TO: Nancy Myers

FROM: Steven Head

DATE: January 14, 2022

SUBJECT: APLED-Chapter 5 Achieving Audience Involvement

Chapter 5
Achieving Audience Involvement

1. Revise the following sentences to achieve audience involvement through personalization and
by adding pronouns and names.

a. The company will require further information before processing this request.

The financial department will require further information before processing this request.

b. It has been decided that a new procedure must be implemented to avoid further mechanical
failures.

General Motors has decided that a new safety procedure must be implemented to avoid further
mechanical failures in their vehicles.

c. The department supervisor wants to extend heartfelt thanks for the fine efforts expended.

Janice, the department supervisor, wants to extend her heartfelt thanks for the fine efforts
expended by employees.

d. I think you have done a great job. I want you to know that you have surpassed this month’s
quota by 12 percent. I believe I can speak for the entire department by saying thank you.

I think you’ve done a great job John! I want you to know that you’ve surpassed this month’s
quota by 12 percent. I believe I can speak for the entire sales department by saying thank you.

e. If the computer overloads, simultaneously press Reset and Control. Wait for the screen
command. If it reads “Data Recovered,” continue operations. If it reads “I/O Error,” call the
computer resource center.

If the computer overloads when Cindy is online, she can simultaneously press reset and control.
Wait for the screen commands. If it reads “Data Recovered,” continue operations. If it reads “I/O
Error,” call the computer resource center.
2. Revise the following sentences to achieve reader involvement and benefit, using positive words
and pronouns.

a. We cannot lay your cable until you sign the attached waiver.

We can lay your cable and have you up and running once you sign the attached waiver.

b. John, don’t purchase the wrong program. If we continue to keep inefficient records, our
customers will continue to complain.

John, great job on finding and purchasing the program. If we continue to keep such precise
records, our customers will continue to give us praise.

c. You have not paid your bill yet. Failure do so might result in termination of services.

You have paid all your bills on time. Doing so, you have earned a discount in services.

d. If you incorrectly quote a paraphrase, you will receive an F on the assignment.

When you correctly quote a paraphrase, you receive extra points on the assignment.

e. Your team has lost 6 of their last 12 games.

Our team has won 6 of our last 12 games.