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DEVELOPING A PERSONAL VISION TOWARD YOUR IDEAL SELF

[These are selected exercises that appeared in McKee, Boyatzis and

Johnston, Becoming a Resonant Leader: Develop Your Emotional
Intelligence, Renew Your Relationships, and Sustain Your Effectiveness,
Harvard Business School Press, Boston, Mass. 2008.]

Richard E. Boyatzis

We become what we dream. Creating a vision for the future has been
shown to produce Gold Medals in the Olympics and other feats of amazement.
By spending time in the realm of what is possible and hope, we are thinking, in
part, with our left prefrontal cortex and engage a multitude of positive emotions.
The exercises and questionnaires in this workbook are offered to assist
you in developing your personal vision. A personal vision is the deepest
expression of what we want in life. It is a description of our preferred future, not
a prediction of what will be. In this sense, your personal vision should describe
what you want out of life and work and what kind of person you want to be.
Instead of a forecast of what you think might be likely in the future, your personal
vision is a description of the future you dream about. A wide variety of exercises
and questionnaires are used to increase the likelihood that you are tapping into
many aspects of your dreams.
The exercises and questionnaires are best completed over a period of
time. Do not try to complete them in one or two sittings. Each should provoke
somewhat different reflections, thoughts, and feelings. If you are involved in a
loving and caring relationship, you may consider asking your spouse, partner, or
significant other to complete these exercises and questionnaires as you explore
your personal vision individually and then your personal vision as a couple or
family.

© Richard E. Boyatzis, 2005.

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SECTION I: DREAMS OF THE IDEAL FUTURE

I. List 27 or more things you’d like to do or experience before you die.

1. To live in my own house
2. To swim in my own swimming poo
3. To drive my own car
4. To have my own clinic
5. Win in lottery
6. Have my own business
7. Bungee jumping
8. Sky diving
9. Buy my own island
10. Go to Korea
11. Meet EXO
12. Climb to mount everest
13. Invent a potion that makes people invisible
14. Buy a house for my parents
15. Cross the pacific ocean
16. Grab everything in mall for free
17. To attend my niece’ graduation in college
18. To attend my daughter’s graduation in college
19. To renovate my grandparents’ house
20. Win the crown to a beauty pageant
21. Learn how to speak Korean, Chinese, French and Japanese
22. Finish a triathlon
23. Help someone in their expenses in their education
24. Go shopping with my niece and pay everything what she wanted
25. Experience playing in snow
26. Try a different profession
27. Fly my own Airplane

What themes appear in your list above?

-helping my family
-securing my family’s future
-adventure
-giving happiness
-establishing my goals
-trying different things
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I.2. You just won the super lottery, and received 50 million US
dollars or euros after tax, how would your life and work change?

My life and work don’t change that much. I will just buy a house for me, for
my parents, have my grandparents’ house renovated, then I will also buy a house
for my brother’s family. I will also invest stocks in themarket. I will have my own
clinic. I still wanted to work as a doctor even though I have a lot of money. Maybe
the only thing that will change if I win the lottery is the mode of transpo whenever
I go out I wont need to commute anymore since I will buy a car. In terms of the
way of living nothing much will change. I wanted to have a simple life together
with my family.

I.3 It is fifteen years from today. You are living your ideal life. You are living in
a location that you have always dreamed about. You are living with the people
with whom you most want to be living. If work is part of your ideal image, you are
doing the type and amount of work you love.

A NETCAM (i.e., network camera the size of a button) is attached to your

shirt or blouse. What images would we see in a video stream of your day? Where
would you be? What are you doing? Who else is there?

Its Monday and I woke up, I will prepare breakfast for my family. After eating
together. I need to prepare to go to work. When I got home from work I will take a
bath then prepare our dinner. After dinner we’ll all go to our sala to have a short
bonding time and watch television together.

When its weekend we’ll go to park so we can relax our mind and body.
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I.4 Taking a Fantasy Job

This is an opportunity to imagine yourself doing the kind of work or jobs

that you sometimes fantasize, or wonder, “What would it be like if I were doing
X?”

Make believe the following three events have occurred:

1) You enter a new machine called a Neurophysiological Remaker. A few

minutes inside of the machine, using genetic reengineering and non-invasive
neural implants, gives you the body, knowledge, and capability to do any job--
and do it well;

2) You are given the financial resources or certifications (i.e., licenses)

based on your new capability to do any job well; and

3) For one year, you are free of all personal, social, and financial
responsibilities in your current or desired life.

List five to ten jobs that you would love to do or try. Consider a wide
variety of jobs like those in other countries, jobs in sports, music, medicine,
politics, agriculture, religion, Consider jobs you have heard about or seen in the
movies or on television.

1. President

2. Judge

3. Lawyer

4. Agent

5. Actress

6. Writer

7. Ceo of a company

8. Owner and cashier of a convenience store

9. Investigator
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Choose the three to five of the jobs in your list that most interest you or seem the
most exciting or rewarding. Describe each of them below, including what you will enjoy
or look forward to the most about each job.

1. President – I wanted to try how hard it is to manage a whole country. And I would
like to share my experiences to other people. So that if the whole country knows
how hard it is to be a president then maybe they will have a compassion and
empathy for the president.
2. Lawyer – I wanted to experience defending someone in court. May it be a
criminal or an innocent person.
3. Investigator- I think it’s hard but exciting to be an investigator. Whenever there
was a crime scene, I will investigate and look for clues what happened.

Sometimes a person describes a “fantasy” job as one they really wish and want to
do. Other times, the job represents some interesting or exciting activities or
conditions. In other words, sometimes, it is not the job that is the fantasy but some
aspect of it or condition under which the job is done. As you read your
descriptions of the three to five jobs you would most like to do or try, do you
notice themes are patterns? How are these different jobs similar? Are there
activities (such as being outside) that are part of each? Are there conditions of the
work (such as working with a team) that are part of each? Are there consequences
(such as being famous) that are a part of each? List those themes or patterns
below.

A work that uses your mind and intelligence

Being a manager
Rich
Exciting and interesting
Involves other peoples life
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SECTION II: MY LEGACY

II.1 My Legacy

What would you wish to have as your legacy in life? In other words, what will
remain or continue as a result of you having lived and worked all of these years?

I wanted people to learn to be generous all the time. I wanted other people to remember
me as a generous person and to remember that if you can share something try to share it.
Because it makes people happy even though it is a small thing, they will never forget that
once in their life someone helped them. It will give them a glimpse of hope that there still
a lot of people who are kind and giving.

II.2 My Obituary

At your funeral, some gets up and gives a eulogy that makes you feel warm and
proud. What would be elements of this eulogy?

I am a loving family member, that in times of sadness I was there with them. That I
helped them atleast once in their life. I made them laugh. I comforted them.
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SECTION III: WHAT DO I VALUE? HOW DO I VALUE?

My Values

The objective of this exercise is to help you clarify your values, or beliefs. Since
our values and beliefs change from time to time, after reflection or certain events, it is
useful to review and consider our values and beliefs regularly. This exercise is adapted
from numerous instruments used to assess one’s values based on the ideas of Milton
Rokeach, described in The Nature of Human Values, New York: Free Press, 1973.

Attached is a list of 49 values, beliefs, or personal characteristics for your

consideration. The following steps should help you identify which are most important to
you as guiding principles in your life. You might find it useful to determine degrees of
importance by considering whether you would be upset or elated if your present state or
condition in life regarding a particular value would be significantly reduced or increased.
Sometimes, you might find it helpful to consider two values at a time, asking yourself
about the relative importance of one over the other.

Whatever technique or method you use:

1) First, please identify the fifteen or so values that are most important to you, and
mark them with an asterisk or circle them;

2) Second, from this list of fifteen or so, identify the ten that are the most
important to you and write them on the lines on the following page;

3) Third, from this list of ten, identify the five that are the most important to you;
and

4) Fourth, rank each of the five from “1” being the most important value to you to
“5” being the least important of these five important values.

If you would find it helpful, you may want to rank the next five values (i.e., the
“other five” from the list generated in step #2 above).
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List of Values, Beliefs, or Desirable Personal Characteristics

ACHIEVEMENT (a sense of accomplishment, success, or contribution)

*AMBITIOUS (aspiring to promotion or progress within career)
*ADVENTURE (new and challenging experiences)
AFFECTION (love, caring)
BEAUTY (aesthetics in nature, art, or life)
*BROAD MINDED (open-minded)
CHEERFUL (joyful)
*CLEAN (tidy, sanitary)
COMPETENT (capable, effective)
*COMPETITIVENESS (winning, taking risks)
COMFORTABLE LIFE (prosperous or easy life)
COOPERATION (working well with others, teamwork)
COURAGEOUS (standing up for beliefs)
CREATIVITY (being imaginative, innovative)
DISCIPLINED (self-controlled, restrained)
*ECONOMIC SECURITY (steady, adequate income)
EQUALITY (egalitarianism in life, equal opportunity for all)
EXCITING LIFE (a stimulating or challenging life)
FAME (being famous, well known)
*FAMILY HAPPINESS (nuclear and/or extended family that is happy)
*FAMILY SECURITY (nuclear and/or extended family that is safe)
FORGIVING (willing to forget a judgment of others)
*FREEDOM (independence, autonomy, free choice, self-reliant)
FRIENDSHIP (close relationships, companionship)
HAPPINESS (contentedness)
*HEALTH (being physically and mentally well)
HELPFULNESS (assisting others, improving society)
INNER HARMONY (being at peace with yourself)
*INTEGRITY (honesty, sincerity, genuineness)
INVOLVEMENT (participating with others, belonging)
INTELLECTUAL (conceptual, abstract, or symbolic)
LOGICAL (rational)
*LOVING (affectionate, tender)
LOYALTY (duty, respectfulness, obedience)
*MATURE LOVE (sexual and spiritual intimacy)
NATIONAL SECURITY (protection from attack)
ORDER (tranquility, stability, conformity)
PEACE (a world at peace, without war or conflict)
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT (personal growth)
*PLEASURE (fun, laughs, an enjoyable, leisurely life-style)
POLITE (courteous, well-mannered)
POWER (control, authority, influence over others)
RECOGNITION (social recognition, respect from others, status)
RELIGION (strong religious beliefs)
RESPONSIBLE (dependable, reliable)
SALVATION (eternal peace)
SELF-RESPECT (self-esteem, pride, sense of personal identity)
WEALTH (making money, getting rich)
*WISDOM (understanding life, discovering knowledge)
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My Ten Most Important Values:

1. Integrity

2. Wisdom

3. Family Happiness

4. Family Security

5. Clean

6. Mature love

7. Freedom

8. Loving

9. Economic security

10. Health

My Five Most Important Values:

Most Important Value Rank #1 Integrity

Next Most Important Value Rank #2 Wisdom

Next Most Important Value Rank #3 Family Security

Next Most Important Value Rank #4 Loving

Next Most Important Value Rank #5 Economic Security