“Adventures In The Blue” by Mohamed Said Khater

Assessment, Plan, and Sample Edit

What I noticed when looking at the translation is that it has a lot of formal words (and sometimes, those
words do not make sense in the context of the sentence). The average person may not comprehend the content or pay
attention. The person who translated seems to have used formal - almost Shakespearean - English, sometimes mixed
with sentences that seem to be straight from a dictionary or direct translation.
I recommend (and my method would be) simplifying the sentences to make them more understandable to
avoid confusing or even boring the readers. I know it needs to represent what the author wrote, but Arabic sentence
structures are different than English sentence structures, so those aspects should have been originally considered. I
will also need to correct a lot of grammar and punctuation in general (because there are various mistakes present).
So, I will be editing a lot of the English, but I will also have to retranslate a lot of the original Arabic version.
Current questions:
- Are any of the photographs copyrighted? In other words, do any of them need to be cited? I saw that there
were illustrators involved with drawings, but I just wanted to check with you about the actual photographs
in case you need help.
- Do you have any questions, comments, or concerns for me?
(Below is a pasted sample/draft of how I edit. Let me know what you honestly think, and if you want me to
change or do anything differently)
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Introduction
Together we’ll explore my vast collection of memories and experiences in the blue water. I
did not record these moments at the time of occurrence; I originally had no intention to do so.
However, they piled up inside my mind and soul, and I felt the pen crawl onto my paper with the
words slowly pouring out of me in harmony - reaching you through this book.
Believe it or not, these situations and experiences during my long professional history in the
world of the sea are all true. Some of these experiences are wonderful and strange, while others are
funny and exciting. I will share them exactly how I witnessed or heard them.
Strangely enough, during the first maritime trip of my professional career, I faced a problem
that almost turned me away from the sea and any of its affairs. In 1968, I was dominated by
intense dizziness that made me sway, but I regained control over myself. After a few moments, I
had the urge to empty my stomach, and I began to consider why I felt this way. Was it something I
ate? Or, maybe I caught a stomach cold? Or, was it that seasickness older sailors told us about
before sailing? My ill state continued throughout that trip; that issue was about to change the
whole course of my career.
How did I overcome that state and overcome other problems that I faced during my long
sailing experience onboard different ships - or even throughout my deep-sea diving experiences?
Dear reader, that is what you will discover in this journey through the deep sea. Chapter One,
“Situations in the Depths of the Seas,” is devoted to a group of different experiences I faced in
the deep sea. Chapter Two, “Confrontation between mind and power,” is devoted to a group of
my shark encounters - and my encounters with pioneers in this field. Chapter Three is about
“Fishing with a spear,” and Chapter Four, and the last, regards “Sharing experiences of the
World of the Sea.” Let us all join in understanding these experiences so they can become material
to learn from and educate others. Maybe one day we will meet on the surface of the water, or in the
depths of the sea. May God grant us success…