who stopped his feet, looked back at him. Fernan was approaching with the reins of
the white horse.
“If you don’t use it, this horse will be useless and will be kept in the stable.”
Julia looked up at him. She couldn’t tell if he was threatening her or just saying it.
Meanwhile, the white horse, who came close to her, looked at her clearly.
Julia’s shoulders flinched and she closed his eyes slowly, then she reached out without
realizing it.
Carefully sweeping the white hair, the horse neighed again. It was as if it was saying that it
felt good.
“That…”
Julia hesitated and blurred the end of her words. Fernan, who took one step closer to her,
looked down at her as if inviting her again.
When she bit her lip as if she was agonizing without letting go of her hand from the horse,
Fernan leaned down.
She looked at his approaching face, and before she could panic, her body suddenly lifted up.
As Julia looked down at him from afar, she already sat on the saddle in an instant.
Fernan took her arm and helped her straighten her tilted posture. Julia suddenly grabbed
the reins in her hands.
It was her first time riding the horse alone. She was just frozen, holding the reins tightly.
Fernan, who was looking at her frightened figure, climbed on the back lightly.
Julia, who flinched her hand for no reason, hesitated and kicked her foot gently as he said.
Julia straightened her bent posture and looked in front of her. Fernan’s large body
supporting her back gave her more stability.
Perhaps because of her increased visibility, the familiar scenery looked different.
Her tension was gradually released from her stiffened body in the open air.
“… ”
Unsurprisingly, Julia thought that the voice coming from behind her was unfamiliar.
Biting her lip, Julia looked down at Fernan’s large hand that completely wrapped around
hers.
His hands were long and gracefully outstretched, seemingly rough with calluses. It was the
first time she had looked so closely.
As she looked at his hand for a while, she remembered her old memories a long time ago.
The day she and him first met. She remembered holding his hand for a long time.
“Your Highness.”
At her little call, Fernan lowered his head slightly towards her.
“Do you remember? In the past, Your Highness held my hand like this…”
But in the end, her blurred speech did not continue any longer. It was because when she
opened her mouth, I thought it was pointless to ask.
There was no need for her to recall the memory of that day, and it was far less necessary
for her to mention the day to Fernan.
As she closed her mouth as she thought so, Fernan wrapped her hands more tightly.
“I remember. Everything.”
“… ”
Julia blinked her eyes with her slightly startled face. Meanwhile, Fernan’s voice continued.
At the sound of his low voice whispering into her ear, Julia’s shoulders flinched slightly.
So, there were times when she wasn’t sure if the boy she met was really Fernan.
Because when they reunited, he was not the man she had imagined and painted, but a
heartless person with a layer of ice around him.
For sure now, it was this man she met at that time.
She had no intention of attaching any meaning to the events of now and then. But she felt a
little strange.
While Julia bowed her head lower, Fernan didn’t speak any more, but only held her hands
tightly.
And Julia did not shook him off like usual. Instead, she whispered in a quiet voice.
She didn’t want to be engulfed in this feeling that started tickling her heart. If she ran a
little faster, perhaps she would be able to forget this feeling.
“Okay.”
Fernan swung the reins lightly. The horse that changed direction soon began to speed up.
Julia felt the wind blowing on her face while his arms supported her body stably.
The wind was cool, and the body temperature of the man behind her was warm.
They ran for a long time like that. However, the trembling feeling never seemed to subside.
Chapter 63
The next day, Julia asked Melissa to run an errand. She was going to send her letter once
again.
This time, it was not a letter to the Holy Land, but to the Temple of Ilion, where Matheus
was located.
Julia knew that she was being swayed by Fernan. Seeing Fernan’s changed appearance,
without realizing it, she was getting used to it.
So now she was really going to make a plan to get out of here.
Originally, she was going to try to escape by herself somehow by using her remaining
power.
However, she instinctively felt that her body would not be able to withstand it if she used
more of her power.
Julia leaned against the window sill and looked at the now familiar scenery.
Fernan was different from before. It was also true that his warmth shook her heart easily.
She couldn’t rely on such things and set foot into the hellish past again.
In order to erase the face that had filled up in her mind, Julia stared at the distant plain
again.
That evening, Melissa, who had sent the letter, arrived at the villa.
Melissa told her that she sent the letter safely to the temple.
Melissa, who replied in a good manner, avoided her gaze for some reason. She looked a bit
worried.
“What happened?”
When Julia tilted her head and asked, Melissa, startled, hurriedly shook her head.
However, seeing Julia worrying about her, her face seemed to have become more and more
uncomfortable.
In fact, when she went to send the letter this time, Melissa had come to ask the postman
again about what happened to the Holy Land.
And of course, the reply came that the place was still in full swing with the demons.
Melissa was belatedly worried that something would happen to Julia if she left without
knowing the truth. Besides, she felt as if she was fooling Julia, so she didn’t feel comfortable
all this time.
Melissa also felt that she could not continue to deceive Julia on her own will. Julia had a
right to know, good or bad.
“… Last time, I actually couldn’t send the letter to the Holy Land.”
“…Why?”
Melissa bit her lip while looking at Julia who asked her blankly and continued her words.
“I heard from the postman that there’s a war that started last winter. The demons have
invaded….”
Melissa, who answered carefully, looked at her complexion, and Julia stiffened for a
moment, as if she had received a lot of shock.
“Last winter… … ”
Julia, who muttered in a daze, touched her lips. If it was last winter, it intertwined with the
time she came here. At this moment, the things that were on her mind in the past began to
come to mind one by one.
Her memory of the process that led her here in the first place has completely disappeared.
Even Fernan’s words, which he said she could go anywhere but the Holy Land.
Julia, who had not spoken for a long time while holding her lips, twitched her brows.
She might remember something more, but she couldn’t keep up with her thoughts as her
head was pounding.
However, Julia did not answer, she only looked into the air blankly.
At this moment, Julia could only be sure of one thing. The reason she came here must have
something to do with the war.
After removing her hand from her lips, Julia moved her feet. The place she headed was
Fernan’s office.
Her mind was jumbled all the way down the stairs.
‘Why on earth did he hide from me the fact that the Holy Land was at war? And how did I lose
my memory?’
Julia knocked on the office door with her trembling hand. But no words came from the
inside.
Turning away, Julia wandered around the villa looking for Fernan.
With her face turned white, Julia, who was in front of Fernan’s door, raised her hand.
The moment she was about to knock, the door suddenly opened from inside.
“… Julia?”
He looked at her Julia with a slightly surprised face. He never thought she would be
standing in front of him like this.
At his gaze as if to ask her to come inside, Julia slowly took a step forward.
Click, as the door closed, a familiar scent permeated. It was the smell of winter.
The cool, cold scent that she always felt when she was next to Fernan…
Fernan, who sat across from her, stared at her silently. As if to gauge what she was saying,
there was a slight twitch in his golden eyes.
“… ”
At that moment, Fernan’s gaze began to waver slightly. After that, he asked quietly, who
had not said anything for a long time.
“…no.”
Julia still had no memory of it. Because every time she vaguely thought of something, her
head felt like it was going to crack.
“… ”
Fernan averted his gaze slightly as if struggling with Julia staring straight at him.
In the meantime, he didn’t explain anything to Julia because he did not want to forcibly
revive her memory.
“… why?”
Fernan often recalled the sight of Julia crying with her ears covered. She also screamed and
trembled all night long.
He didn’t know which truth would be more painful for her, but he thought it would be
better to let Julia think that she was forced by him to come here.
Now that he was not letting her go anywhere like this, it wasn’t really false to let her think
like that.
Looking at the silent Fernan, Julia immediately opened her lips and asked another question.
“What about the others? The people in the monastery … ”
Her heart, which had been trying so hard to calm down, began to pound again.
Looking at Julia biting her lip anxiously, Fernan gave her an answer belatedly.
The people who had been living with her for a year peacefully but she was completely
clueless all this time.
While enjoying the things that Fernan gave her here, as if it was unavoidable.
Looking at Julia, unable to say anything due to shock, Fernan spoke up.
“At least all the children and the lady are safe.”
A light gradually began to permeate her eyes, which were wet by the news.
Fernan looked at her wet eyelashes. As soon as a teardrop fell, he couldn’t hold back and
reached out.
“… don’t cry.”
His hard fingers gently wiped the corners of her eyes. At some point, it became difficult for
him to see Julia cry. Perhaps it was because he remembered the woman who cried because
of him a long time ago.
So innocent words came out without him knowing. The truth was he actually didn’t want
Julia to meet them.
He was afraid that Julia would meet them and leave him again, but now he was more afraid
of her crying than that.
Chapter 64
Gabrielle and the children were staying in Richel, one of Fernan’s estates.
In the wagon going there, Julia felt nervous and clasped her hands together.
‘Is everyone staying healthy without any injuries? Maybe the children suffered from the
aftermath of the war…’
The carriage, which had been running for a long time, soon passed the checkpoint.
After entering the outskirts of the village, moving a little further, the entrance to the
mansion began to be seen from afar. Fernan, who got off first, reached out to her.
When she took his hand and stepped outside, a man rushed to them and bowed his head,
seemingly the caretaker of the place.
Even before entering the mansion following the caretaker’s guidance, someone from the
inside popped out.
“Julia!”
Excited, Julia bent her knees and made eye level with her children.
“Guys…… ”
For some reason, she felt like she was about to cry, so Julia, who was trying her best to hold
back the tears, hugged her children tightly.
The faces of the children, who looked up at her with whimper, were fortunately very
healthy.
Julia sighed in relief and stroked the hair of the child standing next to her.
In the midst of unraveling the affair with the children, Gabrielle, who ran out late, said
excitedly.
“Oh, I heard that you were coming, but I didn’t expect to be this soon!”
“Gabrielle.”
Julia stood up and took Gabrielle’s hand as she approached. Gabrielle’s eyes were teary as if
she was worried a lot.
Gabrielle looked over her body urgently and asked. Julia nodded.
Gabrielle, who wiped the tears with her wrinkled hands, looked behind Julia.
“By the way, the one who came with you a while ago….”
With those words, Julia looked behind her and her eyes widened.
‘… Did he leave?’
Soon after turning her head again, she entered the mansion after a long reunion greeting.
The mansion was bigger than she expected and the inside was very neat, Julia couldn’t help
but be a little surprised.
Gabrielle, who was following Julia’s gaze looking around inside, hurriedly added her words.
“The gentleman who came with you was the one who helped us, right?”
“… Yes, that’s right.”
Julia answered with a complicated face as she finished climbing the stairs.
Gabrielle nodded her head slightly as she understood what Julia was asking.
Gabrielle sighed in silence. Wrinkles were growing on her forehead, perhaps because she
had a hard time.
“It turns out that not only our monastery, but the entire village suffered a lot of damage. If it
weren’t for the knights who saved us…”
Julia, who had been quietly listening to her words, lowered her gaze slightly.
The knights Gabrielle was talking about were probably referring to Fernan’s knights.
As Gabrielle asked carefully, Julia rubbed her lips with a complicated face.
“Actually, I can’t remember at all what happened after I left the monastery… .”
Gabrielle, who patted the back of her hand with pity, took another deep breath and sighed.
“Yeah, it’s a disaster that it would be better to forget about it. How did such a thing happen
to a country blessed by God…?”
Gabrielle , who shook her head as if to shake off the misery, spoke again.
“Oh, I should tell Cedric about you too. He must be very worried right now.”
“Yes, the priests were fortunately protected by the paladins in the central temple.”
At that moment, Julia, who was relieved, swept her chest.
Gabrielle told Julia one by one how she had been doing here.
She said that food, clothing, and food were provided abundantly, and members of the clinic
visited regularly to take care of the children and Gabrielle’s health.
In particular, the children played with excitement every day, because it was their first time
staying at such a large mansion.
Julia, who silently listened to Gabrielle, showed a subtle expression as if she did not know
what expression to make.
“Well, would you like to thank him? He’s my savior, but I haven’t had a chance to see him.”
Julia meekly nodded. Gabrielle said she had to go check on the children and get up first.
Julia, who had been contemplating after Gabrielle was gone, belatedly stepped out of the
parlor.
Julia carefully asked the servant who was standing at the door. And the servant answered
in a polite manner.
“His Highness went to the study on the third floor. I will guide you.”
Her mind was in disarray the whole time she climbed the stairs. Because she didn’t know
that Fernan cared for them this much.
Since he saved Gabrielle and the children, he must have also saved her and brought her to
the villa.
All this time, she thought she was forced to go back by him and acted harshly, but when he
saw her like that, why didn’t he say a word…
“This is the library.”
In the meantime, the servant who guided Julia to the study bowed and turned around.
Standing in front of the door, Julia hesitated for a moment, then turned the doorknob.
As she entered, she saw the interior full of bookshelves. Julia looked around and found
Fernan standing in front of the window and looking outside.
“Your Highness.”
With his back to the sunlight, he looked at Julia with a gentle gaze.
“I….”
Julia, who opened her mouth, could not easily connect the words.
She should say thank you, but for some reason it was hard to look at him.
With a soft voice, he reached out and caressed Julia’s eyelids as she looked down. As if
wiping away the tears like the last time.
As soon as he touched her, Julia, who raised her head, made eye contact with him.
For the first time, Julia, who always showed a lot of thorns when looking at him, had her
eyes shining like before.
“… thank you.”
Fernan’s lips drew a faint arc at the brief gratitude she barely uttered.
***
After that, Julia stayed in the mansion for three more days.
She spent a lot of time playing with the kids, and chatted a lot over refreshments with
Gabrielle.
It was a peaceful time, as if she had returned to her time at the monastery.
On the last day, Gabrielle, who was seeing her off, quietly asked.
Gabrielle said she intended to leave this place as soon as she found a different place to live,
saying she couldn’t be indebted too long without paying.
Julia answered in her calm voice. The idea of leaving someday remained unchanged.
“Yes I will… ”
With a small smile and a nod, Julia soothed the sniffling children.
After she hugged each one of them and promised to come back soon, Julia turned around.
Gabrielle hugged Julia tightly as if she couldn’t help it. And Julia hugged her back for a long
time.
Chapter 65
So after returning to the villa, Julia quietly reviewed her future plans. Originally, she had
planned to return to the Holy Land, but it was still at war with demons there.
At the back of the villa, where the stable was, Julia looked at the white horse and thought.
As she stared at the horse endlessly with complicated eyes, the horse held out its snout, as
if it understood her. Finally, Julia slowly reached out.
She patted the white hair, and the horse looked pleasantly pleased.
The big horse, which seemed to be three times her size, behaved as if it were a small dog.
Julia suddenly realized that she hadn’t let the horse loose in the stable since the last time
she rode with Fernan.
Distressed, she undid the ring on the small wooden door and opened it. As if the horse had
been waiting, it walked out with ease.
With the reins in her hands, Julia walked the horse toward the plains.
She thought that the horse would be happier in the open plains than confined in a stable.
Julia thought absentmindedly as she looked at the horse that was standing still and grazing.
She didn’t know if it was right to give the horse a name… but she thought it would be nice if
it had a name.
“Laura.”
Julia mumbled, and before she knew it, a long shadow formed behind her.
How long has he been watching her? Fernan approached with a calm manner.
With a serious look on her face, she quickly turned her gaze to the horse.
But he didn’t even show a hint of a smile, whether he really thought the name was good.
“You didn’t look for it for a while, so I thought you didn’t like it.”
In fact, she liked this white horse from the beginning. It was a a mysterious and gentle
horse.
She just didn’t look for it because she didn’t want anything from Fernan.
It was Fernan who conclusively helped her and provided her with food, clothing and
shelter when she had nowhere else to go.
So she was too ashamed to reject his things now that she didn’t want it.
“Yes.”
Julia’s eyes fluttered. Yeah, he definitely said he’d teach her horseback riding.
Actually, she wasn’t entirely without a desire to learn. When she was very young, she had
seen her half brother, whose face was now a blur, learning to ride.
It brought back memories of her childhood, when she gazed at him through the window
and envied him inwardly.
Julia bit her lip as she struggled. Eventually, she gave a positive answer.
Since that day, Julia has learned to horseback riding from him almost every day.
She was not accustomed to using her body, so it was difficult for her to improve her skills.
He supported Julia’s body as soon as she felt fear. When she began to concentrate, he
waited for her silently.
In the meantime, before long, Julia began to ride the horse slowly.
“Oh, …….”
Julia, who had stopped as she’d been taught, hesitantly grabbed the reins.
She was very skilled at straddling a horse and driving it slowly, but she was always blocked
by being dismounted. As Julia blinked, staring down the blur, Fernan approached her.
His large hands wrapped around her waist as he eased her off the horse.
“Thank you.”
Spending time with him like this has become a part of her daily life.
And before she knew it, Julia began to think that this time was peaceful and tranquil.
The original plan to get away from here was still in the back of her mind, but Julia couldn’t
quite get it out of her mind anymore.
Fernan had been teaching her to ride all morning, and she returned to the villa around
afternoon.
As she entered the bedroom, Melissa held out a letter as if she had been waiting for her
return.
“Do you know? Your complexion has been better than before.”
Julia’s face has been sporting a brighter complexion lately. It was different from the first
time when she was anxious as if she was going to run away somewhere right away.
“Yes, you’ve had very little fever lately and you’ve been sleeping very well.”
True to Melissa’s words, she hadn’t been feeling sick lately, though she didn’t know why.
Julia, who closed her lips tightly with a trembling heart, soon opened the envelope.
While she was reading the letter, Melissa placed the flowers in a vase on the table.
Julia read the letter smoothly, and stopped her gaze at the last line of the postscript.
[If you have any trouble, contact the temple. Cedric is waiting to hear from you.]
Julia looked into the void for a moment with a serious look on her face.
At that time, she wrote in the letter that she would contact them again in the near future.
She had hoped to get their help on her way to the Holy Land after she had taken the
opportunity to flee.
But now her plans had gone awry and she couldn’t continue any further.
At that moment, Melissa, who was standing by the window, looked back at Julia with an
excited expression.
Melissa pointed through the window. Julia got up from her seat and walked up to her.
Julia murmured absentmindedly. She didn’t think that time had passed so quickly.
The first time she came here was in winter, then spring passed, and now summer is here.
Julia tried to guess how long she would be able to stay here, a definite answer still eluded
her.
****
So while facing the end of spring, there was much happening in the Empire. First, there was
a conflict with the Geranian Kingdom, with whom they had an alliance agreement.
This was due to the fact that the distribution of responsibility between the two countries
was not smooth in dealing with the demons who periodically invaded the frontier.
The confrontation between the two countries was antagonistic due to the fact that armed
force was once used in that process. The other reason was that there was a debate about
national marriage in order to overhaul the agreement for the reasons mentioned above.
National marriage was usually done on the basis of each country’s royal family or founding
merit. Fernan was also at the center of the discussion. He was also superficially unmarried
because the Grand Duchess was absent.
“Your Highness, can you bring Grand Duchess to the castle now?”
Lloyd cautiously asked Fernan, who was reading the letter. Lloyd was likewise in favor of
the national marriage, but as of now there was no chance that Fernan would accept it at all.
He was the one who acted like a lunatic and finally brought Julia here, saying he was
looking for his wife who had run away from him.
And before they knew it, three months had passed since Julia had stayed here.
So now it was best to inform people of Julia’s return and show them that the Grand Duchess
was alive and well.
“Only the presence of Grand Duchess would give you a good reason to refuse the national
marriage.”
In fact, this national marriage was not a very bad option for Fernan.
The Grand Duchy was the northern territory of the Empire. And the Kingdom of Geranian,
which bordered the western part of the Empire.
If he allied with Geranian kingdom, he could easily check on the capital, the heart of the
Empire. The emperor would no longer be able to do anything about Fernan.
Therefore, Fernan’s aides were actively in favor of this national marriage. As a result, his
desk is now full of letters from them.
Fernan was in the middle of reading each letter in turn when he put it down. He didn’t need
to read more because they all contained the same information.
“It’s been a long time… I’m sure Grand Duchess will accept Your Highness now.”
Julia certainly didn’t reject him like the first time. She still didn’t smile at him as usual, but it
was still different from when she was just gloomy.
But Fernan didn’t think Julia accepted him that much. There was still a distance between
them.
There was no way that solid gap could be crossed no matter how close he got to her. She
would feel forced to do her duty and try to run away again.
Fernan wasn’t going to bring Julia into his political life just because he needed a reason for
his refusal. Right now, he was just content to have her in his sight.
Chapter 66
Lloyd, who was paying close attention to Fernan’s calm expression, continued with a sigh.
“… Yes, even if you say you will refuse national marriage. Do you intend to keep the
position of Grand Duchess empty? You must also consider the successor issue, Your
Highness.”
Of course, Fernan was still young and strong. However, considering his status as a Grand
Duke, it was not the time to be complacent. Fernan loosened the collar of his shirt without
answering.
When an unavoidable situation came, it was not bad to bring one of the two from the
outlying side. In the first place, he didn’t put much importance on succession. Lloyd, who
was rather impatient as he looked at the peaceful Fernan, spoke again.
“At least let the capital know the Grand Duchess is alive…”
“Stop.”
At that moment, Lloyd shut his mouth, but the sadness he couldn’t swallow was reflected
on his face.
‘Is this how it is …..Is he really thinking about just hanging around by Grand Duchess’ side
without any promises?’
Lloyd let out a long, silent sigh with a face half worried and half resigned.
***
At the same time, the Emperor’s anger shook the Imperial Palace.
The Emperor clicked his tongue at the knight, who couldn’t find where Fernan was living
for months.
Unusually, the emperor, who took off his benevolent face, had a face full of anxiety. He had
to plant a spy to check Fernan’s castle, because he couldn’t figure out where Fernan was
staying.
Currently, the Empire was in a state of exchange with the Geranian Kingdom about national
marriage.
And the national marriage opponent they wanted the most was Fernan.
From the Emperor’s point of view, there was nothing more embarrassing than Fernan’s
joining hands with them.
Still, Fernan’s prestige was going to break through the sky, but it was self-evident that if he
made a connection with another country, a huge blow would come to the imperial forces.
“Find him. Is the Grand Duke not in contact with Geranian kingdom, or are there any other
clues from his army? You must go through every detail.”
The emperor with his fiery anger ordered the servant to bring water.
Since Fernan visited the Imperial Palace a few months ago, the Emperor has been feeling
more anxious than before.
No, to be precise, the first period when the emperor’s unrest started was after Fernan came
back alive from the war.
If he (emperor) had known that Fernan would come back and develop his own power from
the war which he (emperor) sent him to die, he (emperor) would have dried up the seeds
before that.
“Tsk!”
While the emperor wrinkled his brows in annoyance, the servant knocked on the office
door.
The Emperor looked at the door, narrowing his eyes. Marquis Elody. It was a name he
hadn’t heard in a long time.
It was because it had been half a year since he threw the Marquis away.
He was displeased with the rudeness that came even when he had not been summoned, but
the emperor beckoned to let him in first.
When the door opened, the Marquis jumped in and greeted him with courtesy.
“Yes, Marquis Elody. Long time no see. How did you come here without communication?”
“Haha, as a loyal subject of Your Majesty, isn’t it natural for me to visit you often?”
The Marquis had a very casual attitude for a subject that had been abandoned and
neglected. The emperor nodded, wondering if his attitude wasn’t too bad.
The Marquis glanced at the Emperor’s complexion and hurriedly spoke his words.
“Actually, I heard that Your Majesty is monitoring the movements of the Grand Duke these
days.”
The Marquis, who had been drunk for a while due to the shock of being abandoned by the
emperor, only recently came to his senses and began to look for new opportunities.
Since he was an expert in collecting information, the emperor’s actions were also quickly
noticed.
“Your Majesty, please entrust me with this task. The Grand Duke was once my son-in-law. I
had already been in and out of his house many times, so I’m used to it now.”
The emperor looked at the marquis as if he was not at all certain. Now, to talk about his
son-in-law, it was because more than a year had passed since the Grand Duchess
disappeared.
From the emperor’s point of view, the Marquis Elody was a handicapped hand.
Even skilled knights struggle to find the Grand Duke’s whereabouts, so what can the
marquis do?
“I will find out everything about the Grand Duke and give you a plan to bring him down.”
In the eyes of the Marquis, greed, which had been hidden for a while, was boiling again.
After Julia disappeared, everything went awry, but he couldn’t just lose everything like this.
So, the Marquis was determined not to shy away from rolling the mud and doing all sorts of
dirty things. He has been such a human ever since.
The emperor looked carefully at the marquis, then touched his chin.
Certainly, the Marquis will not hesitate to do anything to return to his position.
For now, the more power he (emperor) had to destroy Fernan, the better.
***
From the time spring ended and summer began to approach, Fernan helped Julia to freely
enter and exit Richel’s estate.
Richel was his estate anyway, and it was a decision made under the judgment that there
would be no danger if only escorting the way to and from it.
The children, who grew up day by day, overflowed with energy even after playing all day.
So on the last day in the carriage returning to the villa, Julia fell asleep right away as soon as
she put her head on the window.
How much time had passed in that state? It was around the time when Julia woke up while
being held in someone’s arms up the stairs.
Julia, who had her head buried in his broad shoulders, raised her gaze slightly. A sharp
jawline that appeared above the thick neckline. Familiar and elegant features.
Fernan, who was looking straight ahead, was silently climbing the stairs. Julia was quietly
hugging him without fussing.
Perhaps it was because she got used to holding him whenever she learned how to
horseback riding, his arms were familiar to her.
Soon they arrived in the bedroom. The door opened and he gently laid her down on her
bed. In the meantime, Julia closed her eyes again and buried her face in the soft bedding.
She was so tired that she thought she would go back to sleep soon.
Fernan’s shadow, which had fallen on the bed, did not disappear for a long time after that.
With only one layer of mental cord remaining, Julia slowly opened her eyes.
And she met those soft golden eyes that looked down at her.
She still wasn’t used to those eyes. A warm and calm gaze, as if looking at something
precious.
“…Your Highness.”
Julia looked at him like that for a moment, Fernan’s cold face suddenly overlapped.
Fernan’s hand trembled. He remained silent for such a long time, his eyelids half lowered
and he fell into a brief thought.
The cold treatment and contempt for Julia, of course, remained as regrets for him.
But as he heard it from her lips, a feeling more than regret came to him.
He took his anger out on her, who did not know anything.
Because she was the daughter of the Marquis, because the emperor was behind her.
But even in the midst of a time when he acted so meanly, he implicitly knew that in fact
Julia’s eyes were sincere towards him.
When her clear and transparent eyes touched him, his heart unexpectedly shook.
So he had to push further. However, no matter how much he pushed and pushed, Julia
continued to squeeze closer to him.
It was the first time he had ever felt swayed by someone helplessly.
So he kept hurting Julia, and eventually made her run away because she couldn’t stand it
any longer.
Seeing him muttering in a hoarse voice, Julia slowly lowered her eyelids. At this moment,
for the first time, she had that thought. Maybe he had other reasons.
Julia didn’t know much about Fernan during that time either.
So, maybe, he had some circumstances that she didn’t know about.
“Of course…..”
Julia opened her mouth, but at the same time, her stamina was completely exhausted and
she fell asleep.
Standing alone in the quiet bedroom, Fernan bent one knee to meet her eye level. Unlike
Julia, who was sleeping peacefully, deep thoughts lingered on his face for a long time.
Chapter 67
Shortly thereafter, the summer sun came up.
In the morning, the attending physician, Lockman, came for a routine check-up.
When Julia nodded her head as a sign of permission, Melissa rushed to open the door.
Julia nodded and held out her hand in a familiar way. Soon, Lockman began to check her
pulse.
Lockman had been her doctor since she was at the Grand Duke’s castle.
Perhaps even before she married Fernan, Lockman had been with him.
“Your pulse is normal. The temperature is also appropriate. Your physical strength seems
to have improved more than before.”
Lockman closed his wrinkled eyes and smiled. After a moment’s hesitation, Julia quietly
opened her mouth.
Lockman’s eyes widened slightly at an unexpected question. It was because Julia had never
asked him anything.
“It has been over twenty years. I’ve been serving His Highness since he was staying in the
Imperial Palace.”
“I see … ”
In fact, she wanted to know about Fernan’s past some time ago.
Because she wondered if there was another reason he hated her, unknown to her.
All she knew was that Fernan was the emperor’s nephew.
Even at a young age, he was an excellent knight who managed the battlefield and made a
big contribution.
Lockman was silent for a moment, as if contemplating how far he could talk.
“It’s hard to say that I know everything, but His Highness….He has lived a lonely life.”
The young Fernan, whom Lockman first saw twenty years ago, was a child who could not
cry even if he was hurt and sick.
He was not pessimistic or sad, he just had a calm face. Lockman continued quietly, erasing
the flashbacks.
“He’s not just as impeccable and strong as the world sees him.”
“… ”
Up until now, Julia had thought that Fernan was a man with nothing to fear. He was so
noble, it made her look so humble… he was such a man.
Lockman slowly rose from his seat, staring at her in contemplation for a moment.
“Then, Your Grace. I’ll leave now. If you have any problems with your body, please call me
anytime.”
Julia, who was left alone, was immersed in thought for a long time.
***
Obviously, Lockman said her condition had improved the previous morning. In fact, her
body was fine for a while.
However…she felt strange now. Julia gently touched her forehead with a cold sweat.
After taking a deep breath for a while, Julia got out of bed. She felt stuffy and wanted to get
some cold air, even for a moment.
After coming out of the bedroom, she walked along the hallway.
When she passed through the middle door leading to the annex, a small terrace appeared.
As she entered the arched entrance without a separate door, she saw an open backyard.
Julia sat on the bench there and cooled her body for a while.
As she slowly closed her eyes, she could hear someone talking below her.
“It looks like he sent another person to the border. Not long ago, the defense knights caught
those who looked like the emperor’s henchmen… ”
Since the terrace was quite high, their voices could be heard sporadically. But it wasn’t to
the point where she couldn’t understand.
Julia fully opened her eyes. The people who were talking seemed to be Fernan’s lieutenants.
Perhaps they did not feel her presence, the sound of their conversation continued.
“Besides, it seems that Marquis Elody is again serving as the Emperor’s confidant….”
At the words of her father that came out of their mouths, Julia’s eyes widened.
“Not long ago, he sent someone to the castle to find out His Highness’ whereabouts.”
“It’s not surprising. Just because the Grand Duchess is gone, doesn’t mean the Marquis will
stay quiet.”
Emperor. Marquis Elody. Julia didn’t know the circumstances before and after, but she
could tell that the nuance of the words was negative.
In an instant, her hazy mind was awakened. Julia listened a little more carefully to their
conversation.
“It’s obvious. The Emperor must have sent surveillance to prevent the national marriage of
His Highness.”
They chatted for a while longer and then entered the doorway.
Until the sound of their conversation completely disappeared, Julia sat still, not even
breathing.
‘… National marriage.’
She didn’t know exactly what was going on, but she could predict to some extent.
A national marriage came to Fernan, and to prevent it… It was said that the emperor sent
the Marquis to spy on Fernan.
In fact, it was not surprising that Fernan was offered a national marriage.
It was known throughout the empire that the Grand Duchess was missing, so it was only
natural for Fernan to welcome a new wife…
Julia bit her lips involuntarily, and then she fell into deep thoughts again.
Even if so, why is the emperor trying to stop Fernan’s national marriage?
Julia realized once again that there was a story about Fernan that she didn’t know.
According to his lieutenants, the emperor seemed hostile to Fernan. Why? He’s the
Emperor’s only nephew…
Julia, who was worried with a serious face, narrowed her eyebrows.
“…Ah.”
Julia, who curled up and endured the pain, held onto the armrest of the bench tightly. The
body, which was hot with heat, soon cooled down.
Her body began to tremble, and after a while, Julia, who barely managed to straighten her
body, stood up calmly. Her mind was chaotic as many thoughts were pouring out at once.
Julia did nothing, she was just looking down at the table for hours.
Melissa, who didn’t know anything, asked carefully, but Julia didn’t hear anything.
She thought and pondered for a long time, but there was a limit to what she could infer.
The relationship between the Emperor and Fernan was not good. Even the fact that her
father was caught in the middle.
If she thought about it… It was something she could easily notice.
The Marquis used to force her to have Fernan’s child, to the point of obsessiveness. Only
then could this marriage be strong.
In the past, she was in such a hurry to control his heart that she had never thought deeply
about his circumstances.
Julia’s hand on the table stiffened. The sudden sense of reality was rushing through her
head.
Just because she knew the reason didn’t mean she could understand Fernan’s harsh
behavior towards her.
However… She knew that because of her disappearance, her father was even more hostile
to Fernan.
And at this moment, she had no choice but to question it. Still, why was Fernan looking for
her? Why did he want her to stay with him now?
‘Even so…’
Fernan didn’t even tell her to return to the position of Grand Duchess.
Alright, so….
Without realizing it, Julia clenched her hands tightly, then slowly released it.
So, in this situation, she was determined what she could do.
Leaving here as originally planned. That was the only answer to this situation.
Chapter 68
The emperor’s actions were in Fernan’s hands from the beginning.
A border zone knight from the northern part of the Grand Duchy came and reported.
Fernan, who was scanning the border defense, put down the documents.
Then, he grabbed his sword across the bookshelf and left the barracks.
The outskirts of the wilderness where the sunset light sets. Behind the barracks where the
garrison was located, a dozen knights were kneeling bound.
As Fernan passed, he casually ordered while looking at the faces of the knights.
They were all just dwarfs. If held on to them, they wouldn’t be of any use.
“Ah!”
Those who were cut by the sharp blade fell one by one with a flurry.
Eventually, the sword was raised towards the trembling knight at the very end.
At that moment, Fernan raised his hand and stopped the execution.
“Gasp.”
Fernan leaned towards the knight who was shaking like an aspen and met his eyes.
“Go and tell your master. I’m going to refuse the national marriage, so he doesn’t have to
mess around anymore.”
It was late at night when Fernan returned to the villa after completing all border affairs.
It was because he remembered that he was wearing clothes that smelled of blood.
Fernan then turned and headed to his bedroom, taking off his clothes one by one.
Suddenly, the jacket fell to the floor and someone knocked on the door as he began to
unbutton his shirt.
“Come in.”
Meanwhile, Fernan, who took off his shirt completely after undoing the cuff buttons,
opened the window.
Then the door opened. The sound of footsteps entering the room was somewhat cautious.
Realizing that it wasn’t his lieutenant, Fernan slowly turned his head.
“Julia?”
“Ah….”
Surprised to see Fernan’s naked body, Julia quickly lowered her head.
At this time, she was always asleep. He was thinking of going to watch her for a while after
changing his clothes and washing his body clean.
Julia answered quietly while still keeping her gaze on the ground.
“I have something to tell you… I was waiting for you to come back.”
She lowered her head, so her face was hard to see. Fernan opened his mouth slowly,
keeping his gaze on her forehead.
He was concerned that the smell of fishy blood would offend Julia.
After confirming that Julia nodded calmly, Fernan headed to the bathroom.
Then, raising her eyes, Julia looked at the back of the overbearing man who entered the
bathroom.
There was a long wound that ran across the back, which was covered with muscles, under
the wide-open shoulders.
When she entered the room a little while ago, traces of cruelty were engraved all over his
body in the moonlight.
She had no idea that he had so many scars on him. It was the first time she had seen his
body.
For some reason, her heart started to pound. The image of him, whom she had only
considered perfect and strong, gradually shifted from within her.
Julia stood far away, unable to sit down, and looked down at the floor.
“Julia.”
A low voice descended. At that moment, Julia raised her head and looked at his body
covered by a thin shirt.
Looking at her still standing, Fernan came closer and lightly held her hand.
Julia, who was gently led by him, sat down at a table, and he sat down opposite her.
Fernan stared intently at her face with a calm gaze as if waiting for her to open her mouth.
Hiding the complicated emotions floating in her head, Julia opened her lips.
“… Your Highness, do you still want me to be with you?”
She wanted to ask Fernan one last time. Was he willing to let her go?
“Yes.”
“… ”
Julia held her hand tightly placed on her lap. Now hearing his answer, she couldn’t figure
out what he was feeling.
It was troublesome and heavy. Julia took a small deep breath and then she looked straight
at him.
Her blue eyes shone brightly. Fernan did not avert her gaze, and softly touched his lips.
“If you want to leave just because you don’t like being by my side, I can’t listen to it.”
She slightly moistened her dry lips and changed the subject in a brief moment.
That seemed good. It may be a challenge wherever she went, but at least if it wasn’t this
place, it would be easier to leave.
The reason why Julia wanted to leave Fernan was very different from the beginning.
When she first came here, she thought he dragged her by force, so she tried to run away.
After that, when she found out that there was a misunderstanding in her opinion, the truth
was a little shaken.
He was different from before, and he treated her so well that it was unfamiliar to her.
When she saw the deep scar across his back a while ago, Julia felt the weight of the war he
had gone through for the first time. Such a distinct pain was engraved on the back of this
man who had led the many years of war to great victories.
And maybe the painful wounds were only part of what he had been through. Now, Julia was
able to fully understand beyond understanding. The reason why he treated her harshly in
the past.
He could never have seen her as good among those who had tortured and oppressed him.
He must have felt repulsed and pushed out.
She wasn’t sure that if she stayed by his side like this, such a situation would not be
repeated again.
As long as the Marquis was still holding out, her existence would still be a factor that
suppressed Fernan. So, breaking up like this was best for both of them.
Fernan’s eyes gleamed as if examining her sincerity, and then calmly returned.
Julia lowered her eyelids and pondered for a moment. Then she soon recalled that one of
his estates was a coastal city.
It was a long way from this Grand Duchy. There were plenty of ports there, so it might be
easier to go somewhere else.
“….the sea.”
“Sea?”
“Yes, I want to go to a place with a view of the ocean.”
In response to her answer, Fernan, who nodded, spoke without a single thought.
“There is an estate in the west called Seyref. I’ll set up a mansion where you can see the
sea.”
It was a gentle permission. Julia tried hard to maintain a calm face and expressed her
gratitude.
“Thank you.”
There was nothing more to say, so Julia, who was about to get up, suddenly stopped.
And as she pondered for a moment, she lowered her gaze, and then opened her mouth
again.
She really wanted to walk on the beach with him before she left. Perhaps it would be the
last time with him.
At her quiet request, Fernan’s eyes engraved with moonlight flickered slightly.
He looked at Julia’s face as if he was carving it into his eyes, and replied one step later.
At that moment, Julia got up from her seat. In the meantime, the night deepened and the
room got a little darker.
Fernan also got up and accompanied her on the short way back to her bedroom.
The sound of footsteps echoing through the quiet hallway continued slowly.
Chapter 69
It took several days to prepare for the move.
In the midst of early summer, Richel estate was full of green energy.
When the carriage stopped, the children rushed out to the front yard to wait for Julia to
come down.
“Julia!”
Soon after she got off, five or six children clung together and hugged her.
Smiling brightly, Julia took her children’s hands and entered her gate.
“Welcome, Julia.”
When only the two of them were left in the parlor, Julia opened her mouth.
“It’s a long way from here, so I don’t think I’ll stop by here anymore.”
The territory of Seyref, where Julia decided to stay, was located on the opposite side of the
Grand Duchy.
“… no.”
As Julia lifted her mouth with a sullen expression, Gabrielle looked at her anxiously.
“Anywhere else… .”
“It’s a foreign country. I’m going to a place that’s very, very far from the Empire, where he
can’t find me no matter how much he searches.”
This time, she will have to live alone without anyone’s help.
It was a time when she had to stand alone without people who accepted and cared for her
unconditionally like when she was living in the Holy Land.
“Julia, when the Holy Land is stable, can’t we just go back to the old days? Can you hang in
there, then leave with me and the kids, huh?”
Fernan already knew she was in Holy Land, so now she couldn’t go there again.
“Julia, then… Why don’t you go with Cedric? He will definitely go with you.”
“No. Cedric will have to continue his priesthood… I can’t cause him any more trouble.”
Then Gabrielle immediately shook her head. Cedric was still waiting eagerly for a call from
Julia.
How much he cared and wished for Julia, Gabrielle was actually aware of.
“If you don’t like it, I can’t help it, but he’ll be happy to follow you.”
“… ”
“So think about it. It’s because I’m so worried that you’re leaving alone.”
“Yes I will.”
She had to meet Cedric once before leaving. At the very least, she should exchange letters. If
he offered to help, Julia had no reason to refuse.
“Thank you for caring for me like a daughter and treating me with kindness. Gabrielle…
you’re like a mother to me.”
Her one year at the small monastery in the Holy Land was the happiest time of Julia’s 20
years of life.
At the center of it all was Gabrielle. Even though they were not blood related, she was
always a person who gave her infinite affection without a price.
Julia hoped that her relationship with Gabrielle would not end like this. She would be able
to see her again when she left safely and settled somewhere.
“… ”
“I want to see you again after you leave. Then we can spend more time together.”
She tried to keep a smile on her face, but somehow she felt like she was about to cry.
***
It was her last day at Richel when she got in touch with Cedric.
When Gabrielle sent a letter to the temple, she received a reply within just one day.
[I’m leaving for Seyref. There is a port there, so it will be easy to escape, as Julia said. Come
with me.]
Even when she fled the Grand Duke’s castle a long time ago, even in the Holy Land, Cedric
was always happy to be with her.
She decided to contact Cedric again as soon as a departure date was set.
Melissa approached and spoke to her. Julia lightly nodded her head.
“His Highness has been away for a while. He said when he returned, he was going to leave
for Seyref in three days.”
Three days later, the schedule was faster than expected. Julia went straight to the bedroom
and prepared her stationery and her quill.
Julia, who was trying to answer Melissa’s question while writing her letter, paused for a
moment.
“Ha….”
Julia, who covered her mouth, then lowered her head. At the same time, red blood flowed
out of her hand.
“Your Grace!”
Melissa was startled and ran to her, missing the vase she was holding.
The sound of the vase breaking on the floor echoed through the bedroom.
Melissa, who was worried and flustered, took out her handkerchief first.
Julia hurriedly grabbed Melissa’s hand as she was about to leave the bedroom.
“No, don’t call…. .”
Julia, who was barely able to open her mouth, shook her head. Melissa’s eyes trembled as
she looked at her red lips.
“What are you talking about! You need treatment right now… ”
A painful pressure felt as if someone was strangling her throat, but Julia continued to
stutter her words.
Melissa couldn’t even blink her eyes, as if she didn’t understand, but soon approached Julia.
“Your Grace, why are you like this? You vomited blood like that, why…”
Julia looked at Melissa, who was about to cry, slowly lowered her trembling hand.
She lightly pressed her lips to the back of her hand, struggling to smile.
As she felt her heart beating like crazy, Julia took a deep breath in.
At this point, she felt a vibration that resonated throughout her body to the extent that her
heart was about to burst.
“I can’t explain it exactly, but it’s a symptom that neither a doctor nor a priest can cure.”
“What… .”
“Melissa, don’t tell anyone what you saw today. Especially…His Highness.”
She barely lifted her eyelids. She had to leave soon, and she didn’t want to get caught up in
her condition.
Melissa barely blinked her eyes with her dazed face and then bit her lips.
“If you tell him, I’m sure he’ll find a way to cure Your Grace.”
Julia grabbed Melissa again and muttered in a more determined voice.
“I won’t stay with His Highness for long, Melissa, you know that. So listen to me. Please.”
Melissa noticed that Julia was strangely calm. It seemed like it wasn’t the first time this kind
of bleeding was happening.
Eventually Melissa turned her body completely towards her, sniffling her nose and bowing
her head. After confirming that Melissa had understood what she was saying, Julia took her
handkerchief and slowly wiped her lips, soaked in blood.
Melissa, who belatedly pulled out her spare handkerchief and wiped both her hands and
the hem of Julia’s dress, a crying voice came out at the same time.
“Are you really, really going to leave? When? You said you were going to Seyref, so you
could run away from there… ”
“…Yes.”
Stopping, Melissa looked at her with a sniffle. Julia smiled faintly as if to reassure her.
Seeing that, Melissa bowed her head deeply with her eyes full of tears.
Thanks to Melissa’s silence, the disturbance that occurred once was organized like that.
That evening, Fernan, who had been away, returned and three smooth days passed after
that.
The morning scheduled to leave for Seyref, Julia chose the dress that Fernan had bought for
her the other day.
It was a white frill dress with sapphire in the middle of the neckline.
When she came out after dressing up, the bright sunlight of summer melted her body.
Fernan, who was instructing a lieutenant in the front yard, felt a presence and looked back.
“Your Highness.”
Finally, looking into her eyes again, he opened his mouth quietly.
She was still feeling throbbing all over, but she smiled quietly as if nothing had happened.
Thinking that there was not much time left to spend with him, she felt comfortable and
uncomfortable.
She wanted to treat him well for the rest of the time she had left.
She didn’t want to run away because she didn’t like him like she used to.
After she left, she hoped that he would live a better life than before.
May he meet a new person and no longer suffer from someone hostile to him.
‘Like that, both of us. May you live a life that is no longer difficult.’
For the first time, Julia looked at him with a sweet smile on her face, Fernan’s eyes also
contained a soft light.
Reaching out, Fernan wrapped her soft hand in his. The hand was strong and gentle just the
same.
Chapter 70
The refreshing coastal city in summer boasted cool scenery just by looking at it.
The mansion that Fernan had prepared was located on a high ground that could be seen
beyond the sea to the horizon. In the distance, several ships were seen going to and from
the port.
With those words, Julia looked around the interior decorated in bright colors.
Decorated statues everywhere and large picture frames hanging in the hallway. Even the
elegant tapestry of the dark series was made with attention to detail.
“I like everything.”
She felt like her heart would be cleared up if she stayed in such an open place.But she
shouldn’t be too affectionate.
Julia quickly climbed the stairs and looked at the large window hanging on the landing wall.
It felt as if the vast sea spread out through the window opened up to the depths of the
blockage.
Fernan nodded as if he was satisfied with the gentle answer. Julia stared at him for a
moment.
His handsome face, which was no different from his usual, was not stained with tiredness,
even though she had never seen him sleeping during the entire ride in the wagon.
“Your Highness, aren’t you tired?”
In response to the quiet question, Fernan looked at her clear eyes softly as if it contained
the blue sea.
Unexpectedly, at this moment, he thought that Julia and this coastal city go together very
well.
When there was no answer from him, Julia gently grabbed his hand.
Julia, who smiled slightly, led him up the stairs one step at a time.
Fernan, who had taken his steps suddenly, was gently led by her.
As they entered the long hallway on the third floor, the waiting attendant led them to the
assigned bedroom.
“I’ll come and call you in the evening. Please rest well.”
Seeing how friendly Julia was today, Fernan’s eyes became subtle. As if conflicting whether
to rejoice or have doubts.
While he hesitated, Julia nodded her head as if she was telling him to go in.
Seeing the small smile on the corner of her lips, Fernan eventually moved his feet.
“…okay.”
Only after Fernan, who answered softly, went inside, Julia turned away.
Her bedroom was a little farther from Fernan’s bedroom. When the large door opened
wide, a bedroom decorated with bright colors just like the lobby was revealed.
Julia looked around the room for a moment. Each piece of furniture and decorations were
placed with great care.
She removed the silk canopy and sat down on the bed, her body quickly got tired.
In fact, before she came here, she had already made an appointment with Cedric.
The deadline was one week later. She agreed to meet him at Lian, the largest port in Seyref.
She didn’t know what would happen, so she didn’t set the exact time.
[I’ll wait forever, so don’t overdo it and come to me when you’re sure]
Cedric said he would stay at an inn near the port and wait for her.
When she met him safely, she would take a ferry and leave the empire first. Cedric has said
that her ticket and ID would be secured in advance.
Julia looked out the window. It was still a hot afternoon. She wanted to walk on the windy
sea in the evening.
It was around sunset when Julia, who had fallen asleep without realizing it, woke up.
Not long after, her temporary assigned maid came to attend to her.
As she followed the maid into the dressing room, a space as large as her bedroom was
revealed.
Julia looked at the clothes hanging on the hangers with a bewildered face. All of the
summer clothes that had been mended to fit her body shape were brand new.
Having entrusted her body to the hands of her maid, Julia fell into a slightly complicated
mood. Because she didn’t know she would be so meticulously equipped.
After that, she left the bedroom to find Fernan as promised, and to her surprise, Fernan was
standing in front of the door.
“A while ago.”
Fernan raised his lips slightly as he looked at her.
He looked a little different than usual, not in his usual uniform, but in a matching white
poet shirt.
He was not the overwhelming and cold northern ruler, but a noble young master of a noble
family.
For the first time he looked like a young man his age.
If he had been the heir of an ordinary aristocratic family, he would have looked like this.
At his calm voice, Julia erased her brief thoughts and nodded. She didn’t know why, but her
heart was pounding.
Standing side by side, they slowly made their way through the hallway to the stairs.
Eventually, when they arrived at the dining room, the smell of spices unique to the city hit
the tip of her nose.
The waitress, who was carrying the food to the table, politely bowed and turned around.
It was the silver spoon that dropped to the floor with a clunking sound that broke the
silence that had been going on for a while.
As he looked to see if there were any other problems with Julia’s meal, an innocent voice
came out.
Meanwhile, the servant brought out new tableware. As if nothing had happened, Julia
started eating again.
Fernan, who had been watching her for a while longer, withdrew his attention as there
seemed to be nothing wrong with her.
As they left the dining room after finishing their meal, Julia spoke first.
Fernan looked down at her quietly. Her complexion was slightly paler than before.
“It’s not enough to worry about, I’ll be fine with a little rest.”
There was a hint of concern in Fernan’s gaze, but she pretended not to know and spoke in a
calm voice.
Julia tried to climb the stairs slowly so as not to look urgent. She felt Fernan’s gaze was
watching her, but she did not look back.
She went straight to her bedroom, and as soon as she opened the door, she collapsed on the
bed.
“ha…”
Grasping her trembling hand tightly, she let out shallow breaths.
For some time now, the cycle of pain has been increasing.
***
The next day, Julia could not spend time with Fernan as planned.
The maid came to wake her up several times, but Julia couldn’t get up.
After sending the maid away using an excuse of tiredness, she continued to sleep.
“How’s Julia….”
Around the afternoon, Fernan, standing in front of her bedroom, asked the maid. The maid
bowed her head and reported.
“She’s still sleeping. I tried to wake her up several times, but she seemed very tired….”
Fernan looked silently at the closed door, and then he turned the doorknob.
As he opened the door, a small figure, lying on her back, buried in the bed, caught his eye.
“Julia.”
He had visited her in the morning as well. Julia was sleeping then so he turned around. It
was strange that she slept through the afternoon.
Fernan walked closer to her bed and gently stroked her disheveled light hair.
As his quiet voice descended, Julia rustled and slowly rose up.
The eyes looking back at him were wet. Her face was even more emaciated than yesterday.
The maid bowed her head and walked out of the room, and Fernan lowered his hand from
her forehead to her cheek.
“It doesn’t hurt. It’s just that I’m tired from riding the carriage for too long yesterday.”
Her voice was shaky as it came out. Fernan looked at her with a piercing gaze, and then
slowly removed his hand.
“Julia, even if it’s a small problem, see a doctor first from now on.”
“Okay.”
Julia’s eyes curved faintly as she answered softly. Still, Fernan’s face was stained with
concern.
Chapter 71
“Your Highness, this is Lockman. I’m coming in.”
After checking her pulse, he did some other tests, but her condition was not much different
from before, except for her fever.
Lockman prescribed medicine for fever and tea for energy recovery.
There was a sleep-inducing ingredient in the tea, so Julia fell asleep quickly.
“Her Grace seems to have intermittent fever because the chronic heart disease has not been
fully cured.”
When Lockman spoke in a low voice, Fernan, who had been watching Julia as she slept,
answered in an anxious voice.
“It has already been several months since she took the manufactured medicine. But, why is
it so difficult to recover?”
“It may be because her body is weak, or there may be other reasons… There are no other
causes identified as of now.”
Fernan, who was deep in thoughts, nodded, and Lockman politely bowed before leaving the
bedroom.
As he lowered his gaze further, he saw the soft back of her hand laid neatly on the blanket.
In his gaze, Julia always looked infinitely small and delicate. She was so light that every
time he held her, he wondered if she was okay.
Should he feed her more? Or should he call a priest and perform a blessing ceremony?
Fernan sat quietly in his chair with a serious expression. He looked at the sleeping Julia for
a long time.
It was only a few hours later that the sudden knocking sound was heard.
While he opened the door and went outside, Julia’s eyes, which had been closed, were
slowly opened.
She had just woken up to the sound of the voice from outside her door a while ago.
Her stomach was hot and throbbing. While Julia exhaled a long breath, the voice faintly
leaked from the outside.
“I don’t know if the location has been discovered. Marquis Elody, this time…… ”
Her mind was blank and she didn’t have energy to listen. Of course, she had no intention of
eavesdropping.
However, the words ‘Marquis Elody’ were clearly lodged in her ears.
Curiously, her ears turned to the outside of the door, but the only thing she could hear was
a hum, and no more clear words could be heard.
She let out a heavy sigh with weary eyes. Is her father making trouble for Fernan again?
Obviously, last time too, she had heard that the Marquis was monitoring Fernan by the
Emperor’s orders.
Even when she thought she had completely abandoned her family name, her father’s name
followed her like a shadow.
Even though she no longer had any intention of returning to that house, when she heard
the name, she had no choice but to pay attention.
Julia closed her eyes tightly as if avoiding reality. Her head began to ring loudly.
***
It was the morning two days later when Julia woke up from her sickbed.
After spending two days in the bedroom, her body was very sore, but not so much that she
couldn’t move.
“Julia.”
When Julia just came out of the bedroom after changing, Fernan approached her as soon as
she appeared.
For the past two days, Fernan had been by her side, and every time she woke up in
between, she remembered this man who was looking down at her with a steady posture.
Her body suddenly deteriorated, and she couldn’t keep her promise to go to the sea with
him.
It was a sunny day than usual. She felt like walking on the sand would open up the
stuffiness.
However, Fernan responded belatedly with a somewhat troubled expression on his face.
“I have to leave for a while today because I have urgent political affairs.”
“Oh…”
Julia, who had a sad face without realizing it, shook her head.
It was okay because today was not the only day. She still had half a week until the meeting
with Cedric.
Fernan hastily answered. But even after saying that, he couldn’t easily take his steps.
He held Julia’s hand, and then wrapped his other hand around her soft back and hugged her
into his arms.
Her cool, pleasant body scent tickled the tip of her nose. Julia suddenly froze for a moment
as she buried her face in his shirt.
It wasn’t the first time she’d been hugged by him, but it felt a bit strange to hold him face to
face like this.
Before long, she felt his hand brushing her hair away, a gentle touch she couldn’t even
imagine before.
Julia blinked, then impulsively raised her hands and hugged him back.
Even though she spread her arms, she could not fully embrace him.
As she hugged him as she clenched his shirt lightly, she felt his large body stiffen.
Long ago, there was a time when she really longed for this hug.
There were days when she wanted him to look at her just once and be kind to her.
Julia slowly closed her eyes. But the days of longing for him were long gone.
She had no intention of walking down the path of oppressing him and her at the same time
again.
She didn’t want to lose her freedom to be tied to the ranks of Grand Duchess or someone’s
wife.
And this man, too, didn’t want to be oppressed anymore because of her and her family.
Julia quietly enjoyed the mysterious feeling of this moment. Maybe this moment will never
come back.
***
“Certainly, sir. Isn’t it suspicious that the checkpoints were suddenly strengthened?”
The knight answered in a calm voice. It was as he said. Due to the sudden intensification of
checkpoints, the Marquis was locked up in the inn without being able to pass through the
territory.
At the next words of the knight, the Marquis narrowed his eyes and clicked his tongue in
annoyance.
The fact that he has a woman was doubtful. Rumors had already become established in the
capital and had spread.
For more than a year, the Grand Duke returned all the courtship letters that came to him. In
addition, he even refused national marriage this time.
Yes, there could be a woman. Otherwise, there was no way he could give up the national
marriage offer.
If this national marriage was accomplished, it would be a good opportunity to easily break
the emperor’s eternal pressure, so there was no way he would turn it down.
The Marquis suddenly gritted his teeth with a face full of anger.
The days when the power of the Grand Duke, who was no different than the center of the
empire, as his son-in-law was equal, was now a thing of the past.
The Marquis still had the light of that time in his eyes.
The various businesses and investments that he started with the fame of the Grand Duke on
his back were successful, and the number of people who wanted to catch his eyes increased
endlessly.
Not to mention the emperor’s confidence. The marquis family was literally royalty. He was
like a bookmaker who shared and planned all the affairs of the empire.
When the missing daughter came to mind, the direction of his anger changed at once.
“I asked her to give birth to his successor, but how dare she disobey and disappear.”
bang! Then, with his clenched fist, the Marquis slammed the table hard.
“If that damn girl had given birth to a child and then disappeared, I wouldn’t have suffered
so much!”
Yes, if there was a successor with Elody’s bloodline, he would have been able to show off
his prestige to his heart’s content even if he didn’t have his daughter.
It was for that reason that he had been harvesting and raising that lowly thing until this
day, but after the girl disappeared, everything went wrong.
The knight standing next to him nodded calmly, as if familiar with the Marquis’s moods.
“Sir, first calm down and think of a way to pass the checkpoint.”
The anger that boiled up easily subsided again. The Marquis was up and down with his
mood several thousand times a day these days.
The marquis abruptly got up from his seat and circled around the same spot.
“First of all, we need to find someone. We have to somehow get him into the mansion
where the Grand Duke is staying, and check what he is doing.”
“Yes… If it’s sure there’s a girl, she’ll be his weakness for now.”
“You go out and get a few useful men, and about three men who can act as drivers or
porters.”
“Yes, sir.”
The knight gave a brief answer and went straight to the door. The Marquis sat down in
front of the table and pulled out a cigar from his inner pocket.
At that moment, someone slammed the door open before the knight could grab the
doorknob.
“Grand…..ah!”
At the same time, the knight fell on the floor with broken words. Astonished, the Marquis
dropped his cigar and turned his head.
Behind the knight, who was cut down by a single strike with a sword, stood a man with a
stern expression. It was Fernan, who was the center of the conversation a while ago.
Chapter 72
“I knew you were stupid, but I didn’t expect it to be this much.”
What was thrown in front of the Marquis was the spy the Marquis had planted in the Grand
Duke’s Castle the other day.
The spy, who was trembling and lying in front of the Marquis, murmured.
Realizing that the spy confessed everything, the Marquis jumped up with a pale face.
‘D*mn, what should I do?’ The Marquis, who licked his tongue harshly, squealed first.
“What a rude thing to do! How dare you visit me out of the blue and be so violent!”
As he reacted ignorantly and shouted loudly, Fernand approached the Marquis without
changing his expression.
Without hesitation, he lifted the sword in his hand, and the Marquis fell back with a squeal.
“If you had done it in moderation and stopped, I wouldn’t have thought of killing you.”
Fernan thrust his sword into the other arm of the Marquis. The Marquis screamed in pain.
“Ah! Ah!”
Fernan, who looked down at the screaming Marquis with a dazzling gaze, pulled out the
sword and put it back down again.
At the blade that dug deep into his thigh, the Marquis began to squirm and struggle.
Fernan, who twisted the blade, adding to the pain, tilted his head slowly.
What the Marquis had done to Julia in the past could not be compared to a single pierce.
Therefore, the marquis should die as slowly as possible, after repeated pain and suffering.
So that he never put his shameless face in front of Julia in the name of her father again.
The following words were swallowed by the sharp knife that was thrust into his mouth.
It was concluded that the Marquis’ servants were killed with their possessions taken away
by bandits.
Since only the bodies of his subordinates were found, the Marquis was treated as missing.
However, no one thought he was alive, as blood-stained belongings and clothes were found.
The influence of the Marquis Elody had already weaned for a long time. This incident
quickly passed without being a big topic of discussion in the capital.
However, at the news of the Marquis, the Marchioness fainted, and his son, Grayson, did not
shed a single tear.
The Emperor seemed convinced that the Grand Duke was behind this, but he did not rush
to speak of the possibility.
It was because he knew very well that if he touched the Grand Duke with no proof would
only harm himself.
Meanwhile, the Marquis was imprisoned in a dungeon and tortured, and died on the third
day.
***
He told Julia that he would be back soon, but he felt nervous because it took longer than
planned.
He headed straight to Julia’s bedroom and knocked on the door. However, it was not Julia
who came out from inside, but her maid.
“Where is Julia?”
The maid, who bowed her head to his question, answered quickly.
“In the morning, she went to the shore to see the ocean.”
The promise to go to the sea together was postponed due to various things, so it seemed
like she was going to go alone.
Fernan got on his horse and rode along the road leading to the shore.
Now that he had removed the elements that would break Julia’s tranquility, she would now
be able to live comfortably here without any disturbance.
The last time, she seemed very happy with the old lady and the children. She seemed to
depend a lot on the old lady as well.
If she visited them often, she may laugh more often than now.
It was enough for him to see her smile as long as she was in his realm. Soon he entered a
gravel road near the shore.
With the horse tied up nearby, he loosened the collar of his shirt.
Just as he was about to enter the beach road, a knight who was running madly from afar
found him and suddenly stopped.
“Your Highness!”
From the voice of the knight shouting urgently, Fernan immediately felt an unusual
momentum.
***
On the second day when Fernan did not return, Julia went to the beach alone that evening.
Unlike the daytime when the scorching heat continued, in the evening, the air was cool. So,
after looking at the distant horizon for a long time, she returned to the mansion.
Until the next day, Julia looked through her window and checked several times to see if
Fernan had returned.
She thought he would be back in a day or two, but he seemed very busy.
Another day passed, and a week had passed since she came here, and the day she agreed to
meet Cedric came.
She thought she would leave after she saw Fernan’s face, but she knew the truth. Now his
absence was her opportunity to escape.
After a long walk along the pebbly and sandy beach, Julia subtly hardened her lips.
She thought it was better. If she had spent more time with Fernan than this, her mind
would become more complicated.
Julia looked at the blue summer sea for a long time. It was particularly sunny today, but
slightly cool with the breeze.
That evening.
Right across from Lian Harbor, at the Peribel Inn, Julia and Cedric were reunited safely.
“Julia!”
Cedric looked at Julia, who had entered the inn without hiding his happy emotions.
Cedric looked at her hastily and sighed in relief. Her condition didn’t look as bad as she
thought.
Julia asked with a smile as she looked at him. She finally met Cedric for the first time in two
seasons.
The winter when war broke out in the Holy Kingdom. Late winter and spring when she
went to Fernan’s villa. And here in the coastal city, it was a perfect summer.
“I’ve been doing well, but Julia… Are you okay?”
The problem was that she was getting along with Fernan much better than she expected.
“I thought I would have to wait at least a few more weeks for Julia to come. Did he just let
you go?”
“I ran away while His Highness was away. I used my power to trick the knight. But I don’t
think there’s a big strain on my body.”
“……”
Cedric’s green eyes looked at her with concern. Because she shouldn’t have used her
powers anymore.
To the question that changed the subject as if evoking, Cedric turned his gaze away at that
moment and gave an answer.
Not knowing when Julia would come, Cedric bought tickets every evening.
“It’d be better to leave right away this evening. That way, it’ll be easier to avoid the Grand
Duke’s search.”
Julia nodded resolutely. As Cedric said, the sooner she left this place, the better.
At least today the search would not extend to this port. She disappeared near the mansion,
so Fernan would probably start searching the coast and surrounding villages.
While Julia was organizing her thoughts, Cedric stared at her outfit.
“Julia, you should change first. It’ll be a long journey, comfortable clothes will be better.”
At that, Julia looked down at her clothes for a moment. It was obvious that she would stand
out wherever she went if she wore this gorgeous dress.
As Julia nodded, Cedric soon borrowed a plain robe from the innkeeper.
After changing and packing necessary luggage, the sun began to set.
It was around that time that the two left the inn.
Chapter 73
There were about two moored ships in the harbor. A crew member was checking the
identity of the passengers to help them get on and off.
When it was his turn, Cedric showed the two IDs and tickets he had prepared in advance.
The sailor removed his long gaze and nodded as if saying it was okay to enter.
The two of them safely entered the passenger ship and were able to relax for an hour.
“I’m going to look at the deck for a moment. Just in case, Julia shouldn’t come out.”
Julia nodded. So Cedric disappeared into the hallway, and she immediately went inside and
closed the door.
Looking through the window attached to the cabin wall, the outside was gradually getting
dark.
The ferry was going to depart in thirty minutes. After passing through the Ruth Territory as
a stopover, it was a route that ended in a small principality called Edina.
Looking at the waving sea, Julia sat down on the cot. By now, the news that she disappeared
would have reached Fernan. Belatedly, she thought she should have left him a letter.
‘No…’
Slowly shaking her head, she took off the robe that she was wearing. There was no need for
her to write a letter and leave regrets behind.
Julia just wanted him to live well. She knew that the man who seemed perfect actually had a
very difficult life… she knew that now.
Already within her, her long-standing hatred and resentment for Fernan had faded. It might
be sudden for him, but it would be better for each other to end it like this.
Julia took a deep breath and then brushed her disheveled hair behind her ear.
“The passenger ship will depart soon, so please get away from the exit.”
Only after hearing the crew’s instructions did Cedric walk away. Perhaps it was because it
was an evening ferry, there were not many people on the deck.
As he crossed the deck with slight doubts, suddenly raindrops began to fall little by little.
Cedric looked up at the sky for a moment and then lowered his head to the front again. At
that moment, his whole body stiffened.
Black hair engulfed in darkness and brightly golden eyes. A man who was different from
others because of his overwhelming appearance.
They had never met, but Cedric immediately knew who the man was.
‘How….?’
As Cedric took a step back and was about to turn around, a couple of men blocked him.
Judging from the fact that they were wearing swords, they were clearly knights.
“…Ah.”
Did the Grand Duke know from the beginning that Julia was going to board this evening
ferry……?
Hearing the sound of footsteps coming closer behind him, Cedric fell to his knees as he was
grabbed by the knights without even having time to resist.
When he looked up, the Grand Duke was looking down at him with his eyes gleaming with
madness.
Cedric couldn’t help but look up at the handsome man in front of him.
When and how did he know… ? While Cedric’s head was pounding in chaos, an order was
issued.
The knights scattered all at once, and then Fernan headed for the cabin with a reckless
pace.
Fernan’s gaze, passing through the broken door, scanned the room thoroughly.
His golden eyes, like the eve of the storm, were eroded by a frenzied obsession that had
disappeared for a while.
Julia ran away again. With her gentle smile and loving touch, she deceived him.
Fernan’s lips trembled slightly, then hardened. He actually noticed. He knew that Julia was
sending and receiving letters with the priest. That she was full of thoughts of leaving at any
time.
Fernan, who had been randomly opening doors for a long time, stopped in front of a certain
room.
His hand with tight veins turned the doorknob without hesitation.
Through the gap in the door, a familiar figure standing in front of the window caught his
eye.
Instead of the gorgeous dress he gave her, Julia, wearing shabby and worn-out clothes, was
standing by the window.
Her long, light hair fluttered slightly. Julia turned her head.
“Your Highness……”
Fernan approached her slowly. As the distance narrowed, her gaze shifted upward little by
little.
His still voice, which suppressed his emotions, descended upon her.
Before Julia could finish her words, Fernan took her delicate hand. Contrary to his eyes that
seemed to have lost his reason, his hand holding her was not strong as if he didn’t release
his power.
“…Why?”
Julia’s voice wasn’t as cold as when she first pushed him away. Rather, it was soft, as if she
was trying to convince him.
“I want to find my own life, not the life that belongs to anyone.”
“… ”
Fernan, who was silently listening to the next words, moved his dry lips slowly.
“I will give you that life. I’ll give you everything you want.”
Lockman once said Fernan wasn’t completely indestructible from the start, saying he
wasn’t the one who had it all, and he wasn’t as strong as everyone thought he was.
Even so, his and Julia’s eyes were still very different.
Julia wasn’t confident enough to climb with him on the high ground he had set on. She
didn’t want to live by his side as his woman, as someone’s wife.
She wanted to be free from all the bondages that held her down.
“I hope that you will walk the path of the future with someone who really suits you, not
me.”
“… ”
“I, I don’t hate you anymore, I don’t even resent you, so you can let go of all the guilt you
have left.”
As she said that, her face was calm and peaceful. As if she didn’t really feel anything
towards him anymore.
Her words pierced through Fernan’s heart. Julia’s voice, wishing for his happiness, was
slashing through his whole body like knives.
“Happiness… ”
Fernan murmured in an empty voice. Happiness, happiness. Fernan, who had forced her
beautiful words into his mind, took a step closer to her.
His piercing voice, as if he had lost his mind, threw a stone at Julia’s calm gaze.
As he looked straight into her blue eyes, which began to tremble little by little, he continued
to whisper.
“There’ll be no other person who suits me, that option won’t exist even if I die.”
“…”
“I only need you. As long as I have you, I don’t need anything else.”
His graceful face was horribly distorted. He wasn’t in the slightest threatening. Rather, he
was pouring out words with a desperate voice.
“… ”
Then she lifted her hardened lips and let out a more determined voice.
Fernan’s lips trembled with a dark gaze. He slowly reached out and grabbed Julia’s face.
Then, a cold voice that completely killed the desperation poured out.
It was a broken gaze, with only darkness dwelling all over it, where the shaking
disappeared.
“What…”
Before she could even speak, Fernan straightened his body. Looking at the back of him who
turned around and walked out without hesitation, Julia went blank. After Fernan left the
room, only then did she come to her senses and followed him.
“…Your Highness!”
Julia hurriedly tried to catch up to him, but Fernan did not look back and turned around the
end of the hallway at once.
As they entered the deck, heavy raindrops were pouring down mercilessly.
Fernan walked through the rain and approached Cedric, who had been captured by the
knights.
There was no hesitation in the gesture of pulling the sword out of the sheath around his
waist. A sharp blade was pointed at the neck of Cedric, who was kneeling on his knees.
“…no!”
At that moment, Julia, who ran out onto the deck, shouted.
The moment Fernan raised his sword, she rushed to him and grabbed his arm.
At her desperate words, Fernan stopped his movement. Taking advantage of the gap, Julia
blocked him.
There was a clear intent to kill in his darkened eyes. Indeed, he really was trying to kill
Cedric.
But now she knew. This man would never let her go for any reason.
Julia raised her head and looked up at him, still holding her sword.
“… ”
At the end of her voice, who muttered in despair, a cry was mixed.
Fernan’s eyes, which had gone black, began to tremble at the soft tears that welled up in the
corners of her eyes.
At that moment, Fernan slowly lowered his hand and dropped his sword on the floor.
“Julia…… ”
Julia, who tried hard to swallow her tears, began to loosen the rope that was tied to Cedric’s
wrist. Cedric looked at her anxiously.
Fernan couldn’t move, as if stuck in place, putting her image in his eyes. Again, it was as if
an invisible solid wall was built between Julia and him.
Just like when he found her a long time ago. She had her back to him which was so far away.
The difference from then was that he could no longer let Julia go.
“… Julia.”
Fernan murmured to Yulia, who wasn’t even looking at him. But Julia did not look back. She
was just struggling to free the man in front of her.
A heavy rain fell on Julia. It was not known whether she was crying, or if the rain was
pouring on her face.
Julia’s hand slipped several times as the tightly bound rope could not be loosened easily. As
he stared blankly at her, Fernan approached her with belatedly focused eyes.
He took off his jacket and put it on her shoulders, holding her struggling hand. Then, Julia
raised her reddened eyes and looked up at him.
“Release him.”
Fernan, who commanded the knight standing next to him, lowered his body to Julia.
Holding her as she was, he slowly lifted her body up.
Only after seeing the knight free Cedric did her stiff breathing begin to return to normal.
Julia muttered in a weak voice. Her wet, droopy body felt no weight. It was as if he was
holding something empty inside.
And he held Julia in his arms even deeper to the point of tenacity.
Seeing Cedric who couldn’t leave his position even after the rope was loosened, Julia
muttered as if crying.
“I’m sorry, Cedric, I’m fine, so you don’t have to help me anymore…”
Seeing Julia, who could only say sorry to him over and over again, Cedric stretched out his
hand, but was immediately stopped by the knights.
After Julia asked him to leave several times, Cedric finally turned around.
Until the very end, it was only causing trouble for Cedric. In less than a day, the escape
came to an end in vain.
The rain, which was thought was a shower, did not stop, and both entered the mansion
soaking wet.
The sound of heavy wet footsteps echoed through the quiet mansion. Fernan went up the
stairs silently and headed straight to Julia’s bedroom.
Squeak, the door opened and he entered and sat Julia down on her bed.
While Julia stared helplessly at the floor, Fernan knelt down on one knee in front of her.
The jacket, which she was wearing, fell to the floor. Then Fernan began to unbutton her
blouse one by one.
When the top was opened halfway, Julia raised her hand and stopped him.
“… That’s okay.”
Fernan, whose eyes without a single light, looked up at her. Julia, who looked at him like
that, sighed in the distance.
It was her who was brought in, but on the contrary, this man had a face that looked like he
was about to die.
Julia endured the throbbing headache and took his hand off.
Because she was wearing a robe, the underclothes were not wet. Rather, it was Fernan who
got soaked from his clothes to his hair.
Julia got up slowly, looking at the dripping rain from him, and came back with a cloth.
As she placed the cloth on his face, who was still kneeling, Fernan’s eyes began to tremble
violently.
“Why…… ”
He barely opened his mouth and grabbed Julia’s wrist. The recoil caused the cloth to fall to
the floor. Fernan finally got up. With her gaze rising in an instant, Julia looked at him
without a word.
Then he lowered his head again and put her hand on his shirt.
Fernan’s face began to contort as she unbuttoned his wet shirt one by one.
Julia, who lightly ignored his words, loosened the last button. The wet muscles were
exposed through the open shirt.
Turning around, Julia went out the door and told the servant to bring new towels and
clothes.
Fernan was just looking at her with bewildered eyes. It was like he was asking why she was
not complaining.
Why was she trying to take off his clothes and dry his body herself?
Leaving behind all those questions, Julia, who had received the towels and clothes from the
servant, approached him again. When she opened a large towel to wipe his body, Fernan
immediately grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him.
As he led her to the bed in that state, her soft body lay helplessly on the bed.
“… ”
“Tell me to get lost, tell me to die. Tell me you don’t want to see me, tell me to disappear.
Tell me you hate me and resent me…”
He seemed ready to receive all the resentment and hatred from her.
Naturally, she couldn’t help but resent this man who blocked her path.
She knew she had to get angry, and not accept him like this.
To hate him again…… She didn’t even think about it because she was so exhausted both
physically and mentally.
Yes, she was really tired now. If she couldn’t leave no matter what she did, she would
rather live in compliance.
So, the thought of wanting to help drying this man without knowing was probably an
extension of that mind.
“Are you doing this for fear that I might take him back and kill him?”
Fernan painfully twisted his eyes. He seemed to think that she was doing this only to save
Cedric.
After a brief pause, Julia raised her gaze again and spoke slowly.
“… ”
The voice that continued to flow was plain.There wasn’t a single bit of hatred towards him.
Fernan looked down at her and twisted his lips slightly. Julia was saying anything to save
the priest.
She simply stayed by his side to protect the priest. That was how Fernan interpreted Julia’s
words. So those words once again brought deep despair to him.
Julia stared at his eyes, which had begun to turn red, with an unrealistic expression.
A stream of water that could not be wiped off flowed from his trembling chin.
After wiping away the water by stroking his chin with her soft hand, Julia slowly removed
her hand.
At that time, Fernan immediately grabbed her hand. He opened his mouth as he interlocked
her fingers.
“….Do anything.”
“… ”
A harsh deep voice and red, bloodshot eyes. Contrary to the fierce momentum, his
expression was miserable.
“No matter where you go, I’ll find you. I might really kill that man then.”
“… ”
“So, please… ”
Swallowing his words with misery, he looked at Julia’s sparkling blue eyes.
After making eye contact with her for a long time, Julia averted her gaze.
She saw his ripped muscles and the scars through the open shirt.
Traces that would not disappear no matter how much time passed.
She looked at his face, which seemed more painful than the traces of war, and finally looked
into his eyes again.
Fernan, who had been following her gaze tenaciously, finally met her eyes and kissed her as
if rushing to her.
Julia did not push him away even with a kiss as rough as if he would swallow her whole.
Chapter 75
It was a long night that she had never experienced before. Julia did not reject Fernan, who
rushed to her as if he was pouring out everything he had. Everywhere he passed, the
throbbing heat of passion remained like a mark.
The last memory was the voice that Fernan intermittently kissed and whispered as if
begging.
Fernan, sitting in front of the table, could be seen between the views with her heavy eyes.
After Julia got her body up with a groaning sound, he immediately approached her with a
gown on the table.
As the quivering blanket slid down her legs, Fernan draped the gown over her bare
shoulders.
He delicately tied the laces of the well-covered gown, and his face was clearer than the day
before.
His low-pitched voice was also sensitive. Julia put her feet on the floor without answering.
At the same time, the strength in her legs was lost and she almost collapsed, and Fernan
caught her right away.
Her waist and her knees were supported by him, and he held her in his arms.
Although Julia murmured without her aura, Fernan sat her down at the table without
replying.
Soon after, the servant knocked on the door saying that she had brought the meal. Fernan,
who was handed the tray, put the plate down on the table.
Seeing him trying to feed her, Julia quietly blinked her eyes.
Whether he was pretending that Julia’s escape never happened from the beginning, his
attitude now was very calm.
Julia, still with a hazy face, quietly took the food he was offering and ate it.
Julia shook her head. After the meal, Fernan did not leave and stayed by her side the whole
time.
Because of him staying with her all day until evening, Julia didn’t have time to think alone.
Her worries about Cedric quickly rose and she shook her head, but each time Fernan
caught her nerves like a ghost.
Looking out the window, Julia flinched as she felt his touch.
Fernan hugged her from behind and pressed his lips to the nape of her neck.
“… Ah.”
Her body, which was still sensitive from last night, responded easily to even a small
stimulus.
As Julia flinched, Fernan lifted the lip that had touched the nape of her neck and kissed her
delicate jawline.
It was the first time Julia knew that he was a man who showed his desire so easily.
She didn’t know the details of his feelings before, but at least he was a seemingly ascetic
man.
But last night he… Like a hungry beast, he longed for her and devoured her endlessly. A
groaning voice that could not be suppressed and leaked out. Eyes looking down at her as if
yearning for her.
Julia bit her lip as she felt all her senses of last night were revived.
Was this what he wanted? If it was his purpose to get rid of her soul so she couldn’t think
like this, he was perfectly successful.
***
“Your Majesty, the priest wandered around the territory and returned to the Temple of
Ilion only last night. Shall we keep watching?”
At dawn, Fernan, leaning back against the lobby pillar, tried to cool down.
“Yes, my lord.”
Fernan, who climbed the stairs with the knight behind, recalled the scene of that day.
Julia was blocking his way and trying to protect the priest. Her voice was tearful, saying,
“I’ll be by your side, so let him go.”
Fernan, biting his lips, paused for a moment. His heart began to pound violently.
It was still early in the morning. The sky, which had just begun to dawn, was gradually
getting brighter.
When he entered the bedroom with as little noise as possible, he saw a woman sleeping
soundly.
He sat down on the chair next to her bed and stared at Julia.
Long, thin eyelashes set under the round, pretty forehead. A small high nose bridge and red
lips.
He put everything in his eyes one by one, then reached out and ruffled her hair. The day
before he greedily touched and devoured her, he still felt something wasn’t fulfilled.
Even if she did not reject him, even if she seemed to accept him, it was difficult to believe
her sincerity. Because Julia always disappeared while he was careless.
His anxious and restless mood did not go away in any way. Even if she was in his hand like
this, she seemed far away.
He knew that expecting Julia to open her heart to him was too greedy.
Because he was blocking her path again, using the person she cherished.
Probably, she hated him (Fernan) insanely, but she was worried about that priest’s safety,
so she couldn’t say hateful words or reject him.(Fernan)
Fernan asked the sleeping woman. He knew the answer would never come back. If Julia
answered yes, he was not confident that he would not kill the priest.
And if that happened, Julia wouldn’t force herself to stay with him any longer. So it was a
question he would never ask when she was awake.
Fernan, who had been stroking her light hair, lowered her hand, and wiped her swollen
lower lip.
“… ”
“Are you going to tell me you’ll do it, even if it’s empty words?”
Then he took his hand from her lips and lowered his head deeply.
Just before he kissed her, he looked at her closed eyelids for a moment, then he lowered his
lips lightly.
It was a simple kiss with only lips touching, but at the end there was a weak obsession that
could not be hidden.
The next day, standing in front of the terrace railing, Julia looked into the air and blinked
her eyes.
It seemed that her heart was empty, and that she was just calm.
“Julia.”
Then a familiar voice was heard. When Julia turned, Fernan entered the terrace and
approached her.
“… ”
At that moment, Julia turned her head and looked at the scenery beyond the terrace. The
expansive blue sea immediately caught her eye.
“… ”
After looking only at the distant sea, she answered in a calm voice.
For the past few days, Julia followed his lead, and after a while, she quietly returned to her
place, repeating the same day.
Fernan stood there with a distant look on his face, then took a step closer to her.
“There’s nothing.”
“Then I will bring the children. I’ll bring them to this area so you can meet often…… ”
“No.”
At that moment, Julia, who had completely turned around, looked up at him.
“Even if you don’t do anything, I won’t leave. So don’t bring the children in.”
Julia turned to look out the window again, thinking that Cedric was enough for her to be a
hostage.
Then she stood there as if she would never look back at him again, and he grabbed her arm
and turned her around. Looking into her empty blue eyes, he frowned as if he didn’t know
what to say.
“If there’s nothing you want to do, then tell me what you want.”
“… ”
“Whether it’s mines, estates, or wealth, I’ll give you everything, so be extravagant.”
At his anxious words, Julia thought for a moment while avoiding his gaze. Does she have
anything she wants?
But it was concluded that there was nothing. She already had everything she needed in this
mansion.
Having said that, Julia raised her gaze again, and she stared intently at the man who could
hardly hide his expression.
“So, as you have done so far….”
Julia, who was muttering like a machine, stopped her speech for a moment. She then looked
into the eyes of the man who was right in front of her nose.
Her slightly gaping lips were swallowed as it was, along with the words she couldn’t
connect.
Fernan lowered his head to her deeply, covering her cheeks and the nape of her neck
completely.
Chapter 76
Julia’s shoulders trembled as she felt the heat in her mouth and his touch that was even
hotter than that.
Her body was pushed back and touched the railing, and his hands wrapped around her
waist supported her center of gravity. The obscene sound of her saliva flowing back and
forth, the reflex heating up of her body, was still unfamiliar.
Julia closed her eyes tightly and held onto the hem of his dress.
The kiss, which started hastily and continued for a long time, filled her head, which had
only been blurry. Then her lips dropped slightly with the touch of his tongue passing over
her lower lip.
“Ha….”
Julia’s face, which had been empty and pale, had regained her full color from the hot
contact from a while ago. Caressing her blushing red ear, Fernan whispered in a warm
voice.
“… ”
As Julia closed her wet lips and lowered her swaying gaze, he pressed his lips against hers
again as if he was urging her to answer.
At the sensation of her head turning white, Julia finally pushed him away with all her might.
Fernan, who had slipped away from her, looked down at her from a span of his distance.
Julia looked at him with a feeble resentment with her still hot face.
Fernan, who finally drew an answer from her, finally straightened up.
As if satisfied with her answer, Fernan gently stroked her wet lips.
And, unable to hold back, he pressed his lips to Julia’s cheek, who continued to look at him
with resentment.
In the evening when the sun was setting, Julia obediently went out to the beach with him.
The sky was a mixture of scarlet and pink, giving off a mysterious color. Julia quietly
captured the beautiful scene in her eyes.
When she ran away from Fernan, she thought she would never be able to see this sea again.
Maybe that’s why the endless sea that stretched out before her felt even newer at this
moment.
Julia looked up at the man walking by her side while holding her hand completely.
Then she lowered her gaze and stared at his feet, which were keeping pace with her slow
pace.
Deliberately emptying her complicated mind that was rising up and down, she looked at
the sea again.
This man was holding her hand just like the waves.
Even now that she had forgotten all of her love for him, she could not always get away from
him.
‘No, I…’
It wouldn’t last long. To the extent that these concerns were meaningless.
Julia could feel it. She had been ignoring it for so long, but she knew that her body was
already irreversibly damaged.
Knowing it would never come true, she continued to hold her hopes.
Because if she had hope, like a miracle, everything would get better.
But the reality was not like that, so in the end, she must have lived in a dream.
‘If today is the last, what should I do right now?’ Julia looked at the distant horizon and then
turned her gaze to Fernan.
“Your Highness…..”
She opened her mouth as if trying to tell him something, and suddenly stopped her steps.
Fernan, who had stopped with her, looked back at her, and Julia looked far away, clutching
her chest.
As if something from her strong energy was beating the pain all over her body, she sat
down.
She felt like her heart would burst. At the same time, a seething energy rose up to the nape
of her neck.
The sensation of heat filling up one after another from the stomach…………
“Julia!”
Fernan held Julia, who was trembling greatly. Julia, who had collapsed in his firm arms,
grabbed his arm tightly.
But the power kept draining from her hands and feet.
“Julia, why…”
At this moment, it seemed that the functions that made up her body were slowly
paralyzing.
Julia buried her head in his arms, cried and vomited blood.
Looking at his white shirt dyed red, Julia completely closed her eyes.
***
Julia, who was carried to the mansion by Fernan, was laid neatly on her bed.
Her complexion had completely disappeared, and not even the slightest movement.
Lockman, who had been observing her condition for a long time, barely uttered the words,
which he couldn’t get out.
Julia, who suddenly vomited blood and collapsed, had no foreshadowing symptoms.
Her body was weak and she was suffering from a disease that made her stamina fluctuate,
but it was never enough that she died suddenly.
“Her heart is weakly beating, but she probably won’t last long….”
His clothes and hands were all stained with red blood.
Not too long ago, Julia was holding his hand and looking at the sea.
The warmth of her that had reached him still remained in his hand. The aftermath of the
kiss that they shared deeply before going to the sea was still vivid and hot….
“I’m sorry. Everything is my fault… It seems that the Grand Duchess’ heart disease has
deteriorated rapidly, but I haven’t noticed any signs…………”
Lockman has been regularly checking Julia’s condition. Of course, he couldn’t say that her
illness wasn’t serious, but at least it wasn’t so serious that it took her life.
“Your Highness, I know I’m being rude. But, please prepare your heart…”
Because it seemed like Fernan, who was standing and looking down at Julia, would die first.
Fernan, who had a strange expressionless face, did not say anything for a long time.
When he realized that he could no longer hear even faint breaths, his eyes were black as if
struck by lightning.
Fernan hastily brought his ear to her heart. Thump, thump, he could feel her heart beating
slowly.
Fernan grabbed Lockman’s collar. Contrary to his still expressionless face, his bloody hands
were trembling frantically.
“….Your Highness.”
With his collar still being grabbed by Fernan, Lockman answered in the most calm voice
possible.
“The functions of her whole body except the heart have already stopped. In this case, it’s
considered as a moribund state. She won’t last long.… ”
After finishing his words, Lockman bowed his head. Fernan just released the power from
his hand helplessly.
“No.”
He looked at Julia again. Then, as he knelt down on the floor, desperately holding her hand.
Fernan still had a hard time understanding the situation. He couldn’t believe her hand,
which he held earlier, now laying cold.
He reached out and hugged her body, unable to even breathe as he was strangled. Feeling
her heart beating again in the bodies that were touched, he lowered his head to her. He
repeatedly blew breaths into Julia’s mouth on and off several times. The blood that could
not be wiped off from her mouth stained his lips red.
“Your Highness….”
Lockman muttered sadly, unable to stop him. Then he finally closed his eyes and turned his
head.
“…ha.”
After giving breaths for a while, Fernan felt the spirit gradually becoming numb.
Julia’s face, which was getting paler and paler, was captured in his dappled vision.
He reached out and gently wiped the bloodstains from her lips.
Moribund state. Death. Those words could never correspond to Julia. Never.
Blood vessels raised up on his neck. Standing up, he grabbed Julia and carefully lifted her
up.
Leaving Lockman’s cry behind, Fernan left the bedroom without hesitation.
He went down the stairs quickly and gave the order to the servant who was standing
restlessly.
Nodding his head while holding the catechism in one arm, Matheus walked towards the
chapel.
However, in his head, the story he had heard from Cedric, who had recently returned to the
temple, was circling.
“… In order to save me, Julia went back to the Grand Duke herself.”
The choice was compulsory, but Matheus considered that it was also Julia’s decision. It was
definitely a choice with her will.
But…
Julia’s power, which had returned to him like a set procedure for a while, had been cut off
at some point.
It was not strange if she lost all her powers and died a long time ago, but she was holding
on for a very long time.
There were not many cases like Julia’s where the power in the body was directly connected
to the life force, but it was not impossible.
However, all of them were recorded to have lost their lives because they could not endure
any amount of it. It was probably because after using the holy power only once, the power
leaked out.
However, according to the information he has recently obtained, there has been only one
exception.
The holy water of High Priest Kalosa, who was one of the gods’ agents, absorbed it into his
body just before his death, and completely changed the function of the body.
The high priests of hundreds of years ago in the records were those who had unparalleled
power enough to be able to communicate directly with God.
In other words, they were divine beings that couldn’t be compared with the current priests.
According to another record, it was said that the high priests, who had powers close to God,
were all slain because their powers were restrained.
There were those who thought that those with near-god powers would not have been killed
so easily.
They argued that there was a possibility that they were living in seclusion somewhere
without revealing their power because they knew the fear of their existence.
So if any of God’s agents were alive… It was a problem that could be easily solved without
even thinking about it.
The problem was that finding them would be as difficult as finding a tiny needle in the
desert. Still, he had no choice but to ask around as much as he could.
Matheus owed Julia a debt. He was obliged to do everything in his power to make sure she
was happy.
After taking a deep breath, Matheus finally reached the front of the chapel.
While the servant opened the door, someone hurriedly grabbed him.
“Matheus!”
The young priest, who took hold of his arm, trembled as if frightened.
“Grand Duke?”
Matheus asked with his eyes wide open. Sensing that something unusual had happened
instinctively, Matheus immediately turned around.
The people in the chapel who had been waiting for him tilted their heads over the door, but
leaving them behind, Matheus hurriedly moved forward.
Matheus, who followed the young priest with a bad foreboding, eventually entered the
corridor.
Even the slender woman clasped in a robe and cradled in his arms.
“… Julia.”
It was then that Matheus faintly felt the energy of Julia. It was so faint that he didn’t notice
right away.
He stood there in a disastrous state. The bloodstains on Fernan’s shirt and sleeve caught
Matheus’ eyes. Matheus felt his heart sinking in the distance and ran to them.
***
Her faintly beating heart was the only evidence that he knew she was still alive.
“… After she vomited her blood, she collapsed. She hasn’t breathed since then…. “
Fernan, who looked like he was about to die, murmured. Matheus, who was listening to him
silently, stared at her heart with a calm yet sober gaze.
Precisely, her power was trying to protect her with a thin membrane around her heart.
A very small and vague low energy that could only be felt by Matheus. It was barely
supporting her heart.
So even though her breathing stopped, only her heart was beating faintly.
“By your Holy Power, by your Holy Power… Can you try anything?”
Matheus, who raised his gaze at the desperate whisper, looked at Fernan’s shaky eyes,
losing its light.
It was his eyes that had gone through hell thousands of times while he brought her here.
Matheus lowered his hand as if to prove it. A blue healing light from his hand fell on Julia.
The light that flowed through her body disappeared into the air without penetrating into
her.
Fernan, who looked at him, bit his lips and grabbed Matheus’ shoulders.
“… ”
Matheus’ white priest’s robe was crumpled in Fernan’s strong grasp. Seeing him with
bloodshot eyes saying he would do anything, Matheus lowered his eyelids as if he was
thinking something.
Eventually, Matheus raised his head and opened his mouth with a determined face.
Currently, the power surrounding Julia’s heart was probably not going to disappear easily.
Matheus stared at Fernan’s face, who was silently waiting for him to speak.
A method that was close to impossible. However, given the position and great army the
Grand Duke had, he could foretell the possibility.
“… God’s agent?”
“Yes. They existed hundreds of years ago, but my guess is that they must be hiding
somewhere on the continent.”
Matheus took a small breath and gently grabbed his hands. And he continued with a firm
voice.
“With them, it is possible to regenerate the stopped functions of the body. Of course, they
can also restore Julia’s condition.”
At those words, Fernan’s dead eyes lit up in an instant. While he looked at Julia, Matheus’
voice continued.
“But, we can pick out where the possibilities are. Even so, it would still be broad… … ”
“Even if I have to search all over the continent, I will find him.”
The key was whether Julia could hold out until Fernan found the High Priest.
Fernan raised his head and looked at Matheus. Their eyes met in the air.
“Time will help Julia, because her god seems to be giving her her last chance for a long
time.”
“…… okay”
Fernan, who barely nodded his head, looked down at Julia again.
Holding her hand tightly with an anxious gaze, then slowly releasing it, Fernan stood up.
Still, everything was not clear. However, he did not have time to ponder and understand
this situation for a long time.