Damon 1

Ella Damon

Mrs. Scharf

ERWC Period 4

25 January 2022

Scholarship Essay

Rubric

After completing your Scholarship Essay Assignment, highlight in yellow what you believe

you earned on your Scholarship essay on the rubric below.

6 5 4 3 2 1
W 11-12.4 A little Reflection is thoughtful and The student reflects on The student Attempt No
Produce clear and more reveals the author has his/her essay and how reflect on the to reflect evidence
coherent writing successful reflected on specific aspects he/she revised. The changes he/she
in which the than a 5 of the essay and how to student shares some of made but the
development, revise. The writer seems the specific techniques reflection might
organization, and genuinely engaged in the and changes he/she made be more
style are process of reflecting and but could go into more surface-level or
appropriate to revising by writing about detail. to just “get it
task, purpose, and the changes she/he has over with”
audience. made.

W 11-12.5 A little Develop and strengthen Develop and strengthen Develop writing Attempt No
Develop and more writing multiple times as writing as needed by by revision or to revise evidence
strengthen writing successful needed by planning, planning, revising, planning.
as needed by than a 5 revising, editing, rewriting, editing, rewriting, or
planning, or trying a trying a new approach,
revising, editing, new approach, focusing on focusing on addressing
rewriting, or addressing what is most what is most significant
trying a new significant for a for a specific purpose and
approach, specific purpose and audience.
focusing on audience.
addressing what
is most
significant for a
specific purpose
and audience.

Original Essay

Write the essay’s prompt (recreate to the best of your ability) here:

What are some of the lessons that Scout learns throughout the novel, through the interactions

with the other characters.

 Damon 2

To the best of your knowledge, what scores did you earn on this essay? If you can’t

remember the scores, what were some of the things you struggled with in this essay? What

needs to be improved?

If I remember correctly, I got around a 3 on this essay, and it was on a four point scale. Some

things I struggled with was choosing quotes that helped my thesis. Something that I need to

improve includes the analysis and explanation of the quotes that I had previously chosen, as well

as correcting some grammar errors.

[Put your original, unrevised essay here. It can be typed or pictures of your handwritten work]

Ella Damon

Pre-AP English 9B/Period 5

Mr. Boyatt

11 March 2019

To Kill a Mockingbird

In the novel, To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee tells the story of a young girl, Scout,

growing up in Maycomb, Alabama. Both Scout and her brother Jem Scout learns many useful

and valuable from people in her neighborhood. By interacting with Miss Caroline, Mrs. Maudie,

Mrs. Dubose and Atticus, Scout learns to fully understand a person, you need to see things from

their perspective, to have courage, stay humble, and if something tragic happens, to see the

good that can come out of it.

One of Scout’s first lessons she learns in the novel is to not judge a person by their

cover or background until you walk in their shoes. Miss Caroline, Scouts new first grade teacher,

is not pleased with Scout when she finds out that she already knows how to read. Miss Caroline

tells her that “[her] father does not know how to teach”(23). Scout does not understand the new

way Miss Caroline is teaching her, and why her father is not aloud to teach her to read anymore.
 Damon 3

Even though Miss Caroline is just introducing a new way of teaching, Scout does not

understand why she has to differ from the other teachers at the school. When Scout tries to tell

Miss Caroline that “Walter’s one of the Cunninghams”, she replies with “beg your pardon”(26).

Miss Caroline does not know that the Cunninghams do not accept something they can not pay

back. When Scout comes home from school that day, she tells her father what happened and he

replies that “you never really understand a person until you consider things from their point of

view, until you climb into their skin and walk around in it”(39). Atticus is telling her that she may

need to see things from her teachers point of view,

During Scout’s interactions with Miss Maudie, she learns that if something terrible or

tragic happens, the result can be positive. The day after the fire, Scout goes and talks with Miss

Maudie who tells her that “she hated that old cow barn. Thought of settin fire to it a hundred

times”(97). This shows that Miss Maudie is not grieving that her house had just been burnt

down, yet excited that she can have a fresh new start. Miss Maudie explains to Scout that she

has “always wanted a smaller house” and that she “will have more room for [her] azaleas

now”(97). This shows how greatful Miss Maudie was for something as tragic as losing her

house. Miss Maudie is the example to Scout that if something in life does not go as planned,

something else may turn out better.

Mrs. Dubose taught both Jem and Scout what real courage was, and that it was not

some guy with a gun in their hands. Mrs. Dubose is furious with Jem for ruining her flowers, so

for a consequence, she makes Jem come and read to her for a month. When Jem is reading to

her one day, she asks him if “[he] regrets it now”(146). She asks him this because she knows

that he is nervous and furious, but he does not know that it is taking all of his courage to

accomplish a small little task. After Mrs. Dubose dies, Atticus tells Jem that he “wanted to [him]

to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his

hand”(149). If Atticus did not force Jem to do a chore for Mrs. Dubose, Jem may have not seen

what courage is truly like.

 Damon 4

Throughout the beginning of the novel, Atticus teaches Scout to stay humble, and if

something is not worth being said, than to not say it. When Scout is complaining to Miss Maudie

how her father does nothing interesting, Miss Maudie tells her “there’s a life in him yet, he can

make somebody's will so airtight, can’t anybody meddle with it”(120). Miss Maudie is telling

Scout obvious things that Atticus can be, such as a great lawyer. Scout is not impressed, and a

couple days later, she tells Scout, “If [her] father’s anything, he’s civilized at heart. Marks

manship’s a gift of God”(130). When Atticus shoots the mad dog, both Scout and Jem are

shocked, but Miss Maudie told them he never said anything about it because he was a humble

and civilized person.

From interacting with Miss Caroline, Miss Maudie, Mrs. Dubose and Atticus,

Scout learns to not judge a person by their appearance, to have courage, stay humble, and stay

positive in negative times. Miss Caroline teaches her to not judge a person until you see things

from their point of view when Scout tries to tell her that Walter is a Cunningham. Miss Maudie

teaches Scout to stay positive when her own house burnt down. Mrs. Dubose teaches both

Scout and Jem what real courage was when they were forced to read to her. Finally, Atticus

taught Scout when he never told her that he used to be a great hunter, that he was being

humble and civilized.

Revised Essay

Type your revised essay in this section. Make sure to highlight in yellow the changes you

made from the original. These should be significant, meaningful changes, not just changes

to grammar, punctuation, etc.

To Kill a Mockingbird

In the novel, To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee tells the story of a young girl, Scout,

growing up in Maycomb, Alabama. Throughout the novel, both Scout and her brother Jem learn
 Damon 5

many useful and valuable lessons from people in her neighborhood. By interacting with the

characters such as Miss Caroline, Mrs. Maudie, Mrs. Dubose and Atticus, Scout learns that in

order to fully understand a person, it is important to see experiences from their perspective. She

also learns that it is important to have courage while also maintaining humbleness, and if a

tragedy occurs, to look at the benefits that may arise from the situation.

One of the first lessons that Scout learns is to not judge a person by their cover or what

someone has told you until you get the chance to step into their shoes. Miss Caroline, Scout's

new first grade teacher, is the one whom she learns this lesson from. Miss Caroline is not

pleased that Scout already knows how to read, and she tells her that “[her] father does not know

how to teach”(23). Scout is not accustomed to the new teaching style that her teacher has

introduced, and does not understand why her style has to differ from the other teachers at the

school. Scout returns home and tells her father what had happened, and he replies that “you

never really understand a person until you consider things from their point of view, until you

climb into their skin and walk around in it”(39). Atticus is telling her that she should see things

differently or from someone else's perspective before making an assumption about their

character or what their life may be like. Scout does not know Miss Caroline well, and she

decided to make an assumption about her from just a few days of knowing her.

Interactions with Miss Maudie teach Scout that if something terrible or tragic occurs, the

outcome might not always be negative. Miss Maudie’s house had just burnt down, and the day

after the fire, Scout goes and talks with her. Miss Maudie tells her that “she hated that old cow

barn”, and how she “thought of settin fire to it a hundred times” (97). This occurrence shows that

Miss Maudie is not in grief of her house burning down, yet instead sees it as an opportunity for a

fresh start that she had been wanting. Miss Maudie explains to Scout that she has “always

wanted a smaller house” and that she “will have more room for [her] azaleas now”(97). This

shows how greatful Miss Maudie was for something as tragic as losing her house. Miss Maudie
 Damon 6

is the example to Scout that if something in life does not go as planned, something else may

turn out better.

Scout has already learned many valuable lessons through various people throughout the

novel, and Mrs. Dubose is another one. She was the one who taught both Jem and Scout what

real courage was. Mrs. Dubose is furious with Jem for ruining her flowers, so for a

consequence, she makes Jem come and read to her for a month. When Jem is reading to her

one day, Mrs. Dubose asks him if “[he] regrets [ruining her flowers] now” (146). She asks him

this because she knows that he is nervous and furious, having to take responsibility for his

actions. Yet, after Mrs.Dubose dies, Atticus tells Jem that he “wanted [him] to see what real

courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand”(149). Jem

had not realized that doing a favor for Mrs. Dubose actually took courage. If Atticus had not

forced Jem to do a chore for Mrs. Dubose, he may have never learned what courage actually

was, as how it was achievable.

In the beginning and even throughout the novel, Atticus teaches Scout the importance of

staying humble in trying times, and if there is something not worth being said, it is better to keep

it private. When Scout is complaining to Miss Maudie how her father does nothing interesting,

Miss Maudie tells her “there’s a life in him yet, he can make somebody's will so airtight, can’t

anybody meddle with it”(120). She shares this to show that Atticus Miss Maudie is telling Scout

obvious things that Atticus can be, such as a great lawyer. Scout is not impressed, and a couple

days later, she tells Scout, “If [her] father’s anything, he’s civilized at heart. Mark's manship’s a

gift of God”(130). When Atticus shoots the mad dog, both Scout and Jem are shocked, but Miss

Maudie tells them he never said anything about it because he was a humble and civilized

person.

Through all of the interactions that Scout has, she learns valuable lessons that may not

only benefit herself, but the people that she is surrounded by. Some of these lessons include

how to see things from a different perspective before you end up judging someone, and the
 Damon 7

ability to have courage as well as staying humble and seeing a positive outcome from a

negative experience. Miss Caroline teaches her to not judge a person until you see things from

their point of view when Scout tries to tell her that Walter is a Cunningham. Miss Maudie

teaches Scout to stay positive when her own house burns down. Mrs. Dubose teaches both

Scout and Jem what real courage was when they were forced to read to her. Finally, Atticus

taught Scout when he never told her that he used to be a great hunter, that he was being

humble and civilized.

Reflection

1st Paragraph: Write a paragraph explaining specifically what you revised in your essay

and why. Go into thoughtful details! How did these choices improve your essay? What

skills do you now have that you were able to use to help enhance your essay?

The main things that I revised in my essay included the wording of sentences, as well as

bettering the analysis that I had for the quotes I had chosen. I had a lot of repetition throughout

my analyses, not diving into different ideas that could have been explained with the quotes that I

had picked. These choices that I made improved my essay because it made my essay more

interesting to read, since it wasn't repetitive and also helped the reader fully understand what I

meant and why I decided to choose the quotes I did. Some skills that I have acquired since I

wrote this essay include being able to choose quotes that flow well with my thesis, and adding

analysis that will tie back to my thesis. Before, I did not write the analysis to tie back to my main

idea, and now that I did that, it helps my essay flow easier.

2nd Paragraph: Write a paragraph explaining how you’ve improved as a writer since your

freshman year: What did you struggle with before? What are you proud that you can do

now?
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Something that I struggled with before included that I did not use the best quotes that

supported my thesis or my argument. Something else that I have improved on included using

more of a sufficient analysis when trying to support the evidence that I used. I have since learned

that the evidence that you pick holds the same amount of importance as the analysis itself I also

learned it is important to choose a quote that doesn't explain itself, so I can explain it, yet at the

same time choosing a quote that isn't able to be analyzed in the sense I want it to.