Christian Gerard E.

Eleria GED101
AM14 October 4, 2021

What do I Really Believe In?

In 19 years of living, I have been through a lot so far. I have experienced bad times and good times;

I have learned a lot from those experiences. As I face everyday life, I surpass problems day by

day, and as time passed, I developed my personal beliefs. This essay will share the opinion I have

created in academics, relationships, and myself. And find out the answer with the question: “What

do I believe in?” Studying is the main thing we need to focus on. When I was a child, climbing to

the top 1 wasn’t a thing to me. Attending the class every day was what I thought before. But as I

entered high school and luckily entered the STEM program, my beliefs about studying changed. I

was surrounded by intelligent people and was forced to adapt to it. If before, I was not grading

conscious this time, I started to become grade aware. Having 85 qualities wasn’t enough for me

because I had to do better and be like my STEM classmates. I worked hard 24/7, and as a year

passed, I survived JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL STEM with flying colors. Then as I stepped into

SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL and was surrounded not only by my former STEM classmates but also

regular students from the same campus as STEM and transferee students, my beliefs in studying

also changed. For four years, I was surrounded by the same intelligent people, and I haven’t noticed

our personalities because what matters to us the most is grades. Although, as we faced different

projects during our SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL days personalities of my former STEM classmates

appeared. Discrimination was real between STEM students and regular students; at that moment,

I knew why we, the STEM students are isolated from the traditional student of our campus. As a

STEM student, I was also guilty of our personality; even though I was on the opposite side of my

former STEM classmates when we had a conflict, I still felt guilty. I am lucky to have non-stem
friends and classmates on my side, even though I only bond with them for about a couple of

months. I realized after that conflict that intelligence is nothing if you have a lousy personality.

Also, people you met in a while might be people to trust than people you satisfied for years. I felt

sad losing my former STEM friends and glad to meet non-stem friends who have been with me

through a lot so far.

As I met different people, I have developed different relationships with other people. These people

taught me different lessons that I am still using in my everyday life. First, my relationship with my

family. As I grow, I am not close with my family. I thought being an introvert was an excuse for

me not to share my problems or even random stories with them. As I experienced difficulties in

life, I learned that family will always be there for you no matter what. Second my relationship with

my friends; I was not good at having friends when I was a child. During my elementary days, I

would always have enemies than friends. At school, they think I am a troubled child because I am

always at the principal’s office for fighting with bullies, then in our neighborhood, they think I am

a rich sassy girl; they would only play with me so that they could enter our house or I would treat

them sometimes they stop playing when I try to join. Because of that experience, I believed that

being a fierce girl wouldn’t help me create friends, while being sassy wouldn’t help me find real

friends. I was not mature back then, so I changed myself and stayed neutral, not fierce or sassy.

When I transferred school, I was approached by a girl who was my first friend, and it was the first

time someone tried to befriend me. I didn’t think twice and became friends with her immediately.

But as time passed by, I realized that she didn’t want to be friends with me; I didn’t know her real

reason for acting like a friend with me, but she talked lies about me when I was not around. It

hurts; the only friend I have betrayed me. That moment realizes I can’t trust easily even though

they intend to be your friend, and you need to know them very well before relying on them. Then
as I stepped into high school years, I developed a lot of friends because I belong to a STEM

program where we only have 2 sections, and for four years, I was surrounded by them, so I

developed a deep friendship with them. But not all of our friends stayed as our friends ‘til the end

and I didn’t accept that even though I knew it’s the reality. It’s hard for me when someone I used

to be my friend becomes a stranger, but I have nothing to do but accept it. Nevertheless, I finished

junior high school with five firm friends, and they are my main friends until now. As I entered my

SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL years, I got surrounded by new people and surprisingly I had new boy

best friends. When I was in JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL, I always wanted to have boy best friends

but I never had one, but in SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL, I got plenty of them. Before, girl best friends

are better than boy best friends because I don’t want to have some romantic relationship with a

boy best friend, but my SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL boy best friends prove me wrong. I knew that

having boy best friends is different from having girl best friends because I can be so open to them

in different ways. Also, they are the best advisers and comforters, and they are the real one call

away from friends. Lastly, a relationship with a special someone. Before, I was only the one not

having a boyfriend within my squad, and I thought I needed to have one because all of them have.

Because I was too pressured to have that someone, I got into a bad relationship which brought me

into losing a special friend. I realized that I don’t need to rush things like this because true love

will find its way to me. But I didn’t successfully learn that lesson because months after that

scenario, I had my legal boyfriend. Everything happened too fast, and again I lost friends just

wanting love from someone. From now I am holding with my belief that everything happens for a

great reason. Love truly is destructive if it is out of hand. I regret having a boyfriend only because

I forgot my friends, but I didn’t regret having the relationship because it gave me a lot of happy

memories that only I could have from a boyfriend. That experience taught me that I should cherish
every moment with someone I love because I will never know when it will end. Also, accept that

people come and go; not everyone is meant to stay. Lastly, first love never dies, but that doesn’t

mean it is true love.

As I surpassed all the problems I’ve been through, I always made decisions that ended a problem

and solved those problems. With the help of the people around me and my experiences, I developed

myself. And as I grew, I became more mature and learned some lessons all by myself. First, the

only person who can solve my problems is myself; friends and family are only my support; the

decision is always up to me. The second is that every action I make has consequences, might be

good or bad, but it always has, so I better be careful of every decision I make. Third, self-care and

self-love are a must; this belief is something I am not doing for now, but I’m in the process. I have

always taken my problems seriously, and my only solution to those problems is crying endlessly

and skipping a meal. But doing those won’t solve the problem I am facing, yet I am creating a new

concern about my health. Recently, I have been dealing with myself trying to control my feelings

to abuse myself again. Lastly, God will always take away. In 19 years of existence, I never thought

I would surpass the problems I faced in the past, and I thought I wouldn’t continue living because

of that. Yet gladly I lived up until today, and those problems made me stronger. I would never

want to experience such issues I have experienced before, but I think being in that problem helps

me grow and be a better person. As we grow old, our beliefs change and sometimes increase. Life

is full of surprises; we discover a part of ourselves every day, but what do I believe in? Quite a

tricky question because I have many beliefs in life. But what matters the most is that everything I

experience might be happiness, sadness, or a typical day. I always believe in God. I know

everything He wants me to participate in has a reason, and someday I will have answers to all the

questions about the reasons for the problems and have experienced. Indeed, all of us want to live
a charmed life, but we can never feel satisfied if we don’t experience being sad, which makes life

exciting.