IS A REMMARIED COUPLE IN CONSTANT SIN OF ADULTERY?

Wilson Fernando Dantas Soaris

Dr. Evan Lenow ETHIC 4303 B

November 18th, 2015

 IS A REMMARIED COUPLE IN CONSTANT SIN OF ADULTERY?

There are hundreds of books about divorce. One of the reasons for it, is because of the

different interpretations of the “exception clause” found in Mathew 5:32 and 19:9. Some

theologians say that divorce is permitted in the case of pornea1 but the divorced person can´t

remarry (Patristic View). Others believe that the sin of pornea gives the spouse the right to not

only divorce but to remarry (Erasmian View). Those views are just two of the many options

given by pastors to the Church members. Despite the fact that some views are more biblical than

others, there is a reality that all pastors agree with, which is that divorce is in our churches and

that it affects negatively the Body of Christ, families and the whole society.

It’s common to find marriage counselors in our congregations helping couples with

relationship problems. It’s also common to see Sunday school class for divorced people and also

counselors who will help people after they went through a divorce. But it’s no common to see

minister addressing the issue of remarriage. In the year of 2008, 33% of those who claimed to be

a born-again believer had been divorced.2 They are in our churches, involved in our activities,

having fellowship with us and participating in the Lord’s Supper. Some of them are “happily

remarried” and others not that happy. Some of the remarried ones feel guilty thinking they are in

constant sin of adultery and others are not even worried about it.

In this paper I want to talk about the status of a remarried person. Since this topic is not

1
Fornication, sexual immorality, sexual sin of a general kind. James Swanson.
Dictionary of Biblical Languages with Semantic Domains: Greek (New Testament) 1997 : Print.
2
The Barna Group, “New Marriage and Divorce Statistics Released,” accessed
November 12 2015, http://www.barna.org/family-kids-articles/42-new-marriage-and-divorce-
statistics-released.

1
 2

well addressed in our churches, I want to biblically expose the position affirming that a

divorced person who got remarried, is not in a constant sin of adultery but can be forgiven and

free from the guilt of adultery within the second marriage.

The Covenant of Marriage and the Contract of Divorce

In Genesis 2:24 God establishes the covenant of marriage and in Mathew 19:4-6, Jesus

says that God’s will for marriage, is that it should last forever. He reinforces that no one should

separate that union because God is the one bringing both of them together. In the same passage

in Mathew 19:7, where Jesus was having a conversation with the Pharisees, they asked Him:

Why did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce? His answer was simple in the

following verse (8): “Because of your hardness of heart”. He also adds: “From the beginning it

has not been this way”. According to Dr. David W. Jones “Scripture defines marriage as a

covenant, both by explicit statement (cf. Prov. 2:17; Mal. 2:14) and by repeated analogy (cf. Hos.

1:1–3:5; Eph. 5:22–33)3.

If the covenant of marriage cannot be broken, why would God, allow a man to divorce

his wife? Jesus answer was clear: “Because of your sin”. The will of God is that the covenant of

marriage should not be terminated by any means, but since He knows the human race and how

sin affected man, he permitted them to divorce. The permission by God for a man to divorce his

wife is a very key element to wrestle with, in order to know if a remarried person is in sin or not.

The people of Israel could see all the regulations Moses gave to them about divorce as

God’s approval statement to anyone (with the “right” reason) to end a marriage relationship. But

since God hates divorce (Mal 2:16) and what he hates is a sin, the certificate of divorce could

3
David W. Jones, “Potential Weaknesses of the Majority Views of Divorce and
Remarriage”. Southern Baptist Theological Seminary
 3

never be a form of permission for men to have a sinful act. Accordingly to Craig W. Booth4, the

permission to divorce was an act of God’s grace that would allow the person to commit the sin of

adultery without being executed under the criminal Law of adultery (Dt. 22:22). In another

words, it’s the mercy of God that revoked the death penalty that was applied to all who

committed the crime of adultery. After the certificate is given, the covenant of marriage with the

first wife is still valid and God still calls divorce a sin and hate it. R.H. Charles says: “Marriage

is dissoluble when there is an absolute breach of its essential condition-that is, when the husband

is disloyal to his wife or the wife to her husband, the marriage is ipso facto thereby dissolved;

and the State in issuing the decree of divorce is not putting asunder those whom God hath joined

together, but is only recognizing the already existing fact, that, by the disloyalty of either or both,

the persons in question have already put themselves asunder”5.

The dissolution of a marriage has consequences that apply to all divorced people. Some

of the consequences would be: (1) Both of them should not remarry another person. If they do

so, they would commit the sin of adultery (Luke 16:18; Mat 5:31,32; Deut 24:1-4; Jer 3:1) and

the original couple may not be reconciled (Deut 24:1-4). (2) Both of them would need to provide

for the needs of the children. Depending on the state law one or the other would assume that

responsibility (Rom 13:1-7, 1 Tim 5:8). (3) If a man remarries another wife and his original wife

is still alive, he should not have the office of a leader in the church (1 Tim 3:2, 12). (4) Divorce

also permanently weakens the family and the relationship between children and parents6.

4
Craig W. Booth, Split Asunder: Divorce and Remarriage Scripturally Explained.
(Online Book: The Faithful Word, 2002), Ch.4.
5
R H Charles. Divorce and the Roman Dogma of Nullity. (Edinburgh: T. & T. Clark,
1927), 2-3.
6
Paul R. Amato and Juliana M. Sobolewski, “The Effects of Divorce and Marital
 4

When a person gets divorced, they are separated but still have obligations as a result of

their former union. Their status would never be as someone single, or never married.

The Termination of the Covenant

As we saw in the last session, God doesn’t like divorce. He made man and woman to be

together for a lifetime. He also gave permission for a couple to be divorced in the case of pornea,

but since marriage is a covenant made for a lifetime, the divorced person should remain alone

and not remarry anybody else. The act of remarrying another person would be an act of adultery.

Now, if 40% of the divorced couples in the United States of America are remarrying7, it

means that in our churches, there are a great number of remarried couples. If remarrying is an act

of adultery, we have a huge number of confessed adulterous couples in our churches today. Can

it be possible? Can we see this reality and accept it? Or maybe to affirm that a remarried person

is in a constant sin is not exactly what the bible teaches? Dr. Russel Moore says that “the most

disturbing aspect of Southern Baptist cultural accommodation is found in the surprisingly high

numbers of those who make the trek from our baptisteries to the local divorce court”.8

The main point to discuss is if the covenant of marriage can be terminated or not.

Accordingly to Dr. Evan Lenow9, a covenant cannot be broken and if a person gets divorced and

Discord on Adult Children’s Psychological Well-Being,” American Sociological Review 66

(2001): 917.
7
Pew Research Center. Four-in-Ten Couples are Saying, “I do” Again, accessed
November 12 2015, http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2014/11/14/four-in-ten-couples-are-saying-
i-do-again/
8
Russell D. Moore, “Southern Baptist Sexual Revolutionaries”. Southwestern Journal of
Theology 49 (2006): 8
9
Affirmation made in the Christian Home class on Monday, October 19th of 2015.
 5

remarries another person, before the former spouse dies, the status of that person is “in a

constant adultery”. I may be wrong, but this is what I understood from his position. This

affirmation agrees with the patristic view of marriage and is also supported by the Church of

England as we can see it written in their proposed Canon XXXVIII: “No person who has already

been married but hose marriage has been dissolved by secular authority shall be married

according to the rights and ceremonies of the Church of England, so long as the husband or wife

to whom the person was married is still living”10.

With all due respect to my professor, I don´t believe that the covenant can´t be broken. I

do understand the view and the biblical basis, but I also see in scriptures the possibility of the

covenant to be terminated, and it is when a person remarries. R.H Charles affirms: “there is no

evidence in the Gospels of any kind to prove that marriage is indissoluble, when there is an

essential breach of the marriage vows”11.

Divorce is regulated, defined and acknowledged in the Bible and when a person is

divorced (Dt. 24:1-4), the marriage ends. However, the covenant is still valid and by not

considering the obligation of remaining single (1 Corinthians 7:10,11, Luke 16:18, Matthew

5:31,32), the sin of adultery happens in the act of remarrying (Luke 16:18, Rom 7:3). This being

said, we can affirm that the relationship of a remarried couple started in adultery but, once the

person is remarried, a new covenant takes place and a legit marriage relationship starts. God

hates divorce, but the Bible does not teach that a second marriage is illegal or not a marriage at

all. When Jesus said to the woman at the well (John 4:18) that she had 5 husbands, he meant it.

10
Hugh C. Warner. Divorce and Remarriage: What the Church Believes and Why.
(London: Allen & Unwin, 1954), 74.
11
R H Charles. Divorce and the Roman Dogma of Nullity. (Edinburgh: T. & T. Clark,
1927), 34.
 6

He said that she had 5 husbands, not 5 lovers. In fact he makes a distinction between the 5

husbands she had from the man she was with at that moment. The definition of husband that

Jesus gives to the 5 men that the Samaritan woman had before was based on a legal status.

In Luke 16:18 Jesus says that a person who takes a second wife is “marrying” her. He is

not saying that the man is entering an adulterous relationship forever. It is clear that the act of

remarrying after a legal divorce can be called a real marriage. Paul says in 2 Corinthians that a

believer should not marry an unbeliever. He says that righteousness have no partnership with

lawlessness, neither light with darkness. He continues saying that God has no harmony with

Belial, neither the temple of God with the idols. The reality is that many Christians are getting

marriage with non-believers knowing (or some times not knowing) that they are disobeying

Gods command. Their marriages started by violating God’s way, but it means that the Christian

is in constant darkness, bound to unrighteousness and in partnership with idols? How about if

this person recognize the mistake and see the wrong done by marrying a non-believer, should the

marriage be dissolved? Is the marriage not legit or real? Paul says that a Christian person married

with an unbeliever, must not divorce (1 Cor. 7:12). The relationship started wrong but after they

decided to get married, the relationship is real and legit.

The Status of a Remarried Person

The only way to define the status of a remarried person before God is by understanding

the very nature of marriage. It seems to be a contradiction, but it is not. When a divorced person

starts a relationship with another person and enter into a new marriage covenant, that person

breaks the former covenant of marriage. In the first night together with the new spouse, they are

together committing the sin of adultery, destroying what was done before and not honoring the

commitment made with the former spouse. Not only that but from now on, the divorced person
 7

that gets into the new marriage, will never be allowed to go back to the former spouse (Deut.

24:1-4). The reason for that is because a new covenant is made.

Now that a new covenant is made legal, recognized by the law, family and God, the new

couple is no longer in sin. They started their new marriage in sin, but their status now is not

single, divorced or widow, but married. As a couple they have obligations to each other,

including sexual intercourse. Instead of acting in sin each time they engage sexually, they are

doing what scriptures teaches them to do within their official marriage relationship (1 Cor. 7:4-

5). They must be faithful to each other and honor their covenant to each other. It’s also important

to remember that sexual intercourse does not make marriages. According to Craig W. Booth12,

the first sexual intercourse between the remarried couple is not the sin itself, but the act

adulterating the former marriage covenant. Sex is part of a marital relationship and also part of

the obligations within marriage, but since it’s not the essential element of marriage, it’s also not a

constant sin within the life of the remarried couple.

From Confusion to Conviction

Most of the remarried couples in our churches today don´t really know their status before

God. Some may struggle thinking that they are in constant sin and others may just feel great

knowing that they are blessed by God in their new relationship. During my research, I’ve seen so

many books encouraging people who are in their second marriage and praising the new

opportunity given by God to people coming from broken relationships. Some other material just

says things about divorce but does not address the issue of remarriage.

Should we address this topic biblically from our pulpits, discipleship meetings and

12
Craig W. Booth. Should I Divorce My Second Wife to remarry My First Wife? Online
Article: The Faithful Word, 2005). http://www.thefaithfulword.org/divorcesecondwife.html
 8

conferences? If we should, why are we not doing it? Why some many Christians don’t have the

answers for their marital situation? As I come to the end of this paper, I would like to suggest

some answers that I believe would be helpful for couples that are in a new marital relationship

other than their first spouse.

Repentance is Needed

Most of the remarried couple I know, do not consider their divorce and remarriage as acts

of sin against God. They justify their divorce by giving many reasons why they separated their

former spouse, and give many other different reasons why they got remarried. The hardest think

I’ve found is to convince them that the act of divorce is not what God desired for them (Mal.

2:16), and that the act of remarrying another person is a sinful act of adultery (1 Cor 7:10-11,

Luke 16:18, Mat 5:31-32). The reason it is hard is because many pastors and leaders do not

address this issue correctly so most remarried couples believe that the “exception clause” found

in Mathew 5:32 and 19:9 give them the right to think that everything they did was biblically

correct. It’s also hard to convince them that divorcing a person who was constantly unfaithful,

violent, absent, and abusive, was a wrong thing to do.

With a selfish focus, they will always find an excuse to justify their sin, but when the

light of Scripture shines and reveals their wrongness, repentance must take place and the result

will be a broken heart asking for forgiveness to a gracious God (Mat. 6:14-15). It’s very

important to point that repentance is not only because of the broken covenant and the act of

adultery but also because of the damaging consequences brought to the divorced spouse and

kids. Accordingly to Paul R. Amato, “Children in divorced families receive less emotional
 9

support, financial assistance, and practical help from their parents”13. Besides that, most of drug

users among youth are kids from a single parent home14.

A remarriage couple must understand biblically what they’ve done wrong, repent from

their sins, and accept Gods forgiveness.

Consequences are Real

Every sin has its consequences. We can´t avoid it and we can´t stop it. A broken covenant

is never good and it always brings pain and destruction with it. Even though a divorced person

enters into a relationship with a better person in the new marriage, there are things that will

always follow the person forever. I already mentioned the biblical consequences of a divorce

before, but I would include some practical situations that all remarried couples would need to be

very aware of. (1) The divorced person will always struggle with thoughts of failure, guilt for not

being near to the kids, and fear of not being forgiven by the children. (2) Double financial

obligations as a consequence of having two families will always be a reality. (3) The limitation

and lack of freedom to serve in the church because of testimony (1 Tim. 3:1-7), and some

limitations to work in some companies that values the family life of their employees. Besides all

of that, remarried couples must be aware of the fact that more than 50% of remarried people ends

getting divorce again15.

This being said, it doesn’t mean that the remarried couple must live a life of sadness and

13
Paul R. Amato and Alan Booth, A Generation at Risk (Cambridge, MA: Harvard
University Press, 1997), 69.
14
Hoffmann, John P. “The Community Context of Family Structure and Adolescent Drug
Use.” Journal of Marriage and Family 64 (May 2002): 314-330.
15
Darlene McRoberts, Second Marriage: The Promise and the Challenge. (Minneapolis,
Minn: Augsburg Pub. House, 1978), 55.
 10

guilt. They are forgiven and the Lord will bless and help them through their path, but they

must understand that the consequences are real.

Learn the Lesson and Move On

Most of divorced couples would do things different if they had the chance to go back in

time. Things they’ve said or done would be said in another way or not said at all, but the reality

is: They can´t go back to change what is already done. Now they find themselves in a new

relationship, and as we´ve said before, it didn´t started based on God’s plan and will, but it’s real

and legit. What to do? Learn the lesson and move on. The mistakes made in the past do not have

to be repeated. The pain and consequences already present, doesn’t need to be increased. God

wants to bless his children and the mistakes made in the past, stay in the past and should help the

new couple to pay more attention in God’s commands and instructions for their life together.

Conclusion

A remarried couple is not in a constant sin of adultery. They committed the mistake of

divorcing, they disobeyed the ordinance of being single after the divorce and they committed

adultery by remarry another person before their former spouse dies. All of this is true, but when

they started a new marriage, the new covenant terminates the old one and releases them to be in a

normal marriage relationship without the guilt of sin committed in the past.

This paper is not supporting divorce and remarriage. God never intended marriage to end

in a divorce and He wants a couple to remain marriage for a lifetime. But since divorce and

remarriage is a reality in our churches, this paper is giving biblical answers for them to know

how God sees them and how they can be free from guilt.
 Bibliography

Charles, R H. Divorce and the Roman Dogma of Nullity. Edinburgh: T. & T. Clark, 1927.

Warner, Hugh C. Divorce and Remarriage: What the Church Believes and Why. London: Allen
& Unwin, 1954.

McRoberts, Darlene. Second Marriage: The Promise and the Challenge. Minneapolis: Augsburg
Pub. House, 1978.

Amato, Paul R. and Sobolewski, Juliana, “The Effects of Divorce and Marital Discord on Adult
Children’s Psychological Well-Being,” American Sociological Review 66 (2001): 917.

Amato, Paul R. and Booth, Alan. A Generation at Risk. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University
Press, 1997.

Hoffmann, John P. “The Community Context of Family Structure and Adolescent Drug
Use.” Journal of Marriage and Family 64 (2002): 314-330.

Booth, Craig W. Split Asunder: Divorce and Remarriage Scripturally Explained. Online Book:
The Faithful Word, 2002.

Pew Research Center. “Four-in-Ten Couples are Saying “I do” Again,” accessed November 12
2015, http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2014/11/14/four-in-ten-couples-are-saying-i-do-
again/

Booth, Craig W. “Should I Divorce My Second Wife to remarry My First Wife?” Online Article:
The Faithful Word, 2005. http://www.thefaithfulword.org/divorcesecondwife.html

Swanson, James, Dictionary of Biblical Languages with Semantic Domains: Greek (new
Testament). Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc, 1997.

The Barna Group, “New Marriage and Divorce Statistics Released,” Accessed Nov 12 2015,
http://www.barna.org/family-kids-articles/42-new-marriage-and-divorce-statistics-released.

Jones, David W. “Potential Weaknesses of the Majority Views of Divorce and Remarriage”.
Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

Moore, Russell D. “Southern Baptist Sexual Revolutionaries”. Southwestern Journal of Theology

49 (2006): 8

11