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Cah Printplay Intl-Final
Cah Printplay Intl-Final
You’re done!
2.3
Game Rules
Basic Rules House Rules (cont.)
To start the game, each player draws ten white cards. Wheaton’s Law: Each round, the Card Czar draws two black cards,
chooses the one they’d prefer to play, and puts the other at the
The player who most recently pooped begins as the Card Czar
bottom of the black card pile.
and draws a black card. If Hugh Jackman is playing, he goes first,
regardless of how recently he pooped. Rebooting the Universe: At any time, players may trade in a point to
return as many white cards as they’d like to the deck and draw back
The Card Czar reads the question or fill-in-the-blank phrase on the
to ten.
black card out loud. Everyone else answers the question or fills in the
blank by passing one white card, face down, to the Card Czar. Packing Heat: For Pick 2s, all players draw an extra card before
playing the hand to open up more options.
The Card Czar then shuffles all the answers and reads each card
combination out loud to the group. The Card Czar should re-read Meritocracy: Instead of passing clockwise, the role of Card Czar
the black card before presenting each answer. Finally, the Card Czar passes to the winner of the previous round.
picks the funniest play, and whoever submitted it gets one point.
Smooth Operator: If a player slips a card from their hand into
After the round, a new player becomes the Card Czar and everyone conversation without anyone noticing, they may trade it for one point.
draws back up to ten white cards. If the player is called out, they lose a point. If this rule is confusing,
you’re taking this game too seriously.
Tie Breaker: If the Card Czar can’t decide between two white cards,
PICK they may declare a Tie Breaker. In the event of a Tie Breaker, the
more conventionally attractive player wins.
Some black cards say “PICK 2” on the bottom. To answer these, Chubby Bunny: Players crumple up their winning cards and keep
each player plays two white cards in combination. IMPORTANT: them in their mouths as points.
Arrange them in the order that the Card Czar should read them—play
Freaky Friday: Players play Cards Against Humanity while wearing
the first card face down, and then play the second card face down on
their mothers’ underpants.
top of it.
Hard Mode: Play Cards Against Humanity while raising four kids,
dealing with chronic back pain, and waiting tables at Chili’s. Bonus!
For an added challenge, try being gay or black.
Gambling
Russian Roulette: The Card Czar takes out a revolver. They place
If you have more than one white card that you think could win a one bullet at random in the cylinder, spin it, and close it. They then
round, you can bet one of your points to play an extra white card. If hold the gun to their head and pull the trigger. If the Card Czar
you win, you keep the point. If you lose, whoever wins gets the point survives, they defiantly place the gun in the center of the table and
you wagered. eye the other players, challenging them to pick up the gun “if they’re
man enough.” The Card Czar wins a point.
Hail to the Chief: A player may earn a point at any time by
House Rules announcing candidacy for and successfully being elected President
of the United States of America.
Cards Against Humanity is meant to be remixed. Here are some of Race to the Moon: All players begin masturbating immediately.
our favorite ways to pimp out the rules: Then what happens?
Rando Cardrissian: Every round, pick one random white card from Smoke Opium and Play Cards Against Humanity: Great idea!
the pile and place it into play. This card belongs to an imaginary
Wait for Godot: At the start of the game, instead of drawing a
player named Rando Cardrissian, and if he wins the game, all players
hand, players stare at the pile of white cards. After an indeterminate
go home in a state of everlasting shame.
amount of time, players move their gaze to the pile of black cards.
Happy Ending: When you’re ready to end the game, play the “Make The game doesn’t begin. How can it begin? It has already ended. In
a haiku” black card. This is the official ceremonial ending of a good the gloom, players shift their cloudy gaze from pile to pile. Is it a trick
game of Cards Against Humanity. Note: Haikus don’t need to follow of the light, or do the black cards and white cards seem to converge
the 5-7-5 form. They just have to be read dramatically. in an indistinguishable grayness? Mote by mote, dust settles on the
Never Have I Ever: At any time, players may discard cards that they cards. Nobody accumulates points. Nobody wins.
don’t understand, but they must confess their ignorance to the group Don’t play Cards Against Humanity: Walk to a park. Call your
and suffer the resulting humiliation. mother. Live a little.
2.3
Going an entire Destroying The gays. A bird that shits
day without the evidence. human turds.
masturbating.
2.2
Being awesome A PowerPoint Letting The American Dream.
at sex. presentation. everyone down.
2.2
Fear itself. A stray pube. A snapping The Black Death.
turtle biting the
tip of your penis.
2.2
A cop who is Full frontal nudity. My little boner. The hiccups.
also a dog.
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Being a hideous Hot wet my Nunchuck moves. Our dildo.
beast that no one pussy is.
could love.
Miley Cyrus. My ugly face and The entire internet. Dick fingers.
bad personality.
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Extremely A really cool hat. Pumping out Bullshit.
tight jeans. a baby every
nine months.
Having sex on All the dudes I’ve Many bats. Holding down a
top of a pizza. fucked. child and farting
all over him.
2.2
Grandpa’s ashes. Terrorists. Hot cheese. Getting crushed by
a vending machine.
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Jesus. Literally eating shit. Seeing Grandma Suicidal thoughts.
naked.
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Shutting Ominous One titty David Bowie
the fuck up. background music. hanging out. flying in on a tiger
made of lightning.
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Multiple stab Rich people. Genuine human Daddy issues.
wounds. connection.
2.2
Loki, the Fiery poops. Mooing. A bitch slap.
trickster god.
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All of this blood. Dark and The pirate’s life. Emerging from the
mysterious forces sea and rampaging
beyond our control. through Tokyo.
2.2
Invading Poland. Pictures of boobs. Nipple blades. The only
gay person
in a hundred
kilometers.
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Brutal austerity. Balls. Shitting out a An unstoppable
screaming face. wave of fire ants.
2.2
Tongue. My vagina. PTSD. Exactly what
you’d expect.
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Having big dreams Buying the right Existing. Saying “I love you.”
but no realistic way clothes to be cool.
to achieve them.
2.2
The Patriarchy. Friendly fire. A much My cheating
younger woman. son-of-a-bitch
husband.
2.2
Flying robots A bag of Tripping balls. Nothing.
that kill people. magic beans.
2.2
Explaining the Having sex for Tom Cruise. Multiple orgasms.
difference between the first time.
sex and gender.
2.2
Winking at Powerful thighs. Therapy. Dining with
old people. cardboard
cutouts of the
cast of Friends.
2.2
Mutually assured The screams...the The violation of The placenta.
destruction. terrible screams. our most basic
human rights.
2.2
A homoerotic Peeing a little bit. A bowl of Children
volleyball montage. mayonnaise and on leashes.
human teeth.
2.2
Being white. Filling my son Preteens. An army of
with spaghetti. skeletons.
2.2
Moral ambiguity. God. Your weird brother. Mediocrity.
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Mouth herpes. Autocannibalism. A defective Diversity.
condom.
2.2
Shiny objects. Throwing a virgin in The heart of a child. Ryan Gosling riding
a volcano. in on a white horse.
2.2
But before I What is Batman’s I learned the I’m sorry,
kill you, Mr. Bond, guilty pleasure? hard way that you Professor, but I
I must show you can’t cheer up a couldn’t complete
. grieving friend with my homework
. because of
.
What makes life The theme for next Mr. and Mrs. Diaz, we What gives me
worth living? year’s Eurovision called you in because uncontrollable gas?
Song Contest is we’re concerned about
“We are Cynthia. Are you aware
.” that your daughter is
.
2.2
Having problems I’m not like the rest Just saw this The blind date was
with ? of you. I’m too rich upsetting video! going horribly until
Try ! and busy for . Please retweet!! we discovered our
#stop . shared interest in
.
When all else Uh, hey guys, I War! What is Daddy, why is
fails, I can always know this was it good for? mommy crying?
masturbate to my idea, but I’m
. having serious
doubts about
.
What will always Next from Why do I What left this stain
get you laid? J.K. Rowling: hurt all over? on my couch?
Harry Potter and
the Chamber of
.
2.2
The class What’s that smell? What are my The Five Stages
field trip was parents hiding of Grief: denial,
completely from me? anger, bargaining,
ruined by ,
. acceptance.
It’s a pity that What made my first The secret to a Just once, I’d
kids these days kiss so awkward. lasting marriage like to hear
are all getting is communication, you say “Thanks,
involved with communication, Mom. Thanks for
. and . .”
2.2
When I pooped, Make a haiku. Future historians Why can’t I
what came out will agree that sleep at night?
of my butt?
marked the beginning
of America’s decline.
A romantic, Only two things Turns out that Dear Sir or Madam,
candlelit dinner would in life are certain: -man was We regret to inform
be incomplete without death and neither the hero we you that the Office of
. . needed nor wanted.
has denied your
request for
.
During sex, I like What never fails to Why am I sticky? Doctor, you’ve
to think about liven up the party? gone too far!
. The human body
wasn’t meant to
withstand that
amount of
!
2.2
In a world ravaged I got 99 Tonight’s top story: After months
by problems but What you don’t of practice with
our only solace know about ,
is . ain’t one. I think I’m
could kill you. finally ready for
.
2.2
Terms of Use
Thanks for downloading this all over your computer.
BY-NC-SA 2.0 License. You can read more about the license at:
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/.
Attribution: If you distribute our game, give us credit for the content.
Noncommercial: You can’t sell our game or any derivative of our game
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Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 2.0 License.
You must also comply with the Laws of Man and Nature. Don’t use any
form of this game for nefarious purposes like libel, slander, diarrhea,
copyright infringement, harassment, or death. If you break the law and
get in trouble for it, Cards Against Humanity is free of all liability.
2.3