LPE2501 ACADEMIC WRITING

LECTURE NOTES 3
[WEEK 7 – 9]

Topics:
1. Paraphrasing Sources
2. Paraphrasing Strategies
3. Paraphrasing Method
4. Successful vs Unsuccessful
Paraphrases
1. PARAPHRASING SOURCES

When you describe something you have heard, you often repeat the same idea but
use different words. For example, if you hear the TV announcer say, “There is an 80%
chance of rain tomorrow,” you may tell a friend, “It will probably rain tomorrow.” This
last statement is a paraphrase. A paraphrase is a restatement of another person’s
ideas using your own words.

You can use paraphrasing in writing as well. Repeating the author’s ideas in your own
words shows that you truly comprehend the original ideas.

Three criteria for a good paraphrase

1. A good paraphrase has the same meaning as the original.

• All main ideas included
• No new ideas added

2. A good paraphrase is different enough from the original to be considered your

own writing.
• Uses own words or phrases that are different from the original
• Changes grammar, vocabulary and sentence structure from the original
as much as possible

3. A good paraphrase refers directly to (or cites) the original source.

• Includes the name of the author and/or the name of the source and the
year of publication

Paraphrase Example

Original excerpt:

The people in the country will support the new policy. It will bring a lot of good to
the poor.
(Benjamin Atkinson, 2005)

Paraphrase:

Atkinson (2005) states that the citizens shall be in favour of the new scheme as
it will benefit the less fortunate.

1
EXERCISE 1
Paraphrase the following sentences and add in-text citations.

1. At present, students are poor writers because they lack ideas and have poor
writing skills.
(Mark Hall & Joe Leemann, 2013)

______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

2. The clearing of rain forest has brought about catastrophic consequences to the
environment.
(Bryan Freeman, 2010)

______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

3. Since animals share many features with humans, scientists use animals to test
the safety and effectiveness of newly developed drugs before pilot testing them
on small groups of patients.
(Diana Smith, 2015)

______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

2
2. PARAPHRASING STRATEGIES

An effective paraphrase includes more than one of the following strategies. Read and
analyse the following examples of paraphrases. Take note of the various strategies
used to paraphrase the original excerpts. When you paraphrase, you may use more
than one of these strategies to paraphrase effectively.

1. Use synonyms

Original The U.S. government declared that the AIDS crisis poses a national
security threat. The announcement followed an intelligence report that
found high rates of HIV infection could lead to widespread political
destabilisation.

Sarah Marshall, 2015

Paraphrase The government of the United States announced that AIDS could harm
the nation's security. The government warned the population after an
important governmental study concluded that political problems could
result from large numbers of people infected with HIV (Marshall, 2015).

2. Change the part of speech of a word

Original Medical professor John Swanson says that global changes are
influencing the spread (noun) of disease.

James Fredrick, 2004

Paraphrase According to John Swanson, a professor of medicine, changes across

the globe are causing diseases to spread (verb) (Swanson, n.d, as cited
in Fredrick, 2004).

3
3. Change numbers and percentages to different forms

Original Minority groups in the United States have been hit hardest by the
epidemic. African Americans, who make up 13 percent of the U.S.
population, accounted for 46 percent of the AIDS cases diagnosed in
1998.

Barbara Lynn Jensen, 2000

Paraphrase The AIDS epidemic has mostly affected minorities in the United
States. For example, in 1998, less than 15 percent of the total
population was African, but almost half of the people diagnosed with
AIDS in the United States that year were African America (Jensen,
2000).

4. Change word order: this might include changing from active voice to passive
voice

Original Malaria kills more than one million people annually, the overwhelming
majority of them are children in sub-Saharan Africa.

Paul Angier, 2016

Paraphrase Every year, more than a million people are killed by malaria, and most
of the victims are children who live in sub-Saharan Africa (Angier, 2016).

5. Change the sentence structure and use different connecting words

Original Although only about one-tenth of the world’s population lives there,
sub-Saharan Africa remains the hardest hit region, accounting for
72 percent of the people infected with HIV during the year 2000.

Connor Bills, 2014

Paraphrase Approximately 10 percent of the world’s population resides in sub-

Saharan Africa. However, this area of the world has the highest
percentage of AIDS-related illnesses. In fact, in 2000, almost three-
fourths of the population had the HIV virus (Bills, 2014).

4
 ****Caution: When paraphrasing, do not change key terms, proper nouns or
technical terms*****

Original In the northeastern United States, people are building homes on the
edge of woods, where ticks that carry Lyme disease hitch rides on
deer. In addition, in Africa, hunters bring back the meat of animals that
scientists think may transmit Ebola, a usually fatal disease that causes
massive hemorrhaging in its victims.

Umbeke Yaya, 2013

Paraphrase In the United States, residential areas are being built near wooded areas
in the northeast. These areas are also the homes of ticks carrying Lyme
disease. Also, according to scientists, hunters in Africa kill animals that
may carry the Ebola virus, an often fatal virus that leads to serious
hemorrhaging (Yaya, 2013).

EXERCISE 2
Replace the words in bold with an appropriate synonym.

1. A computer science lecturer helped the students in winning the National Robotics
Competition 2019.
Synonym: _________________

2. Where is the meeting place for LAX discussion?

Synonym: _________________

3. There are a few important steps to consider when starting a new business.
Synonym: _________________

4. The student could not speak properly in public as she was terrified.
Synonym: _________________

5. Thilmany et al. (2015) have done research into the buying habits of consumers of
organic food.
Synonym: _________________

5
3. PARAPHRASING METHOD – CHUNKING METHOD

One way to paraphrase is to divide the original sentences into phrases or “chunk” and
concentrate on explaining the meaning of each chunk. A chunk is a group of words
that expresses a key idea in the excerpt or passage you are working with. This method
can be especially helpful when you are working with longer passages. Here is how
chunking works.

1. Read the original passage several times to develop an understanding of the

ideas in the passage.

2. Divide the passage into chunks by underlining the main ideas. As you divide the
passage, focus on phrases rather than on words.

3. Explain each chunk using your own words. Here you will need to use
paraphrasing techniques which will be discussed in the next section.

4. Combine these explanations into one or more sentences to create a

paraphrase. As you combine these chunks, you will need to think about how the
ideas are related to each other. Try to rearrange these chunks into a new order
for your paraphrase, which means change of sentence structure.

5. Cite the source of the original passage using proper in-text citation (APA style).

Example 1:

Original excerpt:

The poor students’ achievements surprised their teacher (chunk #1). She
attributed her students’ success (chunk #2) to their diligence and the
support given by the school. (chunk #3)

(Krashen Bell, 2004)

6
Explanation of chunks:

1. The teacher was astonished by her less fortunate pupils’ accomplishments

2. She explained that her pupils’ key factor of success
3. Were their hard work and the school’s assistance

Paraphrase:

Bell (2004) reports that the teacher was astonished by her less fortunate pupils’
accomplishments. She explained that her pupils’ key factor of success were
their hard work and the school’s assistance.

Example 2 shows a paraphrase in which the chunks have been arranged in an order
that is different from the original.

Example 2:

Original excerpt:

There is an element of sacrifice and obligation (chunk #1) as women are

expected to make many things secondary once the husband comes along,
(chunk #2) to devote their energies to him and his house and the building of
another family unit. (chunk #3)

(Penny Wark, 2003)

Explanation of chunks:

1. Women must give up time and energy for themselves

2. After women get married
3. Women are expected to(Penny
focus Wark, What
on taking Does
care of Life
theirTell Us About
husband, homeLove?,
and
children 2003)

Paraphrase:

After they get married, women must give up time and energy for
themselves because they are expected to focus on taking care of their
husband, home and children (Wark, 2003).

7
4. SUCCESSFUL vs UNSUCCESSFUL PARAPHRASES

Paraphrasing is often defined as putting a passage from an author into “your own
words.” But what are your own words? How different must your paraphrase be from
the original?

The excerpt below is taken from a book. Read and understand the ideas in the excerpt.

The original excerpt:

Statements that appear pleasing in one context may be inappropriate in another. For
example, women in business are usually uncomfortable if male colleagues or
superiors compliment them on their appearance. The remarks suggest that the
women are being regarded as decorative items rather than as contributing workers.

(John Maxwell, 2004)

The following two paraphrases are examples of unsuccessful paraphrases which are
plagiarised.

Word-for-Word Plagiarism

Statements that look pleasing in one context may be unsuitable in another. For
instance, women in business are usually uncomfortable if their male colleagues or
superiors praise them over their appearance. The remarks imply that the women are
being regarded as decoration but not as contributing workers.

Why is this plagiarism?

Here, the writer has not only “borrowed” Maxwell’s(Ashraf
work ,Learning Etiquette, 2004) but
with no acknowledgment,
the writer has also largely maintained the author’s method of expression and sentence
structure. The underlined words and phrases are directly copied from the source or
slightly changed in form.

Even if the writer had acknowledged Maxwell as the source of the content, the
language would be considered plagiarised because (Ashraf ,Learning
the writer Etiquette,
did not 2004)
include quotation
marks to indicate the phrases or words that come directly from Maxwell. However, if
there were quotation marks around all the “borrowed” phrases and words, the
paragraph would be so cluttered that it could be unreadable.

8
A Patchwork Paraphrase

Maxwell (2004) describes how women in business are usually uncomfortable

receiving compliments about their appearance from male colleagues or superiors. It
is inappropriate as they find the remarks suggesting women to be perceived as
decorative items rather than as contributing employees.

Why is this plagiarism?

This paraphrase is a patchwork composed of pieces in the original author’s language
(underlined) and pieces in the writer’s words, all rearranged into a new pattern.
Borrowed pieces of the original may be included but must be represented in quotation
marks. Thus, even though the writer acknowledges the source of the material, the
underlined phrases are falsely presented as the writer’s own.

A Successful and Legitimate Paraphrase

Paraphrase:

(Ashraf ,Learning Etiquette, 2004)

According to Maxwell (2004), businesswomen may feel uneasy upon receiving
ordinary, positive comments on how they look from male co-workers or supervisors.
He adds that to these women, the remarks carry an implied meaning and instead of
being thought of as productive employees, they are actually being viewed as
decoration. This shows that a genuine complimentary remark may be viewed as a
derogatory comment in certain situations.

Why is this a good paraphrase?

The writer has documented Maxwell’s material by making direct reference to the author
(in-text citation) and modifying Maxwell’s language by using synonyms and changing
the sentence structure.

(Ashraf ,Learning Etiquette, 2004)

9
EXERCISE 3
Paraphrase the following excerpts using the chunking method and the
paraphrasing techniques you have learned. Add an in-text citation. Follow the
instructions provided to help you paraphrase the excerpt.

Original excerpt:

Students frequently overuse direct quotation in taking notes, and as a result they
overuse quotations in the final research paper. Probably only about 10 percent of
the final manuscript should appear as directly quoted matter. Therefore, students
should strive to limit the amount of exact transcribing of source materials while taking
notes.

(James Lester, 2010)

1. How would you divide the sentences into smaller chunks? Underline each chunk.
As you divide the sentences into chunks, remember to focus on phrases rather than
single words.

2. Explain the meaning of each chunk using your own words. Use the paraphrasing
techniques you have learned.
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________

3. Using your explanations, write a paraphrase of the excerpt. You may arrange your
sentences in a different order than they appear in the original excerpt. As you put
the chunks together, remember to consider how they are related to each other.

________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________

10
EXERCISE 4

Original excerpt:

Of the more than 1000 bicycling deaths each year, three-fourths are caused by
head injuries. Half of those killed are school-age children. One study concluded
that wearing a bike helmet can reduce the risk of head injury by 85 percent. In
an accident, a bike helmet absorbs the shock and cushions the head.

(Bike Helmets: Unused Lifesavers, Consumer Reports Tribunal, May 2013)

1. How would you divide the sentences into smaller chunks? Underline each chunk.
As you divide the sentences into chunks, remember to focus on phrases rather than
single words.

2. Explain the meaning of each chunk using your own words. Use the paraphrasing
techniques you have learned.
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________

3. Using your explanations, write a paraphrase of the excerpt. You may arrange your
sentences in a different order than they appear in the original excerpt. As you put
the chunks together, remember to consider how they are related to each other.

________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________

11
EXERCISE 5

Paraphrase the following excerpt on parental roles in preventing cyberbullying.

Include an in-text citation according to the APA style and the citation format given.

Excerpt

Parents play an important role in the prevention of cyber bullying by banning

websites and setting age-appropriate limits for surfing the internet. Poor
parental monitoring is usually associated with a higher risk for young people to
be involved in both traditional and cyberbullying, whether as the bully or target.
It is also essential for the parents to be able to identify signs that indicate their
children are involved in cyberbullying.

Source Online article

Author National Bullying Prevention Centre

Publication date May 2013

Title Cyberbullying and Its Impact on Young People’s

Emotional Health and Well-being

Citation format Citation within the sentence

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

12
EXERCISE 6

Paraphrase the following excerpt on how green tea can help in weight loss.
Include an in-text citation according to the APA style and the citation format given.

Excerpt

Studies have shown that green tea can increase fat burning and help people
lose weight. It is loaded with antioxidants and various substances that are
beneficial for health. The active compounds in green tea can aid in this process
by enhancing the effects of some fat burning hormones. In addition, the
substances in the tea leaves can support weight loss efforts by reducing
appetite and boosting metabolism.

Source Journal article

Author Donna Levinson

Publication date June 2017

Title Effects of Green Tea on Human Health

Citation format Citation at the end of the sentence

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

13