Template and Practice Essay for COMMAND AND CONQUER Approach

Use the following charts to analyze the prompts to identify Purpose as a starting point for
your essay. This is a step-by-step guide to writing your “Be Kind” Analysis as well.
Remember, your essay is basically you answering the Conquer Question.

I will be utilizing the Rhetorical Analysis Rubric to assess you, in addition to this “feedback”
Writing Revision Guide. It’s good to use as a checklist to ensure you’re doing what you
should be to write a strong essay.

Example 1
Step 1- Find the Conquer Question
Prompt 1: The passage below is from the opening of an essay, “On Seeing England for the First Time”
by Jamaica Kincaid. Kincaid grew up on the Caribbean island of Antigua before it became independent from
England in 1981. Read the entire passage carefully. Then write an essay analyzing the rhetorical strategies
Kincaid employs to convey her attitude toward England.

FULL STUDENT ESSAY FOR THIS PROMPT (only read pages 1-4 for the “good” version).

TAG Background Info for C and C Conquer Answer

Background info Thesis/Exigence
for thesis

Title- “On Grew up in Antigua COMMAND: Disdain

Seeing England before it was convey her attitude toward
for the First independent England. Resentment (particularly towards
Time” colonialism’s ability to establish prejudices
Independence was and demean other cultures)
Author- Jamaica gained in 1981 Consider elements of Purpose
Kincaid ANALYZING-
the rhetorical strategies To inform- Individuals of the Disdain and
Genre- essay Kincaid employs to convey her Resentment she feels toward the country
attitude toward England. (particularly towards colonialism’s ability to
establish prejudices and demean other
cultures)
CONQUER Question-
What is her attitude toward To Persuade-
England? Individuals to reconsider their positive view
of the imperial and oppressive
governmental practices
Find at least SIX pieces of evidence… two from each part of the piece (divide into thirds or look for
shifts - refer to slides 131-139 ) that helped you to get to the Conquer Answer.
One of the qualities that AP graders are looking for is "coverage": the ability of students to look at a
text holistically, seeing the development of an idea throughout the text from the beginning to the
middle and to the end.

Your Prompt for “Be Kind”

George Saunders, a professor, best-selling author, and an alumnus of the University of Syracuse, delivered a

commencement speech called “Be Kind” to Syracuse’s graduating class of 2013. Read the entire passage

carefully. Then, write an essay analyzing the rhetorical choices Saunders uses to convey his message.

STEP 2- Read the Essay- Now We’re Ready to Transition into an Essay

TAG Background info for Background Info for C and C Conquer Answer
thesis Thesis/Exigence

Title Brutus and Portia are married COMMAND- She intends on making Brutus
Julius Caesar The conversation happened Analyze how Portia uses feel
Author: on the Ides of March rhetorical strategies to pity and guilt
Shakespeare evoke her intended the
Genre: emotional response from
Play Brutus.
Speaker- Portia
CONQUER-
Audience- Brutus What emotions does Portia
intend
to evoke from her husband?

Rhetorical Textual Example Conquer Answer

Strategy (Evidence that shows ME
(What is the the answer to the Conquer Question)
speaker doing?)

Embraces a “Upon my knees I charm you” (II.ii.279-280) She intends on making Brutus feel pity and guilt
submissive
Posture To Inform:
 “Dwell I but in the suburbs/ Of your good Brutus that she feels as though he is violating their
Challenges pleasure?” (II.i.294-295) marriage vows
Brutus’s
Devotion To Persuade:
“Portia is Brutus’ harlot, not his wife” (II.i.296) Brutus to feel pity and guilt,
Demeans their ultimately causing him to reveal
relationship why he’s so troubled.

Thesis Statement Template

In the ______(Genre)____ ___ (Title)___, (Contextual Information about Author and/or Text)
(Author’s Name) (Rhetorical Strategy 1), (Rhetorical Strategy 2), (Rhetorical Strategy 3) in order to
____(Answer to Conquer—Inform)____, ultimately moving (the audience) to ____(Answer to
Conquer—Persuade)____.

E.g. One - In Act II.ii of Julius Caesar, by William Shakespeare, Portia—Brutus’s wife—embraces a submissive
posture and demeans their relationship in order to get him to feel pity and guilt towards her, ultimately
prompting him to reveal his troubles.

E.g. Two - Secretary of State Madeleine Albright in her speech to the women graduating from Mount Holyoke
College emphasizes the need to continue this struggle and strife for gender equality. By contrasting
hypotheticals and reality, providing examples and personal anecdotes, and strong repetition of the word
“persevere,” Albright successfully conveys her message to these graduates that they must continue to fight
for rights in the face of opposition, and that they will succeed.

E.g. Three Full Introduction and Thesis - Madeline Albright’s commencement speech in 1997 at Mount
Holyoke college came at a time of peace and prosperity for American society. However, in the speech, she
urges her audience to seek out problems that still exist in the world and to help fix them. By referencing the
efforts of marginalized women who are fighting to make a difference, utilizing powerful diction and
repetition, and illustrating American efforts to improve the world even further Albright inspires a young
generation of graduate students on the brink of adulthood with the future in their hands to never settle,
always persevere and fight to elevate the status of women around the world.

E.g. Four Full introduction and thesis - To this very day, hate surrounds us. It was no different in the
twentieth century, with segregation and rampant wars prevalent. Citizens of all nations were being left
behind in rubble and despair, while others turned their back on the commitments they had made to the
world around them. However, a beacon of hope was found in America, lit by the contributions of Eleanor
Roosevelt. This is why Claudia Johnson, a fellow First Lady herself, relies on her prowess as a political
figure to emphasize the contributions of Eleanor Roosevelt through alluding to great quotes she felt
embodied the spirit of Eleanor Roosevelt and by utilizing her perspective of having known Eleanor
personally and admiring her to encourage women to act in similar ways of Eleanor Roosevelt.

Further guidance with thesis writing click here.

→→ Your Application

Develop a thesis statement for the “Be Kind” prompt.

● Complete the second chart for it including evidence
● Use the template to develop a concise thesis statement

Your Thesis Statement

Ideally, you will find 2 pieces of evidence for the beginning, the middle, and the end)
Rhetorical Textual Example Conquer Answer
Strategy (Evidence that shows ME
(What is the the answer to the Conquer Question)
speaker doing?- Use
strong verbs)

Step 3- Body Paragraph Structure- What/Why, Where, How? Structure.

Remember the function of the topic sentence - it is supposed to directly tie back to your thesis,
alert the reader to the point of that paragraph, and further your argument (progress it).
Further help with essay organization
 Here is the familiar “CRE” or “CEA” format you’ve already learned in previous years:
Topic Sentence (What/Why): (Ordering Word), (Author) (Rhetorical Strategy from thesis) in order to (answer
to the Conquer Question).
Textual Evidence (Where): Take, for example, how (insert context and textual evidence that shows the
strategy referenced in the topic sentence in action) (citation).
Analysis (How): This (summary of text for analysis that is derived from quote) (strong analytical verb—often
found in the topic sentence) (purpose found after “in order to” as seen in the topic sentence) because
(explain how the textual evidence reveals the purpose/effect/answer to the conquer question;
(this is usually done in at least two sentences. Also, these explanations often focus on explaining general assumptions,
stereotypes, and word connotations. Make sure to purposefully select your verbs to provide vibrant analysis).

(Hint: The best way to provide the detailed analysis you are trying to create is by
explaining how the text informs the audience of the speaker’s message and then
following this with an explanation as to how this information would persuade the
audience to act. Also, make sure to use connotative/analytical verbs throughout your
analysis! Take a look at my example below.)

Body Paragraph Example

First, Portia submissively postures herself in order to get Brutus to feel guilty for not telling her what is bothering him. Take,
for example, how Portia, after asking Brutus what is wrong with him and receiving a dishonest response, approaches her
husband “upon [her] knees” (II. ii. 270). This would cause Brutus to feel guilty because his wife is embracing a posture of
someone who is begging. By putting herself in such a lowly state, she is expressing how Brutus is being so cold that she has
no other choice but to vulnerably position herself as a slave and/or commoner, not his wife. She strips herself of her status,
and in doing so, hopes to evoke pity from Brutus because if he pities her, he may tell her the cause of his emotional turmoil.
When Brutus doesn’t reveal the information she desires, Portia challenges Brutus’s devotion to their marriage by questioning
if she, “Dwell[s]…but in the suburbs of [his] good pleasure?” (II.i.294-295). Doing such would potentially lead Brutus to feel
guilty because it exposes how poorly Portia feels like she is being treated. Brutus wouldn’t want his wife to believe that she
isn’t “in [his] good pleasure,” so he should be moved to prove this by telling her his secrets. Portia, in this instance, makes it
seem as though the only way he can prove his love to her is by revealing why he is so troubled, and if he doesn’t, it must mean
he loves her not. Knowing that he does love her, Brutus should feel guilty for even leading her to consider that she is unloved,
which continues to promote the potential revelation of his inner turmoil. Portia also blatantly demeans her romantic
relationship with her husband in order to get Brutus to feel guilty for not telling her what is bothering him. Take, for
example, how after her initial tactics fail, she asserts that if he cannot tell her his concerns then “Portia is Brutus’ harlot, not
his wife” (II.i.296). This would evoke guilt from Brutus because, by keeping secrets from his wife, he is causing her to devalue
herself; she suggests he is using her like a worthless sex slave, a mere pleasure puppet. Seeing as though he views Portia as a
“true […] honorable […and…] noble wife” (II.i.297), it’s implied that he would never want his wife to feel this way. Knowing that
her husband does lover her, Portia makes it seem that if Brutus tells her his secret, she will no longer feel so violated,
ultimately—in her mind—leaving Brutus with no other option but to reaffirm his deepest affections for his wife.

YOUR APPLICATION with “Be Kind”

Develop two body paragraphs to support your thesis statement.
​

Conclusion: Restate your thesis, but not verbatim (so, not word for word but renewed - maybe
even BETTER). Then, think about expanding outwards and linking the bigger more important
concept the author addresses to the world. How might this text have made/continue to make an
impact? Two to five sentences. DO NOT SUMMARIZE.

Further help
Write your conclusion here: