11-12-14_-_Love_Forgiveness_And_Happiness-2_-

_PiramalHouseProgram_Radhanath_Swami

Marriage is about coming together for the higher cause

I am very, very grateful for this special opportunity to be with all of you this evening. Many very
old beloved friends and some very special people I have never met, I am so grateful to be with
you. Special gratitude to our esteemed speaker Dominique and Dominique beautiful speech that
penetrated and transformed our hearts, thank you, my special gratitude to Ajay and Swati on this
very auspicious occasion of their thirty fifth wedding anniversary and to their families Lalita,
peter, Nandini, Anandaji and to their little granddaughter. Thirty five years, what to speak of
forty five years, as a swami we don’t get married so it’s hard for me to understand what it takes
to remain married for thirty five years. But as a Swami it’s very interesting how many married
people tell you their problems and interestingly thousands of people tell me their problems and
each one thinks it’s a unique problem that no one has ever had before and it’s something that’s
very insurmountable to overcome and in general it’s usually the same problems that everyone
has. What I found is, if we base our relationship on a higher principle then the daily
uncertainties, there is one thing there is certain about this world is there will definitely be
uncertainties. If there is a higher principle we can overcome them. My Gurudev A.C
Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada he told one story which was very interesting, it was the story
about Mahatma Gandhi. Mahatma Gandhi himself told this story, he had an argument with his
wife and it was obvious a serious argument, so serious that he told her to get out of the house. So
she went out of the house and sometime later he came out of the house and he saw his wife
sitting on the road side. He said, “Why are you still here? She said I have no place to go and he
said, oh! Whatever differences we had let’s just forget it and then they came back in the house
and they were happy every after. I thought was pretty interesting because Mahatma Gandhi
throughout the world is a symbol of peace and non-violence. Martin Luther king, Nelson
Mandela Mahatma Gandhi was their Guru for their peace movements, Ahimsa and even he is
fighting with his wife. So when I heard that story long ago I realize what marriage is really
about, marriage is in one sense they are made in heaven but you have to really meet the
challenge to realize that. Srila Prabhupada he explained this is the peace formula for marriage
towards forget it. That means there is a higher principle of why we are together, for the sake
Dharma, for the sake of our devotion and ours vows before God, for the sake our own spiritual
salvation. This by working things out, by focusing on the higher principle we can resolve the
entire apparent quarrels or differences that we may have because can you imagine two false
ego’s, Ahankar’s living in the same house together year after year after year. You can’t make it
by romance; you can’t make it by apparent astrological compatibilities there has to be a serious
dedication to the principle of responsibility. Through taking that responsibility actually love can
take place between people on a very deep level.

Radhanath Swami receive blessing from a leper women

Dominique was speaking about his leprosy colony and all the Seva work with service he is doing
there. I liked to share a little story about a leprosy colony that I had visited and how to this very
day I accepted a leper woman as one of my Guru’s in life. I came to India when I was nineteen, I
didn’t know anyone; I never meet an Indian in my life until I came to the border and the
immigration lady rejected me. I never ate Indian food, I never tasted a chilly pepper and I was
living in the Himalaya Mountains looking for truths, looking for meaning, looking for God. I was
just tired of sectarianism, egoism and hatred in the name of God and religion. I had seen it since I
was child, I believed in God, I believed in the power of prayer but I believed also that there were
universal principles that suppose to transform our heart through this process. So I was searching
for essence of spirituality the goal of religion, not the forms that cause us to hate each other to
think I am better. I was reading in all the scriptures the meek shall inherit the earth not the
egoistic. So I studied Christianity, Judaism, I hitchhiked from London to India and studied Islam
in the Middle East; I studied Buddhism and different branches of Hinduism. During my travels I
was walking through a forest in the mountains and I came into a leprosy colony; I just turned
twenty I had never seen suffering like this. From a suburb of Chicago very close toward Eden
grace Highland Park. Many did not have noses, they did not have fingers or toes, their faces were
deformed and shriveled, some of them were in rags or clothes, they have no homes they would
just laying on the ground and a jungle, they surrounded demanding Baksheesh, charity; I had
nothing but they kept screaming “Baksheesh”, “Baksheesh” they were desperate, they wouldn’t
let me go there was about fifteen of them around me in a circle. It was a culture shock, finally
they padded me down and saw that I really had nothing and I started walking and I saw one old
leper women had white hair not so much, deformed in every way. She offered her Pranam’s to
me as I was walking by like this and she looked at me with a gaze that said I am sorry for what
my people have just done to you. I felt in her glance the love of a mother and she understood
through my glance that I recognized what she was giving from her heart, so she put her hand out
and blessed me, she was just laying in the dirt and I ran up to her and put my head under her
hand to receive that blessing. Over and over again she said, may God bless you my child, may
God bless you my child; I looked out and I saw tears of joy streaming from her eyes, the joy of a
mother blessing a child. Something that perhaps she had no opportunity due to for decades; it
was the joy of giving. She had no nose, she had no teeth, her face was very deformed but I can
tell you when I was just coming out of my teenage years from America and I used to watch all
those movies and everything but she was the most beautiful women I had ever meet, most
beautiful person I had meet up until that time. Beauty is not about the external, beauty of person
is their character, and the beauty of a person is in their hearts. If we want to find real love, real
happiness in life we do have to go below or beneath or beyond the superficial external
appearances of this world.

Radhanath Swami meets Mother Teresa

Dominique was talking about Mother Teresa, in 1971 I visited her and she told me at that time
that the problem of the world is hunger, not hunger of the belly hunger of the heart, people are
lonely starving. The only thing could give satisfaction to the heart is love, she said, God’s love.
She said, “I go to New York and I go to London and I go to Bombay and Paris and all these
places she said the very, very wealthy people there they are starving more than this people that
you see in the streets of Calcutta. She said when these people die in my arms I see light in their
eyes; I don’t see that light in so many of the people who have so much. Real love is a thing of the
heart and that’s were happiness really lies and she told me that unless you have that love you
cannot give that love and actually in giving that love that is how we received the love it is a
process.

Real Happiness is not outside but it’s within our self

Ajay and Swati in their thirty five years of marriage I know them for many years and really
demonstrate what the Gita explain is so crucial for a society to prosper, really prosper, yad yad
äcarati çreñöhas that what prominent people in the world do the common people will follow that
example. Perhaps what this world need more than anything is role models, is due to the poverty
at the hearts of the people who have that is very much the reason there is poverty and people that
do not have. Ajay and Swati they represent very deeply in my own heart the examples of
integrity, generosity and devotion. I can say very honestly that it is people like this that are really
representing the greatness of India and the greatness of humanity and its very much built upon
the foundation of their devotion to God or to Krishna. When you built your house on the strong
foundation then whatever storms may comes the house is stable, storms will come in life. There
is a beautiful verse Brahma-sutra Änanda-mayo 'bhyäsät that every living being is seeking
pleasure that is something we all have in common whether were those rats you were talking
about or whether you’re the queen of England everyone is looking for pleasure. You know when
the rats come looking for food they don’t want to hurt anybody, they are just looking for
pleasure. Whether you are in an animal or an insect or an insect or human of any status we have
this universal thing in common whatever interferes with our pleasure or pain or fear we try to
avoid that. What is the real pleasure we are seeking? If we can’t find within ourselves we can’t
find it anywhere. There was a bestselling book that I heard when I was a child about a man who
found that his father had left him a great treasure as an inheritance and he wanted to find that
treasure. He traveled throughout so many different countries everywhere looking for clues of
where that treasure was, he searched and searched his whole life and ultimately he died. They
brought his body back to his house where he grew up and as they were digging the grave in his
own backyard they found the treasure. There is an analogy I learned in the Himalayas that there
is a musk deer who had an organ within him that has incredible fragrance and he wants to find
the source of that fragrance he goes everywhere, sometimes getting all cut up, looking in thorn
trees, sometimes going in the places where there is a snake; doesn’t know that the fragrance that
he is looking is in himself.

nitya-siddha-kåñëa-prema 'sädhya' kabhu naya

çravaëädi-çuddha-citte karaye udaya

That love for God is within the heart of every living being, it is our nature, it is our essence. By
following our spiritual practices, by chanting God’s names we could awaken that love. As we
awaken that love rather than trying to find happiness by taking, taking and taking we realize the
real happiness is being an instrument in giving God’s love to the world. Not my love and your
love, my love and your love has all sorts of conditioning but God’s love is unconditional infinite
and forever, when we tap into that love the source of all love to be an instrument of that, that’s
the greatest happiness.

Quality of forgiveness
Forgiveness its one of the most difficult things to do in this world but interestingly in all great
spiritual tradition it has prominent importance, it’s not a detail of life its sacred. For any
relationship to have quality and endure over time forgiveness is crucial because people are
imperfect and people make mistake and people do things we just don’t like and people just are
not the way I want them to be. Therefore we find amongst the great souls of so many traditions
such extreme forgiveness. Jesus Christ it was one of his last lessons as he was been crucified, he
didn’t pray to God to punish this people who are torturing him; he gave a universal prayer, my
father forgive them they know not what they do. He was seeing beneath the external features of
the leprosy that Dominique was speaking about, the leprosy of the heart is an external feature.

mamaiväàço jéva-loke

jéva-bhütaù sanätanaù

Every living being is a part of God, the living force that is animating this body, the living force
that perceives through eyes and the ears and the nose and the flesh and the brain that living force
is a sacred part of God. Somehow other by conditions, by experiences, by traumas, by wronged
choices and Karma’s people develop all sorts of different mentality and emotions and reactions
and people are evil. We hate the diseased, my mother was diseased before she passed from this
world I hated the disease but I loved diseased because I relate to her. When we understand our
own relationship with God, we understand that everyone is our brothers and sisters and therefore
we are able to actually forgive people. When we hold grudges against anyone it’s like holding a
burning hot coal in our hand to through it someone, before it hurts them it burns you. When we
forgive we are actually liberated. In family situation, in social situation it’s this forgiveness that’s
very much the medicine that keeps us together.

Forgiveness of great souls

In the Vedic scriptures the Srimad Bhagvatam Parikshit Maharaj was cursed to die in seven days
and he was a king, he could have set all his armies to kill that little boy that cursed him but he
saw beneath the leprosy of the external appearance and understood whatever is happening there
is something inherent opportunity for me in it. Let me take this seven not to reverse that curse
but let me take this seven days to completely shelter of the Supreme Lord. From that event
Srimad Bhagvatam was spoken to him, a scripture that has enlightened hundreds and millions of
people for thousands of years and he was perfected. Little Prahlad was a five year old child and
his father out of envy and fear and ego try to murder him in so many ways, he didn’t do anything
wrong, finally when his father by Lord Narsimhadev’s arrangement did a surgery to eliminate his
father from the world. Lord ask Prahlad any blessing you want I will give you, he said the only
blessing I ask for I don’t want anything for myself just forgive my father give him liberation, it
was the ignorance that was the problem not him.

Rama and Sita an perfect ideal for marriage

In the Lila of Lord Rama love, forgiveness and happiness is very portrayed by their example.
Rama was an incarnation or an avatar of the supreme who appeared in this world to teach us by
His example what is the standard by which we should all strive for. He was exile by His step
mother, out of envy, fear, hatred and ignorance she manipulated the situation in such a way that
Rama who was suppose to be coronated as the next king the next day was exile to live in the
forest for fourteen years. Rama accepted it, it’s a long story but when He told His wife Sita that
He was going, she said I am going with you, He said, “this is impossible, you are princes; you
lived in a beautiful palaces and soft lovely beds”. If you come with me you will have to live in
the jungle, sleeping on the hard ground. You been wearing the most costly beautiful garments the
only thing you will wear is the dry coarse clothes of tree bark, you have been eating fine food,
you will have to eat raw herbs and whatever fruits we can find. You have been surrounded by
walls and armies all of your life, you will subjected to snakes, lions and tiger and leopards and
scorpions and mosquito’s and all kinds of evil people that lived in the forest. No, you cannot
come. Sita tried everything and her final argument the day that I married you my father Janaka,
he made a vow before God that he was turning me over to live with you and I would be at your
side through health or diseased, through good times or bad times, through success or failure,
honor or dishonor, you cannot make my father a liar I am coming with you. To perform my
Dharma of being with you heaven, living in the hell of the jungle would be better than heaven
but not to assume this responsibilities to be at your side living in this beautiful palace will be like
hell and they went to the jungle together. Rama He was willing to fight an entire war to protect
His wife, such responsibility, such faithfulness, such loyalty and not without differences either,
differences are always there. I was recently with chief minister of Gujarat Mister Narendra Modi
we have a released of the Guajarati version of this book I wrote “Journey Home” and he released
it and he gave a speech and he was talking about the nature of what the world is coming to due to
so many influences. He said it’s become a world, you have heard of saying eat, drink and be
marry; he said it’s become a world of eat, drink and remarry. Easy way outs but actually takes up
the responsibility to make things work is what really brings the quality of our character and our
love to the platform of being real and being deep and connects us with God. So Rama and Sita
they wanted to show by that example that real love is developed through challenges.

Later on Bharata Rama’s younger brother who is the son of Kaikeyi found out what mother did
and he totally rejected her, he renounced her as a mother and he went to the forest to give Rama
the kingdom back because she did it all to make her son the king. Rama said no, you be the king;
our father has died because of his heart break due to his whole situation you be the king and then
he gave him special instruction it’s a long conversation it’s in the Ramayana, he said that you
must honor and forgive your mother Kaikeyi and take care of her with love and devotion. I have
forgiven her, I have no grudge against her it wasn’t her that exiled me to the forest it was the
envy born of ignorance that overcame her but now she realized her mistake, with all love and
care rule the kingdom and take care of your mother and take care of my mother too because she
misses me.

Forgiveness, even for somebody who have hurt you so bad this is real spirituality, if we go to
church whether we chant Japa or whether we meditate or whether we pray or whether we do
Namaz whatever our particular, if we can’t learn to be instruments of love, if we cannot forgive,
if we cannot beyond or beneath the apparent leprosy of a person’s situation or our own then it’s
not really religion at all, it’s not really spiritual at all its just something very external and
superficial.

Real inherit to be left behind is love, integrity and character

This world needs so much to give this lesson to the future generation because children they see
more than they hear, seeing believes. Good examples give good foundations for the people and
yes, I am just so proud of Ajay and Swati they have given such a good example to the world,
they have just beautiful children Ananda is so eager and enthusiastic just do wonderful things for
everybody comes in contact within, everyone else, peter and Nandini such beautiful people that
quality of charity that quality of generosity that quality of devotion. You know sometimes
mothers and fathers leave a lot of money for children and then they become enemy fighting over
it, it’s just a natural thing that happens everywhere in the world it’s happen throughout history
but what’s the greatest thing that children could inherit from their parents values, character,
integrity, love. Then whether along with them, you give billions of rupees or millions of rupees
or just the little shed in the city of joy you leave an inherent of real wealth for the children and
this is something beautiful.

nitya-siddha kåñëa-prema ‘sädhya’ kabhu naya

çravaëädi-çuddha-citte karaye udaya

As chanting of God’s names, this living a spiritually oriented life of seva, unselfish service is the
greatest wealth in the world because it cleanses the heart, it awakens our love for God and
empowers us to be instruments of that love to actually make real change and transformation in
ourselves, our family, our nation and the world. These are some of the beautiful messages that I
learned from great land of India, from the most incredible people of India, there all sorts of
people of India, but some of the most beautiful people I have ever met.

Radhanath Swami’s love towards his family

When I came home, my family was shocked to say the least. Would you like to hear the story
very briefly? I was a 19 year old boy living in a little town Northern Chicago, was going to
college. I left for a summer vacation, I promised I will be back in two and half months and years
later I returned. When I returned, they didn’t know what to expect because they were getting
letter from Himalayas where I was writing every month or so, I am living in a cave and I am
studying the monkeys and the snakes and the leopards and I thought they are going to think I am
so cool but they thought I was completely insane and they worried like anything. I came home a
hardcore ascetic from a tradition they could not understand and I can tell you something, their
way of life was totally different than my own. When I saw them sitting on the couches and
watching television and I would say, ‘what are you doing?’ I was sleeping outside. But, they
tried to love and understand me despite the differences and I tried to love and understand them
despite the differences. And they forgave me and I forgave them because we were trying to unite
on the higher principle and I can tell you and my parents will tell you, if we didn’t go through
that we could not be a fraction of what we are today as far as the respect, the honor and the love
we have for each other. My parents were Jewish and when my mother passed away, I had
nothing to do with the decision but my family they did something that never ever happened in
the history of our family, as long as we know, they decided to cremate my mother and give the
ashes to me to bring to India because their trips to India and meeting the most beautiful people
they ever met in their world, in their lives and they had so many friends. The culture, the
traditions, the values, it was so beautiful to them. My family said this is what your mother
wants, and this is what we want. Take her ashes to India, and I did. They asked me to give a
speech for her, the eulogy at her funeral in a Jewish funeral home and the rabbi I was wondering
what is the swami giving the speech in the Jewish funeral? But he really liked the speech. When
I took the ashes, not for from Calcutta, Navadvip, we had three thousand of our devotees on the
bank of the Ganges, the Ganga, all chanting prayers with tears, appeal to the Lord to bestow
blessings upon my mother and all those people were chanting and praying, I placed the body of
my mother’s into the body of mother Ganga and to me this represented what Bhakti is! The
unity of the physical, the emotional and the spiritual, that is yoga. I offered a prayer that Krishna,
through the current of mother Ganga, please bring the eternal beloved soul of my mother into the
sea of your grace and I believe from the core of my heart that prayer was heard. They were
married fifty-eight years and my mother passed away and I saw the challenges they had.
Forgiveness and love brings about true happiness.

And I will end with Sita and Rama, they were living in the forest in Chitrakut and Sita said to
Rama, they were living in the forest and they were just serving people. Here was the most royal
king and queen with the greatest luxuries and now they are living with tree bark and little straw
hut in a forest and they would pick fruits and make flower garlands and give them to the different
Sages and Rsis and the holy people and just serve, just serve people. Sita said to Ram, I was
never happier in my whole life than this life of giving, this life of serving and Ram said yes,
these are the happiest moments of our life.

So wherever we are, Srila Prabhupada my Guru he said, happiness is not about being attached to
living in a palace or being attached to living under a tree. He told me, you are too attached to
living under a tree. Real happiness, wherever we are, to see the opportunity to be an instrument
of love and to serve and Dominique gave this beautiful story which touched our hearts because
the story of the wealth of giving, the wealth of humbling our self to recognize that God’s love is
the most precious thing in all of creation. And if I can just make that connection and just be a
humble instrument of that love, whoever I am, whatever I may have, we have infinite wealth.

So on this very special day, let us all offer our special prayers to Ajay and Swati and their
wonderful families to bless them with more and more opportunities to affect our hearts and help
to transform the world.

Thank you very much!