True Love Waits

Long Distance Relationship

I. INTRODUCTION
About Us
• In a relationship for 3 years.
• Long Distance Relationship for 2 years (pandemic time)
• Got married October 2021.
II. OBJECTIVES
At the end of this session, you will be able to:
1. Discover the benefits of waiting;
2. Discover the disadvantages of not waiting;
3. Pick up some tips on keeping pure while waiting.
III. MOTIVATION

Small game
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IV. LESSON PROPER

BENEFITS OF WAITING
1. Pursue your passions, hobbies, studies, skills, etc.
What are your hobbies now? If you don’t have a hobby yet, what kind of hobby do
you want to have? Singing, dancing, editing videos, taking photos, reading, painting,
drawing, making crafts.
A 2015 study published in The Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that pursuing
your passion both lowers stress and contributes to greater happiness over all.
Researchers found that participants who engaged in hobbies were 34 percent less
stressed and 18 percent less sad during the activities, as well as for some time after.
Volunteer work on campus and in the community also can help you develop skills
and connect with issues, pursuits, and people who inspire you and evoke passion in
a new cause.
Without having a hobby, your life may become boring, seem demanding, and end up in an
unhealthy cycle. While having a routine is great because it is so easy, incorporating a hobby
into your life can add excitement and spark that it may need to increase your personal
satisfaction. This will then flow over to your work performance and ability to maintain a
healthy family and other relationships.
1. Hobbies are a great stress reliever.
2. Hobbies encourage you to take a break.
3. Hobbies offer new challenges and experiences.
4. Hobbies allow you to explore yourself and your talents.
5. Hobbies can help improve your career.
6. Hobbies can provide additional income.
7. Hobbies prevent you from wasting time and creating bad habits.
8. Hobbies help you grow spiritually.
9. Hobbies improve your self-confidence and self-esteem.
10. Hobbies help ward off depression.
11. Hobbies allow you to meet new people.
12. Hobbies help you become more patient.
13. Hobbies make you more interesting.

“So, flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those
who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” – 2 Timothy 2:22

2. Avoid permanent heartaches to you, your parents, and future husband/ wife.

If we rush into relationships while we are still young, we are mostly giving our permission
for others to hurt us.

Puppy Love

a. Puppy love is a rush of different neurotransmitters that make us feel “in

love”. It's like a natural high that, over time, dissipates. During this period,
we tend to focus on the here-and-now rather than the future. True
compatibility is more than just good sex or that feeling of attraction.

“Puppy Love leads to a dog’s life.”

Time Shows True Colors

a. Once that endorphin rush dissipates if there are no common interests,

relationship goals, etc- it won't last. It takes a while to actually get to know
someone, and when you rush into a relationship you might as well be
playing chicken on the highway.
 LOVE LUSTS
Love is person-centered and God- Lust is pleasure-centered
centered
Love does not depend on physical Lust depends a lot on it
appearance
Love is long-lasting Lust is momentary
Love desires long-term Lust is a no-strings attached transaction
commitment
Love sees the person as a partner Lust sees the other person as a sexual object.
Love builds Lust destroys
Love gives Lust takes
Love produces joy Lust produces thrill
Love waits Lust is now
Love respects Lust gets disappointed
Love sacrifices Lust seeks for other means
Love involves trust Lust does not

1. Love is person-centered; lust is pleasure-centered.

With love, fulfillment comes from giving what you have for the betterment of a person. You
are fulfilled when you see that person happy and doing good in life.

With lust, you just want to be with the person for the gratification of your needs. This
fulfillment comes from committing sensual activities to quench your sexual desires. You
feel fulfilled when you experience pleasure through these acts together with that person.

2. Love does not depend on physical appearance; lust depends a lot on it.
Even if the person you love gets fat or s/he grows old and is not as good looking as when
you first met, you would not think of leaving because of it. Your affection for your partner is
not skin-deep. It goes beyond what your eyes see.

Nevertheless, lust is based on physical attraction. When the other person is not appealing
to your eyes anymore, you eventually decide to leave.

3. Love is long-lasting; lust is momentary.

Love is a long term commitment to cherish and care for each other that is built stronger
through time. You and your partner work together to resolve conflicts that can end your
relationship. This is all because you do not want to lose each other, but instead, you want it
to last forever.

On the other hand, since lust is only focused on gratifying selfish needs, making the
relationship last is not in your priorities. For you, parting ways with that person does not
really matter. Anyway, you only see your relationship as something temporary—and that
you could always find someone ‘hotter’ than him/her.

4. Love desires long-term commitment; lust is a no-strings-attached transaction.

Like what has been discussed in the previous number, love is about making your
relationship last. You dream of having a family—in short, you envision sharing the future
together. This involves a commitment to stay faithful and enduring throughout the years.

However, if you cannot imagine marrying the person in the future, but you enjoy doing ‘fun’
things together now, then it is lust. You are not committed to each other. You have an open
relationship. Meaning, both of you can look for another partner if you want to.

ALSO READ: 10 Ways to Overcome Lust in a Relationship

5. Love sees the other person as a partner; lust sees the other person as a sexual
object.
When you love a person, you see him/her like your other half (if you are in a relationship
or you are married). In anything that would involve your relationship, you do not act on
your own. That means when you make decisions, you always consider his/her views. Your
partner is more than a need-gratifier.

A partner’s needs and wants must be respected and honored, but lust usually violates these
in order to fulfill the other person’s own desires. You do not care if s/he does not agree
with your decisions, because for you s/he does not have the right to meddle with your life.
S/he is only there because you both benefit from each other.

6. Love builds; lust destroys.

Love builds up a person in all areas of life. It inspires you to excel in whatever you do
because you want to be the best for your partner. This also drives you to help him/her to
be successful. You want the person to achieve his/her dreams because you want him/her to
be happy and fulfilled.

If your relationship is making you messed up, then probably you only stay for its physical
benefits. Lust, although it can gratify sexual needs, will tear you up emotionally and
spiritually. As you both engage in carnal pleasure—and you know there is nothing more to
it—you gradually lose self-respect. In the long run, it makes you unmotivated to reach for
your highest potentials.

ALSO READ: True Love vs. Fake Love: 20 Differences You Must Know
7. Love gives; lust takes.
Love is sacrificial. You sacrifice and give a part of yourself—sometimes everything of you—
to your partner. You want to contribute something that can help him/her in a way, never
mind about you getting anything in return.

On the other hand, lust takes from your partner. It is centered on you taking and using
whatever you can from him/her for your personal gain. You are focused on fulfilling your
desires even at the expense of his/her needs.

8. Love produces joy; lust produces thrill.

A relationship that is based on the firm foundation of love produces joy despite trials or
even when being together has become a usual task. It does not depend on the
circumstances and adventures. The presence of your partner is enough to make you feel
good.

However, with lust, you enjoy being with each other, because of the thrill of attraction. You
stick together, because of the ‘fun’ that keeps your days from being boring.

9. Love waits; lust is now.

Patience helps us find the right person to spend the rest of our life with and be who that
person deserves. Therefore, in love, we do not rush things—especially engaging in carnal
activities—that can ruin the future of our partner. You work together to preserve each
other for the right time because you do not want to cause him/her emotional scars, STD’s,
or an unplanned baby.

Lust and its desires quickly consume us to get our needs fulfilled at the very moment. When
lust hits you, you would not care what would be the consequences of your actions, as long
as you get satisfied now.

ALSO READ: Love vs. Infatuation: 12 Differences You Must Know

10. Love respects; lust gets disappointed.

When you love a person, you respect his/her principles and decisions. You would not force
the person to do something which s/he does not want to, even if it means depriving
yourself of something you want.

On the other hand, if what you feel for the other person is only lust, you get disappointed
and mad when s/he does not give in to what you want. Your primary concern is having
your needs and desires met.

11. Love sacrifices; lust seeks for other means.

This is in connection to # 10. Since you respect the decisions of your partner, you are
willing to sacrifice your own demands just to honor his/her rights.

Lust does not focus on any person. It is all about your sensual desire. If your partner does
not give you what you need, then you look for someone else who can satisfy it.
12. Love involves trust; lust does not.
When there is love in a relationship, there is a commitment between partners to remain
faithful to each other. For this reason, you invest trust in your partnership—which is a
necessary foundation for a long-lasting relationship.

Lust does not require trust. You hate it when the other person demands loyalty. By the way,
please do not mistake jealousy as an indication of love. In case you feel jealous when you
see the other person with someone else, it is because you feel your pride is stepped on.

Not waiting might cause you to have permanent heartaches physically, emotionally,
mentally and socially.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to
harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” –Jeremiah 29:11

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with
lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” – 2 Corinthians 6:14

I think for many people, the solution needs to come fast. But with God, there is no quick
answer or solution. Perfection takes time. We struggle with the idea of patience and waiting
for God's plans because we become too enthralled with the quickness of life. To be patient
is to be successful, for we are putting our lives in God's hands. Only then will we truly be
able to feel the presence of patience within our life. If we are patient in all things, God will
make good follow.

3. Live a God-glorifying life and become a good example to others.

“There is actually something happening while nothing is happening. God uses waiting to
change us.”

The story of Adam and Eve is a story of rebellion against God. Once they believed that God
didn’t have their best interests in mind, they decided to go ahead without God and do what
they wanted. They became, in effect, their own god. Too often, this is exactly what we do
today. When God tells us to wait, we don’t trust him, but go ahead and find ways to
accomplish what we want to happen.

This tendency to push God to the side goes against his plan for us. It creates distance in our
relationship with him. It causes us to get into trouble and brings pain. What good is it to
gain the whole world now — whatever it is we think we want — and forfeit our souls’
intimacy with God (Mark 8:36).

Ways to Glorify God while waiting

1.  Keep on praying. 

Yes, when God has repeatedly answered with silence, this is easier said than done. But I
keep praying because Jesus commanded us to do it.

When Jesus taught His followers how to pray, He emphasized persistence (Luke 11:1-13).
He employed a verb tense calling for continuous action: “Everyone who keeps asking,
receives; and he who keeps seeking, finds; and he who keeps knocking, it shall be opened”
(verse 10, translation mine).

2.  Study the lives of Bible characters who waited on God for a long time.

Abraham (Gen. 12-21) waited twenty-five years for God to give the promised heir through
Sarah.

Joseph (Gen. 39-41) unjustly languished in jail for more than two years before God
catapulted him to prominence and his administrative destiny was fulfilled.

Jacob has to wait 14 years to be with Rachel.

Twenty five years passed between Samuel’s anointing of David to be king, and David’s
assumption of the throne in Judah (1 Sam. 16-2; Sam. 2).

Take a close look at their narratives. What did God accomplish in their lives while they
waited?  Their stories reveal the truth of V. Raymond Edman’s remark: “Delay never
thwarts God’s purpose; it merely polishes His instrument.”

3.  Camp out in biblical texts where the theme of waiting surfaces.

Among my favorites: Psalm 13; Psalm 27:13-14; Psalm 62:1-8; Lamentations 3:22-25. As
you read, jot down answers to these questions.

 What traits of the Lord do these passages cite?

 What effect should awareness of these traits have on my faith?
 What do these verses suggest I do while I wait? (Look for what the texts illustrate and
imply, not only what authors directly state.)
 What would you add to this list of things to do while waiting on God?
 If you’re currently in a time of delay, which of these suggestions do you most need to
apply?

4.  Remember God’s past faithfulness.

Remembering specific prayers God has favorably answered, and how you grew spiritually
through times of affliction, may instill the faith needed for current stressors, such as
delays.  How has He provided financially? What relationships has He salvaged?  What did
He do in your heart and character during past episodes of waiting?
In Psalm 106:7-22, three times God lamented Israel’s forgetfulness of His past deeds on
their behalf. Psalm 145 repeatedly tells us not only to remember His past deeds, but to tell
others about His past faithfulness. Remembering and testifying shifts our focus from our
current excruciating delay to who He is (and who He has been) for us.

5. Join church ministries

Joining church ministries does not only help you hone your talents and skills; it also keeps
your busy. It fills your waiting time with worthwhile activities that glorify God.

6.  Express praise and gratitude to God.

Examine Psalm 103 and Ephesians 1 for benefits associated with salvation. Thank God for
wooing you to Himself, and for what He has done in the past for you and your family. As
you express gratitude, mention specific instances when He intervened. What you are
waiting for pales in comparison to what He has already done.

7.  Ask the Lord to use your delay for a redemptive purpose.  

Invite Him to expose areas in which you need to grow, to reveal hidden sins to abandon,
and to show you meaningful avenues of service to fulfill while you wait. When you’re in a
waiting mode, you’re usually more teachable and more responsive to the Holy Spirit’s
whispers.

In effect, you’re saying to Him, Father, don’t waste this difficult delay. Use it for my long-
term benefit and to enhance Your glory through my life.
Galatians 6:10 ESV / 217 helpful votes
So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who
are of the household of faith.

DISADVANTAGES OF NOT WAITING

1. OUT OF FOCUS FROM YOUR GOALS
Love changes everything, even our goals. We've all seen or felt the way a new relationship
gives partners tunnel vision and makes them forget the rest of the world. It's OK for a little
while, but if you're not careful, before you know it, your relationship will sidetrack your
goals in ways you might not even realize. And there's nothing worse than waking up after a
serious love binge and realizing that you've missed opportunities to become the person you
want to be.
1. You slack in school
Love affects your judgement. And it can make you skip class, skip study
sessions, skip homework, and, if you're like me, skip tests. Yikes. If you're in school, you
have to make a serious commitment to slack as little as possible.
 2. You Miss Networking Opportunities
When you get into a relationship, it's easy to spend so much time together
that you stop going after all of those opportunities. Skipping one guest speaker or club
meeting is no big deal, but dropping out of the game in a significant way can slow your
goals and deprive you of life-changing opportunities.
3. You Get Distracted
Getting distracted happens. But there's getting distracted by love and there's
getting completely derailed by love. If you're not doing what you love anymore, even if
you're happy, you need to think about things in terms of the bigger picture. Will you regret
this lost time? Do you want to be a person who doesn't do what they do?
4. You Make The Relationship Your Goal

Proverbs 3:6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble,
whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything
is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

2. AVOID HEALTH, MENTAL, EMOTIONAL AND SOCIAL PROBLEMS.

Parental Influence

Violence among teen dating partners has garnered national attention and has been called a
public health problem that leads to adverse health outcomes. In "Teens and Dating: Tips for
Parents and Professionals," Kate Fogarty says teens who feel warmth and support from
parents experience more positive and secure friendships. Fogarty further reports that teen
girls who have strong relationships with their mothers and who are not involved in steady
dating have higher academic achievement than girls in romantic relationships. Parents can
help their teenagers avoid negative dating experiences by keeping communication open in
a warm and supportive relationship.

Abstinence

Teenage students who are abstinent from sexual activity have higher academic
achievement, according to Robert Rector and Kirk A. Johnson in "Teenage Sexual
Abstinence and Achievement." Statistics indicate that abstinent students are 60 percent
less likely to be expelled from school, 50 percent more likely to graduate and twice as likely
to complete college. However, it is not necessarily the sexual abstinence that gets the credit
for the greater academic performance. It may be that the characteristics of the student who
abstains are the same characteristics that help the student succeed academically -- impulse
control, perseverance, ability to resist peer pressure and more respect for parental and
societal norms.

Negative outcomes can include:

 substance use
 academic difficulties
 stress
 involvement in delinquent behaviour (particularly in relation to early sexual and
romantic experiences)
 sexual health risks
 unplanned pregnancy
 risk of experiencing 'dating violence' or 'partner violence'
 increased vulnerability to experiencing depressive symptoms (particularly for girls,
and particularly following break-ups).

“Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love,
in spirit, in faith, in purity.”- 1 Timothy 4:12

3. LIVING A SINFUL LIFE BEFORE GOD

According to these statistics, many Christian singles are sweeping aside God’s directives for
their sexuality.
Consider the words of Romans 12:2, which say: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be
transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will
of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” This verse does not say to legalistically
follow the rules so you can lord it over other “less perfect” Christians. No, it says that to
know the will of God, you must allow Him — not this world — to transform your mind and
heart.
Sexual immorality is disobedience to God.
Sexual immorality drives a wedge between you and God.

Engaging in premarital sex may not seem like a big deal, but living in disobedience in this
one area negatively impacts your overall walk with Christ. In “Leaving the Edge” I wrote:

Our culture is full of “empty words” that tell us that sexual gratification is most important.
But Paul warns that choosing anything — whether sexual impurity or greed — over God is
idolatry. [Ephesians 5:3-6] So our choices regarding “how far is too far” aren’t about the
behaviors themselves but about our esteem of God and His commands.
These choices are so serious that we can potentially separate ourselves from our spiritual
inheritance — not only the prize awaiting us in heaven but the power in Christ we can have
now. One friend described it this way: “Getting too physical just dulls you spiritually. Pretty
soon stuff that felt wrong doesn’t feel wrong anymore.”

Sexual obedience leads to freedom and health.

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have
from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your
body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil
desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” –Ephesians 5:3

“Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show
mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. “Isaiah
30:18

HOWEVER,…
OUR GOD IS A GOD OF HEALING, PATIENCE AND FORGIVENESS.

First John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and
to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

TIPS WHILE WAITING

1. Pray

Praying is important. But involving others in this process is helpful. Read Luke 8:27-36. Did
you ever wonder why Jesus let the demons that were in the man go into the herd of pigs?
Why would God let the pigs drown? And then it hit me. Jesus had performed other miracles
by this time. And some of them might have been shared, or maybe not. But the fact that a
herd of pigs ran off the edge of a cliff and all drowned. That would be a story people would
remember.

Sometimes things happen to us which stretch our faith. Enlisting others to pray is dually
beneficial:
 1. Sharing your burdens lessens them.
2. Others grow spiritually as they see God answer prayers they had a part in.

Read 1 Peter 5:7. God informs us that we are to cast our anxiety on him. Why? Because no
one cares about us like God does. Just as I was concerned when my young grandson lost his
beloved Lightning McQueen car, God is a concerned Father about whatever concerns us.

2. Read Truth

All of us have certain things we read which give us courage when things are difficult. Maybe
you have a favorite portion of Scripture. Maybe you like to memorize verses so you can
meditate on them when you are experiencing hard times. Waiting is difficult. Concentrating
on what is true helps us recognize when Satan starts lying to us.

He’ll tell us things like:

 God doesn’t care about you.

 He doesn’t hear you.
 You haven’t been reading the Bible lately; he’s not going to answer.

We need to read truth when we face a trial so we can be armed. Read Ephesians 6:10-20. In
this section God describes why it is important to stand against the enemy of our soul. Satan
loves to attack at our weakest points, so we need the power of God to fight this. We need
the his armor. God’s own Son turned to God and his Word when tempted.

3. Sing praises

Sometimes we’re not in a place where we can easily process things. In that case, let me
suggest that you get alone and sing to God. When I was at my sister’s murder trial waiting
for my turn to testify, I remember quietly singing hymns. Some I hadn’t sung in years, and
yet, when I needed those words, they were there, tucked away in my mind.

4. Start a Journal

Sometimes our faith wavers; the longer we must wait for an answer, the harder it becomes.
Listing other things God has done in my life has helped tremendously. We all need those
reminders.

When David fought Goliath, even he reflected on what God had done in the past in his life.
List things God has done for you in your life. You’ll be amazed how many you’ll come up
with in such a small period of time.

You can go back as far as you’d like, and as you make this list, you’ll feel your confidence in
God growing. Read Hebrews 13:8. Just meditating on the immutability of God will help you
to trust in his unfailing love. We can trust that the one who helped us yesterday is able to
help us again today.
5. Find an accountability partner

If you find you are struggling, maybe it is time to call on a pastor to help you sort things out.
Not only do they know truth, but they are also trained to help you when you feel
overwhelmed with your life.

A pastor may also have other ideas of what you can do to alleviate the anxiety you are
feeling. I remember one time in particular when I was struggling with waiting on God. I
found that the words my pastor had for me were very encouraging. The Bible says we are
to encourage one another. Pastors are good at encouraging hearts that are bent low
because of trials.

6. Serve and volunteer

V. CONCLUSION

TRUE LOVE always waiting for the right time to sincerely express courtship for
someone you love that gives an opportunity to have a relationship with God as the
center and eventually lead into marriage according to God's perfect time and
purpose.

LDR

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

It means that we are already committed even though we haven’t met the person that
God has for us. But we need to keep our selves pure, obedient, and living a God-
glorifying life while waiting for that someone.

SONG: I Promise

VI. ASSIGNMENT

Get a piece of paper and write a love letter to your future spouse. At the end, write a
short prayer for him/her. Seal the letter and give it to your teachers. The letter will
be opened on your wedding day.