FLASH NARRATIVE

“I want to be with you, but not like this. Not where I'm in competition with these other

girls. I love you but I'm tired of dealing with the same disrespect over and over.'' Those were the

last words I said to him before I turned away and tried to forget about him. The person I have

grown up with for the past 2 years. Running my hands through my long black hair, I walked

away and tried to refrain from crying. I could hear the way he hit the wall in distress, not

knowing if he should run after me. I don't think I had ever felt more pain than at that moment.

For as long as anyone could remember it was always Alex and Amethyst.

Alex has always been my best friend. Since the day I met him in dance class, I wanted to

know everything about him. I paid attention to so many little details from the way his honey

brown eyes looked in the sunlight, to the way the freckles across his face reminded me of

constellations in the sky. He has such a goofy character to him where he can light up a room by

just entering it. He makes everyone feel cared for, that's one of the things I liked so much.

Something about him had such a gravitational pull. I was always so scared to talk to him. I spent

so much time staring at him until the day I finally got the chance to talk to him when we were

put in a group. We became such close friends. It stayed like that for about 2 years up until

freshman year, where we finally went on a date to the homecoming dance at Copper Hills High

School. It was such a wonderful night. It felt like a scene out of a movie where everything just

went perfectly. He made me feel cared for and loved that entire night. Every day I spent with him
will always be engraved in my head. We made memories that I want to remember for as long as

possible.

I went home after I had initiated the break up. I felt like I had lost a piece of me. I

remember not wanting to eat and a few days after that I still didn't have an appetite. I felt so

incredibly sad but I had friends who helped me through it. About 3 months later, I was starting to

feel better. I still missed him and I still wanted to be with him. As much as I knew how poorly he

treated me, I just wanted him to be back in my life.

The school bell rang as my friends and I entered the school, we were running late so we

hurried and went to our 5th period. “ Hello class, today we will be having a different lesson. One

of our counslors are here to talk to you guys bout suicide prevention, “ I rolled my eyes as I

heard that. It feels like they repeat the same story again and again. “It's not like we all don't

already know that almost everyone in this school is depressed,” I said to my best friend Julia. I

sat back and listened to the lesson again but guess this time I was listening in more closely on

how to talk to someone about other problems.

For a while now I started playing this game with myself where I started going to the gym

more and taking dance classes excessively. After the break up, I noticed how easy it was to skip a

meal or two. The game became how long I could go without eating. It took my mind off a lot of

things such as dealing with my emotions. I did it more and more often. I started noticing how I

began to lose weight after a while. It made me happy because who doesn’t want to lose weight?

The game became harder after a while because no weight was ever good enough.
 The counselor talked about how breakups can initiate depression, but I’m not depressed. I

know what I was doing is wrong but to me it didn't feel wrong it was more of a game. I wanted

to talk to someone but I didn't know how. None of my friends noticed either--they just

congratulated me on losing weight.

The words of what the counselor said kept ringing in my ear. People, including my dance

teacher, noticed a difference in me. I know she's heard me talking about skipping meals. So why

hasn't she reached out the same way she would if she suspected suicide? As the counselor

continued talking, I thought back and noticed that many teachers observe their students but never

really say anything if they think something is wrong. Maybe it’s the same reason I don't know

how to talk to anyone in this school. Maybe it’s because I was not taught a way to talk to people

about this, or even be able to talk to people about topics like this at all.

As The bell rang the counselor giving the lesson stopped me and asked, “ Are you doing

okay?” She sounded concerned and I thought there was no better person to tell than my school

counselor. “No. I'm hungry, I have been for the past week.” She laughed as I said that thinking it

was a joke and that I just needed to eat lunch. ” Well you better head off to the lunch room for

some food honey.” I walked off thinking how could SHE not know that was a cry for help. The

highschool halls never felt more lonely than in that moment.