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Steffinie Brewer

Dr. Remy

PSY 2200 5B0

7 November 2021

Parenting Styles Interview

For this interview, I automatically knew that I should speak with my colleague, Lamar.

He is an emergency room RN and has been for nearly two decades. He is married and the father

to three biological children: Damion, who is a three-year-old male, Taylor, an eleven-year-old

female, and Crew, a thirteen-year-old male who is also autistic.

Regarding rules, Lamar feels it is beneficial to respect his children, while also having

some rules to ensure his children’s safety and success. He considers himself to be a rather lenient

parent, but he can be firm when it is required of him. For example, he allows his children to have

unlimited screen time, under the agreement that they do their chores and schoolwork within the

required timeframe. He discusses these rules with his children quite often. His belief is that if his

children can understand why it is expected of them, they will be more likely to obey the rules he

has for them. If any of his children were to inquire why they have a certain rule, he is open and

honest, speaking to them not as if they are below him, but as he would speak to another loved

one who is of more maturity.

When I asked Lamar how open he is to negotiating rules with his children, he hesitated

for a moment. He did ultimately say that he is open to negotiating rules, but within reason. While

he does respect his children and their wishes, he does want what is best for them. In his own

words, “sometimes children don’t know what is best for them and you need to be stern with

them, to protect their best interests”.

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Lamar uses different forms of discipline for his children because not one approach works

for all three of them. For instance, he would take technological devices away from his eleven-

year-old daughter and thirteen-year-old son, but that would, of course, not work for his three-

year-old son. For mundane events, Lamar will typically put the child in time-out, whether that be

in a time-out corner for the youngest, or a “technology time-out” for the eldest two. For more

severe instances, he will ground them. This, however, is typically reserved for the elder children,

because there is not much reason to ground a three-year-old.

When I asked him what the hardest disciplinary issue he has encountered while raising

his children he was able to give me his answer without skipping a beat. For his situation, the

most difficult thing has been individualizing; finding out what tactic works for each child. He has

learned that his children respond differently to certain discipline and has had to determine what

is the best approach for each of them.

Prior to this interview, I knew that Lamar is a very affectionate and loving father.

Regardless, I asked him his opinion of this. He agreed, saying that it is important to let people

know how important they are to you and how much you love them. His career has helped teach

him that everything in this life is temporary and that you must appreciate what you have while

you have it. In his own words, “with the stuff we see, you very quickly realize how temporary

this life is. It is a fact that we are all going to die. I am going to die; my children are going to die.

I don’t know when and I don’t know who is going to die first, so I am going to love the fuck out

of them while I have them”. One of his favorite ways to show affection to his children is through

playful teasing. Lamar recalled a time when his youngest child asked why daddy always teased

them and his eleven-year-old replied, “that’s how he shows us he loves us”.
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Lamar fully believes in allowing his children to be children, but he also knows that it will

do them no good if he babies them their entire life. He allows them to have a fun-filled

childhood, but he does treat them like they are more mature. He says that his children are more

mature than most other kids their age, specifically his eleven-year-old daughter.

When I asked about his children’s future and what he hopes to see them achieve he was

able to give me a general idea of what he hopes happens, but he ultimately wants them to be

happy in whatever they chose. However, his ideal goals for them are as follows: for his thirteen-

year-old autistic son, he truly hopes he is able to get a job somewhere and enjoy what he does.

Regarding his eleven-year-old daughter, he constantly praises her intelligence, saying that he

really believes she may be a genius and hopes that she will get into a good college, but also joked

about the fact that she could end up becoming a criminal mastermind. He did not have any

specific educational or career goals for his youngest, considering he would only be thirteen.

To no surprise, Lamar said the biggest impact on his parenting style is his job. Working

in an emergency room, or any emergency setting, you witness many things that show you how

fragile life is. During our interview, Lamar had me read an article one of his friends, who

happens to be an ER physician, wrote. It truly put into words the feelings we all have and helped

explain Lamar’s parenting techniques much more. I would highly recommend reading it, just to

get a glimpse into what life as an ER staff is like.

Lamar is very open and honest about his flaws as a parent. He says his biggest insecurity

as a parent is the lack of consistency. Given his job, he can be inconsistent in routine, and he

feels that it is important for children to have consistency. He did, however, applaud his wife for

being the more stable and consistent parent when it came to routine.
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After speaking with Lamar on a deeper level about his children and his parenting

techniques, I believe he is a mix between authoritative and permissive. At times he can be very

carefree, allowing his children to follow the flow of life, but other times (most of the time) he is

closely following behind them, trying to encourage them to make the right decisions. I know

Lamar on a professional level, and I am know getting to know him on a deeper, more personal

level. Based on what I have previously known, and what I learned during our interview, I feel

that Lamar is an excellent father who has the respect of all three of his children. I think his

parenting style is one of the best approaches, and I believe he is doing a great job at raising his

three amazing children. If you are interested in reading the aforementioned article, I will provide

the link below.

https://epmonthly.com/article/the-peephole/