Cynthia Griffin

Professor Quinn

Eng 102

May 13, 2021

Coming of Age

Oftentimes, the line is blurred between when childhood becomes adulthood. Is it when

you turn 18? Is it when you get a drivers license? Is it when you have your first legal sip of

alcohol? Although there are all these milestones in life when one becomes an “adult”, there is no

legitimate point when a person becomes fully matured. Thus why coming of age stories are so

interesting, because although it is something that every person goes through at some point in life,

there is no distinction on when and where it exactly begins and ends--if it ever does end. This

concept of “coming of age”, rather than beginning because of a singular event, instead seems to

start because of a culmination of multiple events. One of, if not, the best representations of this

universal concept is seen in literature. In the novel “The Kite Runner”, Khaled Hosseini

illustrates a poetic coming of age story centered around Amir, who traverses the fields of

emotional trauma, guilt and regrets, discovering truths, and loss that he faces while maturing in

unfamiliar lands.

Before diving into the contents of “The Kite Runner” it is important to understand the

intricacies of coming of age literature which, evidently, has no one specific layout. According to

Daniel Jones, “While there is an agreement on a standard working definition of a coming of age

narrative, there is little agreement among scholars on the constituent elements of these

narratives” (Jones 1). Clearly, although coming of age literature is possibly the most universal

type of narrative, there is still vast debate amongst the scholar community on what exactly makes
up this type of story. There is a generally agreed upon definition that this narrative follows the

development of a child into adulthood through a process of trials and revelations (Jones 1).

While scholars concur that this is a working definition, they argue about not only the origins of

the German term Bildungsroman--which translates into “formation novel”--but also the age of

the protagonist going through this transformation.

The age group of the protagonist, Amir, in “The Kite Runner” is a great example of the

argument within the scholarly community regarding the age of the character. Oftentimes,

characters in coming of age novels are generalized to be in their teenage years--many scholars

“...limit the definition of a coming-of-age narrative to focus on protagonists between the ages of

12-19” (Jones 1). Clearly, this brings up the issue of whether Hosseini’s book even qualifies as a

coming of age novel because, although Amir goes through many trials and tribulations, the main

transformation of his character comes when he’s already well into his 20’s and possibly 30’s. As

Jones points out, Kenneth Millard argues that “...a recurring element of the coming-of-age

narrative is the way in which a protagonist’s adult identity is framed by historical events and

points of origin and conditioned by social obligations and expectations” (qtd. in Jones 1). This

idea of coming into one's own identity through trials while navigating societal limitations is

exactly what Amir does throughout the novel. After witnessing his own friend, Hassan, being

raped by their childhood bully in their hometown of Kabul in Afghanistan, Amir not only

chooses to run away instead of helping his friend but he also decides to push Hassan out of his

life for good. The added layer of Amir being Pashtun--the “superior” group of Afghans--while

Hassan was Hazara--the minority group--created a greater divide between Amir and Hassan:

Amir tries not to be to close to Hassan despite his amazing friendship because of Amir’s fear of

judgement from the community. After the Russians invaded Afghanistan, Amir and his father,
Baba, flee to America where Amir ends up meeting Soraya and getting married. Still riddled

with guilt and regret for his choices made back in Afghanistan, Amir loses Baba to cancer and

travels back to Afghanistan to visit his father’s old friend, Rahim Khan, who is also dying.

Rahim tells Amir of Baba’s dark secret, that Hassan is in fact Amir’s half-brother. Still shocked

after learning this news, Rahim explains to Amir that Hassan and his wife were killed by the

Taliban and have left a son, Sohrab, behind. Amir, after realizing the truth of his life, choses to

travel into war-torn Afghanistan to find Sohrab and redeem himself from the mistakes of his

past. His attempts to reflect on his past and form a new identity based on the choices he’s making

shows a real growth of character and definite coming of age.

This process of self discovery Amir goes through, from making a cowardice choice as a

child, losing a sense of innocence, feeling guilty and lashing out, reflecting on the past and

regretting those choices, losing those close to him, and choosing to travel back to a now

unfamiliar land to redeem himself and face the ghosts of his past, Amir grows and changes as a

character immensely towards the end of the book. And this transformation lays out the three

major aspects of any coming of age narrative; the loss of childhood innocence, the realization of

social expectations and norms, and to accept a socially constructed identity or to construct a

personal sense of identity for oneself (Jones 1-2). Amir experiences all of this throughout the

novel, from witnessing a rape, to realizing the truth about Hassan and Baba, to making the choice

to go after Sohrab and eventually adopt him. This brings about another major aspect of coming-

of-age literature which is the aspect of race and class. Hassan and Sohrab are Hazara, the lower

class and minority group in Afghanistan, while Amir and Baba are Pashtun. This brings an added

element of divide and, therefore, barriers that Amir must overcome to truly come into his own. In

the beginning of the book, Amir pushes away Hassan because of the fact that he was Hazara, but
at the end of the novel Amir throws himself into danger and takes a stand against his old

childhood bully, his father-in-law, and his entire community to save and adopt Sohrab, a Hazara.

This development of character on the side of Amir, who cared so much about personal image and

reputation at the beginning of the book who now, at the end of the book, is choosing his own

preferences and morals over that of societal expectations.

The comparison between what society sees of us versus what we see of ourselves is

always an essential element of any coming of age novel. In an analysis of Amir’s character

growth through the concept of Sigmund Freud’s personality structure theory, Ting Wen explores

Amir’s journey through the idea of the id, ego, and the superego. The id is related to instinctual

urges and desires, the superego sets the ethical and moral standards by which the rest of the

personality operates, and the ego is the realistic part that mediates between the superego and the

id, creating a balanced personality (Wen 2). Wen emphasizes that, according to Freud’s theory,

“...these three components in a state of harmonious balance make one’s personality sound.

Otherwise, the disorder among them will threaten the normal development of one’s personality”

(2). Taking this into consideration, it is clear that in any coming of age novel, including “The

Kite Runner”, there is some sort of battle between these three aspects of the character’s

personality. Furthermore, it is acceptable to conclude that the process of “coming of age” occurs

when these three components of the personality, but specifically the ego--which is the balance

between the id and superego (Wen 2)--further develop and allow for a more well-rounded

personality structure, and thus, coming of age.

Analyzing this personality journey between the id, ego, and superego must start at the

beginning of the novel, when Amir is on a road to self-destruction led by his id. The real journey

of Amir’s desires--his id--is centered around his father, Baba. Always onto bigger and better
things, Baba was a force in Amir’s life that he wanted all to himself, but Baba never gave that to

him. Baba, whose wife died while giving birth to Amir, always seemed to hold some sort of

resentment towards his son, at least in Amir’s eyes. This belief drove Amir to do anything to

please his father, deeply motivated by this desire to be loved by Baba. Anytime Amir was shown

affection by Baba he was glad that “...everyone would see that he was my father, my Baba”

(Hosseini 15). Amir was very possessive over Baba, especially when it came to Baba’s

relationship with Hassan. According to Calvin Springer Hall, “The loss of their identification is

commonly suffered among children who are coldly treated by their parents. In order to regain

their parents’ love, they try their most effort to act according to their parents’ will” (qtd. in Wen

3). This instinctual desire to please and be loved by his parent, combined with Baba’s cold nature

and his affections for Hassan, drives Amir to resent Hassan simply for the fact that Baba cares

for him. So after the kite flying competition in Kabul where Amir wins and makes Baba proud,

he is faced with the decision to help or run from Hassan who he finds being raped in an alley by

their childhood bully, Assef. In the end, Amir chooses to run, which he attests to the fact that

“Maybe Hassan was the price I had to pay, the lamb I have to slay, to win Baba. Was it a fair

price? The answer floated to my conscious mind before I could thwart it: He was just a Hazara,

wasn’t he?” (Hosseini 77). There are several essential elements to this one instance, the first and

most obvious being the fact that Amir chose to run instead of stay and help his friend, he

behaved cowardly and he knew it. The second aspect is the fact that Amir believed that in some

twisted way, this “sacrifice” of Hassan was going to help him get into good graces with Baba,

almost as if Baba had a finite amount of love to give and if Hassan wasn’t around to take some

there would be more love for Amir. The final, and possibly most significant aspect to this scene

is him reasoning that Hassan being Hazara gave him reason to do all of this. That his class, his
race, gave Amir the right to brush him aside for his instinctual desires to be loved by his father.

And this racial aspect is what is essential to this coming of age narrative because it sets up a huge

societal barrier that Amir is going to have to get over in order to fully develop his personality.

Amir’s choice to run away from a friend in need in order to get into better graces with

Baba is a perfect example of the id at work. The id, which is only focused on instinctual desires,

is constantly searching to feel pleasure while simultaneously getting away from sorrow and other

painful experiences (Wen 4). Amir choosing to run is his instinct to be pleased by Baba’s

approval combined with his instinct to get away from painful experiences, i.e. his friend being

raped in front of him by Assef. Now you could reason that in this situation, Amir could have

fulfilled the same result by simply stopping Assef and saving Hassan, therefore preventing the

painful experience while gaining approval from Baba and gratefulness from Hassan. But the id is

not something of reason. It is, as Freud describes it, “...filled with energy reaching it from the

instincts, but it has no organization, produces no collective will, but only a striving to bring about

the satisfaction of the instinctual needs subject to the observance of the pleasure principle” (Wen

3-4). It is a dark, deceitful part of the human psyche only motivated by basic urges and instantly

gratifying results. There is no rhyme or reason to the id, no logical reasoning, Amir was blinded

by his selfish desires to be loved by his father, which many would reason is a completely

reasonable thing to be selfish about. In this moment of struggle, Amir’s moral codes--his

superego--is left vulnerable, while his id--his instinctual desires--take control of Amir’s decision

making, causing him to choose his personal greed over his conscience and morals. This choice is

one of consequence, but not in the way Amir imagines, which begins his journey to coming of

age.
 Even though Amir succumbs to his basic desires during this traumatizing event, the id is

not the only aspect of the personality that was present, it was just the most dominant in that

moment. Amir’s superego--which is still functioning within his personality--will cause him great

guilt in lue of the Hassan’s rape. As Snowden Ruth explains, “The superego works in

contradiction to the id, striving to act in a socially appropriate manner. The superego controls our

sense of right and wrong and guilt” (qtd. in Wen 4). After this experience, even though Amir

chose to be instantly gratified in the moment by getting away from the situation, he in turn,

provoked his superego to come to the forefront post-trauma to deal with his feelings of guilt and

betrayal that come along with choosing the id. It’s in fact a little bit poetic that Assef is the one

that rapes Hassan because they both have such contrasting personalities. Assef seems to be

completely dominated by the id, only searching to satisfy his urges and desires with zero regard

for the consequences and retributions from society or his conscience. Hassan, on the other hand,

is completely controlled by his superego--completely setting aside his personal desires to be the

best possible person he can be to Amir and everyone else in his life. He is, as Amir puts it,

“...incapable of hurting anyone” (Hosseini 10). So having Amir as the protagonist with Hassan

and Assef on opposite sides of the scale actually lead to a much more engaging and powerful

coming of age story, precisely for the fact that throughout the story we can compare Amir to both

extremes. In the beginning of the story, we compare Amir to Hassan, concluding Amir to be a

coward who prioritizes his own greed over his morals. But throughout the story we see that start

to transform, as Amir’s superego begins to make its way to the front of his conscience to choose

what he believes is morally right--to save Sohrab--while simultaneously utilizing his id to

prioritize what is important to him personally, regardless of societal standards--which, in this

case, is his choice to save and adopt Sohrab despite him being from a “lower” class in Afghan
culture. This merging of the two aspects of Amir’s personality is a result of his ego, which aims

to implement both the purpose of the id and the superego in long-term, realistic ways that both

satisfy the desires of the id while respecting the moral backbone of the superego. It is also

essential to point out that, although Amir is a clearly flawed character, his conscience, or

superego, never fades. Even in the beginning of the story, when Amir is completely driven by the

desires of the id, he still feels the guilt and shame produced by the superego. Unlike Assef, who

seems to have completely succumbed to his id, Amir seems to still be fighting in a small sense

for the presence of his conscience. This, coupled by the fact that in the end Amir chooses to grow

his moral backbone and use his conscious mind to meld his desires with his conscience, shows

that he is a perfect example of coming of age because he was able to grow himself into a more

harmonious character.

Amir’s awakening of his ego allows for a more fleshed out character development. The

presence of his ego and superego can be clearly seen multiple times throughout the novel, most

notably while he and Soraya are attempting--and failing--to have a child. After failing to

conceive their own child, Amir shoots down the idea of adopting a child because “Perhaps,

something, someone, somewhere, had decided to deny me fatherhood for the things I had done.

Maybe this was my punishment, and perhaps justly so” (Hosseini 188). Amir is riddled with

guilt, he feels he deserves punishment for what he has done in the past, something he never

received after the rape because neither him nor Hassan told anyone else about it. In a way, Amir

riddling himself with guilt is his conscience’s way of punishing himself because no one will give

him the punishment he believes he deserves. But this in and of itself proves Amir is good, the

simple fact that he feels guilt, that he believes he should be punished, shows that he has a

conscience. It never left, if anything, it only got stronger and more present since his childhood.
His perspective is completely shattered when Rahim Khan reveals to Amir that Hassan was his

half brother. Suddenly all the reasoning the id did in the past to pursue Baba’s love for being the

perfect man while disregarding Hassan for the simple fact that he was Hazara, all became

obsolete. Baba had committed a dreadful sin, sleeping with Ali’s--Hassan’s father and one of

Baba’s best friends--wife. Not only that, but he had lied about it to protect his own self-image.

And Hassan, who Amir had betrayed to get love from this imperfect man, was in fact Amir’s

blood brother all along. Suddenly Amir’s reality is shattered, this discovery of the truth both

destroys his image of Baba and brings his relationship with Hassan into a new light. He becomes

dreadfully aware of his past wrongdoings again, but this time, he allows the ego to merge the

superego and id to allow him to pursue Sohrab to make up for his sins while simultaneously

using his id to disregard the societal judgement he will face for risking so much to save a Hazara,

his own nephew. This ability to discover the truth, have his reality shattered, and push through

that to become a more balanced individual finally able to face his guilt shows the climax of his

coming of age.

This internal struggle Amir has between his conscience and his actions of the past driven

by his id illustrate both the complexities and simplicities of coming of age literature. Through the

inner complexities that is the development of Amir’s conscience within the novel, there is a clear

sense of growth. The reason this book is so powerful is because “...The Kite Runner is about not

just Afghanistan but also universal human themes, such as guilt, friendship, fatherhood, and

forgiveness, and is therefore a classic” (Aubry 27). This presence of deep-seeded flaws within

the protagonist, combined with a discovery of the cruelty of life and the ability to grow through

this cruelty into someone capable of redeeming themself is the essence of what a coming of age

novel should be. As George R. Odell, a reviewer from Amazon puts it, “The Kite Runner” is “A
moving coming of age tale that brings us face to face with the reality and beauty of not only the

Muslim world but also the universality of our common humanity, passions and fragilities”

(Aubry 28). The beauty of any coming of age story is it’s relatability. Hosseini brings the added

element of it being a foreign culture to the American market in a digestible and comprehensive

way that gives new light to life in the Middle East, both before, and now during all of the war

and fighting. All of the elements of a coming of age novel are there: the internal struggle, the

battle between personal identity and societal expectations, the elements of race and culture that

must be overcome, the descent into sin and the climb back up to redemption--Hosseini captures

all of it within this novel. And on the topic of age, although Amir is far into his late 20’s early

30’s when he “redeems” himself, there is no reason that should not be “coming of age”. This

concept that someone can only come of age during the teen years is ignorant, people don’t stop

growing as people after they stop growing. The similarities between someone who is 5 and

someone who is 95 is that neither one of them is perfect--there’s always room for growth.

Coming of age is often tied to this idea of a “loss of innocence”, but even then Amir witnessed

the cruelties of the world--Hassan’s rape--when they were young boys. He wasn’t even in the 12-

19 age range yet, and his growth throughout the rest of the novel progresses well into his adult

years. But simply stating that “The Kite Runner” can’t be a coming of age novel because of the

age Amir is when he fully “comes of age” is preposterous because he isn’t even done yet. The

novel may have ended, but Amir’s journey is still just beginning. There is never an end to this

growth, and for someone to assume that anyone could simply come of age within a few simple

years and be done with it is foolish.

The development of Amir throughout this novel has been one of great triumph and

failure. Through experiencing trauma as a young boy, living with the guilt of his past sins,
learning truths about life, and sacrificing himself and others on the road to self discovery,

Hosseini single-handedly illuminated the complex beauty of coming of age. There is no single

road to self-discovery, something that can be seen through infinite coming of age narratives as

well as in our own lives, but there is a common theme within all of these journeys; a realization

about life--that it is cruel and unforgiving, but also full of love and wisdom. There is a great

sense of wholeness that comes after reading a coming of age novel, one that is filled with a

universality that everyone, no matter what background or what belief, has, is, or will experience

this within their lifetime; and that is beautiful.

 Work Cited

Aubry, Timothy. “Afghanistan Meets the ‘Amazon’: Reading ‘The Kite Runner’ in America.”

PMLA, vol. 124, no. 1, 2009, pp. 25–43. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/25614246.

Accessed 20 Apr. 2021.

Hosseini, Khaled. The Kite Runner. Riverhead Books, 2003.

Jones, Daniel G. “Coming of Age.” Encyclopedia of Themes in Literature, Facts On File, 2020.

Bloom's Literature, online.infobase.com/Auth/Index?

aid=103249&itemid=WE54&articleId=38631. Accessed 20 Apr. 2021.

Wen, Ting. "On the Way to a Good Man Again--An Analysis of Amir in The Kite Runner from

Perspective of Freud's Personality Structure Theory." Theory and Practice in Language

Studies, vol. 9, no. 5, 2019, p. 589+. Gale Literature Resource Center,

link.gale.com/apps/doc/A588341963/GLS?u=rocklandcc&sid=GLS&xid=95b66f65.

Accessed 20 Apr. 2021.