Hamlet
II II 327-375
ROSENCRANTZ
Faith, there has been much to do on
both sides, and the nation holds it no
sin to tar them to controversy. There
was, for a while, no money bid for
argument unless the poet and the
player went to cuffs in the question.
HAMLET
Is ’t possible?
GUILDENSTERN
Oh, there has been much throwing
about of brains.
HAMLET
Do the boys carry it away?
ROSENCRANTZ
Ay, that they do, my lord. Hercules
and his load too.
HAMLET
It is not very strange. For my uncle is
King of Denmark, and those that
would make mouths at him while my
father lived give twenty, forty, fifty, a
hundred ducats apiece for his picture
in little. 'Sblood, there is something in
this more than natural, if philosophy
could find it out.
Flourish for the PLAYERS within
GUILDENSTERN
There are the players.
HAMLET
Gentlemen, you are welcome to
Elsinore. Your hands, come then. Th'
appurtenance of welcome is fashion
and ceremony. Let me comply with
you in this garb—lest my extent to
the players, which, I tell you, must
show fairly outwards, should more
ROSENCRANTZ
There’s been a whole debate on the
topic. For a while, no play was sold to
the theaters without a big fight between
the children’s playwright and the actors
playing adult roles.
HAMLET
Are you kidding?
GUILDENSTERN
Oh, there’s been a lot of quarreling.
HAMLET
And the boys are winning so far?
ROSENCRANTZ
Yes, they are, my lord—little boys are
carrying the whole theater on their
backs, like Hercules carried the world.
HAMLET
Actually, it’s not so unusual when you
think about it. My uncle is king of
Denmark, and the same people who
made fun of him while my father was
still alive are now rushing to pay
twenty, forty, fifty, a hundred ducats
apiece for miniature portraits of him.
There’s something downright unnatural
about it, if a philosopher stopped to
think about it.
Trumpets play offstage, announcing
the arrival of the PLAYERS .
GUILDENSTERN
The actors are here.
HAMLET
Gentlemen, welcome to Elsinore. Don’t
be shy—shake hands with me. If I’m
going to welcome you I have to go
through all these polite customs, don’t
I? And if we don’t shake hands, when I
act all nice to the players it will seem
like I’m happier to see them than you.
appear like entertainment than yours. You are very welcome here. But still,
You are welcome. But my uncle- my uncle-father and aunt-mother have
father and aunt-mother are deceived. got the wrong idea.

GUILDENSTERN GUILDENSTERN
In what, my dear lord? In what sense, my lord?

HAMLET HAMLET
I am but mad north-north-west. When the I’m only crazy sometimes. At other times, I
wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a know what’s what.
handsaw.

Enter POLONIUS POLONIUS enters.

POLONIUS POLONIUS
Well be with you, gentlemen. Gentlemen, I hope you are well.

HAMLET
Hark you, Guildenstern, and you too—at
each ear a
hearer. (indicates POLONIUS )That great
baby you see there is not yet out of his
swaddling-clouts
HAMLET
Listen, Guildenstern, and you too,
Rosencrantz—listen as close as you
can! (he gestures towardPOLONIUS )This
big baby is still in diapers.

ROSENCRANTZ ROSENCRANTZ
Happily he’s the second time come to them, Yes, the second time around, since, as
for they say an old man is twice a child. they say, old people become children
again.

HAMLET
(aside
to ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN ) I
will prophesy he comes to tell me of the
players. Mark it. (toPOLONIUS)— You say
right, sir. O' Monday morning, ’twas so
indeed.
HAMLET
(whispering
to ROSENCRANTZ andGUILDENSTERN) 
I bet he’s coming to tell me about the
actors; just watch. (to POLONIUS)You’re
right, sir, that happened on Monday
morning.

POLONIUS POLONIUS
My lord, I have news to tell you. My lord, I have news for you.

HAMLET HAMLET
My lord, I have news to tell you. When My lord, I have news for you. When
Roscius was an actor in Rome— Roscius was an actor in ancient Rome —

POLONIUS POLONIUS
The actors are come hither, my lord. The actors have arrived, my lord.

HAMLET HAMLET
Buzz, buzz. Yawn, snore.

POLONIUS POLONIUS
Upon my honor— I swear—
 HAMLET HAMLET
Then came each actor on his ass— —each actor arrived on his ass.

POLONIUS
The best actors in the world, either for
tragedy, comedy, history, pastoral,
pastoral-comical, historical-pastoral,
tragical-historical, tragical-comical-
historical-pastoral, scene individable,
or poem unlimited. Seneca cannot be
too heavy, nor Plautus too light. For
the law of writ and the liberty, these
are the only men.
POLONIUS
They are the best actors in the world,
either fortragedy, comedy, history,
pastoral, pastoral-comical, historical-
pastoral, tragical-historical, tragical-
comical-historical, one-act plays, or
long poems. The tragic playwright
Seneca is not too heavy for them to
handle nor is the comic writer Plautus
too light. For formal plays or freer
dramas, these are the best actors
around.

HAMLET HAMLET
O Jephthah, judge of Israel, what a Oh, Jephthah, judge of ancient Israel,
treasure hadst thou! what a treasure you had!

POLONIUS POLONIUS
What a treasure had he, my lord? What treasure did he have, my lord?

HAMLET HAMLET
Why, Well, (sings)
 One fair daughter and no more,  One fine daughter, and no more,
 The which he lovèd passing well.  Whom he loved more than anything
—.

POLONIUS POLONIUS
(aside) Still on my daughter. (to himself) Still talking about my
daughter, I see.

HAMLET HAMLET
Am I not i' th' right, old Jephthah? Aren’t I right, Jephthah, old man?

POLONIUS POLONIUS
If you call me Jephthah, my lord, I If you’re calling me Jephthah, my lord,
have a daughter that I love passing I do have a daughter I love more than
well. anything, yes.

Haamlet continues his conversation with r OSENCRANTZ about the children and adult companions in
the theaters. OSENCRANTZ says that there has been a play sld without quarreling and that in those
quarrellings the children win the most. Hamlet uses the change in the theaters to make a bribed comment
on Denmark. While his father was on the throne people use to make fun of Claudius and are now rushing
to pay twenty, forty, fifty, a hundred ducats apiece for miniature portraits of him. There’s something downright
unnatural about it, if a philosopher stopped to think about it. Hamlet welcome the actor Elsinore in the best way.

“HAMLET
I am but mad north-north-west. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw.” Hamlet make an
enigmatic comment. Hawk could be a bird of prey or plasterer’s board for mortar, handsaw could be heron or a
carpenter’s saw. He might me saying that he know the difference between one thing and another implying that
he is not mad, or he might be saying nonsensness in order to “prove “ his insanity.

Polonius enters to tell hamlet the news about the actors. Hamlet mocks him “great baby you see there is not yet
out of his swaddling-clouts” saying that he know what polonius will tell him.

Polonius describes the actors as on of the best. He compares the to Seneca (tragic Roman dramatist) and
Plautus ( comic Roman dramatists).

Hamlet sings” One fair daughter and no more,

 The which he lovèd passing well.”

Polonius thinks hamlet insanity is to that point that he sings sings for his daughter in the middle of another
conversation.