O F FI C E OF M A RY M.

C HE H
COUNCILMEMBER, WARD 3

CHAIR, COMMITTEE ON GOVERNMENT OPERATIONS

AND THE ENVIRONMENT

Memorandum

To: Members of the Council of the District of Columbia

From: Mary M. Cheh, Chairperson of the Committee on Government Operations and the
Environment
Re: Summary of Significant FY 2012 Budget Recommendations
Date: May 24, 2011

Tomorrow, we will take our first vote on the Fiscal Year 2012 budget. As a convenience to all, this
memorandum highlights the major Budget Support Act recommendations for my committee, which
are as follows:

1. Create an additional value added tax on all processed food or foods contained in plastic packaging. This
revenue stream shall be allocated solely towards replacing unhealthy high-sugar foods with broccoli in all vending
machines in the District. The obvious latent demand for easily accessible delicious florets will address any concerns
about the shelf life of this exquisite greenery. The Committee anticipates this will create a savings in healthcare costs
of no less than $20,000,000. When such savings materialize, they shall be used to retrofit all District government
buildings with a full service Starbucks.

2. For the purpose of encouraging the arts in the District of Columbia, the Committee recommends an allocation
of $5,000,000 in capital funds to the new Department of General Services to construct an amphitheater along the
Klingle Trail in Ward 3. Owing to the efficiency of a much-enlarged agency and the anticipated unanimous
agreement among residents, the project is expected to be completed in 90 days. Additionally, $500,000 shall be
transferred from the Executive Office of the Mayor to the Commission on Arts and Humanities. These funds shall
be used to write, cast, and produce a play entitled Sulaimon Brown’s Service: The Musical. It should be noted, however,
that the name is something of a misnomer as the title character, despite much mention, does not ever appear in the
production.

3. As part of its continuing effort to engage Congressional attention to the District’s lack of voting rights, the
Committee recommends an increase in capital funds ($580,000,000) allocated to the District Department of the
Environment to facilitate the relocation of the Blue Plains Wastewater Treatment Plant to a new installation just
upwind of the United States Capitol. The Committee notes, however, that it would reconsider relocating the facility
should more space near the Capitol be needed to accommodate new Congressional offices for a newly added state.
Funds for the relocation of the facility shall be, in part, offset by tolls placed at ingress and egress points to federal
facilities located in the District.

4. The Committee takes notice that the ten-year review of the campus plans of Georgetown University, American
University and the University of the District of Columbia has caused far too much community discord in the District
of Columbia. Therefore, the Committee recommends that the government of the District of Columbia, in line with
an exercise of the takings clause expressed in Kelo v. City of New London, hereby condemns and seizes all land and the
physical structures located therein of the above mentioned Universities. The properties shall be respectively
converted into a subway station, the nation’s largest dog park, and a strip mall. We anticipate that the condemnation
will cost approximately $1 billion. This will be amortized over twenty years, and we will allocate the tax revenue
generated by the strip mall to a special purpose fund to pay the full amount over that period of time.

5. Create a special purpose revenue fund to collect the revenues from a new entertainment-related rental service
at the Wilson Building known as “Screen in the SUV.” For a fee to be determined by the Mayor, residents will have
the opportunity to reserve time in one of two Lincoln Navigators at the Wilson Building for screenings of their
favorite movies, television shows, and votes on ceremonial resolutions. Rental pricing varies by the interior type and
color of each vehicle. All reservations are final and may not be cancelled after confirmation. Revenues from the
special purpose revenue fund will be used to subsidize SmartCars in the District.