It is not a secret that the sudden pandemic gave everyone traumatic and unpleasant experiences;

these might include health issues, financial matters, relationship conflicts, mental health
problems, etc. As for me, I experienced all of the mentioned circumstances above. During the
first few weeks of the lockdown, my overall well-being was in a horrible condition to the point
that I randomly cried at any time of the day. I no longer have the sense of self-control and the
ability to comprehend what was happening and how we could get out of that situation. I could
feel that my whole being was consumed by my anxiety and fear of the unknown— what would
happen to us? When will this end? Will this nightmare ever end? Each day, endless questions
about the future bother me and won't let me sleep peacefully at night.

However, I realized one day that self-pitying and lingering on the past would not make my
situation any better. Therefore, I decided to help myself move forward and create a different
outlook on life amidst the pandemic by creating a brand new to-do list that is feasible over the
lockdown period. My list includes learning new recipes that I found online, study how to cut
men's hair, continue my painting hobby, practising bullet journaling, and create do-it-yourself
projects. At first, it was difficult for me since I did not possess all of the materials, ingredients, or
the right tools to achieve the tasks I mentioned. But of course, that did not stop me from pursuing
my goal; that is why I used all the resources that I have at home with all the support that my
family gives me. No oven for baked goodies? No problem! Let's try a no-bake version. No
electric razors? No problem! I used regular hair scissors for my brother's hair, and he liked it!
Together with the people I love, all of these little things that I did while I was stuck at home
helped me cope with the emptiness that almost devoured me. They gave me hope and strength to
conquer what has been killing my personality, passion, and will to live when I myself do not
know what could heal me.

While I am doing this memento of my experience in the first year of the pandemic, my
inspiration was Giovanni Boccaccio's masterpiece called, The Decameron. It is a collection of
stories being told by the ten main characters of the tale for ten days with different themes. I am
inspired by how elaborate, and intrinsic Boccaccio's writing style is for this classic literary piece,
essentially because he managed to provide various lessons for every tale in the story. In a sense
that you will not learn only one valuable moral of the story, but instead, you receive ten relevant
life lessons. Therefore, I also tried to incorporate diverse themes for every season in our lives for
my journal. For me, the symbolism of the seasonal changes serves as a reminder that life
constantly changes and that progress is continuous and endless. And for every transformation
that we do, there would always be a succeeding result that would help us move forward to the
next chapter of our lives— whether positive or negative. I had to learn these things the hard way
because I always thought about the challenges in my life— like the pandemic— as torture for the
sins I committed before. But then, I was wrong; these challenges are there to help me improve
and turn me into a better version of myself. Besides that, I can also relate to the main characters
who left their past behind and decided to move away from the place or things that do not help
their current situation. They did not choose to remain stagnant and carelessly deal with the
plague by assisting each other divert their attention from the negative to positive aspects of life.

Another classic piece of literature that inspired my work is the ancient Chinese literary piece
called Tao Te Ching, remarkably the value of Wu Wei, which means non-doing. However, I
have mentioned earlier that I find productivity and activeness a good way of coping with the
stress of the pandemic, the concept of Wu Wei strikingly caught my attention. There are many
things in life that we always try to take control of or, say, plan, to which Wu Wei is a big
contrast. For me, the concept of Wu Wei is beautiful because it teaches us how not to react
violently to everything that happens around us. In a sense, we do not have to invest all of our
energy into everything, especially those that are not essential and relevant in our lives. I also
learned from Wu Wei that we would attain naturally everything that our hearts truly desire—
healing, peace of mind, and forgiveness. It made me contemplate that I should let things go
smoothly according to what our nature wants to transpire.

And to end my journal, I just to put it out there that we may all have different experiences when
it comes to the pandemic; let us not forget that nothing is permanent in life. All of this madness
will end, and soon, all of us can look back at this era with a smile saying, "I made it!"

I am now looking back at 19, with hope and acceptance.