WELLBEING • MINDFULNESS • CREATIVIT Y • ESCAPE

Breathe
and make time for yourself

Rooted in nature Message in a bottle Face values In and out of hope See the world your way
Sculptural moments Strength to strength Cultivated pleasures Reading room For your eyes only
WELCOME Do you have hope? Hope for a personally fulfilling or different future,
maybe, or that friends and family will enjoy healthy and happy
lives? Perhaps the intention is broader still, a hope that kindness and
understanding take root across the world and bring equality and justice
to all its citizens.

It’s not always easy to carry such desires, especially when life gets tough.
Obstacles can’t always be shifted, after all, no matter how much effort
is exerted or pressure placed upon them, and moments of sadness or
despair are as much a part of life for the hopeful as they are for those
where its presence can be capricious or non-existent.

Hope is complicated and it is sometimes misplaced. But it can also be

motivating, bringing a belief that ambitions can be achieved, inequalities
addressed and lives made more meaningful. And in this way it can drive
change both for the individual and society. A volunteer who gives his
time and dedication to conservation projects, a grieving mother who
grants permission for her son’s organs to give others a better chance of
life, a social campaigner who strives to get more more representative
literature on school bookshelves.

Even those who are generally confident of a positive outcome will,

however, have times where hope fades. It’s not a static, unchanging
feature – it’s prone to the whims of others, it’s dependent on
circumstances and it’s forever at the mercy of what life decides to send
along. When those times come and hope is scarce, try to recall previous
adversities that were overcome, conflicts that were resolved, goals that
were met in the face of stiff opposition.

Falling in and out of hope is human, and how and when it’s used is a
personal decision. But regardless of whether its definition is narrow or
broad, it need not be a solo path, and if it’s disappearing out of view and
you’d like it back, reach out – you’re not alone.

COVER ARTIST
Joanne Ho is a self-taught artist and illustrator from Auckland, New Zealand. She loves to paint
colourful and fun scenes that depict places where she would want to be right now. To find out
more and view her portfolio, visit helobirdie.com.
CONTENTS
BREATHE ISSUE 39

WELLBEING
6 Precious kindness
There are many gifts we can bestow and
receive, but the most valuable are surely
those that contribute to life itself
LIVING
30 A simple treat?
Whether it’s sweet or savoury and
however it’s topped, the scone is not
something to be half-baked

Breathe (ISSN 2397-9747) is published by

GMC Publications Ltd, 86 High Street, 10 Face values 34 Message in a bottle
Lewes, East Sussex BN7 1XN Exploring the sometimes surprising Distilling the complicated world of
Tel: +44 (0) 1273 477374 reasons many of us wear make-up and fragrance into a more straightforward
what to do if it becomes a crutch guide to understanding your perfect scent
For editorial enquiries, email:
hello@breathemagazine.com
14 Your moves 38 Little lifts
For article and illustration Unexplained aches and pains with no Ten super-quick mood boosters
submissions, go to: discernible root cause? You might like
breathemagazine.com/submissions
to try the Alexander Technique 42 Spread the word
Editorial: Catherine Kielthy, Breathe follows one woman’s mission to
Samhita Foria, Jane Roe 18 Just the job bring more inclusivity to schools and
Design: Jo Chapman How to reframe feelings of dissatisfaction bookshelves around the country
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at work to shift perspective and align your
Production: Jim Bulley
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Distribution: Seymour Distribution Ltd Comical, cute and clever – just three
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Subscription enquiries: Extending meditation practice can house pets
T: +44 (0) 1273 488005 or benefit the physical self just as much
pubs@thegmcgroup.com as it does mental health 50 Rooted in nature
Going back to basics on a working holiday
To subscribe online, go to:
breathemagazine.com/subscribe 24 In dreams might be just the antidote to stressful
Tapping into the wisdom of the modern-day living
Views and comments expressed by individuals do
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2
MINDFULNESS
56 In and out of hope
Discover the meaning behind this state
of mind and why there might be more
to it than first meets the eye
60 Strength to strength
Every relationship has its own balance of
power, often shifting with the dynamic
itself, but what happens when one party
is unhappy with its given role?
64 Sculptural moments
How expectations of self and others can
have a direct effect on behaviour
68 Driving in neutral
Taking an impartial view in less-than-
ideal situations can help transform
negative feelings and bring greater control
72 For your eyes only
Why is crying in public still such a taboo
in many societies?
facebook.com/justbreathemagazine • breathemagazine.com • instagram.com/justbreathemagazine
CREATIVITY
78 Small works
The microscopic art that’s having a big
impact in the creative world
82 Post script?
A personal plea to hang on to the joys and
mysteries to be found in handwriting
86 Put your records on
The most character-revealing memories
are often linked to music and sharing
them with family can strengthen bonds
and shine a fresh light on those you love
90 Cultivated pleasures
From colours to textures to layers, a
mooch around the nation’s gardens offers
a wealth of creative inspiration, so pack
your notebook and pen when visiting
94 Reading room
Struggling to put aside time to get
lost in a good book? Here’s how to
consciously nurture a regular routine
ESCAPE
98 See the world your way
How journalling alongside your travels
can enhance your enjoyment of each
102 Organic earth
Some of our favourite submissions from
2020’s World Nature Photography Awards
108 Island life
Sit back and enjoy the ebb and flow
of Florida’s magical Keys
112 Natural beauty
They’ve captured the human spirit
throughout millennia, but what is it about
rainbows that makes them so enchanting?
116 Of myth and magic
The concluding part of our series
exploring mysterious tales and the
real-world locations that inspired them
120 About face
It’s often easier to lose patience with a
faceless stranger than a person standing
in front of you, but they’re both equally
as human and fallible as you are
3
 WELLBEING

‘Tomorrow belongs to those who can hear it coming’

David Bowie
 Precious kindness
Generosity can be just as rewarding for the benefactor as
for the receiver. But what if you could offer the gift of life?
When it comes to kindness and compassion, the health benefits
of giving are measurable. Studies have shown that people who
practise generosity report lower stress levels, improved social
connections, a stronger sense of purpose and better mental
health. It seems that being the giver really can be just as
rewarding as being on the receiving end, as in the well-known
saying: ‘It’s better to give than to receive.’ In one Japanese
study, researchers concluded that happy people become happier
through kindness. So, what if you could give the ultimate gift?
Surely the most precious of all is the gift of life. The good news
is that you can – it’s making a commitment to be a regular
blood donor, registering as a stem cell or bone marrow donor or
making sure your loved ones know your wishes with regards to
organ donation.
Mood benefits
There’s a warm glow to be gained from popping along to your
local blood donation centre or carrying an organ donor card,
especially when you know that, according to the UK’s NHS
Blood and Transplant Service, just one donation of blood
can save up to three lives. For the giver, the altruistic act can
be enough. You’re literally a lifesaver. And signing on to an
organ donor or stem cell register couldn’t be easier – in many
instances it’s possible to do it online, without even leaving your
house. There’s also something particularly special about the
act of giving anonymously. With blood, stem cell and organ
donation, it’s likely that you’ll never know who you’re helping,
so you are giving simply for the pure act of giving.
Altruistic giving can result in what researchers call a helper’s
high, where the body is flooded with endorphins and the feel-
good hormones oxytocin and serotonin. Entrepreneur David
Jamilly is founder and chief executive of an organisation called
Kindness UK, which celebrates and encourages acts of kindness.
He says the act of giving blood or signing onto a donor register
could provide a longer-lasting helper’s high because it taps into
a deeper level, spiritually and psychologically. David explains:
‘The nature of life is reciprocal – giving makes life flourish.
6
Giving the gift of life is connecting on the deepest level that
we can. It’s a profound act. If you’re feeling down and you’re
able to go out to a blood donor centre and make a donation,
for example, then that act could set you back on the track of
positivity. We all know the old adage that to help ourselves we
need to help others – it works by shifting the emphasis away
from any negativity you’re feeling about yourself and taking
positive action to give something to someone else instead.
It can turn your day around.’
How does it work?
There are three main ways to give the gift of life: blood
donations, stem cell or bone marrow donations and organ
donations. The first two are given by live donors and the third
is most commonly a decision made by patients or their families
to come into effect after death (although kidneys and some liver
transplants also come from live donors). Being a blood donor is
perhaps the easiest first step. Many countries operate a system
that is simple to access and have a list of criteria they expect
donors to meet. Some, such as the US and Germany, pay
their donors, while in others, including Australia and the UK,
it is illegal to receive any financial compensation.
Signing onto a stem cell or bone marrow register is also
surprisingly easy – usually requiring only a mouth swab. One
such register is run by international charity DKMS (Deutsche
Knochenmarkspenderdatei, or German Bone Marrow Donor
File), which has an impressive 10 million potential donors
already signed up across the UK, Germany, Poland, the US,
ILLUSTRATIONS: ELEANOR HARDIMAN
India, Chile and South Africa. Would-be donors can go online
to request an information pack, do a cheek swab at home and
return it in the post.
Charity spokeswoman Reshna Radiven explains that stem
cell and bone marrow donors need to be a close DNA match to
their recipient. She says: ‘There may only be one or two people
in the world who are a perfect match to a patient in need of a
transplant, so imagine how it would feel if you were that match.
We operate in seven countries globally, so you could save the
7
 life of a stranger on the other side of the world. That’s a pretty
special opportunity to help another person, and the actual
donation process will likely only take a day of your time. For
blood cancer patients, a stem cell or bone marrow transplant is
their last chance. They’ve run out of options. The chances are
so slim to find a match for them and you could be that person
who saves their life.’
Organ donation is perhaps the most complex way to give
because, depending on where you live, it can require consent
from families and might clash with cultural or religious beliefs.
The way these services work varies and will depend on where
8
you live. In some countries, including the UK, organ donation
is run on an opt-out system, meaning consent is presumed
unless a person withdraws it. Other countries have opt-in
systems where citizens can make the decision to sign onto a
donor register or carry an organ donor card. The World Health
Organisation, in partnership with the Spanish Organización
Nacional de Trasplantes, keeps a Global Observatory on
Donation and Transplantation. Its latest data, from 2018, shows
that there were 146,840 organs transplanted worldwide – that’s
17 transplants every hour. In its 2020 transplant newsletter, the
Observatory states that kidneys are the organs most frequently

transplanted – with 36 per cent being taken from live donors.
Livers were the next most common, with 19 per cent from
live donors (part of the organ is donated in these cases). Then
came heart, lung and pancreas transplants, respectively. Sadly,
its data also shows that there are many thousands of people
around the world on waiting lists, and many die while waiting
for an organ donation.
If you’ve never considered donation before, you can find
out about the systems in place for blood, stem cells, bone
marrow or organs where you live by asking at your local health
centre or doing an internet search. Blood donation typically
A PERSONAL STORY
One person who has first-hand experience of the
value of organ donation is Lily El Darawy, from
Hamilton, Scotland. When her 13-year-old son Daryl
died, after being hit by a motorbike in February
2009, she made the heart-wrenching decision to
donate his organs to help others. Today, she counts
one of the recipients, Cara Hearst, from London, as
a close friend and was even guest of honour at her
wedding in November 2019. Cara was just 18 when
she suffered liver failure in 2009 and a transplant
using Daryl’s liver saved her life.
Lily says: ‘Daryl’s death robbed me of so many
milestones. I knew I’d never see him get married.
But thanks to organ donation, I was able to be
part of Cara’s special day instead. When he died
and I was asked if I’d like to donate his organs, I
felt that if I could save someone else’s family from
going through the same agony, then Daryl’s death
wouldn’t be a waste. Making that decision, to give
the gift of life to people like Cara, has brought me so
much joy – even in the face of tragedy.’
takes less than an hour of your time, while you can often join
other registers online or via post. So, if you need a lift today,
consider giving the ultimate gift to a stranger.
Words: Jade Beecroft
If you want to donate your organs after death, it’s vital you make
your wishes known to your loved ones and check out the relevant
register or donation system in your home country. You might also
wish to have a conversation with your parents, partner or children.
Visit kindnessuk.com to make a kindness pledge.
9
 ‘For beautiful eyes, look for the
good in others, for beautiful lips,
speak only words of kindness’
AUDREY HEPBURN
Face values
It can be creative, colourful and confidence-boosting, but it also has the capacity
to become a chore and a crutch – welcome to the complicated world of make-up
Foundation, mascara, eyeliner, lipstick… those who use
cosmetics usually have their favourite products and routines
for applying them. But how many genuinely enjoy the process
of making up? Of course, there are lots who do and see it as
a welcome part of their morning routine, but can make-up
become such a habit or emotional crutch that the thought of
going out in public without it, or even pottering around the
garden fresh-faced, would be difficult to contemplate?
Attitudes to make-up can be reflected in some of the phrases
associated with it. Consider ‘putting my face on’ – does it imply
that your own face is not good enough? Or the term ‘beat
face’ (make-up that looks immaculate from all angles) – with
its connotations that it needs ‘beating’ into better shape, like
a blacksmith hammering smooth a metal sheet. ‘War paint’,
meanwhile, implies doing battle with the world.
Examining why people wear make-up, a 2008 study found
that participants gave two primary reasons: for camouflage –
to fit in and be less noticeable – and for seduction – to be more
confident, social and assertive. Added to this was pressure
to conform to society’s standards of beauty or attractiveness
in order to succeed at work or in relationships. This is partly
cultural but also evolutionary, and it can drive a desire to hide
behind a facade as well as a wish to attract a partner.
Apart from anything else, applying cosmetics can be time-
consuming. A 2014 survey by American talk show Today found
10
women in the US spent an average of 6.4 hours a week (around
a fortnight each year) on personal grooming, the figure for
men was 4.5 hours. The study also discovered that participants
who used make-up for camouflage had low levels of self-
confidence and used it as a tool to disguise (self-perceived)
flaws in their appearance.
The #nomakeupselfie social media campaign of 2014
highlighted how unusual it was for women in many cultures
not to wear cosmetics in photos on their personal social-media
feeds. It’s unknown how the hashtag actually came to be and
went so viral, but many UK newspapaers reported that it was
set up by then 18-year-old Fiona Cunningham from Stoke-
on-Trent in Staffordshire and raised £8million for charity.
After the event, Fiona praised those who had contributed their
unadorned images: ‘The women who have done it are so brave
in a world that expects us to wear make-up constantly.’
For some, however, the pressure to appear flawless remains
strong, whether it’s the need to disguise under-eye shadows,
mask wrinkles, cover up moles or spots or to enhance other
facial features. And while it might have traditionally been
considered a female preserve, its use is becoming more popular
with men. MMUK Man, a make-up brand marketed towards
men, estimated that one in three UK males were using a
cosmetic product, such as concealer, beard filler or brow
gel, by the end of 2020. If this means gender stereotypes are
11
 ‘Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself’
COCO CHANEL
being challenged, that’s a good thing, but perhaps less so if it’s
suggestive of low self-esteem and a need to be accepted.
The idea of wearing make-up to attract a partner has also
been questioned. A 2014 study, published in The Quarterly
Journal of Experimental Psychology, explored how men and
women responded to cosmetics in terms of attractiveness
and concluded that: ‘There are a variety of miscalibrations…
often, what one sex thinks the opposite sex finds attractive is
incorrect.’ The researchers took pictures of women at various
stages while they were making up their faces, which they
then showed to a group of men and women. On average, men
thought the subjects looked best when they were wearing 60 per
cent of the eventual make-up they applied, and women judged
them to look their best at around 75 per cent, so in this context
perhaps less is more.
At its most basic level, make-up is a coloured substance used
for altering appearance and, thought of as paint, it can be fun to
12
wear, offer the opportunity to play with shades and
be creative, and be a means of expressing personality. In
the same vein, personal grooming is a form of self-care,
and pampering and makeover sessions can be joyful solo
experiences or welcome opportunities to chat and bond
with friends. These are positive moments where make-up
is an active choice and brings enjoyment.
Whether to use cosmetics – and how much to apply – is
complex and everyone’s reasons and preferences will be
different. If it feels like it might have become a daily habit,
ILLUSTRATIONS: KATE STYLING
however, rather than a deliberate and active choice, it might be
helpful to consider why you use it and if you really like wearing
it. Self-care is healthy and there are many things, including
meditation, exercise or massage, that can boost confidence
and bring a natural, healthy glow. The important thing is that
self-care options are personal decisions, they’re practised or
worn by you – and you get to say how much you need.
TIME FOR A RETHINK?
Ask yourself if you would be happy leaving the house (or joining
an online meeting) without make-up. If the answer’s no, you
could consider exploring your reasons for wearing it and maybe
even see if you could go without for a week or two. Initially, it
might seem daunting, especially if you use cosmetics every day,
but you might be surprised at some of the benefits:

• It will serve as a reminder that friends want to see you (and

they will still want to spend time with you) because they enjoy
and look forward to your company, regardless of whether you’ve
applied purple eyeshadow, layered on blue mascara or opted for
a swish of pink lipstick.

• There’ll be at least an extra 10 minutes in the morning,

which you could spend in bed or use to write in a journal, read,
meditate or just gaze out of the window. It could even mean you
have time for a brisk start-the-day walk.

• It will give you time just to smile at yourself when you look in
the mirror. It’s the single most transformative act a person can
do to their face and it’s a quick and easy mood-boosting exercise,
as it releases the feel-good hormones dopamine and serotonin.

• It can help to rekindle a sense of fun and more purpose when,

post make-up mini-break, you next dip into your cosmetics bag.

Words: Holly Farrell

13
 Your moves
As well as helping you to move well and live better, it can bring
positive emotional changes. Welcome to the Alexander Technique
Have you ever stopped to consider the root cause of an ache
or pain? Or that your stiff shoulder, bad back or throbbing
headache might be triggered by unconscious, habitual
reactions? Physical responses to stress can become so automatic
you become oblivious to them. Discomfort or pain can result,
appearing to have come from nowhere.
This is where the Alexander Technique comes in. The
practice teaches you to stop, and take a step back. It can offer
an empowering toolbox, enabling you to notice how you react,
how you move, how you are. Through repeated observation, it
is possible to identify involuntary traits that could cause or be
causing a problem. Once acknowledged, these can be unlearned
and replaced with preferable habits.
Conscious control
Effortlessness is the key. By gradually increasing your
awareness, it’s possible to bring unconscious habits, which
might be causing distress, into the conscious realm and thereby
control them. Mind and body are seen as inseparable in the
Alexander Technique, which has the concept of psychophysical
unity (the relationship between your internal and external
worlds) at its core. By avoiding fixed habits, and making
constructive, conscious choices, students can return to the ease
and balance that’s second nature to children, and move in a
more fluid way – as nature intended.
‘We start to exercise a far greater level of self-determination,’
says Alexander Technique teacher and professional singer
Lindsay Wagstaff. ‘If you have a bad back, say, instead of just
14
accepting it, you question what might be the cause. Choosing
how to be leads to greater comfort and ease physically, but also
mentally and emotionally.’ Lindsay says that anyone can employ
the technique: ‘It’s for anybody and all ages.’ She says if someone
has restricted mobility, for example, ‘it can help them be more
comfortable within their range of movement’.
Contrary to popular belief, the technique’s focus is not about
enforcing posture. ‘Good poise is a therapeutic side effect,’ she
says. ‘Posture implies being fixed, and that’s the last thing we
are designed for. It’s more about using ourselves well through
adaptability, balance and movement. And that movement might
be very tiny, very subtle.’ The idea is to allow your attention
to be drawn to what you do and how you do it, to keep it in the
spotlight, then allow desirable change to happen intuitively.
Simply by noticing over and over again it’s possible to let go of
superfluous tension.
Dramatic origins
Frederick Matthias Alexander, who devised the technique,
had been a promising young actor in Tasmania in the late
19th century until he began to experience vocal difficulties
that threatened to undermine his acting career. Doctors could
find nothing medically wrong with him, so, for several years,
he observed himself, using mirrors, to establish the cause. He
noticed that when he came to give a recital, his neck would
tighten, his head tilt back, and he’d gasp for air. He also noted
an overall tension in his body. Through conscious control, he
overcame these restrictions. His voice improved, as did his
15
 stage presence, and he went on to establish the basic principles
of the Alexander Technique. Doctors were so impressed by his
results that they referred patients with respiratory problems
to him. He soon became known as ‘The Breathing Man’. In
1904, Alexander moved to London and started teaching his
techniques. His pupils included George Bernard Shaw, the
playwright and critic, and writer Aldous Huxley. He also taught
Dick and Elisabeth Walker, who trained Lindsay Wagstaff.
Today Lindsay teaches on a one-to-one basis at her private
practice in Bushey, Hertfordshire, and is a resident teacher
at the Royal College of Music. She was introduced to the
Alexander Technique aged 14, at the specialist music school
she attended, where it was taught in groups. She was struck by
its impact on her fellow pupils, one boy in particular. ‘After the
teacher had finished working with him, he sat at the piano and
all this extraordinary music came out of him,’ she says. ‘It was
really dramatic, as though the teacher had gathered up all his
energy and given it back to him. It gives me goose pimples to
think of it.’
Move freely
Improved performance is a welcome consequence of the
practice, which can also be a catalyst for positivity in many
aspects of daily life. ‘The mental benefits can include increased
calmness, clearer thinking and better choice-making,’ says
Lindsay, whose students are often referred by a GP. Many
suffer from headaches, but people also go to her with back or
neck problems, muscular issues or anxiety. ‘It’s not a medical
intervention, but it has huge health benefits,’ she says.
Of major importance is the relationship between the head
and the rest of the body, and inappropriate tightening of
the neck muscles. Allowing the neck to be free is one of the
key precepts Alexander pupils learn. Having the head at an
awkward angle, especially for a sustained period, inevitably
takes its toll on the spine and on other parts of the body. ‘If
16
the head is out of balance on top of the spine, that will affect
everything else in our functioning,’ says Lindsay.
Lying down semi-supine (on your back with knees bent – see
above and right) is a way of mindfully relaxing while allowing
the body to rebalance. In this position, you have a chance to
stop, think and breathe. You can practise this on your own,
but tuition can also help you to develop an awareness of
unconscious habits. ‘Students are taken through everyday
movements – from standing up to sitting down – and shown
how to perform these with no more tension than is needed,
and greater ease, flexibility and freedom,’ says Lindsay. An
Alexander Technique teacher’s role is to steer not to provide
a quick fix. ‘I guide people,’ she says. ‘It’s the pupil who works
toward making the changes they want to make.’
People are creatures of habit and it takes self-scrutiny
and tenacity to avoid old habits and create new patterns of
behaviour. ‘Being unconscious can be easier, even if it means
being uncomfortable,’ she says. ‘Being conscious brings
responsibility, but with it comes the power to make a profound
change. It’s about unlearning habits we’ve accrued and
relearning how to move freely and easily.’
Alexander called this ‘constructive conscious control’. ‘You’re
bringing the unconscious into the conscious realm.’ She stresses
that continuity is important. ‘If you want to learn a musical
instrument you don’t get the facility without practice.’ But, like
a musician with a masterly ability, she says it’s ‘a technique for
being able to live virtuosically’.
Words: Liz Boden
ILLUSTRATIONS: IRINA PERJU
To find out more about Lindsay, visit The Society of Teachers of
The Alexander Technique at alexandertechnique.co.uk, where you
will also be able to search for teachers in your area. Some NHS trusts
offer lessons, so it’s worth asking your GP if there’s an opportunity
for referral in your area.
‘We can throw away the habit of a lifetime
in a few minutes if we use our brains’
FREDERICK MATTHIAS ALEXANDER

PRACTICE POINTS
The semi-supine lie down
Lie on your back on a firm surface with your head
supported on a few paperback books, knees bent, feet
flat to the floor, and allow gravity to help everything
release. By raising your head and your knees you avoid
compression through the neck and lower back.

Focus on your breath

Sit on a chair with your hips slightly higher than your
knees. Make sure you’re on your sitting bones
– the bony bits of your pelvis in your bottom.
Focus on the breath, breathing out fully
and allowing the air to come in through
the nose so the air is warmed and filtered.

If you’d like to learn more about the Alexander Technique, there are several publications that might help, including:
Body Learning by Michael Gelb; The Alexander Technique for Musicians by Judith Kleinman and Peter Buckoke;
The Complete Illustrated Guide to Alexander Technique by Glynn MacDonald; and The Use of the Self by FM Alexander.

17
 Just the job
How to live your dream when work’s a nightmare
The idea of a good life is often conflated with having a
glamorous job. Career gurus preach the importance of doing
what you love while movies and TV tend to portray an elite
executive role as the pinnacle of achievement. Yet the truth is
that many people do work that doesn’t necessarily thrill them.
Luckily, however, there are ways to find satisfaction inside and
outside the workplace, even with jobs that are a total snooze.
To begin, experts suggest shedding unrealistic expectations
about the role work should play in life. Alison Green, creator of
career advice blog Ask a Manager, says it’s important to keep a
healthy sense of perspective: ‘It helps to remember that many
people don’t work in dream jobs. For most, it’s a way to earn
money and they derive fulfilment from other areas of life. And
that’s just fine. We do ourselves a tremendous disservice when
we buy into the myth that success means loving what we do. It’s
okay to feel “just okay” about your work.’
She adds that rather than dwelling on negative areas, it’s
more useful to think about what you like about your work.
Keeping in mind that you picked this role can also bring a
greater sense of agency. ‘It can help to get clear in your own
head about why you’ve chosen a job and why you stay in it,’ she
says. ‘Maybe the work is boring but your colleagues are great,
or you have an incredibly short commute, or great benefits, or
a ton of flexibility. Maybe you’re paid very well. Maybe it’s just
the best option out of all the others available. When you’re clear
about why you’ve chosen to be there, it can give you a lot of
peace about being in a job you might not love.’
This idea can be taken a step further with a process called
‘job crafting’. Coined by organisational psychologists, it involves
reframing your job to fit your talents and interests. This might
involve changing some of the tasks you take on or merely
shifting your perception of your role. You could think of it as
using your everyday interactions and responsibilities as the
raw materials you use to create a better work experience. Amy
Wrzesniewski, a Yale University professor and expert in how we
experience work, says there’s a misconception that fulfilment
comes from a fun career when, in fact, ‘enduring satisfaction
is about doing work that you feel matters to you and others,
and is important in its own right’. This holds true even for
roles that are rarely designated as fun, as Amy discovered. She
co-authored a study in 2001 of hospital custodial staff, such as
porters, and found those who ‘saw their work and themselves
as critical in healing patients’ and who looked for creative ways
to be really effective or brighten people’s days, such as moving
around the wall art in wards, were more satisfied in their jobs.
18
The opportunity to reframe a role is available in other spheres
too. Amy explains how a barista might choose to style their
creations or shape interactions with customers. ‘Job crafting
is not just about what you write into or out of the tasks and
relationships that comprise the role,’ she says. ‘It’s also very
much about how you carry out those tasks and engage with
others.’ What’s especially encouraging is that this process
can bring further benefits. Researchers at Erasmus University
Rotterdam in the Netherlands describe job crafting as an
upward spiral. Workers who seek out fresh challenges and look
for ways to use their talents feel more rewarded, which, in turn,
makes them approach their jobs with more enthusiasm. Even
more, this increased engagement can sometimes lead to roles
that make better use of their skillset and it can give colleagues
a mental boost too.
Sometimes, of course, a job is so poorly suited to the
person doing it that no amount of reframing can make it
satisfying. Alison cautions against ‘quitting a job without
another one lined up’, but this needn’t mean putting on hold
fulfilment that can be found outside the workplace. The
day job can pay the bills while you chase your wider dreams,
be they running a marathon, writing a novel or learning to
paint. Whether you find greatest happiness in or outside of
the workplace, reframing tasks and adding your own personal
touch to every interaction can bring more meaning to
everything you do in life.
Words: Jillian Bell
REFRAME YOUR ROLE
Feeling dissatisfied at work?
Try asking yourself these questions:
• What are the parts of my job I like?
ILLUSTRATION: OLIVIA WALLER
• How can I make the tasks I enjoy a bigger part of my work?
• Are there any opportunities in my role where I might
exercise, or widen, my skillset?
• What would I tell a friend who was in a role where they
felt unfulfilled?
• What are my passions outside of work?
• How can I create more time to pursue the things I love?
19
 The long view
There are various ways to squeeze a short but powerful meditation session into the
day and reap the benefits, but what are the advantages of extending it to an hour or
more? A long-time practitioner guides us through
The idea of emulating the tradition of Buddhist monks and
spending hours – if not days – meditating, might seem fanciful
to many. After all, a lifestyle that can support extended
absences from work or family responsibilities is rare. I certainly
don’t have a surplus of free time. Yet I’ve found that with a
little planning, long periods of meditation can be incorporated
into regular life. It’s something that I’ve been doing for more
than a decade now and it’s improved both my physical and
mental health. On the former, it’s helped me to work through
back pain, tension and given me the energy to combat chronic
fatigue. For the latter, it has provided me with a way to escape
from my maze of thoughts and find a deep sense of peace and
clarity of mind. Extended meditation enables me to become the
calm observer of whatever I’m thinking and feeling.
Arguably, these benefits grow exponentially depending on
how long you can dedicate to the practice. But wellbeing and
mindfulness instructor Hanna Milton stresses that regularity is
more important than time. Brief but consistent will be far more
effective than extended but sporadic practice. To begin with,
try to carve out short spells at least a few times a week when
you can practise mindfulness, whether it’s meditation, yoga
or tai chi. If possible, build up to a daily routine, as this could
help to sustain the benefits. The next is to extend the sessions.
Hanna suggests gentle increments of maybe five minutes a week
until you get to a length that feels right for you. ‘This might
change over time, or even from day-to-day,’ she says. ‘In my own
20
practice, I have days where a shorter meditation is all I want
and need.’ Extended meditation is beneficial when it is a natural
evolution of your practice and doesn’t feel forced. The idea isn’t
that it becomes another chore to add to a to-do list. The time
span should always be manageable. Hanna points out that ‘if an
hour-long session fills you with dread and you spend the whole
time waiting for it to be over, you’re not going to get a lot out of
the practice’. She says that it can sometimes be helpful to set up
a mini-retreat at home (see overleaf).
Buddhist tradition certainly indicates that it’s important not
to force yourself to meditate for longer periods or to get hung
up on how much time you’re setting aside for your practice. It
is, after all, about being present in the moment, which is the
opposite of what’s referred to as striving – seeking a material or
end goal. Starting a session with the thought you’re not leaving
the cushion for one hour might see you focusing determinedly
on the clock until you’ve notched up your 60 minutes. This is
likely to mean you become disconnected from the sensations
in your body and less aware of your breathing. One way to
counteract this is to notice any feelings of striving, let the
thoughts drift by and then bring the focus back to the present.
The period of meditation is, of course, also dependent on how
much time you have available. But if you find yourself thinking
you just don’t have a spare hour, you could try to look at it from
another perspective. It might be, for example, that an extended
session helps you to think more clearly and increases your
productivity for the day, or you could even discover it means
you need less rest. A 2010 study by the University of Kentucky,
carried out in Delhi, India, looked at sleeping patterns of seven
regular meditators, who practised for two or more hours daily,
compared to 23 control participants. They discovered that, on
average, the practitioners slept for 5.2 hours per night whereas
their non-meditating counterparts needed 7.8 hours.
Longer sessions can, however, pose challenges beyond time
constraints. The process of going deeper into the mind can
bring up strong feelings, both physical and mental. When
considering the former, Hanna suggests asking yourself if you
can feel relaxed about the discomfort: ‘Listen to your body,
if it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it,’ she says. ‘Move around and
stretch between sessions, or try some yoga poses.’ Sometimes
being still and present with mild pain can help to release it,
but there will be occasions when it’s better to move around
or end the meditation. Psychologically, you might find strong
emotions, including anger and sadness, swim up to the surface
during stillness. This can be surprising when you’ve entered
the practice hoping to find calm and to feel relaxed but it’s
completely natural. The brain has myriad coping mechanisms
for storing emotional traumas and sometimes the action of
being present can unlock buried or repressed feelings that you
might have been unconsciously avoiding, or that felt too painful
to bear. Doing things that ground you in physical reality after a
meditation session can help. Routine activities such as walking
or housework can ease your transition back to your day. For
some, crying (see page 72) or releasing these feelings might be
as much a part of the healing process as sitting and noticing
breaths. Putting emotions into words can also be beneficial.
Professor of psychiatry at UCLA Dr Daniel J Siegel coined the
phrase ‘name it to tame it’ to explain how articulating emotions
could help people to cope with strong feelings. Journalling can
also be an effective way to explore thoughts that come to the
fore during and after a practice.
Of course, long meditations won’t be practical or work for
everyone. That’s totally fine and there’s no need to worry.
Instead, try harnessing your full attention and awareness to
everyday activities, as well as pastimes. This will increase and
lengthen the mindful moments in your day, almost an extended
practice in itself. And ultimately the benefits of meditation
are seen when they are interwoven into daily life. As Haikuin
Ekaku, a Japanese Buddhist from the 17th century, said: ‘While
yet you live, practise meditation. Do not meditate only in a dark
corner, but meditate always, standing, sitting, moving, and
resting. When your meditation continues throughout waking
and sleeping, wherever you are is heaven itself.’
Words: Kate Orson
Turn the page for Kate’s meditation tips and to discover some of
Hanna’s ideas for making your own mini-retreat at home
21
 FIND YOUR BREATH
How Kate eases into her practice
1. Sit comfortably in a room
or area where you won’t be
disturbed or distracted.
2. Breathe naturally through
the nose and bring conscious
awareness to the breath, without
trying to fix or change it. You
might notice your breathing
pattern naturally relaxing and
deepening as the meditation
continues but don’t try to
force it.
3. Notice the sensations that
come with each inhalation and
exhalation out of the nostrils.
22
4. Continue to breathe through
the nose. After each full in- and
out-breath, count to 10. If you
lose your place, return to one.
This can also be reversed, so that
the counting takes place before
the start of each in-breath.
5. If my mind wanders (it does,
many times), I consciously try to
stay present, notice my thoughts
and return to my breath, then
continue counting.
ILLUSTRATIONS: SARA THIELKER
6. When ready, I come out
of the meditation by slowly
opening my eyes and being still
for a moment. I then gradually
reacclimatise to my surroundings.
 A HOME-BASED MINI-RETREAT
Hanna explains how to use the time you might have spent at a remote
countryside setting to create space for dedicated self-care

I love a home mini-retreat. Labelling it such makes it feel surprisingly special and indulgent. It gives
you the opportunity to commit fully to self-care and feel justified in doing so. Incorporate props that
differentiate the experience from just meditation – candles, incense sticks, music, cosy blankets and
cushions. Set them up slowly and delicately, turning this into part of the self-care ritual. You can also
include other wellbeing practices beyond meditation, like starting with a relaxing breathing exercise,
mindfully enjoying an immune-boosting tea and finishing with a gratitude exercise.
Schedule a mini-retreat as you would if you were actually going to an external setting. Arrange the
time, the space, the props, the moment. And try not to wait until you’re at breaking point and need
the space to prevent a meltdown. Self-care is most effective if it’s practised as part of regular life.

Find out more at alittlemindful.com.

23
 In dreams
How to unlock the wealth of your inner wisdom while you sleep
Imagine going to bed at night and, just before you drift off, you
cast a spell asking for the answers to life’s conundrums. You
wake in the morning to find, on reflection, the magic has indeed
worked. You have some or all of the answers you were looking
for. ‘A dream come true’ might be a cliché but it has a truth at its
centre – it’s possible to ask your unconscious to lead you to the
answers you need, while you sleep.
Dream incubation, as it’s known, is a technique that anyone
can do. It works by focusing attention on solving a specific
problem from the depths of your REM state. Some people
practise dream incubation without realising it, whereas others
have purposefully done so throughout the ages. Many great
minds, including Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein and Salvador
Dalí, successfully used pre-sleep suggestions to inspire or
improve their work.
In a 1993 study at Harvard Medical School, psychologist
Deirdre Barrett asked students to focus on a problem of their
choosing before drifting off each night for a week. Participants
gave themselves pre-sleep suggestions, ranging from how
to create plots and characters for a novel to how to solve
computing problems. Around half said they had a dream that
was related to their question, and most of these felt their dream
had provided a solution to it.
Florian Divi, a mindfulness of dream and sleep facilitator and
visual artist, uses dream incubation for self-development and to
explore his unconscious wisdom. On one occasion, he asked for
a dream to ‘show me what I need to know’. He wanted to keep
the question open-ended, to allow his unconscious mind to
tell him what it felt to be of importance. He says: ‘In my dream,
a lady behind a desk looked directly into my eyes and said,
somewhat harshly: “I know what you’re going to ask me.” There
was a pause before she went on: “You’re pretending to be in a
relationship, but that is not the case.”’ When he awoke, he wrote
the details in his journal. The experience felt so emotionally
charged that he realised it was a sign the dream had successfully
responded to his incubation request.
At the time, Florian was living with his ex-partner. Though
their romantic relationship had ended, they’d remained in the
same home while he searched for a new property. Although they
were still friends, in his dream he received a message that there
was something else he needed to know. ‘I made a list of what
24
being in a romantic relationship meant to me, versus being
in a friendship. Then I saw clearly what the dream was telling
me. In some ways, I had been acting as though I was still in
a romantic relationship with my ex-partner, but that wasn’t
matching up with the reality of our status as friends.
‘The dream reminded me to instil some margins, which
allowed me to have more confidence and self-love toward myself
and our situation. I was able to put in healthy boundaries, and
as a result we had a better and more authentic relationship.’
When using this technique, you can ask open-ended
questions and see what your unconscious considers to be of
importance, as Florian did; or you can request support with a
specific issue. This is something wellbeing coach Eline Kieft did
when she asked for help with an interview for an academic post
at a university. The night before she was due to go in, she asked
for guidance on how she should be with the interview panel.
The dream portrayed Eline seated in a circle of 13 people, each
of whom was playing a drum.
‘It seemed to communicate that I had a place in the circle. It
was as though I already had the job,’ she says. ‘The drumming
symbolised a heartbeat to me, and gave me a sense of
contributing something life-giving to the team. The number
13 was also significant because it represents the 13 phases of
the Moon which, for me, relates to harmony and a full cycle.’
While the dream didn’t give Eline a specific answer to what
she should say or do in the interview, she felt it provided
her with strong reassurance that she was in the right place.
As a result, she says, she approached the panel in a relaxed
and positive state of mind. Eline was later contacted by the
interviewers, who said that while she had seemed an unlikely
candidate on paper, after meeting her they felt she was the
ILLUSTRATIONS: KIMBERLEY LAURA WALKER
best person for the job and offered her the position. Would
things have turned out so well if she hadn’t used the incubation
technique before the interview? Did dreaming she was already
contributing to the team give her a confidence she might not
otherwise have had? It’s worth remembering that a little self-
belief can go a long way.
Curious to hear what your unconscious has to say? Turn over
for a week-long dream incubation method to unlock your
inner intelligence
25
 TAP INTO THE WISDOM OF
YOUR UNCONSCIOUS
Here’s a seven-night method to practise dream
incubation. You might start getting answers after
the first evening, or the solution might unfold in
your waking life over the course of the week

Get ready for bed. Before you lie down, decide on the
problem with which you’d like some help. It could be
specific, for example: ‘How can I find my ideal home?’
Alternatively, it might be open-ended, such as: ‘Show
me something important.’ Jot it down in a dream
journal, reducing it to one question or issue. Write out
the question 10 times.
Turn off the light and listen to your breathing.
Make a mental scan of your body (see issue 1 and
visit breathemagazine.com/body-scan), relaxing fully
from head to toes. You could also listen to a guided
relaxation or just slowly unwind as you nod off.
Bring your question to mind. As you get drowsy, repeat
it mentally as many times as you can before you finally
drift off to sleep.
Repeat for a week. Ask the same question or issue
you’d like to focus on for seven consecutive nights.

At times, dream incubation can bring exactly the

wisdom you seek. At others, the unconscious refuses to
play ball with your requests and the results are elusive.
It has its own agenda, which might be different to what
you hold consciously, but it has your best interests at
heart. If, after a week or so of trying you haven’t had
a dream that answered your question, you might find
your unconscious will guide you intuitively. Another
way to work with it is through journalling. Jot down
the question at the top of the page and begin writing,
without stopping or editing yourself, for five to
10 minutes. You might find the answer you need
reveals itself in your writing.

Words: Leah Larwood

Leah is a clinical hypnotherapist and also runs
workshops, teaching people how to have lucid dreams.
Find out more at themoonlab.net.

26
27
 LIVING

‘Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.

Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less’
Marie Curie
30
A simple treat?
There’s more to the traditional scone than meets the eye
The humble scone. A quintessentially British bake that’s much
loved but also the source of many a culinary conversation
as to what constitutes perfection. The numerous varieties,
flavours and preferences make them rather difficult to explain
to someone who hasn’t yet had the good fortune to taste one
of these beauties. First, there’s the pronunciation – a bone
of contention in itself, as to whether it actually rhymes with
‘bone’... or ‘gone’. Then there’s the debate over whether a
scone should be sweet or savoury, or – in the case of the plain
variety – something that teeters tantalisingly between the two.
Attempting to describe them to the uninitiated is likely to be
met with responses such as: ‘So, it’s a biscuit?’ or ‘Sounds like
bread!’ and even ‘Is it like cake?’
Time-honoured rituals
Though widely considered an English delicacy and known for
its starring role in the traditional cream tea, it’s thought that
the scone might have originated in Scotland – where it was
originally made with oats, cut into wedge shapes and griddle-
baked on a stovetop. Nowadays, it’s more commonly made using
flour, cut into circular shapes and baked in the oven.
Cream tea – scones with toppings of cream and jam,
accompanied by the obligatory pot of tea – is hugely popular in
British tea rooms and cafés. Its more substantial relative, the
afternoon tea, became popular in Victorian times, when the
ritual of taking a light meal to bridge the gap between lunch
and dinner was considered something of a decadent treat and a
status symbol of the upper classes. Certainly one for the larger
appetite, it consists of delicate sandwiches and cakes, as well as
a selection of scones and toppings, and is usually served on an
elaborate stand, accompanied by that all-important brew with
which to wash it down.
One for every occasion
These days, scones generally fall in to one of three categories:
fruit, with extra sweetness coming from dried pieces of
currants, sultanas or berries; savoury, with the addition of
cheese, onion or herbs; or plain, where its delicious simplicity
is left to speak for itself.
Regional variations provide a range of options to tempt every
palate, while the serving of this teatime treat is a subject of
deep rivalry between two counties in southwestern England.
Traditionally, scones in both Devon and Cornwall are served
with a side of thick, clotted cream and a pot of strawberry
jam. The crucial difference, however, is whether the jam or the
cream goes on first. For the Cornish, a thick layer of jam comes
before a dollop of cream, while Devonians think it’s only good
and proper to do it the other way round. For many, though, a
simple slathering of butter is just perfect.
Most places, however, have their own favourites. One popular
destination for locals and tourists alike is the Steyning Tea
Rooms, which sits in this pretty West Sussex village’s high
street. Despite having a self-confessed love affair with baking,
the appropriately named owner and chief baker, Kim Cook,
hadn’t actually made a scone until taking over the tea rooms
in 2012. She says: ‘I’ve been helping in the kitchen since I was
a little girl, so my passion for baking started as a child and has
grown into a full-blown love affair over the years.’ Topping
the list of favourite flavours for the tearoom’s loyal visitors is a
seasonal rhubarb variety, served with homemade rhubarb and
31
 vanilla jam. ‘They are our most popular scones when we make
them in the summer,’ says Kim. ‘We simply can’t make them
fast enough as they always sell out!’
So much talk of cream and butter might leave those with
dairy-free diets feeling left out. The good news, however, is that
scones can still be delicious without these ingredients. Robin
Kennedy, chef at Sunderland-based vegan café The Good Apple,
uses both plant-based spread and milk – ‘soy or oat work best’
– and says his scones are quite indistinguishable from the non-
vegan version. And his favourite? ‘It’s always been cheese scones
– still warm from the oven, with lots of butter.’
His love of the savoury variety led to much experimentation
in the pursuit of plant-based perfection: ‘These days, vegan
cheese is getting better and better and, with the addition
of nutritional yeast, we can make scones that are as “cheesy”
as anything…’ Tastebud-tempting? Good Apple regulars seem
to agree: ‘Customers love these ones. I think a lot of vegans miss
a good cheese scone,’ says Robin, who was happy to share one
of his own vegan alternatives with Breathe (see right).
32
So, back to the Cornwall versus Devon debate, and it seems
our experts sit on the same side of the fruity divide, with both
Kim and Robin opting to layer theirs with jam before cream,
and Robin adding a very firm: ‘Jam first!’
As well as sharing his top tips to use a chilled dairy-free
spread and not to overwork the dough, Robin also recommends
putting a little love into the baking process for tasty results:
ILLUSTRATIONS: ANNELI FLEMING-BROWN (SCOFINN)
‘Enjoy making them. If you love your scones, you’re going to get
good at them’. Kim shares Robin’s affectionate approach to the
perfect bake: ‘It sounds very clichéd, but if you love what you do,
then they turn out better. Make scones when you’re happy!’ So,
don your apron, fill your heart with love and prepare to deliver
some tasty treats.
Words: Simone Scott
To find out more about Steyning Tea Rooms, visit
@steyningtearooms on Facebook.
ROBIN’S ‘RASCAL VEGAN’
PLANT-BASED SAVOURY SCONES
MAKES 8

• 450g self-raising flour

• 1 tsp baking powder
• 3 tbsp nutritional yeast
• 110g dairy-free spread, chilled
• 200g vegan cheese
• 275ml dairy-free milk (soy or oat is best)

Method
1. Preheat the oven to 200C/400F/gas mark 6.
2. Mix the flour, baking powder and nutritional yeast in a bowl.
3. Add the spread to the bowl, then rub in with the dry
ingredients until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs.
4. Stir in the cheese and milk to make a dough (leave a little of
both to brush/sprinkle on top).
5. Knead (with love!), then roll the dough out to a thickness of
about 2.5cm.
6. Cut out circles using a 7.5cm scone/cookie cutter and
transfer them to a lightly oiled baking sheet.
7. Brush with a little milk and sprinkle on the remaining cheese.
8. Bake in the oven for around 20 minutes, until golden brown.
9. Leave to cool for a while on a wire tray.

To discover more plant-based treats from Robin, check out

@the_rascal_vegan and @goodapplecafe on Instagram.

33
 Message in a bottle
How understanding what goes into a fragrance – and why
– can make wearing it an even more joyful experience
It’s both sensual and special, yet people often judge a scent by
a quick spritz in a store where their olfactory system is already
overloaded. What if we took the time to do some research first
– not into how to get the best deal on a chosen fragrance
but into its scientific make-up? It might sound scary, but fear
not, the fundamentals are pretty simple. It all starts before you
even pick up a bottle.
The market, of course, is awash with brands, from
the designer to the niche to the high street, so it can feel
overwhelming to know where to look or how to develop
your understanding of fragrance. To get beyond this, strip it
back to basics by using a perfume wheel (see right). The most
famous, produced by Michael Edwards, breaks down the main
categories of scent and outlines the typical smells associated
with each one. From there, consider how you want to commit
to a fragrance. Perfumer Stephen Nilsen, who works with the
Fragrance Foundation and Givaudan, says: ‘[Some] people
find their signature fragrance and wear that all their life, but
others think of it more like fashion. The seasons change and
so do their fragrances.’ Either way is fine. It’s about personal
preference, like much in perfumery.
Notes on origin and longevity
Interestingly, a UK study by online fragrance and beauty store
Perfume Direct found different types of scents were more
popular in particular regions, suggesting people opt for similar
notes to those around them. Psychologist Donna Dawson
calls this fragrance familiarity. ‘Some scents are universally
attractive, such as vanilla, which is often associated with
many people’s first food (breast milk), and flowers, which can
help to ease depression.’ With this in mind, it might be worth
questioning the origin of your preferences and if it’s time to
34
explore a wider range of categories. If you like something
floral, for example, you could move a fraction around the
perfume wheel to a greener scent.
The main thing to understand is that not all notes have
the same longevity or sillage, which is the trail a perfume
leaves behind in the air. They’re not all made equal and the
way they’re combined will affect their performance. As a
general rule, fresh and fruity notes don’t last too long on
the skin when compared with a woody or resin note (see
overleaf for more details). But that’s not to say a fresh scent
isn’t worthwhile. Stephen explains, for example, how some
people ‘love the gesture’ of applying and using fragrance as
a pick-me-up. And, of course, there are different scents for
different times. You might want a gentle one for the workplace
and a heavier one for social events.
Longevity is also determined by the size and structure of
a fragrance’s molecules and while that can’t be changed, note
performance can be boosted by manipulating the way they
work with the skin. Stephen says the trick is body lotion because
‘the moisture in it will help hold the molecules on the skin for
a longer time’. Layering lighter fragrances with heavier ones can
have a similar effect.
Another option is to upgrade from an eau de toilette to an
eau de parfum, but keep in mind that the scent won’t be exactly
the same. Stephen uses the analogy of music to explain why:
‘If you have your stereo on and you turn the volume up, [the
music] starts distorting. If you have an equaliser, you can lower
the base notes and it will sound better. We can do that with
a perfume too. Sometimes in a concentration the base notes
or the top notes might be too intense. We’ll rebalance those
to make them more wearable.’ Learning which ones suit your
tastes and skin chemistry takes trial and error, but the more
 notes that you smell and discover, history and happy times in my
the easier it will become to recognise life.’ Psychologist Donna explains
individually good scent options. that the smell sense connects to ‘the
For many, fragrance is about more than [brain’s] limbic system, which governs emotions
vanity. Swiss company Givaudan found that nine in 10 and memories. This is why a particular smell can take us
wearers believed fragrance was important for their wellbeing. right back to [a] time, place and emotion.’ Building from that,
This resonates with 46-year-old Amanda Lewis, for whom fragrance has the power to create a persona for the wearer.
it has long been a personal love. Over time she’s learned to Whether you realise it or not, those close to you will likely
understand it better, partly for her collector mindset (she tests associate you with your scent, just as you naturally do with
and collects as a hobby), but also for her mental health. others. Amanda feels this strongly towards the women who first
As a child, Amanda was surrounded by a scent-wearing family introduced her to the world of perfume. ‘When I looked at my
and grew up with an interest in fragrance, but it was only as an grandmas they were so beautiful to me. They were everything
adult that she discovered notes. ‘I remember thinking “I like I wanted to be… and the perfume just rounded it all off.’
this” and “I like that” but I didn’t have much awareness of what
the perfume consisted of,’ she says, adding that she gained more Words: Tanyel Mustafa
information from virtual community groups and forums.
An oriental scent fan, she continues: ‘Fragrance is Want to find out more about your fragrance? Turn the page
therapeutic. I need a mood lifter. I suffer with depression and
I’ve found that collecting fragrances helps connect my senses
and can set my mood for the day. It’s something positive I do
for me.’ Depending on the day and the feeling she wants to
capture, Amanda will opt for a different scent. On days that
she describes as ‘lower’, she’ll choose a lighter rose or chypre
over her favourite dark rose scent or opt for cologne over a
parfum, so the smell projects less intensely.
ILLUSTRATIONS: NICOLA YOUD

Notes on life and love

For many people, fragrance can also carry significant
sentimental value, something that Amanda shares. ‘As a
child, my connection to my grandmother was a particular
perfume bottle, so whenever I see it – even though I hated the
smell when I was little – I can appreciate it. It connects me to

35
 DISCOVER YOUR TYPE
In simple terms, perfumes are made from mixing perfume oil with alcohol. The
percentage of oil used will affect the strength. Pure perfume oil can be purchased,
though it’s a rare commodity. Perfumer Stephen explains the common fragrance
formulations (from strongest to weakest, though there are exceptions):

Perfume. Strong and long-lasting as oil makes up around 25 per cent or more of the
liquid. These formulations are more expensive to allow for the richer concentration.

Eau de parfum. Slightly less intense at 15-20 per cent oil. They still have good sillage
and require fewer sprays per use.

Eau de toilette. Less concentrated at around 10-12 per cent. They have a softer
performance that doesn’t travel as far from the skin.

Cologne. Often delicate on the nose but they evaporate quickly as they contain
only seven per cent oil. They suit people who enjoy a subtle scent or who like to
spritz liberally.

CHOOSE YOUR NOTES

Some people view the notes found in a fragrance as akin to the ingredients used
in a dish. Paying attention to them will help to explain why you like certain scents.
For example, you might notice that many of your favourites feature tuberose while
those you dislike have patchouli. They’re listed in three layers: top, heart and base.
Imagine peeling an onion, with each layer revealing more complexity to the scent.

Top notes. The initial smell, it vanishes quickest, as they tend to be ingredients that
have a lighter molecular weight. This means they cling to the skin for less time.

Heart notes. Become more apparent as the top notes soften. They should be
pronounced for a large portion of the scent’s wear time.

Base notes. What’s left of the scent as the fragrance fades. Usually heavier
molecules, they better adhere to the skin and last longest.

When testing a perfume let it sit on the skin for a while so you can see how the smell
develops. The initial few seconds won’t reflect the true scent or reveal all the notes.

See fragrancesoftheworld.com for more details about Michael Edwards’ wheel

and perfume classifications.

36
NATURAL VS SYNTHETIC
This is another factor to consider when choosing a scent. Natural
ones tend to comprise only essential oils, which might be combined
with soy or beeswax to create a solid form. Synthetics, on the other
hand, use artificial compounds and ingredients. Most perfumes fall
into the second category. Stephen says synthetics are less ‘labour
intensive’ in that they are developed in a laboratory and adds that
they do not require land to be farmed. When perfumers do use
natural ingredients, he says they have a responsibility to work with
the communities at the source. In most cases, he says, perfumers
‘use naturals where [they] have to, [when there isn’t] a synthetic
alternative.’ Both methods affect the environment in different ways,
plus there are the additional burdens of transport, distribution
and packaging that come with the creation of any product. Some
companies will also have more robust environmental policies
in place and enforce them appropriately. The key is to do your
homework. Research what’s in your desired scent (this is particularly
useful for those with allergies), how it’s gathered and produced, and
the environmental practices and record of the manufacturer.

37
 Little lifts
10 quick mood-boosters to lighten the day

1 Sort your space

A bit of decluttering can be a marvellous mood-booster
for many reasons. Not only will it transform your home from
crazy chaos into an organised haven, but you might find
things you’d forgotten you loved, or items you can give away
to brighten someone else’s day.
4 Get out and about
Even when the weather’s bad – and let’s face it, in the UK
and much of Europe that can be the case at any time of year
– fresh air can do a lot to lift the spirits. Try to do something
outdoors every day: run, walk, do some gardening or simply
drink your cup of tea in the open air.

2 Retail therapy
It sometimes gets a bad press these days, but shopping
can give you a real lift, especially if you can combine it with
ethical principles. Plenty of independent stores are open online
but are struggling to make ends meet. The same goes for
many artists and artisans who sell their unique products via
e-commerce marketplaces. By treating yourself a little, you’re
supporting them too.
5 Be flexible
For those who struggle with traditional meditation,
yoga can be a great entry point, as it teaches the principles of
breathing and focusing consciously while gently moving and
stretching your body. Many courses are available online, but
make sure the teacher hosting them is qualified. Just search for
‘beginners’ yoga’ and see what comes up. Moving your body and
getting in touch with your breathing is grounding and a great
way to soothe the spirits, plus it can activate those feel-good

3 Get your brain into gear

Learning a new skill and giving your grey matter a
workout can give you a tremendous sense of wellbeing. The
endorphins that ease stress and promote relaxation.

internet is a treasure trove of things to learn and online courses

to join. Want to learn a new language? You can do it for free on
a digital education platform such as FutureLearn, which is co-
owned by The Open University and offers courses across many
other subjects as well. You could even sign up for a course in a
skill you never knew you needed or gain an extra qualification
in your spare time. It can open new horizons for you and give
you that all-important sense of purpose.

38
 ‘Isn’t life exciting? Everything can change
all of a sudden, and for no reason at all!’
TOVE JANSSON

6 Crafty cure
There’s no flatter feeling than the sense that you’re not
achieving, producing something worthwhile or moving on in
some way. Creating something with your own hands can give
you that much-needed pleasure rush you get from completing a
task, and you’ll have something wonderful and unique to show
off to yourself and others. There are so many different things
you could try: knitting, crochet, macramé, felting, embroidery,
basketry or whittling to name but a few. Try searching online
for ‘beginner’s craft kit’ and see if something takes your fancy.
9 Be a bookworm
Reading is a great way to relieve anxiety. A book is the
perfect escape from the outer world, taking you into an
imaginary space that offers a welcome change from what’s
going on around you. Studies have shown the simple act of
reading lowers the heart rate and eases muscle tension. It
doesn’t even seem to matter what’s being read, so if a novel feels
beyond you right now, read a recipe book, a catalogue or even
the back of a cereal packet – every little helps (see page 94).

7 Home improvement
Environment is important to wellbeing, and a change
of scene in your own home can be a true tonic. Can you move
furniture around or change the pictures on the walls? Could a
new duvet cover or pair of curtains revitalise your living space
and make you feel fresh and alive? Wake up your inner
interior designer and remake your home into the best place
in the world to be.
10 Back to basics
Maybe you’re a little too tired, lonely or low to take
on anything new at all. In that case, try this: simply breathe in
and out slowly, counting as you do so. However many seconds
it takes for an inhalation, try to exhale for one extra second.
Repeat, then repeat again. You should feel your heart rate slow,
your muscles start to relax and your brain begin to ease a little –
and maybe that’s exactly all you need for now.
Words: Christine Boggis

8 Unleash the artist within

Creating something brand new and totally unique is not
only good for you while you’re doing it, it can also give you a
wonderful sense of achievement once the project is complete.
ILLUSTRATIONS: MORGANE FADANELLI

Creative acts can focus the mind and relieve stress, so why not
devise a new workout, paint a picture, write a story or poem, do
some acrylic pouring or create a sculpture?

40
NEVER MISS AN ISSUE

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 Spread the word
How one woman is using her own
experience to help change minds and lives

‘One book can change a child’s life,’ says Samantha Williams,

founder of This Is Book Love, the travelling multicultural
book carnival that started by bringing writing from Black and
culturally diverse authors to Britain’s schools and homes but is
now attracting worldwide attention. ‘Books can inspire, raise
self-esteem, give children something to aim for, and help them
to see themselves as writers or as the heroes and sheroes of the
story. The right reading material can set someone on a path
that leads from dreams to reality.’
Samantha is currently making her own dream a reality with
This Is Book Love, something that occupies almost as big a
space in her heart as her family. The idea was born soon after
her mother died, in 2006, but it wasn’t until 2015, when she was
pregnant with her third child, that it came into being and she
felt ready to leave her career as a television producer. ‘It was a
time of intense emotions,’ she says. ‘I was still grieving for my
mum, and I wanted to leave my job, so it was a period of endings
and beginnings, of despair and hope. I knew I’d had enough of
the television industry, and I knew I wanted something new –
something that acknowledged my Bajan roots and gave me daily
opportunity to emphasise how important they were to me. I’m
equally proud of my Welsh heritage through my father, but my
mum was my children’s only Black grandparent. I had an urgent
need to connect my children to her and to show them her place
in our family. I turned to books to help me, but couldn’t find any
with Black grandmothers.’
It was an incident at her daughters’ summer club that finally
gave her the incentive she needed. ‘I was taking the girls to
their club one morning, and was wearing my afro hair out, and
I heard this little boy shout “bushy hair” at me. It saddened
me that such a young child was already making prejudicial
comments. I went to see the club head, and I said: “I don’t want
this child reprimanded. I want him educated. I want him to
understand and value diversity.”’
The club head handed the problem back to Samantha and
asked her what she wanted to do about it. Her answer was
to order as many books by writers from ethnically diverse
backgrounds as she could afford – including Big Hair Don’t Care,
by Crystal Swain-Bates – and take them to the club to show how
they could help change perceptions and build unity. Encouraged
by the response, she did the same at several local schools:
This Is Book Love had arrived.
The carnivals at schools are a joyful event. Hannah Rigg,
who until recently taught at an inner-London primary school
that had hosted a This Is Book Love carnival, says that children
find them empowering: ‘They are a celebration of diversity.
Samantha finds out about the school’s cultural mix and tailors
the carnival accordingly, so that no child is left out. She makes
sure she has stories and flags for each pupil, no matter where
their family is from, dual-language books, and stories about
people such as Malala Yousafzai, Nelson Mandela, Rosa Parks
and others who have changed society. The children decorate
the stall with their self-portraits and their parents are
encouraged to attend, too. I found it quite moving to see
families looking through books written in their first language
and filled with illustrations of people who looked like them. It
seemed to give parents and children a sense of belonging and
pride in their backgrounds.’
Raising awareness
As well as schools, Samantha visits community centres,
festivals, markets and even hospitals. The pandemic has put a
temporary stop to that, of course, but it has given her time to
focus on her online bookshop and to set up her crowdfunding
BookLove-in-a-Box initiative, through which she donates
multicultural and bilingual books, dolls and flags to schools and

42
43

childcare providers. Once restrictions lift, her carnival will
be back, with new safety measures in place.
‘I didn’t have a plan when I went into that fi rst meeting
with the club head, but I left with one,’ she says. ‘Under-
representation is the rot that undermines the foundations of
many industries, including publishing. It’s at every level, from
the execs who commission, buy and print books, to those who
create stories and those who read them. I thought if I could do
something – anything – to address this, then I would be doing
my mother proud.’
Samantha reels off stats to illustrate the severity of under-
representation: in 2017, 32.1 per cent of primary-school children
were of minority ethnic origins (according to the Department
of Education), yet the Centre for Literacy in Primary Education
showed that only 4.3 per cent of children’s books published that
year featured Black or Asian characters, with only 1 per cent
having a child of colour as the hero.
Then there is encultured bias and product-based cultural
matching, which also leads to inequality, according to a study
published by sociologists Clayton Childress and Jean-François
Nault, from the University of Toronto’s sociology department.
In essence, this is people’s propensity to buy for and from
people who are like them. In an industry as white-dominated as
publishing (only six per cent of employees identified as Asian or
Asian British and a mere three per cent as Black or Black British,
according to The Publishers Association 2020 diversity survey),
writers from culturally diverse backgrounds are disadvantaged
from the start. Does she think this will change, now the public’s
conscience has been stirred by Black Lives Matter, the killing of
George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and others, and the scale of racial
injustice? ‘It will be interesting to see the long-term effects
and whether they equate to more people of colour being given
the same opportunities as those who are white. Certainly, my
44
business has seen a huge spike this past year. My Instagram
following jumped by more than 200 per cent in six weeks after
the Black Lives Matter demonstrations, and I had more orders
than I could cope with.’
Time for genuine change
Global news events also bring more adults to her door, people
who suddenly realise there is a huge hole in their education.
‘You can’t fi x things if you don’t know they’re broken,’ she says.
‘The Windrush scandal of 2018 was a wake-up call, and so was
the murder of George Floyd. It made people more aware of the
injustices in our world. So many people knew nothing about
the Windrush generation, even though it is as much a part
of the UK’s history as it is the Caribbean’s. When the story
broke about how citizens who had lived and worked in the UK
for decades were being detained and even deported, there was
outrage, but there was also an awareness of lack of knowledge
and, thank goodness, a desire to rectify that.’
Samantha has had so many enquiries from parents wanting
adult books by authors from all cultures and backgrounds
that she has now expanded her range. The carnivals in
schools are still focused on children’s titles, but her online
shop stocks a huge selection, including the bestselling What
a Time to Be Alone, by Chidera Eggerue, and non-fiction that
covers biography, history, social injustice, religion, racism
and philosophy. A quick browse brought up Chris Gilligan’s
Northern Ireland and the Crisis of Anti-Racism: Rethinking Racism
ILLUSTRATIONS: SILVIA STECHER. PHOTOGRAPHS: DANIKA LAWRENCE
and Sectarianism, Ijeoma Oluo’s So You Want to Talk about Race,
Trevor McDonald’s autobiography, An Improbable Life and Brian
Southall’s Jimi Hendrix, Made in England.
She hopes the progress she is seeing is a sign of genuine
intent rather than merely wanting to be seen to be doing the
right thing: ‘When I first started, I faced enormous obstacles,
and I don’t know if that was because I was new to the business,
or a woman, or Black, or all three, but that rebuttal shook me.
I’m happy to say that things do seem to be changing. There
is certainly a willingness for more open conversations, and
I’ve noticed that a less frigid exchange is taking place. White
caregivers and teachers are admitting they’ve not done
enough and are willing to listen and engage, and that’s
grounds for optimism.’
Words: Xenia Taliotis
SAMANTHA’S SUGGESTED
READS FOR CHILDREN

Timelines from Black History: Leaders, Legends and Legacies,

by Mireille Harper
A beautifully illustrated and inspirational book that traces the lives of charismatic
Black people through the ages, from Mansa Musa I – the 14th-century emperor
of the West African Mali Empire, who is often described as the wealthiest person
in the history of the world – to leading figures from the world of politics, sport and
literature, including Nelson Mandela, Serena Williams and Maya Angelou.

The Story of Windrush, by KN Chimbiri

This book reminds me of the classic Ladybird books. The format is similar, as is
the style of illustrations. It’s an excellent account of the Windrush pioneers –
the 500 or so Black men and women who arrived from the Caribbean on board
HMT Empire Windrush in June 1948 – told in an authentic voice.

Children of the Benin Kingdom, by Dinah Orji

My girls love this book. It’s a fast-paced adventure with a young girl as the hero.
Pursued by her murderous enemies, Ada sets off on an amazing journey to save
the ancient kingdom of Benin from discord. It’s a tale of resilience, self-belief,
integrity and honour.

Work It, Girl, by Caroline Moss

The Work It, Girl series aims to empower girls, encouraging them to set their sights
and ambitions high. Each one tells the story of a remarkable woman who has
reached the top of her career, highlighting some of the problems she encountered
along the way and how she overcame them. Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama and
Mae Jemison – the first Black woman to go into space – are among the brilliant
women already featured.

To find out more, visit thisisbooklove.com – 20p from every book sold goes to putting
free multicultural and anti-racist literature into schools.

45
46
Hop to it!
Looking for a furry friend to share your home? Could a rabbit be the
one? Affectionate and full of fun, they can make great indoor pets,
burrowing their way into your heart before you know it
Gone are the days of rabbits being written off as
children’s pets, or animals to be kept in a hutch at the
bottom of the garden. House rabbits are becoming
increasingly popular and with good reason – they’re
intelligent, inquisitive, thrive on company and, with
the right care and attention, they can be as friendly
and loving as a dog or cat. They also don’t need regular
walks, making them perfect for animal lovers whose
mobility issues or time commitments make a dog an
impractical choice. On a more practical note, they can
even be trained to do their business in a litter tray.
Bunnies are small animals with big personalities –
you could soon find a free-roaming rabbit bouncing up
and down the stairs, jumping for joy at your feet in the
kitchen or relaxing beside you on the sofa. So, if you’re
looking to breathe new life into your home, you could
do worse than considering adopting a rabbit or two.
Northern Ireland-based rabbit lover Slowomir
Cichy keeps 11 of the animals in custom-made
accommodation in his home and gives them regular
free-roaming time in his living room. His wife Kasia
credits the gang with helping to improve her mental
health after she experienced depression. She says
caring for and forming a special bond with them never
fails to improve her mood.
‘Rabbits bring such joy,’ says Slowomir. ‘It’s hard
to feel down when you have one bouncing about the
living room, leaping through the air and getting into
mischief. They’re also delicate and sensitive animals,
but if you care for them correctly then they can form a
real bond with their owners. That’s what’s so rewarding
about them – you give them love and gentle care, and
they choose to give it back to you. You build that bond
calmly and carefully, based on trust.’
Naturally active and inquisitive, rabbits need lots of
space to run and explore. National animal charity the
PDSA recommends a minimum of three hours’ exercise
each day, but the more active time they have the better.
Some people who keep house rabbits allow their pets
free run of their home, providing a sleeping area and
litter tray in a quiet corner, while others keep their
rabbits in a cage or hutch, perhaps putting them away
47
 at bedtime and then allowing them out under supervision
for parts of the day. If you have a secure garden, letting your
rabbit out to play can be another good option. Most people
agree that the more free time their pets have, the more they
enrich their lives.
Jodie Savage, from Billingham in County Durham, shares her
home with her three-year-old son Noah and their house rabbit
Arlo, who goes to bed in a cage in the utility room, but
is otherwise given the run of the house. ‘She’s got bags of
personality – she’s like a little dog,’ says Jodie. ‘She loves playing
with Noah and sharing his toys, and she spends her evenings
stretched out with me on the sofa. People don’t realise how
much joy a rabbit can bring until they share their home with
one. She’s really loving and great company. It makes me smile so
much when I see her running and jumping through the house
with happiness, or flopping down contentedly in front of the
telly for a snooze.’
to make sure they find a small-animal vet with experience of
treating rabbits and a good out-of-hours service as bunnies can
become life-threateningly ill very quickly.
‘Rabbits are prey animals so their instinct is to mask illness
because it makes them vulnerable,’ he explains. ‘By the time the
pet is exhibiting signs of being unwell it’s often an emergency.
Gut problems are common and rabbits need diets based on
access to fresh grass or good-quality hay. Shop-bought muesli
mixes are not necessarily the best choice. I’m also evangelical
about making sure they’re vaccinated against myxomatosis and
viral haemorrhagic disease, as even if your rabbit lives indoors,
these viruses can be brought into the home on your boots after
a country walk or even by insects such as mosquitos and fleas.’
Experts and owners all agree that the key to living
harmoniously with bunny companions is to do your research
first. But if you can offer a responsible and loving home, your
rabbit will likely make all that effort worthwhile.

Consider the commitment Words: Jade Beecroft

But before you rush out to your nearest rescue centre, it’s worth Jade is a lifelong fan of rabbits and has happily shared
noting that rabbits are a commitment and need specialist care. her home with several furry friends (see right).
Sanctuaries are full of unwanted bunnies whose owners have
given them up after realising how much dedication is involved. If you’d like to learn more about keeping a rabbit at home,
Bunnies thrive best on a diet of hay or grass and fresh greens, visit pdsa.org.uk or rabbitwelfare.co.uk.
which can be expensive. In addition, a bored or frustrated rabbit
can become destructive and they’re great chewers, so most
people who keep them indoors make sure electrical wires are
tucked well out of the way.
Karen Gray, spokeswoman for Scottish charity Advocates for
Rabbit Welfare, says too many people take on rabbits without
understanding the responsibility it entails. ‘They may be cute,
but they’re not cheap pets and they’re not easy pets,’ she says.
‘They need vaccinations, neutering and space to exercise, and
they’re sociable animals so they need company. They have
specific health and dietary needs, too, because their digestive
systems are quite complex and can be sensitive.
‘But they make wonderful companion animals and they have
unique personalities. People should do their research first,
though, to make sure they’re well prepared and try to adopt
from a rescue centre, rather than going to a pet shop.’

Keeping them healthy

Smaller breeds can live for around a decade. If they need
veterinary treatment, it’s likely to be expensive as they’re
often classed as exotics, so it’s well worth looking into pet
insurance. Richard Saunders, vet specialist advisor to the
Rabbit Welfare Association and Fund, says that rabbits are an
‘extremely easy pet to keep badly’ and advises would-be owners

48
 LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
Comical and adorable, bunnies are part of the family for Jade. Here, she recalls two who bounced into her life
Ever since falling in love with the adventures of Fiver, Hazel and
Bigwig in Watership Down as a child, rabbits have been my spirit
animal. So it’s no surprise that I’ve been keeping them as house
pets for years.
They breathe life and joy into the home, bouncing about
at your feet as you cook, flopping out beside you as you
read or work (they have a way of melting into the floor that’s
just adorable), and are always ready to appreciate a good nose
rub. You soon learn their particular eccentricities, such as the
ILLUSTRATIONS: LAUREL MOLLY
fact that you should allow them to come to you because
they’re naturally prey animals, and that many dislike being
picked up.
I had one rabbit, a mini rex called Beans, who weighed little
more than a bag of sugar but completely ruled the roost, even
putting my mum’s big gundog in his place. She liked to parade
carrots right in front of his nose and when she sat on my knee
in the evenings, she’d give me a gentle nip every time I stopped
stroking her, as if to say: ‘Oi, focus on me please.’ There was
never a dull moment with Beans around.
Our last rabbit, a continental giant called Captain Bucky
O’Hare, was as statuesque as his name implied, weighing in at
an impressive 8kg (which is bigger than your average terrier).
His favourite hobby was instilling fear into the hearts of our
neighbourhood cats while visitors to our house always did a
slack-jawed double-take when he lumbered over to say hello.
He adored cuddles, had his own easy chair in the living room and
was fastidious about his toilet habits, even using a litter tray on
the back seat of the car during long journeys.
Rabbits have just as much personality as your average family
dog and they’re truly comic characters. It’s hard not to have a
home filled with laughter when you have a cheeky bunny or two
bouncing around.
49
 Rooted in nature
Can a working holiday that follows the organic rhythm
of life help you to unearth new things about yourself?
The rooster’s sunrise song is a hardwired internal alarm,
stirred by the anticipation of dawn. Like most animals –
including humans – these early birds have circadian rhythms,
daily cycles of activity that roughly follow the ebb and
flow of day and night. The rooster, however, likes to get a
head start on his daily chores, which is why his crow is often
heard while everyone around him is still asleep.
Stepping into a similar organic rhythm, Joshua Miller left
the lights of New York City in 2013 for southwestern Australia,
to embark on a volunteering holiday, where he worked on
farms, vineyards and homesteads. Originally planning to be
away for six months, his journey evolved into an 18-month
world tour of significant self-discovery.
Swapping skills for shelter
An organisation called WWOOF connected him with
various hosts for whom he worked in different locations,
including southern France, on a construction project to
complete an off-grid eco-house. In Australia, his work included
helping in the garden of a B&B. His fondest memory is of an
older, widowed woman who hosted him on her vineyard in
Portugal. Trying to make ends meet, she needed help with her
jam-making and sausage businesses, both of which supplied
the local community. ‘I will always remember shovelling gallons
of mud out of a water tank to irrigate the vines, and enjoying
some of the freshest wine on the planet,’ he says.
The acronym WWOOF stands for Worldwide Opportunities
on Organic Farms, a global movement founded in the early
1970s to connect people in a non-monetary exchange of skills
50
for board and lodging. Volunteers (or WWOOFers, as they’ve
become known) live alongside their hosts, helping with daily
tasks and experiencing life in a more rural setting, as well as
learning about the workings of farming life.
Mutual benefits
Ranches, homesteads, orchards, vineyards and cooperatives
make up the types of accommodation on offer and hosts
welcome volunteers of any age and background (however,
under-18s must be accompanied by an adult). Each participating
country has its own WWOOF group, in the form of an online
portal. An annual fee (see over the page for details) provides
a one-year membership to the website, where volunteers and
hosts can upload their profiles and connect with one another.
All hosts are vetted and verified to ensure that accommodation
is comfortable and safe.
WWOOF is just one of the many organisations that invites
travellers to connect to their roots – for instance, helpStay is
a programme where volunteers can tailor their experiences
around skills they already have, such as teaching, working with
animals, building, hospitality and community work. Similar to
WWOOF, helpStay offers the non-monetary exchange of skills
for accomodation and board with hosts.
For those interested in rewilding, the Trees for Life charity
in the Scottish Highlands offers residential volunteering
opportunities during its Conservation Weeks. Up to 10 places
are open for volunteers to live and work in the surrounds of
Inverness for seven days at a time. Trees for Life has planted
over one million trees and created 10,000 acres of new
51
 Caledonian Forest, with almost all its conservation work
carried out by volunteers ranging in age from 20 to 70.
The charity believes the volunteering work offers the
following substantial benefits:
• By doing something positive and empowering to help the
planet, a working holiday gives you a distinct purpose.
• Spending a week working amid forests, rivers and mountains
encourages a connection with nature and the wilderness.
• Living, eating and working with like-minded people is
inspiring as well as sociable, as people share space, sleeping quarters
and work tasks.
• Education about forest restoration is taught through practical
work and direct observation, providing real-world experience.
If travel is off the table…
Volunteering online, or e-volunteering, is another way to connect
with people and learn new skills, without having to travel. The
United Nations Volunteers (UNV) programme works with global
organisations, teaming them up with individuals to address
sustainable development challenges. They have myriad options
for all skill levels, ages and abilities, regardless of location.
London-based undergraduate student Hind Dihan was
52
connected with the Cameroon-based Association for
Community Awareness (ASCOA) by the UNV programme.
She describes how writing and editing for the organisation’s
website and newsletter has had a positive impact on her
life: ‘It’s been a chance for me to use my voice and make
a difference in the world. [ASCOA’s] initiatives to help fight
climate change [come] at a time when the world really needs
it. Its goals and passions are similar to my own, and it’s been
a rewarding experience.’
Back to basics
More than just a way to gain practical knowledge, volunteers
of all ages speak about the personal shifts that occur through
this greater connection with the world. Predominantly, they
experience a deeper appreciation of, and dedication to, service,
ILLUSTRATIONS: LOUISE BILLYARD
community and simple living.
For Joshua, his working holiday served as a pivotal point in
his life, rooting him to the person he wanted to be. He never
moved back to New York City. Instead, he now lives on the west
coast of the US and is an advocate of eco-friendly living. His
exposure to a slower pace of life helped him discover his true
needs: ‘It turns out that I require much more space for creativity
and self-expression, and my life in a dense city like New York
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£435 or £195 for those on a low
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No fee to join. Register online.
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53
 MINDFULNESS

‘Everything passes. Nobody gets anything for keeps.

And that’s how we’ve got to live’
Haruki Murakami
56
In and out of hope
Is this state of mind synonymous with optimism? And is it always a good thing?
Throughout history, hope has been treasured like the
philosopher’s stone – as the magical feeling of optimism that
can turn the lead of disappointment into the gold of a bright
future. But is it always something to be held in such high
esteem? Opinions and beliefs about it have varied for centuries.
Even the ancients seemed muddled about its worth. Take the
Greek myth of Pandora’s box. Given a box and told that she
absolutely must not ever lift its lid, curious Pandora does exactly
what we’d expect her to do and throws it wide open. Out fly all
manner of evils into the world, among them strife and sickness,
disease and despair, hatred and war. Appalled, and realising her
terrible mistake, Pandora slams the lid back on again, trapping
hope inside. But does that mean this trait is safe, an antidote to
life’s troubles, ready to be taken out when needed? Or that it’s
another bad thing that needs imprisoning?
Force for motivation
Much more recently, in 1991, the feeling was placed in the
scientific spotlight when Charles R Snyder, a researcher
in positive psychology, put forward his hope theory.
Distinguishing it from optimism’s rose-tinted spectacles, he
proposed that it was a motivator: ‘Having hope means believing
you have both the will and the way to accomplish your goals,
whatever they may be.’ His model suggests certain modes of
thinking, including ‘pathway’ and ‘agency’. Pathway thinking
is your brain working out different ways to reach your goal
(so-called ‘waypower’), while agency thinking is the motivation
to keep going and switch pathways when necessary (willpower).
Charles went on to investigate personality traits associated
with hopeful people, using his hope scale. Self-encouragement,
asking for help and breaking down big tasks into baby steps
are in hope’s mental toolbox, and higher levels of the trait have
since been linked to academic success, wellbeing and physical
health. But that’s not the whole picture.
American psychologist and retired professor Everett
Worthington has studied this attribute for much of his
40-year career. He too distinguishes it from optimism and
acknowledges its important role as a motivator. Importantly,
however, he points out that in some situations, that kind
of energising hope can be less helpful, for example, when
‘running up against obstacles that appear unyielding, like
recurring health or financial or family issues that just don’t
seem to go away’.
Everett himself is no stranger to seemingly hopeless
situations. In 1996, his 76-year-old mother was murdered in her
home in Tennessee. A few years later, in 2005, his brother took
his own life. Yet, while these events were the catalyst for him to
change the focus of his work to forgiveness – he and his siblings
57
 ‘Hope is a good breakfast,
but it is a bad supper’
FRANCIS BACON
forgave their mother’s killer – interestingly, they didn’t change
his thinking about hope. He already felt certain that there
was more than the will- and waypower of the Snyder model:
there was what he termed ‘waitpower’, too. Simply put, that’s
the motivation to persevere despite not seeing a positive desired
outcome as possible or likely. Or, as he calls it, persevering
hope – which says ‘carry on and live productively, regardless
of whether you ever reach your desired goal’. As a committed
Christian, Everett believes the trait comes from two sources:
God, through building hope into people, and evolution. For
him, those are essential: ‘The human race would not survive
if there was not a counterweight to the things in life that
drag us down.’
So, it seems that hope can both reboot our systems, giving us
a necessary kick up the the backside when we need to achieve
things, and nurture perseverance, enabling us to cope when
things are not going to change. But what about those who
choose to live without it? For some, this enables them to take
an objective view of things, what they see as the unvarnished
truth, which leaves them clear-headed and focused on achieving
the best result possible. And it’s true that eschewing hope can
be nurturing, for example, when someone is able to accept a
58
situation isn’t working and move on from it. As psychologist
Mary Lamia points out in her online article The Power of Hope
and Recognising When It’s Hopeless: ‘In our culture, there is a
particular glamour attributed to those who persist and win, in
spite of limited hope for success. At the same time, having the
strength to recognise when hope should be relinquished and
the courage to acknowledge your helplessness can point you
in an unsullied direction that is accompanied by new hope.’ If
feeling hopeless becomes a problem, however, it’s always wise
to seek out help and support, whether that’s from friends or
professionals (see right).
Returning to Pandora and her box, it seems that, some
2,000 years later, hope is still viewed differently by different
people. For some, it’s safe in the box, ready to steady them when
things get bad. For others, it’s out and in their pockets, seeing
ILLUSTRATIONS: ELLICE WEAVER
them through, no matter what life throws at them. For the rest,
it can simply stay in the dark and leave them to take a pragmatic
approach. And perhaps that’s the real answer to the myth’s
riddle – that hope remains in our own hands, leaving us to
choose how and when to use it in our lives.
Words: Julia Wills
HOW TO STAY HOPEFUL
Want more of this trait in your life?
Here are a few suggestions

• Everett suggests finding your hero of hope – someone who

struggled against seemingly insurmountable odds and achieved
their goal. One example is Katherine Johnson, the mathematician
and Nasa employee whose calculations ensured the success of
the US’s space flights and first manned Moon landing.
• Plan something that encourages you to look forward – make it as
simple or elaborate as you like.
• Volunteer to help a charity or cause close to your heart and bring
hope into others’ lives.
• Watch a Ted Talk about this enigmatic trait and discover its many
surprising faces.
• Think of another time in your life when you struggled
but pulled through.
• Ask for help.

Losing hope can become a serious problem. See your GP if you

feel you need support. More help and information can also be found
at mind.org.uk, while the Samaritans offers a free 24/7 helpline – visit
samaritans.org for details.

59
 Strength to strength
The balance of power ebbs and flows in most relationships, but when it’s felt
internally and individually by both parties, it’s truly a positive force
‘Power’. It’s such a meaty word, isn’t it? It speaks of royalty,
revolutions, politics and plots. Yet it’s not only these
large-scale connections that power informs and influences.
Relationships at every level might be weighted one way or
another or, alternatively, ebb and flow in different directions
at different times.
Often, this is no bad thing. Two friends, or partners, of equal
stature in a relationship might shift their balance in response
to circumstance – for example, if one is going through a tough
time and the other steps up to pick up the pieces.
Even isolated incidents might demonstrate these ever-
changing positions: being in a social situation where a heated
debate (about something as innocuous as a TV show, for
example) ends up with opinion falling squarely on the side
of one friend, leaving the other feeling, perhaps, temporarily
unsupported and fuming. Another example could be where one
is invited to an event while the other is excluded. In themselves,
such incidents aren’t hugely problematic. Generally speaking, as
long as they’re discussed openly and honestly, they can usually
be laid to rest, even laughed about.
Different perspectives
It can be a fine line, however, and how and where that line is
drawn might depend on a range of factors. If, for example,
the power is more frequently in the hands of one person,
resentment can build up. Interestingly, this might be on
either or both sides, with one party annoyed that they always
need to take control, and the other feeling they’re seen as
weak or useless.
The personalities at play might also have a bearing. It’s
commonly stated that opposites attract and it’s true that
this is often the case. Again, this can be healthy, for example,
when both personalities draw upon and benefit from one
another, rounding each other out, inspiring, encouraging and
60
motivating. In other instances, the disparity between characters
– when one is always the cheer squad and the other is always the
‘friend in need’, can be problematic.
This is how it was once described to me: imagine a statue
and a pedestal. Both have been carefully hewn from the finest
marble, both are beautiful in and of themselves. The pedestal
has a purpose, however – to hold something up – which can
only be fulfilled with the addition of the statue. The statue’s
inherent purpose is to be viewed, something that is facilitated
by the addition of the pedestal.
It’s a match made in heaven. The statue stands proudly upon
the pedestal, revelling not only in its unconditional support, but
in the admiration of others who are able to view it. The pedestal
feels proud and validated, basking in the reflected glory of the
statue and feeling worthy in its role of supporter.
Over time, however, the pedestal starts to feel tired. It needs
a rest. It needs someone to tend to its cracks, its chips, the parts
of it that have been eroded by supporting the statue. So it asks
the statue if they could switch roles for a time, or if it might be
able to have a break. The statue is aghast. ‘But what about me?’
it demands. ‘What am I supposed to do? I need you. Would you
abandon me? How could you? How can you be so selfish?’
So the pedestal and the statue continue, one supporting the
other, but the relationship has changed. The pedestal feels
simultaneously guilty for wanting to abandon the statue, and
resentful that they are still in a one-way support role. The
statue feels angry about the pedestal’s desire to branch out
yet also, because the pedestal is still there, vindicated and
righteous. If the relationship is able to continue, then it will
clearly not be a happy one. What’s possible is that the pedestal
will eventually buckle under the strain, with both it and the
statue falling, spectacularly, to the ground.
Does this sound like a familiar situation? Going back
to the previous examples, it’s often the case that people in
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 relationships flow between pedestal and statue roles with one
another, according to need and circumstance. If, however, you
find you are always one or the other in a particular relationship,
then there could be scope for a problematic power imbalance.
It’s all too easy to frame such narratives in terms of
narcissism, neediness, weakness or emotional abuse, but such
blanket – and damning – terms often fail to take into account
the in-between spaces. There’s no doubt that such behaviours
do occur in some relationships, but power balances are not
always so toxic, nor so sinister.
Nor is power. It’s common to speak of empowerment as a
positive thing: to enjoy a sense of purpose and mattering, to
be able to exert our influence to affect outcomes. In this way,
the pedestal is likely to feel empowered, at least initially, by
its usefulness to the statue. And the statue will, similarly, feel
that its raison d’être requires others to put their own needs or
desires to one side to support them.
Empowerment from within
Power is not necessarily the issue. The important thing is that
it is shared and that the power that’s wielded, whether in a
dominant or passive way (because both are instances of control,
although the latter in a less obvious sense), is recognised and
respected. After all, some people are comfortable and content in
a supportive role while others are happy to be more centre stage.
When these roles are mutually appreciated, and when there
is room for movement between them, even if that room is
ILLUSTRATIONS: KATIE SMITH
not utilised, people, even opposites, might coexist fruitfully.
Co-dependency is a different issue. This is where the
relationship feeds off negativity, where one party wields power
over the other in a way that’s harmful or hurtful. It’s where
power masks honesty and becomes manipulative or abusive.
Going back to the earlier example, it’s where the pedestal
seethes with resentment and tries to make the statue feel guilty
for the support it’s giving, and where the statue refuses to see
beyond its own needs to look at what nurture it can give back.
Feeling safe and having needs met is vital in any relationship,
but true empowerment comes from within. It’s the ability to be
assertive without resorting to manipulation, and it’s the ability
to be autonomous without feeling selfish or guilty. All of this
comes from self-esteem, a sense that allows individuals to fight
for their own corner, as well as, if needed, for that of another.
Self-esteem makes it possible for people to express their
feelings, to voice their concerns, to self-advocate and to set
boundaries, as well as to hear the needs of others, negotiate,
accept without resentment and draw lines without fear of
rejection. Just as healthy relationships are not based on power,
nor are they formed on the basis of an absence of power. The
important difference is that it’s not power over another person
from which the relationship derives its meaning, but strength
held internally and individually, by both parties, from which the
other can draw when needed.
Once, when I was grappling with these issues in my own
personal life, it was explained to me another way, one that I love
and have found immensely helpful:
Many people see themselves as a semicircle, and they are looking
for that other half of the circle to complete them. Ideally, we should
see ourselves as a whole circle, cut from tissue paper in a favourite
colour. When we connect with someone else who is similarly
complete, it doesn’t matter whether their colour is the same as
ours or not. If the colour is the same, laying one over the other will
deepen the hue. If they are different, they will alter and enhance one
another. Either way, the merging will create something rich, unique
and beautiful.
Words: Sarah Rodrigues
63
 Sculptural moments
How the story of Pygmalion can help to explore, challenge and
reframe expectations for the modern world
As love stories go, the tale of Pygmalion is pretty extraordinary.
It’s not every day, after all, that a sculptor’s hand-crafted statue
comes to life and lives happily ever after with its adoring
creator. Such is the way in this Greek myth, however, where
the goddess Aphrodite paves the way for the romance after
recognising Pygmalion has fallen deeply in love with his carving
and granting his deepest desire that they be together. Today,
the story also resonates in the realm of reality, where its name
is used to describe a psychological phenomenon where people’s
expectations can influence their own and others’ behaviour –
witness the Pygmalion effect.
Real-world effects
The term originates from 1968 when psychologists Robert
Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobsen investigated whether students’
achievements could be affected by teachers’ expectations. In
the California-based study, elementary-age schoolchildren
were given intelligence tests. The teachers were then given
the names of those who were said to have performed well and
showed exceptional potential, when in fact they had been
selected at random. Eight months after the initial assessment,
the students were tested again, with the randomly selected
pupils scoring significantly higher. The results appeared to
suggest that the teachers’ expectations had affected their
behaviour towards the ‘gifted’ students, perhaps paying
them more attention because they thought they were more
intellectually able, and taking more time to explain things
when they made mistakes.
But how does this phenomenon manifest in a non-academic
setting? Could it be that when we expect someone to behave
64
in a particular way that we subconsciously treat them in a
fashion that makes those actions more likely? In other words,
can our beliefs and expectations influence relationships with
family, friends, colleagues and perhaps even strangers? While
the methods and results of this initial study have long been
critiqued, the effect of expectation having some determination
over outcome has been seen in other situations.
Imagine you’ve made dinner plans with a friend – the
restaurant, day and time have all been agreed. Based on the
Pygmalion effect, the expectation that your friend will arrive on
time is likely to subconsciously keep you on schedule. When you
get to the venue on time this, in turn, will probably encourage
your dinner companion to be punctual on future dates. The
example can also work in reverse. If you believe your friend will
be late, you might make less of an effort to be on time, which
could make them less concerned about their punctuality when
you next meet. Their apparent inattention to timekeeping then
reinforces your initial belief. The idea behind the Pygmalion
effect isn’t to justify or excuse behaviour, but to illustrate that
a person’s expectations have consequences, which depend on
the nature of their own beliefs.
Expectations of the self
While the phenomenon is often seen in relation to an
individual anticipating another’s behaviour, it can also affect
the expectations that someone has for themselves. Confidence
and personal development coach Patrycja Skurzak explains, for
example, how holding yourself to an impossibly high standard
can negatively affect motivation, bring general dissatisfaction
in life and lower self-esteem. ‘What I see over and over again,’
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 she says, ‘are people who have unrealistic personal
expectations. This means they set unattainable goals and
then belittle themselves every day for not meeting them. It’s
one of the main obstacles when trying to build healthy self-
esteem.’ In other words, it’s fine to have high standards, but
only if they’re objective and realistic. If those expectations are
improbable or unworkable, it’s possible that they might act as
a deterrent and prevent someone from even attempting to
reach them.
The Pygmalion effect can also be used to explain emotional
responses, some of which will be more understandable than
others. According to R Jay Wallace, author and professor of
philosophy at the University of California, Berkeley, expecting
someone to behave in a certain way could also come with a
belief that if those person’s actions don’t fit in with what is
anticipated, then there’s a right to react in a certain way. If we
return to our dinner example, the punctual party would deem
it appropriate to be angry or upset if their companion turned up
20 minutes late, believing they have the right to respond in such
a way. They might also hope their reaction would make their
friend think twice before turning up late in future.
Looking inwards
Patrycja highlights, however, that dissatisfaction with another
person’s behaviour can also illuminate areas of one’s own
life that might benefit from attention. ‘When we don’t like
something in others and expect them to be in a certain way, it
often indicates what we dislike in ourselves or what we identify
as something we can’t give to ourselves,’ she says. ‘For example,
if we expect a partner to give us security and stability, it might
be that we are uncertain of our own ability to create a secure
and stable environment.
‘In this case, it’s no longer about others not meeting your
expectations, but self-limiting beliefs [that might hold you
back].’ She adds that the Pygmalion effect has the potential
to become negative when expectations are based on others
meeting subjectively created standards of what to do or how
to be, as that can detract from – or even disguise – the real
reasons behind frustration and dissatisfaction.
An effective first step towards greater self-awareness can
ILLUSTRATIONS: SIRIN THADA
be recognising that our expectations are subjective beliefs.
This could make it less likely that they’ll be used to control or
judge others, or be seen as an excuse to justify any self-limiting
beliefs. Persistent feelings of resentment, disappointment or a
sense of having been let down by others or yourself could be
a sign that personal expectations are out of kilter with reality
or an indication of low self-confidence.
Beliefs towards yourself and others do not have to remain static.
Here, Patrycja suggests a few techniques to help reframe them
1. Conduct a reality check
Ask yourself these questions:
• In what areas of life do I hold unrealistic expectations?
• What impact do they have on me and my relationships?
• Where do my expectations come from – family, friends or
past experiences?
• Are they linked to my values or my insecurities?
• What would change if I let go of those expectations?
• What is stopping me from letting them go now?
2. Shift your focus
Instead of anticipating certain outcomes, concentrate on areas
within your control and practise letting go of those that can’t be
influenced. Patrycja says: ‘A good way to manage expectations
is to learn how to surrender to what you can’t control and focus
on what you can instead. For example, instead of expecting
everyone to be easy-going, try looking at your own reactions
when dealing with challenging people.’
3. Get clear on personal boundaries and needs
Instead of creating expectations for others’ behaviour or
attitudes, focus instead on defining and announcing your values
and personal needs. You could ask yourself the following:
• What is it that I value and want more of in life?
• What behaviour, actions and language are in line with
this desire?
• Why do I feel negative emotions towards a specific situation
or behaviour?
Patrycja suggests that people who have clear answers to these
questions are more likely to be in a position to lead by example.
The Pygmalion effect, which stems from a tale of love and
dedication, suggests expectations for both ourselves and others
can influence what happens next. And while some might
question the hypothesis, it can nonetheless encourage self-
reflection and a greater appreciation of how our personal values
affect the lives of those around us. If nothing else, Pygmalion is
a reminder that we can learn to be the sculptor of our own lives.
Words: Egle Grigaliunaite
To learn more about Patrycja’s work, visit patriciaskurzak.com.
67
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Driving in neutral
Knee-jerk reactions are all too understandable, but is there a way to
reframe negative feelings and turn them around, especially when they
relate to personal outcomes? It might help to select a different gear
Picture this… You’re motoring along and another driver
recklessly pulls out in front of you… Your partner forgets a
special anniversary… You finally nail that work task you’ve been
putting off for weeks. How does imagining these scenarios affect
you? These are typical situations that can inspire an emotional
response, an immediate reaction that floods the senses and
can cause flashes of anger, or feelings of frustration or elation.
Sometimes these disappear as quickly as they came. At other
times they linger on, souring your mood for the whole day.
On the other hand, when something puts you in a good
mood, it’s a sensation you treasure, as you bask in the glow of
your favourable fortune and relish events that have gone your
way. It’s certainly not a feeling you’d choose to let go of in a
hurry. However, those negative sentiments can have an equally
long shelf life. And let’s be honest, who hasn’t on occasion
taken some pleasure in adopting a less-than-helpful attitude,
or revelled in a bleak mood?
You might imagine that these are natural responses to real-
life circumstances. After all, who wouldn’t feel great about a
promotion at work or upset about losing a favourite item of
clothing? But what if there was another way of looking at the
situation? What if this other approach also gave you greater
control over your feelings and reactions too? What if it allowed
you to become more resourceful in other areas of your life, and
how might this change things for the better?
Everything is neutral
If you’ve read about neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), you
might be aware of the concept of neutrality. According to NLP,
everything a person encounters – every conversation, every
situation and experience – is neutral. It has no meaning, except
the one they attach to it. It’s their reaction that gives it meaning
and more often than not, it’s this first response that lasts.
However, NLP suggests it’s possible to choose the meaning
given to life experiences and change a perspective from negative
to positive, or at least to a view that helps rather than hinders.
That knee-jerk reaction doesn’t have to be the one taken to
heart. Rebecca Lockwood, an NLP expert and coach trainer,
believes changing perspective all starts with understanding
how the brain processes events. ‘Firstly, it’s important to
understand how you perceive reality and filter events into the
mind,’ she says. ‘The brain is wired to notice all the things that
back up what you currently believe in your reality. Everyone has
a different version of reality and everyone has different beliefs,
values, personalities and attitudes. This is what determines
what is filtered into their reality.’
Take control
Rebecca points out that when bad things are anticipated or
situations are viewed from an emotionally negative perspective,
the part of the brain called the reticular activating system will
then notice anything that fits this narrative. ‘The brain will
filter through things that back up what you already believe and
think,’ she says. ‘You first need to become aware of this. When
you understand that the way you think and feel in the moment
will only attract more of the same stuff, you can do something
about it and begin to ask better questions.’ And, according to
NLP, this can help to see situations differently, as the questions
can lead to different answers and fresh perspectives on
situations that might once have just felt bad.
That might be great in theory, but how is it possible to see
something like a car accident or a lost job as anything other
than bad? Rebecca explains: ‘Don’t put any pressure on yourself,
and don’t misunderstand what’s meant. Some days are bad
and feel a bit rubbish, and some just go wrong. This is not
about glazing over that and pretending things will be okay.
Sometimes, you need to mourn and to grieve, sometimes you
need to feel sad or just feel. Everyone is human and should
always allow themselves to be human without judgment or
pressure.’ She adds: ‘What does matter, though, is how long
you feel unresourceful for, and if it develops into a feeling of
dissatisfaction with life. By asking a better question you’re
69
 instantly taking control of your mindset and reactions to the
outside world and being kind to yourself at the same time.’
Mindset or perspective is key to NLP. Rebecca suggests
taking a step back and looking at a situation from a neutral
perspective. Ask if your first reactions and feelings about
something are serving you. If not, hit pause and look at the
event again. Also ask yourself questions such as: ‘What can I
learn from this that is personal and positive about my future?’
Try to be conscious of any negative self-talk and begin to take
a more neutral standpoint. You might also try to see an event
from other people’s point of view.
Taking control of these perspectives can help to respond to
events in ways that are more positive and constructive. That
hot-headed flash of anger when someone knocks into you can
be turned around with a few questions:
• ‘Were they late for something important?’
• ‘Were they distracted and didn’t see me?’
• ‘Have I ever done something like that myself?’
• ‘What can I learn from this?’
Quite quickly your perspective towards them could change
and your anger be diffused alongside it. Jeremy Nicholson
specialises in social and personality psychology and talks
about how people choose those perspectives: ‘As humans, we
have the amazing ability to remember a lot about our past and
imagine vivid plans for our future. In doing so, however, we can
sometimes get stuck in those perspectives, which might not be
70
the most accurate point from which to judge current choices.’
He points out that an individual who is stuck on focusing on
their failures in their younger years might not fully take into
account their current skills and achievements. He adds: ‘In
contrast, someone hoping for a year-end bonus might make a
big purchase before that cheque is actually received and cashed.’
Jeremy warns that a person can become a self-fulfilling
prophecy if they get stuck in one mindset because the habits
and opinions they’ve long had about themselves are the
perspectives they use to determine so many of their choices.
Imagine, for example, someone who’s adopted the perspective
that they’re a failure. They believe everything they do is doomed
and they’ll never achieve success professionally or personally.
Shifting perspective on how they see events that happen to
them is an important way to change things.
Other views
The question is, apart from feeling better, can a change in
perspective really make a lasting impact and a big difference?
According to Tal Eyal, Mary Steffal and Nicholas Epley writing
in Harvard Business Review, adopting different mindsets has
more than just personal benefit – it might even help you get
ahead in business too.
This team of psychologists carried out a series of social
experiments with subjects from diverse backgrounds. They
asked questions that involved participants guessing the
perspective of others, with varying degrees of success. There
were two key takeaways. The first was: ask questions. If you’re
 trying to alter your own perspective to see something from
someone else’s point of view, ask them about it. How do they
feel, what do they think? Opt for perspective-getting over
perspective-taking.
The second was that getting a different perspective is
great for business. According to their report: ‘An attempt to
understand the mind of another person, whether a stranger,
your spouse or your customer, is unlikely to benefit from
imagining yourself in that person’s shoes and guessing what
that person feels or wants. Accurately understanding other
people requires getting perspective, not simply taking it. To
understand the mind of another person, we need to rely on
our ears more than our intuition.’
Of course, it’s not always possible to get that level of detail
about someone else’s perspective but when you’re open to
changing yours, ready to ask questions of your own experiences
and those of others, you’re on the right track – a track that will
improve your relationship with yourself and others, and open
you up to a more positive future personally and professionally.
Rebecca says: ‘I personally use this daily, within everything
ILLUSTRATIONS: BEATRIX HATCHER
I say to myself. It is the most effective method, our students
report, to get the best results for themselves and their clients,’
She adds: ‘If I ever feel or think negative thoughts, I ask myself
better questions and I become curious as to where these
thoughts have come from and what I can learn from the
current situation.’
Words: Caroline Pattenden
10 WAYS TO SWITCH TO
A NEUTRAL PERSPECTIVE
• Remember, you can see events, conversations
and situations as being neutral. It’s you who
creates the meaning.
• Your first perspective is often a reaction, and it
can be changed.
• Have a series of questions at the back of your
mind to which you can refer when you come
across a perspective you want to change.
• Take time to ask yourself those questions,
don’t rush.
• Try to quieten down or question negative
self-talk.
• Challenge negative perspectives, even ones
you’ve held for a long time.
• Cultivate an attitude of gratitude for what you
do have.
• Check in with yourself often.
• Don’t judge yourself, just observe your feelings.
• Be committed to making the changes you want
to see in yourself.
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 For your eyes only
Why crying in public remains a taboo in many societies
It’s an ordinary Monday working from home when I burst
into tears seemingly out of the blue. There’s nothing
externally wrong, but once the tears begin to flow there’s
no stopping them, and the next thing I know, I’m sobbing
into a pillow. This isn’t a one-off. In fact, it’s become an
almost-monthly occurrence over the past year. The timing
is undoubtedly hormonal. Feelings of stress, sadness and
uncertainty build up and then suddenly release, much like a pan
of water that bubbles along nicely before inevitably boiling over.
Afterwards, I feel better (unlike the hob). Creeping out of the
house for a walk and a blast of fresh air, I avoid the two friends
with whom I live, aware of my puffy face and red eyes. Why?
Because while I’m happy to share most of my inner thoughts
with them, I try to avoid weeping in front of anyone if possible.
That I feel better after this outpouring shouldn’t be
so surprising. Crying is, after all, known for its cathartic
properties. Yet it carries a stigma in many western cultures,
including the UK. Let’s be clear here. I don’t mean welling up
at a wedding, shedding a few tears while watching a sad film
or choking up at bad news, all of which are deemed socially
acceptable. I mean full-on bawling. This is an act that many
people expect, or even believe, should happen only in private.
The notion of the stiff upper lip still runs deep in western
culture and Britons, along with other northern Europeans,
are – rightly or wrongly – regarded as closed people who display
little outward emotion. There have been exceptions, notably
the collective outpouring of public distress at the funeral of
Princess Diana in 1997. But for many, solo sobbing is deemed
inappropriate in the workplace or other visible areas. The
glimpse of a tear on the face of outgoing British prime minister
and Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher as she was driven away from
72
10 Downing Street for the last time in 1990 made headlines
around the world, but the raw emotion expressed by Theresa
May when she made her resignation speech from the same
office of state in 2019 drew as much mirth as it did kindness.
Heather Christle, an Atlanta-based poet and writer who
chose to make crying the topic of her first non-fiction work,
attributes the taboo to an uncomfortableness with excess,
or outpourings of, emotion. ‘Crying is disruptive. Once it’s
happened, it makes it difficult for things to go on as before,’ she
says. ‘If someone is truly sobbing, it makes people feel really
uncomfortable.’ In The Crying Book, Heather examines the
why, when and how of this emotional expression, as well as the
culture that surrounds it. She believes the unease felt by many
is often linked to gender expectations. ‘Crying is associated
with both weakness and femininity and there are many ways
in which cultures devalue femininity,’ she says. A 2011 study
of self-reports from more than 7,000 people in 37 countries
suggested women cried on average 30 to 64 times a year in
comparison to men, who did so between five and 17 times.
Britta Hochkeppel, a UK-based naturopath and energy healer
who helps people process emotion, has seen time and again
in her 24 years of practice how people regard letting tears
flow freely as a sign of weakness. She explains: ‘It stems from
past generations who grew up being conditioned to believe
expressing their feelings and emotions would leave them
vulnerable, helpless and unable to survive.’ And this attitude
then becomes a self-perpetuating cycle: ‘As some people
struggle to connect and express their own emotions, they don’t
know how to react in certain situations when others express
their emotions.’ Britta encourages her clients to embrace crying.
‘It’s a cathartic process for mind and body. Any charged emotion
73
 that has accumulated to a level of discomfort needs to be
released for the human mind and body to recalibrate.’
London-based chiropractor and breathwork coach Charlie
Moult encourages her clients to cry in sessions: ‘It’s an
important part of processing intense emotions. It can help
finish a stress loop you never previously completed.’ Charlie
has also noticed that many feel uncomfortable with letting the
tears flow. ‘We get afraid of pulling ourselves down into a scary
space where we don’t feel good. But crying is crucial, as we must
truly feel to heal.’ She adds that in the west, crying is often seen
as negative and something to be avoided. ‘When people see
someone doing it, they want to stop it, they often want to fix the
problem. If a person caught me sobbing in the street, they would
want to help make me better,’ she says. ‘But there’s huge power
in just holding space for someone when they feel that way.’
Crying is both important and powerful. It’s one of our
defining features as humans. Unlike other primates, we
74
have three types of tears, each with a different chemical
composition: basal for lubrication, reflex for irritation and
emotional in response to feelings. The latter marks us out
from other animals, but all too often these tears are feared,
avoided or ignored, though many cultures understand and
embrace their importance (see opposite). There are signs that
things are shifting. Former footballer turned TV and radio
broadcaster Ian Wright was widely admired and respected for
his genuine, honest and open show of emotion when discussing
pivotal moments of his difficult upbringing with presenter
ILLUSTRATIONS: SILVIA STECHER
Lauren Laverne for an episode of Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs
in February last year. For me, crying will always feel more
comfortable in private, but I hope we’ll get to a point where
bursting into tears in public is more acceptable. After all,
experiencing emotion should never be wrapped up in shame.
Words: Elizabeth Bennett
A WORLD OF TEARS
Not all cultures find open displays of sobbing challenging. Here are a few
that embrace or are beginning to encourage the practice

• For West Africans, crying, in particular wailing, is expected behaviour at funerals.

The amount is believed to be reflective of the deceased’s social standing, how they
were viewed by the community or the love of their family. These services are big
social events, with families often spending more money on them than they would,
say, a wedding. Professional mourners are also sometimes hired, nearly always
women. The amount charged for this service depends on the crying style selected
and the size of the funeral.

• In traditional Indian weddings, the ritual of bidai (also known as doli in Sikh
ceremonies) is normally accompanied by crying. This is the final stage of the function
where the bride’s parents bid farewell to their daughter and she officially leaves their
family for their son-in-law’s. As sad Bollywood music and customary folk songs are
played, guests are often seen crying too.

• Japan, a country not known for embracing open or public displays of emotion,
is starting to see the rise of rui-katsu or tear-seeking events. Here, people gather
together for group crying sessions where the aim is catharsis and stress release.
Participants are usually exposed to a variety of tear-jerking content, such as short
films and poetry.

• In the Middle East, North Africa and South Asia, ululation – a long, wavering,
high-pitched vocal sound resembling a howl – is common practice at weddings,
temple rituals and festivities. Not so dissimilar from crying, it’s thought to drive out
negativity. It’s a collective experience normally performed by a crowd of women.
The call goes out, inviting others to join in and a wall of sound builds.

• Up to the 1950s, keening, a vocal mourning ritual performed at the wake or

graveside, was common practice at Irish funerals. Many argue its origins are from
the Gaelic caoineadh, meaning ‘crying’, and the art form included wailing, rocking
and clapping. Keening women attended mourning events to pay respect to the
deceased and express grief on behalf of the bereaved family.

75
 CREATIVITY

‘Music is the divine way to tell beautiful,

poetic things to the heart’
Pablo Casals
 Small works
Some are massive, others tiny, all have elements of scale and proportion to reflect a
version of reality. But can microscopic artworks have the same impact as their larger-
than-life counterparts? And what do they tell us about our own space in the world?

Abstract, conceptual, futuristic. Throughout the centuries,
artists have reflected the world around us in endlessly
fascinating ways, sometimes distorting reality, at other times
portraying it to scale, be that life-sized, miniature, oversized or
enormous. It’s a form of accuracy that arguably demonstrates
PHOTOGRAPHS: (THIS PAGE AND OPPOSITE) ALAMY.COM
a former silk mill and the site of the world’s oldest factory.
‘[It had] scale of production in terms of manufacturing at its
core,’ says Laura, ‘[and] using the breadth of our collection,
which showcases objects not usually displayed together, it’s
demonstrated how scale is used effectively and how it can be

the artist’s expertise and provides an authentic representation
of a subject. When practised within larger works, scale creates
visual impact – think of how one’s eyes are immediately drawn
to a wall-size painting in a gallery exhibition hall – and can be
a powerful tool for communication, but can the same result
be achieved when it’s employed in smaller examples?
For Laura Phillips, head of interpretation and display at
Derby Museums in the UK, the answer is an emphatic yes.
Part of the team behind Scale, a new exhibition housed in the
Museum of Making in Derby city centre, she says the collection,
which includes objects from natural history, fine art and social
history, illustrates how the use of scale affects the world. The
theme was inspired by the history of the museum building,
encountered in different ways.’
From the practical
One area where it’s frequently found is cartography. The
practice often demands precision in scale, a skill exemplified
by 18th-century cartographer Peter Perez Burdett, whose
intricate map of the Derby of his day is held at the Silk
Museum in Macclesfield. One of the first to be drawn using the
mathematical branch of trigonometry, it’s considered by many
to be a masterpiece, and its 1inch-to-1mile scale is celebrated
for its detailed and authentic depiction of the county, noting
landmarks, churches, coal mines and mills along with the
names of streets, villages and towns. But cartography wasn’t the

79
 only discipline that recognised the opportunities presented
by art on a small scale. It was also embraced by scientists who
saw its value as an educational tool and used glass models of
marine invertebrates, created by Germany-based father-and-
son duo Leopold and Rudolf Blaschka (see pages 78 and 79),
to study marine life during the 19th century.
‘In the absence of deep-sea photography these beautifully
detailed glass models of marine specimens were a part of
scientific practice and used as a learning tool,’ says Laura. ‘The
examples illustrate a common theme of small pieces of art
working as an effective method of representation in pre- and
early photographic periods of history.’
To the personal and political
This can also be seen in portrait miniatures (as pictured above),
a popular genre from the 17th to the early 19th century. These
a microscope, are hand-crafted and include engravings on
pinheads and specks of gold that can fit inside the eye of a
needle, require dexterity, precision and a seemingly impossible
attention to detail. The Golden Temple of Amritsar (below),
which took four months to complete and includes 3,340 cuts
into a gold pinhead, is one of his most intricate pieces. The
engraving process involves much preparation and Graham
builds in several planning stages to ensure accuracy: ‘I always
start a piece with an oversized sketch that I keep in front of my
microscope while working. Then I engrave it on a large piece of
brass that measures half an inch across. I need to know I’ve got
the spacing right before starting my design.’ Care and precision
are required right through to the last cut. ‘When I’m nearing
the end, I go very slowly,’ he says, ‘as I can’t risk ruining a piece
with only three or four cuts left.’
But what’s behind the enduring appeal and impact of these

PHOTOGRAPHS: (THIS PAGE, TOP) PICRYL.COM (BOTTOM) © GRAHAM SHORT. (OPPOSITE) © SLINKACHU
artworks also emphasised precision, but their purpose was almost-invisible works? ‘It’s certainly different,’ says Graham.
more intimate and sentimental: ‘These portable paintings ‘People are amazed when they look down the microscope.
allowed a personal connection with an object,’ says Laura. ‘Used They can’t believe [what they’re seeing]. That’s the best part for
as gifts in courtships and marriage proposals, and as mourning me. I [also] hope my work inspires young children to use their
jewellery, they enabled an important connection with an
absent loved one and were an intimate touchstone in terms of
relationships. They demonstrate the importance and the power
of smaller-scaled art.’
This power had been recognised and seized upon for more
political purposes many centuries earlier by medieval rulers
who connected with their country’s citizens in a direct, small
and subliminal way – currency. ‘Although coins are used
daily and are familiar objects, during history and throughout
different cultures they had an important purpose in propaganda
and influencing a nation,’ says Laura, ‘they communicated
messages, such as the appearance of a king or queen, long before
[the advent of] social media and technology.’

To the microscopic
Fast-forward to the present day and micro-artist Graham
Short, who has a studio in Birmingham, has taken the concept
of miniature to another level, with works that are invisible
to the naked eye. His designs, which can be viewed through

80
creativity. If it gains respect from knowledgeable people and
brings joy to a child’s face, then I’m content.’
To the playful and thought-provoking
London-based Slinkachu, a fellow artist manipulating the
concept of scale in the modern world, also finds childlike
wonder in the miniature. Using small figures, he creates
unusual, often humorous installations, in hidden and myriad
settings (see above). He suggests there’s a special quality found
within the miniature design aesthetic: ‘It allows you to create
your own world run by your own rules, that’s rare for most
people. There’s something almost magical about miniature
art in general. The fact you have to lean in close to view it and
engage with it creates a kind of intimate personal discovery, it’s
a world apart from our own world. Working in miniature is a
form of play that many people lose as they get older. For me, to
rediscover that childlike play and creation is rather magical.’
But that doesn’t, of course, mean it’s quick or easy. Like
Graham, Slinkachu’s work involves meticulous preparation.
‘I keep notebooks where I sketch ideas and I do a lot of people-
watching. Each installation can take a few hours to a few days
to create, depending on the complexity of the scene, although
the ideas themselves might have been evolving for longer.
‘Sometimes I’ll have a specific location in mind for an
installation, but more often I’ll walk around a city looking for
just a specific feature to incorporate – a drain, bench or tree,
for instance. I’m looking for the best way to tell the story of my
installation, and I like to think I’m shooting miniature filmsets.’
As his installations are small and hidden, Slinkachu hopes
they encourage people to be more aware of their surroundings.
‘I love urban art that surprises, art that can be found when and
where you least expect to see it and makes you smile or stop and
think. My scenes can also have a deeper emotional response,
I love to have humour in my work, but I try to tell stories that
hopefully have some truths in them. I discovered viewers
empathised with the models and that made me want to explore
how to tell a narrative or create emotion in a static shot. I feel
the use of miniature in art should be to reflect our own world.’
Whether this is done via coins, maps, glassware, pinheads
or contemporary installations, it seems likely that small works
will continue to have a big impact for a long while yet. And
maybe they’re a reminder that while our own presence in the
world might sometimes feel unimportant, that individually and
collectively, we, too, can also make a difference.
Words: Janine Sterland
Find out more about Scale, which is available to view now, at
derbymuseums.org. Check gov.uk for local travel advice.
To get a close-up view of Graham’s art, visit graham-short.com,
and to see more of Slinkachu’s work, visit slinkachu.com.
81
 ‘Handwriting is more connected
to the movement of the heart’
NATALIE GOLDBERG
Post script?
It’s an ancient art and a unique means of expression. But could handwriting skills be lost in the
age of email correspondence and fingerprint recognition? Here’s why it’s worth fighting for
At primary school, one of my favourite lessons was handwriting.
This was in the 1970s, when it was considered an art and an
important and respected life skill. While handwriting is still
part of the national curriculum for English, there is no specific
guidance about how it should be taught in school, according
to the National Handwriting Association. Its website debates
whether handwriting is an ancient art or a modern-day tool,
a universal skill or something personal. Arguably, it can be all
of these, and more.
For many centuries, the way someone presented themselves
on paper – in handwritten letters and other correspondence
– was considered almost as important as how they came
across in person. As it was often their first step in introducing
themselves to a stranger, it was an important way to make a
good impression. The arrival of manual typewriters in the late
19th century offered an alternative, but touch typing was loud
and laborious, and the lack of autocorrect meant every mistake
had to be erased with Tippex before being typed over.
Fast-forward to nearly a century later and there was much
excitement about the increased availability of personal
computers and the technology’s potential to transform lives
(its word-processing functions and ‘delete’ key were
82
undoubtedly a blessing for those with less-than-perfect
typing skills if not the makers of correction fluid). Electronic
mail followed offering speedier and more easily shared
communication (who knew back then that it would become
the bane of many people’s lives, pinging incessantly in the
background?). But not everyone was convinced. And some
chose to hang on to their writing skills as something to be
treasured, not discarded.
In fact, many contemporary writers, including Margaret
Atwood, David Foster Wallace and Martin Amis, have revealed
they write their first drafts in longhand. For them, the physical
act of writing words on to the page is an intrinsic part of the
creative process. Amis has previously described his thoughts
on the matter: ‘When you scratch out a word, it still exists
there on the page. On the computer, when you delete a word
it disappears forever. This is important because usually your
first instinct is the right one.’
Original manuscripts and handwritten letters can also be
fascinating to read. Collectors love to pore over the visible side
notes and corrections of famous writers, as these marked-up
errors or edits offer a special insight into a writer’s thoughts.
It’s impossible to glean such detail and colour from a printed
83
 document. For many, however, the process of putting pen
to paper demands preparation and is too time-consuming.
It also calls for confidence and a conviction that they might
worry they don’t possess. But this slower approach can lead to
greater thoughtfulness, something that has, arguably, been less
explored than graphology, the scientific study of handwriting
and what it can reveal about your personality (see issue 33).
Yet the process of writing is a mindful craft. Handwriting
is a complex skill to master, similar to drawing – holding a
pen requires as much dexterity as holding a pencil. Good
handwriting takes time and practice, focus, sophisticated eye-
to-hand coordination and the ability to make design decisions.
If you haven’t penned anything by hand for some time, your
first attempt at writing a card or letter might resemble barely
legible scribbles. But if you persevere, you might find it can also
be relaxing and rewarding, and the rewards are handsome in
terms of satisfaction.
Returning to my own childhood, for example, I recall
handwriting lessons as tranquil occasions when even the most
unruly pupils sat quietly and concentrated on forming letters
in different styles, attempting to make them look attractive on
the page. We copied out poetry, which enabled us to learn about
84
structure and composition and expanded our vocabulary. We
began by learning the italic script, which was developed in the
Italian Renaissance and is still popular today.
Later on, there was the fun of practising my signature as a
teenager, which was a rite of passage and an important part of
becoming an adult. A personal signature sets you apart from
everyone else and is legally binding – it’s essential for traditional
banking transactions and personal cheques, for example. With
facial and fingerprint recognition increasingly commonplace,
however, even this handwritten flourish might become a thing
of the past.
In the hope of preventing this, let’s take a moment to consider
the lessons we can glean from the handwritten notes of past
generations, the focus it can bring to our own lives today and
the personal messages it can convey in the future. After all, the
ILLUSTRATIONS: MICHELLE URRA
way each person forms their letters, their pressure patterns,
rhythm, spacing and layout is unique. Even identical twins who
share the same DNA have different handwriting. Shouldn’t we
hang on to this highly personal artistic craft that we spent so
much time and effort perfecting?
Words: Jenny Cockle
 HANDWRITING PRACTICE
Use this space to pen a few thoughts, a letter to
yourself or even to just go over your signature
 ‘Music is very spiritual,
it has the power to bring
people together’
EDGAR WINTER
Put your records on
Reliving musical memories is not just a pleasure, it can
strengthen relationships and add colour to your family story
Have you ever been transported to another time or place by
a specific song? Music fills everyday life, the songs we wake
up to, the tracks we hear as we shop and the numbers we
dance along to at any time. Sometimes, a tune is obvious –
every generation ends up with a number they know by heart
and is guaranteed to fill any wedding dance foor (think Neil
Diamond’s Sweet Caroline or S Club 7’s Reach). Most, however,
are subtle and personal, which is why when you hear them
in a lift, over the car radio or even while walking around the
supermarket it’s hard not to react. You might burst into song
involuntarily, smile broadly or even shed a tear. They’re the ones
that bring back significant events or cherished moments.
For many, the sweetness or meaning in a song can be
deepened by sharing it with others. Discussing where you were
when you first heard a track or the way it makes you feel now is
also a great way to explore its resonance and pass these insights
to friends and family, even to the next generation – you could,
for example, spend a whole evening dissecting Don McLean’s
1971 classic American Pie. So, next time you have a family get-
together, why not arrange for each person to share their musical
gems – and be ready to turn up the volume?
You could think of it as a homespun version of the long-
running BBC radio series Desert Island Discs. The show invites
guests, who have ranged from pianist Alfred Brendel to actor
Whoopi Goldberg, to discuss eight tracks that make up the
soundtrack of their lives before being forced to whittle it down
to the one they would keep if cast away on a deserted spot. For
86
your evening of reminiscence, extend the invitation far and
wide and share stories of songs across the generations. Ask older
relatives to dig out a song they used to dance the night away
to, or recall a track you listened to in your teens. Describe the
setting, who you were with, what you wore, how it made you
feel and why it still holds significance today.
When trying this with my family, my choice was Be More Kind
by singer-songwriter Frank Turner. I find it beautiful with lyrics
including: ‘In a world that has decided/ That it’s going to lose
its mind/ Be more kind, my friends.’ But it also makes me smile,
having first heard it at a gig with one of my best friends. It was
one of the final numbers of the night as I joined other audience
members, many tipsy by this point, linking arms and swaying
along while singing at the tops of our voices.
When I shared this memory, it prompted laughter as well as
mock horror from my parents (surrounded by drunk people, the
outrage!). My mum, meanwhile, chose Time in a Bottle by Jim
Croce (which she demanded be played at her funeral) and my
dad opted for Luciano Pavarotti’s rendition of Nessun Dorma,
part of a memorable soundtrack to his and Mum’s second (rainy)
date at the tenor’s Hyde Park concert in 1991 (the rather better-
known Princess Diana and Prince Charles also attended).
Whatever your choices, the tracks that tell your story can also
become part of the fabric of others’ lives, but which one will get
your friends and family laughing, weeping or talking?
Turn the page for five ideas to help you pin down your song
87
88
 NEED INSPIRATION FOR YOUR SONG SELECTION?
1 Rewind and rediscover
Dust off your old records, cassettes and CDs or click
through your online playlists to unearth forgotten favourite
artists and songs.
2 Recall special moments
Is there a particular event that sticks firmly in your mind,
maybe a random act at Glastonbury or a treasured waltz with
your dad at a family wedding? Or is there one song that sums up
a blissful summer holiday or a flat-share with friends?
3 Channel the power
ILLUSTRATIONS: LEA REUSSE
How about a composition that fills you with confidence
and strength? It might even be empowering. Maybe you
remember marching to Born This Way by Lady Gaga at a
Pride parade or singing along to 1970s feminist anthem I Am
Woman by Helen Reddy. Find and share a song that made you
feel incredible.
4 Send chills down the spine
Have you ever felt your heart race or the hairs on your skin
rise when listening to powerful lyrics? Share those that made
you well up with tears of sadness or joy, and consider why they
made you feel so strongly. For instance, Ain’t No Reason by Brett
Dennen has the poetic lines ‘People walk around pushing back
their debts/Wearing pay cheques like necklaces and bracelets…’
5 Employ all the senses
Hearing isn’t the only sense in play when listening to
music. Think about taste, sight and smell. You could, for example,
choose something that reminds you of an incredible meal and
make everyone hungry as you describe deliciously and succinctly
the delectable drinks and dishes you enjoyed. Alternatively, call
to mind a track or composition whose bass powers through the
airwaves and touches your heart.
Words: Ilona Cabral
89
 Cultivated pleasures
A visit to a garden can spark creativity, connect you to a community or just be good for the soul
The 17th-century philosopher Francis Bacon had ideas about
gardens and their design that resonate today. In his essay On
Gardens of 1625, he wrote that they are ‘the purest of human
pleasures. It is the greatest refreshment to the spirits of man’.
It remains true that while relaxing or toiling in our own green
spaces can bring delights and benefits, taking the time to visit
other gardens can be both a lovely way to spend an hour – or
a whole day – and creatively stimulating. In a survey by the
National Garden Scheme published in September 2020, 53 per
cent of the respondents said that visiting a garden aided their
creativity, while 85 per cent said it was ‘good for the soul’.
Whether they’re community-based, botanical, housed within
a stately setting, or large and open for all to view, these green
areas have something to offer and to inspire. The pandemic has
also seen many given a digital life with organisations offering
virtual tours of their spaces online. So, even if it’s not possible to
visit a place in person, their plants and vistas can still be viewed
and enjoyed. And each trip, be it virtual or in person, can bring
something new to the attention, even in a familiar garden,
whether it’s a previously unknown flower, a historical aspect
or simply an appreciation of the sunlight shining through the
trees. As there’s growth and change in the character of these
spaces, not just through the seasons but also year on year, it’s
often worth revisiting to see what’s new.
From grand designs
Every garden is a reflection of its owner’s – and often a
designer’s – style. It’s worth visiting a range of places to note
how they work in practice, as designs can be emulated (even on
a small scale). Take pictures of borders and note down plants
that work well within a design. Chatting to the gardeners who
manage them can also be a source of inspiration. Matthew
Pottage is curator of Wisley, the Royal Horticultural Society’s
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(RHS) garden near Woking in Surrey. He recommends that
‘regular visitors explore the areas of their favourite gardens they
don’t typically visit, take time to look at plant groups which
aren’t their normal cup of tea, and try to talk to a gardener who
is working with a plant group they don’t know much about.’ He
adds: ‘It’s important to challenge your own likes and dislikes.’
Bring it back
A great way to remember a garden, of course, is to bring a piece
of it home. That might involve buying a plant from the on-site
shop and potting it in your own space or incorporating some
of a design’s elements or colour palette into other areas of your
life. The shades of green in a springtime arboretum might
be the perfect colour for a kitchen refresh, or a combination
of summer perennials in a border could inspire a new outfit.
Alternatively, a photo of a blazing-red autumnal scene could be
set as wallpaper on your phone and serve as a regular reminder
of your visit and the pleasure it brought.
Photographing plants and gardens is an easy way to be
creatively inspired by them, and if you take pictures on your
phone, there’s no need for lots of specialist equipment. For the
best shots, award-winning photographer Jason Ingram suggests
‘going as early or as late as the opening times allow because
the light will always be better and there will be fewer people’.
If this isn’t possible, and if it’s a really sunny day, he says: ‘Try
to shoot into the light rather than having it behind you. As
a rule, keep the sun at 10 to or 10 past the hour,’ – the ‘hour’
being represented by the plant or subject of the photograph.
Experiment with angles, zoom out, zoom right in and use the
feel and style of the whole space to influence your images and
give them a personal touch.
Turn over for more on the joy of green spaces
91
 Taking the time to notice details is, of course, a great way to
see and appreciate a stem, a bloom or a frond, and while a
photograph will reflect such individuality, for some it’s just a
bit too speedy. But there is an alternative, a notebook and pen
or pencils. Pop them in your bag, find a quiet bench on which
to sit and sketch (either alone or with company). It truly is a
wonderful way to make the most of your visit. Drawing is a
contemplative process, so focus on how this can really bring
out the elements, mood and minutiae of a garden, and on the
feelings of calm it can induce.
Artist Jennifer Chance of Jack-in-the-Green Gallery in
Burford, Shropshire, recommends sketching the first thing that
catches your eye. She says ‘interesting forms and shapes work
best’ rather than those that are the most obvious. ‘If you’re
visiting a rose garden, you don’t have to paint a rose. Draw
what you’re attracted to. It’s not cheating to finish it later using
photos for reference.’ Of course, while practice helps, the end
result might not always match up to the vision, but Jennifer
emphasises that ‘this is for your enjoyment, so every drawing
doesn’t have to be perfect’. Her own sketchbook is, she says ‘full
of half-finished drawings and ones I’m not so keen on, but I see
it is a record of things I like and have been inspired by’.
You don’t have to rely on inspiration striking while you’re
visiting a garden. A photograph, jotted note or sketch, or a fallen
leaf picked up and sandwiched into a diary might later become
a lino print, the opening scene of a novel or a piece of micro-
fiction. Wisley’s Matthew suggests that a good way to improve
gardening knowledge is to ‘choose a favourite plant of the day
every time you visit a garden and read up about it when you
get home’. If a close friend or family member also enjoys your
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hobby, you could also begin a correspondence about your visits
and discoveries. Writing and receiving letters is a wonderful
way to preserve the memories of a trip, enhance a relationship
and bring a personal perspective to the experience. Every visitor
enjoys a garden in their own way, noticing different plants and
other aspects such as the light, bees and butterflies, flowers,
fragrance and even birdsong. Encapsulating these elements in a
letter can make the recipient feel as though they’d been by your
side, walking along the borders.
Get grounded
Gardens are rooted (pun intended) in history and location and
are wonderful ways to help visitors feel part of a place. Villages
and towns often have community days, where several residents
open their gardens to form a trail, which is a wonderful way to
meet neighbours and swap green-fingered knowhow and plants.
Some larger spaces also have volunteer programmes, where
you can help out as a guide or get stuck in with the gardener,
which can also help to increase knowledge and forge bonds with
like-minded people. Gardens are a source of both escapism and
inspiration and, large or small, are all around us. They might
be an encouragement to follow creative pursuits, or just an
opportunity for a breath of fresh air and a chance to appreciate
ILLUSTRATIONS: HOLLY ACLAND
nature’s creations, but each is wonderful in its own way.
Words: Holly Farrell
Holly studied at RHS Gardens Wisley and is the author of several
gardening titles including Planting Plans for Your Kitchen Garden
and RHS Gardening for Mindfulness.
PLAN YOUR POTTERING
• Choose a quieter time of day to visit. There might be fewer people earlier and later in the day.
Some gardens have open evenings and/or special days when dogs are also welcome.
• Check with the owners or gardeners if you are planning to spend some time on an artistic
endeavour. Most will be more than happy to accommodate you, but some might have rules about
photography, for example.
• Engage with the gardening team. Most will be genuinely pleased to explain what they’re doing
and why. Ask what they like in the space, as they might point you towards an area or plant that
would otherwise have escaped your eye, and don’t be afraid to mention technical questions. If you
need help to identify a plant, it’s a good idea to have a photo or a sample of it (keep it bagged to
avoid any cross-contamination).
• Take a notebook or use your phone to record plant names and pictures. When taking a
picture of a plant for future reference, always snap the label as well (if it has one) or find out the
name from a gardener. It helps to jog the memory when, days or weeks later, you decide you’d
like to order one.
• Maximise the chances of success for a creative expedition by checking the weather forecast.
Rain, for example, might not be conducive to sketching, but it could offer the chance to take
pictures of raindrops hanging onto the edges of leaves and flowers instead.

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 Reading room
Struggling to find time to sit down with a good book or lost for inspiration as to what to pick up?
Here’s how to turn over a new leaf and make a soul-enriching passion a habit for life
Do you often find yourself starting to read a book only to leave
it sitting on the shelf for months, unfinished? Perhaps you have
an ever-growing to-read list but struggle to get stuck in? There
are countless studies that suggest reading regularly can improve
mental health, increase empathy and expand knowledge. Even
when the benefits are known, however, committing time to do
it regularly can be tough.
That’s where consciously cultivating a daily or weekly routine
comes in. It was Joseph Addison, the 18th-century English poet,
essayist and playwright, who said ‘reading is to the mind what
exercise is to the body’. Following that sentiment, just as regular
physical workouts can improve fitness, developing a reading
routine can strengthen the mind.
Building any habit, of course, takes time, practice and
persistence, so start by finding out what works for you. Not
sure how? There are various ways to flex that reading muscle.
Here are just a few...
Create a community. Finding others who are eager to read
is a great way to discover new books and make new friends,
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whether that means renewing a book-delivery subscription,
joining a club (see issues 18 and 36) or starting a social-media
page for literature fans.
One place to look for inspiration is #bookstagram,
Instagram’s global community of bibliophiles. Its followers’
suggestions include anything from apples to architecture (and
everything in-between) and their posts reflect the broad church
of interests, ideas and perspectives that you’d expect from
such a large and diverse group of followers. Among them is
Michelle K Martin, who started her bookstagram account
@michellereadsbooks in 2018 and has 42,000 followers. She
hosts the New York City chapter of The Literary League, a
digital and in-person book club with groups in more than
30 cities worldwide. Her corner of the internet is about sharing
recommendations and reading routines as well as building
a welcoming community.
Set fresh goals. Michelle believes having a reading target can
help to build a regular habit. It could be the number of pages
you’d like to get through each day, how many books you want
 to read in a year, a combination of both, or one of your own
choice. For Michelle, it’s a case of setting a big goal and working
backwards to create smaller ones from that point. ‘Say I want
to read 52 books in a year,’ she says, ‘I know I have to read one
on average per week and I know a 300-pager takes around four
to six hours for me to read. This means if I set aside an hour
per day to read, I’ll hit my goal.’ For new enthusiasts, Michelle
suggests beginning with a commitment of 10 minutes or
10 pages a day, whichever works for you, and setting bigger
goals once you get into the swing of it.
Make it a date. Carve out a little time for your new habit each
day – or even once a week – reserved for just you and your book.
For example, you could keep a stack on your bedside table and
reach for a read first thing in the morning, before the day’s
distractions get in the way. Or you might prefer to get through
a couple of pages before you go to sleep, as you start to unwind
for the night.
Another option is to carry a book (or two, depending on
weight) in your rucksack or bag on the daily commute and
ILLUSTRATION: MASHA MANAPOV
commit to reading one chapter or a set number of pages on
the way to and from work. For those based at home, it might
be easier to enjoy a couple of pages at breakfast or lunchtime.
Michelle says remote working has enabled her to be more
flexible about when she dips into her books: ‘I’ve started leaving
them on the table, so when I sit down I’m more inclined to read
some pages rather than scroll on my phone.’ A midday break,
whether at home or on-site, also offers the opportunity to hit
the pause button and start the rest of the day refreshed. The
advantage of being in your own space, of course, is you’re never
far from your favourite blanket or chair either.
Remember it’s personal. Many bibliophiles will tell you their
biggest nightmare is a reading slump, where no tome grabs the
attention or the heart, and the hobby starts to feel like a chore.
This can happen when people start to believe they should be
reading certain books, particular authors or specific genres.
One way to reignite interest and bring back the joy is to revert
to subjects and voices that hold personal interest. ‘There’s
an endless number of books in the world, so try to read what
makes you happy and not what you think you should read,’ says
Michelle, adding that if you’re more than 50 pages into a book
and it’s still not interesting, it might be time to put it aside.
Keep it simple. Rather than starting a new reading routine with
a door-stopping classic or convention-busting prize winner,
you could opt for short (though not necessarily sweet) options.
A novella, some popular poetry or a special-interest title might
be the one to get you turning the pages.
It might take time and patience until reaching for a book
becomes habitual, but once you build it into your daily or
weekly routine it can be a great way to ensure you’re reaping
everything the world of reading has to offer.
Words: Heather Grant
95
 ESCAPE

‘I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery – air, mountains,

trees, people. I thought: “This is what it is to be happy”’
Sylvia Plath
 See the world your way
If you go exploring this year, be it near or far,
don’t forget to pack a notebook and pen
It broadens the mind, reveals exciting cultures,
offers fresh experiences and, importantly, brings an
opportunity to break free from the daily routine. To
travel somewhere new, near or far and for one day or
six months, is to have the chance to enrich your life
and to challenge – or even change – your perspective. It
can prove to be one of life’s true deep-and-meaningful
experiences. And writing about it is a way to add
further depth, encapsulating everything you could see,
hear, smell and even touch or taste at a given moment.
A great way to do this is to take a travel journal on
every trip and view your destinations with a writer’s
eye, exploring your thoughts, your inner perception of
the world around you and everything your senses filter
through to the mind. And far from being just a record
that you look back on in years to come (though that in
itself is wonderful), it’s a way of living more intensely
in the present, of drawing your attention to things you
might not have noticed otherwise.
As author Pico Iyer, whose books Video Night in
Kathmandu and The Lady and the Monk explore crossing
cultures, says: ‘It doesn’t matter where or how far you
go – the farther commonly the worse – the important
thing is how alive you are. Writing of every kind is a
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way to wake oneself up and keep as alive as when one
has just fallen in love.’
Although I’m originally from the UK, for the past
14 years I’ve lived outside the land of my birth, and
my notebook has never been far from my side. It
was my constant companion during my travels across
Asia and it is the repository of all that I find charming
(or not) about mainland Europe. For me, the process
of writing while travelling is much more than noting
down what I’ve done each day. It creates a parallel
world of my thoughts and words, which help me feel
more alive and present. I could, for example, have taken
a photograph of the golden light of a Tuscan sunset
shining onto an old stone house. But why, when the
experience was so much more than this? It was the
warmth of the sun and how the beauty of the scene
stirred deep emotions within me.
Similarly, I could have snapped a digital image of the
food I shared with a friend at a local restaurant, but
it wouldn’t have conveyed the complexity of flavours,
the cosy tiny surroundings, our shared laughter or the
eavesdropping couple sitting at the table next to us.
Committing these asides to paper managed to do all
of this and cemented these peak experiences to
99
 memory. Equally, a notebook is a non-judgmental place to be
honest about the not-so-picture-perfect aspects of a journey,
be they grimy streets, breathtakingly unpleasant odours or
disastrous meals. Here are a few tips for enriching your journey
while keeping a travel journal.
Set your intentions
In his book The Art of Travel, philosopher Alain de Botton
explains how much of the joy of travel is found in its
anticipation. The book begins with de Botton being lured away
from a wintry English scene by pictures of the sun-drenched
beaches of Barbados. Here he describes how anticipating and
imagining a trip is a way of crafting it into something different
from reality: ‘The anticipatory and artistic imaginations omit
and compress, they cut away the periods of boredom and direct
our attention to critical moments and, without either lying or
embellishing, thus lend to life a vividness and a coherence that
it may lack in the distracting woolliness of the present.’
He also relays the story of Jean des Esseintes, the central
character in Joris-Karl Huysmans’ 1884 novel À rebours
or Against Nature, as evidence that the anticipation of a
journey can be as meaningful as the travel or the destination.
Huysmans’ portrayal is of a nature-hating man who longs to
visit Holland, but ends up feeling more connected to it while
looking at images in a museum than he does with the real
unedited country.
With this in mind, beginning your journal as soon as any
trips slide into view is a great way to start the process. You
could explore why you’re drawn to a certain place or country,
what you hope to get from the holiday and how you’d like to
feel at the end of it. Setting intentions for a trip can help you
to get the most out of it. As well as the obvious guidebooks and
100
online information, read around your destination and look for
novels set in the area. If you were heading to the Greek island
of Kefalonia for example, you might include Louis de Bernières’
Captain Corelli’s Mandolin on your reading list while travellers
to Nigeria would get an insightful account of the country’s civil
war in Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Half of a Yellow Sun. More
than information for a holiday itinerary, they offer vision and
history and can help to fuel anticipation (see issues 34 and 35
for more suggestions).
What to write – and when
In my teenage diary I wrote down everything I did each day.
After a while however, it became a chore. Some days were
empty and full of nothing, while others were awash with
excitement and busyness and offered plenty to write about
but little time to do it.
Keeping a journal works well if you write when you feel the
urge, so don’t put yourself under any pressure to diligently
record the events of every day before bedtime. If that suits
you, that’s fine, but it can be equally as productive to scribble
whenever you have a spare moment or even at breakfast. Choose
what works best for you. Equally, your note-taking could
influence where you go and the experiences you have. If you see
an interesting café, for example, which has a perfect table where
you can sip a coffee while scribbling away, it could become an
ILLUSTRATIONS: MONICA CHOI
adventure in itself. Having a journal as a constant companion
reminds you to see things through the eyes of a writer.
You might choose to note down the places of everywhere you
visit, the names of everyone you talk to and the ingredients
of every dish you eat, but equally you might decide to go for a
broader sweep – recording feelings and sensations – and eschew
the minutiae. You might well do both. The important thing
is not to pressure yourself to mention everything all the time.
Jump from moment to moment, skip days, go back and forth –
follow your thoughts, letting your mind decide what to include.
Look beyond the actualité
As well as writing about where you’ve been, what you’ve seen
and what you’ve done, include how you felt and what you
thought. Is the trip fulfilling your dreams, or have there been
disappointments? Being honest can often provide rich, peculiar
and entertaining insights – perhaps the Leaning Tower of Pisa
didn’t live up to your expectations, but you loved the fact that
a bus driver encouraged your broken Italian and was happy to
let you practise it for a few minutes. A candid approach also
allows you to record lessons learned – both positive and
negative – and to appreciate that some of the best adventures
happen when you least expect them.
Bring in the senses
Deepen your perception of an experience by exploring it
through all your senses. This is a great activity if you’re gazing
out of a train or bus window, while sitting in a street café or
lying down on the grass in a bustling park. You could begin with
a meditation and spend a minute or two focusing on each of the
senses before creating sensory postcards where you write down
a few words or sentences describing the scene from the point of
view of each one – sight, sound, taste, touch and smell. Capture
your experiences with words.
Use your imagination
Throw out the rulebook about what’s allowed in a diary. Fact
and fiction can intermingle. If you’re people-watching at a
busy bus station, for example, imagine the lives of your fellow
passengers; if you’re staying at an old villa, speculate about the
people who built it and its original occupants; or if a waft of an
unfamiliar spice hits the back of your throat, ponder on what
it might be, which dish it might be used in and who might be
holding the pestle. Let everything around you inspire you and
then allow your imagination to fill in the gaps.
See the big picture
Getting lost, delayed flights, double-booked accommodation.
Travel hiccups – and full-blown dramas – have the potential
for great diary entries. Your journal can be a friend in times of
crisis and conflict (both good starting points for fiction, too)
and help to put smaller concerns into perspective and work out
solutions to bigger problems. It might even be able to allay some
of the stress. Travelling isn’t always easy, but often that’s where
the most interesting stories lie. Don’t forget to pack your pen.
Words: Kate Orson
101
 Organic earth
Marvel at the wonders of our natural world with some of Breathe’s
favourites from 2020’s World Nature Photography Awards

Survival of the fittest

Arlette Magiera, Murchison Falls National Park, Uganda

102
The world is going upside down

Thomas Vijayan, Tanjung Puting National Park, Borneo

103
 The kiss

Vittorio Ricci, Aveto Regional Natural Park, Italy

104
Muddy rhino

Darren Donovan, Madikwe Game Reserve, South Africa

105
 Andre Fajardo

Christa Funk, Hawaiian Islands

106
A landscape and a lifestyle To see more of the 2020 winners’ gallery,
visit worldnaturephotographyawards.com.
Mark McInnis, Alaska, US

107
 Island life
Memories of the ebb and flow of life in the Keys

108
 ‘Key West is the place to go
Down by the Gulf of Mexico
Beyond the sea, beyond the
shifting sand
Key West is the gateway key
To innocence and purity
Key West, Key West is the
enchanted land’
BOB DYLAN

It’s dawn in Key West, Florida. Golden light shimmers into

my room in Margaritaville Resort as the sun climbs over the
southernmost town in mainland US, coaxing me awake and
beckoning me onto my balcony at 7am. Dressed in a robe,
I drink my coffee and watch seabirds swoop through the candy
PHOTOGRAPHS: (THIS PAGE, TOP AND BOTTOM) BETH HIGHAM (CENTRE) SHUTTERSTOCK.COM. (OPPOSITE) SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

floss sky, as the marina below comes to life. It’s already warm
when I flip-flop to breakfast before boarding a catamaran and
setting sail in search of dolphins. Today, life is grand. Today,
I live on an island.

It’s all about the journey

The 150-mile drive along the Overseas Highway from Miami
to Key West is one of the world’s greatest road trips. Bridges
link the tropical coral cays of the Florida Keys – a sun-drenched
archipelago scattered between the Atlantic Ocean to the left
and the Gulf of Mexico to the right, with blue skies straight
ahead. After touching down at Miami International Airport,
I begin the drive south, skirting the wild wetlands of the
Everglades, with its ancient forests and swamps, and arriving at
Key Largo in time for sundowners around fire pits on the beach.
Name-checked in classic American songs and movies, this
legendary destination is the gateway to the Florida Keys – and
mainland US’s only living coral reef system. John Pennekamp
Coral Reef State Park and the adjacent Florida Keys National
Marine Sanctuary cover around 178 nautical square miles of
reefs, mangroves and seagrass beds, home to turtles, rays and
rainbow shoals of tropical fish. Choppy winds scupper my
morning snorkel tour and keep the park’s glass-bottom boats
and kayaks moored ashore, but from the beach at the Playa
Largo Resort, the azure waters of Florida Bay still look inviting.

Adjusting to island time

An hour from the glitz and glamour of downtown Miami, the
Upper Keys’ Playa Largo Resort & Spa is a world away and,

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 SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

like the lime-green iguanas that lounge amid the palms, the
afternoon sees me lazing poolside, eating a laid-back lunch,
swinging in hammocks and resetting my body to island time.
Later, I join an Enviro-Tour with Captain Ginnie, exploring
the Bay’s inlets by boat. While many head for the thrills and
spills of Orlando’s Walt Disney World and Universal Studios,
the Keys are Florida’s flip side, offering exciting encounters of
the natural, but no-less enchanting kind. Instead of the cartoon
critters from Finding Nemo, we search for real-life magical
manatees and seahorses in the seagrass, and see alien-like
horseshoe crabs that have existed for 450 million years, living
fossils straight out of Jurassic Park.

Magical marine life

Further south lies Islamorada, where I browse the craft stalls
and have lunch among wandering wild iguanas, before feeding
a thrash of giant tarpons, the Florida Keys’ famous game fish.
Driving on, I reach Marathon Key and the beautiful Isla Bella,
a secluded beachfront resort with balconies overlooking a mile-
long curve of dazzling white sand. Manatees feed in the waters
around the resort’s marina, and from the restaurant, dolphins
can be seen playing offshore, as guests dine al fresco.
Sunrise brings yoga on a deck overlooking the ocean while
at dusk, paintbox skies give way to star-spangled heavens,
silhouetting the towering palms swaying softly overhead.
Rooms and suites reflect the marine view, with splashes of
beach blues and greys contrasting crisp whites. For two nights,

110
 this is my own island ‘beach house’, set in lush gardens with the
added bonus of a pool and bar. Dragging myself away, I drive
over the Keys’ Seven Mile Bridge to Big Pine Key, for the chance
to explore the Lower Florida Keys’ idyllic backcountry by kayak.
Captain Bill Keogh meets me in his 19ft Carolina Skiff and
PHOTOGRAPHS: (THIS PAGE) ROB O’NEAL. (OPPOSITE) LAUREN JARVIS, UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED
we set off to explore the mangrove islands of the Great White
Heron and Key Deer National Wildlife Refuges. We’ve done
this before, when Captain Bill and his dog Scupper took me
kayaking through a tangle of mangrove tunnels in 2013. The
pooch is 11 now and resting at home but, reassuringly in our
ever-changing world, much else is the same. Launching the
kayaks, we paddle softly through the shallows, and Bill points
out lemon sharks and rays as white ibis ride the ocean breezes
overhead. This is his home and he has an impressive backyard.
Eclectic architecture
My final stop, Key West, is the ultimate fun-packed island
town. Attracting artists and musicians, watersports lovers and
those in search of a sunnier way of life, the US’s most southerly
point is seductive, with many who visit deciding to stay a while
longer, or never leave. It’s also an easy wander to join the nightly
sunset celebrations or to hop on to a champagne cruise, which
sails offshore as the sun sinks into the Gulf.
Just 100 miles from Cuba, Key West’s varied architectural
styles – from Victorian mansions to single-storey wooden
shacks, Bahamian-inspired ‘conch’ houses with verandas and
shuttered windows to pastel-coloured, clapboard cottages –
blend to create a charm all of its own, with ancient banyan trees
and swaying palms adding the finishing touch to the island
vibe. Of them all, The Ernest Hemingway Home and Museum
(pictured above) is one of the best known, with tours of the
Spanish colonial house, studio and gardens exploring the life
and work of the legendary American novelist, as the estate’s
famous 40-50 polydactyl (six-toed) cats lounge in the sun.
After a week in the Keys, my own thoughts float free, as the
catamaran sets sail into the blue from the marina. Our captain
scans the horizon for dolphins, while we snorkel the warm
waters surrounded by fish, and lobsters peek out from the rocks
below. Back on the boat, sleek grey shadows appear at the bow,
surfing the waves, free and wild, bringing smiles from above
as we make for the shore. ‘Every day above earth is a good day,’
Hemingway wrote in The Old Man and The Sea. But here on the
island, surrounded by nature and the endless ebb and flow of
the sea, every day above earth can be a great day.
Words: Lauren Jarvis
Lauren is a travel writer with a special interest in wildlife,
wellness, adventure and conservation. See @laurenjarvistravels
A seven-night stay in the Florida Keys with americaasyoulikeit.
com starts from £1,455 per person. Find out more about the Florida
Keys and Key West at fla-keys.co.uk and for more on Florida, see
visitflorida.com. Visit gov.uk for up-to-date travel advice.
111
 ‘Be thou the rainbow in the storms of life.
The evening beam that smiles the clouds away,
and tints tomorrow with prophetic ray’
LORD BYRON
Natural beauty
Rainbows are viewed as symbols of thanks, hope and
solidarity. But what is it that makes them so special?
The late American poet and activist Maya Angelou advised:
‘Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.’ It’s a wonderful way
to describe being kind to others, and many before her have
been similarly inspired by this natural phenomenon in the sky.
In Greek mythology, Iris is the goddess of the rainbow and a
messenger linking the gods to humanity. The ancient people of
Serbia believed that a rainbow was the storm god’s bow, while
in Christianity, they’re a promise of better times to come – with
one appearing to Noah after the great flood. More recently,
they’ve come to symbolise hope and respect across the world,
having been adopted by the LGBTQ+ community as an emblem
of inclusivity, and displayed around the UK as a mark of thanks
to the National Health Service. So, what is it about these
multicoloured motifs that inspires such appreciation?
The word ‘rainbow’ is from the Latin arcus pluvius, meaning
‘rainy arch’. Think of their semicircular shape – they’re literally
a rain-bow. The UK Met Office describes them as ‘one of
nature’s most colourful meteorological events’, created when
sunlight is scattered from droplets of water into the eyes of the
viewer – in other words they only exist because we see them.
Even though raindrops are thought to be teardrop-like in shape,
most of them are actually spherical and it’s this that offers the
conditions for a rainbow to be observed. The position of the
sun and the raindrops – or mist, fog or dewdrops – needs to be
just right, which is why they’re often glanced so fleetingly. To
see a rainbow, the sun needs to be behind the viewer and low
in the sky, at an angle of less than 42 degrees from the horizon,
while the rain or source of water droplets must be in front of
the viewer. Light hitting the raindrops at an angle changes
direction (refraction), with white light dispersing into different
colours, which then reflect back towards the viewer.
The next time you find yourself stopping to look at a rainbow,
consider this – what you’re seeing is unique to you, the viewer,
in both shape and the way its colours merge (see overleaf). As
with a snowflake, you’ll never see another quite like it again.
You might also be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of a double
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rainbow, when sunlight is reflected twice within a raindrop; a
fogbow, which might appear as a hazy white arc on a cloudy or
misty day; a moonbow, created by moonlight; or a full-circle
rainbow, if conditions are exactly right and you’re looking down
from a mountain, tall building or aircraft.
As well as being unique, rainbows are woven into traditions,
legends and folklore, thanks to their sudden appearance after
a storm. It’s likely they’ve been observed by humans since the
dawn of our species, so they feature in many belief systems.
Most commonly, they’re considered connections between
Earth and the gods, messages of hope from the heavens, or
communications from the dead. In Norse mythology, a rainbow
is a Bifröst – a burning bridge that joins the kingdoms of gods
and men. In Australian Aborigine tradition, the Rainbow
Serpent is the creator of human beings and is linked to fertility.
And ancient Hindu texts feature Indra, the god of thunder and
war, who uses rainbows to shoot arrows of lightning. Other
legends refer to their fleeting nature, serving as a reminder that
not all promises are kept, while the leprechauns of Irish folklore
are said to bury their pots of gold at the end of rainbows.
Buddhists believe that the rainbow body is the highest state
of realisation achievable before attaining nirvana, and for the
Cherokee, these colourful arches form the hem of the sun’s coat.
Meanwhile, parents who have experienced difficulties in having
a family often refer to a child who arrives following tragic losses
as a ‘rainbow baby’.
The late English writer and philosopher GK Chesterton once
said that ‘without the rain there would be no rainbow’. Perhaps
this is why cultures around the world today still revere them
as a reminder that life’s storms will pass, the sun will come out
again and there’ll be beauty and hope at the end of dark times.
Wherever you are and whatever you believe, there’s something
inherently special about seeing those colours stretching across
the sky, signalling brighter days ahead.
Turn over for some colourful facts about these polychromatic curves
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 DID YOU KNOW?
• Colour burst. Rainbows are made up of the seven colours
that come from light being split into its various wavelengths
– red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. But all these
shades might not always be visible. A rare variation is a red
rainbow, formed after rainfall during sunrise or sunset.
• Unique to you. Even a person standing right beside you will
see a rainbow slightly differently because, from their viewpoint,
they will see different raindrops – which refract the light to
create the seven colours.
• ...and to our planet. Earth is thought to be the only planet
in our solar system with the conditions to make the creation
of rainbows possible. Hawaii is home to more rainbows than
anywhere else on Earth.
• Ring of light. From the ground, rainbows are seen as a
semicircle or arc, but when viewed from very high up, such as
from an aeroplane, you might see one as a complete circle.
• Counting colours. It was Isaac Newton in the 1660s who
demonstrated that clear white light was composed of the seven
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hues we see in a rainbow. Before him, in 1637, René Descartes
discovered that rainbows were caused by light from the sun
being split into different colours by rain.
• Record-breaking. For two decades, the record for the world’s
longest lasting rainbow was held by Sheffield, England. On 14
March 1994, one formed over the city for six hours, from 9am
until 3pm. This record was broken in November 2017 by a nine-
hour rainbow over Taiwan’s capital city Taipei. Professor Chou
Kun-hsuan, who observed it, called it ‘a gift from the sky’.
• No pot of gold. Finding the end of a rainbow is
actually impossible, because when you move, your view of
it also moves. You can’t touch one, either, as it has no
physical properties.
ILLUSTRATIONS: JOHN HARMER
• DIY. Rainbows are formed by all kinds of water hitting light,
which is why they’re common near waterfalls. You can create
your own by using a hosepipe on a mist setting on a sunny day
and aiming it straight at the sky.
Words: Jade Beecroft
D I S C O V E R

The weellbefinorg
magazinagers
teen

teenbreathe.co.uk
 Of myth and magic
In the concluding part of our magical legends special,
we explore more places shrouded in mystery
THE BLOODTHIRSTY MONSTER
With a murderous monster, a daring hero and a mysterious
maze, the legend of the Minotaur is one of the most
gripping of all the Greek myths and continues to draw
visitors to the ancient Minoan palace of Knossos on the
Greek island of Crete.
Built around 1900BCE, the partially restored palace displays
magnificent mosaics and frescoes from antiquity, but beneath
its plazas and pillars a ferocious beast once roamed, in a
labyrinth from which none who entered could ever escape.
With the body of a man and the head of a bull, the Minotaur
was the offspring of Pasiphaë – wife of Minos, ruler of Crete –
and a white bull sent to Minos by the Greek god Poseidon for
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sacrifice. When Minos refused to kill the bull, Poseidon made
Pasiphaë fall in love with it, and she gave birth to the mighty
Minotaur. Incarcerated in the maze, the beast’s bloodlust
was sated by child sacrifice, until the hero Theseus killed the
monster and fled, following a trail of yarn to escape.
While the labyrinth has sadly never been found, the Minotaur
lives on in sculptures, paintings and poetry, inspiring artists
including Picasso, Dalí and Blake, while some say his bellow can
sometimes still be heard, rumbling around the palace walls.
Discover more about Crete at visitgreece.gr.
Visit travel.gov.gr for the most up-to-date travel advice.
SEDUCTIVE DOLPHINS
As if they aren’t magical enough, the dolphins you’ll find in
the Amazon are a fairy-tale shade of pink. The Amazon river
dolphin, or boto, can be found in South America’s longest
river, travelling solo, in pairs or in larger pods. Canoe or cruise
through the rainforest and you’ll likely see the endangered
animals’ rose-hued dorsal fins break the surface, or hear them
exhale through their blowholes, before diving and hunting
for fish. But it’s not just the boto’s pink skin that makes this
dolphin extraordinary.
Amazonian folklore tells of the boto leaving the river at night
and shapeshifting into an encantado – a man or woman with
seduction on their minds. Rainforest tribes have long told tales
of these legendary lotharios. The male encantado – who wears
a hat to cover his blowhole – entices young women into his
embrace while in human form, and impregnates them before
slipping back to the river. His female counterpart is a beautiful
seducer of married men, visiting them each year for an illicit
liaison, before eventually turning the man into a baby, and
implanting him into his own wife’s womb. Encantados have
also been blamed for kidnapping the objects of their affection,
or their illegitimate children. Journey along the river on your
own Amazon adventure, and you’ll be captivated, too.
Discover more about Ecuador at ecuador.travel.
Visit presidencia.gob.ec for the most up-to-date travel advice.
MAGICAL HEROES
The legends of King Arthur, who led the heroic Knights of
the Round Table against Saxon invaders in the 5th and 6th
centuries, swirl around the British Isles. The king’s magical
sword Excalibur, wife Guinevere, the island of Avalon and the
Quest for the Holy Grail are entwined so tightly into Britain’s
history that to many, Arthur now feels as real as Henry VIII or
Queen Victoria, despite scholars still debating his existence.
Cadbury Castle, an Iron Age hill fort near Yeovil in Somerset;
Winchester Castle in Hampshire; the Roman fortress of
Caerleon near Newport in Wales; Dinerth Castle near
Ceredigion in west Wales; and Arthur’s Seat in Edinburgh have
all been cited as possible locations for the castle of Camelot.
But it’s Cornwall’s Tintagel Castle that is perhaps most closely
linked with the birth of the king, and his mythical mentor – the
wizard Merlin. Built across a rugged headland and island near
Boscastle in north Cornwall, Tintagel’s ruined medieval citadel
looks every inch the castle of a legendary king, and the deep
cave that sits on the beach below, the perfect lair for mystic
Merlin. Uncover the mysteries of this Cornish Camelot on a
ramble around the fortress, before venturing into the wave-
worn cavern and manifesting magical memories of your own.
Discover more about Tintagel Castle and Cornwall at
english-heritage.org.uk and visitcornwall.com.
Visit gov.uk for the most up-to-date travel advice.
Turn the page for more fascinating folklore
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 HIRSUTE LEGEND
Despite inconclusive evidence that they exist, many countries
claim to have resident ape-like giants wandering their
mountains and forests. In Russia, there’s a Snow Man, China
has a Yeren or Wild Man and in North America, there’ve been
hundreds of sightings of Bigfoot or Sasquatch, predominantly
in the Pacific northwest. Yet so far, grainy video footage of
lumbering bipedal beasts and super-sized footprints have been
explained away as hoaxes or mistaken identity, with bears
considered the most likely cause of confusion.
In the Himalayas of Nepal and Tibet, the monstrous yeti,
Meh-Teh or Abominable Snowman strikes fear into the souls of
the local Sherpas, and remnants of hairy creatures – including
what’s believed to be a yeti scalp, locked away in a Buddhist
monastery at Khumjung in Nepal – have led some to believe
there might be more to the myth. Science sadly hasn’t complied,
with DNA samples of rumoured yeti hair or body parts proven
to be from bears, sheep or dogs, and the legendary scalp
found to be no more than goat hide. This truth was discovered
when Everest’s most famous summiteer – New Zealander
Edmund Hillary – took it from Nepal to Europe for analysis.
While the mighty Himalayan range is rich in unbelievable
wonders – from the world’s highest mountain, to vertiginous
rope bridges, elusive snow leopards and sacred shrines – for
now, it seems the yeti is destined to remain the most
incredible of all.

Discover more about the Himalayas at welcomenepal.com.

Visit nepal.gov.np for the most up-to-date travel advice.

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 DEBAUCHED SPIRIT GUIDE
Smoker, drinker, philanderer and all-round debauched
hell-raiser, Bawon Samdi – or Baron Samedi – is one of
Voodoo’s notorious spirits, known as lwa or loa. These
powerful spirits act as intermediaries between humans and
a supreme god, called Bondye or Bondieu (‘good god’).
Responsible for various aspects of life, lwa are
summoned through rituals, dance, chanting, music and
fetishes, with Voodoo priests and priestesses overseeing
elaborate ceremonies, which sometimes include animal
sacrifice to feed the lwa.
Voodoo has its roots in Voudon, a religion that’s widely
thought to have originated in Benin, West Africa, around
6,000 years ago – it remains the country’s state religion today.
When African slaves were shipped to Haiti and Louisiana,
US, in the 1700s, the religion blended with the Catholic
ILLUSTRATIONS: HOLLY ASTLE
beliefs held by the occupying French, and now an estimated
60 million people practise Voodoo worldwide, with followers
in regions of Brazil, the Caribbean, the US and Africa.
A master of the dead, as well as being a giver of life, Bawon
Samdi is a wickedly dapper chap, usually portrayed as a skeletal
figure in a top hat and tails, with dark glasses, a black cane,
a cigar in his mouth and a glass in his hand. At times he has
cotton wool stuck up his nose, in a nod to a Haitian Voodoo
burial ritual.
In the Louisiana city of New Orleans, where Voodoo legends
and lore are woven into the fabric of the city’s French Quarter,
visitors can explore the Historic Voodoo Museum; see the grave
of Voodoo queen Marie Laveau in St Louis Cemetery; browse
for gris-gris or talismans; experience the Voodoo Spiritual
Temple near Congo Square; and, of course, seek out Bawon
Samdi in the French Quarter’s historic bars and jazz clubs.
Laissez les bons temps rouler!, as he would say.
Discover more about New Orleans and Louisiana at
neworleans.com and louisianatravel.com.
Visit travel.state.gov for the most up-to-date travel advice.
All holiday areas are asking visitors to be responsible and follow
their own and their destination country’s up-to-date information
before travelling.
Words: Lauren Jarvis
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 About face
Why is it sometimes easier to feel annoyed with someone you can’t see than a person standing
right in front of you? Consider who’s in control here and you might be pleasantly surprised
The faceless stranger is a spectre of fear in many a ghost story.
It’s the masked baddie of a childhood film, the unseen assassin
in a crowd. In Japanese mythology the Noppera-bō is a blank-
faced phantom that terrifies humans, while the controversial,
absent-featured meme Slender Man has been used to spread
horror among regions of the internet.
In real life, the person we don’t see appears more malevolent
than the one we do. Think of the driver who cuts us up, the
brash talker in a hallowed space – and, most distressing of
all, anonymous online chat. The more faceless and, therefore,
unhuman, the person, the more powerful they appear to be.
But if you dig deeper into who owns that power, you might be
surprised. For although it might seem preferable to see the faces
of others, that’s not always the case. In fact, it can often be the
onlooker who chooses to reduce another to a featureless shape.
For example, how many times have you stopped yourself from
catching someone else’s eye, because doing so would mean fully
acknowledging them? Have you ever dismissed the rude driver
or inconsiderate passer-by as being a bit less than human? From
the queue-jumper to the loud phone user, there’s a freedom of
sorts in allowing yourself to be irritated by the person whose
visage you cannot see, that you might resist feeling if you were
face to face with them. I admit to having judged faceless others.
And yet at the same time I know it’s a thrill borne of fear. I’ve
been afraid of their apparent lack of humanity, and so colluded
in that deception. It’s allowed me to believe I’m wresting control
of a situation, when in truth all it’s done is justified my own
behaviour at the expense of others. But if I deserve not to be
dehumanised, surely the same applies to everyone else?
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Remembering not to judge doesn’t come easily. One place
to start is by giving strangers a face and making eye contact
when it’s appropriate, instead of shying away. It’s worth
trying to see the complexity in the nearby loudmouth, or the
online commenter punching below the belt. That also means
accepting that recognition might not be reciprocated. Ascribing
humanity doesn’t mean the courtesy will be returned, but that’s
a behaviour that I, and perhaps you, too, might at one time or
another have shared.
HOW TO GIVE OTHERS A REAL DIMENSION
• Acknowledge when you’ve avoided someone’s human
qualities, whether physically, by avoiding eye contact, or
in your own mind.
• Ask yourself how you’d feel if it was revealed their motives
were more complex than you assumed.
• When it feels safe to do so, look people in the eye. There can
be a tendency to avoid eye contact, especially in cities, and it
can bring a feeling of disconnection.
• Try not to be upset if people don’t return the favour, as not
everyone is able to step out of their comfort zone.
ILLUSTRATIONS: KATHRIN LANG
• Even though you might not be able to see someone, whether
it’s a car driver or a voice on the phone, it’s worth bearing in
mind they’re as human, and real, as you are.
Words: Stephanie Lam
Read more of Stephanie’s thoughts on Instagram
@Stephanie_Lam_1.