Alyanna Mae Dequino

BSA 1A
Manuscript
Emotional Invalidation

Good day, everyone! I am Alyanna Mae B. Dequino, and I am going to talk about
Emotional Invalidation. But before that, I would like to ask you some questions. Have you ever
said to someone that you are sad and then that person told you, "It's just in your mind, you only
need to stop thinking about it."? If yes, did that help you? "Get over it", "do not be so sensitive",
"it's not even a big deal", "you're just overreacting", "other people are going through a lot
worse than that", "there's no reason to feel that way"¾How many times do we hear this day-to-
day and just accepted it? That is emotional invalidation.

Emotional Invalidation is about dismissing or rejecting someone's internal feelings and

emotions, which is certainly psychological and emotional abuse. And it is heart-breaking that we
hear such phrases from people who we care about and people who we thought could
understand and help us. Sometimes they do it intentionally but the craziest part here is that
they may not be aware that they are doing it, but they are already making the situation worse.
No one, who is having a real hard time, wants to hear something like "just be happy" or "just
stop worrying about it" because if they can, perhaps they could have done it already. Telling
someone to be positive when they are down is like telling a person with broken legs to walk. It
does not work out.

Emotional invalidation can be when someone is taking a break for himself because he
feels restless, but for some reason, other people are telling it is just a drama and that the
suffering person is just sitting at home and watching Netflix. When in fact, that person tires to
wake up every morning because he feels like there is nothing that keeps him going.

Discrediting ladies' emotions caused by Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is also emotional

invalidation. People must understand that this hormonal thing is natural.
 The same goes for boys when someone tells "Why are you crying? Real men don't cry.".
What kind of nonsense is that? Men are entitled to feel any emotion and it does not make them
any less of a man.

Emotional invalidation is a heavy thing. And it can also be ourselves who are invalidating
our own emotions. Our social norms made us believe that validation depends on how well we
dress and look, how perfect our relationships with other people are and how they appear, how
many likes and followers we have, how good our life goes, and how positive our emotional state
is. Because of this, we have forgotten that it is okay when things do not go our way, that it is
fine to have flaws and that our emotions are natural.

I have experienced it. I am used to hearing and thinking that there is something wrong
with me, that I am always overthinking and overreacting. But guess what? I have realized that
emotions are natural, they are not right or wrong, and feeling them makes us human. That is
why instead of backing away from negative emotions, we must accept and embrace them. We
must acknowledge what we feel without rushing to change our emotional state, but of course,
we must remind ourselves that they are just temporary, and we can get through it.

And if you notice that you have been invalidating others' emotions, it may be because
some people did the same thing towards you and sometimes, we do not realize we are already
doing the same thing. But it is never too late, we can still learn to improve and prevent making
the situations worse. The first thing we can do is to reflect on others' experiences. Then, let
them know that you hear them and that you are ready to understand them. Emotional
validation does not mean you must agree with them, you can have different thoughts but still,
acknowledge and understand another's feelings and emotions.

In conclusion, emotional invalidation will not make someone feel good and will only
make situations worse. So, let us strive to avoid it and save someone from mental,
psychological, and emotional damages it can cause. Because just like what Thibaut Meurisse
said, "You can't force a raging water to be calm. You have to leave it and let it return to its
natural flow. Emotions are the same."