WIN FRIENDS

&
INFLUENCE PEOPLE
DALE CARNEGIE

SUMMARY AND INSIGHTS

HOW TO WIN FRIENDS & INFLUENCE PEOPLE

“Our happiness doesnt depend on any external

conditions. It is governed by our mental attitude.”
NAME: Dale Carnegie [Carnagey until c. 1922]
BIRTHDATE: November 24, 1888 , Maryville, Missouri
DIED: November 1, 19tt (aged 66) Forest Hills, New York, U.S.
EDUCATION: State Teacher's College, Warrensburg (1908)

During World War I, Carnegie served in the U.S. Army spending the time at Camp Upton.
By 1916, Dale conducted a sold out lecture at Carnegie Hall, which influenced his decision
in 1919 to change the spelling of his last name in honor of the steel magnate, Andrew
Carnegie, and easier for others to remember. Dale Carnegie began his career not as a writer,
but as a teacher of public speaking.

PUBLISHER: Simon and Schuster

PUBLICATION DATE: October 1936
HARDCOVER: 291 Pages
ISBN: 1-4391-6734-6
OCLC: 40137494
TITLE: HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE

INTRODUCTION

Knowing how to understand another person is a difficult art. Sometimes

one wrong word can destroy a long-term friendship, while a well-chosen one
can make you unforgettable.

Each of us wants to feel important, relevant, and appreciated. And

everyone is afraid of humiliation, defeat, and shame. If you make others feel
important and confident when they are around you, then you'll be able to bring
them together.
Don't Judge Others, Start with Yourself

"Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof, when

your own doorstep is unclean." - Confucius

Criticizing others is pointless because it forces to defend themselves and

usually causes us to justify ourselves. It is dangerous because it hurts their pride
and sense of value and arouses resentment. When we criticize others, we don't
change them. Instead, we often cause permanent injury. Resentment and dislike
due to criticism can only demoralize family members, friends, and employees;
they cannot change what has already happened.

Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn, but it takes character and
self-control to be forgiving and understanding. Instead of criticizing people, try
to understand them. Try to figure out why they behave the way they do. This is
much better than condemning. It breeds tolerance, sympathy, and kindness.

The Big Secret of Dealing with People

"I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people...the

greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in
a person is by appreciation and encouragement.” - Charles Schwab

Appreciation and praise rarely find expression in our daily lives. We must
not forget that we are all human, and we crave appreciation. People need
recognition!
Leave a trail of gratitude in your wake. Like a river that is constantly
flowing, you will pass through this situation and point in time only once. So take
advantage of it! Show kindness and strive to do good now because you may not
have the opportunity in the future.
You Can't Win an Argument

“If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory
sometimesl but it will be an empty victory because you will never
get your opponent's goodwill." -Ben Franklin

To get the best of an argument is to avoid it. As

Buddha said, "Hatred is never ended by hatred, but by love."
Misunderstandings will never be esolved in dispute, but only through tact,
diplomacy, reconciliation, and a sincere desire to understand the other person's
point of view. Bear in mind some advice from an article from The Economic
Press titled "Bits and Pieces”. It provides concrete steps to ensure that a
disagreement does not turn into an argument: distrust your first instinctive
impression, welcome disagreement, control your temper, look for areas of
agreement, listen first, thank your opponents sincerely for their interest,
promise to think over your opponents' ideas and study them carefully and
postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem.

What Everybody Wants

“Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for
sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you."

You should think about the other person's life to help

understand their actions or motivations. If you offend
someone, you should apologize and be sympathetic to their feelings. If you are
insulted, you should strive for he personal satisfaction of controlling your
temper and returning with courtesy for an insult.
If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin

“A person usually has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds
good and a real one."
-J. Pierpont Morgan

People have two motivations: the real one and the one
that sounds good. They want to be seen as idealists.
Refer to the nobility of your Interlocutor and don't suspect him of the worst but
of the best.

If you want to point out someone's mistakes, start by drawing attention

to what they did well. Instead of starting with criticism, start with something
nice.

How to Criticize and Not Be Hated for it

“Calling attention to one's mistakes indirectly works wonders

with sensitive people who may resent bitterly any direct
criticism.”

The most effective way to correct someone's

mistakes is to do it indirectly. Don't say it
directly. Instead, help them understand and
identify that they made a mistake through your actions. For example, let's
imagine a politician who wanted people to be able to come speak with him
whenever they wanted. After employees made it difficult for applicants to
access him, he took matters into his own hands and simply removed his office
door. This caused his office staff to realize that they weren't doing what he had
asked of them without the politician having to ever point out their mistake.
The most effective way to correct other’s mistake.

“We're really proud of you, Johnny, for raising your grades this term.
But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have
been better."

Can you see the difference? Some people start with

sincere praise followed by the word “but” and ending with a critical statement.
In this case, the interlocutor has the right to doubt the sincere praise. For him,
the praise is an introduction to criticism. It would be much better to use the
word "and" instead of "but." In this way, you indirectly pay attention to what
you want to change and chances are he will try to live up to our expectations.
This is the most effective way to correct others' mistakes.

Talk About Your Own Mistakes First

“Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.”

It is not nearly so difficult to listen to your own faults if the

person criticizing begins by admitting that he, too, is far
from perfect and also makes mistakes. Admitting your
own mistakes, even if they haven't been corrected, will
help you persuade others to change their behavior. Praise and humility can do
a lot in our daily contacts.
How to Spur People on to Success

“Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.

Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."

We should praise even the slightest progress. That

inspires people to keep on improving.
Psychologist Jess Lair said, “Praise is like sunlight
to the warm human spirit. We cannot flower and
grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only
too ready to apply to others the cold wind of
criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine of
praise."

When criticism is minimized and praise is emphasized, positive reactions

will emerge. We all crave recognition and gratitude, and we will do almost
anything to get it. However, no one likes insincerity. Any praise should be
sincere and come straight from the heart.

Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct

“Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct."

You should praise the things that others do

right and minimize their errors. You should
inspire others to act, not demotivate them. Make
the task seem easy, and let the other person know
that you have faith in their natural abilities.
Making People Glad to Do What You Want

“Always make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.” -Edward M. House

If you want to persuade someone to do something, ask yourself how he

will benefit. If he won't, you have to create some type of benefit. For example,
Napoleon appointed his 18 generals to be Marshals of France. And he called
the troops under their command great armies. Such a small thing, but it worked
as a motivator for the commanders.
 REFERENCES
Aesthetic Bacground//Front page/enhanced/Edited with Snapseed™
https://images.app.goo.gl/NR28mQacjSQik6cDA

Finger People//Group Hug//Front Page/enhanced/edited with Snapseed™

https://images.app.goo.gl/1HkrRbDG3WuRxBow6
Aesthetic Background/Body/Retrived from Google Images:
https://images.app.goo.gl/vM4mK1qpoEK9BtQt9

FINGER PEOPLE//FINGER Art

https://images.app.goo.gl/dMErTaGYwWyiTKge7
https://images.app.goo.gl/Nx6dFD7FuVRSArCVA
https://images.app.goo.gl/RFHYxXja9xDVPQgL7
https://images.app.goo.gl/MdbWoqibMNRSwj8t7
https://images.app.goo.gl/tPnwoAzP4ULPzcqN6
https://images.app.goo.gl/WachSnuwWFtkEhFJ9
https://images.app.goo.gl/YmQRiYaGnCGYzKTu7
https://images.app.goo.gl/SbaDj3EibRQihSvH7

Book Preview
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Dale Carnegie Photo//The Author
https://images.app.goo.gl/9WdPjQRyuvWLnfq39
Dale Carnegie’s Signature//Front Page
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dale_Carnegie
Read More about the author//Wikipedia//Dale Carnegie:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People

CABALINAN, JONIE CALIBAYAN

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