The Positive Side of Negative Thinking 25/02/22, 2:40 PM

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The Positive Side of Negative Written by Victoria Stokes

on September 8, 2020 —
Fact checked by Jennifer
Thinking Chesak

Negativity bias Acceptance Moving on Emotional range Authenticity

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Motivation Growth Health Relationships Takeaway

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Don’t worry, be happy. Chin up. Look on the bright side. Social media feeds and daily
conversations are flooded with phrases like these. You don’t have to look too far to see how
much we favor positivity.

A positive mental attitude can be a powerful tool to help you through life’s challenges and daily
struggles. But unrelenting positivity can turn toxic.

Forcing yourself to always look on the bright side can become draining, and optimism can lead
us to ignore the thoughts and feelings that are happening at a deeper level.

Helen Dillon, life and careers coach and founder of Your Path Coaching, agrees that too much
positivity isn’t necessarily a good thing. She recognizes that negative thinking, when used right,
can be a powerful tool for introspection and a motivator for change.
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“Being positive all of the time means that there is no critical analysis taking place or taking
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“Life is never straight forward; it often throws curveballs at us, like losing one’s job or suffering
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The Positive Side of Negative Thinking 25/02/22, 2:40 PM

a period of ill health… Positivity is a good mindset to have, but embracing the negative
moments in our lives is what keeps us real.”

Negativity bias
Gillian Fagan, a therapist, coach, and counselor at Acora Therapy, agrees with Dillion. Fagan
also notes that biologically speaking, humans have a negativity bias, which means we’re
actually designed to focus on the negatives.

“Our brains are hardwired for negativity, because human beings are wired to survive,” she
explains.

“It’s more natural for us to expect the worst, catastrophize, be cautious and slow to change. If
the default position is to survive, this means worrying about the what-ifs.”

According to Fagan, too much positivity can reinforce feelings of personal failure when life
doesn’t go the way we want. It’s in these scenarios that negativity is needed for us to grow.

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Accepting the negative

For me, it was looking closely at the negative emotions that surrounded a work problem that
helped me move forward.

When I found myself dreading going to work in the mornings, telling myself to simply look on
the bright side wasn’t cutting it.

Instead, I accepted the negative emotions I was feeling and gave myself the space to
investigate them.

I took a look at what was really going on. I allowed myself to vent to friends when normally I
might force a smile. Instead of contriving gratitude, I kept a grievance journal to put all my
worries and concerns down on paper.

What I discovered was a mix of feelings of inadequacy at work and anxiety stemming from the
demands of the job. Armed with this knowledge, I was able to implement some changes.

I worked on building my confidence, learned to speak up when the workload became too
demanding, and accepted that the job wasn’t perfect. This was a relief in itself.

Moving on
Negativity was my path to getting to a happier place. If I hadn’t allowed myself to focus on the
negatives, I wouldn’t have moved forward.

So, how can you harness the power of negative thinking in your life?

“First of all, it’s acknowledging to ourselves that we’re unhappy or dissatisfied with the position ADVERTISEMENT

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The Positive Side of Negative Thinking 25/02/22, 2:40 PM

in which we find ourselves,” explains Dillon.

“This can be an enormous difficulty, especially if it’s admitting that something we had chosen to
do didn’t work out right.”

Once we give ourselves the space for this reflection, we’re able to work out a solution. The
resulting negative emotions are motivators to drive us to change, says Dillon.

“Using these periods of negativity is actually how we learn to improve ourselves. It’s how we
can better understand our strengths when we are faced with challenges that make us dig deep
within ourselves to overcome those difficulties,” she says.

Negative thinking actually holds benefits that can help us move forward in life.

Emotional range
Accepting all emotions allows us to experience our lives more fully. We don’t have to feel guilty
or at fault when negative emotions arise. We can accept them as just a part of life. They also
allow us to appreciate the positive aspects of life more fully.

“We succeed because we learn and grow from our failures. We connect and feel love because
we are vulnerable and take risks. Avoiding pain is in a way a form of pain, as it means living in
denial,” says Fagan.

Authenticity ADVERTISEMENT

No one is capable of being totally positive all the time. We’re too multidimensional for that.

“When we’re just emitting positivity, we are putting too much pressure on ourselves to be
anything other than an authentic human being. Any negative feelings just get pushed down
and sent to denial,” says Fagan.

“It’s genuinely OK not to be OK! When we honor all of our feelings, we honor all of ourselves.
The most positive thing you can do is be true to yourself.”

The pressure of being positive all the time can lead to increased stress as well as feelings of
isolation. It may lead you to bottle up your feelings and not share when things are difficult.

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Motivation for change

Looking at a problem and accepting that something in your life isn’t working is the first step in
making a change.

“One of the biggest motivators for change is being uncomfortable with our real feelings,” Fagan
notes.

“Nobody wants to feel afraid or sad. The negative thoughts are usually what motivate people to

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seek therapy and get a real understanding of what is going on for them and why they feel what
they feel.”
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Without negative feelings, we might stay in less-than-ideal situations when deep down we’re in
need of something different.

Failure equals growth

Success doesn’t come without failure, Fagan points out.

“If you know what failure feels like, congratulations!” says Fagan. “Failure means that you tried.
You took a risk and tried something. Show me a successful person who has never experienced
failure. I really believe that we should be celebrating failure, as it teaches us so much; how to
improve, develop, learn and grow.”

If you fail but continue to try, you build resiliency and are better able to cope with life’s ups and
downs.

Improved health
Not being honest with yourself or others about how you’re feeling has real health
consequences.

“Psychological and physiological studies show that denial and pretending to be OK increases
internal stress. Hiding feelings of anger and sadness can cause depression, anxiety, and even
physical illness,” Fagan says.

Emotional repression has been shown to decrease immune function and put you at higher risk
for some diseases.

“A range of emotions helps us regulate our stress response, which actually means a healthier
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immune system. Accepting negative emotions rather than dismissing them is better for you in
the long run,” says Fagan.

Better relationships
Accepting your negative emotions can also improve your relationships. By being honest about
what you’re experiencing, you’re increasing the opportunities for intimacy with your partner.
Intimacy itself has multiple health benefits.

Your instinct may be to play the “strong one,” but vulnerability is necessary for deep
connections.
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Embracing the good and the bad

Yes No
Ultimately, it’s all about balance. Both positive thinking and negative thinking can be valuable
to us in different ways.

Striving to be positive in a difficult situation can be the mindset that keeps us going when the
going gets tough. Negative thinking can be the tool that allows us to carefully assess a

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The Positive Side of Negative Thinking 25/02/22, 2:40 PM

situation and decide to make a change.

A healthy outlook has room for both.

Victoria Stokes is a writer from the United Kingdom. When

she’s not writing about her favorite topics, personal
development, and well-being, she usually has her nose
stuck in a good book. Victoria lists coffee, cocktails, and the
color pink among some of her favorite things. Find her on
Instagram.

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