JACC: HEART FAILURE
4, 2020
ª 2020 PUBLISHED BY ELSEVIER ON BEHALF OF THE
AMERICAN COLLEGE OF CARDIOLOGY FOUNDATION
Patient Perspective
LIVING WITH HEART FAILURE
Tales of a Broken Heart
My name is Carolyn Cross and I am happy to be alive
enjoying life with my family and friends today. Until
June 8, 2016, I was working, busy being a wife and
grandmother, and serving in many aspects of minis-
try in my church. My journey began on this date
because my world began changing in a direction I was
not expecting or prepared for. As I came home from
work on this day, my husband was sitting on the
porch having difficulty breathing. We immediately
went to the emergency department where he was
admitted. A radiograph was done and a huge mass
was found in his lung. The next day a confirming
diagnosis of lung cancer was given to us. My children,
grandchildren, and I were all devasted. My Marcell
was a tower of strength to our family and we could
not imagine life without him.
At this time, I completely forgot about taking care
of myself. I wrapped my entire being into taking
care of him and my family. We had to be okay, I had to
be okay, just keep going putting one foot in front of
the other. I felt in shock, numb, paralyzed with un-
certainty, and slowly coming to the realization of the
coming life changes.
Marcell went to Heaven, Wednesday, August 31,
2016. Just 11 weeks after receiving the diagnosis of
lung cancer. I did not know what to do or how to
handle it all. My heart had too many directions to run.
How was I to keep it all together? I had to be strong
for my children, my heart was broken as was theirs.
Our world had just fallen apart.
Saturday, September 3, 2016, at 3:30 AM (the day of
my husband’s funeral) I woke up feeling like my heart
exploded. I could feel my lungs filling up with fluid.
After talking to 911, they could not get to me for
40 min. I woke my brother and sister-in-law up and
told them to get me to the hospital. I told them to
drive me the 25 miles to the hospital at 100 miles an
hour. I knew I was in trouble!
Having my clothes ripped off while being wheeled
down the hospital corridor on the way to the cardiac
catheterization laboratory, I was told it was a classic
heart attack—whatever that means. I had a stent
placed in my marginal branch left anterior descending
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artery. I have to go to my husband’s funeral. What in
the world? I do not have time for this! Well, we had to
reschedule the funeral. I came home on September 5
and had to go back to the hospital the same night
because my lungs were filling up with fluid again. The
ambulance picked me up at 11:00 PM . They thought
they were going to lose me.
I was again rushed to the catheterization labora-
tory after my lungs continued to fill with fluid. Be-
tween September 6 and 8, I received the second stent
and sometime during the procedure, I must have
coded. I woke up with a huge weight on my chest and
being thrown up off the stretcher. They shocked my
heart and revived me. During this time the doctor
found I had blood clots in my heart also. Dear Lord,
please do not let me die! My children and grand-
children need me. I heard on the inside of me, “Stay
strong, do not let your faith waver.” I knew I would be
okay, either way I was going to be alright! I did miss
Marcell’s funeral, but very thankful I did not have my
own. Between September and March, I was in and out
of the hospital at least 13 times because of congestive
heart failure.
Being in and out of the hospital took its toll on my
whole family. Colton, my little 8-year-old grandson,
lives next door to me. He says, “Mawmaw, you are my
best friend.” When I was home, he wanted to spend
the night with me and he prayed every day for me.
Especially since losing his Pa, I try to spend as much
time as I can with him. I did not always feel like doing
what I wanted to do with him, but I tried to make the
most of the moments we had. This child needs me
and I need him!
In March 2017, I began receiving information about
the CardioMEMS HF System. I had no choice but to do
something and I knew Dr. Karia and Dr. Chandler
wanted the best for me. So, I was thoroughly
educated through teaching and videos on the lifestyle
changes and benefits of this procedure. It seemed
pretty simple and I thought it was worth a try. I was
so looking forward to feeling better, it was definitely
the only option for me! The lifestyle changes, diet and
exercise, were nothing compared with feeling normal
and having energy to do the things I love.
On March 30, the CardioMEMS sensor was inserted
into my pulmonary artery. I immediately felt relief
come over me and within about a month, we had my
medications adjusted. I noticed it the most in the
evening because I was not retaining fluid. I began my
328 Letter to the Editor
cardiac rehabilitation and diet and have not stopped
since. I send in my readings every day. If I need to
make changes to my diet or medication the nurse
from the heart failure clinic calls and tells me. After
receiving the CardioMEMS HF System, I have not
been in the hospital again for congestive heart failure.
A month later, Dr. Hall did a mitral valve repair on
May 19th that was very successful. He said, “It was
the best he has ever done!” So, now my friends who
are 10 years younger than I am complain because they
cannot keep up with me. I started a new ministry at
church for prime timers! I keep up with my grand-
children enjoying every moment. We go to the beach,
JACC: HEART FAILURE VOL. 8, NO. 4, 2020
APRIL 2020:327–8
mountains, the movies, fishing, and bowling to name
a few! I would like to say thank you to the researchers,
doctors, nurses, and program coordinators, and
God, for making my life full, enjoyable, and healthy
again!
*Carolyn Cross
*35 Lentz Lane
Edgefield, South Carolina 29824
E-mail: carolyndcross@aol.com
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jchf.2020.01.010
Please note: Ms. Cross has reported that she has no relationships relevant to the
contents of this paper to disclose.