TOPIC: HEALTH AND FITNESS

WRITING ESSAY: CAUSE AND SOLUTION

9AE1

DRAFT 1

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness
are decreasing.

What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve
them?

Write an essay of about 200 words to state your ideas. Give evidences, examples and reasons for your
answer.

(1) Nguyễn Khánh Vy

"In my point of view, I think that there are several causes that can cause this issue and there can be also
solved by cooperation between people in the city and the state government of each country.

It’s true to say that people nowadays are often eating fast food rather than people in the past who are
often making fresh food and sometimes they do not have time for cooking because they have more and
more activities to do rather than cooking, such as they have to rush their children to school in the
morning. As a result, people are not able to focus on their healthy diet nowadays. Moreover, the latter
negatively affects health as well. Due to the rush lifestyle, the individuals do not spend their time for
exercise. Unfortunately, they have a lot of facilities, for example, cars or elevators, to decrease the
activity using their own energy. Therefore, both factors combine to make bad behaviours for health.

Firstly, people should avoid unhealthy food if they had the chance or time to choose. Another solution
is a lifestyle modification associated with routine activities. The individuals are able to use the vehicles
or facilities which give chances for them to exercise. For instance, riding a bicycle to work, or using
stairs instead of lifts." (216w)

- No conclusion?

- You should make an outline before writing.

- Identify the main ideas first.

(2) Đàm Minh Ngọc

Currently in our lives, besides environmental issues or political issues, we have many more issues that
need to be concerned about our human health. The hottest issue that needs to be solved right now is
obesity. According to the research, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health
and fitness are decreasing. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), adults, except
pregnant women, if they have a body mass index (BMI) between 25 and 29.9, are considered
overweight. If BMI is greater than or equal to 30 then it is called obese. Obesity will lead to the risk of
a number of other dangerous diseases such as cardiovascular disease, blood pressure, diabetes,
digestive diseases and some types of cancer. Recent studies have shown that people with obesity will
have a significantly reduced life expectancy and quality of life. One of the leading causes is an
unhealthy, inappropriate diet. A lot of people tend to eat what they like or eat as much as they want,
which is very unhealthy. People who have a diet rich in high-energy foods, foods high in fat, sugar or
salt, processed foods, fast foods or carbonated drinks, etc. will lead to excess energy. and accumulate,
gradually becoming overweight and obese. In addition, being inactive also causes obesity. People who
are inactive have a very high risk of being overweight and obese, especially in the buttocks, thighs and
abdomen. So, to avoid obesity, we should avoid eating fast foods, sweets, etc. Avoid salty foods, eat
late, and eat foods that are low in calories, like fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Eat small meals,
starting with a full breakfast. Eat 3 main meals and 2 snacks per day. Especially, we must work out
regularly to keep fit and stay healthy body. In conclusion, we should change the imbalanced lifestyle
with a healthier lifestyle to have an ideal life. (315w)
(3) Nguyễn Vi Bằng

"First of all, speaking of the reasons for the increase in average weight in countries and the decrease in
health levels, it is certainly necessary to mention the growth of the fast-food industry. Although fast
foods are convenient, quick, and delicious, they bring a lot of harm to the body. These include heart
disease, diabetes, problems with the circulatory system, and especially obesity. In addition to the food
aspect, another reason for the increase in obesity rates in countries is the lack of exercise in each
individual. Most adults today often do not spend much time exercising, although exercise brings many
good health benefits. The lack of self-training together with an unhealthy lifestyle such as often staying
up late, alcohol makes the health level increasingly decrease.

So what do we need to do to solve this problem? About the development of the fast-food industry, the
government should limit the advertising of fast food companies or apply other forms of sugar tax
collection for businesses and people. In addition, children should be educated from a young age about
nutrition, healthy foods and the bad effects of fast food on our bodies. As for the lack of exercise of
each individual, I think local governments should organize annual sports activities, actively encourage
people to exercise and build exercise areas for them." (219w)

Good solutions.
Remember to include 3 parts: introduction – body – conclusion.
Avoid repetition with “exercise/fast-food industry/obesity” for example.
(4) Nguyễn Hoàng Long

"In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are
decreasing. I will discuss some of the reasons for these problems.

Firstly, a lot of people prefer to consume fast food outlets nowadays. It comes from the fast-food
restaurants that serve foods that contain fat and sugar, and as a result, those who frequently consume
the food get overweight. Secondly, it is a fact business competition is getting tougher due to
globalization, and people have to work for longer hours.

They should avoid consuming fast food. They should consume more the healthier like vegetables or
fruit. They could change the way they commute from driving a car to riding a bicycle. It is not just
making the body healthier, but bike riding also reduces air pollution as well.

To conclude, both people and government should work together to address the issue of obesity. It will
not just reduce their weight, but also an increase life with greater health and fitness. " (169w)
(5) Phan Nguyễn Linh Dung
People's average weight is rising in several countries, but their health and fitness levels are declining.

There are a variety of causes for these issues, but the first one is improper eating. People who
consume a high-energy diet, foods heavy in fat, sugar, or salt, processed meals, fast foods, carbonated
beverages, and so on will accumulate extra energy and become overweight or obese over time. The
solution to this is to apply a scientific diet, limit foods rich in energy. It is best to eat fruits and
vegetables. Stay away from cakes, carbonated drinks and processed foods. Exercise for at least 30
minutes a day.

The second reason for obesity and poor health is inactivity. Because each person's body utilizes it to
load food and produce energy in the process of metabolism, people who are sedentary are at a very
high risk of getting overweight or obese, especially in the buttocks, thighs, and belly. If this energy is
not used, extra fat will build, accumulate in the body, leading to obesity. Experts advise that we
improve our physical activity and avoid eating late at night, lying down, or sitting shortly after eating.

Obesity has several reasons, but if you follow a proper diet and work hard and exercise, you will
almost certainly avoid being overweight or obese.

Good organization of your essay.

Avoid repetition with “obesity/ overweight/ energy” for example.

Fix some word choice mistakes.

(6) Đàm Minh Phương

In many countries, the problem of being overweight is becoming quite serious, as better living
conditions and the development of technology make people no longer physically active. That affects
human health because being overweight causes many diseases such as obesity, blood fat, fatty liver,
diabetes, gout,... Not only affects physical health but also affects mental life. Being overweight makes
you look chubby and disproportionate, so you won't be confident in front of others about your
appearance. It also makes it difficult for you to be physically active due to your heavy body. Being
overweight is mainly caused by being inactive and eating too much, leading to excess calories. Life is
advanced so people can become lazy. Some people think that the more you eat, the better, but are lazy
to exercise, leading to muscle not developing but also excess fat. The ways to deal with this problem
are to eat a balanced diet, eat a lot of fiber and drink a lot of water, and limit carbohydrates and fats.
Exercise every day and work on time. (176w)

Divide your essay into 3 parts.

2 parts in the body: Causes – Measures.
Add more reasons, examples.
Should use connectors between each 2 ideas.
(7) Nguyễn Ngọc Trâm Anh

Health-related issues is unquestionably a serious problem that has yet to be tackled by any country in
the world. With the rapid growth of fast-food restaurants and the availability of home delivery,
humanity has recorded a considerable increase in people's average weight along with a marked decline
in degrees of strength and activeness. In this essay, I shall consider the main causes of this problem and
suggest some solutions.

First and foremost, the availability of convenience food. In today's modern society, it is not unusual for
one to find a supermarket offering different varieties of packaged products. Besides, many restaurants
also provide takeaway service, making it easier for busy people to eat without having to spend time in
the kitchen. Secondly, many are too occupied making money to be able to spare time for exercising.
The amount of fat in one's body gradually increases while their physical agility decreases as time goes
by. Consequently, health problems such as heart attacks or obesity are more likely to occur, even in
youngsters.

However, there are some viable methods that can cure this issue, cooking home-made meals, for
instance. As most prepackaged foods have low nutritional value, eating at home can improve the
problem of weight. Additionally, preparing healthy dishes do not cause as much as one thought it
might be. Furthermore, the government should encourage people to do exercises by opening local
gyms that are free or have a low entrance fees. Therefore, despite having little time, they still can
discover opportunities to keep fit.

To sum up, instant meals and the lack of time are the two major reasons for the increase in average
weight. Nevertheless, this problem can still be solved by the government policy and a change in one's
eating habits.

Good essay.

Pay attention to some word choice mistakes.

(8) Nguyễn Phương Thảo

Nowadays, with many technological advancements and lifestyle changes, humanity faces a new
problem, obesity. Studies show that in some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and
their health condition and fitness levels are decreasing. This essay will discuss the causes of these
problems and their solutions.

There are several reasons that lead to these issues. Firstly, the consumption of junk food has
skyrocketed over the years. With the rise of many fast-food brands, many people prefer to consume
those food containing a high amount of fat and sugar, as a result, they will get overweight. Secondly,
most people nowadays live a busy but still sedentary lifestyle. They have to wake up early to get to
work and get back home late at night, which leaves them no time to do exercises. Similarly, these
people will also show signs of obesity and other health conditions.

To resolve these problems, these are some simple steps that people can take. One of them is to have a
balanced diet including fruits, vegetables, meats and avoid fast food. Moreover, you could change the
mode of transportation by trying to change from driving a car to work to riding a bicycle or walking.
Not only does this activity helps in burning fat, but it also helps the environment.

Many problems with bodyweight and health conditions today are mostly caused by people's unhealthy
life choices. To fix these problems, people should be more careful in their diet and avoid an inactive
lifestyle.

Quite a good essay.

Spend time revising your essay after writing to check grammar or word choice mistakes.
(9) Trần Hoàng Minh

Getting overweighted is a serious problem that affect our health. It decreases our movement and
agility, it harms our bone due to heavy weight, it increase blood pressure, heart disease, heart stroke,
breathing problems and it also reduce your productivity in work, too. Firstly, the main cause of this is
the unhealthy diet, a diet which the calories intake is really large (average person eats 2000 calories a
day while obesed people eat 6000-10000 calories a day). The diet is also contained too many unhealthy
food like junk food, sweets, deep-fried food … all of those contain so much oil and calories, if you
don’t burn enough calories it will become fat. Secondly, the next cause is not exercising, exercises help
your muscle and your body move, which use up the protein and fat in the body, if you know how to
work out properly, you may gain your muscle, your agility, but some people don’t do it, maybe they
are too lazy or they don’t have time, so the fat just keep staying in your belly . Another cause is our
gene, there are many different genes, so some people may eat a lot, but they don’t get fat, the others
just eat a little but still gaining weight. So to solve this, you need a healthy diet, which greatly reduce
junk food and sweets, add more vegetables, fruit, nuts, protein from meat and decrease the calories
intake overall. You will need to exercise at least 15 minutes a day, too. But if you don’t get the result
yet, don’t be pessimistic. (262w)

Should learn how to organize the sentences, where to start or stop sentence.
Divide your essay into 3 parts: introduction – body – conclusion.
Avoid using a “request” expression like “don’t…”
(10) Nguyễn Tuấn Minh

Now in a few countries the average weight of people is increasing. There are many people who are
obese. One of the main reasons is that they eat too much or often eat fast food. In fast food contains a
lot of oil and fat. The solution to this problem is that they have to limit eating fast food and instead eat
a lot of vegetables and fruits and need to exercise. In addition, sleep time is also very important.
Getting enough sleep will help keep healthy and balanced. They exercise, eat, and get enough sleep to
help them stay healthy. You can start doing gym or yoga to help you keep fit. If you are a friendly
person who likes to play with friends, then you should try playing soccer or basketball. All exercises
will help you feel more relaxed and healthy. If you don't know where to start, you should see a gym
coach. They are the ones who can help you. But you still need to try because losing weight or
exercising is very difficult. (178w)

What is the second reason for obesity? It’s not clear enough.
Fix your grammar mistakes.
Divide your essay into 3 parts: introduction – body and conclusion.
Add more solution. You have only one: Doing exercise.
(11) Vũ Ngọc Diễm Chi

From my point of view, there are many reasons why people's weight gradually increasing and there are
also many ways to overcome it. Firstly, the main cause of body weight gain is that people are too
inactive. This means that, because of the allure of junk food, people become fat. For example, if you
eat too much junk food at once without exercising or playing sports, your body weight will gradually
increase and the odds of being overweight are very high. Secondly, is the number of meals in the day is
too much. Because many people report that thin people usually eat less than fat people. So there are
many different ways to avoid obesity. You can do exercise, play sports or do aerobics. But for me, the
best way to lose weight is to exercise and have a balanced diet. In conclusion, obesity in everyone is
inevitable, so everyone needs to be conscious to protect their health, do not be enchanted by junk food
ads.

3 parts: introduction – body – conclusion

Revise grammar and word choice mistakes.

(12) Trần Nhật Vy

In some countries, people's average weights are increasing, and their level of health conditions, fitness
levels are declining. This essay will discuss the causes of these problems and measures that could be
taken.

Nowadays, there are advanced machines that could increase the productivity of producing food,
therefore there is more food available. Also, on average, people can afford more food, so they eat
more, resulting in gaining weight. In addition, fast-food chains are growing rapidly many people
choose to eat it regularly, so they gain weight because fast food is high in fat and sugar.

In the past, many jobs required manual labor, so it counts as exercise. But nowadays, a lot of jobs don't
need to have physical work and a lot of times it is mentally exhausting after a long day of work, so
many people don't have enough exercise.

There are several measurements to solve this problem. People could start eating a smaller portion of
food. They can also avoid consuming food that is high in fat and sugar. They should start eating more
fruits and vegetables. Also, people can change the way they commute to work if possible by walking
or cycling to be more active. People could break their exercise into smaller parts, so it doesn't seem
tiring and time-consuming.

In conclusion, our world is changing which influences people's lifestyles. Therefore, it is crucial to
change our habits to avoid gaining weight, exercise more and be healthier.

Should learn to divide your ideas into sentences.

Learn to rewrite sentences more often.
(13) Nguyễn Hoàng Bảo Ngọc

Many countries are struggling with the increase of average weight and decrease of health and fitness
levels. These problems come from many different reasons, one part is government faults, but nearly all
of them are because of ourselves! Nowadays, fast food is so popular and people eat it regularly as the
main meal. Even when they know it's not good and unhealthy, also costs much and contains a high
amount of calories. But we can easily see that it tastes so good and easy to buy with plenty of kinds
and brands such as Lotteria, KFC, McDonald with fried chicken; KoiThe', The Alley, Gongcha with
milk tea, so a lot of people are still choosing it! Besides eating habits, exercising and daily routine also
affect. When technology gives us so much entertainment and helps us do things easily, people are
getting lazier and lazier. Our daily activities also changed with bad habits like sleeping late, no
breakfast,... To solve these harsh problems, we need to change ourselves from every little thing . Just
calm yourselves and think carefully before eating fast food or convince yourselves to do exercise more
than yesterday a little bit. You get the benefits yourselves, not anyone else, so stop harming yourselves
as soon as possible! All the world will change from the individuals!

3 parts: introduction – body – conclusion

Read more so that you can have better word choice.
Revise your essay after writing to fix your grammar mistakes yourself.
(14) Mai Hoàng Yến

In some nations, people's total physical fitness and average body weight have altered. In my opinion,
this is primarily due to our unhealthy lifestyles and less fitness activities. As a result, we must come up
with a strategy to address this problem.

To begin with, the main cause of the rising weight-related difficulties is the way we live. These days,
people are working in jobs that demand little or no physical exercise, leading in fat deposition in the
muscles and weight increase. For example, most people opt for white-collar occupations that mostly
entail working with computers and software which require them to sit at least six to seven hours a day.
Moreover, leisure activities have declined dramatically. People used to take part in sports such as
cricket and other activities in the past. In the present life, the majority prefers to spend their free time
in more relaxed methods. Even if they enjoy playing, they frequently select indoor sports that do not
require lots of physical effort.

To address this issue, the state government plays a vital role in educate people in the country about
proper healthy eating and exercise. Besides that, they should provide public gyms or exercise centers,
as well as promote some health policy measures. However, health for all residents of the city should
begin with the individual. Citizens, for example, should eat nutritious foods and exercise at least three
days a week.

To summarize, I believe that accomplishing an active lifestyle is a significant step in addressing health-
related issues.
(15) Lê Quang Minh

It is a fact that in some countries, people's average weight is rising while their health and fitness levels
are declining. This tendency is attributal to a host of reasons. Although there will undoubtedly be some
negative consequences of this trend, this essay can assist you in mitigating these potential issues.

There are two underlying reasons as to why many people become overweight. First and foremost, the
burst of obesity results from people’s behavior in daily life, especially children. Nowadays, children
have a tendency to enjoy fast foods that are lots of sugar, lack nutrition. It is no doubt that these foods
affect their health adversely, particularly their uncontrolled weight gain. Secondly, many people devote
a significant amount of time to sitting or lying still while using smart devices such as phones and
televisions. Inactivity during the day prevents you from burning calories from the food you've
consumed. That gradually causes you to gain weight indefinitely.

There are several actions that could be taken to solve the problems. First, choose a balanced and
nutritous meal for yourself. Nutrition is extremely important, accounting for 80 percent of how you can
maintain your health and fitness. Another essential step that should be taken is to encourage people to
go outside and participate in social activities. Being active and exercising every day will help you burn
a lot of calories during the day, making it easier to lose weight.

In conclusion, there are numerous factors contributing to the high rate of obesity cases. Nevertheless,
there are measures that can be taken to deal with the problems regarding overweight.

Quite a good essay.

Fix some grammar mistakes.
Avoid using requesting form.
(16) Nguyễn Bảo Hiền

In today life, the normal weight of people is opposite with the number of people that are heathy and
fitness. From my point of view, I believe that there are many causes of these problems and solutions
for them.

Firstly, junk food is one of the causes, it contains a lot of grease and it easier to get addicted. Obesity
serves a perfect example for junk food effects. It also leads to some diseases like heart disease.
Furthermore, emotional factors also caused raising their weights. It have been proved that stress or sad
can make you eat more. Studies also have found that the less people sleep, the more likely they are to
have overweight or obesity. Finally, people usually gain weight when they eat more calories than they
burn through activity.

Otherwise, the solution for these problems is also importance. Most of us are in the habit of going to
the gym for bodybuilding or fat reduction. But it is necessary to be active like walking, running,
swimming, biking,.... Besides, drinking enough water is a good way to control your weight. Lastly,
limiting the consumption of sugar, sweetened beverage,.. that you eat daily.

In conclusion, to reduce the average weight of people, we have to act in the right and healthy ways.

Word choice
(17) Đặng Khánh Chi

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are
decreasing. There must be undeniable reasons of this problem.

The first reason is the excess consuming of fast food, sweets and fizzy drinks. We all know fast food
and sweets contain a lot of sugar and fat; and about fizzy drinks, they contain phosphoric and citric
acid which may be harmful for the body. All these dangerous substances can lead to obesity, diabetes,
heart and live diseases and more.

The second reason is their lack in exercising. When we exercise, we are burning a huge amount of fat
and calories; we gain strength and energy; we can become taller than our past selves too . If we don't
exercise, the body fat can't be burn fast and so, will accumulate and make us fatter. What's more
dangerous is that people often die due to obesity more than starving.

The third reason is laziness. No matter how little you eat, if you still don't exercise then the body fat
will still build up and cause obesity.

There are more reasons of the increase of average weight and the decrease of levels of health and
fitness but these are the three most obvious ones.

WHAT ABOUT MEASURES?

(18) Lương Nhật Minh

In some countries, the average height of people is increasing and their levels of health fitness are
decreasing. The main cause of this problem is the sale of junk food is increasing, this is due to people
eating habits and advertising over the street. People nowadays tend to be busy every time, fast food
provide them enough energy and also time efficiency for the whole day, however fast food is very
likely to be unhealthy, due to the ingredients include inside the food itself. It contains a lot of not
necessary nutrition for the body. This problem is very serious but can be fixed through advertising and
media consumptions to help people known about the downside of fast food and obesity. (121w)

3 parts: introduction – body – conclusion

Need more examples – reasons – explanations.

Grammar and word choice mistakes.

(19) Đỗ Minh Hoàng Harry

In several nations, people are becoming more obesed and are exercising less and less, adversely
affecting their own health. In this essay, I will explain the reasons and solutions towards this problem.

One of the main reasons which leads to people’s decreasing health and increasing weight is the lack of
time for exercising. People tend to spend too much time for other things like work, social medias and
do not care much about exercising, which is extremely bad for their health and fitness. Secondly,
people consumes too much fast food such as french fries or fried chicken. According to data published
in JAMA 2018, nearly 40% of adults over the age of 20 are then obesed, and the numbers are still
spiking up.

To tackle this problem, people have to increase high-intensity exercises such as gym, sprinting,
sporting… These exercises are highly effective in burning calories and fat. Another important solution
is a balanced diet. Foods are divided into 4 main groups, namely fruits and vegetables, carbohydrates,
proteins and fats. A balanced diet contains 40% of fruits and vegetables, 25% of carbohydrates (bread,
beans…) 25% of proteins (eggs, fishes…) and 10% of fat.

In short, the reasons for people’s increasing weight and decreasing health are little exercise and fast
food. And to solve this problem, we have to increase high-intensity exercise and have a balanced diet.