I Love A Piano - Perusal

Page 1
I LOVE A PIANO
MUSIC AND LYRICS BY
IRVING BERLIN
CONCEIVED AND WRITTEN BY
RAY RODERICK
&
MICHAEL BERKELEY
Roderick, Berkeley
Page 2
I LOVE A PIANO
I LOVE A PIANO is the celebration of the music and lyrics of Irving Berlin. It follows the
journey of a piano as it moves in and out of American lives from the turn-of-the-century
to the present. Most people have known and have had some kind of a relationship with
a piano in their lifetime. A piano, however, rarely remains in one place for seventy
years. It moves. It sees a lot. It brings people together during times in their lives when
they are the happiest, saddest, proudest, loneliest, closest, most romantic. This is the
story of one piano’s experience; of the people it touches; of the lives it shares.
All the characters are played by six actors, who retain their identity and names
throughout the journey, even though they are, in fact, playing different people in
different time periods.
I LOVE A PIANO is a tribute to the man, who, according to Jerome Kern, "...has no
place in American music. He is American music.”
Page 3
CAST OF CHARACTERS
ALEX Mature, charming and sophisticated, the Authority

Figure.
SADIE Mature and savvy with an earthy kind of

sophistication. Eve Arden-type.
GEORGE Handsome, romantic, playful. Tries to be suave and

worldly. Fails.
GINGER Brassy, wisecracking June Allison-type.
JIM Young, enthusiastic, happy-go-lucky optimist.

Athletic.
EILEEN Young Judy Garland-type. Naive, romantic,

vulnerable, yet spunky.
Page 4
MUSICAL NUMBERS
ACT I
1. (OVERTURE) I LOVE A PIANO Orchestra
2. LET ME SING AND I'M HAPPY Eileen, Alex, Jim
3. PLAY A SIMPLE MELODY Alex, Eileen, Jim,
Ginger, George
4. A PRETTY GIRL IS LIKE A MELODY Men
5. SNOOKY OOKUMS Women
6. WHEN THE MIDNIGHT CHOO-CHOO
LEAVES FOR ALABAM George, All
7. ALEXANDER'S RAGTIME BAND Ginger, All
8. PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL George
9. EVERYBODY STEP Alex, All
10. EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT All
11. (DANCE BREAK) MANDY All
12. THEY CALL IT DANCING George
13 (REPRISE) PACK UP YOUR SINS
AND GO TO THE DEVIL All
14. (SILENT MOVIE MUSIC, PIANO) Jim, All
15. BLUE SKIES Jim, Eileen
16. ALL BY MYSELF Jim
17. ISN’T IT A LOVELY DAY Ginger, George
18. RUSSIAN LULLABY Sadie
19. TWO CHEERS, INSTEAD OF THREE Alex, All
20. I'VE GOT MY LOVE TO KEEP ME WARM All
21. (REPRISE) BLUE SKIES All
22. I'M STEPPIN' OUT WITH MY BABY Jim, George
23. TOP HAT, WHITE TIE AND TAILS Alex
24. PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ Jim
25. CHEEK TO CHEEK All
26. LET'S FACE THE MUSIC Alex, All
27. (DANCE) LET'S HAVE ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE. All
28. LET YOURSELF GO Ginger, ALL
29. CHANGE PARTNERS Jim, Sadie, All
30. (REPRISE) CHEEK TO CHEEK All
31. THE BEST THINGS HAPPEN WHILE YOU DANCE All
32. (DANCE) THE BEST THINGS HAPPEN
WHILE YOU DANCE Jim, Eileen, All
33. SAY IT ISN'T SO Ginger
34. (DANCE INTERLUDE) BEST THINGS… Jim, Eileen
35. HOW DEEP IS THE OCEAN? George, All
36. ALWAYS All
37. OH, HOW I HATE TO GET UP IN THE MORNING Jim
38. THIS IS THE ARMY All (except Jim)
Page 5
(MUSICAL NUMBERS CONT’D)

39. I'M GETTING TIRED SO I CAN SLEEP George, All (except Jim)
40. I LEFT MY HEART AT THE STAGE DOOR CANTEEN Jim, Eileen
41. ANY BONDS TODAY Sadie, Women
42. WHAT'LL I DO? Eileen
43. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS INSTEAD OF SHEEP Alex
44. WHITE CHRISTMAS Jim, All
45. GOD BLESS AMERICA Sadie, All
ACT II
46. (ENTR' ACT) I LOVE A PIANO Orchestra
47. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH ALL THE JEEPS? Ginger
48. WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A GENERAL? Alex
49. GEE, I WISH I WAS BACK IN THE ARMY Jim, George,
Eileen, Ginger
50. SUPPERTIME Sadie
51. WE'RE A COUPLE OF SWELLS Jim, Eileen
52. EASTER PARADE Jim, Eileen, All
53. LET'S GO SLUMMIN’ Jim, Eileen
54. LAZY Alex, George, Ginger
54.5 The Girl That I Marry George
55. THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS Sadie
56. THEY SAY IT'S WONDERFUL Eileen, George
57. ANYTHING YOU CAN DO Ginger, George,
Eileen, Sadie
58. I GOT LOST IN HIS ARMS Ginger, Eileen,
Sadie
59. THE BEST THING FOR YOU Ginger, Eileen, Sadie
60. YOU'RE JUST IN LOVE Alex, Sadie
61. OLD FASHIONED WEDDING George, Ginger
62. (REPRISE) THERE’S NO BUSINESS
LIKE SHOW BUSINESS All
63. (FINALE) I LOVE A PIANO Ginger, All
64. (BOWS) I LOVE A PIANO All
Page 6
SYNOPSIS
ACT I
OVERTURE/PROLOGUE, PRESENT DAY
Scene 1: ALEXANDER’S MUSIC SHOP, EARLY TEENS
Scene 2: A PARLOR, LATE TEENS
Scene 3: A SPEAKEASY, 1920’S
Scene 4: STREET IN NEW YORK CITY, EARLY 1930’S
Scene 5: A MOVIE THEATER, MIDDLE 1930’S
Scene 6: A DANCE HALL, LATE 1930’S
Scene 7: STAGE DOOR CANTEEN, THE WAR YEARS
ACT II
Scene 1: STAGE DOOR CANTEEN, POST-WAR
Scene 2: A JUNK YARD, EARLY 1950'S
Scene 3: A SUMMER STOCK THEATER, LATE 1950'5
FINALE/BOWS, PRESENT DAY
Page 7
ACT I
PROLOGUE, PRESENT DAY
Preset: As we enter the theatre, we see four large projection screens
framed by simple architecture. The eight-piece orchestra is upstage,
between the two center screens. A small turn-of-the-century upright
piano is Center Stage in a pool of light. This is the kind of Piano on which
we might imagine Irving Berlin writing his first song.
(Projections: Ribbon of piano keys)
House lights to half
(Projections: Kodilith of logo added to center screens)
House lights out as stage goes to black except for Pool Of light on piano.
(OVERTURE: "I LOVE A PIANO")

We hear the sound of a one-finger-melody being plunked out as if it is
coming from our piano. The left hand joins in and 3 PIANO MOVERS,
dressed in coveralls and contemporary hats, enter from SR and cross to
the Piano.
PIANO MOVER (GEORGE)

Hey, be careful with the ol' girl. New owner searched high and low for this baby…She
loves this piano.
PIANO MOVER (JIM)
Well, one man’s junk is another man’s treasure.
PIANO MOVER (GINGER)
(Pointing to sticker on back of piano)
Been around, that’s for sure. “Alexander’s Music Shoppe. 1910”
ALL look
PIANO MOVERS (GEORGE)

She’s almost a hundred years old.
PIANO MOVER (JIM)
Wow, this piano has seen a lot. Think of all the stories it could tell. 1910.
PIANO MOVER (GINGER)
That’s a lot of stories.
PIANO MOVER (JIM)
That’s a lot of music.
Hey, Tchaikowski---
PIANO MOVER (JIM)
Just Think…Just imagine…
Page 8

Just push.
PIANO MOVERS move piano off L1. The trombone kicks in the onstage
Dixieland Band as the lights reveal our musicians, and our OVERTURE is
off and running full steam.
Page 9
ACT I
SCENE 1
ALEXANDER’S MUSIC SHOP, 1910

(Projections: interior window of a second floor turn-of-the-century music
shop.)
Stage lights up as OVERTURE continues. ALEX, the proprietor of this

1910 music shop, enters from UR. He is a bit pompous and a bit edgy,
but he is always likable. As he enters, he sets up shop. He brings on a
rack of sheet music from L. From R, he brings on a counter, on which sits
an ornate, old-fashioned cash register and a candlestick telephone.
Behind the counter is a simple bent wood chair. Musical instruments and
various signs dress the stage or are part of the projections. A sign on the
counter reads: Ukuleles $6. A sign on the music rack reads: All Sheet
Music 10¢. PIANO MOVERS, now dressed in coveralls with 1914 hats,
enter with piano from L. ALEX guides them to C with piano. He pays
them and they exit SL. ALEX crosses past the front of the piano during a
musical break in the OVERTURE and casually echoes a phrase of "I
LOVE A PIANO". There’s a broken note. He realizes this as he crosses
to the counter. He quickly turns around and crosses back to the piano.
The OVERTURE comes to an abrupt end as ALEX bangs sour note three
times on piano
ALEX
(To movers off stage)
Hey get back here. The Piano – It’s got a broken note! I paid for 88 keys not 87 and
a…
ALEX bangs the bad note 3 more times.
…half! How am I gonna sell sheet music with this worthless piece of junk!
(To piano)
Oh, I’m sorry. Don’t take it personally. It’s not you. It’s me. I’m very stressed. I’m
going broke trying to keep up with the competition. You cost a pretty penny.
EILEEN, a song hawker, enters from L1. She's a little flustered. It is her
first day of work and she's late. ALEX, unaware of her arrival, continues
talking to the piano. EILEEN becomes aware that he talking about her
and crosses to him with confidence.
And now I’m spending my last dime to hire a song hawker. You know how much the get
second rate warbler who can barley croak out a tune?
EILEEN
One dollar.
ALEX
Huh?
EILEEN
One dollar a day, plus lunch money and trolley fare.
Page 10
ALEX
You must be
EILEEN
(Handing him her card)
Eileen McGuire, from the Cohen agency. I sing to a high C, And I know all the popular
music, And I'm equally comfortable in all styles. And---
ALEX
And you're late.
EILEEN
Yes, yes, but you see I missed my trolley car and the agency, well they gave me the
wrong address so had to walk an extra five
ALEX
(Taking music from JIM and handing it to Eileen)
You sell a song in ten minutes, you can keep Your job.
EILEEN
But I haven’t even warmed up yet.
ALEX plays chord on the piano.
(#2: "LET ME SING AND I'M HAPPY")

EILEEN
LET ME SING A FUNNY SONG
WITH CRAZY WORDS
THAT ROLL ALONG
AND IF MY SONG CAN START YOU LAUGHIN'
I’M HAPPY
ALEX
Happy, Happy, Happy!
EILEEN
HAPPY!!
LET ME SING A SAD REFRAIN
OF BROKEN HEARTS
THAT LOVED IN VAIN
AND IF MY SONG CAN START YOU CRYIN'
I'M
ALEX AND EILEEN
HAPPY
She stalks JIM in a tango style around the piano.
LET ME CROON
A LOW-DOWN BLUES
TO LIFT YOU OUTTA YOUR SEAT
AND IF MY SONG
CAN REACH YOUR SHOES
Page 11
AND START YA TAPPIN' YOUR FEET

She jumps on top of piano.
I'M HAPPY!
LET ME SING OF DIXIE’S CHARMS
OF SWANEE SHORES
AND MOTHER'S ARMS
AND IF MY SONG CAN MAKE YOU HOMESICK I'M
EILEEN grabs JIM by the collar and pulls him toward her.
JIM
(Shyly)
HAPPY
EILEEN
AND IF MY SONG CAN
ALEX
START YA LAUGHIN'
I'M---
EILEEN
START YA CRYIN'
ALEX
SET YA TAPPIN'
I'M---
EILEEN
MAKE YA HOMESICK I'M
EILEEN, ALEX AND JIM
HAPPY!!
GINGER AND GEORGE Enter L1. EILEEN jumps off piano and crosses
to GINGER and GEORGE handing them sheet music to "Simple Melody"
(#3: "PLAY A SIMPLE MELODY")

EILEEN
DOODLE OO DOOT
DOO DOODLE OODLE OO DOOT
DOO DOODLE OODLE OO DOO
JIM AND ALEX
(Looking at new sheet music)
DOOT DOOT DOOT
DOODLE OO DOO
DOOT DOOT DOOT
DOODLE OO DOOT DOO DOOT
DOODLE OO DOOT DOO DOOT!
ETC.
Page 12
ALEX and JIM continue 'DOOTS' with GINGER and GEORGE’S counter
melody.
EILEEN
WON'T YOU PLAY A SIMPLE MELODY
LIKE MY MOTHER PLAYED FOR ME
ALL
ONE WITH GOOD OLD-FASHIONED HARMONY
PLAY A SIMPLE MELODY
ALEX
(Picking up sheet music from top of piano)
Here’s a new one, hot off the press.
(#4: "A PRETTY GIRL IS LIKE A MELODY")
ALEX begins to play "PRETTY GIRL" on the piano, as the others gather
'round.
GEORGE
(Indicating he'd like to try the piano.)
May I?
ALEX
Why certainly, sir.
GEORGE takes over at the keyboard and plays an arpeggio.
GEORGE
You got a broken note here.
ALEX
I know.
SADIE enters from L1. She is a stylish, mature Eve Arden type. She has
been shopping and is loaded down with boxes. Music continues under
dialogue.
SADIE
You people ever hear of an elevator?! My dogs are BARKIN'! I haven’t got much time.
What have ya got in a size seven? Triple E.
ALEX
Oh no, Ma'm, this isn't a shoe
SADIE
Preferably one of your sale items.
ALEX
Novelty Songs are two for one.
SADIE
(Pulling hat out of hat box)
They've got to match this.
Page 13
ALEX
Madame! This isn’t a shoe store! It’s a music store! We sell music…Songs.
SADIE
(Realizing)
Well, songs I don’t need.
She starts to exit. EILEEN hands music to ALEX.
ALEX
A PRETTY GIRL
SADIE
What, are you going to sing to me?
ALEX
IS LIKE A MELODY
SADIE
He's going to sing to me. (SADIE laughs)
ALEX
THAT HAUNTS YOU NIGHT AND DAY
SADIE
I ain’t fallin’ for it, Mister Caruso.
ALEX
JUST LIKE THE STRAIN
SADIE
Nope.
OF A HAUNTING REFRAIN
SADIE
Not buyin’.
ALEX
SHE'LL START UPON
A MARATHON
AND RUN AROUND YOUR
SADIE
Watch it buster.
ALEX
BRAIN
GEORGE
(To GINGER)
YOU CAN'T ESCAPE
SHE'S IN YOUR MEMORY
BY MORNING NIGHT AND NOON
Page 14
JIM
(A la Ziegfield Irish tenor, JIM dips Eileen)
SHE WILL LEAVE YOU
AND THEN
COME BACK AGAIN
SADIE
How much did you say this costs?
MEN
A PRETTY GIRL
IS JUST LIKE A PRETTY TUNE
EILEEN
Ladies, you’re gonna love this one.
(#5: "SNOOKY OOKUMS")
EILEEN
ALL DAY LONG HE CALLS HER SNOOKY OOKUMS
SADIE AND GINGER
SNOOKY OOKUMS?
EILEEN
ALL THEY DO IS TALK LIKE BABIES
SHE'S HIS
SADIE
JELLY ELLY ROLL
EILEEN
HE'S HER--
GINGER
SUGY UGER BOWL
EILEEN
HERE'S THE WAY THEY BILL AND COO:
SADIE & GINGER
POOGY WOO?
EILEEN
POOGY WOO
SADIE & GINGER
POOGY WOO
WOMEN
ALL NIGHT LONG HE CALLS HER
SNOOKY OOKUMS
SNOOKY OOKUMS
ALL NIGHT LONG THE NEIGHBORS SHOUT:
"CUT IT OUT!
Page 15
(In the MEN’S ears)

CUT IT OUT!
MEN
CUT IT OUT!!"
WOMEN
THEY CRY, "FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
DON’T KEEP US ALL AWAKE
WITH YOUR SNOOKY OOKY OOKUMS
BABY TALK!"
ALEX flips up sheet music for a new song. We can read the title on the
cover. He sings.
(#6: “WHEN THE MIDNIGHT CHOO-CHOO LEAVES FOR ALABAM'”)

MEN
WHEN THAT MIDNIGHT CHOO-CHOO LEAVES FOR ALABAM'
EILEEN flips up identical copy of sheet music and for WOMEN to sing
backup.
WOMEN
ALABAM'! ALABAM'!
MEN
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE
I'VE GOT MY FARE
SADIE & GINGER
I'VE GOT MY FARE!
MEN
WHEN THAT HEAD CONDUCTOR SAYS, "COME ON LET'S GO!"
WOMEN
LET'S GO!
MEN
I'LL GRAB HIM BY THE COLLAR
AND I'LL HOLLER
ALL
"ALABAM'! ALABAM'!"
ALL WOMEN
(Having the time of his life)
THAT’S WHERE YOU STOP YOUR TRAIN OOOOOOOO.
THAT TAKES ME BACK AGAIN
DOWN HOME WHERE I'LL REMAIN
WHERE MY HONEY LAMB
AM
Page 16
Caught up in the fun of the song, the men lift the ladies onto the piano.
They spin it around, as it becomes a "Steam Locomotive”. The piano
ends up facing downstage
ALL
I WILL BE RIGHT THERE WITH BELLS
MEN
WHEN THAT OL’ CONDUCTOR YELLS
MEN
ALL ABOARD!
WOMEN
ALL ABOARD!
ALL
ALL ABOARD FOR ALA—
ALABAM'
ALABAM'
ALABAM’ MY HONEY LAMB MY HONEY
(#7: "ALEXANDER’S RAGTIME BAND")
ALL
(In tintype tableau around Piano)
OH, MA HONEY
OH, MA HONEY
BETTER HURRY AND LET'S MEANDER
AIN'T YA GOIN'?
AIN'T YA GOIN’?
TO THE LEADER MAN?
RAGGED METER MAN?
OH MA HONEY
OH MA HONEY
LET ME TAKE YOU TO ALEXANDER’S GRAND STAND
BRASS BAND
AIN'T YA COMIN’ ALONG?
The music shop has come alive with singing and dancing. GINGER and
GEORGE discuss transaction to buy piano with ALEX as everyone
continues to sing, purchasing sheet music at counter SR. Eileen is
ringing the cash register in rhythm.
OH, MA HONEY
OH, MA HONEY
BETTER HURRY AND LET’S MEANDER
AIN'T YA GOIN'?
AIN'T YA GOIN'?
TO THE LEADER MAN?
RAGGED METER MAN?
Page 17
OH MA HONEY
OH MA HONEY
LET ME TAKE YOU TO ALEXANDER’S GRAND STAND
BRASS BAND
AIN’T YA COMIN’ ALONG?
ALL exit, leaving GINGER sitting at the piano, alone in her parlor.
(Projections: Street in Brooklyn. Manhattan skyline in background.

Windows in townhouse light up on outside screens.)
Page 18
ACT I
SCENE 2, A PARLOR, 1918
(Projections: Brooklyn street exterior with second floor window lighted)
GINGER is alone at piano practicing the verse we've just heard. It is

several years later, 1918, and she is struggling with both the piano and
vocal part. She sings a few bars as she plays a one-finger melody slowly
and deliberately on the piano.
GINGER
OH, MA HONEY
OH, MA HONEY
There are five loud pounds on her ceiling from the person who lives
upstairs. The sound actually comes from the orchestra. She looks up
and then starts over, this time a little more quietly.
(Projections: Third floor window is lighted and then goes out.)

OH, MA HONEY
OR, MA HONEY
There are five more pounds from upstairs. Once again, she starts over,
this time singing in a whisper.
(Projections: Third floor window is lighted and then goes out.)

OH, MA HONEY
OH, MA HONEY
GEORGE, her husband, enters from L3 and crosses to her at piano, CS.
GEORGE
(Pointing up)
Shhh!
GINGER
It’s not ten o'clock yet.
GEORGE
(Pulling out watch)
It’s Ten o’one. You know the rule, no noise after Ten O’clock.
GINGER
(Defiantly)
It’s not noise, George. It’s music.
Ginger plunks the piano and hits the bad notes.
Page 19
GEORGE
Shh!
GINGER
(Whispering at first)
But George, the Victory Bond Rally, it’s next Sunday. I’ve got to practice. There’ll be
thousands of people standing outside that band shell. All eyes will be on me, George. I
can’t let them down. I’ve got to practice!
GEORGE
But we promised Mrs. Bellini we wouldn’t play the piano after ten o'clock at night.
GEORGE GINGER
And a promise is a promise. I know you But George, if I don't practice now
have to practice but you have to I'll never have enough time.
be more respectful of the neighbors. The concert is only two days away.
Mrs. Bellini is a very sweet lady— And George, you know how much
this means to me—
There are five more loud pounds from upstairs. They look up. They look
to each other. GEORGE sits down at the piano and begins to play loudly
for GINGER. They sing defiantly towards the ceiling top of their lungs.
GINGER AND GEORGE

OH, MA HONEY
OH, MA HONEY
AIN'T YA GOIN'?
AIN'T YA GOIN'?
TO THE LEADER MAN?
RAGGED METER MAN?
OH MA HONEY
OH MA HONEY
GEORGE grabs hat from on top of piano and puts it on. He escorts
GINGER around piano and to DC. He takes his place at piano as ALEX,
SADIE, JIM and EILEEN enter as GINGER'S backup. We are now at her
performance at the Victory Bond Rally.
(Projections: Central Park bandstand with crowd.)

LET ME TAKE YOU TO ALEXANDER’S
GRAND STAND
BRASS BAND
GEORGE
(While she’s still singing)
You’ll be singin’ in front of a thousand people!!!
GINGER
AIN'T YA COMIN' ALONG?
GEORGE plays arpeggio, as a hard-edged white spotlight hits GINGER.
She’s like a deer in headlights at first.
Page 20
(Projections: Close-up of Bandstand architecture and foliage)
GINGER
COME ON AND HEAR
COME ON AND HEAR
ALEXANDER’S RAGTIME …
GEORGE
(Prompting her)
Band.
GINGER
…BAND
COME ON AND HEAR
COME ON AND HEAR
IT’S THE BEST BAND IN THE LAND
ALL begin to Pulse. GINGER’S becoming more comfortable.
THEY CAN PLAY A BUGLE CALL
LIKE YOU NEVER HEARD BEFORE
SO NATURAL THAT YOU WANNA GO TO WAR
THAT'S JUST THE BESTEST BAND WHAT AM
MY HONEY LAMB!
Tempo begins to pick up.
COME ON ALONG
COME ON ALONG
LET ME TAKE YOU BY THE HAND
UP TO THE MAN
UP TO THE MAN
WHO'S THE LEADER OF THE BAND
AND IF YOU CARE TO HEAR THAT SWANEE RIVER
PLAYED IN RAGTIME
COME ON AND HEAR
COME ON AND HEAR
ALEXANDER'S RAGTIME—
The band cuts out for 64 bars of a cappella. GINGER conducts the
others who impersonate instruments, becoming a 'Dixieland Band'.
ALEXANDER is the tuba, SADIE the triangle, GEORGE at the piano
snaps his fingers, JIM the banjo and EILEEN the percussion. GINGER,
now in complete control, scats on the second chorus.
GINGER
AND IF YOU
CARE TO HEAR THAT SWANEE RIVER
ALL
PLAYED IN RAGTIME
GINGER
COME ON AND HEAR
Page 21
ALL
COME ON AND HEAR
GINGER
COME ON AND HEAR
ALL
COME ON AND HEAR
GINGER
COME ON AND HEAR
ALL
COME ON AND HEAR
GINGER
COME ON AND HEAR
ALL
COME ON AND HEAR
ALEXANDER'S RAGTIME
GINGER ALL
BAND ---------------- WON'T YOU PLAY
A SIMPLE MELODY
ALL
LIKE ALEXANDER'S RAGTIME
DOODLE DOO DOO DOO DOOT
During applause and in silhouette they celebrate GINGER'S success.
Everyone exits, leaving GEORGE and the piano on stage in a pool of light
as the projections change.
Page 22
ACT 1
SCENE 3, A SPEAKEASY, 1920’S
GEORGE remains on stage, as the others exit, revealing him in a straw
boater and holding a megaphone, doing his best Rudy Valley
impersonation.
(Projections: Through the course of the first verse of "PACK UP YOUR

SINS...” the projections begin with a color wash and then to a variety of
images showing us the outrageous world of the 1920's; flag pole sitting,
wing walkers, flappers, swallowing goldfish, telephone booth stuffed with
people, scenes of wealth, decadence, prohibition, etc.)
(#8: “PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL”)

GEORGE
PACK UP YOUR SINS
AND GO TO THE DEVIL IN HADES
YOU’LL MEET THE FINEST OF GENTLEMEN
AND THE FINEST OF LADIES
THEY'D RATHER BE DOWN BELOW THAN UP ABOVE
HADES IS FULL OF THOUSANDS OF
JONESES AND BROWNS AND HOULIHANS COHENS AND BRADYS
YOU'LL HEAR A HEAVENLY TUNE THAT WENT TO THE DEVIL
BECAUSE THE JAZZ BAND
THEY STARTED PICKIN' IT
THEN PUT A TRICK IN IT
A JAZZY KICK IN IT
THEY'VE GOT A COUPLE OF OLD REFORMERS IN HEAVEN
MAKIN' 'EM GO TO BED AT ELEVEN
PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL
AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO GO TO BED AT ALL
IF YOU CARE TO DWELL WHERE THE WEATHER IS HOT

H-E-DOUBLE-L IS A HE’LL OF A SPOT
IF YOU NEED A REST AND YOU’RE ALL OUT OF SORTS
HADES IS THE BEST
OF THE WINTER RESORTS
PARADISE DOESN’T COMPARE
ALL THE NICE PEOPLE ARE THERE
THEY COME FROM EVERYWHERE JUST TO REVEL
WITH MISTER DEVIL
NOTHIN’ ON HIS MIND BUT A COUPLE OF HORNS

SATAN IS A WAITIN’ WITH HIS JAZZ BAND
AND HIS BAND
CAME FROM ALABAM’
WHITH A MELODY HOT
Page 23
NO ONE GIVES A DAMN IF IT’S MUSIC OR NOT

SATAN’S MELODY MAKES YOU WANNA DANCE FOREVER
AND YOU’LL NEVER HAVE TO GO TO BED AT ALL
During this next verse, GEORGE continues to sing in a presentational
style, as the world of a 1920’s prohibition speak easy materializes around
him. ALEXANDER, the owner of the speakeasy, runs in from R and
moves the Piano from C to DR. SADIE enters from R, brings on a piano
stool, places it at the piano and begins to Play. GINGER enters from UL
with a cigarette holder the tango, by herself and headed toward
GEORGE, across the upper level from L to R. All are now dressed in the
outrageous fashions of the day.
(Projections: During this next verse, as some of the others begin to

establish the scene, the projections change to the Interior of a 1920’s
prohibition speaks easy. Montage of bottles and windows and interior
gates.)
PACK UP YOUR SINS
SADIE enters R1 with Carpet bag and piano stool
SADIE
(To George)
Where's the hooch?
ALEX
(Pulling the piano DR)
Shhh!
GEORGE
YOU’LL MEET THE FINEST OF GENTLEMEN
GINGER
(In a dip with George)
Where’s the hooch?
ALEX
Shhh!
SADIE sits at piano and plays.
GEORGE
THEY’D RATHER BE DOWN BELOW THAN UP ABOVE
(To ALEX, breaking his presentation for a moment)
Where's the hooch?
GEORGE
ALEX
Shhh!
Page 24
GEORGE
(Whispers)
JONESES AND BROWNS AND HOULIHANS
COHENS AND BRADYS
ALEX
(Crossing DC, interrupting GEORGE)
Psssst!
ALEX ushers SADIE and GINGER and GEORGE DC. They join him.
(Whispers)
The hooch is here.
(Enjoying the secret "code words")
"The Piano's been tuned."
ALL
Ohh!...Huh?
They don't get it. He lays it on thick.
ALEX
"The piano has been tuned”
ALL
(Look to each other quizzically)
What?
ALEX
(Crossing to piano in frustration and pulling out liquor from top of piano)
The Hooch is in the piano!!!
ALL
(To ALEX)
Ahhh!
JIM, with EILEEN on his arm, enters from L2 with Ukulele and mimes
knocking on a "door" UC. Five knocks are heard from the pit. ALEX puts
liquor back in piano. They become "nonchalant" around the piano.
ALEX
Who's there?
JIM
Joe sent me.
ALEX
Don't know no Joe.
JIM
Frank sent me.
ALEX
Don't know no Frank.
JIM
Louie sent me?
Page 25
ALEX
Nope.
EILEEN
(Shoving JIM aside)
What’s your name mister?
ALEX
Al.
EILEEN
Al sent me!
ALEX
Why didn't ya say so, Come on in.
JIM and EILEEN now burst in singing and dancing as the tempo picks up.
The others watch in amazement as the young couple brings energy to the
room.
(Projections: Liquor bottles)
(#9: “EVERYBODY STEP”)

ALEX
EV’RYBODY STEP
TO THE SYNCOPATED RHYTHM
LET’S BE GOIN’ WITH ‘EM
WHEN THEY BEGIN
YOU’LL BE SAYIN’ “YESSIR

THE BAND IS GRAND”
HE’S THE BEST PROFESSOR
IN ALL THE LAND
LISTEN TO THE PEP

THAT EMERGES
FROM MIDDLE
OF THE JAZZY FIDDLE
UNDER HIS CHIN
OH WHAT MUSIC
THE CLARINETTER
COULD NOT BE BETTER
HEAR THAT STRAIN

I DON’T KNOW JUST WHAT IT IS
BUT IT’S GREAT
THEY SIMPLY RUIN IT
LOOK AT ‘EM DOIN’ IT
COME COME
Page 26
DON’T HESITATE
EVERYBODY STEP
IF YOU WANT TO SEE A GLUTTON
WHEN IT COMES TO STRUTTIN’
OVER THE GROUND
ALEX dances with EILEEN, JIM’S jealous.
WAIT’LL YA SEE
MY LITTLE SWEETIE AND ME
STEP STEP STEPPIN’ A
Dance “echo”
STEP STEP STEPPIN’ A ROUND
MUSIC BREAK ALEX dances with Eileen
WAIT’LL YA SEE
MY LITTLE SWEETIE AND ME
STEP STEP STEPPIN’ A
STEP STEP STEPPIN’ A ROUND

GEORGE grabs EILEEN and takes her away from ALEX.
(#10: "EVERYBODY’S DOIN' IT")

GEORGE
(Grabbing EILEEN)
EVERYBODY’S DOIN' IT
DOIN' IT
DOIN' IT
EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT
DOIN' IT
DOIN' IT
SEE THAT RAGTIME COUPLE OVER THERE
WATCH THEM THROW THEIR SHOULDERS IN THE AIR
SNAP THEIR FINGERS
I DECLARE!
IT'S A BEAR!
EILEEN
IT'S A BEAR!
BOTH
IT'S A BEAR!
They all can't help but show each other the latest, most outrages dance
crazes of the day.
SADIE
Page 27
DOIN’ IT
DOIN' IT
DOIN’ IT
DOIN' IT
AIN'T THAT MUSIC TOUCHIN' YOUR HEART
HEAR THAT TROMBONE BUSTIN’ APART
COME COME COME COME
LET US START
SADIE bumps into GINGER, who crosses DS, JIM hand Ukulele to her.
SADIE
ALL
JIM
EVERYBODY’S DOIN’ IT
JIM & EILEEN
DOIN' IT
DOIN’ IT
EVERYBODY’S DOIN’ IT
ALL
DOIN’ WHAT?
GINGER
TURKEY TROT!
ALL
SEE THAT RAGTIME COUPLE OVER THERE
WATCH THEM THROW THEIR SHOULDERS IN THE AIR
SNAP THEIR FINGERS
I DECLARE!
JIM/GINGER
ALL
ALL
Charleston!
(#11: "MANDY", DANCE BREAK)

All join in and now dance as three Couples for the first time, using a
variety of popular dance styles from the 1920's.
Page 28
(#12: "THEY CALL IT DANCING")

GEORGE
YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS JUST A WEE LITTLE THING
A MAN NEVER SQUEEZED A GIRL
TILL SHE GOT THE RING
THEY WERE BOTH ENGAGED BEFORE THE BOY TOOK A CHANCE
BUT NOW ALL HE HAS TO DO IS ASK HER TO DANCE
The couples continue to dance. GEORGE steps down front. GINGER is
still dancing with her imaginary 'GEORGE'.
THEY CALL IT DANCING
YOU SEE THEM CUDDLED UP TIGHT
THEY'RE ONLY DANCING
SO EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT
UNTIL THE MIDNIGHT CABARET CLOSES
YOU CAN SEE HE AND SHE RUBBING NOSES
SHE CALLS HIM MISTER

THEY’RE ONLY FRIENDS IT APPEARS
AND THEN HE'LL TWIST HER
LIKE THEY'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR YEARS
A MAN CAN SQUEEZE ALL THE SHES
WITH HIS ARMS AND HIS KNEES
AND THEY CALL IT DANCING
THAT’S ALL
Dance Break
IF IT'S A BALLROOM
SHE DOESN'T MIND HIS EMBRACE
BUT IN A HALLROOM
SHE'D SLAP HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE
A MAN CAN GRAB SOMEONE'S WIFE
HAVE THE TIME OF HIS LIFE
AND THEY CALL IT DANCING
THAT'S ALL
Dance tag
(#13: "PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL", REPRISE)

(Projections: yellow wash with red)
ALL
PACK UP YOUR SINS
YOU'LL MEET THE FINEST OF GENTLEMEN
Page 29

COHENS AND BRADYS
YOU'LL HEAR A HEAVENLY TUNE
THAT WENT TO THE DEVIL BECAUSE THE JAZZ BAND
A JAZZY KICK IN IT
MAKIN’ ‘EM GO TO BED AT ELEVEN
(Projections: full yellow wash)
IF YOU CARE TO DWELL WHERE THE WEATHER IS HOT
H-E-DOUBLE-L IS A HELL OF A SPOT
IF YOU NEED A REST AND YOU’RE ALL OUT OF SORTS
HADES IS THE BEST
OF THE WINTER RESORTS
PARADISE DOESN'T COMPARE
ALL THE NICE PEOPLE ARE THERE
THEY COME FROM EVERYWHERE JUST TO REVEL
WITH MISTER DEVIL
NOTHIN' ON HIS MIND BUT A COUPLE OF HORNS
SATAN IS A WAITIN' WITH HIS JAZZ BAND
AND HIS BAND
CAME FROM ALABAM'
WITH A MELODY HOT
NO ONE GIVES A DAMN IF IT’S MUSIC OR NOT
SATAN’S MELODY MAKES YOU WANNA DANCE FOREVER
AND YOU’LL NEVER HAVE TO GO TO BED AT ALL
PACK UP YOUR SINS

YOU'LL MEET THE FINEST OF GENTLEMEN
COHENS AND BRADYS
YOU'LL HEAR A HEAVENLY TUNE
THAT WENT TO THE DEVIL BECAUSE THE JAZZ BAND
A JAZZY KICK IN IT
MAKIN’ ‘EM GO TO BED AT ELEVEN
Page 30
(Projections: full yellow wash)
GINGER, SADIE, EILEEN GEORGE, JIM, ALEX

IF YOU CARE TO DWELL PACK UP YOUR SINS
WHERE THE WEATHER IS HOT AND GO TO THE DEVIL IN HADES
H-E-DOUBLE-L YOU'LL MEET THE FINEST
IS A HELL OF A SPOT
IF YOU NEED A REST OF GENTLEMEN
AND YOU’RE ALL OUT OF SORTS AND THE FINEST OF LADIES
HADES IS THE BEST THEY'D RATHER BE DOWN BELOW
OF THE WINTER RESORTS THAN UP ABOVE
PARADISE DOESN'T COMPARE HADES IS FULL
ALL THE NICE PEOPLE ARE THERE OF THOUSANDS OF
THEY COME FROM EVERYWHERE JONESES AND BROWNS
JUST TO REVEL AND HOULIHANS
WITH MISTER DEVIL COHENS AND BRADYS
NOTHIN' ON HIS MIND YOU'LL HEAR A HEAVENLY TUNE
BUT A COUPLE OF HORNS THAT WENT TO THE DEVIL
SATAN IS A WAITIN' BECAUSE THE JAZZ BAND
WITH HIS JAZZ BAND THEY STARTED PICKIN' IT
AND HIS BAND THEN PUT A TRICK IN IT
CAME FROM ALABAM' A JAZZY KICK IN IT
WITH A MELODY HOT THEY'VE GOT A COUPLE
NO ONE GIVES A DAMN OF OLD REFORMERS
IF IT’S MUSIC OR NOT IN HEAVEN
SATAN’S MELODY MAKIN’ ‘EM GO TO BED AT ELEVEN
MAKES YOU WANNA PACK UP YOUR SINS
DANCE FOREVER AND GO TO THE DEVIL
AND YOU’LL NEVER AND YOU'LL NEVER
HAVE TO GO TO BED AT ALL HAVE TO GO TO BED AT ALL
(Projections: interior of speak easy)
(#14: "SILENT MOVIE MUSIC", PIANO)

A loud police siren breaks through the applause as police lights ballyhoo.
The speakeasy is being raided. Everyone freezes.
(Projections: "CHEEZE IT THE COPS!" inner-title.)
ALL mime saying "CHEEZE IT THE COPS!"
(Projections: Black and white speakeasy interior)
A chaotic chase ensues as the "SILENT MOVIE MUSIC" begins. The

music to the 'SILENT MOVIE' is made up of material previously heard in
the SPEAK EASY sequence as played by SADIE at the onstage piano. It
changes styles with each new event of the "SILENT MOVIE." SADIE also
has a 'foley necklace' laden with the noisemaker props that she will use
through the 'movie' to add flair to the score.
Page 31
Everyone scrambles to grab the liquor and hide it inside the piano.
Although the piano always remains center stage, changing projections
make it appear as if the piano is actually moving to various new and
somewhat absurd locations. Each new location is initiated by a change in
the screens and the music.
ALEX, GEORGE, GINGER and EILEEN turn and run off in various
directions.
(Projections: Speakeasy exterior.)
(Projections: Chinatown exterior)
JIM, in the mayhem, has exited and re-entered with pork pie hat, and is
now 'BUSTER KEATON. As the others depart, he realizes that the
'hooch' is still inside the piano.
(Projections: inner-title: "The piano has been "tuned!")
He sneaks down, opens the piano top
Sadie Foley: Ratchet
HE pulls out a bottle and SADIE 'dings' it like a triangle.
SADIE foley: Police whistle.
He puts bottle back in and starts 'mime pushing' the piano to SR.
(Projections: Chinatown exterior moving left)
HE dodges cars as horns blare and "ay-ooga."
SADIE foley: Bike horn.
(Projections: Various period cars in traffic.)
'BUSTER' gets to SR of piano and stops for a mechanical stop sign.
(Projections: Mechanical stop sign.)
HE waits.
(Projections: Mechanical go sign.) HE mimes pushing piano to SL.
(Projections; Penn Station interior)
(Projections: Train out of tunnel sequence (SL screen),
SADIE foley: Train Whistle.
(Projections: inner-title "OH NO!")

Page 32
'BUSTER' mimes saying "OH NO!" HE then mimes pushing piano away
from train to SR.
(Projections: Out of Penn station and back through Chinatown)
The piano 'gets away from him' on a hill.
(Projections: Hill tilting down toward SR.)
He almost catches it-falls behind. 'Buster' finally catches it with Sadie's

helpful reach. The piano then starts to 'roll' toward him down hill to the
left.
(Projections: Hill tilting down toward SL.)
HE lets piano “pass him” running backward to SR side...and it continues

'downhill' with him chasing it until he vaults onto the top of the piano.
(Projections: Cavalry/Indians on horses.)
SADIES Foley: Cap Gun.
HE “rides the piano until it falls into the river with a splash.
(Projections: inner-title: "Splash!")
(Projections: East River and Ellis Island.)
SADIE foley: Bird chirp whistle.
(Projections: Inner-title "PEACE, AT LAST!")
'BUSTER' mimes saying "PEACE, AT LAST!" and paddles the piano like
a canoe.
(Projections: River rapids.)
'BUSTER' mimes having difficulty paddling through rough water.
(Projections: Niagara Falls)
'BUSTER' jumps off piano, over SADIE'S head and lands flat on floor
downstage of the piano.
(Projections; up side down Great Wall of China)
'BUSTER' stands, dusts himself off. Confused, he scratches his head (as
SADIE plays the same sour note heard in previous scenes), and pulls out
a black and white map to figure out his whereabouts. He turns the map
upside down. He looks upside down between his legs at screens, then
rights himself.
(Projections: Right side up Great Wall of China,

Page 33
SADIE foley: Mini- gong.
'BUSTER' bows, hands folded, in polite oriental fashion.
Sadie foley: Police whistle.
(Projections: Inner-Title: Chinese “Oh, Shit”)
'BUSTER' starts running again. He sees a mountain.
(Projections: Small Matterhorn)
He begins to climb piano and falls.
(Projections: Medium Matterhorn)
'BUSTER' tries again and falls to floor.
(Projections: Large Matterhorn)
'BUSTER' trises climbing 'Matterhorn' again, this time SADIE pushes his
butt to help him to top of piano.
(Projections: Small Matterhorn, Medium Matterhorn, Large top of

Matterhorn)
'BUSTER' reaches stands atop the piano 'Matterhorn'. SADIE hands him
a small black and white American flag. He salutes twice and waves the
flag with pride.
SADIE foley: Police whistle.
Startled, 'BUSTER" mimes slipping and begins to 'fall' in slow motion with
flag still in his right hand.
(Projections: Clouds.)
(Projections: Falling past building sequence; Woolworth building

segments.)
(Projections: Headlines of Stock Market crash.)
'BUSTER' falls off back of piano and disappears.
(Projections: Lower East Side street, Black and White.)
The 'SILENT MOVIE' is over, and so is the carefree spirit of the

'ROARING TWENTIES.' It is now the beginning of 'THE GREAT
DEPRESSION.' SADIE plays the big finish as we see 'BUSTER'S' pork
pie hat fly up from and then fall back behind the piano. SADIE gets up
from piano, places 'For Sale' sign on piano. She picks up the stool and
bag and exits L1.
Page 34
ACT 1
SCENE 4, MANHATTAN: LOWER EAST SIDE, EARLY 1930’S
(#15: "BLUE SKIES")

The piano has been abandoned center stage. A slow, melancholy
version of "BLUE SKIES" is heard as JIM comes out from behind the
piano dressed in a ragged winter coat, scarf and hat. He places crate on
top of piano. In the crate is a blanket and newspaper.
(Projections: monochromatic color is added to the previous black and

white, lower east side street scene. It’s a typical scene out of the
Depression with the look of a painted postcard.)
JIM
(Optimistic, He's got a piano to sell.)
NEVER SAW THE SUN SHINING SO BRIGHT
NEVER SAW THINGS GOING SO RIGHT
NOTICING THE DAYS HURRYING BY
WHEN YOUR IN LOVE MY MY HOW THEY FLY
Eileen enters from L2 with apple crate around her neck. JIM moves
piano L and sits as EILEEN crosses to CS.
JIM
OH BLUE SKIES
EILEEN
APPLES!
JIM
SMILIN' AT ME
EILEEN
APPLES!
JIM
NOTHIN’ BUT BLUE SKIES
DO I SEE
EILEEN
BLUEBIRDS
JIM
(Pitching piano for a sale)
PIANO!
EILEEN
SINGIN' A SONG
JIM
PIANO!
Page 35
EILEEN
NOTHIN' BUT BLUEBIRDS
SADIE
(Entering from DL)
Still trying to sell that Piano?
ALEX, dressed as a wealthy gentleman, enters from R and moves to DL.
JIM
Somebody will buy it.
EILEEN
In case you hadn't noticed, nobody has any money.
ALEX enters R1, crosses in front of Piano.
JIM
(Pointing to ALEX)
He does.
(To ALEX)
Excuse me sir. Want to buy a piano?
ALEX
I can barely afford an apple. You should have caught me before the Crash.
(Humoring him)
How does it sound?
JIM
Just listen to this!
He plays arpeggio ending on sour note. They all cringe.
ALEX
(To EILEEN)
How much for an apple?
EILEEN
Five cents.
EILEEN crosses to ALEX and hands him apple. ALEX gives nickel to
EILEEN. JIM close’s lid and leans against piano. ALEX exits.
SADIE
These are difficult times.
SADIE exits UR.
EILEEN
You're never going to sell this Piano.
JIM
Oh, I will. And when I do, don't expect me to take you to the movies…
EILEEN
The movies?!
Page 36
JIM
…or to The Ritz for dinner or if you’re lucky a carriage ride around the park.
EILEEN
Who says I'd go?
JIM
Who says I'm askin'?
EILEEN plays the bad note three quick times.
EILEEN
Good luck, Mister Rockefeller.
She exits DL1.
(#16: "ALL BY MYSELF")

He sighs, sits on crate DS of piano, pulls out newspaper and begins doing
crossword puzzle.
JIM
ALL BY MYSELF IN THE MORNING
Five letter word for "insular".
ALL BY MYSELF IN THE NIGHT
Five letters, Going down.
I SIT ALONE
A-L-0-N-E ... Alone!
WITH A TABLE AND A CHAIR
SO UNHAPPY THERE
PLAYING
He realizes he's found another word.
SOLITAIRE
Writes in the word.
ALL BY MYSELF
I GET LONELY
WATCHING THE CLOCK
ON THE SHELF
SFX: Thunder
JIM closes lid and covers piano w/blanket

I'D LIKE TO REST
MY WEARY HEAD
JIM stands on crate.
ON SOMEBODY’S SHOULDER
Anybody's shoulder!
I HATE TO GROW OLDER ALL BY MY—
Page 37
JIM sit on piano and covers head with Newspaper and begins to flip his
coin.
SFX: Thunder
(#17: "ISN'T IT A LOVELY DAY")

GEORGE sees JIM with his coin and crosses to the piano. George
catches the coin and gives JIM his umbrella.
GINGER
George!
George turns to Ginger and show’s the nickel.
GINGER
ISN’T IT A LOVELY DAY
TO BE CAUGHT IN THE RAIN
GEORGE, Crosses to Ginger at CS.
GEORGE
YOU WERE GOING ON YOUR WAY
NOW YOU'VE GOT TO REMAIN
JUST AS YOU WERE GOING
LEAVING ME ALL AT SEA
CLOUDS BROKE
THEY BROKE
AND OH WHAT A BREAK FOR ME
GINGER
I CAN SEE THE SUN UP HIGH
THOUGH WE'RE CAUGHT IN A STORM
GEORGE
I CAN SEE WHERE YOU AND I COULD BE COZY AND WARM
BOTH
LET THE RAIN PITTER-PATTER
CAUSE IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER
IF THE SKIES ARE GRAY
GINGER
LONG AS I CAN BE WITH YOU
IT’S A LOVELY DAY
EILEEN enters from UL and moves to R selling apples. SADIE, a
Russian immigrant, enters from UR2 and moves to C.
EILEEN
Apples! Apples!
Page 38
SADIE
For this I left my home. My Russia. For what? So I could be free. Free to stand in
bread lines.
(#18: "RUSSIAN LULLABY")
(Projections: Russian countryside)
SADIE
HMMM..…
EV'RY NIGHT YOU HEAR HER CROON A RUSSIAN LULLABY
JUST A LITTLE PLAINTIVE TUNE WHEN BABY STARTS TO CRY
ROCK-A-BYE MY BABY
SOMEWHERE THERE MAYBE
A LAND THAT'S FREE FOR YOU AND ME
AND A RUSSIAN LULLABY HMMM......
(#19: "TWO CHEERS, INSTEAD OF THREE")
ALEX
IT’S SMART TO BE THRIFTY
WHEN THINGS LOOK SO BAD
LET’S BE PATRIOTIC
BUT LETS NOT GO MAD
WE MUST CHEER THE COLORS WE PRIZE
SO, HERE’S WHAT I STRONGLY ADVISE
WE’LL JUST HAVE TWO CHEERS

INSTEAD OF THREE
FOR THE LAND OF THE BRAVE AND THE FREE
INSTEAD OF THREE CHEERS
WE'LL JUST HAVE TWO
FOR THE LAND OF THE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE
SO WHEN WE CHEER THE STARS AND STRIPES

HERE’S WHAT WE'LL DO
WE’LL CHEER THE RED AND CHEER THE WHITE
BUT NOT THE BLUE
AND JUST HAVE TWO CHEERS
INSTEAD OF THREE
FOR THE LAND OF THE BRAVE AND THE FREE
ALL
(Protesting)
Huh? Can you tell me something? Etc…
ALEX
WHY GIVE 'EM THREE CHEERS
WHEN TWO WILL MORE THAN DO
IF THERE MUST BE CHEERS
THEN LET THERE JUST BE TWO
Page 39
AND THE SPEECHES THAT YOU MAKE TO UNCLE SAM

CUT ‘EM DOWN TO "UNACCUSTOMED AS I AM…
C-mon! Follow me. There we go!
Dance Break
GEORGE
I’m feeling better already.
GINGER
Well, that’s the spirit ladies.
ALEX
(Going into dance break)
Keep up with me boys…If ya can. Come on, let’s go!
SO WHEN WE CHEER THE STARS AND THE STRIPES
HERE'S WHAT WE’LL DO
WE’LL CHEER THE RED AND CHEER THE WHITE
BUT NOT THE BLUE
AND WE’LL HAVE TWO CHEERS
INSTEAD OF THREE
FOR THE LAND OF THE BRAVE
AND THE FREE
JIM
(Optimistic)
Look at it this way. Things can only get better.
GEORGE
(Realistic)
Because they can't get much worse.
On bell tone they all look up. It has begun to snow.
(Projections: animated snowstorm, same street scene)
(#20: "I'VE GOT MY LOVE TO KEEP ME WARM)

ALL
THE SNOW IS SNOWING
THE WIND IS BLOWING
BUT I CAN WEATHER THE STORM
WHAT DO I CARE HOW MUCH IT MAY STORM
I’VE GOT MY LOVE TO KEEP ME WARM
I CAN'T REMEMBER
A WORSE DECEMBER
JUST WATCH THOSE ICICLES FORM
WHAT DO I CARE IF ICICLES FORM
I'VE GOT MY LOVE TO KEEP ME WARM
Page 40
(#21: "BLUE SKIES", REPRISE)

MEN
NEVER SAW THE SUN SHININ' SO BRIGHT
NEVER SAW THINGS GOIN’ SO RIGHT
NOTICIN’ THE DAYS HURRYING BY
WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE
MY MY HOW THEY FLY
OH BLUE SKIES
WOMEN
BLUE SKIES
MEN
SMILIN' AT ME
WOMEN
BLUE SKIES
MEN
NOTHIN’ BUT
ALL
BLUE SKIES
DO I SEE
BLUEBIRDS
SINGIN' A SONG
NOTHIN' BUT BLUEBIRDS
ALL DAY LONG
GINGER
OFF WITH MY OVERCOAT OFF WITH MY GLOVE
GEORGE
I NEED NO OVERCOAT
GINGER & GEORGE
I’M BURNIN' WITH LOVE
ALL
MY HEART’S ON FIRE
THE FLAMES GROW HIGHER
SO I WILL WEATHER THE STORM
WHAT DO I CARE HOW MUCH IT MAY STORM
I’VE GOT MY LOVE TO KEEP ME
I’VE GOT MY LOVE TO KEEP ME
I’VE GOT MY LOVE
JIM
I’VE GOT MY LOVE
I’VE GOT...
(Projections: no snow, same street)
Page 41
GINGER and GEORGE exit L1, leaving EILEEN DR while JIM, a little
defeated, remains C with piano.
ALEX
How does five dollars sound?
JIM
(Thrilled)
Five dollars?!
ALEX
Pretty fair offer, considering the broken note.
JIM
(Ecstatic)
I'll take—
EILEEN
He won’t take less than ten.
ALEX
Who’s she?
EILEEN
His business partner.
ALEX
(Handing JIM ten dollars)
You drive a hard bargain.
ALEX and SADIE push the Piano off L1.
(#22: "STEPPIN' OUT WITH MY BABY")

JIM
(a bit stunned)
IF I SEEM TO SCINTILLATE
IT'S BECAUSE I'VE GOT A DATE
A DATE WITH A PACKAGE OF
THE GOOD THINGS THAT COME WITH LOVE
YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK M
I WON'T WASTE YOUR TIME
BUT IF YOU SHOULD ASK ME
WHY I FEEL SUBLIME… I’M
EILEEN takes JIM’S arm
STEPPIN' OUT WITH MY BABY
CAN'T GO WRONG ‘CAUSE I’M IN RIGHT
IT'S FOR SURE, NOT FOR MAYBE
GEORGE and GINGER enter UL, in nice, 'going on a date' clothing.
They Cross to UC.
ADD GEORGE
THAT I'M ALL DRESSED UP TONIGHT
Page 42
EILEEN and JIM exit L1. (Projections: blue wash)
GEORGE
STEPPIN' OUT WITH MY HONEY
CAN'T BE BAD TO FEEL SO GOOD
NEVER FELT QUITE SO SUNNY
AND I KEEP ON KNOCKIN' WOOD
(#23: "TOP HAT, WHITE TIE AND TAILS")
ALEX and SADIE enter from UR3. They are dressed nicely and SADIE is
adjusting ALEX’S tie.)
GEORGE ALEX
THERE'LL BE SMOOTH SAILIN'
CAUSE I'M TRIMMIN'
MY SAILS-- OH I'M--
IN MY TOP HAT AND MY WHITE TIE PUTTIN’ ON MY TOP HAT
AND MY TAILS TYIN' UP MY WHITE TIE
BRUSHIN' OFF MY TAILS
ALEX
OH I’M DUDDIN' UP MY SHIRT FRONT
PUTTIN' IN THE SHIRT STUDS
POLISHIN' MY NAILS—
(#24: "PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ")
JIM
(Entering with EILEEN L2, dressed to go to the movies.)
THAT’S WHERE EACH
AND EV'RY LULUBELLE GOES
EVERY THURSDAY EVENING
WITH HER SWELL BEAUS
RUBBIN' ELBOWS
COME LET’S MIX

WHERE ROCKAFELLERS
WALK WITH STICKS
AND UMBERELLAS IN THEIR MITTS
PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ
JIM and EILEEN tap off to the Movies, followed GEORGE and GINGER
followed by ALEX and SADIE. A pallet of six Movie Theater seats, with
two popcorn boxes, glide on from L, meeting the movie moviegoers C.
Page 43
ACT 1
SCENE 5, A MOVIE THEATER, MID-1930’S
(Projections: Back wall of Art Deco movie theater)
GEORGE
STEPPIN' OUT WITH MY BABY
CAN'T GO WRONG CAUSE I’M IN RIGHT
ASK ME WHEN WILL THE DAY BE
THE BIG DAY MAY BE TONIGHT.
GEORGE and GINGER sit in two center seats with GINGER R of
GEORGE
ALEX
FOR I’LL BE THERE
MUSSIN ‘ UP THE SHIRT FRONT
TYIN' UP THE WHITE TIE
DANCIN’ IN MY TAILS
ALEX and SADIE sit in two R seats with SADIE R of ALEX
JIM
(With EILEEN, stepping over others to get to two L seats with EILEEN R of JIM)
IF YOU'RE BLUE
AND YOU DON’T KNOW
WHERE TO GO TO
WHY DON'T YOU GO
WHERE FASHION SITS
JIM and EILEEN sit.
PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ
Movie begins with lobster-scope effect as they all stare lovingly at the
'movie screen' they are facing.
(#25: "CHEEK TO CHEEK")

ALL
HEAVEN
I'M IN HEAVEN
AND MY HEART BEATS SO
THAT I CAN HARDLY SPEAK
MEN slyly put their arms around their dates.
AND I SEEM TO FIND THE HAPPINESS I SEEK
WHEN WE'RE OUT TOGETHER
DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK
(#26: "LET'S FACE THE MUSIC”)
ALL frightened of what they see on the 'screen'.
Page 44
ALEX
THERE MAY BE TROUBLE AHEAD
BUT WHILE THERE'S MOONLIGHT AND MUSIC
AND LOVE AND ROMANCE
LET’S FACE THE MUSIC AND DANCE
WOMEN grab their MEN for security. MEN do not protest.
WOMEN
AH---, AH---, AH---
MEN
BEFORE THE FIDDLER HAS FLED
WOMEN
AH ------ AH--!
MEN
BEFORE THY ASK US TO PAY THE BILL
AND WHILE WE STILL HAVE THE CHANCE
ALL
LET'S FACE THE MUSIC AND DANCE
ALL
DANCE!
LET’S FACE THE MUSIC AND--
(#27: "LET'S HAVE ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE")
They dance a comic soft shoe from their seats, their eyes never leaving
the ‘movie screen’.
(#28: "LET YOURSELF GO")

GINGER
COME GET TOGETHER
LET THE DANCE FLOOR FEEL YOU’R LEATHER
STEP AS LIGHTLY AS A FEATHER
LET YOURSELF GO!
WOMEN
COME HIT THE TIMBER
LOOSEN UP AND START TO.LIMBER
CAN'T YA HEAR THAT HOT MARIMBA
LET YOURSELF GO!
GINGER
(To ALEX, putting on the moves)
LET YOURSELF GO!
RELAX
AND LET YOURSELF GO
Page 45
ALEX
(To a very upset SADIE)
RELAX
GINGER
(Still to ALEX)
YOU’VE GOT YOURSELF TIED UP IN A KNOT
THE NIGHT IS COLD
BUT THE MUSIC’S HOT, SO
WOMEN
GINGER dances with ALEX, leaving GEORGE no choice but to dance
with EILEEN. SADIE and JIM are left on the ends with no partners,
COME CUDDLE CLOSER
DON'T YA DARE TO ANSWER NO SIR
BUTCHER, BANKER, CLERK OR GROCER
LET YOURSELF GO
LET YOURSELF GO
LET YOURSELF GO---
OHHH---
(#29: "CHANGE PARTNERS")
JIM
(Upset that EILEEN has been dancing with GEORGE)
MUST YOU DANCE
EVERY DANCE
WITH THE SAME FORTUNATE MAN
YOU HAVE DANCED WITH HIM SINCE THE MUSIC BEGAN
WON'T YOU CHANGE PARTNERS
AND DANCE WITH ME
ALL
(except JIM and SADIE)
OHHH----!
SADIE
(Upset that ALEXANDER has been dancing with GINGER. SADIE salts her popcorn)
YOU’VE BEEN LOCKED
IN HER ARMS
EVER SINCE HEAVEN KNOWS WHEN
WON'T YOU CHANGE PARTNERS AND THEN
YOU MAY NEVER WANT TO CHANGE PARTNERS AGAIN
On bell tone, they all find their original partners.
(#30: "CHEEK TO CHEEK", REPRISE)

ALL
HEAVEN
I'M IN HEAVEN
AND MY HEART BEATS SO
Page 46
THAT I CAN HARDLY SPEAK

AND I SEEM TO FIND THE HAPPINESS I SEEK
WHEN WE’RE OUT TOGETHER
The movie comes to a glorious conclusion as GEORGE stands, followed
by GINGER, JIM, EILEEN, SADIE and ALEX. They applaud what they
have just seen. They step DS with their partners and sing, as the pallet of
theater seats goes off L.
(#31: "THE BEST THINGS HAPPEN WHILE YOU DANCE")

ALL
THE BEST THINGS
HAPPEN WHILE YOU'RE DANCING
THINGS THAT YOU WOULD NOT DO AT HOME
COME NATURALLY ON THE FLOOR
FOR DANCING
SOON BECOMES ROMANCING
WHEN YOU HOLD A GIRL IN YOUR ARMS
THAT YOU'VE NEVER HELD BEFORE
JIM
EVEN GUYS WITH TWO LEFT FEET
COME OUT ALL RIGHT
IF THE GIRL IS SWEET
GEORGE
IF BY CHANCE YOUR CHEEKS SHOULD MEET
WHILE DANCING
ALL
IT'S BECAUSE THE BEST THINGS HAPPEN
WHILE YOU DANCE!
(#32: "THE BEST THING HAPPEN WHILE YOU DANCE". DANCE)
(Projections: Red wash/mauve)
ALL begin to dance off R except for GEORGE, who remains SL. He does
a step. GINGER is SR, she follows his lead. And as is true in any good
‘Fred and Ginger' movie, what starts as a challenge becomes a
partnership. They finish their dance together DC. During the tag, they
Dance with great energy off L1. JIM and EILEEN dance on from L2. They
dance on the steps as if they are the “keys” of the piano. EILEEN and JIM
dance off R1 as SADIE and ALEX enter L2 with the piano. As they watch
as JIM and EILEEN exit, they CDS. They perform a soft shoe number.
Following this number GEORGE, GINGER waltz on from L1 and JIM and
EILEEN waltz on from R1. We are now in the midst of a dance
marathon. A mirror ball drops in and is lighted. ALEX and SADIE push
the piano, on the upper platform, to SR . SADIE plays piano as ALEX
sets mic UC. JIM and EILEEN help GINGER and GEORGE in a costume
change on stage. JIM and EILEEN then exit L1.
Page 47
ACT 1
SCENE 6, A BALLROOM, EARLY 1940’S
ALEX
(As M.C. of Dance Marathon)
After a hundred an thirty-seven hours on the floor, fourteen inexhaustible couples are
miraculously still dancing!
ALEX
And remember folks; In order to be eligible for the coveted one thousand dollar cash
prize, couples must remain in constant motion.
(#33: "SAY IT ISN’T SO")
GINGER
(Dancing slowly with GEORGE draped over her shoulder)
SAY IT ISN'T SO
SAY IT ISN'T SO
EVERYONE IS SAYING YOU DON’T LOVE ME
SAY IT ISN’T SO
GEORGE and GINGER'S dancing becomes almost motionless.
EVERYWHERE I GO
EVERYONE I KNOW
WHISPERS THAT YOU’RE GROWING
TIRED OF ME
SAY IT ISN'T SO
ALEX
(To GEORGE and GINGER)
Couple number fifty-seven, you must remain dancing.
(They dance with slightly more motion.)
PEOPLE SAY THAT YOU
FOUND SOMEBODY NEW
AND IT WON'T BE LONG BEFORE YOU LEAVE ME
SAY IT ISN'T TRUE
SAY THAT EVERYTHING IS STILL OKAY
THAT'S ALL I WANT TO KNOW
AND WHAT THEY’RE SAYING
SAY IT ISN'T SO
AND WHAT THEY’RE SAYING
SAY IT ISN'T SO
(#34: "THE BEST THINGS HAPPEN WHILE YOU DANCE", DANCE
INTERLUDE)
(JIM and EILEEN dance on from L2, very energetically.)
Page 48
ALEX
(Referring to JIM and EILEEN)
It seems that nothing can stop couple number twenty-nine. Let's hear a big round of
applause for this amazing display of endurance.
(Projections: Dance hall - headlines of America being drawn into war -
Japan bombs Pearl Harbor, America goes to War.) Music comes to an
abrupt stop. The MEN read their Army induction telegrams
simultaneously.
GEORGE ALEX JIM

GREETINGS:
YOU ARE DIRECTED TO
REPORT TO ARMY
INDUCTION DEPOT
AT (244 WHITE HALL ST., (1608 S. ST., CHICAGO (373 PIKE ST., SEATTLE
NEW YORK, NEW YORK ILLINOIS AT O6OO HOUR WASHINTON AT 0100
AT 0700 HOURS ON ON 12, DEC., 1941. HOURS ON 8, DEC., 1941
9, DEC. 1941. STOP)
STOP
STOP
FROM AND AFTER THE

DAY AND HOUR JUST
NAMED YOU WILL BE A
SOLDIER IN THE
MILITARY SERVICE OF
THE UNITED STATES.
(#35:"HOW DEEP IS THE OCEAN?")
(Projections: Blue wash)
GEORGE
HOW MUCH DO I LOVE YOU?
I'LL TELL YOU NO LIE
HOW DEEP IS THE OCEAN?
HOW HIGH IS THE SKY?
HOW MANY TIMES A DAY DO I THINK OF YOU?
HOW MANY ROSES
ARE SPRINKLED WITH DEW?
ADD JIM
HOW FAR WOULD I TRAVEL
TO BE WHERE YOU ARE?
ADD ALEX
HOW FAR IS THE JOURNEY
FROM HERE TO A STAR?
Page 49
GEORGE
AND IF I EVER LOST YOU
HOW MUCH WOULD I CRY?
HOW HIGH IS THE SKY?
ALL
OOOOOOOOOOO.
AHHH.
There is a short musical interlude, during which the couples embrace to
say goodbye.
GEORGE WOMEN
AND IF I EVER LOST YOU OOOOOOOOOOOOO
HOW MUCH WOULD I CRY?
HOW HIGH IS THE SKY? AHHHHHHHH
(#36: "ALWAYS")
ALL
I'LL BE LOVING YOU
ALWAYS
WITH A LOVE THAT'S TRUE
ALWAYS
WHEN THE THINGS YOU'VE PLANNED
NEED A HELPING HAND
I WILL UNDERSTAND
ALWAYS ALWAYS
DAYS MAY NOT BE FAIR

ALWAYS
THAT'S WHEN I’LL BE THERE
ALWAYS
NOT FOR JUST AN HOUR
NOT FOR JUST A DAY
NOT FOR JUST A YEAR
BUT ALWAYS
The MEN run off L.
GINGER
NOT FOR JUST AN HOUR
ADD SADIE
NOT FOR JUST A DAY
ADD EILEEN
NOT FOR JUST A YEAR, BUT
Page 50
GINGER
ALWAYS
WOMEN
I'LL BE LOVING YOU
ALWAYS
A lone military snare drum takes over the rhythm. The women turn
together and move in step, to UC where they then move the piano off R2,
as the lights and projections fade to black.
Page 51
ACT I
SCENE 7, STAGEDOOR CANTEEN, DURING WORLD WAR II
In the black, we hear a military rhythm on snare. Piano joins in, playing a
very strict military version of "I LOVE A PIANO". In black, a scene is set L
with an army cot with blanket and pillow, a military footlocker, a field
radio, a picture of EILEEN, a Christmas card, and an army rifle and
helmet. An authentic "reveille" is bugled from the pit, as lights come up
on JIM who lurches awake, bolt upright on his cot. JIM is trying to get up
and get dressed.
(Projections: SL screens only; Army tenting)
(#37: "OH, HOW I HATE TO GET UP IN THE MORNING")

JIM
OH, HOW I HATE TO GET UP IN THE MORNING
OH, HOW I’D LOVE TO REMAIN IN BED
FOR THE HARDEST BLOW OF ALL
(Falling back to sleep.)
IS TO HEAR THE BUGLER'S CALL
BUGLE CALL. JIM again lurches awake.
OH, HOW I HATE TO GET UP IN THE-- (YAWN)
OH, HOW I’D LOVE TO REMAIN IN-- (YAWN)
FOR THE HARDEST BLOW OF ALL
(Falling back to sleep.)
IS TO HEAR THE BUGLER'S CALL
BUGLE CALL. JIM lurches awake.
SOMEDAY I'M GOING TO MURDER THE BUGLER
SOMEDAY THEY'RE GOING TO FIND HIM DEAD
I'LL AMPUTATE HIS REVEILLE
AND STEP UPON IT HEAVILY
AND SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE IN BED
AND THEN I'LL GET THAT OTHER PUP

THE GUY WHO WAKES THE BUGLER UP
AND SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE IN
(Starting to doze)
BED!
(Projection: USO banner and curtains on R screens)
BUGLE CALL - the last part of the BUGLE CALL is played badly by
GINGER, bringing us into the world of the STAGEDOOR CANTEEN.
Lights come up R on THE STAGE DOOR CANTEEN. It is 1945.
GEORGE, GINGER and EILEEN march on from OR2. ALEX enters from
R1 with Piano. All four are 'USO performers' dressed in military garb.
They are in the middle of a rehearsal. ALEX, the director of the
Page 52
rehearsal, plays piano. There is a tabletop radio that sits on top R end of
piano.
(#38: "THIS IS THE ARMY")

GEORGE, GINGER, ALEX AND EILEEN
THIS IS THE ARMY, MR. JONES
GINGER blasts bugle fill - badly.
NO PRIVATE ROOMS OR TELEPHONES
GINGER blows bugle.
YOO HAD YOUR BREAKFAST IN BED BEFORE
BUT YOU WON'T HAVE IT THERE ANYMORE
Another bugle blast
ALEX
Halt! Private Macready.
GINGER
Sir!
ALEX
Lose the bugle!
GINGER
But I thought it would be a nice touch. I mean, being a military show and all.
ALEX
Macready!
GINGER
Sir!
ALEX
Lose it!
GINGER
Right!
GINGER tosses bugle to ALEX.
JIM jumps to attention, with rifle at side, and begins to march and do
‘rifleography'. JIM'S world continues to mirror the CANTEEN world.
Rehearsal continues, as GEORGE, GINGER, and EILEEN, USO
entertainers, are marching in place and singing, while ALEX continues to
direct, shouting military-like orders. Stage L, JIM continues to march,
following the orders of ALEX as if they are the orders of his imaginary
Sergeant. Stage R: Marching is part of the show in rehearsal at the
STAGEDOOR CANTEEN.
GEORGE, GINGER, ALEX AND EILEEN

THIS IS THE ARMY, MISTER GREEN
Page 53
ALEX
Faster!
ALL
WE LIKE THE BARRACKS NICE AND CLEAN
ALEX
Faster! Faster!
ALL
YOU HAD A HOUSEMAID TO CLEAN YOUR FLOOR
BUT YOU WON'T HAVE HER THERE ANYMORE
SADIE rushes on.
ALL
DO WHAT THE BUGLER’S COMMAND!
SADIE
Sorry I'm late.
ALL
THEY'RE IN THE ARMY!
AND NOT IN A BAND!
SADIE steps on Ginger's foot on the last note.
GINGER
OWWWWW!
(To SADIE)
I wish you would dance on your own feet instead of dancing on mine!I
SADIE
I'm not a dancer. I'm a singer who moves.
GINGER
Well, then, move!
ALEX
Ladies!
EILEEN has sneaked down and turned on radio.
RADIO (V/0)
... and that concludes the final chapter of the Whilloby Saga.
ALEX reaches to turn off radio.
Don't touch that dial…

ALEX doesn’t
…Stay tuned for a special Holiday Lux Music hour–
ALEX turns off radio.
Page 54
ALEX
Miss Eileen McGuire, May I remind you that we are still in rehearsal and if you value
your job at the Stage Door Canteen–
EILEEN
I'm sorry Alex. I was looking for the war reports. I'm worried about Jim overseas.
GINGER
Gee honey, that is rough. How long has it been?
EILEEN
Two days.
ALEX
George, let's do the ballad.
ALEX plays an arpeggio on piano and hits the bad note. ALEX looks at
the keys and hits a higher chord. GEORGE gets music from piano top.
(#39: "I'M GETTING TIRED SO I CAN SLEEP")

GEORGE
OUT ON A HIKE ALL DAY DEAR
PART OF THE ARMY GRIND
WEARY AND LONG THE WAY DEAR
BUT REALLY, I DON’T MIND
ALL sing backup. JIM is getting ready for bed in his tent. He has a
picture of EILEEN that he sets up next to his cot.
GEORGE
I'M GETTING TIRED SO I CAN SLEEP
I WANT TO SLEEP SO I CAN DREAM
I WANT TO DREAM SO I CAN BE WITH YOU
I'VE GOT YOUR PICTURE BY MY BED

T'WILL SOON BE PLACED BENEATH MY HEAD
TO KEEP ME COMPANY THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH
ALEX
All right everyone; let's just do the backups.
They rehearse backups as JIM, over seas, sings his immediate feelings.
(#40: "I LEFT MY HEART AT THE STAGE DOOR CANTEEN")

JIM
I LEFT MY HEART AT THE STAGE DOOR CANTEEN
I LEFT IT THERE WITH A GIRL NAMED EILEEN
I KEPT HER SERVING DOUGHNUTS
'TIL ALL SHE HAD WERE GONE
I SAT THERE DUNKING DOUGHNUTS
Page 55
'TILL SHE CAUGHT ON

ADD EILEEN
FOR A LITTLE WHILE
WHATEVER BEFALLS
I WILL SEE YOU SMILE TILL REVEILLE CALLS
JIM
I MUST GO BACK TO THE ARMY ROUTINE
ALL (EXCEPT JIM)
(Rehearsing parts)
THIS IS THE ARMY
JIM
AND EV'RY DOUGHBOY KNOWS WHAT THAT WILL MEAN
ALL
MISTER JONES
EILEEN crosses to RC.
JIM AND EILEEN

A SOLDIER BOY WITHOUT A HEART
HAS TWO STRIKES ON HIM FROM THE START
JIM
AND MY HEART’S AT THE STAGEDOOR CANTEEN
ALEX
Let’s hear the 'Bonds’ number from the top.
SADIE crosses to L of piano.
(#41: "ANY BONDS TODAY")

SADIE
THE TALL MAN
WITH THE HIGH HAT
AND THE WHISKERS ON HIS CHIN
WILL SOON BE KNOCKIN’ AT YOUR DOOR
AND YOU OUGHTA' BE IN
Girls!
THE TALL MAN
WITH THE HIGH HAT
WILL BE COMIN' DOWN YOUR WAY
GET YOUR SAVINGS OUT
WHEN YOU HEAR HIM SHOUT
ANY BONDS TODAY
GINGER and EILEEN take sailor hats and cross DS to SADIE and form
trio with EILEEN in the middle.
Page 56
WOMEN
(A la "Andrew Sisters")
ANY BONDS TODAY?
BONDS OF FREEDOM
THAT'S WHAT I’M SELLIN’
ANY BONDS TODAY?
SADIE
(To GINGER)
Wrong part!
WOMEN GINGER
SCRAPE UP THE MOST YOU CAN Nuh-Uh.
WOMEN
HERE COMES THE FREEDOM MAN
ASKIN’ YOU TO BUY A SHARE OF FREEDOM TODAY
GINGER
I'm on the melody!
SADIE
You're on the bottom!
WOMEN
ANY STAMPS TODAY?
BETTER BUY UM, BUT,
WE'LL BE BLESSED
IF WE ALL INVEST
IN THE U.S.A.
GINGER
You're flat!
WOMEN
HERE COMES THE FREEDOM MAN
SADIE
(Crossing up to ALEX)
I’M flat?! Let’s take it up with Alex. He wrote the parts!
GINGER AND EILEEN
CAN'T MAKE TOMORROW’S PLAN
GINGER
I’m right behind you, sister.
EILEEN
NOT UNLESS YOU BUY A SHARE OF FREEDOM
TODAY!
SADIE and GINGER continue arguing as they move upstage with ALEX
and GEORGE, leaving a wistful EILEEN alone downstage on the piano
bench. This transition is underscored by vamp to:
Page 57
(#42: "WHAT'LL I DO?")

EILEEN sings her thoughts about missing JIM.
EILEEN
WHAT'LL I DO
WHEN YOU
ARE FAR AWAY
AND I AM BLUE
WHAT'LL I DO?
WHAT'LL I DO
WHEN I
AM WONDRING WHO
IS KISSING YOU
WHAT'LL I DO?
WHAT'LL I DO
WITH JUST
A PHOTOGRAPH
TO TELL MY TROUBLES TO?
WHEN I’M ALONE
WITH ONLY DREAMS OF YOU
THAT WON'T COME TRUE
WHAT’LL I DO?
(#43: "COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS INSTEAD OF SHEEP")
ALEX
(Consoling EILEEN)
WHEN I'M WORRIED
AND I CAN'T SLEEP
I COUNT MY BLESSINGS
INSTEAD OF SHEEP
AND I FALL ASLEEP
COUNTING MY BLESSINGS
WHEN MY BANKROLL
IS GETTING SMALL
I THINK OF WHEN
I HAD NONE AT ALL
AND I FALL ASLEEP
COUNTING MY BLESSINGS
I THINK ABOUT A NURS'RY

AND I PICTURE CURLY HEADS
AND ONE BY ONE I COUNT THEM
AS THEY SLUMBER IN THEIR BEDS
IF YOU'RE WORRIED
Page 58
AND YOU CAN'T SLEEP

JUST COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
INSTEAD OF SHEEP
AND YOU’LL FALL ASLEEP
COUNTING YOU'RE BLESSINGS
GEORGE, GINGER AND SADIE
(To EILEEN)
I HOPE YOU'RE TIRED ENOUGH TO SLEEP
AND PLEASE SLEEP LONG ENOUGH TO DREAM
AND LOOK FOR ME

FOR I'LL BE DREAMING TOO
ALEX turns on radio.
RADIO
...And now, from all of us here at "Lux Music Hour" we wish you merry Christmas.
And let us hope next year at this time our boys will all be home...
(#44: "WHITE CHRISTMAS")
We hear an instrumental version of "WHITE CHRISTMAS" as the focus
shifts to JIM on his cot, listening to the same radio broadcast on his field
radio. The song begins Very simply, with guitar and piano. JIM begins to
sing along with the radio on the second phrase. SADIE and ALEX exit
SR and return with a Christmas tree and box of ornaments. They all begin
to decorate the tree while listening to the radio.
JIM
...JUST LIKE THE ONES I USED TO KNOW
WHERE THE TREETOPS GLISTEN
AND CHILDREN LISTEN
TO HEAR SLEIGHBELLS IN THE SNOW
ALL EXCEPT
ALL
000000 0000
The arrangement becomes richer as instruments and voices join in.
I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS
Sadie Exits R.
WITH EV'RY CHRISTMAS CARD I WRITE
MAY YOUR DAYS BE MERRY
Sadie Exit R1
AND BRIGHT
AND MAY ALL YOUR CHRISTMASES BE WHITE
The arrangement returns to the simple guitar and piano of the beginning.
Page 59
JIM
MAY YOUR DAYS BE MERRY
AND BRIGHT
ALL
AND MAY ALL YOUR CHRISTMASES BE WHITE----
(Projection: Stars)
(#45: "GOD BLESS AMERICA")

ALL huddle around piano to hear the broadcast. SADIE, as ‘Kate Smith',
is now UC with mic in front of the band. She has become a part of the
radio broadcast.
SADIE
GOD BLESS AMERICA
LAND THAT I LOVE
STAND BESIDE HER
AND GUIDE HER
THROUGH THE NIGHT
WITH A LIGHT FROM ABOVE
Lights fade on SR and SL as those scenes are struck and ALL but SADIE
exit.
FROM THE MOUNTAINS
TO THE PRAIRIES
TO THE OCEANS
WHITE WITH FOAM
GOD BLESS AMERICA
MY HOME SWEET HOME
GEORGE, GINGER, ALEX and EILEEN all enter one by one from SR.
(Projections: Black and white photographs of Times Square victory

celebration)
ADD GEORGE
FROM THE MOUNTAINS
TO THE PRAIRIES
ADD GINGER, ALEX
TO THE OCEANS
WHITE WITH FOAM
GOD BLESS AMERICA
JIM enters L2 with duffel bag. He rushes into EILEEN'S arms C,
recreating the famous 'Sailor Kiss' in Times Square.
MY HOME SWEET HOME
GOD BLESS AMERICA
MY HOME
SWEET
Page 60
HOME
GINGER, GEORGE and ALEX rush to the happy couple and SADIE
continues to sing UC as the song ends.
(Projections: Blue sky)

AHHHH!!!!
(Projections: Bursting fireworks)
END OF ACT I
Page 61
ACT 2
SCENE 1, STAGEDOOR CANTEEN, POST WORLD WAR II
(#46: ENTR' ACT, "I LOVE A PIANO")

The STAGEDOOR CANTEEN has now been closed up, as it is no longer
needed in this post-war America. The piano, now covered with an old
USO banner, seems to have as much purpose as an old army Jeep.
There are remnants of the victory party. Streamers, an old champagne
bottle, and two empty glasses lie on the top of the piano. There is box on
a bent wood chair that sits in front of the piano. The lights are out, and
the STAGEDOOR CANTEEN now seems lifeless. The next three
numbers are performed in a Vaudeville style, with the STAGEDOOR
CANTEEN as a backdrop.
(Projections: closed-up, dark, STAGEDOOR CANTEEN, no USO banner

SR; dark blue wash SL)
(#47: "WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH ALL THE JEEPS?")

GINGER enters from L3 and crosses to DC. She is dressed as a 'Rosie
the Riveter'.
GINGER
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH ALL THE JEEPS?
THINKIN' ABOUT THE JEEPS GIVES ME THE CREEPS
WHAT'LL THE ARMY DO WITH THOSE OLD MESS KITS?
GEORGE and JIM enter, George from R1 with a rigged army blanket and
JIM from L1.
HOW WILL WE SQUEEZE YOUR FOOT
INTO A SHOE THAT FITS?
WHAT’LL WE DO WITH ARMY BLANKETS WHEN

FELLOWS BEGIN TO SLEEP IN SHEETS AGAIN?
The army blanket falls open.
HOW WILL WE USE THE FLANNELS
THAT WE GOT THROUGH ARMY CHANNELS
WHEN THE BOYS COME HOME?
GINGER stomps foot, the boys turn away from her. She begins to
undress behind the blanket.
WHAT'LL WE DO WITH ALL THE EMPTY CANS?
WHERE WILL WE BURN THE PAPERS FILLED WITH PLANS
HOW WILL WE USE THE JUNK THAT THE BOYS SENT BACK
BEAUTIFUL SILVER SOUVENIRS THAT SOON TURNED BLACK
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH ALL THE BARS

ALL OF THE LEAVES THE EAGLES AND THE STARS?
Page 62
HOW WILL WE FACE CONDITIONS

IN A WORLD WITHOUT MUNITIONS
WHEN THE BOYS COME HOME
AND WHAT'LL WE DO WITH ALL THE BOYS
GINGER opens blanket to reveal that she has changed costumes and
now looks like a French maid.
WHEN THE BOYS COME HOME?
GEORGE AND JIM carry GINGER off L1, as ALEX enters L2, dressed in
a golf outfit. He watches them go off.
(#48: "WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH A GENERAL?")

ALEX
(Making his way to C)
WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH A GENERAL
WHEN HE STOPS BEING A GENERAL?
OH, WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH A GENERAL WHO’S RETIRED?
WHO'S GOT A JOB FOR A GENERAL

WHEN HE STOPS BEING A GENERAL
THEY ALL GET A JOB
BUT A GENERAL NO ONE HIRES
THEY FILL HIS CHEST WITH MEDALS

WHILE HE'S ACROSS THE FOAM
AND THEY SPREAD THE CRIMSON CARPET
WHEN HE COMES MARCHING HOME
THE NEXT DAY SOMEONE HOLLERS

WHEN HE COMES INTO VIEW
"HERE COMES THE GENERAL!"
AND THEY ALL SAY "GENERAL WHO?"
THEY'RE DELIGHTED THAT HE CAME

BUT THEY CAN'T RECALL HIS NAME
NOBODY THINKS OF ASSIGNING HIM

WHEN THEY STOP WINING AND DINING HIM
IT SEEMS THIS COUNTRY NEVER HAS ENJOYED
SO MANY ONE AND TWO AND THREE
AND FOUR STAR GENERALS
UNEMPLOYED
(#49: "GEE, I WISH I WAS BACK IN THE ARMY")
JIM and GEORGE now enter from L2, looking Very civilian, GEORGE a
fast order cook, JIM a bellhop. They clown with ALEX, exchanging their
hats with his, trying to get him to loosen up. He resists.
Page 63
GEORGE JIM
WHEN I WAS MUSTERED OUT YO-HO!
I THOUGHT WITHOUT A DOUBT
THAT I WAS THROUGH WITH ALL MY CARE AND STRIFE
JIM
I THOUGHT THAT I WAS THEN
THE HAPPIEST OF MEN
BOTH
BUT AFTER MONTHS OF TOUGH CIVILIAN LIFE
HOOP-DE-DOO!
JIM AND GEORGE

GEE! I WISH I WAS BACK
IN THE ARMY AT ALL
THREE MEALS A DAY
GEORGE
Three!
JIM GEORGE
FOR WHICH THEY DIDN’T PAY Uh, huh!
UNIFORMS FOR WINTER, SPRING UNIFORMS FOR WINTER, SPRING
AND FALL. WHOOP DE DO! AND FALL. WHOOP-DE-DOO!
BOTH
THERE'S A LOT TO BE SAID FOR THE ARMY
A LIFE WITHOUT RESPONSIBILITY
A SOULDIER OUT OF LUCK
WAS NEVER REALLY STUCK
THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE HIGHER UP
WHERE YOU CAN PASS THE BUCK
OH, GEE, I WISH I WAS BACK IN THE ARMY
GINGER, a waitress, and EILEEN, a beautician, march on from R2
joining the men.
GINGER AND EILEEN

GEE! I WISH I WAS BACK IN THE ARMY
THE ARMY WAS THE PLACE TO FIND ROMANCE
SOLDIERS AND WACS
THE WACS WHO DRESSED IN SLACKS
AND PANTS TO PANTS!
ALL 4
THERE'S A LOT TO BE SAID FOR THE ARMY
WOMEN
A GAL WAS NEVER LOST FOR COMPANY
Page 64
WOMEN
A MILLION HANDSOME GUYS
GEORGE AND JIM
Girls!
WITH LONGING IN THEIR EYES
GEORGE AND JIM
Girls!
WOMEN
AND ALL YOU HAD TO DO
WAS PICK
ALL
THE AGE, THE WEIGHT AND SIZE!
OH! GEE! I WISH I WAS BACK IN THE ARMY
GEORGE, GINGER, EILEEN, JIM
Ready for orders, Sir!
ALEX
Company, present arms!
Music stops. GEORGE, GINGER, EILEEN and JIM present “arms”.
GEORGE, GINGER, EILEEN, JIM

THREE MEALS A DAY
FOR WHICH YOU DIDN'T PAY
A MILLION HANDSOME GUYS
WITH LONGING IN THEIR EYES
I THOUGHT THAT I WAS THROUGH
WITH ALL MY CARE AND STRIFE
BUT AFTER MONTHS AND MONTHS
OF TOUGH CIVILIAN LIFE
OH! GEE! I WISH I WAS BACK IN THE ARMY NOW.
ALEX breaks at the end and smiles. They all dance ALEX off R2
SADIE, all alone, enters from R1 and walks into the STAGEDOOR
CANTEEN, still abandoned and filled with the remains of the victory party.
The 'ghost room' seems to fill her with a kind of melancholy. She has lost
her husband in the war. She tries to be strong. She clears some of the
party remains and begins putting them in the box.
(Projections: Fade to black)
(#50: "SUPPERTIME")
SADIE
SUPPERTIME
I SHOULD SET THE TABLE
'CAUSE IT'S SUPPERTIME
Page 65
SOMEHOW I'M NOT ABLE

CAUSE THAT MAN OF MINE
AIN'T COMIN' HOME
NO MORE
SUPPERTIME
KIDS'LL SOON BE YELLIN'
FOR THEIR SUPPERTIME
HOW'LL I KEEP FROM TELLIN'
THEM THAT MAN OF MINE
AIN'T COMIN' HOME NO MORE
HOW’LL I KEEP EXPLAININ'

WHEN THEY ASK ME WHERE HE’S GONE
HOW'LL I KEEP FROM CRYIN'
WHEN I BRING THEIR SUPPER ON?
HOW CAN I REMIND THEM
TO PRAY AT THEIR HUMBLE BOARD
HOW CAN I BE THANKFUL
WHEN THEY START TO THANK THE LORD?
LORD!
SUPPERTIME
‘CAUSE IT'S SUPPERTIME
SOMEHOW I'M NOT ABLE
'CAUSE THAT MAN OF MINE
AIN'T COMIN’ HOME NO MORE
During the musical interlude, the PIANO MOVERS enter from R1. They
cross to the piano and begin to strike all the party remnants. GEORGE
lifts the SL side of the USO banner and discovers the Air Force hat, he
begins to put it in the box but SADIE stops him. She takes the hat from
GEORGE and crosses DS to the chair. This hat reminds her of her
husband. She holds it tight. PIANO MOVERS, GINGER, GEORGE and
ALEX, exit with the piano and box in R1.
SADIE is all alone. She clutches the Army hat, pressing it against her
heart and site in bentwood chair.
HOW CAN I REMIND THEM
TO PRAY AT THEIR HUMBLE BOARD
HOW CAN I BE THANKFUL
WHEN THEY START TO THANK THE LORD?
LORD!
SUPPERTIME
'CAUSE IT'S SUPPERTIME
Page 66
SOMEHOW I’M NOT ABLE

'CAUSE THAT MAN OF MINE
SADIE exits SR1, leaving hat on bentwood chair. A pool of light on
bentwood chair fades to black.
Page 67
ACT 2
SCENE 2, A JUNKYARD, EARLY 1950’S
During the blackout, JIM and EILEEN enter in R2 with the Piano. They
cross to CS as the Lights come up on them. JIM and EILEEN are dressed
as romanticized bums. They have found the piano and are using it as an
elegant dining table. An old cloth as a table cloth, a hubcap as a serving
tray cover, tin plate, 2 tin cans and a milk bottle. A small crate rests on the
SR side of the piano with a large crate P/S on the SL backside of the
piano.
(Projections: junkyard silhouette, romantic moon, night sky)
(#51: "WE'RE A COUPLE OF SWELLS")

JIM AND EILEEN
WE'RE A COUPLE OF SWELLS
WE STOP AT THE BEST HOTELS
BUT WE PREFER THE COUNTRY
FAR AWAY FROM THE CITY SMELLS
WE'RE A COUPLE OF SPORTS

THE PRIDE OF THE TENNIS COURTS
IN JUNE, JULY AND AUGUST
WE LOOK CUTE WHEN WE'RE DRESSED IN SHORTS
EILEEN
THE VANDERBILTS HAVE ASKED US UP FOR TEA
JIM
WE DON’T KNOW HOW TO GET THERE
EILEEN
NO SIRRE
JIM hiccups.
BOTH
NO SIREE
WE WOULD SAIL UP THE AVENUE

BUT WE HAVEN'T GOT A YACHT
WE WOULD DRIVE UP THE AVENUE
BUT THE HORSE WE HAD WAS SHOT
WE WOULD RIDE ON A TROLLEY CAR
BUT WE HAVEN'T GOT THE FARE
They play with each other, walking around the piano.
SO WE'LL WALK UP THE AVENUE
YES WE'LL WALK UP THE AVENUE
YES WE'LL WALK UP THE AVENUE
Page 68
'TIL WE'RE THERE

JIM
After you my darling.
EILEEN
Oh, merce boucoup, after you
JIM
Why, thank you very much, No I insist!
EILEEN
Oh, no I insist.
Jim walks around the piano to US, as if he’s going down stairs. EILEEN
follows him and “falls” down the stairs. JIM sits in front of keys. EILEEN
sits at left end of piano on barrel. JIM plays arpeggio. Bad note, then it’s
it three times. He modulates up.
(#52: "EASTER PARADE")

JIM
(To EILEEN who feigns modesty)
NEVER SAW YOU LOOK
QUITE SO PRETTY BEFORE
NEVER SAW YOU DRESSED
QUITE SO LOVELY WHAT'S MORE
I CAN HARDLY WAIT

TO KEEP OUR DATE
THIS LOVELY EASTER MORNING
AND MY HEART BEAT FAST
AS YOU CAME THROUGH THE DOOR
FOR
EILEEN uses hubcap as bonnet.
IN YOUR EASTER BONNET
WITH ALL THE FRILLS UPON IT
YOU'LL BE THE GRANDEST LADY
IN THE EASTER PARADE
GEORGE enters with GINGER from L1, and ALEX enters with SADIE
from R1, and begin strolling in beautiful Easter garb as JIM and EILEEN
leave the piano and begin strolling upstage of them.
(Projections: 5th Avenue)
ADD ALEX AND GEORGE

I'LL BE ALL IN CLOVER
AND WHEN THEY LOOK US OVER
I'LL BE THE PROUDEST FELLOW
IN THE EASTER PARADE
Page 69
LADIES
ON THE AVENUE
ALL
FIFTH AVENUE
THE PHOTOGRAPHERS WILL SNAP US
AND YOU'LL FIND THAT YOU’RE IN THE ROTOTGRAVURE
OH, I COULD WRITE A SONNET
MEN
ABOUT YOUR EASTER BONNET
AND OF THE GIRL I'M TAKING
TO THE EASTER PARADE
JIM and EILEEN stroll to DC imitating and mocking the others.
ALL
ON THE AVENUE
FIFTH AVENUE
THE PHOTOGRAPHERS WILL SNAP US
AND YOU'LL FIND THAT YOU'RE IN THE ROTOTGRAVURE
OH, I COULD WRITE A SONNET
Eileen hooks arms with GEORGE and GINGER hooks arms with Eileen.
GINGER thinks it’s GEORGE.
MEN
ABOUT YOUR EASTER BONNET
ALEX, SADIE EXIT R1, GEORGE, and GINGER exit L1, leaving JIM and
EILEEN on stage.
JIM
AND OF THE GIRL I'M TAKING
TO THE EASTER PAR--
(#52: "LET'S GO SLUMMIN"')
EILEEN
(Grabbing JIM)
LET'S GO SLUMMIN'
TAKE ME SLUMMIN’
LETS GO SLUMMIN’ ON PARK AVENUE!
LET US HIDE
BEHIND A PAIR OF COLORED GLASSES
AND MAKE FACES AS A MEMBER OF THE CLASSES
PASSES
LET'S GO SMELLING
WHERE THEY'RE DWELLING
SNIFFING EVERYTHING THE WAY THEY DO
LET US GO TO IT
Page 70
THEY DO IT
WHY CAN'T WE DO IT, TOO?
LET'S GO SLUMMIN'
NOSE-THUMBIN'
ON PARK AVENUE
Dance Break
During the dance break, EILEEN leads JIM in an energetic and athletic
dance.
JIM
LET'S G0 SLUMMIN'
NOSE-THUMBIN'
ON PARK AVENUE
JIM AND EILEEN
LET US GO TO IT
THEY DO IT
WHY CAN'T WE DO IT, TOO?
LET’S GO SLUMMIN’
NOSE-THUMBIN'
ON PARK AVENUE------------!
JIM and EILEEN dance off L1.
(#54: "LAZY")
(Projections: restore junkyard)
Three piano movers, GEORGE, ALEX and GINGER, enter from R2 and
cross to piano. They make a futile attempt to move it. They look at each
other, GINGER sits on the crate DS of the piano and ALEX X’s SR of
piano with GEORGE SL of piano. And sing.
GEORGE, GINGER AND ALEX

LAZY
I WANT TO BE LAZY
I LONG TO BE OUT IN THE SUN
WITH NO WORK TO BE DONE
UNDER THAT AWNING
I CALL THE SKY
STRETCHING AND YAWING
AND WATCH THE WORLD GO DRIFTING BY
I WANNA PEEP
THROUGH THE DEEP, TANGLED WILDWOOD
COUNTING SHEEP
'TILL I SLEEP
LIKE A CHILD WOULD
WITH A GREAT BIG VALISE FULL
Page 71
OF BOOKS TO READ WHERE IT'S PEACEFUL

WHILE I'M KILLING TIME
BEING LAZY
Instrumental Break
During the instrumental break, the PIANO MOVERS' play the piano, wood
block, Ukulele and kazoo.
I WANNA PEEP
THRU THE DEEP, TANGLED WILD WOOD
COUNTING SHEEP
'TILL I SLEEP
LIKE A CHILD WOULD
WITH A GREAT BIG VALISE FULL
OF BOOKS TO READ WHERE IT'S PEACEFUL
WHILE I'M KILLIN' TIME
BEIN'
GINGER climbs on to the top of the piano and begins to sleep as ALEX
and GEORGE begin to push the piano SL2.
LA ----------
ZY.
They exit pushing piano off L2 on upper platform.
Blackout
Page 72
ACT 2
SCENE 3, A MIDWEST SUMMER STOCK THEATER, LATE 1950’S
We see nothing except for a dimly lit ghost light CS, GEORGE, the
resident summer stock star, steps into his ghost light, and using it as a
mic sings "THE GIRL THAT I MARRY". He sings it a cappella, vocalizing
and adoring himself. As the rest of the lights come up, we see the
Director, ALEX, entering on from L1, ALEX crosses to the table SR. His
assistant, JIM, enters from L1 with a clipboard and the Rolling ladder.
ALEX is a little edgy. He is driven crazy by the daily hordes of hopefuls
that plague him. He is holding auditions for a summer stock production of
"ANNIE GET YOUR GUN". GEORGE, the resident leading man, has
already been cast as FRANK BUTLER. The show was, in fact, chosen as
a vehicle for him. GEORGE is arrogant, cocky and very grand. All of this
is, of course, to mask an ocean of insecurity. He is here to sing with, and
grant final approval of his leading lady.
(Projections: Daytime barn, interior)
GEORGE
THE GIRL THAT I MARRY WILL
HAVE TO BE AS SOFT AND AS
PINK AS A NURSERY.
THE GIRL I CALL MY OWN
WILL WEAR SATINES AND LACES
AND SMELL OF COLOGNE.
ALEX
George
HER NAILS WILL BE POLISHED
AND, IN HER HAIR
SHE’LL WEAR A GARDENIA AND

I’LL BE THERE George
STEAD OF FLITTIN’, I’LL BE

SITTIN’ NEXT TO HER AND
SHE’LL PURR LIKE A KITTEN George!!
GEORGE
(Pause…then very fast)
A DOLL THAT I CAN CARRY, THE
GIRL THAT I MARRY MUST BE.
JIM
(Entering from L1 and crossing to ALEX)
You are going to be thrilled, just what you are looking for, perfect for the show.
GEORGE
You found her?
Page 73
JIM
I sure did, from 1910, looks even older, perfect for you.
GEORGE
(The outraged Prima Donna)
Alex!
ALEX
Yes George?
GEORGE
1910, makes my leading lady almost fifty.
ALEX
(Clearing this up)
George . . . we were talking about the PIANO.
GEORGE
(Trying to cover his embarrassment)
Steinway?
(But then quickly whining)
Alex, my leading lady.
Jim exits SR.
ALEX
Don't worry, George. We'll find you a leading lady. I've got some terrific women lined
up. But the role of Annie Oakley is a difficult role to cast. She's got to sing well.
GEORGE
Right. But not too well.
ALEX
Of course not. She's got to have a strong presence.
GEORGE
Right. But not too strong.
ALEX
Of course not.
JIM
(Entering from DR1 and handing them the coffee)
Cream with sugar. Black with no sugar.
JIM crosses off L1
ALEX
And she's got to be pretty.
GEORGE
Right. But not too--
ALEX
George! This is "ANNIE Get Your Gun", not "FRANK Get Your Gun"!
Page 74
GEORGE
(Embarrassed)
I knew that.
They take a sip of coffee. It's wrong. They switch, SADIE enters from L1
in a flurry, carrying her 8xlO glossy.
SADIE
Alex!
GEORGE
(To ALEX, referring to SADIE)
1910!
ALEX
Sadie, what are you doing here?
SADIE
What do you think I’m doing here? Auditioning!
(Handing him 8XIO)
I'm a singer who moves.
ALEX
Well, then
SADIE
Alex, I think we're mature enough to let bygones be bygones. I’m perfect for the part.
GEORGE
(Whispering to Alex)
No, noo,
(SADIE turns to GEORGE and he acts as if there’s something wrong with his arm.)
Ooo, ooo, ooo.
SADIE
Oh,
GEORGE
Ooo…
SADIE
Oh
JIM
(Entering from DL1)
Piano's coming. It’s gorgeous. Real old. I found it in a junkyard. Can ya believe that?
A junkyard. All those years, all that history . . . and someone was just gonna throw it
away.
Jim exits L.
SADIE
(To ALEX)
Imagine that.
ALEX
Sadie…
Page 75
SADIE
Let me audition, Alex.
ALEX
Sadie, I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to—
SADIE
The past is the past, what's done is done; now siddown and listen to me sing!
ALEX
You're too early. The piano isn't even here yet.
She blows an E flat on a pitch pipe and sings a capella. JIM rolls piano
on from L1. ALEX crosses into house.
(#55: "THERE’S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS")

SADIE
THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS
LIKE NO BUSINESS I KNOW
JIM moves piano upstage of SADIE, who remains oblivious to their
presence. JIM signals to ALEX from US of SADIE that it's here and
"where do you want it?"
ALEX
(Referring to piano)
No, move it up.
JIM moves Piano upstage.
SADIE
(Thinks he's talking to her and sings an octave higher)
ALEX
No, bring it back down.
He does.
SADIE
(A la Lauren Bacall)
THERE’S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS
ALEX
Not too far!
He moves it back up a bit.
SADIE
(Raising the pitch a bit)
ALEX
Good! Now, turn it around.
Page 76
He turns it.
SADIE
(Pivoting in place)
EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS APPEALING
ALEX
Nice cabinet!
SADIE
Thanks!
EVERYTHING THE TRAFFIC WILL ALLOW
The dialogue between ALEX and JIM continues as does SADIE'S
assumption that it's meant for her.
ALEX
What's wrong with the right leg? It looks wobbly.
SADIE
(Checking her leg.)
NOWHERE COULD YOU GET THAT HAPPY FEELING
ALEX
Open it up.
He opens the lid.
SADIE
(Like Merman)
WHEN YOU ARE STEALING
THAT EXTRA BOW
THERE'S NO PEOPLE
LIKE SHOW PEOPLE
ALEX
Let's see those ivories!
SADIE
(Grotesque smile)
THEY SMILE WHEN THEY ARE LOW
JIM accompanies.
ALEX
Move it left.
GEORGE pushes the piano R.
SADIE
(“Shuffling of to Buffalo" L)
EVEN WITH A TURKEY THAT YOU KNOW WILL FOLD
YOU MAY BE STRANDED OUT IN THE COLD
ALEX
No, no, no, the other way!
Page 77
SADIE
("Trenches" moving R)
STILL YOU WOULDN'T TRADE IT
FOR A SACK OF GOLD
LET'S GO ON WITH THE SHOW—
LET’S ---
JIM
(referring to piano)
Old enough?
ALEX
Any older and it'd fall apart!
SADIE
I beg your pardon!
JIM finishes song on piano really fast. JIM motions EILEEN on stage
from R1, He also moves the trunk from R to DS of the piano, JIM sits on
trunk to accompany auditions. EILEEN enters frantically for her audition.
She crosses to SADIE.
ALEX
Sadie, I was talking about the
SADIE
Forget it, Alex. Look, I don’t want any special consideration. I would like to be treated
just like all the other girls.
ALEX
Next!
EILEEN hands Resume and headshot to SADIE and crosses to the piano
and slaps her music down in front of JIM. He plays. Band begins
playing.
(#56: "THEY SAY IT'S WONDERFUL")

EILEEN
(A very stagy audition)
THEY SAY THAT FALLING IN LOVE IS WONDERFUL
A spotlight hits EILEEN
IT'S WONDERFUL
(EILEEN gestures with her left hand and hits JIM)
Sorry.
SO THEY SAY
EILEEN looses her balance and falls on the piano keys.
AND WITH THE MOON UP ABOVE
EILEEN, again gestures with her left hand, but this time JIM ducks and
she misses him.
Page 78
The lights begin to go wacky. The spotlight moves to ALEX.

IT'S WONDERFUL
IT'S WONDERFUL
ALEX
(Toward the light booth blinded by the white spotlight)
Hey! Who's fooling around with the lights?
EILEEN
SO THEY TELL ME
Spotlight lands on SADIE, L, and then changes colors. GEORGE see’s
this and gets into the spot. The spot then moves across the stage.
YOU LEAVE YOUR HOUSE ONE MORNING
AND WITHOUT ANY WARNING
Spotlight moves back to EILEEN
YOU'RE STOPPING PEOPLE
SHOUTING THAT LOVE IS GRAND
GEORGE steps into EILEEN'S light.
EILEEN AND GEORGE

AND
TO HOLD A MAN IN YOUR ARMS
IS WONDERFUL
WONDERFUL
IN EVERY WAY
AS THEY SAY
GINGER enters for her audition from R1 with music, resume and
headshot.
GEORGE
She's perfect!
ALEX
Next!
GINGER hands SADIE her resume.
GINGER
Thanks!
SADIE throws it at ALEX. GINGER crosses to JIM at piano and hands
him her music.
(#57: "ANYTHING YOU CAN DO")

GINGER
ANYTHING YOU CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER
I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU
Page 79
GEORGE
NO YOU CAN'T
GINGER
YES I CAN
GEORGE
NO YOU CAN'T
GINGER
YES I CAN
GEORGE
NO YOU CAN’T
GINGER
YES I CAN! YES I CAN!
GEORGE
ANYTHING YOU CAN BE I CAN BE GREATER
SOONER OR LATER I'M GREATER THAN YOU
GINGER
NO YOU'RE NOT
GEORGE
YES I AM
GINGER
NO YOU’RE NOT
GEORGE
YES I AM
GINGER
NO YOU'RE NOT
GEORGE
YES I AM! YES I AM!
I CAN SHOOT A PARTRIDGE

WITH A SINGLE CARTRIDGE
GINGER
I CAN GET A SPARROW
WITH A BOW AND ARROW
I CAN LIVE ON BREAD AND CHEESE

EILEEN
AND ONLY ON THAT
GINGER
YES!
EILEEN
SO CAN A RAT!
Page 80
EILEEN (CONT'D)
ANYTHING YOU CAN SING
I CAN SING HIGHER
I CAN SING ANYTHING HIGHER THAN YOU
GINGER
NO YOU CAN'T
EILEEN
YES I CAN
GINGER
NO YOU CAN'T
EILEEN
YES I CAN
GINGER
NO YOU CAN’T
EILEEN
YES I CAN
GINGER
NO YOU CAN’T-----
EILEEN
OH YES I CAN-----!
VAMP. They square off.
GINGER
ANYTHING YOU CAN BUY
I CAN BUY CHEAPER
I CAN BUY ANYTHING CHEAPER THAN YOU
EILEEN
FIFTY CENTS
GINGER
FORTY CENTS
EILEEN
THIRTY CENTS
GINGER
TWENTY CENTS
EILEEN
NO YOU CAN’T
GINGER
EILEEN
ANYTHING YOU CAN SAY I CAN SAY SOFTER
Page 81
GINGER
I CAN SAY ANYTHING SOFTER THAN YOU
EILEEN
NO YOU CAN'T
GINGER
YES I CAN
EILEEN
NO YOU CAN'T
GINGER
YES I CAN
EILEEN
NO YOU CAN'T
GINGER
YES I CAN!
(Belting at the top of her lungs)
YES I CAN!!!!
I CAN DRINK MY LIQUOR

FASTER THAN A FLICKER
EILEEN
I CAN DRINK IT QUICKER
AND GET EVEN SICKER
GINGER
I CAN OPEN ANY SAFE
SADIE
WITHOUT BEING CAUGHT?
GINGER
Sure
SADIE
That’s what I thought, you crook!
ANY NOTE YOU CAN HOLD

I CAN HOLD LONGER
SADIE
I CAN HOLD ANY NOTE LONGER THAN YOU
EILEEN
NO YOU CAN’T
SADIE
YES I CAN
GINGER
NO YOU CAN’T
Page 82
SADIE
YES I CAN
GINGER AND EILEEN
NO YOU CAN'T
SADIE
YES I CAN
GEORGE has crossed to ALEX for consultation about his costume, which
he got from ladder.
GINGER AND EILEEN

NO YOU------------
SADIE
(Continuing)
YES I--------- CAN!
GEORGE
(To ALEX)
YES SHE CAN!
A take to GEORGE. They've taken over his song.
SADIE
ANYTHING YOU CAN WEAR I CAN WEAR BETTER
IN WHAT YOU WEAR I LOOK BETTER THAN YOU
EILEEN
IN MY COAT
SADIE
IN YOUR DRESS
GINGER
IN MY SHOES?
SADIE
IN YOUR HAT
EILEEN AND GINGER
NO YOU CAN’T!
SADIE
GINGER
ANYTHING YOU CAN SAY
I CAN SAY FASTER
SADIE AND EILEEN
I CAN SAY ANYTHING FASTER THAN YOU
Page 83
GINGER
NO YOU CAN’T
EILEEN AND SADIE
YES I CAN
GINGER
NO YOU CAN'T
EILEEN AND SADIE
YES I CAN
GINGER
NO YOU CAN'T
ALL 3
(Jumbling together as many as Possible.)
YEESESSESEES I CAN
SADIE
I CAN JUMP A HURDLE
GINGER
I CAN WEAR A GIRDLE
EILEEN
I CAN KNIT A SWEATER
SADIE
I CAN FILL IT BETTER
ALL
I CAN DO MOST ANYTHING
SADIE
Can you bake a Pie?
EILEEN AND GINGER
No.
SADIE
Neither can I
EILEEN
ANYTHING YOU CAN SING
I CAN SING SWEETER
GINGER
I CAN SING ANYTHING SWEETER THAN YOU
SADIE
(Sweet)
NO YOU CAN'T
EILEEN
(Saccharin)
YES I CAN
Page 84
GINGER
(Cloying)
NO YOU CAN'T
SADIE
(Indulgent)
YES I CAN
GINGER AND EILEEN
NO YOU CAN'T
SADIE
YES I CAN
GINGER AND EILEEN
NO YOU CAN'T
SADIE
YES I CAN
GINGER AND EILEEN
(Angry)
NO YOU CAN’T, CAN’T, CAN’T!
SADIE
YES I CAN! CAN! CAN!
ALL
(Screaming divas)
YES I CAN --------- II!!
ALEX
Thank you ladies, I believe I have you on file--
GEORGE Crosses SL as GINGER stops him at L. She’s hoping that
cozying up to the star will help her get the part.
(Projections: shift to night barn, interior)
(#58: "I GOT LOST IN HIS ARMS")

GINGER
DON'T ASK ME JUST HOW IT HAPPENED
I WISH I KNEW
ADD EILEEN
(Crossing to GEORGE, now competing romantically for GEORGE to get the part.)
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT HAPPENED
ADD SADIE
(Falling off the piano, crossing to GEORGE and playing the same game)
AND STILL IT'S TRUE
ALEX is bored and is reading a newspaper.
Page 85
WOMEN
(In 3 part harmony)
I GOT LOST IN HIS ARMS
AND I HAD TO STAY
IT WAS DARK IN HIS ARMS
AND I LOST MY WAY
FROM THE DARK CAME A VOICE
AND IT SEEMED TO SAY
THERE YOU GO
SADIE, US of GEORGE on the ladder, pulls his head back.
THERE YOU GO
HOW I FELT AS I FELL

I JUST CAN'T RECALL
BUT HIS ARMS HELD ME FAST
AND IT BROKE THE FALL
AND I SAID TO MY HEART
AS IT FOOLISHLY KEPT JUMPING ALL AROUND
I GOT LOST
BUT LOOK WHAT I FOUND
They are all romantically surrounding GEORGE. He is in his glory ... until
he sees SADIE'S face next to his. JIM is striking theater trunk off L1, he
re-enters crosses to the piano and moves it DS to its finale spike.
ALEX
Ladies, that was lovely. I’ll be letting people know within the next week.
JIM is striking theater trunk off L1, he re-enters crosses to the piano and
moves it DS to its finale spike
Not ready to give up, they pursue ALEX relentlessly. He is tortured.
(#59: "THE BEST THING FOR YOU")

LADIES
(In tight three-part swing)
I ONLY WANT
WHAT'S THE BEST THING FOR YOU
AND THE BEST THING FOR YOU
WOULD BE ME
I'VE BEEN CONVINCED

AFTER THINKING IT THROUGH
THAT THE BEST THING FOR YOU
WOULD BE ME
ALEX
(To JIM)
Bring me a Bromo! I think I'm getting a second ulcer!
Page 86
JIM exits R1.
LADIES
EVERYDAY
TO MYSELF I SAY
POINT THE WAY
WHAT'LL IT BE?
I ASK MYSELF
WHAT'S THE BEST THING FOR YOU
AND MYSELF AND I SEEM TO AGREE
THAT THE BEST THING FOR YOU
WOULD BE ME
EILEEN
BEST THING FOR YOU WOULD BE ME
GINGER
BEST THING FOR YOU WOULD BE ME
SADIE
BEST THING FOR YOU WOULD BE—
ALEX
Stop!!!!!!!
Silence
Everybody out!
EILEEN exits R1. GINGER grabs costume from ladder and exits L1.
GEORGE crosses gingerly to ALEX with his costume to ask a question.
ALEX
Everybody!!!!
GEORGE exits R2. JIM reenters with Bromo. SADIE takes it from him
and pushes him offstage. She remains on stage unbeknownst to ALEX.
(#60: "YOU'RE JUST IN LOVE" / #61: "OLD FASHIONED WEDDING")

ALEX, on the very edge of a nervous breakdown, sits DC on the lip of the
stage. He tries very hard to hold himself together. He sings.
ALEX
I HEAR SINGING AND THERE'S NO ONE THERE
I SMELL BLOSSOMS AND THE TREES ARE BARE
ALL DAY LONG I SEEM TO WALK ON AIR
I WONDER WHY?
I WONDER WHY?
I KEEP TOSSING IN MY SLEEP AT NIGHT

AND WHAT'S MORE I'VE LOST MY APPETITE
STARS THAT USED TO TWINKLE IN THE SKIES
Page 87
ARE TWINKLING IN MY EYES

I WONDER WHY
SADIE
SADIE Crosses to US of ALEX and hands him the Bromo.
ALEX
(Thinking it’s JIM)
Thank you.
SADIE
YOU DON'T NEED ANALYZING
Realizing it’s SADIE, ALEX goes into shock. The remainder of number is
staged with ALEX trying to escape SADIE’S manipulations.
IT IS NOT SO SURPRISING
THAT YOU FEEL VERY STRANGE BUT NICE
YOU’RE HEART GOES PITTER PATTER
I KNOW JUST WHAT'S THE MATTER
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE
ONCE OR TWICE
PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER

YOU NEED SOMEONE WHO'S OLDER
A RUBDOWN WITH A VELVET GLOVE
THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN TAKE
TO RELIEVE THAT PLEASANT ACHE
YOU'RE NOT SICK
YOU’RE JUST IN LOVE!
ALEX SADIE
I HEAR SINGING YA DON’T NEED ANALYZING
AND THERE'S NO ONE THERE IT IS NOT SO SURPRISING
I SMELL BLOSSOMS THAT YOU FEEL
AND THE TREES ARE BARE VERY STRANGE BUT NICE
ALL DAY LONG YOU’RE HEART GOES PITTER PATTER
I SEEM TO WALK ON AIR I KNOW JUST WHAT'S THE MATTER
I WONDER WHY? BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE
I WONDER WHY? ONCE OR TWICE
I KEEP TOSSING PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER

IN MY SLEEP AT NIGHT YOU NEED SOMEONE WHO'S OLDER
AND WHAT’S MORE A RUBDOWN WITH A VELVET GLOVE
I’VE LOST MY APPETITE THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN TAKE
STARS THAT USED TO TWINKLE TO RELIEVE THAT PLEASANT ACHE
IN THE SKIES YOU'RE NOT SICK
ARE TWINKLING IN MY EYES YOU’RE JUST
I WONDER WHY IN LOVE
(Projections: Blue wash)
Page 88
GEORGE enters from R2 as Frank Butler as GINGER enters from L2

dressed as Annie Oakley. ALEX crosses to the table and sits. SAIDE
crosses to the rolling ladder and sits.
GEORGE
WE'LL HAVE AN OLD-FASHIONED WEDDING
BLESSED IN THE GOOD OLD-FASHIONED WAY
I'LL VOW TO LOVE YOU FOREVER
YOU’LL VOW TO LOVE AND HONOR AND OBEY
SOMEWHERE IN SOME LITTLE CHAPEL
SOMEDAY WHEN ORANGE BLOSSOMS BLOOM
WE’LL HAVE AN OLD-FASHIONED WEDDING
A SIMPLE WEDDING FOR AN OLD-FASHIONED BRIDE
AND GROOM
GINGER
I WANNA WEDDING IN A BIG CHURCH
WITH BRIDES MAIDS AND FLOWER GIRLS
A LOT OF USHERS IN TAILCOATS
REPORTERS AND PHOTOGRAPHERS
A CEREMONY WITH A BISHOP
WHO WILL TIE THE KNOT AND SAY
DO YOU AGREE TO LOVE AND HONOR
LOVE AND HONOR "YES" BUT NOT OBEY
GEORGE GINGER
SOMEWHERE I WANNA WEDDING RING
IN SOME LITTLE CHAPEL SURROUNDED
BY DIAMONDS AND PLATINUM
SOMEDAY A BIG RECEPTION
WHEN ORANGE BLOSSOMS BLOOM AT THE WALDORF
WITH CHAMPAGNE AND CAVIAR
WE’LL HAVE AN OLD-FASHIONED I WANNA WEDDING
WEDDING LIKE THE VANDERBILTS HAD
EVERYTHING BIG NOT SMALL
A SIMPLE WEDDING IF I CAN'T HAVE
FOR AN OLD-FASHIONED THAT KIND OF A WEDDING
BRIDE I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED
AND GROOM AT ALL
The following chorus is sung in four-part counterpoint.
ALEX SADIE GEORGE GINGER

I HEAR... YOU DON'T... WE'LL HAVE... I WANNA
WEDDING...
Etc.
I WONDER WHY? YOU'RE NOT SICK WE'LL HAVE AN IF IT'S NOT A BIG I
YOU'RE JUST IN OLD-FASHIONED DON'T WANNA GET
LOVE WEDDING MARRIED AT ALL
Page 89
(Projections: ANNIE GET YOUR GUN tent drop)
(#62: "THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS")

JIM
(Entering from R1 with EILEEN and crossing to others DC)
THE COSTUMES
THE SCENERY
THE MAKE-UP
THE PROPS
THE AUDIENCE THAT LIFTS YOU WHEN YOU'RE DOWN
ALEX
THE HEADACHES
THE HEARTACHES
THE BACKACHES
THE FLOPS
SADIE
THE SHERIFF WHO ESCORTS YOU OUT OF TOWN
GEORGE
THE OP'NING
WHEN YOUR HEART BEATS LIKE A DRUM
GINGER
THE CLOSING
WHEN THE CUSTOMERS
WON'T COME
ALL
THERE’S NO BUSINESS
LIKE SHOW BUSINESS
EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS APPEALING
EVERYTHING THE TRAFFIC WILL ALLOW
NOWHERE CAN YOU GET THAT HAPPY FEELING
WHEN YOU ARE STEALING
THAT EXTRA BOW
THERE'S NO PEOPLE
LIKE SHOW PEOPLE
EVEN WITH A TURKEY
THAT YOU KNOW WILL FOLD
YOU MAY BE STRANDED
OUT IN THE COLD
STILL YOU WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR A SACK OF GOLD
LET'S GO ON WITH THE SHOW
(Projections: Show Biz searchlights)
Page 90
Stop-time
ALL
SADIE/ALEX
YOU GET WORD BEFORE THE SHOW HAS STARTED
GINGER/GEORGE
THAT YOUR FAVORITE UNCLE DIED AT DAWN
EILEEN/JIM
TOP OF THAT YOUR MA AND PA HAVE PARTED
ALL
YOU'RE BROKEN HEARTED
SADIE
BUT YOU GO ON
ALL
THERE'S NO PEOPLE'LIKE SHOW PEOPLE
GINGER, GEORGE, Exit R1.
YESTERDAY THEY TOLD YOU
YOU WOULD NOT GO FAR
JIM and Eileen exit l1.
THAT NIGHT YOU OPENED
AND THERE YOU ARE
NEXT DAY ON YOUR DRESSING ROOM THEY’VE HUNG A STAR
LET'S GO ON WITH THE SHOW
SADIE
LET’S GO ON WITH THE SHOW---------!
ALEX and SADIE exit R1. Blackout. Electrics pipe flies out.
(Projections: Blackout)
Page 91
ACT 2
FINALE
The piano is in a pool of light in the center of the stage as in the opening
of the show. GINGER is discovered in the light of the piano and sings.
(Projections: Deep blue wash)
(#63: "I LOVE A PIANO")

GINGER
AS A CHILD
I WENT WILD
WHEN THE BAND PLAYED
HOW I RAN
TO THE MAN
WHEN HIS HAND SWAYED
CLARINETS WERE MY PETS
AND THE SLIDE TROMBONE
I THOUGHT WAS SIMPLY DIVINE
BUT TODAY
WHEN THEY PLAY
I COULD HISS THEM
EV'RY BAR
IS A JAR
TO MY SYSTEM
BUT THERE'S ONE MUSICAL INSTRUMENT
THAT I CALL MINE...
PIANO
Piano Plays Melody
GINGER
I LOVE A PIANO
PIANO
Piano Plays Melody
GINGER
I LOVE A PIANO
PIANO
Piano Plays Melody
GINGER
I LOVE TO HEAR SOMEBODY PLAY
UPON A PIANO
A GRAND PIANO
IT SIMPLY CARRIES ME AWAY
Page 92
ADD GEORGE
(Entering from R3)
I KNOW A FINE WAY
TO TREAT A STEINWAY
ADD JIM AND EILEEN
(Entering from L2)
I LOVE TO RUN MY FINGERS
O’ER THE KEYS
ADD ALEX AND SADIE
(Entering from R2)
THE IVORIES
ALL
AND WITH THE PEDAL
I LONG TO MEDDLE
WHEN PADEREWSKI COMES MY WAY
I'M SO DELIGHTED
IF I'M INVITED
TO HEAR THAT LONG-HAIRED GENIUS PLAY
SO YOU CAN KEEP YOUR FIDDLE AND YOUR BOW
GIVE ME A P-I-A-N-O OH! OH!
MEN
I LOVE A PIANO
WOMEN
(Echoing)
I LOVE A PIANO
MEN
I LOVE A PIANO
WOMEN
I LOVE A PIANO
ALL
I LOVE TO HEAR SOMEBODY PLAY
WOMEN
UPON THE PIANO
MEN
UPON THE PIANO
WOMEN
A GRAND PIANO
MEN
A GRAND PIANO
ALL
IT SIMPLY CARRIES ME AWAY
Page 93
I KNOW A FINE WAY

TO TREAT A STEINWAY
I LOVE TO RUN MY FINGERS
O’RE THE KEYS
Piano does a fancy run.
THE IVORIES
Piano does a flourish.
AND WITH THE PEDAL
I LOVE TO MEDDLE
WHEN PADEREWSKI COMES MY WAY
I’M SO DELIGHTED
IF I’M INVITED
TO HEAR THAT LONG-HAIRED GENIUS PLAY
The piano has the final word and hits the two bad notes. The cast crosses
US to the piano acknowledges the piano and EXITS. The piano finishes
the song alone in the pool of light, which fades to black as the music
ends.
(#64: BOWS, "I LOVE A PIANO")

ALL reenter for bows.
ALL
I WANT TO STOP RIGHT
BESIDE AN UPRIGHT
OR A HIGHTONED BABY GRAND
OR A HIGHTONED BABY GRAND---------!!!!
They exit. GEORGE and GINGER L1, JIM and EILEEN R1, SADIE and
JIM R2.
(Projections: Logo)
THE END
Page 94
PROPS LIST
Small upright piano on casters - keys move, not working
Piano Bench
Moving blanket for piano
Bent wood chair
Counter on casters - to be built
Ornate cash register
1910 telephone _ Candlestick type
Rolling rack of sheet music - to be built
Sheet music with painted fronts from Tin Pan Alley
Broken Ukulele
Ladies shoes from 1920's
Various 'Going out of bil5ines8' Signs - to be determined
1920's Megaphone
Cigar
Necklace
Liquor bottles to be hidden inside piano
1930's newspapers
Apple crate for apple Seller apples
Loaf of broad
6 theater seats on casters - to be built
Popcorn boxes
Dance Marathon numbers (costumes)
Army Cot
Pillow
Blanket
Foot looker
Photograph of Eileen in frame Christmas card
Pen
Teddy Bear
Rifle - WWII
Field radio - WWII
Christmas decorations - 1940'5
Small Christmas tree for on top of piano
Radio - inside canteen - tabletop Philco-style
Crate paper
Champagne Bottles
Champagne glasses
Sheet for Piano - white
Captain’s hat
Page 95
Army blanket
Candelabra made from Junk - plumbing fixture hubcap - 1950's serving tray for under
hubcap 2 plates
Platter
Carrot
Hobo bags
2 Paper coffee cups
Theater trunk
Rolling ladder
Practical electrics baton with old Fre5nel$ - to be built
Variety - 1950's
Bomo seltzer in glass of water
Pitch Pipe
Costume Piece, in trunk - cowboy and cowgirl costume with hats
Clipboard
Pencils
Plain sheet music
2-umbrellai3 - black - working, in good shape, 1930's 1-Tattered umbrella - black (or
brown) _ must go inside out 1-limbrella - brown (or blue) in good shape, 1930'5 Rolling
ladder - theatrical 5 - hymnals

I Love A Piano - Perusal

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

You might also like

I Love A Piano - Perusal

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Description:

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

I Love A Piano - Perusal

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Page 1

ALEX Mature, charming and sophisticated, the Authority

SADIE Mature and savvy with an earthy kind of

GEORGE Handsome, romantic, playful. Tries to be suave and

GINGER Brassy, wisecracking June Allison-type.

JIM Young, enthusiastic, happy-go-lucky optimist.

EILEEN Young Judy Garland-type. Naive, romantic,

(MUSICAL NUMBERS CONT’D)

(Projections: Ribbon of piano keys)

House lights to half

(Projections: Kodilith of logo added to center screens)

(OVERTURE: "I LOVE A PIANO")

PIANO MOVER (GEORGE)

PIANO MOVERS (GEORGE)

PIANO MOVER (GEORGE)

ALEXANDER’S MUSIC SHOP, 1910

Stage lights up as OVERTURE continues. ALEX, the proprietor of this

(#2: "LET ME SING AND I'M HAPPY")

AND START YA TAPPIN' YOUR FEET

(#3: "PLAY A SIMPLE MELODY")

(In the MEN’S ears)

(#6: “WHEN THE MIDNIGHT CHOO-CHOO LEAVES FOR ALABAM'”)

(Projections: Street in Brooklyn. Manhattan skyline in background.

GINGER is alone at piano practicing the verse we've just heard. It is

(Projections: Third floor window is lighted and then goes out.)

(Projections: Third floor window is lighted and then goes out.)

GINGER AND GEORGE

(Projections: Central Park bandstand with crowd.)

(Projections: Close-up of Bandstand architecture and foliage)

(Projections: Through the course of the first verse of "PACK UP YOUR

(#8: “PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL”)

IF YOU CARE TO DWELL WHERE THE WEATHER IS HOT

NOTHIN’ ON HIS MIND BUT A COUPLE OF HORNS

NO ONE GIVES A DAMN IF IT’S MUSIC OR NOT

(Projections: During this next verse, as some of the others begin to

(Projections: Liquor bottles)

(#9: “EVERYBODY STEP”)

YOU’LL BE SAYIN’ “YESSIR

LISTEN TO THE PEP

HEAR THAT STRAIN

STEP STEP STEPPIN’ A ROUND

(#10: "EVERYBODY’S DOIN' IT")

(#11: "MANDY", DANCE BREAK)

(#12: "THEY CALL IT DANCING")

SHE CALLS HIM MISTER

(#13: "PACK UP YOUR SINS AND GO TO THE DEVIL", REPRISE)

JONESES AND BROWNS AND HOULIHANS

PACK UP YOUR SINS

(Projections: full yellow wash)

GINGER, SADIE, EILEEN GEORGE, JIM, ALEX

(#14: "SILENT MOVIE MUSIC", PIANO)

(Projections: "CHEEZE IT THE COPS!" inner-title.)

ALL mime saying "CHEEZE IT THE COPS!"

(Projections: Black and white speakeasy interior)

A chaotic chase ensues as the "SILENT MOVIE MUSIC" begins. The

(Projections: Speakeasy exterior.)

(Projections: Chinatown exterior)