Disclaimer

I advise both parties firstly to sincerely fear Allah and

answer truthfully. As we may hide things from people but
we can never hide anything from Allah AzzawaJal.

As Luqman advised his son may Allah be pleased with him,

"O my son! If it be (anything) equal to the weight of a grain

of mustard seed, and though it be in a rock, or in the
heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Verily, Allah
is Subtle (in bringing out that grain), Well-Aware (of its
place).” - Surah Luqman 31:16

Secondly, this PDF is merely a source of inspiration for

women considering or in the process of getting to know
someone for marriage. Please don't be afraid to tailor the
questions to your personal liking and circumstance.

Thirdly, this will NOT guarantee that by this questionnaire

you'll know everything about a person. However, it will give
you a pretty good idea inshaAllah.

All you can do is; tie your camel, make dua, Istikharah &
have trust in Allah.
 TIPS
1. If you can, ask these questions in real
time. Anybody can craft a perfectly
written answer.
2. Make sure you’re able to answer these
questions as well. It takes two to
tango, and marriage aint no different.
3. Take it easy, treat the questionnaire
as an ice breaker and conversational
guide, not an interrogation. We ain't at
the precinct.
4. Do not ask all the questions all at
once. Space it out.

And lastly, as our good sis Maya Angelou

said ‘when somebody shows you who they
are, believe them the first time.’
 Name your top 3 Love
Languages
Words of Affirmation: People that value verbal acknowledgments of
affection, including frequent "I love you's," compliments, words of
appreciation, verbal encouragement, and often frequent digital
communication like texting and social media engagement.

Acts of service: People who prefer to receive acts of service from partners
love to be shown, rather than told, they’re cared for ex. helpful chore for
them, or takes care of a task they’ve been avoiding.

Quality time: People who feel the most adored when their partner actively
wants to spend time with them and is always down to hang out. They
particularly love when active listening, eye contact, and full presence are
prioritized hallmarks in the relationship.

Gifts: People who feel loved when they receive "visual symbols of love." it is
not about the monetary value but the symbolic thought behind the item.
People with this style recognize and value the gift-giving process: the careful
reflection, the deliberate choosing of the object to represent the
relationship, and the emotional benefits from receiving the present.

Physical touch: People who feel loved when they receive physical signs of
affection. Physical intimacy and touch can be incredibly affirming and serve
as a powerful emotional connector for people with this love language.
State your personality type below
The Inspector – ISTJ Personality
The Architect – INTJ Personality
The Giver – ENFJ Personality
The Artist – ISFP Personality
The Crafter -- ISTP Personality
The Advocate -- INFJ Personality
The Mediator -- INFP Personality
The Commander - ENTJ Personality
The Debater -- ENTP Personality
The Performer -- ESFP Personality
The Caregiver -- ESFJ Personality
The Protector -- ISFJ Personality
The Thinker -- INTP Personality
The Director -- ESTJ Personality
The Champion - ENFP Personality
The Persuader -- ESTP Personality

if you don't know, visit https://www.16personalities.com/

 Circle your top 5 character
traits that best describes you

Honest Brave Compassionate Leader

Courageous easygoing Loyal Hard-working
Independent Selfish Responsible Considerate
Self-confident Humble timid free-spirited
sarcastic stubborn reliable meticulous
talkative Reserved studious empathetic
optimistic selfless humorous intelligent Bold
self-aware sensitive imaginative forgiving
focused insightful witty Ambitious gentle
persistent assertive compassionate
cooperative Creative energetic flexible open-
minded playful thoughtful patient Careful
modest trustworthy private thorough
reasonable articulate Clever mature
competitive risk-taker wise adventurous
friendly athletic nurturing Dreamer lazy
gullible skeptical critical extravagant
 Circle your top 3
personal core values
(TO GET A SENSE OF WHAT YOUR CORE VALUES ARE,
ASK YOURSELF WHAT ACTIVITIES BRING YOU THE
MOST JOY, OR WHAT YOU COULDN’T LIVE WITHOUT.
WHAT GIVES YOUR LIFE MEANING OR WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO ACHIEVE.. ETC)

Generosity Integrity Loyalty Honesty

Reliability Education Sincerity Self-control
Peacefulness Faithfulness Patience
Determination Fitness Persistence Fairness
Cooperation Tolerance Optimism
Commitment Spirituality Service to others
Environmentalism Patriotism Creativity
Efficiency Passion Spirit of adventure Good-
Humour Respect Consistency Positivity
 Islamic related Q's
1. How many prayers do you pray in the masjid?
2. Do you trim your beard?
3. Do you pray all your five prayers?
3. What are the five pillars of Islam?
4. Are you somebody that pays zakat?
5. Do you fast in Ramadan?
6. Do you believe niqab is wajib?
7. What do you do to feel close to Allah (swt)?
8. How do you hope to get closer to Allah (swt) through
marriage?
9. What do you want to improve about yourself Islamically?
10. To what extent are you involved in the Islamic
community?
11. Have you been to Hajj or Umrah?
12. When would you like to go?
11.How important do you think is it to only eat Halal meat?
12. How important do you think is it for women to wear
hijab?
13. How do you like to celebrate religious holidays?
14. Do you go for jummah prayers?
15. Do you see yourself making hijrah (moving) from the west
or staying here for good?
16. Where do you see yourself raising your children?
17. How do you deal with low Imaan?
18. What is one thing within your character that you are
sincerely trying to rectify for the sake of Allah?
19. What is your relationship with the Quran like?
20. What is a Sunnah that you want to implement but have
difficulty doing so?
21.What are your views on female and male platonic
relationships after marriage?
22. Who are your favourite Islamic speakers that you
personally learn from?
23. How important is it to you in creating an islamic
household in your future home?
24. To the best of your abilities describe what an Islamic
household looks like to you.
25. Do you see yourself practicing polygamy in the
future?
26. Are you educated on the rights of Husband and
Wife? If so can you name a few and it’s importance in a
marriage.
27. If there ever comes a time where we are tested with
marital issues would you be comfortable in seeing a
marriage counselor? If not, why?
28. Do you take time to seek Islamic knowledge in your
spare time?
29. How does your deen contribute to your role as a
Husband and a Father?
30. What are your views on ribaa (loans)?
31. Do you have a credit card?
32. What are your views on taking out a mortgage? etc..
33. If there ever comes Islamic disagreement how do
you go about giving advice?
34. Which masjid do you go to?
35. If I asked you to name three people that knew you
best, who would you name?
The Courting
stage Q's
1.How long do you see yourself talking to someone for
marriage?
2. Ideally when do you want to get married? Give me a rough
timeline
3. What are your expectations in terms of communications
while getting to know one another? Would you prefer we talk
everyday, every other day, once a week, twice a week etc…
4. What process do you want to use to determine whether
you have found the right spouse? Phone? E-mail?
Chaperoned or unchaperoned in person?
5.How can we avoid speaking late at night?
6. How important is it to you to have a third party involved?
7. How soon would you like us to get my father involved?
8. Are you expecting that whilst we’re getting to know each
other for marriage that I consider nobody else in the
process? (before families get involved)
9. Do you have any other expectations in the courting stage?
10. Would you be interested in taking islamic classes relating
to marriage (i.e fiqh of marriage etc..) or attend premarital
counselling?
 FINANCIAL Q'S
1. How much debt do you have?
2. How much are we willing to spend on our parents if they get sick?
3. How much will we spend to get fertility treatments or adopt if we
have trouble conceiving?
4. Who will be in charge of paying the bills?
5. How much do you think vacations should cost?
6. Have you ever declared bankruptcy?
7. Do you want to pay for more education in the future?
8. Do your parents pay for any of your current bills?
9. Do you currently owe money to any friends?
0. Do you have any money currently saved?
11. Do you save money at the beginning or the end of the month?
12. How do you like to spend your “fun money”?
13. How much do you want to save for an emergency?
14. Do you want our kids to go to public or private school?
15. Would you rather invest in a house, or invest in experiences, like
traveling?
16. Would you seek financial counseling if we decide we need it?
17. Do you plan on paying for our children’s college education?
18. Is your credit situation in good standing?
19. Who will hold the financial responsibility?
20. What are your financial goals? Short and long term
21. Will we have joint accounts or separate?
22. How much are you willing to spend on a wedding if we decide to have
one?
23. How much should be paid out in maher (dowry)? Up front versus
deferred?
25. What would be your top five criteria for developing a financial plan?
26. How will you determine how much should be spent on the
household? On personal items? On charity?
27. How much should either person be able to spend by themselves
without consulting the other?
 Marriage Q's
1.Why do you want to get married? Explain why.
2.Have you ever been married before?
3.What are your non-negotiables? Explain why
4.Do you like traveling?
a) Are you open to your partner traveling without you? With friends etc.
b) Are you okay with your wife traveling out of town for a wedding
(friends/family)?
5. In regards to the division of household duties; what role are you
comfortable with taking on? Explain why.
6. If both parties are working, how would you go about handling
household affairs?
7. If you have kids and are working, how would you go about handling
household duties?
8. Are you willing to understand and apply your partner's love
languages?
9. What would you consider as milestones or achievements in your
marriage?
10. Share three best pieces of advice about marriage you’ve ever been
told and benefited from? (ask them to also name three worst advices
they’ve ever heard)
11. What has been the hardest obstacle you’ve faced thus far in life? How
has it affected you?
12. If there was one thing you would like to change about yourself, what
would it be?
13. What are your goals for this life? What would you like to accomplish
before you die?
14. What are your expectations of your spouse and as a mother?
15. What are you like when you get upset? (silent treatment, throw
things, punch the wall, walk away, leave the house, etc.)
16. if your spouse has a different way of processing their emotions than
you how will go about handling that problem?
17. What are your pet peeves?
 Family related Q's
1.What do you think parents/extended family’s role should be in
making important decisions: wedding planning, child rearing,
vacations, where you will live?

2.What would you do if there is a conflict between your spouse

and your family?

3.Are you comfortable living with extended family, particularly as

they age? Are other accommodations possible?

4.What are your thoughts about in-laws moving in because of

caregiving needs? ( For example; when either parents might
require care in old age in the future)

5.How much time do you anticipate spending with your extended

family, in person or by phone?

6.How would you describe the character of your family members?

7. What have you learned from observing your family that you do
or do not want to incorporate into your marriage?

8. What kind of relationship would you like your spouse to have

with your family?

9. Are there family traditions like weekly get-togethers at your

families house that we’d have to attend if we were married?

10. What role do you think parents should play in helping to select
your spouse? How involved are they?
 Career
1. What career path do you plan on taking?
2. Will both husband and wife work outside the home?
3. Under what conditions would you be willing to move to further
you or your spouse’s professional growth?
4. How much time do you spend at work?
5. .How do you plan to balance time at work and time with the
family?
6. What kind of business functions will you ask each other to
host/attend?
7. Would you encourage/support the idea of me going back to
school for advanced degrees?
8. How would we support ourselves if we both had to be in school?

Infidelity/dishonesty
1. What are your views on infidelity? (What do you consider as
cheating?)
2. What is your experience with families with a second wife?
3. Will infidelity automatically end the marriage?

Social life
1. How much time do you want to spend with friends? By yourself?
2. As a couple, how would you feel about your spouse having
friends with the opposite gender?
Children
1. How many children do you want to have?
2. When do you think you’ll be ready to have children?
3. How will you distribute responsibility for child rearing?
4. What do you think is important to teach children?
5. What is your view on raising children? Do you spank?
6. To what extent would you be willing to utilize family members,
friends, babysitters or daycare to watch your children?
7. How will you ensure your children have a good Islamic
education?
8. What would you do if you/or I could not have children?
9. Do you want your children to grow up bilingual? If so, in what
languages?

House
1. How do you feel about cleanliness, neatness and housework?
2. How do you feel about knick knacks and artwork?
3. Who is responsible for work around the house?
4. What are the household chores you are used to doing
5. Have you ever lived alone? Have you ever had a roommate?
6. Have you always lived with your parents?
7. How do you feel about pets?
8. What are your preferences in terms of food?
9. Mostly from your own ethnic group, or a more diverse palate?
10. Only home-made, or also convenience or from restaurants?
11. Meat or vegetarian?
12. If we were both working and we both got home about the
same time, would you expect the wife to always be the cook?
13. How do you feel about smoking?
Intimacy
1. How important is intimacy in a marriage?
2. Name some of your personal boundaries
3. How would you like your spouse to show up for you
intimately?
4. What are your thoughts on weekly/biweekly date nights to
reconnect?
5. What are the character traits you admire in others?
6. How can I make it easier to discuss problems or areas of our
life that are uncomfortable to you?
7. In terms of intimacy, how important is it when it comes to
pleasing your wife?
8. If your spouse is not in the mood to be intimate but the other
partner is, how would you go problem solving this?
9. How would you go about making your spouse feel more
confident with their body image?
10. What is your point of view when it comes to consent?
11. How important is foreplay to you?
12. Do you think marital rape exists?
Found it helpful?
let us know!

@TheDigitalsisterhood

@TheDigitalSH

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