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HILARIOUS STORIES

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Marco Bitetto
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HILARIOUS
STORIES

By Dr. Marco Bitetto

1
This is an ebook
made up of very
funny stories of
fiction. You will
enjoy reading and
rereading these
stories for decades
to come.
HILAROUS STORIES
Copyright © 2017
All Rights Reserved

ii
Adventures In New Stockholm public education system has been
By solved planet wide. Everybody in each
of these human settlements works by
Dr. Marco Bitetto
law. Everyone in each of these towns
and cities is extremely healthy, young
and vibrant. The oldest citizen of any
The year is 2125 and the Earths over
of these human settlements is sixty
population, poverty, misery and
years old. These facts are true planet
squalor has been solved. The towns
wide.
and cities around the world have both
become more countrified and utopian
at the same time. Robotic transport
The means of government for each of
based flying and rolling vehicles bring
these towns, cities and nations is an
goods from town to town and city to
automated artificially intelligent com-
city or city to town and visa versa.
puter network that spans the planet
and has the same laws planet wide.
This is independent of the nations of
In these utopian settlements of hu-
the planet. The single common lan-
mans, there are no needs for social wel-
guage of the planet is American stan-
fare systems, crime levels are nonexist-
ent, the problems of a poor and corrupt
3
dard English of the Northeast region of
the United States.
All medical care is done by robots and
major medical problems that are acute
and or severe are totally nonexistent.
There is an abundance of food, shelter,
work, education, medical care and
other items as well.
Artificially intelligent computers and ro-
bots exist that are controlled by
thoughts from implanted biocompatible
neuromorphic nano-chips that are con-
nected to external microwave transceiv-
ers that are located on top of the sculls
of the residents of these towns, cities
and nations alike. Both men and
women walk around totally bald.
The planet has a new unified and stan-
dardized currency called the credit and
it is totally digital in nature. Everyone
one the planet walks around with a
smart card that contains both their life
savings and also all their personal and
biometric data as well. These smart
cards are able of being used simply by
being placed on top of data entry termi-
nals that are next to robotic cash regis-
ters that automatically tally the pur-
chases of items by seeing what kind of
items they are.
The town that our unexpected time trav-
elers have entered is New Stockholm.
They have entered this city by accident
during passage through a time rift that
was a result of all out nuclear war be-
tween China and the United States of
4
America. This thermonuclear war power down to Earth and orbital power
stated over trade and immigration is- transmission satellites that relay power
sues that remained unresolved and all around the planet via a network of
lead to both trade and economic imbal- Earth stations and orbiting satellites
ances in favor of China. alike.
In the case of our American time travel-
ing visitors, they had to land their jet
Our time traveling guests were met by
airplane in a level river valley near New
a typical worker from New Stockholm it-
Stockholm. The entire landscape of
self. He lead them to New Stockholm it-
the planet has changed radically since
self by walking there. A distance of fif-
the advent of major terraforming pro-
teen kilometers easily. During their
jects has taken place planet wide.
walk, the worker from New Stockholm
informed them that everyone on the
planet now has an intelligence quotient
Both clothing and plastics are now
score of one hundred sixty and that all
made from plant by products that come
lower mental scores have become ex-
from the food processing industries.
tinct planet wide.
Petroleum is no longer used, solar,
wind and fusion power are the norm as
to is solar power satellites beaming
5
The cities and towns of this ultra mod-
ern and utopian planet wide civilization
are totally enclosed in geodesic domes
that are made entirely out of clear car-
bon fiber reinforced plastic that came
from the by products of plant based
food processing. Everyone on the
planet is vegetarian and all the food
crops have been modified to produced
ultra high levels of both animal pro-
teins and vitamins and minerals as
well.
The names of our two time travels are
Daniel and Jacob. Daniel is in his early
forties and Jacob is in his early fifties.
Among the astounding things that they
find out is that religion is totally nonex-
istent anywhere on the planet. Also, Ja-
cob inadvertently and secretly wit-
nesses a mandatory law based euthana-
sia of someone that was a day over
sixty. This individual was allowed to
have sex with those women that oper-
ated the gas cylinders of carbon mon-
oxide. After this man had a threesome
sex with two extremely young and
beautiful blond haired and blue eyed
white females, one of the females
placed an oxygen like mask over his
head and the other opened the valve of
the cylinder of carbon monoxide.
Within less than a minute, the nude
man on the bed was dead and the
women had placed a death tag on his
right big toe for the law required eutha-
nasia data reporter to register in the
planets population database that is
held in the planet wide artificially intelli-
6
gent super computer that spans the
globe.
Before, Jacob could get back to tell Da-
nial about this, Danial was informed
that both he and his partner were ex-
pected to obey all the laws of the
planet under all conditions. Shortly af-
ter the worker from New Stockholm left
Danial in his newly furnished home, Ja-
cob met up with Danial and informed
him of the mandatory law required
euthanasia of all those over the age of
sixty. The two men were suddenly
agape at the prospects of their soon to
be ordered deaths by planetary law.
Danial than explained to Jacob that
they were now stuck in this time line
and that they now had to comply with
all planetary laws and do so under all
conditions.
The two men suddenly breath a breath
of resignation at their soon to occur
euthanasia. Danial then began to lay
down on his bed and Jacob laid down
on the couch. The two men soon fell
asleep and a new day came upon their
awakening.
To correspond with this author go to
the below listed web sites:
TWITTER: @DrBitetto
FA C E B O O K :
http://www.facebook.com/drmarcobitett
o
7
FA C E B O O K : THE MISADVENTURES OF
http://www.facebook.com/Robotronics
BILLY ARTHOR
LLC
By
FA C E B O O K :
http://www.facebook.com/Blind Side Dr. Marco Bitetto
Studio
FA C E B O O K :
Billy is a very strange teenage boy that
http://www.facebook.com/Roboshoponl
constantly gets into trouble doing silly
ine
things.
FA C E B O O K :
http://www.facebook.com/Nuova-Unive
rsita-di-Engegneria-e-Scienza One day Billy Arthur decided to make a
rocket propelled go-cart and put two
rocket engines powered by a water
based Hoffman apparatus. The go-cart
took off and knocked Billy right of it
and smashed right into Mr. Wilson’s
hardware shop and promptly exploded
and burst into flames. Mr. Wilson and
8
his three sons ran out with buckets of
sand to put out the fire. Within minutes
the Wilson’s put out the flames.
Another time Billy decided that he was
going to land on the moon in a rocket
chair. So he took Ms. Graham’s thrown
out wicker chair and taped three hun-
dred model rocket engines to all four
sides of the wicker chair. When all the
model rocket engines were ignited by a
throw of a switch that Billy had in his
hand, He was summarily thrown off the
wicker chair and the wicker chair broke
through the wooden picket fence and
ended up in Ms. Graham’s rose garden
and promptly burst into flames and de-
stroyed all the roses at one time. Luck-
ily, Ms. Graham’s house is located
some distance away from the rose
bush on the side of the house.
Another time Billy decided to make a
rocket jet plane from a $0.25 balsa
wood model airplane that was de-
signed to be rubber band powered. He
reinforced the wings with plenty of pa-
per and his sister Amanda’s nail hard-
ening colored nail polish and crazy
glued two model rocket engines to the
tail of the balsa wood model airplane.
Billy then put the model airplane on the
ground of his parents drive way and
pushed the button that set the rockets
afire and the balsa wood model air-
plane went airborne with a whoosh
sound ultimately flying through the Mar-
thas second story bedroom windows
exiting from the rare bedroom window
only to get caught up in the very top
branches of an old oak tree. Where the
9
two rocket engines smoked for a while wagon and repermanded Billy for what
before going dead. he did. Billy was then dejected and
slowly walked back pulling his little red
When Billy was two, he tied his little
wagon behind him and had his head
red wagon to the Wilson’s large five
down all the way home. Mean while,
year old male dog that was a mixed
the Wilson’s dog promptly ran right
bread of unknown mixture and also
back into Mr. Wilson’s hardware shop
tied a string around the dogs balls.
and stayed there all week long.
When asked why he did this, he stated
he needed a way to control passing
gear.
To correspond with this author go to
the below listed web sites:
Good thing Mr. Miller the police officer
stopped Billy when he was racing
TWITTER: @DrBitetto
down the street and the poor Wilson
dog was panting like crazy and had it’s FA C E B O O K :
tongue hanging out of the side of its http://www.facebook.com/drmarcobitett
mouth. Officer miller promptly cut off o
the rope tied around the dogs balls and
also cut the dog free of the little red
10
FA C E B O O K : A Day at the Intergalactic Beauro
http://www.facebook.com/Robotronics
By
LLC
Dr. Marco Bitetto
FA C E B O O K :
http://www.facebook.com/Blind Side
Studio
The intergalactic beauro started during
FA C E B O O K : the first year of the galactic empire and
http://www.facebook.com/Roboshoponl Gnat the first of Gamma Centauri.
ine
FA C E B O O K :
He issued the edict that started the in-
http://www.facebook.com/Nuova-Unive
tergalactic beauro and mandated that
rsita-di-Engegneria-e-Scienza
all aliens within the Milky Way galaxy
register with the intergalactic agency.
The purpose is for statistical reasons.

The forms that this intergalactic

agency requires to be filled out ask
such questions as what level of educa-
11
tion you have had, what stellar system
you came from, what alien species you
are, how many offspring you have,
what the size of your brood is, how
large your sexual organ is, how many
times you have sex during a standard
galactic week and how many intergalac-
tic credits you have accumulated. This
is in addition to what job you do and
how many mates you have.
Some alien species have as many as
one hundred wives and have sex ten
times per day. This is not to mention
that their sexual organ of penetration is
three meters long.
Whoopidoo, some alien species have
all the luck. Others end up paying the
intergalactic taxes up the ghazo for all
the other lazy good for nothing horny
alien species. Humans are the worst
alien species at these. They are even
willing to have multiple partners sex
even with other alien species. I tell
you, if I were a fly on the wall then I
would have all of my multifaceted eyes
pop out. Flies are things that regularly
inhabit human dwellings and love to
bite humans all over and even bite their
sex organs to boot.
But enough of this, It’s my turn now to
hand it my official intergalactic forms
and depart this hellish intergalactic
agency with is Denuvian and human
workers alike.
12
To correspond with this author go to FA C E B O O K :
the below listed web sites: http://www.facebook.com/Nuova-Unive
rsita-di-Engegneria-e-Scienza

TWITTER: @DrBitetto
FA C E B O O K :
http://www.facebook.com/drmarcobitett
o
FA C E B O O K :
http://www.facebook.com/Robotronics
LLC
FA C E B O O K :
http://www.facebook.com/Blind Side
Studio
FA C E B O O K :
http://www.facebook.com/Roboshoponl
ine

13
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